Here's the next chapter, based on "Operation: P.I.R.A.T.E.," the fifth episode to air and the seventh to be produced. This episode marks the debut of Captain Stickybeard and his crew (or in this case their genderbent counterparts) and their ship the Sweet Revenge, all of the former group of whom I made up myself. I hope you enjoy this chapter, so let's get started! I apologize for this coming out a little more than two months later than what I'd originally planned (work and Christmas were pretty hectic, especially with Party City, where I work, going underwater by the end of this month), and I hope you all enjoyed Christmas and the New Year and Valentine's Day!
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Kids Next Door Mission
Operation
P.I.R.A.T.E.
Pirates
Invade
Repository
And
Treats
Extracted
A pirate ship was sailing across the earth, searching for treasure.
It glided across both land and water, leaving great destruction in its wake.
Its captain, Stickybeard, was not just any ordinary pirate captain—she had an unusual obsession with candies (hence why her ship was called the Sweet Revenge); and she was willing to plunder anywhere she could for rare varieties of endangered plants, highly valued gourmet confections at restaurants and hyperwealthy residences, exotically flavored sweet treats in the vast jungles and deserts scattered around the planet, and just about any candy she set her mind to. The village of candies stuck in her short bushy beard spoke volumes about this, communicating with her overflowing taste buds on where exactly to catch and consume this candy, and relaying the information to the rest of her crew. This time, their target was a treehouse filled with candy—not just any treehouse with candy, but a treehouse belonging to the Kids Next Door, where she knew the operatives were safeguarding the candy to the best of their abilities. She ordered her crew to be on the ready for any threats that may attack them on their way to their bounty, and to alert her when they arrived at their destination.
The Sector V treehouse stood majestically like usual, anticipating whatever craziness the occupants would become involved in, unaware of the pirates' rampage descending upon it.
Inside the storage room, Numbuh 5 was taking inventory, making sure everything was accounted for. He looked over his clipboard, checking off the boxes corresponding to the things he found inside the boxes. He sifted through these boxes and rearranged the contents into the correct ones, neatly stacking and arranging them to make sure they could easily be found whenever the operatives needed them. He also grabbed a few pieces of candy from these boxes, hoping to add them to the secret stash he'd accumulated throughout his time in the Kids Next Door, and took them to the chest where he kept this stash. Little did he know, however, that a certain greedy sweet-toothed pirate captain was on the lookout for those sweets, and the treehouse was her next target.
The room started to rumble slightly, signaling him something very important (and fun, since that mattered a lot to the Kids Next Door) was on the horizon, and he was due to attend it quickly. He grabbed the chest's handle and dragged it out of the room, carefully scanning the area for any adult tyrants who might try to steal it from his and his sector's property. He pulled it toward a set of stairs leading to a backless refrigerator (which in turn led to the sector's gaming room), glancing over his shoulder occasionally and trembling in excitement. He hauled the chest up the stairs, hoping to invite Numbuhs 1-4 to join in on his fun, and opened the door to let in some air of anticipation for all the exciting adventures that would happen once that came to pass.
Meanwhile, the rest of the team were in that room, playing a sumo wrestling virtual reality game. Numbuhs 1 and 2 were controlling the wrestlers (who wore purple and yellow attire respectively), trying to pin each other to the ground, while Numbuhs 3 and 4 were in control of two of the spectators, providing moral support to their favorite wrestlers to increase their chances of winning the game. Numbuh 1 made her wrestler pull the back of Numbuh 2's wrestler's mawashi as the latter struggled to get free, also cheering her on as she was about to deliver the final blow. The sumo wrestler gave her opponent multiple wedgies, each one more painful than the last, trying to incapacitate the latter as her fighting spirit kept moving forward. Just as she was about to start breaking the opponent down mentally, however, Numbuh 5 entered the room with the candy chest in hand, interrupting his sectormates' connection with the game.
"Hey now, what's up with that?!" Numbuh 4 shouted, irritated with the lack of results.
"What's the matter?!" Numbuh 3 agreed, his fiery spirit having hit a gridlock in cheering on the game.
"Just keep cool, y'all," Numbuh 5 said, waving his hand to help his complaining teammates calm down, "because Numbuh 5 says…" He leaned over to the rest of their team, capturing their attention and excitement, and opened the lid of the chest to reveal the contents. "It's candy time!"
Upon hearing this, the operatives threw off their headsets and ran toward the vast treasure trove in the center, chowing down on the candy to their hearts' content. "Wow!" Numbuh 2 yelled, waving her hand at her French/African-American teammate before diving in. "You're the best, Numbuh 5!"
"Your special stash!" Numbuh 4 agreed, stuffing her face with the sweet treats. "What's the occasion?"
"No occasion, Numbuh 4, just-" Alberto began, but he was interrupted by a loud crash. A huge wad of bubblegum burst through the treehouse walls, knocking the Australian girl backwards and sticking her head against the wall. She groaned in pain, futilely and dazedly struggling to get free as it pulled tightly at the top of her hair, while Numbuh 1 walked over to investigate. She stopped at where her Australian sectormate was trapped, eyeing Numbuh 4 up and down to see if the pink adhesive had done her any harm.
It's a... gum wad," Nicole said, pulling it off the wall with her hand. She started to investigate it for any hairs or anything that may have gotten stuck to it, but she was interrupted by another loud crash. Wha!?" she asked, turning her head to the wall to see the gum wad speeding toward her. It covered her head in sticky pink gunk that obscured her vision, shoving the sweet fruity taste of the gum into her unwilling taste buds.
More balls of gum flew through the walls, snapping the wood like sticks under someone's feet, splattering the room with disgusting pink gunk, and keeping the operatives on their toes. They did everything they could to avoid it—dodging, ducking, jumping, hiding, darting, and even throwing objects to distract whoever was firing them—but nothing seemed to stave off the onslaught of gum. The invaders were determined to win the battle at any cost to have access to the sugary spoils the operatives were hiding in the treehouse, using whatever mouth-watering tricks they had up their sleeve to achieve their goals. This could only mean one thing: a crew of Candy Pirates had arrived, and they had anchored their ship right outside the treehouse.
The pirates continued to load their cannons, their captain loudly shouting her orders to keep going. She encouraged them to fight on, urging them to think of the delicious candy ahead, throwing them some of the candy she was storing in one of their stolen chests to incentivize them into achieving their goals. The pirates caught the candy, enthusiastically devouring it as they ran back to get some more gum from below deck, and quickly prepared these gum balls for maximum destruction. Eventually, they created a hole big enough for a person to enter, their minds on high alert as they fine-tuned their focus on the hunger-quashing treats that hid from within the walls of the treehouse.
"Argh! That's the spirit!" Stickybeard encouraged her crew as their taste buds began to overflow their mouths with saliva. She motioned two of them to grab wooden planks from behind the ship's wheel, gleefully anticipating all the candy they would add to their stash when their raid was done. These two pirates quickly ran back to the area, their hearts beating faster than a time bomb itching to go off at any moment as they positioned the boards in the right spots for their fellow pirates to ambush the operatives. "Prepare to board, mateys!" Stickybeard commanded as they put the planks down to cover the gap. "Go, go, go!"
