Hello! I hope you have all been well. I don't really have much to say so I will just let you guys read the chapter! Happy holidays to you all! And thank you for reading/following/favoriting and reviewing!

P.S. Since this will need to be addressed at some point in the near future, this story is rated M for a reason. Just keep that in mind. Thanks!

Chapter 41

Jane sighed, stretching her still sore muscles. What did I do to deserve this pain? I wish I could remember it. She wanted to talk to Garrus but she couldn't make herself go down there just yet. It had only been a few hours since they wrapped up everything with Sidonis and got back to the ship. Most of the crew was staying the night on the Citadel so it was almost deserted, for which Jane was thankful. I could go to sleep… but I'm not really that tired. And with the nightmares starting to creep back in my mind I don't really want to. Maybe a few rounds in the gym will help pass the time, she thought.

She changed her clothes and exited her room. While waiting in the elevator, she propped her foot up on the wall to finish tying her shoes. Entering the gym, she made it to the wall and began putting on her gloves before realizing the sound of someone else in the room. She turned to see Garrus finishing a set on the bench press. He moved out from under the bar and met her gaze.

"Sorry," Jane said and she began to remove the gloves she had just finished putting on, "You were in here first, I'll just leave."

"You don't have to. The room is big enough for both of us."

Jane nodded and re-strapped her gloves. Her workout was lost on her now. She didn't know what to do and decided to just start stretching until she could figure out what she had in mind. As she tried to stretch out her arms, she kept stealing glances at Garrus and noticed he was doing the same. Turning her back on him, she stretched her back, taking deep breaths.

He watched her. Despite his frustration with her, he still wanted to talk with her, be with her; in the meantime, he was enjoying the eye candy. She was in tight, black Cerberus tank top and shorts. He winced as she cracked her back but continued to watch when she bent over. Shaking his head, he went back to his workout.

Jane glanced behind herself, unable to resist looking at him. She knew he was mad at her, it was making her uncomfortable. Why did he have to make her feel like this?

"Alright, what is it?"

"What?" she turned around to find Garrus right behind her, making her jump.

"I know you want to talk. I can feel it. I can cut the tension in here with a talon."

"I'm sorry," she shook her head, looking down. "I know you're probably not ready, and I understand that. I'm only in here because I was trying to find something to do to keep myself from pestering you. I was hoping to make it until I could go to sleep and give us both the night to rest before readdressing what happened. But I guess that was a bust…" He looked at her with a hard gaze. "Shit Garrus, stop looking at me like that. I know that you don't want to talk about what happened but please…"

"What else is there to talk about? I didn't kill him, just like you wanted. There is nothing left to say."

"Actually, with everything that happened today, I think there is a lot to talk about."

"No there isn't, Jane! Can we please just drop it?"

"I know that you don't feel it yet but not killing him was the right thing to do." She stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Garrus whipped around, pushing her hand away as he snapped at her. "And how in the hell would you know?!"

"What makes you think you are the only one who has been betrayed?"

"Again, what would you know about it?"

"Because I was betrayed by someone I loved!" She saw the shock on his face, "Or, at least someone I thought I loved…"

Spirits… does she mean me? Garrus hated himself all over again. "Jane… I didn't… I didn't mean to…"

"It was a long time ago. I was in line to be placed in the N7 program."

He stepped back a little, moving around her to lean against the wall.

"Remember that guy who snuck on the ship? You questioned me about who he was, well, I was in training with him. We were close. Over time though, he grew dark, bitter, hateful. We had a mission together, teaming up with turians, asaris, and salarians. He hated the thought of working with them. He tried everything to get us out of it but I refused. I tried to convince him to back out but he didn't want a stranger on the team with me. And he was worried that they would put another alien with me. He barely even trusted another human. Then, during the entire mission, he kept trying to split us up. Trying to separate me from the teams. It was because he sold us out. We were ambushed. Quite a few died by his hand. I was almost one of them." Jane looked up at him, "He approached me some time after. I had a chance to kill him. I really wanted to… but even if I had killed him, yeah it would have solved some issues, but it would have just created more problems. I would have regretted it despite him being a complete evil psychopath. Who knows where we would be. I, for one, don't think I would have finished my N7 training."

