Familial Ties Chapter 21, a mass effect fanfic

Hello everyone! Happy New Year! So, as most of you probably realize by now, the next few chapters are going to be pretty sad, just making sure you are aware. I am not overly happy with how this chapter turned out; I would have liked to spend more time on it, but I am pretty sure it would take me quite a bit of time before I thought it was perfect. And personally, I didn't want you guys to wait for three-ish weeks before I thought it was ready. I know we would all like to move on to when Jane comes back!

IMPORTANT! I know not everyone reads the author's note at the beginning but please read this. There are some songs later on in this chapter. I would really like for you guys to listen to them so that you can put yourself in the character's shoes and hopefully feel the emotions they feel. I have added the song titles and artists as well as a link to the song so that I know you find the right one. Those are posted just before the song is sung so that you don't have to scroll to the bottom to find out what song it is. Okay, I am done. Thank you.

And thank you all again for reading/following/favoriting and reviewing! I love hearing from you all!

Chapter 21

He sat in silence, staring down at the silver box that was meant to be hers, running a talon along the edges. Still, he didn't want to face the truth. Garrus knew that he had probably scared John the last time he saw him. To give his friend credit, John had come by twice since that day, though Garrus hadn't allowed him in, or even spoken to him. Garrus had continued about his normal activities, going to training, setting up programs, anything that would keep his mind busy, all the while hoping that he would receive a message from Jane saying that she had finally gotten to the Citadel for shore leave or hoping that she would walk through his door. He didn't, couldn't, face the truth.

Today, training had been cancelled. It was her memorial service. Tearing his eyes from the box to check the time, he let out a heavy sigh. His mind was torn in two; in the one respect, he didn't want to attend, refusing to accept the reality that she was gone, but, on the other hand, maybe it would help him continue with his life. Perhaps he could even pick up where she left off. He knew that this moping around wasn't what she would have wanted, but he felt like his entire reason for existing was stolen from him.

Slowly getting up, he hid the box in the wall safe and went to his closet. He had heard that humans often wore black during these events, to show their mourning; that was what he would do. His mind was in a fog as he moved about his apartment and made for the door. Just as it opened to the outside, he found a familiar individual standing there, his hand hovering over the call button.

"Hey, buddy," John said, feigning a smile. "Ready to go?"

Garrus only nodded.

They walked in silence, the normal bustle of the Citadel obviously subdued. It was strange, her face was plastered everywhere; there was no mistaking what was taking place today. They had almost arrived by the time the first word was spoken between them, "I was a little worried you wouldn't be coming today, Garrus."

"Me too."

"Everyone from the crew is here. Wrex was the last to get in, that was yesterday. I don't know how long everyone will be staying."

Garrus looked to the side to see a line of people waiting to get in; the crowd was massive, "Have they begun letting people in?"

"Let's find out," John said as he pushed open a side door. An asari and a human stood at the next door; they both recognized John and Garrus and waved them through. As the two came through on the other side, they looked around and saw that the auditorium was already full.

Spirits… Garrus thought, All these people here just for Jane. Looking forward again, he saw John leading the way to a set of seats in the very front and he saw his old crewmates.

"Garrus," Tali said getting up and coming over to him. "I'm glad you're here," she said with a slight sob in her voice.

Liara greeted him next, but she was only able to get out a wave and a small head nod before having to look away and fight back tears.

"Garrus," Kaidan said, extending his arm.

The greeting was a little cold, but Garrus decided to return it, "Kaidan." Looking over the lieutenant's shoulder, Garrus saw Joker match his eye but quickly look away. His arm was in almost a full cast from his bicep down to his hand and his leg had a cast on it as well. Garrus had never heard all of the details about the Normandy, just that Jane and Joker were the last on the ship.

Next was Captain Anderson, "Garrus Vakarian," he greeted, "Good to have you here, son. I wish it wasn't on these terms though."

"I think we could all agree on that," he managed to mumble. Looking around, he saw Wrex coming forward, but instead, someone else stood before him.

