"So you're saying there's some sort of virus in the system preventing you from transferring Pokeballs?" Ash asked.

"Exactly," Nurse Tabitha snarled. "I'd get it out myself, but my computer doesn't seem to be responding well to my pointy needles and death threats." She shot a glare at the computer for emphasis.

"HUH," said Genesect. "HE - IS - SUR-PRIS-ING-LY - IN-TI-MI-DA-TING - FOR - A - NURSE."

"Yeah, I know," said Ash. "Just…could you deal with the virus, please?"

"OF - COURSE." Genesect plugged himself into the terminal. "PLEASE - A-VERT - YOUR - EYES. I - SUS-PECT - THERE - MAY - BE - SOME - E-PI-LEP-SY - IN-DU-CING - LIGHTS - IN-VOLVED."

Several seconds passed.

"DONE," Genesect announced. "YOUR - VI-RUS - HAS - BEEN - EX-TER-MI-NA-TED."

"And with no danger to ourselves!" Ash cheered. "Man, Genesect, what would I do without you?"

Genesect turned away. "QUITE - A - BIT, IT - SEEMS."

"So…" Ash pointed one by one at each of the three brothers. "You want your little brother Mikey to evolve his Eevee into Jolteon, you want him to evolve it into Flareon, and you want him to evolve it into Vaporeon."

"That's right," said the Vaporeon brother.

"It's the only way he'll be able to win battles!" the Flareon brother cried.

"But I don't care about battles!" Mikey wailed, clutching his Eevee.

"That's stupid," said the Jolteon brother. "You really need to evolve your Eevee. I suggest Jolteon."

"No, Vaporeon!"

"No, Flareon!"

As the three brothers started arguing once again, Clay turned to Mikey. "I take it you don't want to evolve your Eevee?"

Mikey shook his head wordlessly.

"So why don't you just say that?" Clay asked.

"Because they only care about battling," said Mikey. "If I say I don't want to evolve him, then they'll just laugh at me!"

"Hey, I've got an idea," Ash chimed in. "You should head down to Fuschia City! The Gym Leader there's a Normal-type Gym Leader, and she's really nice! And she's got a daughter named Janine who runs around with a Meowth! You'll fit right in."

"Really?" Mikey asked.

"Really," said Ash. "I bet she'll even make you one of her Gym Trainers if you ask nicely!"

"Awesome!" Mikey leaped to his feet and ran over to his brothers. "Hey, Rainer, Sparky, Pyro! Eevee and I are going to Fuschia City to work at the Normal-type Gym down there!"

"Cool!"

Clay smiled, taking a sip of water as he did so. "Good thinkin', Ash. I have a feeling he'll be pretty happy over there."

"Why can he not evolve it into Leafeon, Glaceon, Espeon, Umbreon, or Sylveon?" Cyrus asked. "Why were those not options?"

"Maybe because eight brothers was too many," Ash decided.

Clay spat out his water.

"Zygarde!" Ash called. "This Snorlax is in the way!"

Zygarde looked down. Sure enough, there was a Snorlax in the way, blocking up a river and disrupting the local ecosystem. This would not do.

As it turned out, even the legendarily drowsy Snorlax couldn't sleep through a colossal titan of a Legendary picking it up and chucking it over the horizon. Not that it really mattered whether it was asleep or awake.

"Well, that solves that," said Ash. "Man, imagine if I didn't have Zygarde. We'd probably have spent hours trying to move that thing!"

A ketchup-splattered Ash stormed out of Dark City, a similarly-stricken Clay and Cyrus following behind.

Clay grinned. "So-"

"Not one word," Cyrus growled, wiping ketchup out of his hair.

"Fair enough, Mr. Caesar Salad."

"I hate you."

"So, let me get this straight," said Clay. "There's an army of angry, mindless Exeggcutor heading straight for the carnival…"

"Yes," said the carnival owner.

"…they're going to cause a whole bunch of property damage and force you to shell out a lot of money for all the broken equipment that results…"

"Yes," said the carnival owner.

"…and your solution to this…is to blow up the carnival with a time bomb, thereby destroying the entire place and all the equipment yourself along with the Exeggcutor?"

"Yes," said the carnival owner.

"And you don't see the problem with this?" Clay asked.

"No," said the carnival owner.

Clay sighed. "Ash?"