"Jane, I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"I didn't expect you to. Or for you to blindly accept my advice. I know you, Garrus. You're just as stubborn and difficult as I am." She walked away, starting to pace. "But… that's not what I wanted to talk to you about."

His mandibles flared in conusion, "Then, what?"

"Some of the things that were said to me today. Harkin. Sidonis. They both said things that didn't make sense."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Dammit, Garrus! Don't give me that shit! Stop trying to hide things from me! Now tell me, what happened last night? And why did Harkin call me 'Red'?"

"I'm not going to," Garrus said as he walked away.

She grabbed his arm pulling him back, "Tell me!"

"You went off the deep end! You ran off the ship, found some drug dealer and got high. It seemed to make you forget. Everything. It was like you wanted to run away from all of it."

She stopped. "Where did I go?"

"It doesn't matter. You don't need to hurt anymore."

"I need you to tell me."

"Can we please move on? I don't want to tell you like this."

"Why won't you talk to me? You keep shutting me out!"

"Because you don't need to know that pain!" he shouted back.

"I can handle pain, Garrus! I have dealt with a lot of pain in both of my lives, especially in this one! I don't need to be protected!"

"Yes, you do! You have faced enough pain and that is exactly why I don't want to tell you. Is it to much to want to spare you from that?"

"And what makes you an expert on my safety? Why do you feel so compelled to protect me from what happens in my life?"

"Because I can't lose you again! I lost you once and I..." he turned from her, walking away and rubbing his fringe.

Jane stopped. Her jaw dropped open. "So… When Sidonis mentioned the human you lost. The pain that they could see you in…"

"Now isn't the time," Garrus tried to push past her towards the door.

"No! Now is the time. You are not putting this off any longer." She grabbed his hand as tears started to build up in her eyes. She didn't exactly know why she was on the verge of crying but she couldn't fight it.

He yanked his hand from hers and took two steps from her before stopping. Garrus could hear her exhale of breath as the pain at his leaving went through her. He stopped, clenching his fists. No matter what he did he would hurt her. Trying to stay away from her to protect her was too much to bear. He turned and saw the pain in her eyes though she tried fruitlessly to fight back the tears. Here he was trying to protect her from pain yet he kept causing it, over and over again. But now he knew what she felt about him and why when he pushed her away it hurt her so much.

Grabbing the wrist he had just freed himself from, he pulled her forward, her feet barely keeping her from stumbling into him. Placing his free hand on the side of her face, he ran his thumb along her cheek to brush a way a tear and slid his fingers through her hair to the back of her head. The moisture in her eyes subsided, clearing in her confusion. He could feel the doubt start to creep into his mind but he pressed his mouth to hers before it could take hold of him.

He kissed her, hard. Probably too harder than what would be pleasant for her. He hoped she would forgive him; he was still new to this. It wasn't long before she gave into him. Relief flooded through him and he shamelessly moved his hand from her wrist to her waist.

Jane met him with a moment of shock before melting into him. She didn't care what brought this on, just that she wanted him badly. And, if she were to go by anything Sidonis had said, Garrus loved her as much as she loved him. The way he pressed his mouth against hers was deliciously rough and the way his talons pricked the back of her head reminded her just how dangerous he could be without those gloves. It thrilled her.

Feeling his gloved hand touch her waist then slide across her back to grip her other side, his forearm now pulling her closer, she moaned. The sound of her pleasure caused Garrus's entire body to tense for a second before releasing. Controlling himself, he realized, may not be a possibility. He could feel her hands starting to roam over him; one found its place on his bicep while the other danced up to his neck. He released their kiss, groaning as he felt her fingernails graze his skin.

Jane's lips found his mouth again, this time she was leading. Her mouth alternated between light, sweet kisses and intense, needy ones. Garrus followed her direction. His fingers played with the edge of her shirt; pulling it, twisting it around his fingers and teasingly slipping a hand under the fabric to feel the tension of her skin as he pressed his hands across her. Moving his other hand along her scalp, he found the band that held her fringe and tugged slightly. When it loosened, he pulled it the rest of the way until it all fell free over her shoulders.

