Sorry that this one took quite a while to get posted… again. Honestly, I haven't really felt like writing something so filled with emotion. I won't get into what is going on with me but things are okay. Anyway, moving on… I hope you enjoy this chapter. And guess what! We officially reached over 200,000 words! (Not including author's notes!) Thank you all for sticking with me and thank you to everyone reading/following/favoriting and reviewing!
Chapter 34
Garrus followed close behind Shepard with Mordin at his side. There was something that was bothering him about Warden Kuril, though he couldn't quite place it. The way Kuril had described the lacking capabilities of regular law enforcement and needing to make the galaxy a safer place almost reminded Garrus of the way he used to see things, black and white. If he hadn't met Shepard, he may have ended up with the same cut throat mentality. One part that Garrus knew he differed was the fact that Kuril would release the prisoners if planets didn't pay; releasing any criminal with that sort of history was just plain reckless.
As they walked down the hallway, he looked out the window to see two convicts fighting. A guard activate a pylon, freezing both individuals and pulling them apart. With technology like that, he was unsure how he didn't see it used more often. Garrus scanned the area as Kuril told Shepard the directions. He brought his attention to the bare-faced turian, and saw Kuril give Jane a long, lingering look, as if he were appraising her; something was definitely off. Stealing a quick look at Jane, he could see that she thought the same thing as she narrowed her eyes at Kuril.
They stayed quiet as they continued down the hallway again. The entire ship felt like it was hiding something and it was more than just the fact that it was a prison ship. Each guard they passed seemed to be eyeing them as if they were a potential prisoner that would suddenly make a break for it. A muffled sound began to make its way to them and Jane perked up a little more. As they reached the source, Jane followed the gaze of the guard to see another inside the pod severely beating a prisoner.
Garrus glanced into the pod and stood to the right behind Jane and said quietly, "You don't even get good information that way. After a point, victims admit to anything to make the pain stop." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he realized how it could have been taken and immediately regretted it.
Jane refused to even look at her friend.
"Is there something I can do for you?" the turian guard said.
He sounds so young, Garrus thought.
"There is no excuse for beating a prisoner who can't fight back," Jane spat as she looked over at the guard.
"This is a massage compared to what his victims went through."
Jane knew he was probably right, but her conscience wouldn't let her stay quiet, "This degrades you as much as him."
"We have orders," the guard replied with a little less bravado than before.
"You're not important enough to make your own decisions?" Jane said with softness in her voice and though he had a helmet covering his face, Jane could see that she had reached him.
"I admit… I sometimes get tired of this. Doesn't really get us anything useful."
"Stop this. For your own sake."
"Yeah, you're right," he turned to the cell, "Call it off. At least for now."
Garrus grinned slightly at how easy it was for Jane to talk someone into being a better person. He always wondered where she developed those skills or if it came naturally to her. He followed to the next pod where Jane decided to talk to the prisoner. He caught the gist of what they were talking about but Garrus didn't really feel like talking with someone who had deserved to be thrown in here. It was hard being on the prison ship; in a way, it reminded him of Omega, and those were thoughts he would rather not have dredged up.
After moving on, they eventually made their way into what looked like a large office, but it was completely empty. Something wasn't right. Jane came to the door but just as it opened she paused and Kuril's voice came overhead.
"My apologies, Shepard. You're more valuable as a prisoner than a customer. Drop your weapons and proceed into this open cell. You will not be harmed."
Should have known… Garrus thought.
"Go to hell. I'll send you there myself," Jane retorted, prompting Garrus to smirk.
"Activate systems!" Kuril announced.
They pulled out their weapons as the door opened. Jane and Garrus moved in unison to one of the tables on the right with Mordin moving up to cover a little further up on their left. Bullets were the first to come through the door, prompting all of them to remain behind their cover. She had started to peek over the edge but before she could get a good look Garrus pulled her back down.
"What the fuck, Garrus!" she demanded.
"You went up too early. You could have been shot."
"This isn't my first time going into battle! I may have been dead for the last two years but I still remember it like it was yesterday!" She pulled her arm from his grasp and glared at him, "If you want to keep me safe, cover me!" She switched to her pistol as she peeked over the edge again.
Garrus switched to his rifle while watching her for a signal and saw her squeeze her eyes shut as if she was having an internal debate. She opened her eyes, looked again and without turning to him she nodded slightly. Bringing up his gun over the table, he fired a round straight through a guard's head, causing the others to duck behind cover.
Jane slid across the table and raised her pistol as a guard came around the corner. Before she could even get off a shot, a bullet tore through his throat. Even at the morbid sight, Jane smiled knowing that it had been Garrus, still on point as ever. Another two came around the corner as she was pushing forward and in the split second that she saw them she thought back to what she had decided before leaving cover: using her biotics. Maybe Joker had been right and she needed to use them so she wouldn't have another episode.
Before she had finished her thoughts, she could already feel the biotics charging within her. Ah, what the hell, she thought and continued to build up her biotics into a charge. She surged forward, slamming into a guard that had just rounded the corner and sent him flying backwards through the glass of the hallway. The resulting shockwave of her dissipating biotics knocked the last two guards off their feet. Jane brought her pistol up and put two shots in each of them before motioning for her team to follow.
