Disclaimer: Lee Jordan belongs to JK Rowling.

Chapter 13: Shacklebolt

Gryffindor Versus Ravenclaw

Professor Grubbly-Plank passed the book on to Kingsley, who read out the next title: "Chapter Thirteen: Gryffindor Versus Ravenclaw."

Harry had taken Ron's side over the Scabbers debacle, much to Hermione's dismay, which, granted, was exactly what Scabbers had wanted him to think. Fred and George were not trying to take Hermione's side, exactly, but were trying in their own obnoxious way to break Ron out of his funk. On the other hand, Harry finally got to try out his Firebolt, which was like night and day even compared with his Nimbus, which had been top-of-the-line just two years earlier.

Harry finally showed off the broom in the Great Hall, to great excitement. Malfoy had looked horrified, Cedric Diggory was impressed, and Percy became just about the most overconfident that Harry had ever seen him.

"'Now, now, Penny, no sabotage!' said Percy heartily as she examined the Firebolt closely. 'Penelope and I have got a bet on,' he told the team. 'Ten Galleons on the outcome of the match!'

"Penelope put the Firebolt back down again, thanked Harry, and went back to her table.

"'Harry—make sure you win,' said Percy, in an urgent whisper. 'I haven't got ten Galleons—' Now that was an unwise move, Mr. Weasley," Shacklebolt commented. "Especially with your girlfriend."

Down the table, Percy winced. "Not my smartest move, Professor Shacklebolt," he admitted. "Penny didn't much like my attitude when I called it in, either." A mixture of laughter and groans sounded around the Great Hall.

"Are Percy and Penny still together?" Harry wondered. "I haven't heard about her since she graduated."

"Nah, they broke up, but not over that," Fred told him.

"It was when Percy got to be a git about his Ministry job," George explained.

"And wouldn't come out of his room till he finished his report on cauldron bottoms."

"We might have made some poorly-timed jokes at his expense, too."

Harry rolled his eyes and kept listening.

"'Got plenty of special features, hasn't it?' said Malfoy, eyes glittering maliciously. 'Shame it doesn't come with a parachute — in case you get too near a dementor.'

"Crabbe and Goyle sniggered.

"'Pity you can't attach an extra arm to yours, Malfoy,' said Harry. 'Then it could catch the Snitch for you.'

The Great Hall rolled with laughter. Even Kingsley cracked and had to take a moment to compose himself.

"Ooh, we'll have to remember that one, Harry," Fred chortled.

"Yeah, I'd forgotten about it," George agreed. "That was one of your best lines."

Kingsley resumed reading, continuing into the match itself. He got to where Harry thought the first line was that he had crossed out about Cho, and Kingsley looked up over the book and out at the Great Hall. Harry was sure Kingsley had met his eyes for a moment, but he continued on without comment.

Given a Quidditch chapter to read, Kingsley turned out to be fairly entertaining. He read Harry's play-by-play in a more dynamic style, and while he didn't exactly know Lee Jordan's cadence, he could manage commentary pretty well.

"'Chang's Comet is just no match for it, the Firebolt's precision-balance is really noticeable in these long—'

"'JORDAN! ARE YOU BEING PAID TO ADVERTISE FIREBOLTS? GET ON WITH THE COMMENTARY!'"

The Great Hall jumped—even McGonagall herself—as he shouted that last line in a passable imitation of McGonagall's voice, if pitched an octave or two lower. People laugh, and just as it died down, Lee called up from the Gryffindor Table, "I stand by it!" Which made everyone laugh even harder.

In the match, Cho tried to mark Harry—not an expert move, that (even without Oliver telling Harry to knock her off her broom), and all the more so when your opponent had the faster broom. Harry soon had bigger things to worry about, in the form of dementors appearing to take the field, but he quickly bowled them over with his Patronus—a corporeal Patronus, which he hadn't understood the significance of until later—and even caught the Snitch at practically the same time.

Then, it turned out that the dementors were really just four Slytherins in black robes, led of course by Malfoy, in a prank so severe that McGonagall took them straight to Dumbledore for additional discipline.

"That was in really bad taste," Angelina Johnson complained. "Quidditch or no Quidditch, that sort of thing's just not done."

"Casting the Patronus was technically a foul, wasn't it?" Hermione asked, to general surprise that she would know that. "There aren't to be any spells used, are there?"

Ron shrugged: "I guess so, but I dunno if anyone would've called him on it with dementors around. Besides, it was the end of the match."

"But what's the rule if there's a foul, but the Snitch is caught right after?" she pressed.

"Nothing. The match is over."

"But what if a penalty shot could have changed the outcome of the match?"