With that, the battle was on. The pirates charged inside the treehouse with their candy cane swords, shouting their battle cries to goad the numbuhs into getting whatever pieces of them (and the candy they'd stolen) they wanted, and priming their minds to the highest level of confidence they could muster to win. "Take that!" one of them yelled, preparing to strike down her opponent with all of her sugar-frosted might.
Numbuh 5 turned his head toward the commotion breaching his and his team's home base, the sound piercing his ears and the sweet-laced stinky aroma creeping up his nostrils, pondering what to do next. He scanned the room for the team's attackers, observing the other numbuhs charging forward in response to defend their precious sugary gold, and formulating a plan in his head for the success of the operations that lay ahead. He looked around, making sure there were no pirates nearby to see his actions, and glanced at a small door on the side of the room behind him, preparing to hide the candy there. He gave the chest a little kick, sliding it backward into the area (and causing the door to close), and looked proudly at its hiding place, confident the mission would go smoothly.
However, he was suddenly interrupted by the battle raging on around him. His fellow operatives were starting to become overwhelmed by the pirates, trying their best to protect their candy despite the opposition's strength and resolve. "Little help over here, Numbuh 5!" Numbuh 4 yelled, struggling to keep her head above the sea of Jolly Ranchers the pirates were firing from their concealed pistols.
"I'm on it!" Alberto yelled, rushing off to assist Willie.
In another room, a group of pirates were menacingly approaching Kenji, trying to corner him against the wall. They angrily shook their fists and swords at him, the hairs on their heads and beards standing up as if being electrocuted, ready to take down their juvenile prey once and for all. Despite their best efforts to scare him, however, Numbuh 3 remained unfazed by this situation, surrounded by thoughts of the Rainbow Monkeys dancing around with him. He quickly analyzed the situation, thinking about the dance they did in their show when the evil Snakey Pirates came to steal all their ice cream, and began to prime his brain and body for a fighting style combining all these moves. "Pirate fight!" he yelled, literally springing into action as the pirates tried to pin him down. "Whee!" He skillfully dodged their attacks, jumping up and down on their heads as they kept trying and failing to land attacks on him, and chuckling at their failures to capture their not-so-helpless prey.
In another part of the room, Numbuhs 4 and 5 were taking on another group of pirates, the former with the gum ball still stuck to her hair. They were priming the boxing glove guns Numbuh 5 had gotten out for them, inspecting to make sure everything was working properly, and testing them out on various pillows and seats to ensure maximum punching power. The pirates snuck up on the two numbuhs, trying to catch them off guard, but the Australian girl and the French/African-American boy would often shoot them glances that stopped them in their tracks. They also tried swinging their swords at them, hoping to disable their weapons and turn the gloves onto their wielders, but Numbuhs 4 and 5 kept dodging the attacks and punching the peppermint blades out of their owners' hands. Running out of options, the evil candy pirates made confusing motions with their hands and swords to disorient their opponents, blocking off any routes of escape in the room where they stood, and advanced upon the operatives, ready to disarm them once and for all. Seeing this, Willie and Alberto quickly devised a new strategy, their veins excitedly trembling with the adrenaline from the action of the battle as they nodded their heads at each other. They backed into each other, slowly approaching the center, their brains alert sirens pulling their eyelids open as the pirates began shouting threateningly and menacingly shaking their swords at their targets.
"Just a little closer..." Numbuh 4 said, shooting a quick glance at her French/African-American teammate as they scanned the area around them. The pirates began inching upon their prey, their hot salt taffy breath drifting across the operatives' faces and caressing their skin like sand on a beach. "Now!" They began pulling the triggers around them, each knocking out half the pirates one by one. Some more arrived to stop them, but the numbuhs' fist-pumping weapons proved more than a match for them as they too were sent flying backwards.
Numbuh 2 was standing by a window to look out for any potential attackers, preparing herself to alert her fellow operatives if any attackers were by the window. She looked from side to side, trying to catch any pirates sneaking past their defenses toward the team's opening, but she didn't see any of their enemies. She scanned up and down, spying Stickybeard shouting her orders to her crew, but there were no attackers climbing up or down the tree trunk or the treehouse walls. She even looked over her shoulder, checking for any attackers who were sneaking up to throw her overboard, but the coast was clear. Confident she had done a full inspection, she went back to guard the window, spreading out her limbs to stop any foes from bringing her and her team down. However, what (or rather, who) she didn't see was a pirate on a rope swinging towards that window, screaming and laughing at her fat Jewish-American target.
The pirate flew toward Hillary's lookout perch, excited adrenaline rushing through her body, hoping to win the battle for her captain. She felt the wind sweep through her torn pink and green clothes, ruffling them like the feathers of a majestic eagle in the wind, her victory within her sight. She swooped down like a hawk plunging at its prey, accelerating faster by the second, her moment of triumph approaching her as she prepared to land an effective hit on Hillary. When she reached the window, her white boots frightened the Jewish-American girl, who put her hands in front of her face to defend herself from the attack. The pirate, however, landed on her feet and brandished her candy cane sword at the startled operative. The latter started to run away but felt a swift kick on the sole of her right foot, which propelled her into the air and made her knock down Numbuhs 4 and 5 like bowling pins, causing all three numbuhs to groan in pain.
Meanwhile, Numbuh 1 had also been stuck to the wall, her glasses askew as she struggled to get free. The pink gum surrounding her pulled her toward it as if the gravity had been distorted, partially enveloping her upper arms, trying to rip apart her shirt, threatening to pull off the hair on the back of her head, and harkening her memories back to the tumultuous start of the Kids Next Door years earlier. The red turtleneck-wearing British girl looked around the room, her eyes throbbing as they darted from place to place, the pain growing stronger without her hands available to alleviate it. She began to resign herself to the team's fate, preparing to accept having all their candy taken by the evil pirates, when suddenly she heard Numbuh 3 still excitedly performing acrobatics across the hall. "Huh?" she asked, a glimmer of hope piercing her heart.
Kenji was still keeping his advantage over his adversaries, artfully dodging them and disorienting some of them enough to crash into each other. He flew across the hallways, his heart a beautiful butterfly speeding across the field toward a legendary golden flower with infinite pollen, his legs containing springs and his toes full of rockets, and his smile so big it could accommodate an entire drinking can laid on its side. He passed where his British teammate was attached to the wooden wall, his energy infectious but repelled by the sticky pink slop, and flew toward the ceiling, his legs providing a much-needed energy boost to keep the pirates on their toes in their attempts to bring him down to the ground (both literally and figuratively). What Kenji didn't see, however, was that one of the pirates had a licorice whip, and she was about to take him down.
"Numbuh 3, look out!" Nicole yelled at her green sweater-wearing Japanese teammate, but Kenji didn't hear her. The whip-carrying pirate swung her weapon at the Japanese boy and caught his right leg, swinging him back and throwing him to the floor. Numbuh 3 landed right on top of Numbuhs 2, 4, and 5; his back hitting theirs like a ton of feathers blown by the wind; his spine being clocked as if he were being jostled on a roller coaster; and his head disoriented by the recent turn of events in the battle. The other three numbuhs groaned as he lay flat on top of them, too dazed to notice two pirates jumping on top of them.