Garrus lowered his weapon, hardly believing what he had seen and his hands shaking slightly. He realized that he (now) didn't know what her biotics were actually capable of and he had to change the way he read her movements. She had never used a charge before, and he wasn't ready for that. That guard had been in his crosshairs but just before he pulled the trigger, it was Jane's head. He had immediately redirected his rifle as he took his finger off the trigger. As he jogged up to Jane's position, he attempted to reload only to fumble with the clip a few times before it found its mark.
"Garrus," Jane said turning around at the sound of the clip clacking against the gun, "you alright?"
He smacked the clip into place and brought the gun up just as another guard came into sight down the hallway. Sending a bullet through his head, he answered, "I'm fine. Never better."
"Reinforce out-processing! Shepard is loose!" Kuril's voice sounded again.
Jane nodded, "Let's go."
They continued to fight their way through the facility, Jane taking point with Garrus on her right and Mordin on her left. Jane used her biotics sparingly, trying not to push herself or risk getting too tired. But even the simplest of powers were made stronger from the lack of use and it only served to confuse Garrus. He had seen some of her power on Omega but he thought it was a fluke, possibly from her just waking up and not being used to them, but this time, it was clear something was very different.
Coming up to the door for out-processing, Jane paused to make sure everyone was ready. They nodded in unison and they entered the room. The technician turned, ready with a weapon but Mordin had sent a cryo blast toward the man, freezing him to the spot. Jane was just about to shoot the man but the sound of a rifle shot echoed in the room and the meat-sicle of a man shattered into a million pieces.
She spun on her heel and glared at Garrus, "That was going to be my kill!"
"I didn't see your name on it," the turian responded naturally. It didn't occur to him that she might have been serious and he worried that he might have upset her, but when his eyes found hers, he saw the light-heartedness behind them and the smirk on her face.
"You'll get away with it this time, turian," she said before turning to the controls. She looked at the computer in front of her and then up at the cell.
"Shepard," Garrus started, "if you hack that control, every door on the cell block opens."
Mordin looked over at Garrus, "However, required if we want to get Jack out of stasis."
"I'm doing it. Be ready."
They watched in silence as the mechs turned to the stasis chamber as the machine reached into the pod to bring Jack up. Through the cryo cloud, they could see the human woman strapped to the stand by her wrists and neck.
"That's Jack?" Mordin asked, puzzled.
Jane didn't answer but looked closely at Jack as her fingers began to move and her head snapped up, fury in her eyes. Jack ripped her arms out of the bonds then broke her collar open before falling forward. The mechs began to close in around her, already programmed to read her as a threat. A blue biotic field surged around the human as she ran forward screaming at the top of her lungs and punching through one of the mechs.
"We have to get down there!" Mordin said but everyone was already rearming themselves and moving towards the door.
They followed the bread trail of destroyed mechs and deceased guards, making it obvious that Jack was more than okay alone. They entered into one of the cell areas that the hallway overlooked and took in their surroundings; several cell pods were empty and many hanging on by mere cables. They moved forward to take cover at the ramp.
"Prisoner went berserk," Mordin spoke his observations out loud, "Impressive biotic ability. Could be problematic on Normandy."
Jane looked over at Mordin and hung her head, swallowing the lump in her throat; a movement that wasn't lost on Garrus. He leaned in to Jane and tapped her arm, "Everything okay?" he whispered.
She forced out a grin, "Of course." But Garrus could hear the shakiness of her voice. "Let's take the higher path. Around the pods, along that platform. Garrus, you're on point with me."
They moved forward and flattened themselves against the pods. Garrus waited for her signal and when she nodded, they ran forward and slid behind the small wall.
Kuril's voice sounded again, "All prisoners: return to your cells immediately or I'll open every airlock on this ship!"
They made quick work of the prisoners and guards but there was a mech that was closing in on their position. The worked away at its shield and Garrus activated his overload to take out the last of it. Mordin used a cryo blast to help bring down the armor along with Jane's warp. The mech was getting closer and switched to rockets firing them at Jane and Garrus's position. The platform shook and they both hunkered down waiting for a pause.
"Heading to the right to distract," Mordin said.
"No. Mordin, wait!" Jane called but he was already moving. "Fuck." She heard the click of the machine gun readying and could tell from the vibrations that the mech was turning to focus on Mordin. "Garrus, concussive shot."
"Already on it," he said and leaned out from cover.
The mech raised its gun and Garrus fired, nailing his target in the head causing it to readjust. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jane summoning her biotic power and channeling it to her hands; she then stood up and threw the energy at the mech. It landed right in the mech's chest pushing it back again. Jane launched another attack with her biotics to pull one of its legs out from under it. As it fell backwards, Garrus sent another shot through its head. They all stared at the inactive machine, waiting to make sure it was down for good.
"Alright," Jane said. "Let's finish this."
Garrus, Mordin, and Shepard entered the room just as Kuril placed a bullet through a prisoner's head. "You're valuable, Shepard. I could've sold you and lived like a king." He whipped his gun around and haphazardly fired a shot at her. They split up as the bullet ricocheted off the crate in front of them, Mordin to the left and Garrus and Jane to the right. "But you're too much trouble. At least I can recapture Jack."