"Right!" said Ash. "Zygarde, grab the bomb and carry it somewhere where it won't destroy anything. Scizor, go out and negotiate with those Exeggcutor - I'm sure you can convince them to turn around. Genesect, go with Scizor just in case things turn ugly. Palpitoad, I don't know why Pyroar set those tents on fire, but could you please put them out? And Hisuian Arcanine, find that Melvin guy - I'm pretty sure he's the one behind all this."

"I will release my Pokemon to find and evacuate any stragglers," Cyrus announced.

"And I'll make sure this carnival owner doesn't try anything," Clay growled with a glare at the man in question.

"Wait, no, my time bomb!" the carnival owner cried as Zygarde picked it up. "I spent all my money on that!"

"No wonder he's so strapped for cash," Clay muttered.

"What an idiot," Cyrus stated.

Psyduck fired a Water Gun from one outstretched hand. The Paras tried to dodge, but the Water-type attack struck it full in the face. Despite its type resistance, it instantly keeled over, even the weak hit too much for it.

"Oh…" Psyduck murmured as the Paras's Trainer, Cassandra, leaned down to give it a Revive. "Sorry…guess I've been practicing too much…"

"Don't worry, that's not something to be ashamed of," said Sneasel. "It's just not the best for this situation. Also, wow, that is one weak Paras."

Paras burst into tears and ran away.

Sneasel blanched as the various Pokemon gathered around glared at him. "Oops."

"I apologize, Cassandra," said Cyrus.

"That's okay," said the girl in question. "Paras has never been the strongest battler, and…well, he knows it. I don't know how I'm ever going to get him to evolve at this rate."

"Hey, maybe I could try using Pyroar against him!" Ash suggested.

Clay and Cyrus both glared at him.

"Right, yeah, that's a terrible idea."

Paras huddled amongst a leaf pile, hoping no one saw him.

Judging by the fluttering of wings nearby and the utterance of "Hey," this had not worked.

"Just go away," Paras whimpered. "I don't need anyone else telling me how useless I am…"

"I'm not here to tell you that."

Paras looked up to see a Zubat standing over him. "Oh," Paras murmured. "I get it. You're here to tell me how delicious I look, at which point you'll kill me and devour my organs."

"No, I'm…not here to tell you that, either." Zubat looked befuddled. "I just want to get to the bottom of why you have trouble battling."

"Well, that's easy," said Paras, curling up again. "I'm weak and pathetic."

"No one's that weak," Zubat pointed out. "You're not getting knocked out by the attacks. I think you're actually fainting from fear and shock, not being overcome by damage."

"What's the difference?" Paras asked. "I'm still fainting."

"I think you're caught in a vicious cycle," said Zubat. "You're so scared of battling that whenever someone hits you with an attack, you faint from fright, which in turn causes you to be even more scared of battling since you don't want to faint from fright, and so on and so forth. Believe me, I've seen it before, though admittedly not to this degree."

Paras nodded slowly. "But if I can't battle, then I can't evolve, and I can't become a Parasect, and my Trainer can't make the medicine she wants to use my mushroom to develop!"

Zubat sighed. "Look, Paras. I'm going to touch you with my wing." She did so.

"Why?" Paras asked.

"Because that's all battling is," said Zubat. "Touching each other. Wait, that came out wrong. Ignore that. The point is, you don't have to be afraid of getting hit. After all, it's not that much different than what I did, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," said Paras. "And that didn't feel scary. It felt like when my Trainer picks me up, and that's all right."

"So…I'm going to do it harder now, okay?" Zubat lightly smacked Paras with her wing.

Paras flinched, and then opened his eyes. "Wow. I…thought I would faint from that."

"A little harder now." Zubat batted Paras with her wing.

Paras flinched again, then turned towards Zubat. "Huh. How are you doing that?"

"I'm not doing it," said Zubat, "you are. The kind of attack I just did? That was about the same power level as what Psyduck hit you with back there. Unlike him, I just eased you into it."

"Oh." Paras looked down. "I fainted because of an attack like that? Now I feel really stupid."

"Don't," said Zubat. "Want to battle?"

"Battle?" Paras looked up with wide eyes. "I…"

"It's okay to be scared." Zubat smiled. "I'll make sure to ease you into it, just like what I just did, okay?"

Slowly, shakily, Paras nodded. "Okay."

Ten minutes later, Zubat returned with a newly-evolved Parasect by her side. Several vehement thank-yous by Cassandra later, the group were once again on their way with a much greater appreciation for Cyrus's first non-Dark-type.

