You Showed Up Just In Time

by SANfangirl

When a glitch in the story happens, we find out just what things are truly fated, and what can be changed. Or, That au where Astrid is born three years later than she's supposed to and it shifts many things behind, but some things stay right on time.

3. You Come Back to What You Need

So, apparently there was trouble with chapter two? It says it's posted on my end but whenever I tried to click on it it wouldn't show up. Here's hoping with chapter three, you'll be able to reach it.

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These hands had to let it go free and / This love came back to me

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19 and 22:

Astrid thinks that maybe love is different from what she thinks it is. When she thinks of love, she thinks of the popular ballads sung about crazy couples willing to sacrifice everything for the other. She thinks of the former Chief and his wife, and the way he stubbornly refuses to take another so many years after her death. She pictures Mother and Papa, the way Papa kisses her mother's hand like a delicate maiden and hands her a shield like she's a brother in arms.

It's a little old fashioned, but Astrid has always associated kissing with love. Milkmaids and fishermens' daughters and pleasure workers would probably laugh at her and her inexperience, but while Astrid is not overly concerned with her chastity, she can respect the honor in preserving it. And even if kisses may be a common commodity among some, to her they are things she guards closely.

Astrid wonders if kissing Hiccup means she loves him. Part of her wants to deny that idea because if she loves Hiccup, shouldn't she know if she loves him without a doubt? And yet, she thinks of the moments they share, the way her breath catches in her throat when Hiccup pulls off a spectacular trick on Toothless or the way she tracks the cut of his jaw and stubble in the candlelight when he's pouring over parchment and maps. She knows they've shared tender looks in those seconds after their lips part, catching their breaths and drinking in the sight of the other's face so close to theirs. Is that love? She's well aware she has a crush on Hiccup - who wouldn't like the handsome, wild, powerful Pride of Berk? But love? That's something else entirely.

Maybe she's a little scared of it being love. Because if she loves him, will he love her back? Of course not. She knows he's special and she is most certainly not. She's nicer these days, yes, but she still lets her temper get the better of her, and makes stupid decisions should her emotions overflow in the moment. She knows that boys often view physical intimacy a lot crasser than girls tend to. It's a certain path to heartbreak, so Astrid doesn't love him. She can't. Things aren't necessarily platonic with him, and she doubts they will truly ever be, but that doesn't necessitate love. She's got more pressing issues to deal with.

She thinks she wants to love him, but won't let herself. She is waiting for some sense of surety, to know that she will be able to catch Hiccup the way he's learned to do with his own set of wings, and she wants to know he'd do the same for her the way Stormfly is always underneath her even when Astrid jumps off a boat or a cliff or a tree when she's fighting. She and Hiccup are still learning each other, getting used to the speed in which they plummet from the sky so that they can catch the other perfectly. It takes practice and time, but while Astrid is a hard and determined worker, Hiccup can pick up things faster than anyone else.

By the time she thinks she's ready enough to catch him, he's already jumping off greater heights in a bigger battle with a new dragon rider.

---

Hiccup comes back bringing tales of a dragon army. Astrid is in disbelief. Impossible. Johann had only wanted to start making one and Hiccup had ensured he'd never get the chance - so how could there already be a dragon army? The chief reacts immediately, shutting down the stables, calling for all the weapons to be sharpened. "We must prepare for war," the chief declares, and Astrid's heart freezes. It hadn't even reached a full two years since the last war. True, Berk wasn't entirely in the war the whole time, but Astrid remembers the attacks vividly. She remembers Hiccup arriving at Berk almost in tears, having been chased from his current home and ally's island. She remembers how defeated he was, seeing all the dead dragons. She remembers catching him throwing up behind the bushes after they had collected the corpses. And she sees the fear on Hiccup's face, the flashbacks he has barely begun to get over. He has worked so hard to stop Johann from amassing a dragon army but now this Drago person has one?

"Dad, wait," he pleads. "We - we have to stop him. Let's go find him, and change his mind." The chief brushes him off briskly.

"No. Some minds won't be changed, Hiccup." She can see the flash of defiance in his eyes, can practically feel the retort and counterevidence balancing on the tip of his tongue, but he just glares at the Chief. Stoick calls for everyone to gather and begins the lockdown. And Hiccup, like the twenty two year old he is, hops onto Toothless and takes off. Astrid runs to Stormfly, having anticipated his move. He's never hard to read in cases like these, and it's Hiccup: Hiccup who can achieve the impossible no matter what the odds. This is one of the stories that's going to go down in the sagas written about him, she knows. And maybe, just maybe, she'd be able to keep up this time. Maybe she can be an important part of this tale, too.

But in a confusing mix of following and disobeying orders, she misses it. Stoick leaves her in charge of getting the A Team back to Berk, but she sends them ahead to protect the island while she, Fishlegs, Snotlout, and the Thorston twins go to ensure Drago hasn't captured their Chief or their soon-to-be one. It doesn't go well. Somehow, Stoick and Hiccup weren't there but Drago wants to find them. They fly to this huge formation of ice and all of a sudden hordes of dragons are erupting from the ice, flying toward Drago's fleet of ships. There's fighting and betrayal - she's brought a dragon trapper with her to locate Drago and now he was tagging along after Drago tried to dispose of him. Hiccup has a mother who rises on a dragon with four wings and directs another Bewilderbeast. Everything happens so fast that when she takes a ragged breath as the Bewilderbeast vanishes under the ocean she's not sure she didn't dream it all up. But now Chief Stoick is dead and chief no longer; Hiccup is. And something wants to scream in Astrid's chest as she sees Hiccup lose his dad the same day he finally regained his mother. She wants to comfort him. She wants to step up and take his hand and tell him it isn't fair. She wants to let him collapse and grieve but now isn't the time because Berk is in danger and Hiccup is the new leader. And it isn't proper. She has no claim to him and isn't even sure he'd take her comfort, and that moment of hesitation costs her as someone new steps up.

Astrid's not sure how to feel about a strange new woman stepping up next to Hiccup and laying a hesitant hand on his shoulder. Hiccup has grown up without a mother because of this lady, and he was already so brittle inside. He has only just fixed his relationship with his father and even then it has still been rocky - now that Stoick's dead, replacing him with Hiccup's mother is ridiculous. Hiccup isn't very good with relationships. The Dragon Riders clearly respect him and would follow him to hell and back - but Hiccup never confides in them about anything except strategy. It was strictly a relationship between boss and employee, not one between friends. Everyone had abandoned him, especially his mother. But at this point, Astrid thinks Hiccup's just grateful for his mother's touch as he gathers his strength to lead them. It is an inspiring thing, watching him go from despair to squaring his shoulders, the way he reinforces the steel in his eyes as he tells them, "A Chief protects his own. We're going back." And Astrid is elated, in a way, but so, so sad. He's taking on everything on his own even as she wishes he understood he could lean on her.

---

Hiccup takes on Drago and his Bewilderbeast all on his own, just like the Red Death. He soars high above Berk while they cheer him on. How could they not? It's Hiccup. Their opinion of him has changed so much in six years, does he know that? Eret, the trapper that they had brought along with them, takes in the village's confidence in Hiccup with wide eyes. Astrid nudges him.

"Watch this," she smirks. It takes another near death experience which freezes Astrid's breath and heart, but Hiccup and Toothless defeat the big dragon just like everyone thought they would, and they break into cheers.

Hiccup is perched on a giant slab of ice, a newly awakened alpha roaring in his defense. The dragons all flap around around him like a colorful, dangerous halo. And Berk moves to stand behind him, too. The island is in disarray and many seem to be taking note of the absence of Chief Stoick, but standing behind Hiccup takes no convincing at all. They all trust him, and he delivers each time. Astrid feels a manic smile begin to spread across her face, and turns to look at the slim Dragon Rider fearlessly protecting Berk instead of the gargantuan dragon in front of him.

To Hel with it all, she thinks slightly deliriously. To Hel with wondering about whether or not she cared for him, to Hel with convincing herself it wasn't love. That man right there is the one she's in love with, and will always love, come Hel or high water.

She's attracted to him, sure. She has been for a long time, but it's more than that. He is almost like some sort of bridge between the heavens and the dragons and the Vikings, with his ideas that could rival Loki in their cunning and the heroic leadership of Thor. He rides the offspring of lightning and death itself and wields a sword of fire, but Astrid does not love him for that.

She loves the man, not the godly being or the new chief, but the boy she's watched grow from hunched shoulders and bitter flinches into a well worn leader. A man who makes mistakes but will always repay them tenfold. A man who is broken and tries to patch himself up anew for his people so that he can serve them better. A man who, even after everything, still believes in change and making things better. A man who cradles her face the way one is delicate with a lethal weapon. A man who lets his armor of bravado fall around her and tells her his secrets. The man who, despite everything, never truly looked down on Astrid by virtue of being a woman or younger than him. And in return, she loves his mortal, flawed, ridiculous self because no one will ever see him as well as she does.

And that's that, because when Astrid Hofferson decides to love someone, she does so wholeheartedly. She submerges herself with her eyes open after taking a fortifying breath and accustoms herself with the world under the influence of her feelings.