He fired again and Jane watched it spark off the crate above Mordin's head. "Not happening!" she yelled back, "You're a two-bit slave trader and I don't have time for it." Jane checked her gun, disappointed that she only had her pistol and assault rifle. She felt a nudge against her arm and it was Garrus, holding his rifle out for her. She smiled at him.
"I do the hard things civil governments are unwilling to! This is for the good of the galaxy!"
Jane rolled out from cover. She brought the gun up and fired. At the same moment, Kuril raised his omni-tool and an arc of blue light fired from a pylon, emanating a shield around Kuril just in time to deflect her bullet. Shepard growled her frustration as she lowered the gun, feeling Kuril's grin from behind the shield. Garrus came over to Jane and grabbed her arm, helping her to her feet.
"You're a bit rusty, Jane," he said as they took cover.
"Just trying to let you feel useful, big guy," she smirked back at him as she shoved the gun back into his arms. "Focus on that pylon!" she ordered to the team. It didn't take long to destroy it but there were still another two sustaining the shield. "Alright, I am heading up the left side to take out that pylon. Mordin, you head towards the right. Garrus, hold this position and snipe whatever you see."
"Roger that."
"Yes, Commander."
Jane left cover first and sprinted up the ramp. She heard the bullets pinging around her and some struck her shields. As she reached the top, several tiles rose up, Well, that was convenient, she thought and ducked behind one of the tiles just as a guard rounded the corner. Rolling up to the next cover, she launched a singularity causing the guard to drift harmlessly through the air while she took out the shield generator. As she turned back to take out the guard, a rifle shot tore through his chest and he fell to the ground.
"Thanks for lining that one up for me, Shepard," Garrus called out.
She was about to come up with a retort but Mordin interrupted her thoughts.
"Commander. Assistance is needed on the right."
She turned to see Mordin pinned down by three guards with a door open to allow more in. "On my way, Mordin." She knew that it would be risky but she decided to chance it. Looking down the pathway, she saw that it turned right, towards Mordin's position. Running towards the shield, she slid around the corner and saw a guard moving to Mordin's position. Her biotics launched her forward, catching her off guard. She body slammed into the guard, sending him into the wall but leaving her out in the open. Jane felt a sharp pain in her arm before Mordin jerked her back behind cover. "Thanks."
"Seemed disoriented."
"Yeah… you could say that," Jane squeezed her eyes shut to help her refocus. After giving her hands a quick shake, she turned toward the gunfire and thrust her hands forward, sending out a shockwave. Tumbling to the side, she sent out a biotic throw and knocked a guard up into the air. Without any prompting, Mordin sprinted out from cover and easily took out the generator. They could hear Kuril curse as the shield depleted. Mordin and Jane turned on him but he stayed behind cover.
"I can't see anything," Garrus said. "Moving to the left flank."
"Be careful, Garrus."
"I'll be fine, his cover is patchy at best. As long as you keep distracting him, I'll have a clear shot."
"We'll make it happen." In the first pause of gunfire, she and Mordin fired into Kuril's cover. She heard the sound of rifle fire then the sound of a turian snarling; thankfully it came from where she was looking.
"Spirits! He backed up to the wall, I can't see him."
"We can't see him from this position either," Jane replied, "I'll open the window to get him pinned down. When I am out, cover me. I'm moving up."
"You got it, Shepard," Mordin answered.
"Jane, what you are you planning?" Garrus peered through his scope and fired as soon as he saw Kuril's head stick out but the warden returned to cover just in time.
"Get ready with that rifle of yours. I'm going to set up a singularity."
"Ready," Garrus responded.
Jane leaned out and began firing. Kuril shrunk back behind his cover, giving her a chance to move forward as she continued to rain bullets on his position. "Mordin, now!" she said dropping her assault rifle and throwing the singularity. Bringing up her pistol, she held her breath waiting to see Kuril come out from cover.
"What's going on? Where is he?" Garrus asked.
"Must be holding himself down!" Jane shouted. Without hesitation, she climbed onto a crate to try to get a better look. She stayed low and heard Garrus moving up to her position.
"Jane, what the hell are you doing?" he hissed.
Without taking her eyes off the location, she brought her gun up and eased into a standing position. Their eyes met. Kuril was holding onto a knife that was dug into a wall, keeping him behind cover but he raised his free hand to aim his gun at her. Kuril pulled the trigger as Jane began to fire her own shots. Although some of hers found their mark, one of his managed to get through her shields and land in her shoulder. Her body whipped to the side but she managed to recover before falling off.
She heard heavy footsteps running for her but all she saw was red. Her focus on her target once again. With almost no hesitation, she charged forward, her biotics carrying her onto his platform and body checking him into the wall. His fingers barely held onto the knife with enough force to then rip it from the crate and swipe at Jane. She sidestepped and used her biotics to pull him forward as his arm finished coming across with the blade. She reached towards him, wrapping her biotics around his hand to pull it closer to his chest and turn the blade skyward and forced Kuril to thrust it into the juncture between his jaw and neck.
The turian's body went slack as he fell forward. Her chest heaved as she continued to come down from her biotic high, the blue flames still roiling around her hands.
"Jane?" a two toned voice said.
