Wow, I have to say you guys are the best readers ever. I had hoped it would be a warm welcome back but your messages and comments made me feel better than I have in a long time. I decided to add in another small author's not for those that do read these things. But I just want to say thank you again from the bottom of my heart for your support. I love you guys. As always, thank you for reading, following, favoriting and reviewing.
Chapter 57
"Do I need to repeat myself?" Hannah asked sharply.
"Come on, Mom," John said coolly. "Why are you here? What is this about?"
Hannah's jaw clenched. "Don't play dumb with me, John. Now, where can we talk this over? I don't have all night."
Jane lifted her head; the others could see the commander side was making herself known. "I think in the conference room would be best."
Tali watched Jane lead the way with her mother behind her and Garrus following after that. John moved as if to follow as well but he stepped in front of her.
"You don't have to be a part of this – if you don't want."
"But your mother said all of us."
John hung his head. "I know but this is mostly centering around Jane. I'm her next target. I don't think she will say much to Garrus and… you have no obligation to be there if you don't want."
She couldn't be sure if she was imagining it but she almost thought he had a deeper meaning under his words. Would he judge her based on her answer? Would it be better if she heard what happened second hand? Did she want to make an attempt at facing his mother? No more doubting yourself, Tali! She told herself. "No, I'll come," she said and moved around him to catch up to Garrus.
John watched after her, unable to stop the half smile that crept onto his face. No, he scolded himself, don't get your hopes up. Stay level headed.
As Jane entered the conference room, EDI appeared, "After this communication I will disconnect myself from this room until you exit. Mr. Moreau has control of my systems."
"Thank you, EDI," Jane moved to the right of the room, no more than halfway down.
Hannah stopped at the end of the table and watched as Garrus came into the room to stand next to Jane. She could hear an unusual gate behind her and held her hand out. "Sorry, dear," she said to Tali, "but would you and John mind standing to the other side of the room?"
Tali hesitated and looked to John for help, who huffed out his annoyance but nodded. He knew that his mother was trying to separate him and Jane so they couldn't be as unified against her.
No one bothered to take a seat and Hannah didn't request them to either. The mother Shepard was the first to speak, "I suppose I will start since I showed up unannounced." She heard John scoff but chose to ignore it. "I would like to know why you thought it wasn't important to tell me about such a," she paused looking at Jane and Garrus, "development in your life. I would also like it explained to me why I had to hear about this from my crew whispering about it in hushed voices until I saw the video that Jilani released." She took a deep breath. "Jane, what were you thinking?"
"Excuse me?" John gave his mother a quizzical look. "What the hell do you mean 'what she was thinking'? There is no fault on her."
Jane waved John down, "John, leave it alone."
"No, Jane, this is ridiculous."
Hannah turned her gaze to her son, "As much as I love that you want to protect your sister now. I want to hear the truth."
The slight change in Hannah's voice was not lost on Jane, "What is that supposed to mean? What do you mean by 'now'?"
"Jane, this is not the time. Do not change the subject."
"You know what it means, Jane," John said. "She blames me for your death and thinks I should have sacrificed myself for you. She wanted the better child to live."
"I never said that, John. You do have such a tendency to be dramatic."
"Mom, how could you?" Jane exhaled.
"I am not the bad guy here!"
Garrus and Tali shared a look. They knew the interaction would be uncomfortable but this wasn't even the problem they thought would arise.
Hannah smacked a hand on the table, "Enough. Tell me. What is your relationship to one another?"
Jane held her head high, emboldened by the fact that she was now not defending just herself but Garrus as well. She was willing to take a lot of abuse from her mother but she wouldn't tolerate Garrus receiving that treatment. "Garrus and I are dating. In a relationship. My boyfriend. My significant other. Whichever way you want to define it."
Hannah's mouth was set in a firm line. "And how long have you two been together."
"A month, Captain," Garrus spoke up. He didn't want Jane to be the only one taking the brunt of her mother's anger.
"A month? That is pretty early to be exposed already. Did you even make an attempt at being discrete?"
