Years have gone by since the tournament of sources. Jay had regained his memories and returned to the team, Arin returned after learning of Ras's manipulations, and the realms were safe at last. Everything has gone back to normal.
Almost, everything.
With no clouds in sight, one could see the stars littering the night sky, twinkling lights surrounding the bright moon. Zane could see the moonlight reflecting off his hands as he held onto a picture. His heart became heavy, weighing down his very being as he stared at the picture of Pixal.
There was no news, no signs of Pixal's whereabouts. The Administration was of no help either. Oddly, they had no data on Pixal, much to Zane's surprise. He resorted to searching the realms with the help of the others, but nothing came up. Zane checked, double-checked, and triple-checked after the others gave up— still, no Pixal.
Zane had already gone through a phase of turning off his emotion switch, wanting to forget the pain, the memories of how awful it feels to have lost Pixal. The ninja convinced him to turn it back on and sort through his emotions, not avoid the emotional grief over Pixal.
Now, he has decided to suffer in silence with the loss of Pixal.
Despite what the others had said and with his own experience, time was not healing this wound. His perception of time changed when he learned he was a nindroid. He would outlive his friends, which had deeply saddened him, but he had a glimmer of hope and expectation that he would pass through time with Pixal.
Zane made sure he didn't express the full extent of his sorrows. He didn't want his friends to worry too much about him during a peaceful era. During his time searching for Pixal in the other realms, he displayed concern and worry for Pixal's disappearance; nothing more. He remained levelheaded, holding back the urge to become an emotional mess for his friends, himself, and Pixal.
Zane tried to keep himself busy, pretending he wasn't as sad as he truly was. The pain only grew as he continued to suppress his grief. His grief and sorrow physically hurt him, something Zane never thought he could feel as a nindroid. FSM, he didn't know he could miss someone more than his father, but he's learning it's possible for Pixal.
Zane looked up at the night sky, his eyes were looking at the moon but his gaze seemed to be elsewhere, somewhere far away. He held the photo of Pixal with both of his hands, close to his chest, wishing he could hold her in his arms. But his arms held nothing but a small, delicate image of Pixal.
"I wish you were here, Pixal," Zane said. "Even if it means my powers are to weaken again, I would give up half of what remains of my power source– No. I'd give it all up if it meant I could have you by my side once more."
A breeze blew in from the west, making the photo flutter out of Zane's hands. Zane's heart dropped when he felt the photo slip out of his grasp. It was the only few pictures of Pixal he had in his possession. He quickly scrambled to pick up the photo flying in the air. A few seconds of chasing later, he had the photo back in his hands.
Zane breathed a sigh of relief, now holding onto the photo of Pixal tightly. It was as though the world was having fun with his grief, trying to have him lose Pixal a second time.
"Zane? Why are you out here? It's late."
Zane turned around and saw Kai standing by the door. A look of concern was written across his face. Zane hastily tucked away Pixal's photo in his pocket.
"I was merely getting some fresh air," Zane replied. "The weather has been nice lately and I wanted to enjoy it."
Kai raised an eyebrow, not believing Zane's words.
"I heard you talking earlier… about Pixal."
Ah. Zane has been caught.
"I was not planning for any of you to know of this," Zane sighed.
Kai walked over to him, worried for Zane's mental health. He could see the photo of Pixal sticking out of Zane's pocket, and despite Zane being a nindroid, signs of emotional exhaustion were obvious on his face.
"I thought you were starting to get over her, Zane," Kai said.
Zane scoffed dryly, looking down at the wood floors. Get over her? Zane could never get over someone like Pixal.
"I can never get over her, Kai. She is, was, my other half."
Kai winced, internally facepalming for his choice of words. Of course, Zane wouldn't just get over someone so precious to him.
"Sorry, I meant I thought you were starting to get better from the grief. We all thought you were." Kai corrected himself.
"I did not want everyone to stay concerned for my wellbeing," Zane said. "It would not be productive for everyone if I had no signs of emotional improvement."