She looked at the source and her thoughts returned to her. Looking down at her hands, the blue winked out and her body slumped. What the hell happened to me? It was like I was a bystander to my own body. Biting her lip, she walked to the edge of the platform and sat on the edge to climb down. Garrus held a hand out to help her but she avoided it; what if she hurt him?
For a moment it hurt that she avoided him but after what he witnessed, he wasn't surprised that she was keeping her distance. Even Mordin had come up to assist her and she gave a wide birth to him as well. "Jane, are you alright?"
"Yeah. Fine." Out of the corner of her eye she saw movement and looked up at the walkway. Her team followed her movement and they saw a tattooed woman running down the hallway with blue biotics coiling around her. "We need to get up there."
They took off at a run, hoping that they would reach her in time. As they got up to the walkway level, they could hear screaming but it seemed to be more in frustration. Down the hallway, Jane saw the woman flailing her arms and grunting in frustration, oblivious to the guard approaching from the opposite end of the hallway. Jack turned to the guard just as Jane fired her shot, nailing the guard through the head.
Jack turned on Shepard, biotics flaring. Jane lowered her gun and holstered it to her leg. "What the hell do you want?" Jack demanded.
"My name is Shepard. And I'm here to get you off this ship."
She paced like a wild animal in a cage, "I'm not going anywhere with you. You're Cerberus."
"I'm here to ask for your help."
Jack looked out the window, "You show up in a Cerberus frigate to take me away somewhere? You think I'm stupid?"
Jane noticed the blue flames begin to coil around Jack's hands. Don't do it… Jane thought. Before Jane could mentally prepare herself, Jack fired a large biotic blast at them. Shepard didn't even hesitate and threw up a biotic barrier of her own that completely consumed Jack's attack. Lowering her hands, the field fell away and she saw Jack make a small head nod but was unaware of the looks she got from her team.
"Impressive," Jack panted. Though she wouldn't admit it, she had actually put in quite a bit of her strength into that attack. "I guess Cerberus found themselves a new lab rat."
"I am not their experiment. I am not part of their plan. This ship is going down in flames. We can get you to safety and we're asking for your help," Jane said.
Jack crossed her arms, "Look, you want me to come with you. Make it worth my while."
"Join my team and I'll do what I can for you."
"Don't make promises you can't keep. I bet your ship's got lots of Cerberus databases. I want to look at those files. See what Cerberus has got on me. You want me on your team, let me go through those databases."
Jane nodded, "I'll give you full access."
"You better be straight up with me," Jack came closer to Shepard to look her in the eyes. After seeing what she wanted, Jack leaned away and looked at the ship the Commander had waiting. "So why the hell are we standing here?"
The commander smiled, "Move out," she said and her team began to follow behind her. Peeking over her shoulder, she saw Jack stare out at the ship a moment longer before finally beginning to follow. She was thankful that Jack was coming along without too much of a fight, but there definitely seemed to be something bothering her about Cerberus; Jane was just as interested to find out what as Jack was to get information on herself.
As they boarded the ship, Jane kept a watchful eye on their newest team member who eyed every inch with suspicion. Jane leaned into the cockpit, "Get us out of here, Joker."
"Anywhere in particular?"
"I haven't decided yet."
Jack was about to bring up their deal but heard another approach her from behind and readied her biotics. It was a woman with black hair and in a skin tight, white suit. Jack already didn't like her.
"Shepard, we should review the mission in the comm room."
"We were getting there, Lawson." Jane led the way and as they reached to room, she turned to the two aliens, "You two are both dismissed unless there are any concerns."
"None at all, Shepard," Mordin said. "Will return to lab work."
"I'll speak with you after, if that's alright, Shepard," Garrus said quietly.
Jane nodded, "You can either wait out here or in my quarters. I'll be with you momentarily." She saw him nod and internally debate where to go but Miranda and Jack were already inside and waiting on her. Joining the other women, she let the door shut behind her, still confused about what was affecting Garrus.
As soon as the doors shut, Miranda started, "Welcome to the Normandy, Jack. I'm Miranda, Shepard's second-in-command. On this ship, we follow orders." She paced in front of the tattooed woman before stopping in front of her to clasp her hands behind her back. Miranda didn't want this filth on the ship.
Jack was leaning against the wall and scowled the entire time Miranda was speaking. Looking over the woman's shoulder, she spoke to Jane, "Tell the Cerberus cheerleader to back off, Shepard. I'm here because of our deal."
"Miranda will let you into the system. Let me know what you find."
Jack smirked at Miranda, "Hear that precious? We're going to be friends. You, me, and every embarrassing little secret. I'll be reading down in the hold or somewhere near the bottom. I don't like a lot of through traffic. Keep your people off me," she walked towards the exit, "Better that way."
Lawson looked at Shepard with her usual disapproving glare. She shook her head and walked out. Jane knew what Miranda was thinking, she was making a mistake, again. Either way, it was Shepard in charge, not Miranda, and Jane would continue to do what she thought best.