"With all due respect, Captain," Garrus spoke again, "Jane isn't the average person. She was presumed dead for two years and then suddenly she was back. All eyes are on her. And frankly, the reporter that saw us has always had it out for Jane."
Jane, John, and Tali looked at Garrus wide-eyed. Hannah stared him down.
"And what makes you think that your relationship with my daughter is a good thing? Have you thought about what this will do to her reputation? Her future? The fact that she won't have a family of her own?"
"Who's to say that our relationship isn't exactly what is needed? Not only for us but for those who see our relationship?" Jane snapped at her mother. She was used to the beratement her mother gave her but she would not stand by while her mother belittled the man she loved. "There is still a lot of animosity between humans and turians and we are much more similar than most would acknowledge. And you saying that this relationship would hurt my future is bullshit. It hurts the future you had in mind for me. I'm already a Spectre. What else should I be striving for? Elevation in the Alliance? I don't care about that. And, elevating in the Alliance would only tarnish my Spectre ranking and tell the council and other species that they should think twice before appointing another human Spectre." Jane couldn't stop herself, the words spewed out of her. "What does your definition of family really mean? A family is much more than birthing my own spawn. A family doesn't mean kids and if we really wanted kids there are options. Family is more than flesh and blood. And honestly, I choose my crew as my family. Garrus makes me feel like I have a reason to be in the universe for more than sacrificing myself to save others. He cares about me and I care about him. He understands me like no one else does. I love him!"
Hannah and Jane stared at each other; neither showing signs of backing down.
"This sounds like something that has been going on much longer than a month," Hannah said in an eerily calm voice.
"We have only made it official for a month," Garrus answered. "But we have cared for each other much longer than that."
The parent Shepard held Garrus's gaze. His sincerity had surprised her. There were questions she wanted to keep asking but she thought she should give them a chance to answer them privately. Turning her attention on John she said, "Was it your recommendation to keep this from me?"
John scoffed but before he could answer Jane responded for him, "John didn't know. We kept this from everyone."
Hannah looked at her daughter again, "Except the press."
Tali surprised even herself when she spoke up, "Excuse me but you can hardly call Jilani the press. She is a rabid varren and willing to spin everything into its opposite if it means getting the narrative she wants."
Hannah turned on Tali, "Is there a relationship between you and my son that I should know about too before that gets spread over the extranet?" She looked between her kids, "Are you both that determined to kill off the Shepard name?"
"Don't you dare bring either of them into this," John snapped, "Even if Tali and I were together, shouldn't you just be happy that your kids found someone that makes them feel like there is something good in this galaxy?"
"Maybe I could be happy for you both if information like this wasn't sprung on me like I was just someone else following your story through social speculation." She took a deep breath. "John, please, you have already played with the Shepard name enough. Not only in your own actions but by getting Jane wrapped up in this as well."
"What are you talking about? Cerberus did us a favor by bringing Jane back. She is probably the only one who can complete this mission and save literally everyone in the galaxy," John snapped.
"But what if Cerberus starts to blackmail her? Get her so wrapped up in their projects that she can't escape. Or what if she only feels indebted to them and they hold that above her?" Hannah calmly held her son's gaze.
Jane snapped, "You know I am here in this room, right? So please stop talking about me like I am still dead."
The room fell silent, John was hanging his head as Hannah lightly tapped her fingers against her elbow. "John, Tali'Zorah," Hannah said, "please let me speak to Jane and Mr. Vakarian alone for a moment."
John stood still, staring at his mother until he heard Jane say his name. Looking at his sister, she nodded and tipped her head towards the door. He didn't like it but seeing Jane argue with their mother was priceless to him; he wished he could stay and witness it.
Once the three of them were alone, Hannah took a seat and motioned for Jane and Garrus to do the same. She folded her hands in front of her and waited until they were settled before speaking, "What are your intentions?"
Garrus cleared his throat. Suddenly, it felt different sitting in the room alone with two Shepards. He faltered, "Uh… we haven't talked about it yet."