He stroked her cheek once again as he broke their kiss. They both kept their eyes shut as they pressed their foreheads together. Breathing came faster to them, both struggling to keep themselves in check. When Garrus opened his eyes, he saw Jane looking back at him with a penetrating, heated stare. She bit the edge of her lip, letting out a heavy sigh.

That look broke the last of his strength. He growled, sending a shiver of excitement through her as he crushed his mouth against her once more. Garrus flicked his tongue across her lips, requesting entry which she gladly gave to him. She moaned into his mouth and moved her arms to wrap them around his neck. The hand that was on her hip pressed against her, guiding her backwards until she bumped into the wall. He could feel her smile through their kisses and grinned to himself, placing both hands on her waist.

He ran a hand up her side and back down to roam over the curve of her hip and ass. His gloves caught on the fabric of her clothes and he was suddenly intensely aware that he wasn't feeling her skin. Grumbling, he broke their kiss. He didn't want to let go of her, but he couldn't tolerate his gloves anymore. Touching his head to hers for a moment, he could hear and feel her heavy breaths against him. Pulling away slightly, he looked down at his glove and as he moved his other hand from her to undo it, Jane stopped him.

She held his hand with both of hers and looked up at him with a mischievous stare. Undoing the glove, she kept a hand near his wrist and the other on his forearm. Holding his arm still, she leaned forward, taking a finger of his glove between her teeth and pulling it off slowly, maintaining eye contact. Garrus stared, savoring the temptation he was feeling. She took his now bare hand and placed it on her hip, sliding it up her side so his fingers slipped under her shirt at the edge and rested on her waist. Taking his other hand, she repeated the steps with her stare never wavering.

When both of his hands were on her, he kissed her again then moved to her cheek, her jaw, down to her neck. Jane gripped his shoulder, holding him to her and stroking the back of his head and neck with her other hand. She rolled her head back to give him better access as her fingers crept up closer to his fringe. His hand slid under her shirt, making its way up to graze against her breast then following along the strap to her back. When she stroked the sensitive spot on his head, he growled into her neck, squeezing her in his hands.

Feeling his talons press into her skin caused her to make a short gasp before biting her lip and arching her back, pressing her body against his. He grazed his teeth across her neck, down to her collarbone. The movement elicited a shaky breath from her. She tucked her head against his shoulder for a moment before mimicking the torture he had just placed on her while raising her leg and wrapping it around him.

For the first time since their mouths met, words were spoken. "I don't think you know what you are asking for," Garrus whispered into her ear.

"Why don't we give it a go and see if I can handle it?" Jane kissed his neck following onto his mandible. "So, my room or yours?"

Garrus gave her a lingering kiss on her lips before stepping back and smirking at her, "You lead the way."

She smiled at him and took his hand, hurrying towards the door. Stepping through, she turned to give him a kiss before moving towards the elevator. Even if there had been people around, neither of them would have noticed. Jane pulled him into the elevator, where she dropped his hand to step away from him and pressed her back against the metal.

He stared at her as she posed against the wall, her small movements showing off her form. When she motioned with her hand to come to her, he was reminded of the unleashed, seductress side of her he had seen the night before. Approaching her, he saw her shoulders rise and fall with her breaths. He planted his hands on the wall on either side of her, trapping her. She leaned forward, trying to earn herself a kiss but he pulled away. She went for it again but he smirked at her, staying just out of reach. When she whimpered, he smiled, touching his talons to the base of her neck and slowly running down her chest, between her breasts, to her stomach and catching on the waistband of her pants. He saw her hold her breath and started again, his hand moved down over her pants to press against her between her legs. She gasped, closed her eyes, turned her head away and pulled her shoulder up to her cheek.

Garrus placed his hands on her hips, moving down to the outside of her thighs. She opened her eyes, looking like she would devour him. Cupping his hands on her backside, he lifted her up, sliding her along himself. She wrapped her legs and arms around him to help support herself. The door to the elevator opened and Garrus started to walk them out, towards her room, mindful of the height of the doors.