Jane leaned against the table for a few moments after Miranda left to give her associates some time to make it to their destinations. Figuring enough time had passed, she pushed off the table and walked towards the hall. Just as the door opened, Jane felt suddenly light-headed and stumbled to the side, catching herself in the frame. Taking a quick look around, she was thankful that no one was there to see her weakness. That was weird, she thought. I'm glad that Garrus decided to just go up instead of waiting outside. I would have a hard time brushing that off if he saw it. She took a deep breath and walked through the ship. As she passed Kelly, she saw the woman open her mouth to alert her to new messages and Jane nodded in acknowledgement.
She stood before the elevator and pressed the button to call it. She waited, and waited a little bit more with her hands clasped behind her back. Once the door opened, she took a step forward then saw the figure waiting in the small area, leaning against the wall and faltered in her step. "Garrus," she entered.
He stood upright, "Don't tell me you already forgot. My feelings might get hurt."
"You? Feelings? Do tell."
"I suppose I deserve that."
Dammit! Jane cursed herself, I meant it as a joke! I didn't actually want to hurt his feelings. "Um… so, why are you in the elevator? When I didn't see you outside the room I thought you would have just been up in my quarters."
"Well, I realized that I hadn't been up there yet and it felt a little awkward letting myself in."
"So, you've been riding the elevator while you waited?"
"Yeah… this thing does move slowly. And it's been awkward standing here in the corner while people are going to their destinations. I feel like a creep. I might have scared some of the Cerberus crew."
"I guess you are the scariest of the aliens on the ship."
"Doesn't help that I am normally hiding away in the main battery, too, I guess" as soon has he finished the sentence, the doors opened to the small corridor before Jane's quarters. They exited but when she still hadn't responded to his sentence he started to worry about where they stood.
"Ready to say goodbye to your hermit ways, then?" Jane smiled over her shoulder at him as she stood in front of the door to her quarters.
"I suppose I have been a little closed off. And I know it's my fault." She kept her smile but he could see her thinking.
Turning back to the door, Jane typed in the code and led the way inside. "Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?" She looked back at him and saw him looking around the room. "You know what? Go ahead and make yourself comfortable. I'm going to change out of my armor. If you don't mind, that is."
His attention was drawn away from the empty tank to look at her, "Oh, sure." She walked to the side of the bed and opened a hidden locker. "That seems pretty useful. I would have never guessed it was there."
"Yeah," she huffed out an awkward laugh, "I don't have to share locker space with my team… it's awesome," she said sarcastically. The first pieces were hung in the locker.
"You don't like the way Cerberus set up everything?" Garrus leaned against a wall at the top of the steps.
"I mean, I guess it is okay, but I miss the old Normandy." She looked at him, "You can sit down, you know," she smiled. She started working on the bottom half of her armor.
Garrus went down the steps and looked at the couch, "I wouldn't want to get it dirty."
"It's really okay," she smiled. "It's going to get dirty eventually," she looked away, realizing her sentence could have the wrong connotation.
He fought the urge to smile, knowing it was normally him who made the awkward comments. "I don't want to overstay my welcome."
Jane hung up the last of her armor. "You can stay as long as you like, but I understand if you don't want to," the tail of her sentence fell a little quiet. She walked past him and sat down on the couch, planting her elbows on her knees and leaning into her hands.
He looked down at her while her gaze was averted and he couldn't help but sense that there was something deeper troubling her; it all reminded him of why he was there: to rebuild a lost friendship. "You need to go see Chakwas."
"Huh?" When she saw him tap his own shoulder she looked down at her own and saw the dried blood. "Oh, shit. I forgot about that."
"I'll go down with you."
"No, it's fine," she got up and went to her desk, pulling out bandages."
"Seriously?" he laughed. "You are that scared of doctors?"
"I just don't want to bother her with stuff like this. I um… I actually heal faster now." She put the supplies on her desk and fumbled with pulling back the material one handed.
"Here," Garrus walked over and tore the fabric easily.
Jane looked up at him as he started working on her wound. She would be lying if that movement hadn't turned her on a little.
"I'm guessing this isn't the first time you have avoided, Chakwas." His eyes stayed fixed on his work.
His words snapped her out of her daydream, "Um…" she cleared her throat, "Yeah. I just, don't really see the point sometimes. I'm busy."
"Or just scared," he didn't wait for her response, "So, you heal faster now?"
"Thanks to the cybernetics I have in me," she said with dread.
He decided not to push the topic. After cleaning her shoulder, he put a little more medi-gel over the area before attaching the bandage.
"Thanks," she whispered as she pulled the fabric back over her shoulder. Swallowing hard, she moved away from him to sit on the couch again.
He began to take off his armor, if she was going to let him hang out, then he would take her up on the offer. "So, you finally got that couch you were talking about."
"Huh?" Jane looked around her, "Oh yeah. I did say that I wanted that before, didn't I? But no one has really been up here at all to hang out. I mean, Joker has been by but mostly I just do paperwork." She looked up and noticed that he was taking off his armor and she smiled in her mind. A part of her sighed in relief knowing that he was willing to be a little less formal with her. When he had everything from his waist up off, she couldn't help but stare for a few seconds.
Garrus finished taking off the last of his armor and picked up the pieces, "Want me to put these out of the way?"
She quickly looked down when his gaze fell on her, "Um, you can put them up by my desk. I shouldn't trip on them if those are up there."