"Vakarian, correct?" Hannah Shepard said while holding her hand out to him. "I remember meeting you when you all had shore leave here. Thank you for serving with my daughter. I know she thought very highly of all of you."

Garrus shook her hand, "Thank you, Captain. It was an honor serving with Shepard," he struggled to get out her name, "I am sorry for your loss. I know we all miss her very much."

"Thank you," the older woman whispered.

He could tell that she was struggling to keep her composure. To lose a child was hard enough, but especially under conditions like this, it was unthinkable. There wasn't even a body to lay to rest because it wasn't 'cost effective' to retrieve her; the very idea made him angry and sick. As she walked away, Wrex stood before him.

"Turian," Wrex grumbled, clasping Garrus's wrist. "I hate that this is how we have to see each other again. I was rather hoping we would both be back on the ship, able to best each other."

Garrus wanted to smile, but it wouldn't come, "I know, krogan. There are a lot of things that we will be missing out on now."

Wrex grunted in agreement. He brought Garrus a little closer and whispered as best he could, "You especially. No one should have to lose someone that means that much to them. Especially since you didn't have the chance to find out for sure."

Separating from the krogan, Garrus looked at him sternly. He wanted to deny what Wrex had implied, but he couldn't. He could only nod in thanks. Hearing the same thing, the two friends looked up at the platform where the Council sat and saw the asari councilor rise.

Everyone shuffled to find their seats. Hannah sat front and center with John by her side and Tali beside him. Garrus tried to sit farther to the edge, but Wrex wouldn't let him pass; the massive being only shaking his head. Taking his seat, Garrus was followed by Wrex, Liara, Kaidan, Chakwas, and Joker completing the line. Vakarian looked around for Anderson, wondering why the man didn't have a seat along with them and soon found out why as the human councilor joined the others of his ranking on stage. Of course.

Once the auditorium had silenced, Tevos began, "We would like to thank you all for arriving today and for those who were not able to attend this area, we have set up other auditoriums so that you may witness. Today, we honor a unique individual, one who made her mark in our history, the first human Spectre, Jane Shepard, Savior of the Citadel. We believe, who better to speak about her, than her previous commanding officer, Councilor of the humans and her friend, Councilor Anderson."

Anderson stood and approached the stand, "Thank you, Councilor Tevos. I will keep this short, because I know that Shepard wouldn't like a big fuss made over her. Commander Jane Shepard was one of a kind. I served with her parents and knew her from when she was a child. Shepard never did anything the same way like everyone else. She was hellbent on carving her own path. As you all may know, she was on Elysium when the batarian slavers attacked. Her heroism saved her squad and many of the colonists, repelling the attack. Everyone remembers her bravery, but few remember that was the same battle that she lost her father."

Garrus's mandibles went slack. Why hadn't she ever told him? Why hadn't John told him? Did Jane blame herself for her father's death? He looked over at John and Hannah, and John gave his mother's hand a light squeeze of comfort.

Anderson began again, "Through her victory and her loss, Commander Jane Shepard remained true to herself and pressed on. She could have become bitter, resentful, and cruel. Instead, she decided to remain hopeful, accepting, and believed in a second chance for everyone, no matter their species. Shepard became the first human Spectre, a true role model, a paragon of her kind.

"As I said, I will keep this short, because though she would remain polite, if you knew Shepard you would know that she would prefer to not even receive an award just to prevent being put in the spotlight. So, next I would like to invite Spectre Jane Shepard's brother, John Shepard."

John squeezed his mother's hand again as tears fought over the edges of her lids. He approached the stage and looked out over the crowd as he ascended. There were so many, and so many more that he couldn't see that were watching. Anderson shook his hand and John stood before the crowd.