These pirates laughed when the numbuhs groaned again, satisfied at their victory. They waved their fists in the air, looking forward to all the candy they and their crewmates would add to the Sweet Revenge's vast treasure trove. They also made movements as if they had itches, the happy sensation pulsating throughout their bodies too powerfully for them to resist. In response, Stickybeard's first mates Chewy and Gooey, who wore clothes of the same patterns (bandannas with white polka dots, white striped shirts that were torn, and torn pants held up by belts) but different colors (Chewy's bandanna and pants were blue while her shirt's stripes were black, and Gooey's bandanna and shirt stripes were red while her pants were gray), grinned smugly, also proud at having beaten the Kids Next Door operatives. Chewy turned her attention toward the ship, her heart beating faster than an epic drum solo, and a sugary fire burning brightly in her eyes. "Treehouse secured, Capitaine!" she called, hoping to share the exciting news with the captain of the Sweet Revenge.
Hearing this, Stickybeard smiled widely, confident no one (KND operatives or otherwise) could take down her and her candy pirate crew in their mission to steal candy from their planned destinations. She began walking menacingly towards the treehouse, her left peg leg occasionally getting stuck to the wood with the bubblegum at its bottom, her sights primed on the sweet treats soon to be plundered from the structure above Numbuh 1's house, and the dark plaque on her rotting teeth glittering dangerously in the sunlight. She stopped when she'd walked a few feet past the hole in the wall, staring at the operatives through her equally dangerously glittering right eye. "Ah, brave warriors, ye young'uns be," she began, ready to make her short and sweet victory speech, "but ye be no match for..."
The operatives looked up at Stickybeard's face in shock; recoiling at her foul breath; which smelled like tooth decay, lollipops of all flavors, chocolate kisses, cotton candy, salt taffy, and spicy gumdrops among other candies. This candy pirate captain was a very imposing figure: she was a heavyset woman with a short bushy red-orange beard dotted with candies of all varieties, bushy eyebrows that were partially hidden under her black hat, and a mouth with big lips and a few plaque-infested teeth (each of which had more holes than Swiss cheese) sticking out of her gums (most of these teeth had already fallen out during her and her crew's earlier adventures). She wore a dark greenish brown jacket (the shade you'd expect to find on a five-decade old chocolate bar caked with mold and dust), a thick black belt with a shiny silver buckle (which she'd inherited from her grandmother Long Joan Silverfilling), a dark gray pair of pants stained with sugary quicksand, a huge black boot on her right foot, and an identically colored glove on her right hand. She also sported several candy cane trademarks of a traditional candy pirate—a hat with a skull licking its jaws, a candy cane peg leg fastened to her left knee, a candy cane hook in place of her left hand, a candy cane sword like the one carried by her candy pirate crew, and a black eyepatch over her left eye (to prevent it from being exposed to powdered sugar for too long). She looked at her fallen opponents menacingly, her smile stretching to reveal a few more rotting teeth as she passed that feeling on to her crew. "Stickybeard!" she punctuated, pointing at herself with her thumb and then making grand gestures with her hands. "The stickiest pirate ever to sail the suburbs!"
The other pirates cheered and laughed at this, celebrating their newfound candy bounty. "Ah, but enough with the formalities," their captain said, silencing everyone. "We'll now be taking…" She leaned down towards the squished operatives to smell the syrupy humiliation in their breaths and then shook her fist. "All your candy."
"Take anything," Numbuh 5 defiantly yelled, poking his head up and subtly motioning his teammates to do the same in support of their hard-earned delicacies, "but not the candy!"
"Ohh, a fellow sweet tooth, eh?" Stickybeard responded, chuckling softly to herself. "Well!" She pulled a pink lollipop out of her beard, showing it to the French/African-American boy and allowing him a good long look at the hairs stuck to its surface before stuffing it into his mouth, "This lolly will be the last bit of candy you'll ever have in this treehouse when ol' Stickybeard's done with ye!" She pumped her fist in the air, motioning to her crewmates. "Snap to it, mateys!" she commanded, preparing her taste buds for the sugary sweet feast they would dine on for many days to come.
The pirates rummaged around the treehouse for whatever candies they could find, grabbing all they could see and stuffing it in various boxes. They began throwing the boxes out of the doors, grabbing them from the floors, and taking them back to the ship as they sang a merrily eerie tune to celebrate their victories. "Candy, candy, take that candy!" they chanted, licking their lips as their sugary odor vacated the treehouse. "Take that candy, take it all! Candy, candy, take the candy! Down to the last sour ball!"
Stickybeard happily nodded her head as her minions kept crooning that song several times, her taste buds satisfied at the chorus of delicacies that would serenade them for many hours to come. "Is that all the candy, lasses?" she asked, looking around the room for anyone willing to answer.
"Oui, mon Capitaine!" Chewy and Gooey replied, saluting their captain again.
"Then let's sail, mateys!" the captain yelled triumphantly, ready to bask in the glory of their recent victory over the operatives of the Kids Next Door.
But just as she finished her declaration, the door Numbuh 5 had closed earlier opened. It exposed the chest and all its contents to the outside world (both inside and outside the treehouse), inviting everyone around to sample the contents inside and resume their candy feast, regardless of the danger that lurked around. Its sweet smells flowed through the key, grabbing their noses with their long spectral fingers, while the sparkling sugar tickled their taste buds, causing the saliva inside their mouths to erupt more erratically than a volcano whose cycle was thrown out of control. The operatives and pirates were all enticed by the smell, the pressure building up in their minds, but they were too focused on their mission to notice it. That is, except Numbuh 5, who gasped in horror upon their secret stash having been profaned to the occupants of the treehouse.
Unfortunately, Stickybeard heard this gasp and started looking around the room. "Eh? What's this?" she asked, turning her head to the left and then to the right. Her eyes settled upon the chest hiding in plain sight, inspecting its intricate design and sniffing up and down for all the different candy-flavored scents hiding inside the trove. "So!" she yelled, triumphant at having seen through the French/African-American boy's ruse. "You thought ye could outsmart ol' Stickybeard, did ya?" A devious grin spread across her rotten-toothed face, exposing all the decay for the outside world to see her elatedness. "When I said I was taking all your candy, I meant it!" She went toward the chest and grabbed it by the handle, laughing victoriously as she began dragging it out to the ship.
"AAAAHHHHHHH!" Numbuh 5 yelled, throwing Numbuhs 2-4 and the two pirates sitting on top of them off of him as he got up to take back his stash. He eyed the chest, his brain feeling all the pressure of a steamroller crushing a soda can and propelling all the sugary liquid out onto the pavement, and fired up the springs in his legs to save the last of his sector's candy. "Noooooooo!" he screamed as he jumped, grabbing onto the chest and hugging it with his arms and legs as he hit its hull like 100 pounds of bricks dropped from the top of a building. "There's no way I'm letting go of my special stash of candy!"
"As you wish, my sweet-tooth master, I'll take ye both," she replied in a falsely sweet manner to disarm Alberto's mind. "And don't the rest of ye be trying to follow us," she continued, yelling at the rest of the team, "or you'll never unwrap a lolly with your friend again." She pulled a lime lollipop out of her beard (with a few beard hairs still stuck to it) to demonstrate her point, chewing it and sucking up the rare zesty taste that arose from the tiny holes created from several other licks. "Ohh, lime-a-licious!" she exclaimed, pulling the lollipop out of her mouth and grossing out the operatives with all the saliva to break their resolve before taking another taste. "Argh!" she continued, leaning down to tend to her newly acquired hoard of flavored sugar and its rightful owner, and turning to finally leave toward her next expedition. She laughed evilly as she walked back to the ship, her nose and mouth dancing in sync with each other at the delicious tooth-rotting feast she'd treat the crew of the Sweet Revenge to, while the other operatives watched in terror, worrying about what might happen to Numbuh 5 and their candy (and if they would ever recover the delectable confectionary motherlode they'd built up over many months).