I'm in love with you, she tries out the words in her head. She lets the adrenaline crash over her, the relief and the warm flush of admiration expand her chest and spill out of her eyes.

Being in love feels right, she decides. She knows now without a doubt that she is certainly in love with him, and so cannot avoid accepting it the way she had previously. But it's a little overwhelming. It itches under her skin and makes her fingers tingle. So she stands there and focuses on breathing, letting the horde of cheering Vikings brush past her.

She doesn't have a chance to go up to him personally and congratulate him; he's already swallowed up by well wishers and clutching his newfound mother's hand in a desperate vise.

Beside her, Eret takes in her face and swivels his head between her and the newly crowned chief as he kneels before Gothi. Ah, his lips part and his eyes widen as a soft smile spreads across his face in reaction to the vulnerable expression the haughty, beautiful woman is making in front of him.

He has already chosen to remain upon this strange island, where dragons and humans live in peace. He does not know where his crew could be, nor if he could ever rejoin them after he had been so fiercely protected by Stormfly, the magnificent blue Nadder who is the perfect match for the rider standing next to him.

The newly crowned Chief of Berk is a strange man who's accepted him without fuss, and Eret has seen the desperate looks for reassurance the Night Fury rider - Hiccup - had cast towards the girl to make sure she was okay and now this soft, awestruck look she gives him in return.

Eret doesn't just have a new Chief to serve, but a Chieftess as well.

---

The next problem, Astrid thinks, is figuring out how to tell him. Astrid is not a coward, and yet a little apprehension is to be expected when it comes to potentially confessing love to the legendary chief of Berk. But figuring out what to say to him is a problem she can only figure out once she actually has a chance of talking to him, which has suddenly become surprisingly difficult.

She must not have ever realized the full scope of chiefing that Stoick had done. In the past years, a good deal has been split with Hiccup taking on some of the easier or occasionally time consuming tasks along with anything to do with dragons and occasionally working at the smithy. Now, Hiccup's always running to Council meetings, directing construction workers in a desperate bid to make room for more dragons, or trying to hold a conversation with someone while three or more advisors hover behind him and badger him with problems.

Astrid doesn't begrudge him his sudden unavailability; they have to recover from losing their chief and almost losing their island. That requires a lot of preparation and soothing. So Astrid decides to take on the burden as much as she can. She leads the A Team to melt the ice and store the water, then helps direct people collecting lumber and other supplies to fix broken houses. The Berk Guard is on high alert and she goes to Fishlegs for an inventory of all the damages the island has sustained, crossing off as many tasks as she can. By her calculations, they can make up what they've lost in approximately four months, especially if they can train the new dragons to aid in construction and gathering supplies.

But Hiccup has always exceeded expectations, and Astrid finds herself caught by surprise when Hiccup commissions a great sculpture of his dad before the previous chief's features can be lost to memory and reinstates the Dragon Races. Her brow furrows in disbelief at first; doesn't Hiccup know that doing this will set construction back considerably and that the maintenance needed for Dragon Racing is extremely high? And then she takes in the cheering around her, how dull, grieving eyes light up around her in excitement and turns to look back at the chief in front of her with awe.

Hiccup is so often filled with discomfort to the point he forgets no one else can handle it as well. Astrid has been sent by the others many times to make him let them off the hook when he had them working too hard. And now she sees the young leader in front of her willingly adding more work on his shoulders in exchange for his villagers' happiness. His eyes are sharp as he observes the chaos in the Great Hall, a satisfied gleam in his eyes that belies his dark circles. His mother hovers behind him, her hand ready to steady him at a moment's notice and Eret the trapper is standing bracingly in front of him like a protective shield.

He has grown into the great leader Astrid saw the makings of back when they were still children on the cusp of treason. She has chosen him as the one she'd follow and she'd chosen well.

Now is as good a time as any to tell him, she figures. She's not sure what she's going to do if every time she is proud of him she feels a surge of deep, aching love, so she needs to get it off her chest or at least figure out how to deal with it. Maybe Hiccup will help her.

She pushes through the crowd. The mead has been broken out, and while there is no merry dancing, Berkians gather in groups to drunkenly reminisce on Stoick the Vast. Even Spitelout Jorgenson, the one who liked to challenge the chief the most, mourns the close relationship he had had with the great man.

Hiccup does not partake in the discussion, still standing by the podium. His mother has drifted away from him, drawn to the stories of her long lost husband and hearing of his kindness and interactions with dragons. Eret remains by Hiccup's side, quietly vigilant and probably a little shy in the face of a new island where he has no connections. He is listening intently to the stories and interactions around him, mirroring Toothless in his lazy recumbency by the chief. The Night Fury is holding a court of his own; Stormfly is helping preen his scales and Terrible Terrors perch around him.

Eret spots her and inclines his head respectfully towards her before stepping slightly aside. Astrid blinks back her surprise at his deference and shoots a quick smile at him in bewildered thanks. Hiccup catches her eye and, instead of greeting her like he normally does, looks away from her. Astrid frowns.

"Hiccup," she acknowledges him.

"Hi, Astrid," he says distantly. Astrid cocks her head, examining him. She wonders how she should start the conversation. Hiccup doesn't seem to be in a mood to talk, but she finally has a chance to talk to him and won't let it go to waste.

"You made a good choice," she decides on saying. "It'll mean a lot more work, but I can see the good it's doing."

"Thanks," he mutters. She inhales a slow, careful breath. Unhelpful Hiccup is a well known person, but Thor damn it's hard to confess her feelings to him when he's in an unreceptive mood.

"How have you been?" she asks to try to gauge how much of his mood could be improved by making him better taken care of.

"I've been okay, Astrid," he says in what's supposed to be a reassuring voice, but it's too quiet and he's avoiding her eyes too much for it to work. He raises his head, glancing quickly at the crowd to search for an escape.

"Hiccup-" she begins.

"I uh, actually see Sven right now," he interrupts her hastily. "It's, um, really important. Sorry," he excuses himself and walks past her, oddly careful of not brushing against her. She turns and blinks at his retreating figure, stunned.

It occurs to Astrid that she's just been rejected.

---

After that, chief duties swallow him up. They have a whole new nest of relocated dragons to deal with - both from Drago's army and Valka's sanctuary. The Berkians bond with them quickly - they're used to such things after six years. Astrid trains the new batch of Dragon Riders at the Dragon Academy. Hiccup doesn't come by to check in on her. Snotlout or Fishlegs do, the former who used to wiggle his eyebrows at her now never makes a simple pass at her; she idly wonders why that is. But that doesn't mean she appreciates him cutting in and thinking his methods of teaching are better than hers on occasion. She was the one given this duty, not him, although he is preparing to step up as next General since Hiccup won't want to keep Spitelout in that position much longer. Fishlegs mutters a lot and scribbles down notes. It's all Astrid can do to not let her hackles raise because it feels like he's judging her, but she knows that's ridiculous and focuses on whipping her students into shape. Hiccup's not going to rest anytime soon concerning the treatment of dragons both inside the Archipelago and beyond. He's going to need an entire fleet of dragon riders, and Astrid can provide him that.

He never comes around anymore. She sees him slumped over paper or hanging his head in his hands after meetings and she wants to walk up to him and rub his shoulder and let him lose himself in her. But he always pulls himself back up before she can make her mind to go over to him. And she's mad, because they never truly ended whatever they had, but now she's not sure if he ever considered them together or if he really did reject her and she's just not accepting it.

She's just worked up the courage to tell him she's in love with him and nothing is worse than having him avoid her like he knows what she wants to tell him and can't bear to hear it. She can see he's struggling, and that hurts because she wants to help. Hiccup has suffered so much and she was the one who could ease some of the burden off his shoulders. Eret has become a close friend to Hiccup, and Astrid can't help the jealousy as she watches them joke together and the former trapper fly with Hiccup around the island, helping with chiefly duties. It's like she's been relegated to the sidelines, and a part of her rebels at the feeling of being demoted.

She doesn't know why. Is this some sort of punishment? Was there some test she failed that deemed her suddenly unsatisfactory? One day, they are good. They are happy enough, brushing soft kisses over unseen scars to help them heal, and now Hiccup won't even look at her. Part of her wonders if Hiccup had somehow known what she was trying to do. And that would make it worse, if he doesn't want anything to do with her because she loves him. He made her no promises, but Astrid still aches because she thought he would, eventually.

And then there's the possibility that maybe he didn't know. Maybe he truly needed to go away for a different reason other than her, although that still doesn't explain his careful avoidance of her. But maybe he just didn't want her to make an advance at all and didn't recognize her trying to express her feelings.

But that's somehow scarier. At this point the only thing that could be more painful than this unsure rejection would be for him to clearly reject her. Something inside of her shrinks at the thought. She wouldn't be able to bear it. She wouldn't be able to see something cold and unfeeling in his eyes or even pity if he outright rejected her. Even if she's hurt right now and he's avoiding her, they are still friends. If he ever outright rejected her, she's sure they'd never be able to be as close again.

Silence is a coward's weapon. Silence can also be the bravest choice one can make. Astrid doesn't care to examine which one of these cases applies to her. She can settle for what she has. Maybe she's lost the kisses and unspoken habit of seeking the other out, but maybe space is what they need. She loves him, but her feelings are hers. She doesn't need to share them with him. She can keep them to herself and only reveal them in the candlelight of her bedroom when she traces over the letters he's written to her and the few Snoggletog presents he got her out of the gold he stole back from Viggo.