"Thank you, Councilor Anderson. I know that most of you have no idea who I am, and that is perfectly fine. Jane was an inspiration. She never judged anyone based on their origin, only on their actions. And even still, she was always willing to give them a second chance. Jane valued every life and would do everything in her power to save a friend or stranger. She would rather sacrifice herself to give another a chance to live." John paused and bowed his head. A lump began to form in his throat as the words sunk in; she had done exactly that for him. Giving a small cough, he looked up, "Jane saw into the individual and you couldn't change her mind once she had it set on something. Just look at her crew," he motioned to the seats at the front, "Yes, she had her Alliance crew, but she also recruited an asari scientist, a quarian engineer, a krogan warlord, and a turian C-Sec officer. She had an amazing charm about her, able to turn the tides of battle with her silver tongue. Hell, she even got a krogan and a turian to become best friends," he motioned towards Wrex and Garrus and heard a few chuckles coming from the crowd.

"There are so many things that I have seen and done while working with my sister. I never wanted the life of the soldier but I at least got a taste of it with my sister. She opened my eyes to the possibility of making the most of what you have. She helped me realize that there is more to life than what you have planned. She had the best attitude on living and I think we could all learn a lesson from her. So, I ask that we all take a page from her book, so to speak. Make the most of your life, give those who deserve it a second chance and be open to new possibilities."

Garrus bowed his head, letting the words of his friend linger in his head. John took his seat again and another began to speak, but Garrus never heard the words. By the time the event was over Garrus almost felt emptier than before. But maybe, he could try to follow through on what she had worked for.

Tali squeezed John's hand as the memorial came to a close. He was struggling to hold his composure but she had seen the few tears that escaped him. Their group stood up and John and Hannah led the way out, with John never letting go of Tali's hand. She looked down at their clasped hands, a weak glimmer of hope rising in her, only to be crushed by a realization.

The group moved into their reserved room so they could spend time together. But there was one who didn't join them; he chose to go home alone to his apartment.

It had been about a week since the memorial. Garrus tried to put it out of his head, but it continued to haunt him. He had tried to focus on his training, but to no avail. He had even gone to the Council, hoping to continue Jane's mission.

"Garrus Vakarian," Sparatus greeted, "you requested an audience with the Council but did not leave a briefing."

"Yes, Councilor, that is correct," Garrus answered. "I wanted to speak to all of you about the Reaper threat." He saw all of them exchange a look, except for Anderson, who seemed to be grinning.

"I am afraid that you are mistaken," Valern said, "There is no Reaper threat."

Just after the salarian finished, Tevos continued, "If you are referencing what happened during the attack on the Citadel, that was just the result of Saren manipulating geth to do his bidding. That is all."

Garrus shook his head, hoping to keep his cool. Just like with Shepard, they were going to ignore the real threat. These damn politicians refuse to see the truth! They have been out of battle too long. They believe they are invincible, that the end of civilization will not come in their lifetime.

He snapped out of memory to stare at the wall before him. The Council had turned him away, time and time again he had tried. At least Anderson had listened to him. Late in the afternoon that same day, he had received a call from the human councilor, asking for a meeting in his office.

"You asked for me, Councilor?" Garrus asked, unsure what the man had in mind but wanting to be polite all the same.

"Vakarian, thank you for seeing me," Anderson came over and shook Garrus's hand. "There is something that I want to talk to you about. I understand what you are trying to do with the Council. Picking up where Shepard left off. It is quite the undertaking."

Garrus could only nod.

"I know that the Council pretty much has their mind set, and unfortunately, they are not listening to me either. I don't want you to give up. I know that you are in training to become a Spectre and your standing is very impressive. I believe you won't have a problem achieving it, if you want it."

It didn't really make sense to Garrus. Why would Anderson put so much trust in him? "Why me, Councilor?"

"Please, just Anderson. And I want you because you and Shepard made quite the team before. You two were more similar than I think most people realize. If there was anyone else in this galaxy besides Shepard that could do this, it would be you." Anderson paused, gauging the turian's reaction. "I know it is a lot to ask, and the choice is completely yours, but you have my backing if you decide to pursue it."

"Thank you, sir. Anderson. I'll think on it."

"That's all I ask. Thank you, son."

That had been an interesting encounter and a little reassuring. But yesterday was still fresh in his mind too. Karcissa had caught him after training and managed to talk her way into his apartment.