"I'm not asking what you have talked about. I am asking what your intentions are. You say you have cared for my daughter for a long time. How long is a 'long time' to you?"
He saw Jane bite her lip, holding herself back from arguing with her mother. "I have cared for Jane since the first Normandy. I couldn't tell you exactly when but… our friendship turned into something more. I was waiting to tell her how I had been feeling during her first leave after the new assignment after the attack on the Citadel. But… that didn't work out." When Hannah didn't say anything he knew she meant for him to finish answering her previous question. "I love her as much as a turian can love anyone and would follow her anywhere." He hoped that would answer her question fully without him having to explain what that meant. Her expression surprised him though. It made him wonder if she knew what his phrasing really meant.
Jane watched her mother's look change from stern to shock to overwhelmed. She looked over at but he didn't look at her.
Hannah looked between the two of them. Clearing her throat she attempted to regain her composure. "And, Jane, I thought there had been something between you and Alenko. And what about that man from the gala, Leng?" She noticed Garrus's expression change at the mention of the lieutenant and the turian's entire body stiffened at the mention of Leng.
Jane sighed, "There was nothing between Kaidan and myself, ever. There is nothing wrong with him but I knew we wouldn't match. And lately he has not even acted like a friend would." Before Jane could finish her thoughts, Hannah interrupted her.
"I'm sure it takes some adjusting to you being back. Maybe Alenko was having a hard time seeing you again and it was jarring enough to make him act unlike himself."
Jane was tired of her mother not listening, "Garrus wasn't even remotely like that and we found him in pretty much a 'no way out' scenario. Kaidan had chances to be a friend but he kept reverting to being an asshole. Still does." She waited for her mother to keep arguing but instead, she motioned for her to continue, "Leng is – truthfully – an ex. An abusive ex at that. He was in the N7 program with me and turned on our team during training. He killed a few people and although I don't think he would have killed me, he did injure me. Haven't you ever wondered why those missions during my N7 training were so highly classified?"
The captain leaned back in her chair, covering her mouth losing more of her composure at her daughter's story and now understanding Vakarian's reaction. She felt sickened that she had encouraged her daughter to interact with that man. Why hadn't her daughter told her any of this? She was starting to realize that she didn't know as much about her daughter as she once thought. "But with Alenko – "
"I'm guessing that he wasn't completely forthcoming with how he acted to Jane, has he?" Garrus spoke up, leaning forward slightly. Before she answered he continued, "He accused her of not having emotions. That she had turned her back on everyone. I'm not saying that I'm a saint by any means. I have very dark moments in my past but at least I am loyal and can see that in everything Jane does, she is putting someone else first. She is self-sacrificing to a fault; and I mean that literally because she did die to save her crew. Her best friend. Her brother. The few times she will do something for herself, she has my support."
Hannah shook her head, "I don't think either of you know what kind of repercussions are in store for you. This is a very delicate situation."
"And it is this kind of closed-minded behavior that kept humans from progressing for so long in our history," Jane sat still, her mind resolute and firm in standing against her mother.
"You can't change the populace's mind overnight, Jane."
"But I know we have the resilience to face the hatred now so others in the future won't have to fight."
Hannah set her mouth in a hard line. She could see that neither of them would be budging on this; unfortunately it seemed like Jane had inherited that trait from her. "What about you, Vakarian? Have you told your parents yet?"
"No, Captain. But turians don't often update family on relationships. If Jane and I were to progress, that is when I would be telling them."
"Hmmph," Hannah stood. "Very well. My ship leaves tomorrow. No matter what my opinion is, I hope the best for both of you. Jane, walk me out, please."
Jane thought about denying her mother the escort but could tell this was the final part of her visit. First, it was the conversation with the group, then her and Garrus, now it would be a one on one and her mother's final chance to try to convince her she was making a mistake. She stood, Garrus standing with her, and walked to the door. When she didn't hear following footsteps, she turned to see her mother saying something inaudible to Garrus.
Soon, Hannah followed her daughter out of the room and onto the walkway outside the ship. Checking for company, the older Shepard asked, "When did you become so reckless?"