"Numbuh 5!" Numbuh 1 yelled, trying to get herself unstuck from the wall to go after her French/African-American teammate as the bridge disappeared from her sight, but the gum pulled her right back, imprisoning her within its clutches as the candy pirates prepared to make sail.
Stickybeard sailed away from the treehouse, having successfully captured every last piece of the operatives' candy, her taste buds giddily dancing with the sugar in the air as Numbuhs 1-4 begged Alberto to come back (also music to her ears and a testament to her recent victory). She ordered a few of her crew to plot a course to their next target, writing down a plan for attack that would later be modified according to the unique situations there, and told several others to watch the candy stash, warning them of any Kids Next Door Operatives who might come in there sneaking pieces of their stolen candy. She looked out her window toward her next adventure, eagerly awaiting the sugary bounty at the end, confident that it would be hers and her crew's at any cost. But little did she know, there would be a not-so-tasty surprise waiting in store for her taste buds to sample, which would change the course of candy piracy forever.
While the Candy Pirates were sailing away, Alberto was still clinging on to his stash of candy, planning his next move. He scanned the room around him; the fruity, chocolatey, vanilla, and other flavors charging their way toward his tongue and nostrils; the sugar on the walls preparing to hopelessly bedazzle and hypnotize him into a state of wonder; the cacophonous drag of the wood scratching his eardrums like fingernails on a chalkboard; and the rumbling of the earth lightly punching his belly as his vessel vibrated like a malfunctioning car engine. He got up off of this chest, his teeth still feeling a little uncontrollable chatter coming from an insatiable urge for the confectionary treats, and dusted himself off, his hands dry from the lack of moisture in the rooms he'd been dragged through. But before he could do anything, Stickybeard spotted him and ordered him tied up to the mast until he agreed to be an eternal part of her crew. Chewy and Gooey dragged the French/African-American boy away to that mast, ready to get an exclusive taste of his indignation at having been bested by the great Captain Stickybeard.
"Ow! Not so tight!" he yelled as the two first mates pulled onto the red licorice rope to make a taut knot that would take him an eternity to untie with his arms restrained. But Chewy and Gooey just walked away and laughed, preparing themselves for another taste of the candy in the treasure hoard below deck.
Numbuh 5 started looking for a way to escape his predicament, scanning the horizon and the deck for anything he could use to his advantage. He stared up at the sky, looking for any birds who might happen to have a taste for this licorice, but none of those he saw seemed to notice and/or care. He eyed each pirate who passed him, staring at their candy swords and Jolly Rancher pistols, but each of them seemed too immersed in their candy-caked mental world to care to listen or be tricked by their captive. "Hmmm…" he said, looking down at the knot of the red twisted rope, feeling his taste bud volcanoes prepare for their next eruption despite licorice's reputation as one of the world's yuckiest candies. "Licorice?" he asked himself, a sly grin forming on his face as he thought of the feast he would save for his team and many kids worldwide. He stood there confidently, his body revving up (literally and figuratively) as he steeled his courage for this daring escape attempt, and leaned his head back, letting out a battle cry as he opened his mouth to gobble his restraints. He ate them like a woodchipper, his teeth chopping the red candy like fresh timber from a lush forest after he pulled away the seal, and got back up again, darting away toward his precious candy in its equally prestigious chest.
Elsewhere on the ship, Stickybeard was standing with two of her crew members, sampling some of the candies that stuck to her beard. She grabbed another lollipop stick, straining to separate it from the orange hair current being pulled along with it, and tightened her grip on the stick, struggling a little to regain control of her hand as it flung slightly forward. "Hmm?" she asked, observing the purplish blue color and taste of the candy at the end of the stick with a few stray hairs sticking out. "Ohh, blurpleberry!" she shouted, sticking it into her mouth as she began tasting it enthusiastically just like she'd done the green confection before it.
Meanwhile, Numbuh 5 was slipping around the ship, sneaking past pirates to avoid being caught in their sight, hiding behind objects to evade the crew profaning his location, and occasionally jumping in the air to elude their ever-eager weapons sitting on their persons. He ran all around the deck, looking for his next place to hide, and found a huge barrel standing right by some crates behind the mast. Once he was safely behind them, he looked around the deck for anything of interest, and to his pleasant surprise, he found his chest sitting at port right next to some other crates and barrels near the bottom of the rigging, waiting to be taken back to the treehouse and offer its contents to the operatives inside. "Bingo," he said, emerging from his hiding spot and slinking toward it like a banded linsang after its prey in the jungle.
He giddily hopped on his feet to reach the chest, finding the rhythm as if he were selected to perform a solo in jazz dance class, navigating the rapids of sugary dust as if his toes contained springs, and waltzing through the fresh breeze of air in a similar manner to a cat nimbly tiptoeing to avoid nails sticking out of the ground, reaching the chest just in time for a pirate to narrowly miss spotting him right in front of her. He slipped behind the chest, looking around for any onlookers who might try to throw him overboard or lock him in a room without any candy (where he'd probably be tortured with one of Stickybeard's minions fake-offering him sweet treats only to swipe them away), listening for any footsteps coming his way, and sniffing the air for that unpleasant odor of saccharine halitosis sweeping the ship like combers on a beach, hoping he could find a way out of this (somewhat literally) sticky situation he was trapped in. When he was certain the coast was clear, he peered out from behind the chest and started dragging it by his hand toward safety. "Now Numbuh 5 just gotta get back to the treehouse," he remarked, making his way toward the lifeboat at starboard so he could find a way back to where his team was waiting for their candy.
Unfortunately, Stickybeard heard the commotion from her place on the stern as she was taking another lick of her blurpleberry lollipop. She had heard this commotion before many times in her candy piracy career, from Licorice Island to the tombs of Qin Shi Hi-Chew, but this one was unlike anything she'd ever heard before—it was happening right before her very eyes, in the view of all the pirates walking on deck, and while the candy had been hidden in plain sight and its owner tied to the mast, no less! "Huh?" she asked, staring at Alberto lugging the chest with him as something got hold of her brain and revved her internal engine. "Oh, that laddie just won't give up!" she continued, shaking her fists in front of her and positioning them in such a place as to pound the balcony she was leaning over. She looked around the desk for any available candy pirates to stop this wrench in her plans, their gaze meeting hers as she silently called towards them to look at the French/African-American boy sneaking across the floor of the deck. "Get HIIIIIIIIIIIM!" she yelled, ready to pick of where her battle with the Kids Next Door operatives had left off.
With that, the ship was enveloped in a world of frenzy.
Doors flung open from every corner of the ship's interior, flinging the salty sugar taste away from their hinges as they revealed candy pirates jumping out towards their not-so-helpless opponent, ready to take on the challenge their captain had brought on for them to maintain their newly acquired candy hoard. These pirates also came flying from the exterior; jumping from their work with the rigging, the hull, and the jibboom; prepared to draw their swords and pistols and bring that boy to his knees. In unison, they all shouted powerful battle cries and brandished their weapons, ready to catch Alberto off-guard as he looked around for a way to escape this onslaught of attackers, and ran forward to place tooth-rottingly painful hits on him, determined at last to claim their ultimate victory over the kids in the treehouse they had taken down. But little did they know, that boy had a hidden honey vinegar they could not have anticipated, and that would prove useful in securing all the candy they had taken from this treehouse for the Kids Next Door once again.