It's fine. She's okay. She didn't want Hiccup to know she loves him anyway.

20 and 23:

The unspoken mutual separation is easier than Astrid expects.

It scares her a little, how they can both just decide to ignore each other outside of any necessary interactions. Astrid goes on like normal and pretends there isn't a gaping hole in her chest, but the sensation is familiar in a way. She survived without him during his reign at the Edge. She knows how to make do without him, even if she catches herself tracking the horizon and knowing instinctively it's the direction Hiccup has flown that day.

She gets new hobbies. She wins the dragon races every time she plays but there is still a sizzling zap of tension that shocks her when Chief Hiccup crowns her the winner.

His rejection pulls and burns like a new wound, but like all wounds do, it heals and she finds herself regarding a fresh emotional scar and resolves to be stronger. She places a new chink of armor over it and then steps back into her fighting stance again.

She won't give that scar a chance to reopen. She guards it carefully until it is strong enough to face the open air like the rest of her scars all over her body. The cause of the wound is not gone. She doesn't love him any less. She hates the fact. She still longs for Hiccup's company. She always has, even when they were little kids and the only friend the other had. Hiccup's company is electrifying and soothing, rather like the rise and fall of her stomach while flying.

She doesn't want to avoid him, she decides. It doesn't matter if Hiccup doesn't feel the same way, she can still enjoy her time with him. And she misses working with him, seeing the immediate effect her efforts have in helping Berk.

So she stops trying to leave the vicinity as fast as possible whenever he enters it. Her nod of acknowledgment becomes more friendly than polite, and good Odin is it easier to communicate with him about questions or standards for the Dragon Riders when she starts to approach him with conversation again.

She's even brave enough to walk up to the Chieftain's house, wondering if he's avoiding her again when no one answers the door. But then she hears the telltale click and thump of Hiccup's uneven gait, and turns to find him walking up the steps to his house.

She walks up to him fearlessly, ignoring the churning in her stomach and thumping of her heart. "Hiccup!" she calls out. He freezes and turns to face her reluctantly. He waits for her to catch up to him. "Hey, Toothless," she greets the Alpha beside him. The Night Fury hums happily as she pets him. "Hiccup," she says again and mentally facepalms.

"Astrid," he says faintly, like he's not sure she isn't a dream. "What are you doing here?" She tucks a stray lock behind her ear. Her bangs were growing long again; she should cut them soon.

"The, uh, patrols have all been switched," she announces. Hiccup stares at her a minute before his brain computes.

"Oh," he says. "Okay, yeah. Good."

"I've submitted the next round's curriculum for the Dragon Academy to Fishlegs for review," Astrid adds. "Also, repairs at the docks were finished this afternoon and the twins returned Sven's sheep." Hiccup's eyes widen.

"Wow," he says at last. "Thank you." Hiccup nods tiredly and Astrid swallows. She feels like she's going to lose this one sided conversation if she doesn't keep talking.

"I could use some help," she says eventually. "I'm not that familiar with all the new dragons we have. The new Dragon Riders need someone who can help them bond and take care of their new dragons. I'm only good with a few species. And I know you're busy," she continues relentlessly when he opens his mouth to deny her. "And so I could take on some things to make up for it. You don't have to check all the repairs or fill out reports or even mediate every argument. I can help."

"I - thanks," he says slowly. She can't help the frown that crosses her face; he sounds so tired. "I was really just going to say that Mom would probably be better at that than me."

"Oh." Astrid can't stop her face from falling.

"Yeah," Hiccup nods, turning away from her. "She should be in the stables. That's where she usually is, anyway."

"Wait!" she cries. "What about the work?" He sighs.

"I can do it myself, Astrid," he says firmly, a frown pulling his eyebrows together and wrinkling his forehead.

"I know," she instantly backtracks, not wanting to insult him. "I just want to help."

"Thank you, Astrid, but you really don't have to." He turns and stumbles into his house. Toothless follows him after sending her a commiserating look. Astrid can't help the sag in her shoulders as she stares at the closed door in front of her.

"Thank you, lass," an unfamiliar voice says behind her. Astrid whirls around, hand flying to her arm bracers that hide a pair of Gronckle Iron knives and only minutely relaxes when she notices the almost scary armor of the Chieftain's mother.

"Hello," she says a little stiffly, unable to gauge what the woman might want from her and a little unsure of the level of respect she should give.

"Hello, dear," the woman responds. She stretches out a hand towards Astrid - the way one slowly reaches out to a spooked dragon; Astrid recognizes the gesture from Hiccup in his Dragon Academy days and is struck by the similarities between this woman and her son. "I couldn't help but overhear you might need my help."

"Oh, yes," Astrid scrambles stupidly, trying to get her brain to restart after being caught off guard. It's nearly impossible for her to struggle to get her bearings after being surprised; her enemies never threw her off for this long.

(But then again, none of her enemies were ever the long lost mother of the strange man she had the misfortune of being in love with. That might have something to do with how off kilter she feels).

"I also couldn't help but think," Hiccup's mother says gently, "that you're a very kind lady; wanting to help the new Dragon Riders and Hiccup like that."

"Oh, no," Astrid laughs awkwardly. "I mean, thank you. But it's nothing. I just want to help."

"Why are you so eager to take on chiefly duties?" the older lady asks with a tilt to her lips that Astrid could almost describe as a smile. Astrid can't help herself but blush.

"No - no reason!" She defends herself. "He just looks really busy and tired, and I'm– less busy and tired." Hiccup's mother hums in thought.

"You know, I can think of a few things you could help with, if you wish," she offers. Astrid frowns.

"Really?" she can't help but ask. The Chieftain's mother lets out a soft huff.

"I know how to help run this village; I was the Chieftess, after all." Now she definitely has a smile on her face and is sending Astrid a knowing look that feels incriminating. She waves her arms in front of her as if warding off the thoughts that threaten to break out onto her cheeks.

"Oh, no - that's not - It's not like that, um … Mrs. Haddock?" she tries to explain. Hiccup's mother cocks her head.

"Call me Valka," she says.

---

Valka takes a liking to her. Astrid likes her, too. Valka's like a more mature and whimsical Hiccup. She moves like a dragon and speaks softly as if she still isn't used to talking out loud. She has the same endearing hesitance of Hiccup and, better yet, doesn't avoid her. Hiccup's mother - Astrid still hasn't gotten over the fact - is an enigma. She's this weird dragon lady that sometimes seems more feral than human (in the back of her mind, Astrid shakes her head in exasperated understanding. So this was where some of Hiccup's habits had come from). Suddenly the chief's mother stops by the Academy to watch and offer wisdom on dragon care or insight into their mannerisms, which Astrid takes gratefully. Astrid is invited to accompany Valka - she insists on being called that, so Astrid obliges - while the older lady takes care of chiefly duties for Hiccup. She often drops little stories of the duties she performed as the former chief's wife, which Astrid absorbs guiltily. She can see what's happening, can see the blatant nudge Valka is giving her when she tells Astrid she'd be good at something that usually the chieftess performs.

In return, Astrid recounts the tales of Hiccup she knows. She tells her of the little boy in the forge who was stupid, and then the young teenager who made a little girl believe dragons were good. She talks of the growing hero who took on the Red Death and Alvin the Treacherous and Dagur the Deranged, until that hero grew into a restless young man who longed for adventure. She shares the glimpses she'd caught of him while he lived at the Edge, and admits some of her concerns regarding what he went through.

"There were others who sold and trapped dragons," she says as she skims through the reports Valka had stolen from her son and handed to her. "He fought back with all he had, but he didn't win every battle." She blinks a few times and is silent for a moment, jotting down a note regarding Mulch's report of Berk's stock of food.

"It was a war he fought mostly on his own," she continues after a while. Valka hums to show she's still listening. "He fought against armies - and killed people. Berk only participated a few times, but for him … he's been in so many wars for his lifetime." Astrid shakes her head. "And he's lonely. And I wish - I wish I could make sure he wasn't, you know, the way he made me realize I was lonely too and then was my friend." She sighs. "It doesn't feel like we're friends anymore," she says wistfully. "It's stupid, I know. The chief doesn't have time for a childhood friend when he's so busy, but - but he should give himself time for a friend. And not just Toothless. I mean, Toothless is great. But Hiccup has always been isolated from the other Vikings; he needs one to remind him, well, we're people. We're his people. And he's not just our leader, he's one of us, too."

"I think you should be the one to tell him that," Valka says casually. Astrid huffs.

"He'd have to look at me first," she replies bitterly.

"He's trying not to," Valka corrects her. Astrid frowns confusedly. "I say, make him look. Make him realize what a fool he was to ever look away." She sighs as she takes in Astrid's surprised face. "He thinks he has to lead alone … because his father had to. But what he doesn't realize is the strength you have together."

One day Hiccup catches Astrid with a stack of reports.

"Astrid!" he cries. "I - oh that's a lot of paper - can I - um -"

"It's fine," she shakes her head in an attempt to wave him off and reassure him. "I just wanted to turn these in to your mom - or you, I guess. They're finished."

