Skill#36: Be Nice To Your New Step Mom
The sound of a woman's sexy moan could be heard coming out of the back pocket of her boyfriend jeans and the newly wedded wife of the household let out a stream of curses as she took out her mobile phone and looked at the notifications floating on the screen.
[Bolt: Hey MILF! Got any Milk?]
Sarada Uchiha-Uzumaki scowled. It was a text from her stepson, Boruto Uzumaki. This must be what they call karma, she thought with a grimace. Six months ago, it had been a completely different story. She had been the one teasing him, flaunting the giant rock on her finger, telling him how his old man had gone down on his bad knee and proposed to her and later how they had made love in his bedroom. In her book, it was the perfect revenge against her high school bully, the bloke she hated with a vengeance.
But now the proverbial other shoe had dropped and it was her time to face the music. Old Naruto had gotten himself involved in a torrid scandal, a bad habit which seemed to plague all big time politicians and since it was an election year, the opposition was gunning for his head and the media were clamouring for his arrest. Which, if she was being completely honest was going a bit too far, and no, she was not taking his side because it was her solemn duty as his lawfully wedded wife to always stand by him. Sarada was being practical. It was a simple case of tax avoidance rather than evasion. Even the Daily Bugle had to admit it was technically legal and only morally questionable.
Even then the Prime Minister of the country didn't want to take any risks and didn't want to jeopardize his own bid for a re-election, so according to her husband, he was being banished to foreign lands and made to hop around the globe in the hopes that he would stay off the news and out of the voter's memories until the next big scandal rocked the nation.
Boruto was used to this life and told his dad to enjoy and make memories on what he considered was an impromptu vacation, a globetrotting adventure, and some time away from the old ball and chain. Boruto made sure to say this during Sunday brunch, while the whole family was assembled at the table and Naruto made it a point to smack him on the head while Sarada was buttering her toast with a knife. Like father, like son, she had thought and let out a small chuckle before moving on.
Unfortunately trouble soon started to brew in paradise and her blissfully short married life felt threatened. One fine evening she was flicking through the channels on the telly and her attention was momentarily grabbed by some random celebrity news on MTV. Ruby Hoshino was scheduled to do some shows in Vegas and she was papped in a casino, winning big at the craps table and afterwards kissing a rather distinguished looking gentleman on the cheek to celebrate. The man was none other than Sarada's sodding husband.
Naruto Uzumaki had some explaining to do and for his sake he should not come up with the same old excuse that it was the woman's fault. Miss Ruby Hoshino was a world renowned idol. Mr. Naruto Uzumaki was a military man, having served during the war and had retired while holding the rank of a Colonel. If her husband, while wooing her, could brag about his war time escapades, dodging a hailstorm of bullets, catching grenades with his bare hands and lobbing them back at the enemy, then he sure as hell could avoid another woman's lips before they could plant themselves on his cheek.
With the way things were, upon his return, her husband would have to spend a day or two in the guest bedroom. But Sarada had underestimated the old man's tendency to womanize, thinking now that he had a young, nubile wife waiting for him back home, he would try to keep his flirtations with the members of the opposite sex to a minimum.
How wrong she had been.
Although she and Boruto were around the same age, she didn't make it a habit to stay glued to her mobile phone all the time. Unlike the rest of the people of her current generation she hadn't developed an addiction to social media, which she considered as a big win in her book. In fact, she was proud of the fact that she didn't succumb to a panic attack if she lost her phone. Having said that, she had a habit of misplacing her phone, often times forgetting where she put the darn thing and not finding it at the nick of time, resulting in many, many missed alerts and notifications.
On the evening, when she found out her husband was kissed by a famous celebrity, the same thing happened. Sarada had misplaced her phone and by the time she found it, the world had moved on and left her behind. There was a short clip uploaded on the family's Whatsapp group. It was a video of Naruto Uzumaki and Ruby Hoshino. From what she could tell, it was recorded in the casino, at the craps table and judging from the time stamp it was fairly recent.
Naruto held up a pair of dice on his open palm, Ruby blew on them with a heavy breath and a quirk of her lips. Sarada's husband then made a fist with his hand, shook it in a way which resembled a man stroking his cock and then rolled the dice, which was followed by loud whistles and hurrahs. The video was aptly captioned – 'Lady Luck is blowing my way tonight!'
But Sarada forgot her husband's paramour for the evening was a famed singer and so she aptly put a song in the background to up the production value of the sexually charged video. Judging from the music it was an old time classic and the lyrics went well with what was at display:
"You're on this date with me,
The pickin's have been lush,
And yet before the evening is over
You might give me the brush."
Naruto's boys were a chip off the old block. The apple didn't fall far from the tree so to speak. Boruto openly expressed his jealousy. Kawaki called his father figure a 'sly old dog'. Only Hachiman, who was the last one to leave a comment, mentioned something about the lyrics being not suitable. The conversation which followed next was quite entertaining to observe:
Bolt: What do you mean?
8man: The singer is comparing luck to a woman who doesn't behave like a 'lady' but is someone of loose morals.
Kawaki: Hate to break it too you Hikigaya, but we aren't living in the 1940s. You don't call a woman a whore for sucking on some dick.
Bolt: Don't players often get a lady to blow on their dice? It's considered good luck.
Kawaki: Yeah!
Kawaki: Although I gotta tell you Boruto, it's hella sexy. Got a give it to the old man. He's still got it!
8man: Agreed.
8man: But I find it ironic, because she's the date.
Bolt: What? I still don't get it.
Kawaki: Let it go Boruto. Hikigaya is probably messing with us.