Going up the steps, he stacked his armor in a neat pile but as he stood up, he noticed something hanging on the wall. He leaned in for a closer look and saw a model ship of a turian cruiser. He looked through the cut away overlooking the couch and saw Jane pick up a datapad. Since when did she start collecting models? And why a turian cruiser? Moving back to the couch he sat down on the other end of the couch.
Jane lifted her eyes from the datapad to eye Garrus. She saw him looking at her, set the datapad next to her, folded her hands in her lap and tapped her fingers. The silence hung between them. "So… you said you wanted to talk to me?"
"Oh! Right!" Garrus leaned forward and scratched his fringe, suddenly self-conscious. "Can I just say that I'm sorry?"
"Thank you, but you have already said that today," she smiled when he looked away bashfully.
"I did, didn't I?" he shook his head. "Well, it still stands."
"What's going on with you, Garrus? You've been acting really odd for a while."
"I know. I haven't been myself. Omega kind of did a number on me."
"Garrus, I want to help. You can talk to me."
Garrus waved his hand, "No, I'm fine. I'm more concerned with you. How are you?"
Jane paused, "I'm good," she feigned a smile.
He tilted his head, "Come on, Shepard, you're not even trying." When she smiled for real, he couldn't help but grin. Feeling a little more comfortable, he sat back and stretched his arm out across the top of the couch.
Jane glanced as he stretched out. She had to admit, she liked him in his under suit; the fabric hugged his plates and she could see his muscles move where the plates didn't cover. Quickly looking away, she hid her face. "How many times do I have to tell you to call me 'Jane'?"
He smiled but was wondering why she hid her face from him, Probably because I just caught her lie. "So, what's really going on with you?"
She shrugged, "Things are just so different. I'm not used to anything. I barely know what's happening," she pulled her knee up to her chest. "When I actually stop to think about it… I have a hard time wrapping my head around what happened to me." As she stopped, she looked at him, waiting for him to say something, when he didn't, she decided to continue, "I miss what things used to be. I liked the way the Normandy was before. Sure, this one has a lot of improvements but, I just don't know how I feel about it yet. I miss the crew." She stopped again and looked at the floor, trying to hold in her emotions. "I know we had all mostly separated after Sovereign, but I still felt that we were all pretty close. It still felt like we would be meeting for drinks on the anniversary. But now, everyone seems so closed off. So different," she couldn't help but think about how Tali had looked at her; it still hurt. "But not even the ground crew. Everyone on the Normandy. Everyone that made her the ship she was. But, they're all gone."
Garrus leaned forward. She was out of reach but he didn't move closer, worried it might be a little inappropriate. "I know it's going to be hard adding all those names."
Jane knew he was talking about adding the names to the tattoo that was on her back, but he didn't know that her tattoos were gone; all of them. She gulped back the pain at remembering. Now, even when she wore relaxing clothes, she wore clothing that would cover all the areas that were now bare. "Yeah," she muttered, "I guess I'll need to figure how to work that out now." She didn't know how to deal with that loss.
"Is there something I'm missing?"
She looked at him again and tried to smile, "No, just thinking." When he stayed quiet, she felt the need to keep talking but as she opened her mouth it hit her, "You are staying quiet so I keep talking."
He smiled, "Is it working?"
She looked away and ran her hand over her hair, smoothing down the strands that were escaping her bun. "I really miss John. I only got to see him after Omega. He won't talk about what anything was like since… you know."
Even though it wasn't for his benefit, Garrus was a little thankful she didn't say the words. She may be sitting within a few feet of him, but thinking about those dark days still wounded him.
"I want to reach out to someone, but I can't."
"What makes you think you can't?"
"I can't risk connecting anyone to Cerberus. Even if other organizations don't see the connection, Cerberus might try to use it against me. And I especially can't contact anyone in the Alliance because who knows how the alliance would even take it."
Garrus looked away, knowing who she meant: Kaidan.
"My own mother is included. I know that she and I never got along but she's still my mom."
"I know this sounds a little cliché, but things will get better," Garrus said, "It really hasn't been that long since you got back into things. This situation, working with Cerberus, it won't last forever." She nodded but he could tell she wasn't convinced. Maybe getting off the topic will help. As long as I don't screw things up, there will be more times to talk to her. "So, when did you start collecting model ships?" he nodded his head towards her office.
Jane looked at him a little confused, "Oh! That," well this is embarrassing, "um, yeah, well, I saw it while we were on Omega. I actually got it after we had our little tussle when I sent you back to the ship."
"Ah," Garrus rubbed his fringe and looked away from her, "Yeah, I remember that." He looked up at her, "I'm sorry for the way I reacted. I hope to never make you angry like that again."
"It's ok. Besides, I'm sure you'll do it again."
"I wouldn't put it past me," he chuckled and Jane soon joined in.
When the laughter subsided, Jane stared at Garrus for a moment, debating whether to ask her question. Biting her lip, she decided to try, "Garrus, I hope this won't offend you or bring up a bad memory… but what were you looking for there?"
He looked over at his hand; his dark colored gloves against the couch suddenly became fascinating. How do I explain what I was looking for? That it was a gift for her because I am in love with her? And I got that upset because it was the last thing that I had to remind me of what could have been between us? How do I tell her anything close to that? "It's a little hard to explain that, Jane. Let's just say that it was something that meant a lot to me."