"You … did all the reports?" Hiccup asks disbelievingly.

"Yes," Astrid says, jutting her chin forward defiantly. "I wanted to help and Valka let me. I'm good at reports. Anyone can do paperwork. Not everyone can do all the duties of a chief. You should rest more often and shift your reports onto other people."

"That's avoiding responsibility," Hiccup shakes his head.

"Actually," she says with a bite to her tone. "It would be the responsible thing to do so that you're not falling asleep while listening to your villagers." He blushes.

"You saw that, eh?"

"I know it's happened more than once." Her face falls into a softer expression. "You're still human, Hiccup. Remember that."

He doesn't respond and Astrid thinks that's the end of that, but is pleasantly surprised to see he listens to her - at least a little bit.

Astrid gets promoted to the council. At first she's intimidated, sitting at the large table facing the hordes of Berk. She used to be part of that crowd. But she's pleased to find that Berk accepts her position without complaint. She's one of the lead members of the Berk Guard and a beloved teacher. Plus, she'd already been helping around Berk with Valka. Some well established warriors nod approvingly at her, and Ulric Hofferson, House Hofferson's representative, greets her cordially. Hiccup pauses to ask her opinion on certain things before he continues and she manages to respond coherently. He gives her an encouraging nod and she straightens in her seat.

Deep down, she supposes there's still that little girl eager for his approval. But that little girl has grown up, and will prove her worth not just to him, but herself. Next council meeting she has notes and speaks out on the subjects as much as she can. Gobber gives her an impressed look while the chief doesn't look away from her for the rest of the night.

She's closer to the chief in a way that's different from ever before. Before, he'd come to her for reassurances about problems she wasn't currently dealing with, and then they'd meet to escape in each other. Here, though, they don't have the same closeness anymore, but they are working together. She's a part of his world. She's on the Council with him, they are dealing with the same traders and disagreements and political posturing from all the Council members. Now he'll catch her eye with barely disguised amusement when Spitelout goes on another of his rants, or look at her commiseratingly when Sven has yet another complaint about the quality of life his sheep have.

Despite Hiccup's Dragon Riders being on the Council, it is her he looks to first. Astrid tries not to think too much of it; she is better equipped to handle problems and answer questions than Snotlout is with his father's overbearing influence on him. Fishlegs does not rank as high as she does on the Council, but mostly handles administration and presents issues and calculations to them once a month. Astrid and Hiccup are the only ones who can really keep up, having dealt with the paperwork as well. The Thorston Twins are the representatives Hiccup turns to when he's stuck and they'll provide a ridiculous perspective that he will somehow manage to translate into a brilliant idea. When Astrid voices her opinion, everyone quiets and turns to listen to her. She sits at the foot of the table, right across from the chief. The Council member's heads swivel between her and Hiccup when they debate different solutions or bounce ideas off of each other. Astrid presses her lips together to prevent the grin threatening to spill over her face at the thrill of power that comes with shooting down Hiccup's ideas without fear or having the Chief light up at one of her ideas. Gobber, Valka, and Snotlout always seem especially smug whenever they finish whichever lighthearted argument they've just resolved, and Astrid clears her throat and sits back down into her seat decorously while Chief Hiccup bites his lip and looks down at the parchment laid out in front of him a little longer than normal.

Astrid wonders if this is what marriage feels like, and then curses the blush that floods her face at the thought. She is a Council member, a trusted advisor of the chief, not a wife. But when she thinks about it, she acts more like a wife than not.

It isn't noticeable at first. She just tends to check in and make sure he's eaten or shoos him out of the Great hall when they'd poured over documents and parchments long enough. That is a normal thing that people do between friends. She argues with him heartily over taxes and dragon rescues and now eats at the chieftain's table in the Great Hall, but that's still something within the realm of close friends.

She doesn't do his laundry or rub his shoulders or kiss him the way she wants to, but she does take a moment to straighten his cloak around his shoulders when they arrive at the Great Hall together and allow their fingers to brush when she hands him a pen or certain map.

The real cincher for everyone is Toothless. Astrid isn't as close with the Night Fury as she'd like to be, but he is the first dragon she ever trusted and flew. With his new duties as Berk's Alpha, he often isn't by Hiccup's side, but rather makes his own rounds among the island and meets up with Hiccup as frequently as he can. But Hiccup is overrun with work and Astrid can see the longing in Toothless' eyes for the sky. Hiccup is probably stopping himself from taking pleasure in flying in an effort to better care for Berk, but Astrid can't have Toothless suffering from Hiccup's own martyr complex.

Flying Toothless really isn't a big deal. Still, it takes Hiccup by surprise when he makes his way outside for a proper lunch and sees Astrid dismounting from his dragon, patting the purring beast lightly on the head and speaking to him. Hiccup cocks his head to the side.

"Ummm," he says slowly and Astrid turns to him, her face lighting up as she catches sight of him. "What were you doing with Toothless?" he asks cautiously. Astrid and Toothless were a scary combo that brought out the mischief in each other, and he wasn't sure he trusted them together.

"Oh, well, Toothless usually has his flight around now," Astrid explains. "And it looked like you were busy so I took him on a ride. It was no trouble; Stormfly was glad to have some company and no saddle."

"Okay," Hiccup says hesitantly, looking at her intensely. Astrid drops her gaze a little.

"I didn't mean to overstep," she says quietly. "I'm sorry if I-"

"No!" Hiccup interrupted. "No. Thank you. It was - it was good. Thanks for taking Toothless out for me. Makes me feel bad. Have I not been flying you enough?" He turns to the Night Fury, scratching under the dragon's chin gently. "Thank you," he repeated, looking up at her. She shrugs nonchalantly.

"Anytime," she says breezily, waving a hand. And so starts the occasional glimpse of the chief's not-betrothed riding on the dragon that no one but the chief was ever allowed to touch.

Astrid's close with Valka, banters easily with Hiccup, and can ride Toothless. It brings her a big smile on her face when she slides into her seat at the table in the Great Hall with them. It feels like she's family. It looks like she's family to anyone else, but she has to remind herself that despite her little fantasy of entering the family, she is still just a friend, nothing more.

Astrid's never been good at dealing with emotions. Her mother had sat her down early in her warrior training to talk about the effect of emotions on fighting. Vikings didn't have much need for feelings in their day to day life. If one was a fighter, they wouldn't be a great warrior without being able to recognize and control emotions so that they wouldn't get the better of them in a case of life and death.

Astrid knew how to recognize feelings pretty well, but what to do with them was harder. Mostly, she'd set her feelings aside with a mental nod of acknowledgement to them and expel them later in one great burst with a battle cry and a few well aimed axe throws. She also pushed out great puffs of air through her nose when she felt the itch to throw someone. And whoever dared to take her up on her offer to spar was always fair game for anything.

But apparently she didn't have as great a handle on them as she'd thought. It was one thing to not act on feelings, another thing entirely to mask them from her face, especially when she recounts the events of the day to her mother and cannot mask the fondness in her voice when she speaks of the chief.

"And when's the wedding?" Mother asks archly as Astrid allows herself an eye roll when remembering how Hiccup had attempted to settle the dispute between Svenson and Larson.

"Wha - I - excuse me?" Astrid splutters, caught off guard. "I - um, no. Whatever made you think -"

"Your face says it all," Mother shakes her head. "It isn't obvious to those who don't know what love looks like on you, but your father makes the exact same face."

Astrid is flabbergasted. The face Papa makes when he looks at Mother is absolutely disgusting with how obvious it is, and while she can't see her face very well, she likes to think she'd be able to tell if her face went all soft and wide the way Papa's did. Mother just laughs and waves her off.

"You and he are closer than anyone," her mother says matter of factly. "It's only natural that he'd seek out a beautiful young girl like you for comfort and intimacy." Astrid pouts. She's not sure how to get out of this conversation. But how does she tell her mother that it's already happened - the soft, experimental kisses on sunny afternoons, the tentative sharing of inner thoughts treasured in the cup of her palms, afraid to jostle and spill the precious secrets - and she doesn't know how to get it back. Something to that effect shows on her face, and Mother's teasing grin melts into something more understanding.

"Oh, child," she sighs as Astrid blinks back treacherous tears of shame. "Men are foolish. Your boy is too busy staring off into the horizon to see the wonderful woman he has beside him."

But is he really? Astrid can't help but wonder if perhaps she's just not right enough and Hiccup knows it.

---

She realizes much to her chagrin that she really is as far gone as her father. Hiccup says something stupid and she aches to kiss him. The Berkians look to her almost as much as they do Hiccup, and she can't help but imagine herself at his side, her hand twined with his instead of respectfully at her side.

She's happy with nothing more than friendship from Hiccup, but finds herself wishing he was a little more open to marriage the way she was.

"Maybe ye should get married," Gobber teases Hiccup good naturedly at dinner one night. Astrid stiffens in her seat, sitting on the other side of Gobber. Hiccup laughs self-consciously while shaking his head vigorously.

"Oh, Thor, no," he protests, taking an unusually large sip from his cup of mead. Gobber laughs uproariously.