"You act like I am some sort of renegade! I always try to do the right thing. I don't think loving Garrus is reckless."
"Of course it is! Don't be so naive! A human and a turian? Jane, come on, you're smarter than that. The biology isn't there. Levo, Dextro, have you forgotten? Not only can you get sick but he can seriously hurt you if you aren't careful. Even putting that aside, your future prospects will be ruined because of this; both in your career and any future relationships. You will be the laughing stock of the universe. Humans and other races will turn on the two of you."
"Or they won't. The universe and the beings in it are not as terrible as you expect them to be."
"I know this isn't the life you originally pictured for yourself but you can't deny you were made for it! You could just make the most of it. How could you go against everything we planned?"
"What was OUR plan, Mom?! It was always your plan! I am making the most of this life. What is it that you want from me? Excelling through the ranks of the Alliance, married to another biotic to pop out more little biotics? How many grandchildren did you expect from me? Three? Four? Here's the thing, Mom. I hate my biotics. I hate that I was forced into the Alliance and couldn't live the life that I wanted. I would have loved to have kids but I don't think I can sentence them to a life of either joining the Alliance or being watched for the rest of their lives. Because that is the only way humans know how to treat biotics."
"And this turian is your way out of that?"
Jane huffed out a laugh, "That is what you take away from everything we have told you? I love Garrus," Jane sighed, "I have loved him for longer than I realized. I was brought back for a god-damn suicide mission and I had accepted that until I realized I had something with him. For once I really want to make something out of this shitty hand I have been dealt. I want a future with him."
Hannah crossed her arms, "Do you even realize that you will ruin that turian's life? He will be destroyed when you leave him."
"What makes you think that I will leave him?"
She scoffed, "I know it won't be him. You don't even know what you have gotten into with a turian."
"I think we'll be fine."
"Don't come to me expecting advice when this all goes south. I tried to warn you."
"Most moms would be happy for their kids when they find their match. Dad would be happy for us; it wouldn't matter they Garrus and Tali aren't human."
Hannah lifted her head to stare her daughter down. She had come too far to concede defeat and backtrack on her words, but she couldn't deny that Jane was right about her father. "Stay safe, Jane. I don't want to lose you twice." Without another word she turned and headed towards the elevator, never turning back to look at her daughter. When the doors shut behind her, she took a deep breath and fought the tears that brimmed. Wiping her eyes briskly, she shook her head to recompose herself. She only ever wanted what was best for her kids, how did it always come out so wrong?
Jane exhaled, unsure when she had started holding her breath during their conversation. Her eyes teared up but nothing fell, to her relief. Walking back onto the ship, she hesitated in the air lock; taking a deep breath to try and wrap her head around what just happened.
"Um… Jane? Is that you?"
"Yeah. Hey, Joker," Jane sighed as she made her way to the cockpit and leaned against the doorway.
"Jane, I am so sorry. I let her on board and she asked to speak with you but seemed so calm! I had no idea it was about that. When I told her I would call you she said no and then she started watching me like a hawk and every time I tried to message you she caught me! I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I should have called you as soon as she requested entry."
"It's really okay. You don't have to apologize."
"I know, but," he hung his head, "I'm still so sorry… she scares me."
"Yeah, she kind of scares me too," a voice said from behind Jane.
Jane turned to see Garrus; she gave a half smile.
"You okay?" the turian asked.
"I will be. What about you?"
"I'm good. It could have gone worse."
"Worse?" she asked.
"Yeah," Garrus grinned. "She could have shot me."
Joker piped up, "I think she noticed your face and realized the gangs – and her son – already got there."
Garrus ran a hand over his scarred face, "Yeah, you have a point there."
"Jane," Joker said quietly, "can I do anything for you?"
"Really, Joker, you're fine. Stop stressing," she reached over and pulled the brim of his hat down further. He grinned and nodded but didn't say anything. Jane could tell her best friend still wasn't quite feeling like himself, "Hey, Joker, you free tomorrow?"