"I'm sorry that it went missing. I wish there was something I could do to help."
"Thank you, but I'll be okay," especially if I can be around you. "So… going back to what we were talking about before… why the turian cruiser?"
Because it reminded me of you, Jane thought sheepishly. "Well, it was the only one they had but I think that it kind of reminded me of my earlier days as a commander and spectre."
"Ah," he said a little disappointed. "You probably did that shop owner a favor. They don't sell that stuff well there."
"Yeah, that's basically what he said," she smiled. She stared into the couch cushion thinking back on that day. "Oh, you know what? I actually got something else from him." Jane stood up and stretched, feeling her back getting a little tense.
At her sudden movement, his eyes followed her. As she stood, she laced her fingers together and reached towards the ceiling. He assumed she was trying to straighten her back but he quickly got distracted. Her under suit clung to her body, hugging every curve. As she stretched, she went onto her toes as her body seemed to elongate. Garrus's eyes looked her up and down and settled on her hips and waist. He swallowed a hard lump building in his throat. She began to settle back down and Garrus realized that time had seemed to slow for him as well as gone too quickly. All he knew for sure was that he liked seeing her in that skintight suit.
"Let me show you that other thing I got from him," Jane said.
"Um," he cleared his throat, "sure." He watched her start to move past him and he leaned out to keep watching as she moved. When he tore his eyes from her hips on her third step, he saw her foot drag slightly.
As she moved towards the steps, Jane felt a slight rush and her eyes started to blur. She hesitated in her step but as she tried to finish it, she felt herself begin to collapse. Before her knees hit the ground, she felt Garrus's arms close around her; one slipping under her left arm, the other around her waist.
"Jane! Are you alright? What happened?" He lifted her easily and set her down on the edge of the bed to crouch in front of her.
"I'm fine," she waved her hand and tapped one of his arms still helping to hold her upright. Of course this would happen right in front of him. "I just stood up too fast is all." She pushed his arms away and stood again. This time, she concentrated on each movement but only made it to the second step before feeling the odd rush again. What the hell is that? It's almost like a weak current of electricity flowing through me, taking whatever energy I have.
Garrus found Jane in his arms once again as she swayed on the steps, "How much sleep have you been getting?" He knew it had been a problem of hers before, though he couldn't be sure that was the cause now. When she didn't answer him, he knew that it wasn't enough. "Using your biotics probably contributed to the exhaustion. I'm taking you down to Chakwas."
"No, no, I'm fine. I just need to sleep it off."
"You're sure? This is the second time you are rejecting me taking you to Chakwas."
"Yeah," she said weakly. "I haven't really gotten used to using my biotics again. It just seems to drain me more."
He took her to the bed and laid her down in the middle and he sat on the edge. "Are your biotics stronger? You were able to take a hell of a blast from Jack before we got off Purgatory." Not to mention everything else.
Jane rubbed her forehead, "Hard to say."
Although Garrus wasn't satisfied with the answer, he decided not to push her. "Please call Chakwas if it is more than exhaustion. Or at the very least, call me."
She smiled at him, "I will."
"Alright, get some sleep." Garrus patted her hand and stood up. He was just about to reach down for his armor when he heard her call out to him.
"Garrus?"
Please ask me to stay with you like you used to… "Yes?"
"I'm still glad you were up here. It's good to have you as a friend again."
"Of course," he nodded, "Get some rest." 'Friend', he was beginning to both love and hate that word.
The commander's cabin was quiet, the only sound coming from the ship's engines below. She had settled for sleeping on her side, after what had seemed like hours of tossing and turning. For now, it seemed like she would finally have a decent night's sleep.
Hours later, a biotic pulse shook the room. Jane whimpered, burying her face in the pillow and clenching the sheets in her fist. Another pulse and the water in the fish tank rippled and the model ship rattled in its holding. She sucked in a breath and her voice seemed to sob as she exhaled. Blue sparks filled the room, attaching themselves to anything that wasn't bolted down: papers, datapads, the holoframe and laptop, the water, model ship, even the armor in her locker, everything began to gently lift as if the gravity had been turned off. The objects hovered, slowly turning in place.
Several minutes passed with the items turning in place, Jane's quickening breath growing louder and filling the room. She began to shake and gripped the covers tighter. Her sobs became louder. Suddenly, she screamed, curling into a fetal position and clutching her chest. A wave of biotic force pulsed out from her, sending all of the raised objects to the walls then crashing to the floor. There were a few seconds of delay before another explosion shook the room as Jane continued to stay trapped in her nightmare.
"Mr. Moreau."
"Mr. Moreau."
Joker pulled his hat over his face a little more, grumbling, "No, Mom… five more minutes."
"I am not your mother. You are dreaming. But Jeff Moreau, I insist you get up this instant."
"I know, EDI! But I don't wanna!"
"It concerns Commander Shepard."
He grumbled a little more but knew it was something that needed attention. "It's two in the morning. Is it another panic attack?" Bringing his chair up, he staggered to his feet and began to make his way to the elevator.
"I am afraid it is more intense than that. All vitals indicate that she is still asleep but I cannot wake her. I should warn you that her biotics are active."