"Eh? Why not, lad? None o' us are getting any younger 'round here, and a wife could do ye good." Gobber pats Astrid on the back none too subtly and she tries not to choke on her bite of chicken.

"Thanks, Gobber, but I'll pass," Hiccup tells him dryly. Astrid averts her eyes, offended.

It hurts. She's ready. Her parents are slowly prodding her about weddings and children and suchlike, and she is holding them off with the fact that she and Hiccup aren't together like that at all, but there's something so definitive with Hiccup's refusal to even marry.

What, she thinks, swirling her drink around in her cup, am I such a bad option?

She's a little salty when she and Valka sit down together that night amid stacks of parchment.

"Maggot's baby needs to be christened," Valka makes a note and Astrid hums in response.

"I think Hiccup's got that," she says, unable to fully mask the bitterness in her tone at the thought of Hiccup blessing babies and his resounding oh Thor, no, making her want to throw something.

"It'd be good to have a woman's touch, no?" Valka tries to prod, but Astrid is not having it.

"Well then you can go," she responds testily.

"Astrid-"

"Why are you doing this?" Astrid asks Valka directly. "You're not subtle, you know. I can see what you're doing. Why are you pushing me towards being chieftess?" Why push her towards a position she can never have? Valka looks surprised, and cocks her head to the side as she studies her.

"Do … not want it?" she asks slowly. Astrid blushes.

"I - no, it's not that," she admits. "I just - why would you choose me? And does it even matter if Hiccup won't?" She bit her lip and slouched in her seat despondently.

"What makes you think Hiccup wouldn't … what is he not doing?" Valka asks carefully, still a little taken about by Astrid's harshness. Astrid feels a wave of shame roll through her. Maybe this outburst will convince Valka that Astrid is not the right girl for her son. "I'm not blind," Valka admits. "I can see you care for him. And I - I want him to find the same happiness his father and I had. I think he cares for you, too. I think you'd be the best match for him."

"He doesn't want me," Astrid stressed, hating the emotion that clogs her throat as she continues to speak. "He doesn't want to get married: you heard him tonight! And you say all these things like 'make him see' and send me off to do these little ceremonial chores with him and he - he doesn't do anything! I've done everything I can to get close to him. I think I've made my feelings quite clear, and I think he's been pretty clear about not acknowledging them." She lets out a wet laugh and shakes her head. "Just forget it. Neither of us can do anything about it, anyway." She sets her charcoal pencil down and leaves the Great Hall, a little tired, a little defeated, still a little angry.

She wakes up in a better mood the next morning and continues on as normal, training Dragon Riders, going on dragon raids to rescue more and more as Hiccup begins to feverishly track down all of Drago's army and set it free. She and Hiccup are as close as ever, his rebuttal of marriage not forgotten but put behind them to not be addressed.

The dragon raids take place more and more often, sometimes one every few days, and Berk is clearly starting to overflow. Gobber and Eret warn Hiccup about the danger of taking on too much, but Hiccup brushes them off along with Fishlegs' fretting about the calculations of how soon Berk will be uninhabitable.

Astrid understands Hiccup's fixation, though. He's proving to Drago that he can build the very dragon utopia the warlord and Hiccup's father had never gotten to truly see. She can understand his need to disband all the remains of Drago's army that could have taken over Berk had he not been so speedy in reclaiming it. Most of his nights usually end with him slumped over tracking maps or finding a new place to put the freshly rescued dragons. He can't handle a marriage and a wife; so much is changing and he's struggling with keeping up with everything and not straying into unfamiliarity that even he is unable to handle.

But even with all the rescues and careful planning, there came another outside force to throw a whole lot of quartzite at a Gronckle.

21 and 24:

Change comes like a blast from the past. It's been so long since Berk has been attacked by dragons that they almost don't know what to do. Astrid's breath catches as the alarm sounds, the Berk Guard and available Dragon Riders taking to the air while the chief's house and surrounding buildings are decimated with some sort of acid and fire mixture.

The Berkians gather in the Great Hall, hackles raised, righteous indignation boiling dangerously and crackling like lighting over clenched fists and protruding knuckles.

When Hiccup decides to move Berk, the Great Hall riots.

"What do you mean?!" Vikings cry in disbelief. The Council breaks into scandalized shouts and even the Dragon Riders are taken aback. Astrid doesn't know what to think, and looks towards Hiccup for an explanation. He looks tired and worn and frazzled, waving his arms in front of him and attempting to make his voice heard. She slams her axe down on the table, the heavy thunk startling everyone out of their arguing.

"HEY!" she bellows, her voice reverberating and freezing everyone in place. She sucks in a deep breath and looks around at the sea of faces in front of her. "Hear him out," she orders sternly. She straightens up and pulls her axe slowly out of the ancient table before nodding to Hiccup. He dips his head back stiffly.

"Um, thanks," he clears his throat and begins to explain himself.

Astrid doesn't know if she wants to leave. She's lived here her whole life. She's always wanted to explore, and hearing the stories of the Dragon Riders' time at the Edge has not satiated that thirst, but she's not sure she's ready to abandon her home of seven generations.

"But Berk is more than this place. We are Berk! The people, the dragons! I say Berk is wherever we go!" Hiccup declares, impassioned, and Astrid finds herself stirred.

"I'm with him, who else!" shouts Tuffnut and the Great Hall bursts into affirming cheers.

Berk is nervous, packing up their belongings to start anew in a Hidden World. There is no time to bring carefully carved headboards or all of the carefully woven tapestries aboard the longships. There is no way to save the place under the tree Astrid grew up under, the spot on the dock where she watches ships come and go, no way to preserve the Arena's clawed walls filled with a soft, friendly dragon's touch instead of the tortured creatures that used to dwell there. But despite the loss of physical memories, the island is bolstered by their trust in their chief.

Hiccup has been the one to lead Berk into hardship and then out of it better than before. He was a hardship in the dragon raids but then put a stop to them. He lost Berk's gold and then brought more back with allies. Berk may lose its island now, but they look forward to what they know Hiccup will surely bring them instead.

And they are right. After a day of intense flying, the chief stops on a large island. It is high, almost impossible to reach, which is good for defense, and the stone masons eye the cliffs with a critical eye and decide it will be easy enough to carve steps and install pulleys to load and unload ships. The land is fertile, as evidenced by the soft dirt under their feet when they dismount from their ships and dragons. The farmers crouch down to feel the clumps of the dirt between their fingers in wonder and the sheep bleat in ecstasy at the green, delicate grass.

Vikings spread out, searching for the best plots of land. Gobber throws down a hoe and declares the space his new smithy. She hears people around her debate if this island truly is the Hidden World, some magical place just for them. Astrid looks around the place and sees promise.

Hiccup finds her amid the Vikings setting up tents and stands beside her.

"Do you think I'm crazy?" he asks. Astrid turns to him contemplatively. She wouldn't say he's as sane as most Vikings, but she doesn't think that that's necessarily a bad thing.

"I think this whole thing is very … you," she settles on saying and his shoulders slump.

"Yeah," he shrugs. "Anyway. Thanks for supporting me last night. It really meant a lot." Astrid can't stop the smile that spreads across her face.

"Of course," she tells him, turning to look for the Hofferson ship to unload her family's belongings into the tent. She pats his shoulder gently and Hiccup leans into her touch just slightly.

"I didn't tell everyone to start building a new island," Hiccup grumbles. "We still haven't found the Hidden World." Astrid tilts her head to the side.

"Well, we'll probably need a base to deal with other Vikings, won't we?" she asked rhetorically. "Maybe we should build another island here, too." Hiccup huffs out a laugh.

"I guess," he says in a way that tells Astrid he hadn't thought of that before. She holds back a smirk.

So, Berkians start to build on the new island, affectionately dubbed New Berk for now, and if she knows Berkians well, it will probably stay named that for eternity.

(New Berk is only one of the many names they are given. "Flying Island" is also a popular one, especially among their future allies.)

Meanwhile, Valka goes to cover their tracks and Astrid joins the other members of the Berk Guard to start to plan the defenses for the island. It's a given that Grimmel, the Night Fury Killer, will find them. The only question is when.

They spend days acclimating themselves to the island and building feverishly. They have more dragons to plan for, and endless resources. Berkians have always been quick at building houses, even more so with the dragons helping. A new hall is laid out, sprawling, wide streets are planned, and the Whispering Deaths carve out protective underground caves they will go back and build on after the rest of the houses are finished.

Hiccup loses himself at Gobber's little blacksmith stand. Astrid passes by and sees makeshift walls covered in blueprints of what looks like a Night Fury tail. She snorts and rolls her eyes. He was far from the only one who had barely slept in the excitement.

When Valka returns, she brings the terrible news that Grimmel has brought an army and is following them leisurely. They seem to know exactly where Berk's gone.

Astrid can see the way Hiccup stiffens as his mother relays this information. He looks around at the new island, the small fires Vikings are huddled around and Astrid can see the paltry defenses in place. They had thought they'd have more time. Hiccup frowns and everyone around him hushes, looking at him expectantly. They all know what this look entails. It means Hiccup's about to draw on one of his crazy plans that is very likely to succeed.