Alberto positioned his chest toward two of the pirates charging at him, scanning the area for anyone who might be in his path, and then kicked it at them with as much force as he could manage, sending them out of the way like bowling pins hit by a ball made of indestructible metal. "Boom!" he yelled, pumping his right fist in the air. Two more pirates came after him, intending to take advantage of his temporary moment of triumph, and reached for their swords to send him flying off the Sweet Revenge like a baseball speeding out of the stadium, but all they could manage to get was a mildly shocked "Uh-oh" followed by him jumping onto a rope to make his next move.
He flew in the sky like an orangutan on a vine as he built up momentum to grab his chest, looking all around him for anything that could impede his daredevil show, frequently propelling himself in the opposite direction to ensure greater mobility, and starting to dizzy the pirates to the point of slight seasickness (or, in this case, suburbsickness) as they stared at her movements. He jumped all around the ship's rigging and rails, sending any attackers running his way flying off the floor, and performed several backflips in the air to further confuse his attackers into dispersing elsewhere on their vessel. When the area was relatively clear, he performed one last swing in the direction of the chest and grabbed it by the handle, carrying it up into the air out of the reach of any candy pirates still trying to grab it from him.
Alberto laughed as he reached his final zenith, relishing the shock his opponents had in their faces while his eyes were pointed toward the nearest yard on the mast he was hurtling towards. He got off the rope, taking a few small steps as he positioned himself so all the regrouped pirates could feel the sweet humiliation he was ready to deliver them, and continuing to dangle his chest in their fields of vision to wave in their faces for the purpose of adding saccharine insult to tooth-rotting injury. "So long, sour balls!" he taunted, making an "I love you" symbol with his free hand as he continued laughing at them.
However, the weight of the chest became too much for him to sustain on such a narrow surface, and he began to feel his marrow turn into Jell-O as it ricocheted off the walls of his bones. "Whoa!" he screamed, catching the pirates' attention as he struggled to keep his balance. He sustained it for almost ten seconds, waving his left foot in an attempt to keep his right firmly planted on the wood, but eventually the bubblegum in his right leg popped as he lost it and began falling toward the waiting pirates below. The boy and the chest sped toward the deck, the former screaming as the latter's candy kept accelerating harder, but before they could reach terminal velocity, they landed into the arms of none other than Stickybeard, who just grabbed Alberto and threw his chest into the room where they kept all their candy (the door to which Chewy and Gooey closed triumphantly, exposing their eerily sweet teeth to the world before making triumphant gestures with their hands).
Stickybeard laughed victoriously at this surprising chain of events, dangling a still furiously protesting Alberto by the back of his shirt with his hook and setting him on the ground as he rapidly swung his fists at an imaginary opponent. "Ah, you have a passion for the candy, laddie," she began, impressed by the French/African-American boy's fighting spirit and his drive to get his candy back at any cost. "What do you say you be my new first mate?" She pointed at him before pulling him toward her with her left arm and throwing her right in the air to toast their newfound partnership (or so she hoped). "Together, we'll sail the suburbs, robbin' kids of their candy!" she continued, making spider-like motions with her fingers. "And when me teeth are all fallen out, you'll inherit me vast candy fortune and have all the candy for 200 miles!" She pointed her right index finger as if shushing someone, slightly creeping out Numbuh 5. "And that's nautical miles too, which I'm fairly certain is more than regular miles." She laughed heartily, excited at what the French/African-American boy had to say about this request.
"Hmmm…" Numbuh 5 said as he walked toward the boat's stern, pondering the candy pirate captain's proposal. "That's a lot of candy," he remarked to himself, stopping to think about every last piece he could eat as he was led toward a fantasy of candy planets in a solar system with him as its sun. He stood there, happily imagining himself readying his taste bud army to invade the planets and reduce their sugary civilizations to nothing, and wearing the sugary scars on his teeth to show for his victory. But just as he was getting into the good parts, he heard the voices of his teammates praising him for bringing them candy, breaking his concentration and causing his mind to fly off the handle, his thoughts swirling around like honeybees defending their hive against an unknown intrusive force as he stood there flabbergasted at the decision he had to make. "So, what do you say, laddie?" said a familiar voice to his right, bringing him back to the real world as he saw a certain candy-speckled beard staring his way.
"Thanks, Stickybun," Alberto replied, pointing his finger at the pirate captain before he turned away to retrieve his candy chest, "but Numbuh 5's already got a sweet gig."
"So, your mind's made up, is it, laddie?" Stickybeard replied, some not-so-sweet plans in store for her newfound rival forming in her brain as she thought about how to better protect the candy in the huge storage room below deck.
Thirty minutes later, Alberto was standing on a plank, looking down at all the ruin (literal and figurative) the Sweet Revenge had brought on the street below. He felt the hollow taste of emptiness in his mouth, his eyes vibrating in tune with his growling tummy as he silently cried to himself about the sweet sorrow of parting with some of the KND's candy (and one chest in particular). He struggled to keep himself upright as he began to feel the sugary saltiness of the suburbs below, worrying about his fate should he fall overboard like the pirates were pushing him to do. His eyes also began overflowing with tears, struggling to keep his hurt hidden behind an optimistic persona as anxiety began enveloping him over how his teammates were doing back at their treehouse many miles (slightly fewer nautical ones) away. He began contemplating what to do next, hoping to find some way out of this (literally as well as figuratively) sticky situation, when a sudden thought crossed his mind, instructing him to use his suppressed temptations to his advantage. "Ohh..." he began, turning back toward Stickybeard's candy-filled beard. "How much candy were you offering again?"
"Quit your stallin'!" Stickybeard yelled in response, motioning Chewy and Gooey to push her French/African-American adversary into the suburbs with their candy cane swords.
The two first mates did as they were silently told, moving their swords back and forth as if parrying off an attack. They slowly approached Numbuh 5 like muggers planning to dumbfound their next victim, quietly chuckling to themselves, and moved their free fingers around in a similar manner to a conductor in front of an orchestra, the tune of sweet victory playing in their minds at all the candy they would steal and consume for these 200 nautical miles their captain mentioned. They emanated their foul breath at the French/African-American boy, hoping to catch him off guard, but they only succeeded in making him stare more intently at the wreckage their ship was causing as five other pirates (who had brought specialized bags of candy to munch on for this occasion) slowly laughed at the spectacle they were about to witness as Chewy began poking Alberto in the back with her sword multiple times. Numbuh 5 tried to keep his cool, planting his feet in the ground even harder, but unfortunately that soil turned out to be too dry to sustain a fertile plant population. He began to wobble again, hoping to regain his balance as he wildly flailed his arms around in circles, but it was too late—he began his long descent toward the street below deck, his fate (and that of the candy he kept in that chest) seemingly sealed. However, he heard a familiar Tarzan yell in the distance before he got very far, which brought an exhilarated smile to his face for the first time in over half an hour.
