Chapter 7 – The Coffee
Jerry peered through the open door of the busy Empress Coffee House, his nose wiggling in ecstasy as he inhaled the delectable smell of every brew under the sun with a side of fresh pastries. Among the patrons he spotted a flash of violet over grey-white fur near the front of the line and knew he was in the right place.
He lingered near the entrance, squeezing his hands during the seemingly eternal wait as Cleo put in her order and eventually received it. Once the snow leopard strode away from the counter, coffee in her right hand and purse tucked into the crook of her left arm, Jerry felt a dire compulsion in his legs that catapulted him in Cleo's direction. Before he knew it, he was barreling toward her at a speed that nearly guaranteed a disastrous collision.
"I swear I'm not a pervert!" Jerry cried, skidding to a halt.
Cleo teetered, catching herself before she could stumble over the smaller feline. "Jerry!? What on Earth would possess you to start a conversation like that? And how did you find me?"
"I remember Mr. Crystal saying you were a freak of nature that only drinks coffee from Empress Coffee House." Jerry grinned sheepishly, realizing his folly. "He said 'freak' quite affectionately."
Cleo pursed her lips. "I'm sure he did." She pointed a thumb to a quiet corner of the coffee house where a small, polished table of wood was nestled between a wide window and a brick wall the color of bleached hazelnut.
They sat down on the vinyl seats and Jerry waited for Cleo to get settled with her purse and coffee before he rewound the conversation.
"I swear I'm not a pervert!"
"You really need to elaborate or stop saying that."
"I really messed up with Mr. Crystal. Maybe beyond repair."
A hint of sourness wrinkled Cleo's nose, as if she were disappointed that she could be surprised another impromptu meeting with Jerry would inevitably turn to Jimmy Crystal.
"What did he do?" she asked.
"Not him, me. I messed up." Jerry pulled at his collar, eyes sweeping the coffee house. His voice dropped to a whisper. "I... kissed him."
Cleo dropped the paper cup back onto the table before ever sipping it. "Oh. Oh, that's juicy. You should've led with that." Jerry felt her reading the anguish on his face. "I'm guessing that didn't go so well."
"He threw me out of the house. Not literally!" he added, seeing her shock.
Jerry regretted not getting his own coffee, if not to settle his nerves, then as an excuse to sip it now and then to break up the awkward silence, the anxious idleness that came between tackling such a strange subject. Why was he talking about this? And to her of all people? He never hated Cleo as a person, but he did resent her all those years ago for having what he never could with Jimmy.
His train of thought was broken when the coffee cup slid into his field of vision.
"I think you need this more than I do."
Jerry wanted to do the polite thing and refuse, but who was he kidding? He gripped the cup with both hands and took a sip, letting the piping hot liquid with traces of cinnamon and milk roll down his gullet.
"I'm going to need you tell me exactly what happened between you two," Cleo said, "and don't leave out one juicy morsel."
Throat still burning, Jerry felt refreshed, as if the coffee made way for the words he needed to say.
"After the Hornsby brothers and I escaped security with Mr. Crystal's art from the Crystal Entertainment storage warehouse—that story is a bit of a detour, don't worry about it—my attempt to cheer him up didn't work. You were right about the alcohol. He was drowning in a bottle of bourbon and turning into a shadow of himself. I knew I had to get that bottle out of his hands, so I took a chance and cooked a quick dinner for him."
"Did you do his laundry too?" Cleo interjected with a sneer.
"I would if he asked."
"That was a rhetorical... you know what? Go on."
Jerry's whiskers twitched, the sign of annoyance that he quite understood the snow leopard's tone and chose to let it slide. "He loved the meal. After that we watched a movie for a while. It was a simple but intimate moment... you know one of those moments where you can enjoy each other's company without saying a word." He wore a grimace like he was in physical pain thinking about what came next. "He was so close... he said he didn't know what he'd do without me. He was right there... so I moved in and kissed him. He didn't lean into it, but he didn't pull away either. I thought it was magical, but afterwards I could tell... I could just tell I messed everything up.
"You have to understand!" he pleaded. "I'm not a pervert! I'm not the type of guy to force myself on someone else! I thought we were sharing a moment!"
Cleo's throat rumbled with an understanding hum. "I don't think you're a pervert at all. I can see why you kissed him when you did. What happened since then?"
"I'm still his assistant, so I showed up for work at his home the next day and every day since then. He only acknowledges me when it's absolutely necessary, otherwise it's just a constant cold shoulder."
"Typical narcissist. What happened here is simple: you spooked him. Let me explain. Date night, casual sex, things like that are easy for Jimmy," Cleo said, and Jerry felt his cheeks go up like a three-alarm fire. "It's that really deep, emotional connection... love, that's what scares him. You have to open the most vulnerable parts of your soul to make that connection. I guess that scares everyone, with good reason."
"He should know that I'd never ever do anything to hurt him."
"Well, the trust issues are his to work out, and only he will let you know if he's ready. Besides, we both know he's a control freak. You making the first move threw him off. You have to wait for him to be comfortable and work out his feelings. He'll kiss you."
Jerry hung on that thought before asking, "Is that what happened between you two?"
"Oh, yeah," Cleo admitted. A faint smile traced her lips. "It was out of the blue. He swept me off my feet and planted one on me. I never saw it coming."
Again, Jerry paused, his next question one he only dared to ask out of necessity. "What happens if he never reciprocates?"
"Then you've got confirmation that he's not worth your time. You can move on and find someone that will love you back."
"But you're the one that told me to go and get him in the first place!" he shouted, slapping the table. Jerry sank into his chair when he noticed all the curious glances from the other patrons in the shop.