Sarada closed the messenger app on her phone and placed the phone on the coffee table in the living room. A small smile had crept its way onto her lips and before long, a tiny giggle bubbled out of her throat. It seemed, without even noticing, her sour mood had vanished into thin air. In fact, she was feeling awfully chipper for a wife who had learnt about her husband's affair while he was staying abroad. And the person responsible for her good mood was none other than Hachiman Hikigaya.
Hachiman was Boruto's younger brother and if rumours were to be believed he was Naruto's only child conceive out of wedlock. Naturally it made him her stepson as well. Boruto and Hachiman were definitely related. They definitely looked similar, they had inherited the famed Uzumaki hair, the unruly mass of locks which couldn't be tamed by any comb and the two of them had the distinction of being good in both academics and sports without making compromises in one or the other field.
There was no doubt about it, Hachiman and Boruto were definitely related. The total lack of blonde hair on the younger man's head notwithstanding, they were definitely siblings. But there were a handful of differences too. For one thing Hachiman needed glasses, but his eyesight wasn't nearly as bad as Boruto, who had made the switch to contact lenses during his college years. There was also the fact that Hachiman didn't get to be the valedictorian of his class or win many championship titles with his team, something which Boruto and Kawaki always made a point to lord over him while showing off their numerous trophies and medals. Finally and she can't stress this point enough, because it was the most important distinction of all: Hachiman Hikigaya was nice to her and treated her like family.
Even though she had known Boruto much longer and they went to the same high school, the two of them had never been friends. Boruto was the jock, Sarada was the wallflower.
But Sarada felt a closer affinity with Hachiman and she had a feeling he felt the same way about her. Otherwise why would he stick out his neck for his new stepmom, call Ruby Hoshino a loose woman, which in Sarada's book was the same as calling the upstart crow a whore.
Because unlike Boruto, Hachiman liked her.
She was family.
Without knowing Sarada Uchiha started to hum a nice catchy tune. In the mood for some music, she scrolled through her playlist and you can be damn sure she wasn't about to play some of Ruby Hoshino's tune. Personally speaking, she had always been an After-School Tea Time fan. But after taking everything into account she went for a classic, the tried and true golden standard from the past and before long the strong, melodious voice of Gloria Gaynor was telling her how she would get through this, how she will survive.
"I will survive." Sarada sang out loud. "I will survive!"
-x-x-x-
Author's Note: Welcome to"108 Skills To Be The Perfect Boyfriend Material For Shonen Girls in Tokyo."
Yes, that is the full title of the fic and I know its way too big, like crappy light novel length big, but hey, if the shoe fits, you better take it off the shelf and buy it. Also, I have been on the fence about writing a shared universe fic, because the Ikebukuro fics didn't work out, but you know I am kinda hopeful with the "108 Skills & Counting" Series. Please let this be a success! Also, I know it's way too soon, but maybe this 108 Skill Fics will be the gateway drug to the bigger shared universe I am planning on writing in the future. But for now, I'm fine with writing a bunch of one-shots.
Also, I know this chapter is very AU which defeats the very purpose of writing about the "Shonen Girls". Sure, I sprinkled a few vague references here and there, but I don't think it managed to achieve what I had in mind when I set out to write this fic. But my other alternative was Hikigaya having shinobi powers as one of his 108 Skills and I didn't know how readers would react to that. So, for the first chapter, I went with an "AU-Modern Setting" and hoped for the best. If you think this is the wrong approach, please let me know in the reviews.
Now it's time for some polls –
Poll#1: Should The Shonen Girls In This Fic Have Their Respective Powers?
Option 1: Hell Yes!
Option 2: Fuck No!
Poll#2: Should Hikigaya Hachiman Have Powers Of His Own?
Option 1: Hell Yes!
Option 2: Fuck No!
Finally, the poll you have all been waiting for (hopefully). This is the one where you get to decide which female character will be featured in the next chapter. The following list of characters was given to me via PM by "Wicked-A"(Give the man a round of applause! Thank you so much, my friend!).
Poll#3: Who Should Be Featured In The Next Chapter?
Option 1: Grayfia Lucifuge – High School DxD
Option 2: Yor Forger – Spy x Family
Option 3: Mama Yuigahama – OreGairu
Option 4: Mama Yukinoshita – OreGairu
Option 5: Kushina Uzumaki – Naruto
Option 6: Female Naruto Uzumaki – Naruto
Option 7: Hinata Hyuuga (MILF) – Boruto
Option 8: Frieren – Frieren: Beyond Journey's End.
Option 9: Ruby – Rwby
Option 10: Yang – Rwby
Option 11: Android 18 – Dragon ball Z
Option 12: Raven – Teen Titans
Option 13: Starfire – Teen Titans
Option 14: Star Butterfly – Star VS the Forces of Evil
Option 15: Moon Butterfly – Star VS the Forces of Evil
Option 16: Eclipsa Butterfly – Star VS the Forces of Evil
Option 17: Ajimu Najimi "Anshinin-San" – Medaka Box
Option 18: Ashley Graves – The Coffin of Andy and LeyLey
Option 19: Mrs. Graves – The Coffin of Andy and LeyLey
Option 20: Neun – Purgatory 2
Option 21: Ayase Momo – Dandandan
Option 22: Hilda – Beelzebub
[Option 23: Suggest A Female Character In The Reviews.]
Please pick accordingly
Hope everyone enjoyed reading this chapter.
Leave lots and lots of reviews, follow and fave.
I will be back with the next chapter soon.
Later 'gators!