"You have been slacking, Garrus," she said. "If you aren't careful, you might get cut soon. I hear they are considering their next round soon."

He only shrugged, "You want a drink?" he asked only to be polite.

"Sure."

He made two drinks and handed one to her and sat down on his couch. "I'm not worried about it."

"Well, I feel that you should be worrying about it a little," she paused as she sat next to him. "I know I am worried about you."

He peeked over at her out of the corner of his eye then returned to his drink.

"I am just saying," she leaned a little closer, "you are arguably one of the best. It would be a shame if you threw it all away. I just want to help you."

He could hear the flirtation humming in her subharmonics and he turned to face her. "What the fuck are you getting at, Karcissa? Was there even a reason for you to follow me back here."

"I told you, I'm worried about you. Stress can be killer," she purred. Her talons trailed up his neck to his fringe before he shoved her away.

"Get out."

She jumped to her feet, "I don't see what the Spirits your problem is, Garrus! How special could this other species be? You are not bound to this non-turian. Why don't you get your head out of your ass and live?"

"Because she can't and I am lost without her!" he blurted out. As soon as the words escaped him, he could see the thoughts that went through Karcissa's mind.

"Spirits…" she breathed. "She was that human Spectre. Your commanding officer. A human, Garrus! A human!" She shook her head in disgust, "You are farther gone than I thought." And she left his apartment.

Garrus rolled over in bed, trying to push out the thoughts that kept forcing their way to his mind so he would have to relive them all over again. He just wanted to sleep. Why couldn't he sleep? His mind drifted back to the moments when he had the best sleep of his life. No, stop thinking of that. She is gone. Those nights meant nothing. He closed his eyes and growled at himself.

An insistent beep began to sound.

What in the name of the Spirits is that?

The beep sounded again.

Grumbling to himself, he stood up and went downstairs. It wasn't the door, nor any of his alarms. Turning to his console, he saw the flash of a message. Curiosity overtook him and he opened the communication list. It wasn't a live feed, just a recorded message, but it was encrypted. Who would be sending me and encrypted… his thought didn't finish as he realized the only one recently who had been sending him those types of files. Sitting back in his chair, he stared at it for a moment. It couldn't be. Maybe she is alive. No, don't get your hopes up. John was devastated. She wouldn't put him through that. But… maybe…?

Garrus could feel his heart pounding as he clicked the message open. At first there was nothing, no video, no sound; his heart fell, Damaged. Or it couldn't send. Then he could hear a rustling and he stared at the screen for it to come to life.

"Hey, big guy," the screen flickered on and Jane was sitting before him. She was in her desk chair on the Normandy, her quarters were easily identifiable in the background. Her golden fringe was all down and swept over one shoulder, a small smile was spread across her lips, she was wearing her black N7 tank top, and her knee pulled to her chest with an arm wrapped around it.

It was her. It really was. She was just as he remembered.

"Although, I am sure we have already seen each other, I still wanted to send you this." Garrus thought back to the date; she was right. This was the week they would have had shore leave. A pain shot through his heart and radiated through his body. "But, I just wanted to say happy birthday! I know what you are thinking: how in the name of the Spirits does she know? Well, Garrus, I have my ways." He looked at his omni-tool and brought up Palaven's time. Again, she was right. It was his birthday, and he hadn't even realized it. How did she know? "Well, I knew that you wouldn't want me to give you a present, but I am going to do it anyway. I know that you wouldn't stand for me buying you anything, but don't worry, I didn't spend a single credit. I just wanted to put a little thought into it, and I hope you appreciate it. These are some of my favorite songs that I wanted to share with you. I figured I would start with the one that you first heard from me, despite the fact that I didn't realize you were listening."

Garrus waited and saw her adjust in her seat and activate something on her console. Music began to play and he immediately recognized the first song he heard her sing.