"Shit, must be a pretty intense nightmare. Have you called Chakwas?"
"I have not. Shepard had requested that I only call when absolutely necessary."
"Of course she would," Joker sighed.
The elevator reached the level and Joker made his way out. The door to the cabin opened but Joker had barely taken one step in before Jane's biotics went off again, lifting him off his feet and sending him into the wall behind him. Joker groaned at the pain but before he could dwell on it too much another wave of biotics pushed into him again, causing him to shout in pain. Rolling to the side, he managed to get behind the wall just as he saw another blue wave absorb into the metal.
"EDI!" Joker shouted through his aching body, "Is the ship going to hold up against this?"
"The ship will hold, for now. I managed to redirect some of the ship's shield power inside, but it is only ten percent. If this continues, I cannot guarantee integrity."
"Call Garrus."
"And all my fears creep and crawl across my skin and, These four walls are after me and moving in, And all that I want to do, Is give up, give in, let this one stay where it is, But I don't suppose I will."
Garrus leaned over the console as the song played. At least when he heard her singing, he could pretend that she knew he loved her.
"Because I've kept my heart under control, Oh but lately all this time has taken its toll, Said I tried to but I can't hold back what's deep in my soul, So darling please forgive me, I want you and you'll just have to know."
Why can't I just tell her? Because I am too worried that if she rejects me then she won't want me to be around her? But when she sent me these songs, did she mean that she loved me too? Was that what she was going to tell me when she visited? I should just tell her. Spirits! I don't know what to do! Garrus huffed out a sigh, lifted his head and hit his forehead on the console. He continued to slam his head on the console, hoping he could clear out his mind.
"One of these days I'm gonna find myself a way, I'll find the courage and I'll find the grace, And I'm gonna know just what to say, And you'll walk on up when you want this love, When you've had enough and you've given up."
"Officer Vakarian!" EDI's voice sounded loudly in the room.
The AI's voice took Garrus off guard, and he hit his head a little harder than he meant to and jumped back from the console. "Ah… Yes, EDI?" he rubbed his plates to help dull the pain.
"Mr. Moreau requires your attendance outside Shepard's cabin. Immediately."
Nothing else needed to be said as he went running out of the main battery. Before he even got close to the elevator, he could already hear the doors opening. He stepped inside and the doors closed, "Thanks for having it waiting, EDI."
"You're welcome. I sent it down as soon as Mr. Moreau asked me to call you."
The doors opened but Garrus only took one step out before he stopped. "Joker, what happened?" he kneeled by Joker as his breaths heaved from pain.
"Don't worry about me, I'm fine."
"You don't look fine."
"Oh, you know, I just challenged Jane to a biotic battle. Didn't think it through." He tried to readjust himself but winced. "Look, don't worry about me. Jane is having a nightmare or something and her biotics are going crazy. EDI has shields up for now but if Jane doesn't wake up soon, she could tear the ship apart."
Garrus looked at the door to her cabin and he could hear the thrum of the energy hitting the wall.
"EDI can't wake her up with any sounds and I can't even get in the room. You need to go in and wake her up."
"But, why me?"
"Frankly, you're the only other one she would want to know about this. I would call Chakwas but I don't know if she could get close to wake Jane."
"And we'll need Chakwas for you. EDI, call Chakwas to help Joker. Open the door to Jane's cabin." Garrus watched the blue bleed out of the room and counted to moments between bursts. It wasn't much time, definitely not enough to make it across the room.
Just as a field of blue passed him, he ran inside. His foot hit the top of the stairs as the next wave was coming towards him. Throwing his weight forward, he slid, feet first, down the few steps and dug his talons into the top step to keep him from being sent backwards. As soon as the energy passed him, he pushed himself up and ran to the side of the bed.
"Jane!" he shouted as he reached her but her biotics fired off again anyway, sending him into the wall. He winced and it took him a moment to collect himself. He could hear her sobbing, saw her hands tightly gripping the sheets, the tears streaming down her face. The biotic wave pushed him against the wall again but he had been ready for it. Closing the distance between them again, he slipped his hand into one of hers, "Jane! Please wake up!"
Her biotic energy flowed off of her again, it seemed to burn his muscles but it didn't push him away now that he was attached to its source. With his free hand he placed it on the side of her face, "Jane! It's Garrus. I'm here for you, you're safe!" He leaned in, closing his eyes, and placed his forehead against hers, whispering, "Jane, I love you. I always have and always will." He released her hand and moved his arm under her back lifting her slightly, "Wake up, Jane."
He heard her sobs pause and he pulled away to look at her wide open eyes. He couldn't tell what she was thinking, but he could see the fear and terror in her eyes.
"Garrus?" she whispered before wrapping her arms around him. She continued to cry, unable to stop herself as she buried her face into his neck. "Garrus, why are you here? What happened?"
"You needed me," he wrapped his arms around her, his mandible resting against her soft hair, he heaved a sigh. "Jane, did you hear me?"
"Of course I did, but what do you mean I needed you?"
"No," he half chuckled, "I mean, did you hear what I said before that?"
"But… you didn't say anything before that."
"Under Control" by Parachute is the song that Garrus is listening to, another one from the list that Jane sang for him.