"Whew!" Ash leaned back on the bed of his hotel room. "What an eventful day! At this rate, we'll reach Cinnabar Island in no time!"

He released his current roster of Pokemon onto the floor - Primeape, Kricketune, Palpitoad, Aegislash, Scizor, and Hisuian Arcanine. "You all can hang out for a bit," he said. "I'm going to call Professor Archie - I should really apologize to him for transferring my Pokemon so much throughout the day. He must have been run ragged."

The Pokemon obliged, falling to talking amongst themselves as Ash called Professor Archie. It only took a few seconds for the professor to answer. "Ahoy there, Ash! Seems ye been busy today!"

"Yeah, sorry about that," said Ash, grinning sheepishly. "A lot of stuff happened. How have things been with you and Gladion, Professor?"

"Oh, Gladion be fine," Professor Archie reported. "Though Silvally still be trying out random insults on his other team members. Strange…"

Ash thought he saw Scizor snickering, but decided it wasn't important.

"Actually," Professor Archie said abruptly, as if he'd just remembered something, "I be meaning to talk to ye. Yesterday, that Palpitoad of yours just disappeared for about an hour. We be findin' him eventually, of course, but maybe ye could be askin' him about it? Ye be havin' that translator Genesect, after all. I could be transportin' it over for ye."

Ash was faintly aware that Palpitoad suddenly looked quite frightened, while everyone else in the room had stopped all conversation in favor of listening to Professor Archie's speech. Quickly he shook his head. "Nah. It's probably nothing. Talk to you tomorrow, Professor?"

"Aye." Professor Archie hung up; as soon as he did, Ash turned towards Palpitoad, who looked as if he'd rather be anywhere other than in the room.

"Palpitoad?" Ash asked. "Are you okay?"

Slowly, Palpitoad nodded.

Ash frowned. "Uh…no offense, Palpitoad, but the fact that you genuinely look like you're about to pass out from terror doesn't really make me inclined to believe you."

"Palp…"

"Zor." Surprisingly, Scizor stepped in front of Palpitoad, gesticulating with his claws. "Scizor. Sci. Zor. Sci."

Ash couldn't understand Scizor, but the meaning was clear. Don't worry. We'll handle this.

Ash swept his gaze across his other five Pokemon, then slowly nodded. "All right. I'm gonna…lie down and read, I guess. Let me know when you're done."

Scizor could barely restrain himself from a nervous gulp as Ash turned away from the team and laid back down on the bed. Part of him had known that Palpitoad's secret was probably not going to stay a secret forever. But at the same time, he hadn't expected the issue to come up again so soon.

Glancing to the side, he saw Palpitoad giving him a pleading look, silently asking him to not reveal the Water/Ground-type's words yesterday. Damn it, Scizor thought, eyeing the frowns on the faces of the rest of the team. This is not going to be fun in the slightest.

"All right, spill it," Primeape demanded. "What's going on?"

"Primeape, try and be a little gentle," Kricketune requested. "He's clearly somewhat sensitive about this."

"Obviously," said Aegislash. "But Primeape is correct. Palpitoad, if thou art suffering, thou needeth not suffer alone. Tell thine tale, and we shalt assisteth thee in whatever way thou requireth."

"I don't think he even understood half of that, Aegislash," Kricketune pointed out.

"I just got lost, okay?" Palpitoad said defensively. "I really don't want to talk about it."

"Lost?" Primeape glared at Palpitoad. "On Professor Archie's ranch? I've been on this team for far less time than you have, and I already know the place by heart! How do you even get lost for an hour in there?"

"I found him in the lake," said Scizor, hoping that his revelation of half the truth might satisfy the others. "I think he spent too much time underwater, and didn't hear us calling for him."

This did not, in fact, satisfy the others. "Yeah, that doesn't sound like getting lost," Primeape snorted. "That lake's piddly - not even the size of a traditional Pokemon battlefield. That sounds more like you were hiding from something."

"Or someone," Aegislash murmured darkly. Palpitoad noticeably winced.

Kricketune stepped in front of Palpitoad. "Lay off him, won't you? Whatever this is, he clearly doesn't want to talk about it."

"Is someone bullying you, Palpitoad?" Hisuian Arcanine asked concernedly.

Aegislash's blade glowed in the darkened room. "If that is the case, I shalt lay low whatever beast dareth to harm my ally!"

Palpitoad somehow managed to shrink even further back than he already was.