"Um, I guess?"
EDI's interface blinked on, "Mr. Moreau is certainly free. He doesn't have much of a social life."
"Wow," he looked at the blue light, "that was rude. You need to learn some manners. I still have feelings."
Jane laughed, "Well since you are so free, how about you and me get lunch tomorrow? Hang out more like old times."
Joker smirked, "A lot has changed since the 'old times' but yeah. Sounds good."
"Alright, see ya tomorrow. I think I'm going to relax for a bit and turn in early."
EDI chimed in, "John and Tali'Zorah are waiting for you in your quarters."
"Thanks, EDI."
Jane felt Garrus's talons lightly graze her back as they walked towards the elevator. Once the doors closed he closed the little distance he had left between them and wrapped her in a hug. She melted into him but in doing so it threatened to bring out her tears. Now wasn't the time; she had to wait until she was alone, or at least just her and Garrus. Taking a deep breath she stepped away from their hug.
"You sure you're going to be okay?" Garrus asked. "Did she say something else when you were alone with her?"
"I'll tell you after we talk to John and Tali."
"She told me something too," Garrus said.
Jane could tell that it wasn't good; he looked pained but also angry. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want." When it looked like he was going to blurt it out, she put her hand over his mouth plates, "Or you can tell me after this. It can wait."
The elevator door opened to John and Tali waiting for them. John took in their positioning and how they were interacting. God I feel like an asshole now, he thought to himself. In just that simple posture, he could see how much they loved each other.
Jane stepped away and turned to her brother, "You okay, John?"
"Yeah, you know I am," he pulled her into a hug, "I'm sure you've been telling people you are too but, are you sure about that?"
Shepard nodded. Breaking from John she looked back at Tali, "What about you, Tali? I wish that hadn't been your first real interaction with our mother. You know excluding when you met back on the first Normandy."
"Oh, please," Tali tried to make it appear as if she had brushed off the incident, "I was barely involved. More like an insect on the wall witnessing everything."
Jane motioned for them to go into her room. When they had filed in, they took spots along the couch. Jane and John sat on the inside, Tali next to John, and Garrus beside Jane.
"So, um..." John started, "I guess we could start with a HOLY SHIT JANE YOU JUST TALKED BACK TO MOM!" He made a motion with his hands as if his head were exploding, "I mean, you haven't done that since… when?"
"Since before my biotics showed up."
"Yeah, that sounds about right." He looked between Garrus and Tali, "Don't get us wrong, Jane has done her small quiet rebellions like the long hair and the tattoos but hasn't outright argued with our mom." Once the words were out he realized his mistake. "Oh, sorry," he whispered.
"It's okay," Jane said quietly. "I didn't expect her to act like that. I knew she would be surprised but… this was something else. I really didn't want to leave things like that with her considering our current mission. I could die and those would be our last words to each other."
"You're not going to die in this mission," John said. "We won't let that happen."
Jane waved at John and Tali as they left her room. Garrus waited at the door to lock it as she stood near her bed, her arms crossed tightly over her stomach; she felt sick as her worry finally had the time to creep into her mind. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even hear Garrus speaking to her. Before he reached her, she fell to the floor, unable to catch her breath as sobs wracked her body.
"Jane!" Garrus closed the distance between them and sat next to her. Pulling her to him she quickly wrapped her arms around him and pressed her face against his carapace. Stroking her hair, he crooned softly to her, unsure if she could even hear it. Eventually, she calmed down, her sobs slowly fading into tiny sniffles. "It's okay, just talk to me."
Jane didn't move from her spot as she spoke, "How could she say those things? I figured it would take some adjusting for her because she did have my life planned out in her mind but I didn't think she would say such bigoted things."
"What was her plan for you?"
She wiped away a few tears, "I don't think she even knew fully but I know she wanted me to be a high-ranking Alliance officer; possibly even Admiral. She wanted me to marry another Alliance officer, preferably biotic, so our kids could be biotic prodigies or something." Taking a deep breath she wiped a few more tears away and leaned back to look at him.