Numbuh 2 had come to save him on a rope, her helmet straps flowing in the wind as she glided on a rope from a flying KND ship not far from the Sweet Revenge. She held Alberto close to her with her free hand, taking the latter by surprise, and propelled herself forward with her feet to speed up their escape, her adrenaline in tune with her French/African-American teammate's as they advanced toward the mast of the ship where Numbuh 5 had stood earlier. On his request, she dropped him off on the yard, continuing her descent upward as she sped away to look for reinforcements in their mission. Numbuh 5 just stared at the flying ship, his enthusiasm reaching its popping point as he prepared to resume his plan of counterattack. "It's candy time!" he yelled, pumping his fist in the air to signal his and Hillary's allies to move closer to the candy pirate ship.
Up in the air, the KND ship sailed majestically, speeding about one knot faster than the enemy ship below, preparing to aid Numbuhs 2 and 5 in battle. Its white sails (especially the central one with KND in red letters) proudly displayed themselves to the ship's occupants, their cloth billowing forward in rhythm with the strong tailwind working in tandem with the vehicle's thrusters, the resulting sound humming in a similar manner to bees buzzing toward flowers to collect their tribute, and their white cloth deflecting the radiation from the sun like a high-pressure hose slicing through years of grime on an old abandoned car found in a barn. The telescope stared down at everyone on board the ship, whirring its green dome-shaped lens like a radar, craning its tube up and down as if to analyze a building from top to bottom, and spinning in a manner resembling a car's tires scraping down the road. The top of a tree also formed the center, the leaves shining sunlight onto the French/African-American boy as if to signal a new start of life for him, the branches supporting the front of the ship and a few houses as if it were Atlas holding up the world, and the bark bravely taking on all oncoming challengers like a knight in a freshly polished suit of armor. It had flown all the way there to save the candy contained within the belly of the Sweet Revenge, braving sudden gusts of wind and narrowly avoiding flocks of birds in the process, and nothing was going to stand in its way.
At the helm were Numbuhs 1, 3, and 4, ready to respond to their teammates' request for help in getting back their candy. They stared down at the pirate ship, their eyes burning with confidence, preparing their legs to jump down and their brains to engage the candy pirates in battle for round two. They had also donned some costume items in their closet for the occasion, Numbuh 1 wearing a blue navy captain hat and Numbuh 4 sporting a bandanna over the top of her hair, to show the pirates who was truly the owner of the sugary treats waiting below the Sweet Revenge's deck and win a glorious victory to be told to future generations of the Kids Next Door. "Take her down, Numbuh 4!" Numbuh 1 commanded, pointing at the ship and the pirates occupying the area.
"Hi, pirates!" Numbuh 3 chirped, waving as Numbuh 4 steered the ship downward toward a point just above the middle of the starboard railing.
"Sugar me timbers! We're under attack!" Stickybeard exclaimed as she watched the juvenile operatives descend upon her and her crew's street-wrecking vessel, pointing at the approaching jib. "Prepare to repel boarders!" she commanded, rallying her crew to stop this assault with a wave of her candy cane hook.
"Kids Next Door, attack!" Numbuh 1 shot back at her teammates, lowering two of the ropes so the three operatives aboard the flying treeship could counter the candy pirates' tactics.
The battle for the candy and the frenzy on the ship resumed as the numbuhs lowered themselves on the ropes, beckoning all participants to come forward with whatever prowess they possessed. They ran around quickly, moving themselves into position, ready to make history in both the KND and candy piracy books currently circulating around the globe, some pirates grabbing whatever swords they could find in the barrels while others rushed for the mounted lollipop guns and the operatives sped up their descent on the ropes. Numbuh 2 also jumped down from her rope on the ship's frontmost port, flying toward the pirates like she'd done at Papa Stuffum's army earlier, her feet thudding on the ground as she did a somersault and knocked a few of them back like bowling pins. At the same time, Numbuhs 1 and 4 were reaching the ends of their ropes, eyeing a pirate who was observing them several feet from where Stickybeard stood, one of the same ones they had fended off a few hours earlier to defend their candy. "Give it up!" the British girl commanded her, briefly inflating the pirate's eyes to the limits of their sockets. "We've got you surrounded!"
But the pirate didn't listen to Nicole, and motioned one of her crewmates (who was manning a gun) to take them down, not in the mood to listen to a kid about as sticky-fingered as she was. The latter grabbed a belt of hard candy cartridges nearby and loaded it into the gun, her mind dancing at the thought of achieving certain victory over the Kids Next Door as her taste buds began to erupt again. She aimed the gun at the two kids in front of her crewmate, her laser vision tuned to its maximum settings to ensure she would never miss, and then opened fire on her adversaries, spilling plastic wrappings all over the place as she moved her weapon around in response to their movements. The ammunition flew all over the wood, ricocheting on the floor as the kids tried whatever they could to dodge it (Numbuh 1 even falling once in the process), and began chasing the bald-spotted British girl as she and her Australian teammate ran away, hoping to get another good hit to knock her off her feet.
At the same time, Kenji was swinging down from his rope at the KND ship's starboard, ready to practice his acrobatic moves again. He flew gracefully in the air, doing several flips and turns like a dolphin performing tricks for its fellow marine life, and landed on the rail without a sound, speeding down it in a similar manner to the ever-changing stairs at the fun house he'd been to at a county fair a few times. He laughed to himself as a few more pirates angrily chased him, ready to pummel him to the ground once more with their swords and pistols, and continued sliding across the ground at a breakneck speed, quickly braking himself once he saw something mysterious in pink and white. "Aha!" he said as he turned around to look at the source of these colors, gazing upon them in marvel as he read what it said. Gumballs, he thought, his teeth excitedly chattering to chew them as he looked at the writing on a box near. That's what I need to get these pirates off our tail.
In response to this, he opened the box, his mouth watering at the thought of chewing a big bubble like his Australian teammate was preparing to do elsewhere. The pirates approached him, ready to take down their foe and put him out of commission for interrupting their planned feast. However, the Japanese boy literally had a trick up his sleeve they could not have anticipated—he grabbed a handful of the candy he'd hidden in his sweater, aiming it in their direction to get a maximum overload of sugar kicked into their minds, and launched it toward the floor in front of them, grabbing another handful as he giggled at what would happen next. The pirates menacingly advanced toward Kenji, ready to grab their swords and knock him down to prevent him from doing his acrobatic routine on them a second time, but the bright-colored gumballs caught their eyes, drowning their logic in temptation to get one sugary taste of them as they picked them up and began chewing enthusiastically, their furious scowls replaced by sunshiny smiles as they crawled after their next gummy delicacies on the wood.
On yet another part of the ship, two more pirates were swinging their swords at Numbuh 4, trying to catch her off guard. They advanced upon her menacingly, profaning their rotting teeth (and the holes were some of them once were) to scare her and disrupt her focus. Their foul-and-sweet-smelling saliva welled up in their mouths, eager to taste any candy the Australian girl had on her person and savor the syrupy flavor of victory they had waited for ever since they engaged her and her teammates in battle back at their treehouse. "Give it up, Junior!" one of them shouted, hoping to clean her mind of any sugar-filled delicacies already prancing around, but Numbuh 4 had a different trick up her sleeve.