"Scizor," Hisuian Arcanine asked, turning to the Bug/Steel-type, "did Palpitoad tell you anything about why he was hiding in the lake?"

Scizor bit back a curse, wishing he wasn't one of the six Pokemon Ash had chosen to be with him tonight. Unfortunately, he clearly hadn't hid his reaction well enough, because suddenly four suspicious glares were locked onto him. "If he did," Primeape growled, "I suggest you tell us."

"Unless thou art too craven to do so," Aegislash stated.

"Scizor," said Kricketune, "whatever's going on-"

"He wants to leave."

As soon as the words came out, Scizor saw Palpitoad flinch, eyes narrowing in betrayed anger. He wanted to look away, but the shock in the eyes of the rest of the team arrested the turn of his head. "What do you mean, he wants to leave?" Primeape demanded.

"I…" Scizor hesitated, but pushed on - he'd already revealed the secret, after all. No sense in trying to retract it. "I mean exactly that," he said. "He's…conflicted about it, though. He was staying silent because he was worried everyone would hate him for it."

"Is this true?" Hisuian Arcanine asked, turning back towards Palpitoad.

Palpitoad nodded silently, looking away from all of them as he did so.

"Well…" Kricketune stumbled over his words. "Palpitoad, I…get it. It's a complicated situation-"

"No, it is not."

All eyes turned to Aegislash as he glared at Palpitoad. "The situation is, in fact, quite simple," he said. "If he doth not want to be on our team, then we doth not want him on our team."

Scizor raised a claw towards Aegislash. "You-"

"No, he's right." Scizor turned to look, shocked, at Palpitoad, who was hanging his head as he spoke. "And he's not the only one, either."

Scizor turned back towards the rest of the team. To his surprise, while Kricketune looked sympathetic, both Primeape and Hisuian Arcanine seemed to be silently nodding along with Aegislash. Scizor looked into Hisuian Arcanine's eyes. "You too?"

"What do you want me to say, Scizor?" Hisuian Arcanine asked. "That I wholeheartedly agree with his decision? Because…" He looked sorrowfully at Palpitoad. "Tell me this, Palpitoad. You want to leave because you're a Ground-type now, right? So you'll fit in on Clay's team when you didn't before?"

"…yes," Palpitoad murmured.

"So," said Hisuian Arcanine, "say you go back to Clay, and you evolve again in the future, and in that new form you're not a Ground-type anymore. What happens then? Would you stay with Clay even though you don't fit in anymore, or would you come running back to Ash?"

"I…I…" Palpitoad stammered, unable to come up with an answer.

"Look, Palpitoad," said Hisuian Arcanine, taking a step closer to the Water/Ground-type. "I'm not angry because you want to leave. I'm angry because you don't actually know what you want. You're just…running away the instant some problem rears its head. I don't hate you, Palpitoad, but I can't have that on this team."

Palpitoad looked up tearfully into Hisuian Arcanine's eyes. There was a hardness in the Fire/Rock-type's gaze that caught Scizor off-guard; aside from in battle, he'd never seen Ash's Starter this serious before. "I may be on a team with multiple gods and monsters that are far beyond me in terms of power," said Hisuian Arcanine, "but I'm still this team's leader. And as leader, it is my duty to say this. You're welcome to leave, Palpitoad, if that's what you want. But if you do…" Hisuian Arcanine's eyes narrowed. "…then you're not welcome back."

Palpitoad gulped, trembling eyes not daring to look away.

"So think about it," Hisuian Arcanine finished. "Think long and hard about what you actually want. You can give me your answer in the morning." Only then did Hisuian Arcanine finally turn away, heaving a quiet sigh as he strode to the other end of the room.

"I'll…" Palpitoad seemed lost for words. "I'll…go…do that." The Water/Ground-type turned and fled, bursting through the hotel room door, the pattering of his footsteps fading quickly as he ran down the hall.

Scizor shook his head. "I'll go after him," he said, already heading towards the door. Then he, too, was gone, propelled out of the room by Quick Attack.

Primeape and Aegislash turned to Hisuian Arcanine. "Team leader, huh?" the Fighting-type growled. "And who gave you that title?"

Hisuian Arcanine twitched towards the boy snoring on the bed above them. "Ash."

Neither Aegislash nor Primeape spoke for a few seconds until Aegislash finally broke the silence. "He hath a point."

Primeape snorted and sat down heavily against the wall, arms crossed and glaring at nothing.