"What else did she say when you were alone?"
"She called me reckless and naive. That turians and humans can't be together for a number of reasons, mainly that is dangerous but also… Well, just more of how it will ruin my future. She implied that we wouldn't last and that I didn't know what I was getting into with a turian and that… that I would ruin your life."
Garrus shook his head. He wouldn't tell her but this altercation with her mother really made him start to hate the woman.
"What did she tell you?"
Now he didn't want to tell her. "She said that she knew what a turian relationship would mean and that my answer to her about how long I cared for you told her where I stood. And…" he took a deep breath, there was no way to put this lightly, "She said that loving you would destroy me." He hated telling her now; it was like she had been stabbed through the chest, "Jane, I should tell you why she said that. Or at least, in part why she would say something like that."
"What could possibly explain that?" she scoffed.
"I didn't want to tell you right away because I didn't want to pressure you. But you should know something about turians that not many realize." Taking her hands in his he looked at her as she stared intently back, "There is a reason there is almost no such thing as divorce amongst turians. The best way to explain it in human terms is that we very much believe in soul mates. We date and can be promiscuous but we can develop a certain kind of bond with someone. If it is reciprocated, then it is a mutual agreement to be each other's mate. Being someone's mate is kind of like a spouse for humans but they tend to become our last love. Only in extreme and rare cases can a turian ever learn to love someone else, typically if one dies early in the relationship." He tried to read her expression but was, surprisingly, unsure what she was thinking. "Jane?"
He wasn't sure what to expect. Annoyance that he hadn't told her sooner? Fear at what their relationship would now mean. Would she tell him to get out? The very last thing he would have guessed happened: she laughed.
"What the spirits is so funny?"
"I'm sorry," she said between laughs. "It's just that we're somehow great and horrible at communication." She continued to chuckle before taking a deep breath, "I have kind of a confession to make. This isn't exactly news to me, Garrus. When things really started taking off between us, I looked up information on turians. You're right, not many people know about it and I think not many turians like to share that about their culture but I was able to find out about it." She moved, putting a leg over one of his so she could get closer. "I may not be ready to make that commitment yet, but," she kissed him deeply and when they parted, pressed her forehead against his, "I can see myself getting there with you."
Garrus sighed, "You really mean that?"
"Absolutely."
"Then I have a request… well, two actually."
"Of course. Anything."
"I need you to get a better translator."
Somehow, it wasn't what she was expecting, "Huh? Why?"
"Your human hearing isn't capable of picking up most of what turians say. A lot of our emotions, tone, and even parts of our conversation are in our subharmonics. I don't expect you to fully learn it because some of it is hard to put into words."
"Hence the subharmonics," she grinned.
"Don't be a smartass," he laughed. "But I'll teach you what I can."
She smiked, "You realize you're basically asking me to get hearing aids. It's making me feel old."
"Technically I'm older than you now."
"Huh… well played… But yeah. I am totally on board with updating my translator," she ran her fingers along one of his mandibles, "And the other request?"
"When all of this is over and we complete our mission perfectly and everyone lives. If you think we are still on that path… I want you to meet my parents."
You guys, in a way, encouraged me to try a project that I haven't in a very long time. National Novel Writing Month is this month and to get back into writing I am using Familial Ties and another story to help me reach that 50,000 word goal. So, I'll be doing a lot of writing and hopefully getting ahead in this story so that I can keep giving you guys regular updates. Currently, I'm on target but it is still early.
The other bit that I wanted to share is another reason for why I stayed away from writing this story over the past year. I have kept most of this to myself but maybe writing about it in the anonymity of the internet will help me open up to those in my real life. I recently got out of a very unhealthy relationship that was the better part of this past year and the last few months I have spent mentally healing. I tried picking this story back up during my relationship but I couldn't; not only because I had felt like I spent so much time away from all of you and the story but the few times I attempted to write I couldn't find the inspiration to write about such a happy couple when I was so miserable. I won't bore you with the details just that I am getting better and getting back into the activities I love.
Again, thank you all for the encouraging messages and comments.