She stopped chewing the bubblegum she'd been chomping in her mouth, pulled a thin layer past her teeth with her tongue, and inhaled all the air her lungs could handle before they began pushing on her ribcage. She turned to a spot between her adversaries, her laser vision turned up to the highest possible setting, and leaned forward with her fists behind her back, ready to show the candy pirates who was the true owner of the candy they'd stolen from the treehouse. Her lungs began forcing the air out, forming a pink bubble that began growing and growing, stretching and stretching, pushing more and more air molecules out of the way, spinning her lung motors faster and faster until it reached a diameter of five sugar-encrusted feet. The bubble began shaking violently, vibrating faster and faster and its tiny stretchy veins growing more and more eager to win a high-stakes boxing match with the two world champions of the sport standing before it. This display of emotion wowed the other pirate while the first one just stood there stonily, prompting Numbuh 4 to take advantage of this distraction to unleash her pink sticky partner upon them, the impact of which sent them flying at a breakneck speed off the floor of the ship and into the ropes constituting the rigging, where they were caught like helpless flies awaiting the webs' resident spiders to prepare their next meals.
Not far from where Willie was standing, Nicole was commanding her teammates in the heat of battle, shouting at them to change strategies when it looked like the pirates were going to overwhelm them (and at the pirates to stop attacking the kids lest they face dire consequences from the KND), and stomping her feet whenever the sound got too much for them to hear. She looked around the ship, searching for anything they could use to their advantage, when she saw Hillary fighting a few pirates wielding Jolly Rancher pistols and gobbling up their ammunition every time it hit her. "Numbuh 2, grab the wheel of the ship!" Nicole yelled, pointing at the helm as she ducked below a pirate swinging her sword at her head, prompting the Jewish-American girl to dart up the stairs toward the top of the stern.
While Numbuh 1 and the pirate continued dueling with their swords (the former's having been stolen from another pirate she'd beaten earlier), Numbuh 2 reached the top of the stairs, ready to steer the Sweet Revenge back toward the treehouse the pirates had raided a few hours earlier. She saw Chewy and Gooey at the wheel, their eyes wide with wonder at their next target, steering the wheel toward a circus-themed candy store in the distance that kids frequented on a daily basis. They laughed at each other's jokes, quipping back about who would have the greater cut of candy, showing their sugar-covered teeth to the outside world to scare any potential trespassers from interfering with any of their operations. Indignant at this, the goggles-wearing Jewish-American girl jumped at the wheel, grabbing it from them and turning it back the opposite direction as the two first mates tried to take it back from her.
The candy pirate ship began to swerve alternatively to the left and right, tearing up a major intersection and crushing multiple cars in the process, unsure of whose will to submit to as it tried to regain its focus in the mission. It began to wobble to the side, threatening to tip over if it was pushed too far (both literally and figuratively), triggering a self-defense mechanism in everyone aboard (including Numbuh 5, who was climbing down from the mast whose yard he was standing on) to keep their balance or risk losing their place and candy on the vessel. Numbuh 2 and Chewy and Gooey kept fighting over the wheel, pushing each other around, grabbing the handles with their hands, and turning it in an increasingly jolting manner as they tried to assert their dominance over the stash of candy in its belly. While this was happening, Numbuh 5 stood up and planted his feet in the ground, too focused on obtaining a certain chest of sweet confectionary treats to be fazed by the Sweet Revenge's jerky movements. "My candy's got to be here somewhere," he stated, looking around the ship for any sign of this chest. As he was looking, however, the battle between his Jewish-American teammate and his candy-bearded enemy's first mates crept up to his location, unwilling to have its presence unknown to any person, KND or candy pirate. It began shaking the ground the French/African-American boy was standing on, painting elastic slime on the soles of his feet as he began losing his balance, knocking him into the ship's wall at port and then propelling him towards the trapdoor that stood a few yards in front of him as he tried to regain his balance.
Alberto fell into an abyss of what felt like snow-covered sand, speeding down the hill as if he were on an out-of-control sled struggling to navigate the icy paths. He hit a few bumps on the road, jumping upward as if he were a car hitting a pothole, and took several small hits to his ischium that grew in intensity with each successive one. He kept sliding down the slope, trying to regain control of himself and stop himself from going further on the lubricant surface before he met his untimely demise, but it was no use—his hands were too sweaty, his mind racing too fast to focus on the objective, and his legs were a little too weak from all the pressure the jostling of the boat had brought to find a good stopping point. What he saw next, however, shocked him.
He got himself back up on his feet; dusting himself off as he looked around the room for anything he could use to escape; but all he could see were mountains of candy peppered with all flavors, shapes, sizes, types, and the occasional container among them. He started walking toward a pile to get a better view, hoping that some hidden gem might be found that would allow him to end the chaos surrounding the candy in the ship. He also began to climb the pile, eating a few candy pieces in the process, motivated by his hunger for sugar and conflict resolution that kept his laser focus on high alert as he left multicolored footprints in his wake. When he reached the top, a glorious sight greeted him—the candy spread on for what seemed like miles, shining its sugar-coated exteriors at him to tempt him to continue his mouth-overflowing feast, some of it even trying to blind his eyes to make him lose himself. The French/African-American boy stared all around in awe at this, craning his neck to the left and right to get a better view, but there was one container in particular he sought.
That container stood atop another mountain, its metal shining like that of a sword flashing itself to announce its presence to the enemy. Its wood was still in tip-top shape, unaffected by the journey despite all the candy whose residue lay on its surface battering it with all its sugar. The lock remained in mint condition, beckoning unsuspecting people (kids, candy pirates, and others alike) with all the assorted smells and tastes from the treats residing within the walls. These factors all captured Numbuh 5's attention, drawing him to the candy like a moth to light and prompting him to come and take its contents back to where they belonged. "Bingo!" he said, his voice slightly echoing off the wooden walls as he prepared to make his descent.
He ran down the hill he was standing on, his arms out like an airplane as he navigated the candypack to avoid triggering an avalanche. He jumped toward the next pile as soon as he reached the bottom, slightly slipping as if he had stepped on a banana peel when he landed on its slope. He also ate some more pieces as he began his ascent toward the top; his brain mixing all the textures, flavors, juices, scents, and levels of crunchiness as he got closer and closer to his target; leaving more multicolored footprints (and handprints and kneeprints) behind in the process. While he did this, he began singing a jazzy tune his parents had taught him about the different flavors of candy, dancing to the rhythm whenever a major beat came up or the tempo changed, moving faster as the song progressed.
When he reached the pile the chest had claimed as its throne, the French/African-American boy sped up his movements, the tastes and smells finally within his vicinity. He reached his right hand towards the handle, the sweet sight of the familiar metal approaching his grasp as he thought about all the candy he and his teammates would resume eating after their harrowing encounter with the candy pirates. This also extended to the rest of his body as soon as he reached the top, his joints feeling some of their much-needed loosening since he'd been tied up with licorice to that mast. "There you are!" he shouted, hugging the container with his left arm as soon as they were reunited, joyously preparing to leave together. But unfortunately, the reunion was cut short by a certain implement whacking Alberto's head, releasing a quick scream from his mouth.
Numbuh 5 looked up toward the source of this jab, alarmed at having been discovered. He turned his eyes toward the rotten surprise that awaited him, his lungs and stomach constricting at the thought of all his efforts having gone to waste. Stickybeard had come below deck to check on her ship's candy supply, the fury in her eyes growing brighter at each move Alberto's fellow Kids Next Door operatives made to get a stab at it, and she wasn't about to let her and her crew lose their long-accumulated sugar supply. "Me thinks you've had enough candy for one day, laddie!" she shouted, pointing her sword at the operative standing in front of her.