{{ 'I'm Through With Love' sung by Marilyn Monroe - watch?v=BbFLfSVNYSQ }}

"I'm through with love, I'll never fall again. Said adieu to love, Don't ever call again. For I must have you or no one, And so I'm through with love. I've locked my heart, I'll keep my feelings there. I've stocked my heart, With icy, frigid air. And I mean to care for no one, Because I'm through with love…."

He bowed his head trying to hold back his sorrow. He wanted to hear every word from her. It was so beautiful. He thought back to when he first heard this song from her; she had just come out of the shower and was still in only the towel. He wanted that moment back. If he knew now what he did then, he might have taken a chance.

The song wasn't long enough for him and it was soon over. He looked back up to see Jane nervously bite her lip, as if she were waiting for his reaction. "Well, if you are still watching this, I am just going to move on to the next song. I have found myself singing this one quite a bit lately."

Garrus waited and he heard another song begin to play, it was slower and it didn't sound familiar to him at all. He was determined not to take his eyes off her this time.

"When I was younger I saw my daddy cry, And curse at the wind. He broke his own heart and I watched, As he tried to reassemble it. And my momma swore, That she would never let herself forget. And that was the day that I promised, I'd never sing of love, if it does not exist. But darling, You are the only exception. You are the only exception. You are the only exception. You are the only exception. Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul, That love never lasts. And we've got to find other ways to make it alone, Or keep a straight face. And I've always lived like this, Keeping a comfortable distance. And up until now, I have sworn to myself, That I'm content with loneliness. Because none of it was ever worth the risk. Well you are the only exception. You are the only exception. You are the only exception. You are the only exception…."

Could she really mean this for me? No it can't be. It is just a favorite song of hers.

He sat speechless as he watched and listened to her sing. How could he have squandered his time with her before? He had wasted so much time that had seemed to never end. As the song came to a close, he could feel the pain in his heart again and he fought with his emotions to continue. He was cracking, he could tell, but he wanted to finish the message and he couldn't pause it.

"This next one is a little sadder," Jane spoke again, setting up the song. "But I couldn't resist not putting it in here.

"There's a whole 'nother conversation going on, In a parallel universe. Where nothing breaks and nothing hurts. There's a waltz playin' frozen in time, Blades of grass on tiny bare feet, I look at you and you're looking at me. Could you beam me up, Give me a minute, I don't know what I'd say in it, I'd probably just stare, happy just to be there holding your face. Beam me up, Let me be lighter, I'm tired of being a fighter, I think, a minute's enough, Just beam me up. Saw a blackbird soarin' in the sky, Barely a breath I caught one last sight. Tell me that was you sayin' goodbye. There are times I feel the shiver and cold, It only happens when I'm on my own, That's how you tell me I'm not alone. Could you beam me up, Give me a minute, I don't know what I'd say in it, I'd probably just stare, happy just to be there holding your face. Beam me up, Let me be lighter, I'm tired of being a fighter, I think, a minute's enough, Just beam me up. In my head I see your baby blues, I hear your voice and I, I break in two and now there's one of me with you. So when I need you can I send you a sign, I'll burn a candle and turn off the lights. I'll pick a star and watch you shine…."

There were moments as he watched that he saw her eyes tear up, but then she would close them and they would seem normal again; was it just his imagination? He sat motionless, captivated by her song as it ended and she continued into another.

"Okay, so I am finished with the sad, slower songs. Here is the next one.

"I turn my head, I can't shake the look you gave. And I'm good as dead, Cause oh those eyes are all it takes, And all I want is you. So I pull away, All I do is sit and wait. But I might as well write the words right on my face, That all I want is you, oh is you. Because I've kept my heart under control, But lately all this time has taken its toll. Said I tried to but I can't hold back what's deep in my soul, Oh, so darling please forgive me, I want you and you'll just have to know. And all my fears creep and crawl across my skin and, These four walls are after me and moving in. But all that I want to do, Is give up, give in, let this one stay where it is. But I don't suppose I will, Because I've kept my heart under control, But lately all this time has taken its toll. Said I tried to but I can't hold back what's deep in my soul, Oh so darling please forgive me, I want you and you'll just have to know. One of these days I'm gonna find myself a way, I'll find the courage and I'll find the grace, And I'm gonna know just what to say. And you'll walk on up when you want this love, When you've had enough and you've given up…."