No one is that surprised when he decides to 'bring the fight to them' and kidnap Grimmel himself. Toothless is currently out so Astrid invites Hiccup to ride along with her and Stormfly. They take off, ready to gain an upper hand on Grimmel.

But oh, things couldn't go smoothly.

---

It occurs to Astrid in the aftermath of escaping Grimmel rather than capturing him and losing Ruffnut in the process– that Hiccup is struggling more than she thought.

Everyone dismounts somberly, Hiccup slipping off of Stormfly silently and faces the scared faces around him. The Berkians run to him, eagerly awaiting good news. He curls his shoulders and hangs his head, his arms held over him protectively. Berk looks at him in surprise. It isn't often Hiccup's plans go so awry, and while the Dragon Riders are far more used to being held hostage, Astrid hasn't felt a loss like this, well ever.

"I'm sorry," Hiccup apologizes desperately. "Look, we'll find a way to get Ruffnut back. I just need to think."

Astrid studies him and wonders at his insecurity in their belief in him. He treats every mistake like it's the end of the world for him, like a mistake would be enough for Berk to cast him out.

"He thinks he has to lead alone," Valka says from beside her. Valka makes a pained noise of contemplation. "Ah, because his father had to. But what he doesn't realize is the strength we all have together."

That's not all Hiccup doesn't realize, Astrid thinks. She remembers a passing thought about him back when she was thirteen and he was still a skinny boy hiding in the smithy: boys are stupid. It almost makes her want to laugh.

"Do you still believe in him?" Valka prods. Astrid shoots an incredulous look at her.

"Of course," she says matter of factly. She raises an arm to limply gesture at everyone. "We all do. But … he thinks he's nothing if he's not perfect." And that's the problem. Hiccup expects so much out of himself, but even when the Berkians demand so much, they can recognize that he is still mortal and fallible.

It's clear to Astrid that she isn't the best option for comfort right now, so instead she brings Hiccup with her to find Toothless. The bond between Hiccup and Toothless has always been extensive and mystifying, but they are more alike than any two souls she's ever seen. If anyone had a chance of helping Hiccup through this, it was Toothless.

They have a companionable silence as Stormfly tracks Toothless' scent. Hiccup arms fall loosely around her waist and he is resting his chin on her shoulder. They still have their armor on from the previous failed mission, but without their helmets and sense of urgency it occurs to Astrid that this is closer and more intimate than they have been in a while. The chief has never touched her this way, and a thrill runs through Astrid that she tries not to show.

It feels like her first flight on Toothless, except reversed. The Hidden World exists - not that she'd doubted Hiccup's belief in it, but for it to be so close is surprising - and Astrid can't help but scream when Stormfly drops gracefully into the giant waterfall, Hiccup's arms tightening in alarm around her. But as they straighten out, Stormfly's wings beating reassuringly as they pass under the mineral-dense spray, they go lax in wonder at the sight around them. Hiccup's breath catches in his throat and then releases. She can feel his chest press into her back as he leans forward to point at the luminescent dragon eggs around them.

On Toothless, Astrid had been introduced to a new world that was similar to her old one, but worked differently. Astrid cannot see Hiccup's face very well, but as she turns to almost touch a Fireworm she catches sight of Hiccup's face. It's soft and soulful and makes her wonder when the last time he'd ridden Toothless out of pure enjoyment was. Here, Hiccup sees a world that is everything he wants, and she thinks it acts like a balm. Hiccup is the one that brought them here. He's succeeded at so many things and here is yet another triumph to show him the things he achieves are so much more than the ones he loses.

And even when things go awry and they come to the sharp realization that the Hidden World can only be for dragons and not humans, Astrid thinks that the dragons were the right medicine for Hiccup – a reminder of what he's worked for and that his mistakes are made protecting them.

When they return to New Berk Hiccup turns to Toothless, a conflicted look on his face. Astrid steps away to give him some privacy, thanking Stormfly quietly when Ruffnut arrives. They question her, stunned, and Hiccup reaches Astrid's conclusion before she does and turns to bolt after Toothless.

Astrid runs to the cliffs after him, frantically following the sudden horde of dragons that race about her, wondering if somehow another Bewilderbeast came to take control of Berk's dragons, but the dragons' eyes are all clear. She pulls up shortly at the sight of Toothless and the Light Fury beside Grimmel, tied up and suspended on a weird crossbow like contraption.

"Don't look like that!" Grimmel crows from his metal yoke. "You tried your best! But you are nothing without your dragon." The dragons under Grimmel's command begin to fly away, followed by all of Berk's dragons. Astrid looks at Hiccup. His face is pale and gutted. Her hackles rise as she whips her head back to face Grimmel, seething with hate at him taking their dragons and hurting Hiccup in the process.

It doesn't take long for the word to spread: Grimmel has followed them to their new island. There are no defenses set up and their greatest weapons, their dragons, have been captured. They are stranded on an island, no way yet to reach the water or leave. Hiccup stands still, watching the retreating dragons while the Dragon Riders gather on the cliff. Valka turns to send all the other Vikings away, telling them they need to focus more on the construction after all while Hiccup figures things out. A feeling of helplessness has descended on everyone by the cliffs. Eret looks like he wants to do something but isn't sure what, and Snotlout is muttering to himself, trying for once to think of something himself. Fishlegs is loitering by a guilty looking Ruffnut, relieved she's made it back unscathed. Tuffnut has his arms crossed and is staring at Hiccup's back a little ways away. Astrid startles when she feels Valka's hand land on her shoulder.

"He'll listen to you," she says and Astrid wants to protest but five more pairs of eyes turn towards her hopefully.

"Me?" Astrid asks a little helplessly. Valka nods firmly in answer.

"Go," Fishlegs encourages her. Astrid eyes Hiccup incredulously and then takes a deep breath.

Here goes, she thinks as she takes a step forward. The next step is easier than the first, her legs loosening as she walks toward him, an invisible string reeling her in until she's in place.

Hiccup sees her coming and holds up his hand.

"Don't say it," he says. Astrid raises an eyebrow.

"I wasn't going to," she assured him, holding her hands up in surrender.

"I shouldn't have gone," his head falls into his hands. "I should have never brought him back. She wouldn't have followed - none of this would have happened." Astrid lets him vent. There's nothing they can do to change the past, she thinks. But Hiccup has always been the type to scrutinize the past until he was able to notice something extraordinary, so she waits for him to finish. "It's like I'm the same screw up I was before I met Toothless."

"Hey!" she cries, whipping her head to Hiccup. Why would you say that? She wants to demand. But she's seen her parents when one is being unreasonable, and couldn't help but take notes, even with Hiccup's aversion to marriage. "Why do you think that?" she asks instead. She frowns. "Hiccup, you don't believe Grimmel, do you?"

Hiccup stares forlornly at the edge of the cliff. Astrid tugs on his hand, bending down a little to meet his lowered eyes.

"I am the person I am today because of you," Astrid straightens, looking at Hiccup's downturned face for a beat longer before she plows onward. "I never told you that but it's true." She has wanted to tell him for years, wanted to put in words the reasons she was still here, still hopeful, still (Freya forbid) pining.

I love you, rises up in her throat. "I was the first to believe in you. And I have watched you doubt your worthiness ever since. But you know what? You - you are the bravest, the kindest, the most stubborn, determined knucklehead I know. You're a great leader who tries to take too much of the burden on his own. You care for everyone, even those who don't deserve it. You've always been like that. I've always looked up to you not because you're perfect, but because you're a good person. You fail and make mistakes and you get back up and believe in the goodness in people. You try to be there for everyone to the point where you never give yourself time to take care of yourself. Toothless… didn't give you that, Hiccup. He just made it …" she trails off, looking at him silently.

"Easier," Hiccup says, finally looking up to meet her eyes. A relieved smile spreads across her face.

"Exactly," she says. She glances past the edge of the cliff towards the fleet of ships that captured all her dragons. "And now it's going to be a lot harder." Hiccup huffs out a mirthless laugh. "So?" she asks, turning back to him. "What are you going to do about it?"

"Eh," he shrugs. "Probably something stupid."

"Great," she tells him. "Because you were plenty stupid before you met Toothless."

"Astrid," he breathes, turning to her with an awed expression on his face. She blushes but doesn't look away. They're standing a little ways away from the Dragon Riders, far enough to be out of earshot but still in view. That doesn't stop him from reaching towards her face and cupping her cheek oh-so-gently. She can't stop her eyelids from fluttering, the phantom memory of his lips brushing across hers suddenly feels so real, even as the Hiccup in front of her makes no move to close the distance.

He stares at her, his green eyes taking in every detail of her face. His expression is open and soft, and Astrid feels her heart speed up.

She's never been sure of his feelings. She used to think he must like her a little bit, back when they were still healing in the aftermath of the Edge. And then she'd thought she'd read everything wrong, and no matter how close they got over the Council, she would never allow herself to hope, not after his clear dismissal of marriage or anything that could tie him to her.

But here - here she lets the warmth from his eyes soak into her. It's an expression she's all too familiar with. She recognizes the slackness in his face and the steady, deep breaths taken to soak in the other's presence. She can see the longing and the awe and devotion in his eyes and her stomach feels weightless, like she's plummeting off a cliff alongside her dragon the same way she's seen Hiccup do it for years.