"I keep telling you, Hermione, Quidditch doesn't care about that stuff."

"We did straight-up play a man down when Harry was in the Hospital Wing his first year," Fred pointed out.

"Well, I suppose…" Hermione said. At the time, she had been too worried about Harry to pay attention. "Wait a minute! Why didn't you reschedule that match? Slytherin got a match changed with an excuse as bad as Malfoy's."

"Slytherin didn't reschedule. They only swapped," Fred answered.

"Besides, we couldn't in Harry's first year. It was the last weekend of term," George added.

Hermione thought a moment longer and said, "That's right. That was…well, the only other year we've had a final, it was in April. What was it before we got here?"

"May, our first two years," said George.

"Charlie complained about them moving it around, but I don't think it was ever after exams before," Fred agreed. "Not sure what that's about, to be honest."

The party after winning the match against Ravenclaw went so late into the night that McGonagall had to come up to tell the Gryffindors to wrap it up and go to bed, the excitement at suddenly finding themselves back in the running for the Cup after their disastrous first match that year was so great. After he went to bed, Harry had a strange dream that he honestly had completely forgotten about, in which he was walking through a forest with his Firebolt on his shoulder and following what he now knew could only be his Patronus up ahead. It shouldn't have been so surprising given that it was directly related to the Quidditch match, but it had felt odd to him when he read it last night—odd enough that he wrote it down. (And after all, how often did the books repeat his dreams for no reason?)

Kingsley reached perhaps the most alarming line he had seen yet in the books. He raised an eyebrow and slowed his reading for a moment, considering how to approach it. He remembered the first book's reading and decided to just go for it. Well, not quite. No need to start a panic. "Well, this should be interesting," he said. He cleared his throat and—

"'AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'"

People screamed. Even Harry, who had known what was coming, jumped and realised it might have been a mistake to leave that line in. Kingsley's bellow, coming from a groan man, was even scarier than Ron's had been that night. There was a loud clatter as Tonks leapt to her feet next to him and knocked over her chair, wand in hand. Flitwick and, oddly, Snape had done the same before they relaxed and connected the dots to what Kingsley had said. Even Dumbledore half-rose from his seat, wand out, scanning the area before determining there was no threat.

McGonagall rose to her feet, too, but not to face a threat; she was livid. "KINGSLEY SHACKLEBOLT! WHAT THE BLAZES DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" she shouted as if to an errant student.

Kinglsey had the decency to look embarrassed. "Ahem, I apologise, Headmistress. Perhaps I should have given more warning just then. But that is what the book says: 'AAAAA—'"

"Silencio!" His shout wasn't as loud as the first one, but it was still enough that Tonks was done it with. She silenced him and ripped the book from his hands. "Give me that, Shack," she said. "Honestly, I thought I was the one who was supposed to mess with people." She examined the book. "Well, that is was it says," she admitted. "Two full lines of screaming. But really, Shack!"

Kingsley pointed his wand and unsilenced himself. "Again, I apologise. I'm afraid I was getting a little too into the story. But do you really think you wouldn't have done, Tonks?"

"Yes, I wouldn't have!"

He stared at her accusingly.

"Probably."

Some of the students snickered. Kingsley kept staring.

"Maybe," she admitted. More people laughed. Sufficiently cowed, she righted her chair and sat back down as Kingsley continued reading. As the older students had probably guessed, this was the night when Ron had woken up frantic that Sirius Black had got into the Gryffindor dorms.

"'IT WASN'T A NIGHTMARE!' Ron yelled. 'PROFESSOR, I WOKE UP, AND SIRIUS BLACK WAS STANDING OVER ME, HOLDING A KNIFE!'" Kingsley restrained himself some this time, but he read Ron's words in an appropriately dramatic fashion.

"Professor McGonagall stared at him.

"'Don't be ridiculous, Weasley, how could he have possibly got through the portrait hole?'"

Harry felt a strange sense of deja vu, even though he hadn't ever been in the situation Ron had. It took him a moment to place it. He'd felt that way when he saw Mr Weasley being attacked by Voldemort's snake, when he'd shouted to everyone who would listen and had felt like no one had believed him. He still considered it a miracle of sorts that the Order had recovered him before he'd bled to death.

Ron, of course, did have proof, as Sir Cadogan reported that he had let an unidentified man into the dorm after he read the entire week's passwords off a slip of parchment, which Neville admitted to having lost.

Natalie McDonald slapped her forehead. "What an idiot," she said. She looked up to see Neville staring at her, and she added, "Not you, Neville. I meant Sir Cadogan—mostly. I know you told me, but I still didn't believe it. How was he that stupid?"

Ginny shook her head: "That's a mystery that might never be solved, Natalie."