It had at least been a more up-tempo song, but the words burned into him. He sat captivated by her as the next song came up.

Jane paused before she started the music for the next song. "I want to give a short intro for this one. For some reason, I remember singing part of this in front of you. So, I figure I should sing the rest of it for you.

"Here I am waiting, I'll have to leave soon. Why am I holding on? We knew this day would come, We knew it all along. How did it come so fast? This is our last night but it's late, And I'm trying not to sleep, Cause I know, when I wake, I will have to slip away. And when the daylight comes I'll have to go, But tonight I'm gonna hold you so close. Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own, But tonight I need to hold you so close. Oh whoa, oh-whoa, oh-whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Oh whoa, oh-whoa, oh-whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Here I am staring at your perfection, In my arms, so beautiful. The sky is getting bright, the stars are burning out, Somebody slow it down. This is way too hard, cause I know when the sun comes up, I will leave. This is my last glance that will soon be memory…."

She knew. She knew the truth about that night.

"Alright," Jane smiled, "I feel that I have thoroughly embarrassed myself, but I do have one more. I figured I would end with a happier song. I hope you like it.

"If I were made of stone could you shake my soul, To its very core like no one could before. Now you turned me into such a fool and you know it's true, And if I never make it back to you, just know I wanted to. If I were made of stone could you shake my soul, To its very core no one could before. It was easy to block the thought of you, But you get right through and I'm glad you do. Now you turned me into such a fool and you know it's true, And if I never make it back to you, just know I wanted to. I don't know how I can tell you straight. Its gotta be just the right time anyways. I swear to God one day I'm gonna say it to your face. Yeah, one day. If I were made of stone could you shake my soul, To its very core like no one could before. Now you turned me into such a fool and I don't know if you know it's true, But if I never make it back to you, just know I wanted to. Just know I wanted to, just know I wanted to. And I don't know if you know it's true, But if I never make it back to you, just know I wanted to."

Jane bit her lip and began to fidget with her fringe. "Well, I hope you liked it. I am sure we will be seeing each other sometime soon by this point, so I will expect your teasing later. Happy birthday, Garrus." She smiled and looked into the camera, but it seemed like she was looking right into his soul.

Garrus couldn't make himself move. The words of the songs sank into him but his mind didn't want to process it. Slowly, he reached out and played the message again. He watched every little movement of her and listened intently to every word and syllable, committing everything to memory. By the time the message had finished playing again, there was no stopping his subharmonics from screaming his pain. Subharmonics were the closest thing that turians had to the human equivalent of crying, but, Spirits, did he wish he could now.

He roared his anguish and reached out to touch the screen, wishing his hand could continue through the picture and feel her skin. Leaning forward, he felt his breath become scarce and shaky as he tried to breathe. She had loved him and he loved her, but neither of them had told the other; could that really be true? Garrus sang his pain out through his subharmonics and rested his head on the desk, his hand still on the screen of the console.

It wasn't until he heard his alarm to get up did he realize it was now morning. Looking up, he stared at the time. He should be going to training, but he just didn't feel like he could anymore. What was the point? The Council would never listen to him and his only reason for living had been ripped from him.

He couldn't stay here. He had to leave.

Before getting up, he transferred Jane's message to his omni-tool then began to wipe his console of everything. He didn't know what he planned on doing, but he had to get off the Citadel. There were too many reminders of his previous life, too many reminders of her. After he had finished, he went back upstairs and retrieved the silver box. Next, he threw a few clothes into a small bag, just enough to get him through a few days before he erased the rest of himself.

Heading out of the apartment, he didn't even bother locking it behind himself; nothing else mattered. Once he reached the docks, he stared at the bustle of the Citadel, unsure where to go next.

"Garrus?"

The turian turned around to see John standing behind him.

"Garrus, what are you doing down here?"

"I'm leaving."

The hurt was clear on John's face as stared at his friend. "Why are you leaving? What prompted this?"