He loves her, she sees, and it's all she can do not to react. She wants to break away from him and the intoxication that's becoming nigh unbearable and she also wants to melt into him and be even closer. She wants to shout for joy and kiss him the way she's wanted to do for the past two years. For a moment, her and Hiccup's heart beat as one, staring into each other's eyes, a moment of peace in the midst of all the destruction and uncertainty.

And when they're outfitted in their wingsuits, staring resolutely at the fleet of ships while they prepare to jump off a cliff and face it with nothing more than the weapons on their backs, they might have been intimidated. But then Hiccup gives her a smile before leaping off the cliff, his eyes welcoming, daring, challenging, and what else would Astrid do but follow?

It's so much easier to fall for a person who jumps off first.

---

The aftermath of the dragons leaving is somber and foreign.

It's strange: dragons have only been a part of their lives for the past eight years, but living without them feels strange and unnatural. Even when they hadn't been allies and family, dragons were still an inescapable constant. Now they have to learn to exist with a piece of them missing.

Everyone is subdued and a little lost. Construction has suddenly become a lot harder without the dragons to help carry the material. The elaborate plans for all their houses need to be reevaluated in terms of importance, and getting everything done before winter suddenly seems like a lot more of a struggle.

The chief takes careful inventory of the island and discusses land plots with his citizens, taking into account families with younger kids as he plans the first few homes to be focused on after the Great Hall can be finished.

Astrid steps in. This is where she shines. She's worked with Hiccup for almost over a year now doing this exact sort of thing. It's easy - effortless - to slip into a routine, going over the reports and soothing Berkians while they establish their new home.

At first, it's even better this time around. Before, their interactions were more of a friendly flirtation, but now every brush of their fingertips feels heavy and promising. His eyes linger on their every point of contact, a softness in his face that she has rarely seen with the disappearance of Toothless. And then his face changes. It grows a little more distant, and he withdraws his hand self consciously. The next day he markedly keeps her at arm's length.

Oh. Oh. Astrid knows what this is. She knows where this is going. This is a repeat of what happened after Hiccup took over the chiefdom. She remembers how he pulled away and how it hurt, but why would he do that now? It doesn't make sense that he'd be unreceptive to her advances. She knows he wants her. The awed delicacy in his eyes when he looks at her hasn't changed, and she knows there is no other explanation for having that look directed only at her.

So now this isn't a case of whether or not he's rejecting her, but rather what's holding him back? She's so sick of his grateful smiles that make her feel like she's got the moon cupped in her hands only for him to absently brush past her the next day on purpose. She's never been sure how to handle the hot and cold their relationship sometimes afforded, and she isn't planning on learning now.

She hates this. And it's dumb for her to want a solution in the midst of building a new Berk from scratch. They don't have time for feelings right now, but at the same time, this rebirth of their village is the perfect time to start anew.

The day she confronts him is normal and unassuming, but inside she's reached her boiling point. Hiccup's been quite receptive to her for the past few days, but when she sees him after lunch and greets him, he looks away and gives her a non answer.

Astrid's not quite sure why this sets her off. Perhaps it had been Tuffnut and Ruffnut's bickering over who was allowed in whose house and Snotlout and Fishlegs fighting over the closest plot of land to Ruffnut. Maybe it was the way the carpenter's newly married daughter thought the building of her house had more priority than the family of four with an ailing grandparent. Maybe it's because she had been looking forward to Hiccup commiserating with her and giving her that lopsided, apologetic smile. Either way, she decides that it is unacceptable and she refuses to take it any longer.

"Not this again," she hisses under her breath. "Forget it," she says loudly and spins on her heel.

When Hiccup brings her a stack of reports later on in the afternoon, he approaches her cautiously.

"How are you feeling? You okay?" he asks tentatively. Their eyes meet before he looks away hurriedly and Astrid is annoyed again.

"You tell me," she says passive aggressively. He hesitates.

"I feel like that's a trick question."

"Really? What else do you feel like?" she asks pointedly. He sighs.

"I'm just going to go-" he turns around, eager to escape her ire, but Astrid doesn't let him.

Astrid grabs Hiccup's arm and pulls. Hiccup turns to her confusedly. Her emotions are beginning to bubble up and she's having trouble breathing steadily. "Just look at me," she snaps. He does, reluctantly. "Do you see me?" she asks.

"Yes, of course-"

"No. Do you see me, Hiccup? Have you been seeing me?" He's silent, trying to figure out what to say. "I'm here, Hiccup. I've been here the whole time. Right here. But I don't feel like you've ever seen me. You get - glimpses - and then you just forget them."

"I don't understand-"

"I just keep waiting for you to choose me and you never do!" Astrid screams, the words tearing themselves out of her throat. Hiccup stands there, shocked. "I have been trying to be the person you need but you - you need to be the person I need, too. I want you, Hiccup, but you have to want me too."

"Astrid," Hiccup breathes.

"I'm sick of you just apologizing and doing nothing! And I'm sick of waiting on you to get over whatever excuses you have to keep yourself away from me! Look, whatever you choose, I can handle it. And if I'm not what you want, then that's fine. I can deal with that. But I need an answer. Now. You can't ignore me anymore."

Hiccup shifts his weight off of his bad leg and looks away guiltily. Astrid is struck with a horrific thought.

"Do you find me inadequate?" She demands. He looks at her, shocked. "Was I not good enough?" She continues. "Do I not help you the way you need? What did I do? Why did I come so close to being something only for you to just shut me out?"

"What?" he stares at her in disbelief.

"You want me," Astrid says, stepping closer to him. He takes half a step back, but doesn't entirely remove himself from her presence. He shyly meets her eyes in confirmation. Her body thrums at that. He does want her. "What's the problem?"

"I just wasn't sure it was the same for you," Hiccup shrugs, avoiding her eyes.

"That's ridiculous!" Astrid cries. "Hiccup. How could you not know I love you?" she asks desperately. He shakes his head.

"I was just never sure!" He defends himself.

"Sure of what?" she can feel a shriek building up in her throat.

"I didn't know if you loved me or the hero. I'm not perfect, Astrid," he tells her. "You know that."

"Of course I do," Astrid replies hotly. "You didn't know if I loved you wholly and so you cut me off instead of asking me?"

"I was terrified!" he raises his voice and her eyebrows jump in surprise at his change in volume, but she doesn't move away. "I didn't know when I'd do something to finally dim the light in your eyes when you look at me so I couldn't let you near enough for it to happen! How could you possibly love me, Astrid? I'm a monster! The things I've seen - the things I want to do to you … I'm not the hero you think I am. I am flawed beyond belief," his voice breaks and his shoulders slump.

Astrid stares at him. She hadn't known he felt this way, but before sympathy can take over the conversation a flare of anger ignites. He thinks what of himself? How dare he! How dare he invalidate all his hard work and efforts and admiration everyone feels for him!

"I am well aware of your flaws," Astrid snarls, her volume growing with her indignation. Hiccup's eyes widen with the slightest hint of panic. Good, Astrid thinks deliriously. If he didn't think she knew him she'd show him.

"You're still not confident in your fighting skills and try to resort to underhand tricks whenever possible." Hiccup's eyebrows shoot up high. "You tend to overwork yourself, and since you're so used to it you sometimes push someone too far and they snap. You're optimistic about change to the point that it seems crazy, you spend a lot of time on contraptions that barely work, and you don't connect enough with your people on a personal level."

"What?" he wheezes. Astrid's mad now, and everything that she has seen as a slight imperfection, something he could work on, and things that are so quintessentially him but make her eye twitch all the same are pouring out.

"You get too stuck in your head," she lists, counting on her fingers now to make a more dramatic point. "This can lead to you not noticing something on the battlefield and people getting hurt. You're not a genius," his face falls and Astrid feels just a little bit bad. "You're smart, but you can get tricked and manipulated just as easily as the rest of us. You bottle things up and expect us to read your mind. You don't think you're one of us." Hiccup opens his mouth to protest and she looks up at him sharply. "You don't, and so you hold yourself apart from everybody and make it impossible to connect with you and the other way around!"

"That's not tr-" Hiccup starts but Astrid is on a roll now and nothing will stop her until she's finished.

"You're immature," she says heatedly. He makes a wounded noise and she softens, subtly. "You never work too hard because you're afraid of putting too much into something and then failing, and don't get me started on how you never cut your hair enough!"

"Wait- my hair?" he asked incredulously, glad to focus on a superficial detail.

"Yes! It's too fluffy and you grow it too long so it always falls into your eyes but you won't pull it back!" Astrid has always wanted to braid it, but held herself back from such an intimate symbol of their closeness. "And your legs are skinny and your pants are too tight. But!" she wagged a finger in front of her, determined not to get sidetracked, "You still act like a child sometimes, and sometimes you hurt people." He turns to her, startled at that last admission. "You kissed a girl without making her promises and then ignored her. You broke her heart," she says quietly, forcing herself to keep looking him in the eye. "You look at her like you love her and then the next day you act like she doesn't exist. You make her doubt her importance to you and scramble to keep up and you never tell her why. You come to her for reassurance but then you shut her out! You've made so many mistakes without knowing how it'd affect others. Did you not think about how I might feel, too?"