They entered the room and Garrus paused, pinning her to the wall, he felt her grind herself against him as he held her with one arm to try to lock the door, but she was too distracting. He tucked his head against her chest, taking a breath to steady himself and made another attempt at locking the door. Finally, he succeeded. He was about to move towards the bed but she tapped his shoulder, asking to be let down. Reluctantly, he lowered her, but kept her between him and the wall.

"I can't have you falling down the stairs now," she smirked as she slipped off her footwear.

Garrus grinned at her, taking off his boots, "It would take more than that to stop me."

She smiled, "I hope so." Stepping down the stairs, she swayed her hips, keeping her back to Garrus. Grabbing the bottom of her shirt, she pulled it off as she turned to face him. With a smirk, she tossed it at him.

He caught the fabric as he closed the distance between them. Dropping it, he placed his hands on her waist. He stared at her. Long moments of silence passed and when she began to give him a strange look, he finally said what was on his mind. "Jane, I love you." The expression on her face wasn't something he could entirely read but with her answer he knew what it was…

"I love you too, Garrus."

Love. That's what her look said.

First, she reached up and slowly removed his visor, gently setting it on the table at the couch. Returning to him, Jane slid her hands under his shirt before moving back to the outside of it to start taking it off. It was more complicated than a human style since the turian form was so differently shaped and Garrus's hands left her to help. She felt a little sheepish not knowing how to remove his clothing but when he went for her bra it was clear he would need assistance. Neither of them really knew the other species intimately and they both came to realize that however they went forward with their relationship it would be a learning experience.

Garrus gently hooked his talons along the waistband of Jane's pants and slowly slid them off of her. He looked her over and saw yet another piece of undergarments, "Why must you humans wear so many articles of clothing?"

She chuckled, "To build up the anticipation." She went for his pants, accepting his help so she wouldn't have to ruin the moment fumbling with them. Her body was tense. The excitement making her nervous. When he didn't move to remove her last piece, she went to do it herself. He stopped her hands, pulled her closer, wrapping an arm around her as he went in for a kiss. During their touch, she felt his talon run along her back, slipping into the edge of her underwear and slowly start to pull them down. She broke their kiss to exhale a shaky breath. Pressing her body against him, she re-initiated their kiss, the rough texture of his skin and plates sending chills through her.

He squeezed her tightly before moving his hands to lift her up like he had before. His hands wrapped around her thighs, one talon moving exceptionally close to her sex, eliciting a gasp from her. He moved slowly, trying to find the bed without falling over. His plates shifted as his member began to emerge and touched between her legs causing another gasp to escape her. He lowered her gently onto the bed, planting his hands on either side of her and hovered above her.

She looked him up and down, her eyes studying every part of his exposed body. Seeing him looming over her sent chills of anticipation through her. It was difficult not to continue to stare at his male-hood. She really wasn't experienced with other species but comparing it to a human, it was definitely different although the shape looked to be compatible. She didn't know what turians averaged with in size but he was bigger than most humans.

Garrus shifted his weight to one arm so he could run his hand along her side and leaned in for a kiss. He could feel her shake beneath him. Breaking their kiss, he pulled away to look at her. "We don't have to if you don't want. We can do more research to see if this will even work."

Jane blushed, looking away before returning her gaze to him, "I'm sure we aren't the first human – turian couple to exist. Besides," she touched his chest and lightly grazed her fingers over him down to his member, the texture making her mind wander. He closed his eyes at her touch, "I think research would just make us overthink it."

He grumbled, struggling to remain calm and in control. He nipped her neck with his mouth, "Not necessarily," he whispered in her ear. He decided to respond in kind and ran his talons over her stomach down to her femininity, brushing the back of his finger and talon across her. She moaned and tried to arch into his touch but he was already too far away. "I could have been better educated to please you. Better prepared." The movement seemed to be exceptionally exciting for her and he wanted to do more. He wanted to play with her, feel more of what she felt like and what he would be in store for but he was worried about his talons. If he had filed them, he could do so, so much more.