Garrus shook his head, "I just… I can't take the bureaucratic bullshit here. Too much red tape and bending over backwards for a system that doesn't even appreciate it. I am done."

"No, please, Garrus," John started, "You can't leave. Everything is falling apart without having Jane here. Wrex is going back to Tuchanka permanently, he said. Liara is leaving the Citadel for good, too. Joker, Chakwas, and Alenko don't know what else to do so they are going back to the Alliance. You and Tali are all that I have left."

He felt bad, he really did, but Garrus couldn't stay. "I'm sorry, John. I just can't deal with this."

John felt a mixture of pain at losing his friend and betrayal that his best friend could leave so easily and with no regard for anyone else. "It's not just the politics, is it? It's because Jane isn't here. I know what this week would have been if the Normandy hadn't been destroyed. We all want her back, but none of us can change it." He watched Garrus stare him down, but John had squared off with his friend before, "I want a real answer. Did you love my sister?"

The words took Garrus by surprise, but not enough to break his control over his emotions. He never wanted to think about his loss and how much it hurt again, especially not about how much he loved her; he would no longer admit it to himself. "No. That's ridiculous to even consider. A turian and a human? There was nothing and obviously never will be." There was a long awkward pause as they stared at each other. "I'm sorry, John," Garrus said with his voice dropping low, "I just can't be here anymore. Good luck in your life."

Garrus turned away and took long strides into the crowd to distance himself from his friend, ignoring the shouts from the human. Getting into the first public shuttle he could, he paid for his ticket and sat down. He brought up his omni-tool and began to wipe any traceable codes from it. He only had his essential programs and the message from Jane. He thought about what he had considered earlier. He didn't want any reminder of her, it was too painful.

His hand hovered over the 'delete' the button.

John watched his best friend walk away. How could he do that? It wasn't like Garrus to be like this. It was almost like he was pulling away from everyone, becoming more secluded than ever since Jane passed away. Now what was John supposed to do? It seemed that everyone was leaving him. His own mother had shipped back out to the Alliance only a day after the memorial. Now, most of the crew was gone too. At least he still had Tali. He didn't know what they were, but she was sticking around for him.

Turning away from the crowd, John began to head back to his hotel. He had felt compelled to take a walk that morning, but obviously that had only put him in a worse mood as he saw Garrus leaving everything behind. John needed to figure out his own life, maybe try to get back some sort of normalcy.

Entering his room, he looked at his surroundings, an odd silence hanging heavy in the air. Looking around the corner he saw Tali sitting in a chair and she stood at he entered. He smiled at her but then looked down and saw the bag at her feet and his face immediately fell. "Tali? What's going on?"

Her voice shook as she tried to speak and he saw her shoulders heave in a deep breath, "I am rejoining the Flotilla, John."

He took a tentative step forward, "You are leaving?" he cautiously asked, already knowing the answer; she nodded her head. "Why now?"

She looked away from the hurt on his face. This was harder than she thought, "I'm sorry, John. I am overdue for ending my Pilgrimage anyway. I need to return to my people."

John closed the distance and held her hands in his, "Tali, please, not now. I know you need to go back, but I can't lose you."

Tali felt the tears roll down her cheeks and looked away from him. "I've made my choice. I'm sorry," she pulled her hands out of his and took a step back. "Maybe we'll see each other again someday."

He couldn't believe this; he was losing everyone, all at once. It couldn't be real. "Tali, don't do this." What could he say? She seemed determined to leave and nothing he could say would change her mind.

"I'm sorry, John," she sobbed. She grabbed her bag and rushed out the door, knowing that if she looked back she wouldn't be able to leave.

John heard the door shut and looked at the spot where he had last seen her, his hands still frozen in the position from holding hers. Slowly, he slumped down into the chair. The silence of being alone had never been so loud.

Now what was he supposed to do?

P.S. If I have something that doesn't follow the storyline I set up, please let me know so I can change it. It has been a while since I had the chance to read through my entire story. Thanks for reading!