"I -" Hiccup's breath leaves him at once. "I'm. Astrid-"

"I know all this, and I love you for it," she said stoutly. "You've been more than just a hero to me for years. And I've been waiting around for you, but you know what? I'm not going to keep waiting and hold my breath. If you want me, you'll have to want me enough to do something about it." She steps away from him, then, and one of Hiccup's hands reaches out to her hesitantly.

"I'm sorry," Hiccup says frantically. "No. Don't go." Astrid shakes her head.

"I'm not," she promises. "I won't. But I'm not going to come to you, either. It has to be you."

"Please," he begs and she shakes her head.

"I know you love me," she says softly. "And you know I love you. But now you have to prove it." She holds up a hand sharply as Hiccup opens his mouth. "Saying anything now won't prove anything," she says sternly. "Think about it. Show me you're serious." She turns to leave but can't resist looking over her shoulder. "I know you can do it."

When Astrid was fifteen, she had watched Hiccup fly off out of the Archipelago while she was forced to stay behind. She had hated it. She had hated feeling like she wasn't good enough to go with him and hated the feeling that she was going to miss something important. When Hiccup had left, he'd left to change and nothing was ever exactly the same again. This feels like that moment, only with Astrid the one flying away. Nothing's ever going to be the same again. She can only hope that Hiccup picks himself up enough to fix it.

---

It's painful, waiting for Hiccup to come to her and stopping herself from making the first move towards him, but she knows it's the right thing to do.

It's autumn, normally time to harvest and different explorers comb the island to bring back new food that grows better in this slightly warmer climate to make up for the lack of farmed foods in New Berk. Without the dragons, their food will last a lot longer, but without the dragons, they can't collect as much food as they used to.

They have a little longer until winter than they expected. New Berk is warmer and greener, and Astrid suspects the winter months won't be nearly as long as they were on Old Berk. Autumn will last longer, but as Astrid surveys the skeleton of her parent's new, better house near the rest of the Hofferson clan.

"You sure you want a room here?" Papa asks hesitantly. Astrid bites her lips and glances in the direction of the plot of land that will become the chief's house.

"Yeah," she sighs.

Hiccup finds Astrid when she's bringing the midafternoon dishes back to the kitchen. A younger cousin of hers will wash them later, probably Brennon, who had chased the sheep out of their pen today.

"I think we should talk," Hiccup says. Astrid sets the plates down carefully. She wipes her hands discreetly along the apron tied loosely around her waist before turning to him and nodding.

"Okay," she says, forcing her voice to be steady. "Let's talk." She hangs the apron up on a hook and follows him outside. They walk a little ways away from the growing village until the grass is spread beneath them like a carpet and the hammering of the builders is a softer staccato.

Astrid says nothing as she watches Hiccup gather himself out of the corner of her eye. This is not going how she'd expected. This is somber, not the eloquent declarations of love she's envisioned coming from him, where she could melt and reassure him that everything was okay.

"I want to start with I'm sorry," Hiccup says, and Astrid's heart freezes in her chest. "I never took the time to consider how I was hurting you." Astrid meets his eyes, a little confused and a little hopeful. "Part of me knew it was wrong, but I thought it was because I wasn't the hero you thought I was, not that I was stringing you along. So I hurt you." His gaze becomes steely with determination. "And I want to fix that."

Astrid doesn't say anything. She took a couple deep breaths of her own before she trusts herself to speak.

"Apology accepted," she says quietly. Hiccup's shoulders sag a little bit in relief and Astrid can't help the exhilarated giggle that escapes her. Hiccup starts to chuckle too, and they find themselves doubled over, laughing hysterically at themselves before they quiet down.

"I'm not done," Hiccup tells her. "That was just the apology."

"Oh?" Astrid asks, making no move to stop the grin spreading across her face. "Well go on, then." He snorts good naturedly before turning serious again.

"I love you," he blurts out. "And you know that, but - damn it," he says under his breath. Astrid can still hear him, and fights the urge to cover her mouth lest she cannot stifle her giggle.

"I've always felt a connection to you," he started over. "And I didn't always know what it was, why I kept looking for you. But you– you took the time to see me, you know? Right when I had started to think dragons were my only chance of being understood, you came along and you tried. And never felt alone like that again, because there was always you.

"I don't know how it turned into something more. And I hated myself because– I fell for you a long time ago, Astrid. And I didn't know how to handle it. One moment we were kids and the next we were adults, but I wasn't sure if you were more of an adult or a kid. I didn't know if you were ready yet, and I knew I certainly wasn't. But I've realized that I'm better with you. I was so afraid of you finding out who I really was and hating me for it, but maybe– maybe that side of me I hated was the part of me that didn't have you. You believe in me so much that … it's hard to not believe in me, too. You know my flaws, at least most of them. And they still kept you around even after I broke your heart and ignored you and took your comfort selfishly." Astrid's face is so red she feels tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. "I don't think I deserve you, but I think I can try. And maybe I can one day. But I love you, and I'm serious about this. I'm not going to hurt us any longer by avoiding this. And I hope… would you be okay with that? Will you do this with me? Wait, no, I mean, would you-"

Astrid punches him in the arm, hard. He yelps and takes a step back, clutching it dramatically.

"Why would you do that?" he asks incredulously. Astrid steps forward. She's sure it won't even bruise.

"That's for keeping me waiting," she says matter of factly. She slides her hands up his chest until they tangle with the top of his fur cape on his shoulders. "And this is for everything else," she says softly as she tips her head back to meet his lips. He responds immediately, his hand finding her waist and tugging her flush against him. They slot together with as much ease and familiarity they had had three years ago.

It's exhilarating and sets her abuzz while something inside her loosens in relief. They break for air, but rest their foreheads against each other like pulling further away is too difficult.

"I know I had a lot of reservations about everything," Hiccup says quietly. It's not even a whisper, but something more intimate. His voice is a low rumble that she can feel in her chest and it makes her want to shiver. "But is there anything - like any struggle I could help you with?" Astrid feels her brows draw together in thought. But something about being so close to him and not having to look him in the eye loosens her tongue.

"Don't keep me out of anything," she says. "Don't hide something from me or try to protect me. I've missed out on so much. I feel like," Astrid hesitates, "I should have been there more. You could have had someone to help you when you needed it instead of all the trouble you faced." Hiccup pulls back so he can look at her and she blinks slowly a few times for his face to come into focus.

"I… I've made so many mistakes," he whispers. "How do I ever deserve you when I failed so many? The dragons - Berk -"

"You never failed me," she insists as she cups his cheek gently and turns his face up towards hers. "All I ever wanted was to be a part of your mistakes; the making and then the fixing. And I was never there when you needed me - you struggled so much in your own and I-"

"None of that," Hiccup argues gently as he presses his forehead to hers again. "You have always helped me through my darkest hours. Every time I need you, you show up just in time." He cradles her jaw between his hands. "And I wouldn't have it any other way," he admits. "You're perfect."

She doesn't know how long they stay there, just soaking up each other's presence and ignoring the functioning village, but the sun hasn't set before they decide to start walking back.

"So, where does this leave us now?" Astrid asks, swinging their hands between them. Hiccup looks at her.

"I'd like to properly court you once your house is finished," he shared. "I'm open to a quick betrothal if you are." Astrid's breath catches in her throat.

"You want to court me?" Hiccup nods.

"I may have been terrible at treating you right before," he admits. "But I know what to do for some things."

"You don't want to have a proper house for yourself while you court me?" Astrid asks archly. "Hardly a good impression." Hiccup bites his lip and smiles shyly at her.

"I was hoping I could get a bit of your input on that," he admits. "After all, I want you to live there, too." Astrid breath catches in her throat. Really? After all of this Hiccup is ready to marry her? "You don't have to," he rushes to assure her, seeing her face and misinterpreting her excitement. "I'll wait until you're ready. I just– well. I feel like we've been dancing around each other enough that I'd like to think we wouldn't wait long for marriage. I - either way, I think it'd be good to do things on your turf. Besides, I'm sure you'd hate to leave your parent's house unfinished before you left." Astrid hums in acknowledgement.

"Well, the room they took the time to build me won't be used," Astrid muses aloud. "What a pity." She smirks tauntingly and stands on her toes to whisper in Hiccup's ear. "At least until they've got grandchildren."

"W-What?" Hiccup stammers, almost flinching away from her hot breath. "Oh. I - I mean, um, sure." His wide eyes soften into something more adoring. "I'd like that," he says.

It sounds like a promise.

Astrid Hofferson – soon-to-be-Haddock – has never been a girl who could stay down for long. She isn't written in Hiccup the Dragon Master's history the same way as the others. When the First Dragon Riders tell their stories, she listens instead of adding her own. But she has her own place in this world. When she introduces herself to New Berk's allies, she introduces herself as Captain of the A Team, a recognized and revered warrior, current Berk General and Chieftess-to-be. The island cheers when she and Hiccup announce their engagement. The Dragon Riders throw up their arms and jump for joy. Valka and Astrid's parents exchange money, although Astrid has no idea what they bet on or who won. Gothi nods in satisfaction and Gobber heaves a sigh of relief.

Everything is as it should be.

---

Notes:

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Thank you for sticking by this!