Kricketune looked around uneasily. "I'm…just going to compose a quiet musical composition over here, if you don't mind."

It was fairly easy to find Palpitoad. Even if he hadn't left clear indentations leading down the carpeted hall, the sound of muffled sobbing was fairly indicative of his position. Sure enough, he was sitting in the hotel's laundry room, huddled in the corner and trying to hide behind a basket.

"You do realize I can see you through the holes in that basket, right?" Scizor called as he entered the room.

There was a pause, and then the wretched-looking Palpitoad crept out from behind the basket, eyeing Scizor warily.

"I told you to forget it," the Water/Ground-type whispered.

Scizor bowed his head. "I know."

"I trusted you!" The pain in Palpitoad's voice was clear and understandable.

"I know." Scizor looked back up at the teary-eyed Palpitoad. "And I didn't want to. But you know as well as I do that the story was already on the cusp of coming out whether or not I said anything."

Palpitoad sat down heavily, slumping over, not even looking at Scizor anymore. "What do I do?" he whispered, barely audible. "Hisuian Arcanine's right. The instant anything goes wrong for me, my reaction is always just to run away. And now I've got tonight to decide my whole future, and…" He trailed off.

Scizor crossed his arms. "Look at it this way, Palpitoad. Forget the past, forget the future, forget everyone else and what they might have to say. In a vacuum…thinking of nothing else but yourself…what do you want?"

"I want to go back to Clay." Palpitoad's response was surprisingly swift. "He was my Trainer for so long, and now that I belong on his team instead of feeling like a fifth wheel…" He slumped. "But that's the problem. I'm not in a vacuum. I already feel so guilty turning my back on Ash after everything he did for me. And if everyone else thinks I should stay with Ash, then who am I to say otherwise?"

"You're the one whose job it is to make the decision," Scizor answered. "In the end, regardless of what everyone else says, it's your choice. I'm not going to lie and say I'd be happy to see you go, but at the end of the day I'm not going to stand in your way. And you heard Hisuian Arcanine - he's not going to either. So don't be a doormat and let everyone else's opinions decide your actions. If you want to leave, then leave."

Palpitoad swallowed, but rose from his slumped-over position, looking at Scizor with misty but determined eyes. "I wish Genesect was here. How am I supposed to let Ash and Clay know about my decision otherwise?"

"I'm sure we can do some charades for that," said Scizor. "Don't worry, we'll take care of it one way or another."

"And you're sure no one's going to hate me for this?" Palpitoad asked.

Scizor smiled. "Don't worry. There will probably be some disappointment, yes. And what Hisuian Arcanine said is true - I highly doubt you'll be welcome back. But I promise that no one is going to be mad about your decision."

"Yarr, I be furious about this decision!" Professor Archie yelled. "Leavin' ye without a Water-type? I'll keelhaul that scurvy seadog!"

"I'm sure I'll get another Water-type soon, Professor," said Ash.

"That Ground-type Gym Leader is bad company!" Professor Archie ranted. "Not only be he a filthy landlubber, he be stealin' your Water-types! I say make him walk the plank!"

"It wasn't Clay's decision, it was Palpitoad's," Ash defended. "And where am I gonna get a plank for him to walk on?"

"Argh!" This did not help Professor Archie's mood.

"Sorry, Professor, but I do need to get some sleep tonight," said Ash. "Have a good rest of your night!"

"I-" Professor Archie's words were lost to the ether as Ash hung up.

The boy relaxed in his bed. It had really been a painless process; Scizor had managed to get enough of his meaning across through judicious miming with his claws, and from there it had been simple to transfer Genesect, have him translate Palpitoad's request, and find Clay (luckily just coming up from the lobby to get some sleep himself) to return Palpitoad's Pokeball.

Sure, it wasn't the best feeling to give Palpitoad away. But if that was what Palpitoad wanted, Ash wasn't going to stand in his way.

Sighing in contentment, Ash rested his head on his pillow and closed his eyes, already looking forward to what tomorrow might bring.

Sudden drama bomb! Don't worry, we'll be back to our regularly scheduled comedy next chapter.

Sorry to all of you who wanted to see Ash finally get a Seismitoad. But I had this arc planned out for Tympole/Palpitoad from the beginning, and while I will freely admit I sometimes make changes to this fic on the fly, this was never going to be one of them.

Poor Professor Archie...it sure would be a shame if Ash didn't get another Water-type for several more regions...