Kai sighed, kicking himself for not noticing. Then again, Zane isn't as loud about his thoughts and feelings as Kai himself or Jay. He's always been more introverted compared to most of the team.
Kai sat down on the edge of the floors, his feet settling on the dirt ground of the courtyard. It was dark outside, but the light of the moon dimly lit the courtyard and the light Kai had turned on in one of the rooms better illuminated the area. He motioned for Zane to sit next to him, wanting to figure out what was going on with Zane.
Zane hesitantly sat next to Kai, unsure of what will happen next. He had planned to keep everything hidden away until he started getting better, but he had been exposed quicker than he thought.
Minutes passed with no words spoken, neither ninja volunteering to break the silence. They both looked to the sky, watching the stars sparkling and the moon shining. Another breeze blew past them, rustling their clothes.
"I'm sure Pixal's doing okay," Kai said. "She knows how to get out of any trouble, and I'm sure she's trying to find her way back to us, to you."
"That's highly improbable," Zane replied. "It has been years, and I searched through every realm more than three times. There's no sign of her in any of them."
"Maybe you missed a spot."
"I am a nindroid, Kai. I do not miss anything."
"But you have feelings like me, Zane," Kai said. "You have joy, anger, sadness. You might have overlooked a cave or a secret hideout while you were clouded with emotions."
Something in Zane broke. The string holding his sanity snapped inside him, releasing a wave of anger, sorrow, longing, and something more than Zane himself could not put into words.
"I HAVE NOT!"
Kai flinched back in surprise when Zane suddenly stood up yelling. He hardly ever heard Zane raise his voice like this in all the years he had known him. Zane's glare felt colder than ice, a look Kai never thought or hoped to see in his life.
"I explored every cave, every hideout, every tree, and every rock in all the realms! I made sure I left no stone unturned!"
Anger mixed with grief tinged Zane's words, something Kai had never seen from Zane.
"Pixal is gone! She is- she is gone."
Kai could feel Zane's cold angry gaze on him, feeling anxious by this new side of Zane. He saw the pain of losing Pixal on Zane's face, something Zane had never shown before. But there was something else he saw on Zane's face.
"Zane, are you, crying?"
Frozen tears fell from his eyes and off his cheeks, shattering as they hit the floor. Zane's face looked so, broken.
All the emotions Zane had been holding back exploded. He fell to his knees, letting out a loud sob as he threw his heart out for display. His crying didn't cease as he continued to release everything he had suppressed.
Kai knelt down and hugged him, letting Zane cry on his shoulder. The others had woken or heard the cries, quietly gathering by the door to see where the noise came from. Kai looked up at them and quietly shook his head, telling them not to ask what happened.
Minutes went by, then hours. Zane had no sign of stopping his cries anytime soon.
All they could do was watch Zane cry for his lover.
The sky was clear, like those nights ago. It was daytime, the sun shining and not a cloud in sight. Zane sat on the wooden floor, still holding onto Pixal's photo. A breeze went by, but Zane's hold on Pixal was tight.
A familiar looking fire elemental walked by with his sister, watching Zane doing nothing but looking at the blue sky. They slowed down and stopped next to Zane, but kept a distance from him.
"Who's that?" The sister asked.
"That's the elemental master of ice." The brother replied. "He doesn't really speak to us."
"But why?"
"I don't know, but he used to be an awesome ninja alongside our great grandparents and their friends."
The two looked at Zane, seeing a frozen tear fall from his left eye as he stared off into the distance with a blank look on his face.
"He's crying!"
The fire elemental shushed his sister, pulling her away from Zane.
"Don't be so rude! He's been sad for longer than we can remember."
"But why?" The elemental master's baby sister looked up at him with curious eyes.
"No one really knows, but don't be rude by pointing out that he's crying, okay?"
His sister nodded her head, holding her stuffie close to her. She looked back at the ice ninja with sympathy before going back inside the Monastery.
"Pixal," Zane mumbled. "Pixal…"
"I long for you, Pixal. Please, come back to me…"