She bit her lip, opening her eyes to look at him. It was too difficult to hold back, she pulled his face to hers, kissing him deeply and with her other hand pulled at his rigid waist. He could feel the pressure on his back at her beckoning and gave in. She brought her knees up, and moved her hand to him to help guide him in. Their groans hovered around them as he penetrated her. He could feel her fingernails digging in-between his plates, his instinct wanting to send him into a frenzy. She was tighter than what he would have thought so he pushed into her slowly, unsure how humans usually copulated or if she would have a bad reaction to him. So far, every response seemed exceptional to both of them.

Jane moaned as he stopped inside her. She was thankful he was giving her time to adjust to him but she couldn't wait to have things continue. He tucked his face against hers and she pressed her cheek against his mandible. To indicate she was ready, she kissed his jaw, moving down to his neck to lightly bite him. He growled, exciting her.

"Don't push me…" he grumbled into her ear.

"Maybe I want to."

He pulled back to look at her, their eyes locking. He slid an arm under her, along her back to grab her shoulder. Pulling out of her, he watched her expression and he reversed his movement. She moaned, her eyes closing. It was difficult for him to stay so slow but focusing on her made it easier. Still, he began to move faster, pushing harder with each thrust. Jane lifted her legs, wrapping them around his waist. Her movement allowed him to go deeper and he groaned and the new angle.

The way he felt inside of her was thrilling, it was so much better than anything she had experienced. She moaned loudly, squeezing her eyes shut and pushing her head back into the pillow. Her hips started to move on their own, moving to meet his hips as he came back down to hers. She could feel his hand on her shoulder tighten its grip, his talons piercing into her. A yelp of pleasure and pain escaped her and she felt him begin to move faster within her, pushing her closer to her peak.

Garrus could feel himself losing his control. Keeping her shoulder in his grip, he used his other hand to run it from her shoulder, over her breast, down her stomach, to finally grab her thigh and give a few harder thrusts. He could feel her legs start to shake as her core started to tighten around him. The sensation was new to him and he moved his hand from her leg to her waist for a better grip. He moved in and out of her, faster and harder, their breaths coming in short gasps and moans growing louder, filling the room.

Jane felt herself flushing, unable to hold on anymore and gave into the delicious rush. Her hands gripped him tighter, holding him as close as she could get him. One of her hands moved up to the back of his neck as she shouted his name.

He growled into her neck before he lightly bit into her shoulder, trying hard not to leave a mark even though it was what he really wanted. His hands tightened their grip on her and she yelped out again causing him to thrust the last few strokes before he lost himself to her.

Garrus released her shoulder from his teeth and rested his face on her chest, hearing her heart race. Her fingers languidly ran over his fringe. He sighed against her, lifting his head and giving her a long, deep kiss. He lifted himself away from her to rest on his side. It was a long few moments and several heavy breaths later when she finally calmed down enough to turn on her side and smiled at him. He smiled back, running his hand up and down her side.

She touched the scarred side of his face, "I love you."

"I love you, too," he smiled at her.

Time passed, neither of them feeling the need to say anything. He felt her calming down and he looked her up and down a low grumble starting in his chest. On the next pass of his hand, he slowed his movement as his talons slid over her hip. Touching the outside of her thigh, he paused, stretching his fingers over her leg and sliding behind her, his fingers parting her legs as he pulled her closer.

Her eyes snapped open, "Garrus!..." she looked at him slightly shocked, her mouth agape. "Really?"

"Only if you want. Turians have… great stamina," he smirked.

She bit her lip, looking up at him through her lashes. Hooking her leg over his hip, she saw him smirk as he pulled her so close they were almost in position again. Placing a hand on his shoulder she pushed him onto his back, and saw the confused look on his face. "I do want to…" she leaned closer to him and licked up his neck to nip at his mandible. In a swift motion, she pushed herself up and straddled him. "But, this time… it's my turn."

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! It was my first time writing smut so I hope it wasn't too terrible. Either way, thanks for reading!