"That pitiful little pining routine you were doing wasn't going to get you anywhere. How long have you had feelings for him?"
"Since the day I laid eyes on him," Jerry said without hesitation.
"If this were about anyone else, I'd consider that romantic," Cleo remarked. "At your old pace, nothing was going to change for either of you."
"I guess you have a point."
"What do you even see in him?"
Jerry took another swig of coffee. It had cooled off a bit but was still hot enough to shock his throat into saying what he needed to. "It's his power. I don't mean literally like his clout and money. It's the sheer force of will radiating off him. He can command a room by walking into it. He can silence dissenters with a look. He built a media empire and raised a daughter even after his wife died. I honestly think there's nothing in this world he couldn't do if he really wanted to do it. I'm a weak-minded loser in comparison. We both agree he could have handled the Moon situation better, but he did handle it. If that were me in his shoes, if I found out I signed a very public multi-million-dollar deal with a scam artist that had nothing to show for it, I'd be paralyzed with fear. How do you recover from something like that? The board of directors would've dropped the hammer on me. Moon might've stolen the company right out from under me. But Mr. Crystal, he fought back. He didn't win that battle against Moon, but he never stopped fighting. He made it clear he wasn't going to tolerate what Moon was doing to him. Me, on the other hand? I've been a doormat for as long as I can remember.
"I guess that's a really roundabout way of saying he's the manifestation of everything I wish I could be, and it doesn't hurt that's he's hot too." Jerry focused on the table, letting out a shy giggle. When he looked back up, he realized how intently Cleo was watching him, hanging onto his every word. It made him shift in discomfort before had a realization. "Wait a minute... why am I the only one bearing my soul here? You've dated him. You know what that's like. What did you see in him?"
Cleo jerked back in surprise, as if she forgot she was an active participant in the conversation. "I guess that's a fair question. To be honest, my reasons aren't all that different from yours. Jimmy has a strong pull around him. He sucks you into his world and leaves you intrigued about all the things he's accomplished, all the things he will go on accomplish, and... all the things he's not telling you. I first met him a couple of years after Mercy died. We had a few flings over the years, but the next time we met up, I'd had Taiga by then. Becoming a parent changes you and forces you to grow. We started dating seriously, and I was looking for more than a good time. I wanted something steady and long lasting."
Jerry's jaw dropped with a sharp gasp so loud he clasped both hands over his mouth to contain it. "Did you... want to marry him?"
"We didn't talk about marriage, but I considered it. I liked the thought of settling down, of Jimmy being a real father to Taiga. But everyone has a dark side, and Jimmy's was winning. I walked away from him. It hurt him. It hurt me to do it. But I had to."
"God, I'm such a loser. If you couldn't make it work with him, what hope do I have? I'm not in his league. What do I have to offer? Why would he waste his time and take a chance on me?"
With a quick sigh, Cleo shut her eyes and held them like that for a while. She opened them again and said, "If you believe that, your relationship is already doomed. You shouldn't put yourself down like that, for Jimmy or anyone else. You're making him out to be this unscalable, sacred mountain that's impossible to climb. The truth is, Jerry... and this is my honest opinion... he'd be lucky to have someone like you. Never go into a relationship thinking you're some lesser half with nothing to offer. You have value. You have worth. For a relationship to work, you have to know that. And so does he."
Jerry held his blushing cheeks. "Oh my gosh... no one's ever really said anything like that to me before." He reached for the cup and was disappointed to find he drank all the coffee during the course of the conversation.
"Need another one?" Cleo asked. Jerry nodded. "I could use one myself."
Cleo and Jerry left Empress Coffee House with two fresh cups and a better understanding of one another. They strolled the block, passing several shops along the way while cars puttered down the street.
"I want to expand on what I said earlier, if you don't mind," Cleo said. They stopped under a palm tree, its fronds dancing lazily against the balmy breeze. The curious glint in Jerry's eye compelled her to go on. "I should have said this a while back, when you first made it clear that this wasn't just a crush and you were seriously pursuing Jimmy... he's a very intense guy. It's his world and we just orbit him. Just remember not to lose yourself in him. Your happiness matters too."
"Thank you for listening to me," Jerry murmured. "I don't have many people in my life I can talk to about stuff like this. Before now, I was mostly suffering in silence. It's not like I could talk to Mr. Crystal about himself."
"You're welcome. Speaking of Mr. Redshore City, it's not like you to be separated from him this long. Where is he?"
"Oh, he's having his first session with his new therapist. The one you recommended." Cleo's brows went sky high. Jerry wondered if Jimmy would be annoyed or amused by her reaction. "I know it's selfish of me to think this, but I hope whatever help he gets there makes him more open to us. Things are so uncomfortable between us right now thanks to me. To keep the peace, I may have to resign."
"Don't do anything that drastic," Cleo warned him. "Jimmy owes me a lunch date. I'll call that in soon and see if I can't smooth things over."
"Why would you do something like that for me?"
"If you both lean into your best traits, I think you'd be good for each other. What? Porsha's not the only shipper in town."
Something bubbled up from Jerry's gut and forced its way out of his muzzle. A laugh, a genuine chortle from the soul. His cheeks stretched from how hard he was beaming, and he couldn't hide the smile even if he wanted to.
It was the first time in ages that he felt positive about himself and the future.
A/N
This and the next chapter were originally one whole chapter, but I split them to give them room to breathe and expand on them. This also means I'm running into the same "problem" as Operation: Moonfall, in that a story I envisioned as twenty chapters is starting to swell a bit.