"I'll see you at the dentist!" Numbuh 5 shouted in response, trying to sound threatening, but his mouth was too full of candy to produce coherent words.
"Eh? What was that?" the pirate captain asked, confusedly looking down at him.
"I said," Alberto replied, pulling another sword out of the pile, "I'll see you…at the dentist!" He swung his sword at Stickybeard as the latter did the same to him, crossing them together as they began their next duel.
The two candy fanatics wildly swung their swords at each other, trying to knock each other off the candy heaps. They paced back and forth furiously, each knocking the other a few feet backward with some of their blows, the candy crunching beneath their feet in a series of sweetly sorrowful cracks. They also kicked small pieces at each other, hoping to chip away at the momentum in their legs, but that only motivated them to keep going harder and finish their score once and for all. "You're makin' a mistake!" Stickybeard yelled, her sword eager for ever more action as its adrenaline rushed faster and faster throughout its body in its attempts to take down Numbuh 5. "No bratty kids could give you...as much candy as I can!" The two combatants got into an even wilder frenzy without regard for their balance, which only intensified the stronger their minds desired the contents of that chest, and sent their saliva over the edges of their teeth quickly enough to overflow a clogged sink into the bathroom floor below.
Numbuh 5, having had enough of his candy chest being kept away from the Kids Next Door, swung his foot backwards as if he were about to punt a football out of the stadium. "Your candy's," he began, moving his foot forward and discharging a large number of candy pieces from the candy mounds below onto his foe's body, "sugar-free!"
"Argh?" Stickybeard said, looking down at her clothes, which candy clung to like mosquitos sucking out her blood sugar. "I'll show ye!" She swung her sword at Numbuh 5's, snapping it in two pieces just above the hilt, finally seeing her chance for victory over the Kids Next Door operatives come to fruition.
"Aww!" Numbuh 5 said, looking down at his broken sword. "That was perfectly good candy."
But Stickybeard brushed off his concerns, too incensed by the wedge that Alberto had driven into her plans for a smooth trip on her next candy-thieving expedition. "What a waste!" she yelled, shaking her head at the French/African-American boy. Her mental engine revved itself up to the maximum level; her eyes burning brighter than ever with fury, her few rotten teeth vibrating faster than the inner workings of a massage gun on full blast, and her beard hair standing out straight as if she were being electrocuted; as she prepared to deliver the defeating blow to her adversary. "Argh!" she yelled, shoving Alberto into the wall with her sword and staring menacingly at him. "Foolish boy!"
Hillary was still fighting Chewy and Gooey over the wheel of the ship; and the Sweet Revenge was still swerving out of control; crushing all sorts of buildings, trees, vehicles, telephone poles, and the like as it continued tearing a path through the road. Its patience continued to stretch thin, its owner's mind being driven (literally as well as figuratively) to the point of insanity as it tried to maintain its focus in these tough times. The vessel sped onward, leaving massive destruction in its wake as it attempted to make its final decision, but little did it know that it would soon lose this focus (and a lot of its candy) a few seconds later.
Back in the candy storage room, Stickybeard was still holding Alberto against the wall, furious at the lack of candy from the chest they were vying for. She held her sword against his neck, inching closer and closer with every passing millisecond, aiming to knock any candy still going down the latter's throat out as she still fumed over the French/African-American boy's verdict over half an hour earlier, her sweet-and-foul-smelling breath drew closer and closer to his face and causing him to recoil in disgust. "Since ye won't join me," she began, her plaque-covered teeth grossing her adversary out even further as he tried to keep his cool, "you'll just have to…" But before she could finish, the ship started rumbling loudly. "Eh?" she asked, looking around for the source as it grew louder, but before she or Alberto could find out, they were suddenly knocked out of the ship, both of them screaming as they were caught up in the wave of sugar-filled delicacies propelling them to the ground below.
The ship had crashed into a two-story elementary school with white walls, green roofs, and red outer doors, the impact having created a huge hole below deck at starboard. The candy pushed itself against the walls, yearning to get out and see the world beyond the confines of the ship's walls, and then the various pieces and containers fought each other to be the first to reach the newly discovered (in their eyes) ground. These candies spread across the floor (and the school), coating them as if they were fresh paint from a can kicked over. The children on the playground saw this, gasping happily as they thought about all the free treats that awaited them. "Candy!" they shouted, running towards the pile.
Seconds later, Numbuh 5 emerged, his head aching from the tsunami that had thrown him and many of the pirates (including their captain) overboard. He looked around him, trying to find a way to get his chest back, as a few of the pirates also poked their heads out to find a way to retake command of their ship. They spotted Alberto sitting a few yards in front of them, their minds ready to throw him overboard for daring to ruffle their crew's feathers in terms of taking candy. "There he is!" they shouted, starting to advance towards him and eliciting an "Uh-oh!" from the French/African-American boy, but the schoolchildren's screams broke their concentration, causing the pirates to duck down again as the kids started consuming the candy they were standing on.
"Chow down, kids," Numbuh 5 laughed, grabbing a gumball and starting to chew it as he started turning his head to watch the frenzy, but he was suddenly interrupted by Stickybeard emerging to finish their battle for the candy chest. "Aaargh!" she yelled, raising her sword in the air, but the sudden rush of children shocked her, freezing her in her tracks.
Numbuh 5 just shook his head at this, amused by this amazing turn of events. He scanned the area around him for his chest, eager to finally resume the feast he and his teammates had begun before the pirates had invaded. He stared upon the glittering sugar in his path in all its glory, a huge smile tugging at his face at all the candy he and his team would be taking back to their treehouse, which only grew when he heard a familiar voice from above. "Numbuh 5!" Numbuh 2 shouted, waving at her French/African-American teammate from the rigging as the others stood on deck. "Are you alright?!"
"Feelin' sweet, baby!" he responded, looking back up at Hillary. "Feelin' sweet!"
The Kids Next Door operatives prepared to board the Sweet Revenge, grabbing all their candy they could to take on the journey home. They set a course back to the treehouse, Numbuh 2 taking the wheel and turning the vessel back toward the path it had formed to ensure minimal damage to the surrounding environment. The wind blew past them as they sailed away, heroically whipping their clothes and calling for them to stand majestically at the helm and jib as a testament to their great efforts. Numbuh 5 just smiled at this, happy they had earned their bounty back and they would get their reward back at the structure just above Numbuh 1's house. It was challenging to do so, but with their effort and tenacity they had accomplished this. After all, they were operatives of the Kids Next Door, and nothing could stand between them and their precious candy, their pile of which would only continue to grow as their adventures went on.
End Transmission
However, Stickybeard and her crew weren't so lucky. The Sweet Revenge had suffered serious damage to its hull, their entire stash of candy had spilled out in front of a school where the children had consumed a fair chunk of the sweet treats scattered around their playground, and its crew had been left in a disorganized state while they searched all over for their ship. To make matters worse, some of them had boarded whatever lifeboats they could to escape this disaster, including Stickybeard herself and her first mates on one called the Bitter Sweet. They rowed as fast as they could, trying to find another suitable vessel to commandeer in order to recover their lost candy, but so far not much progress was being made—they were stranded in the middle of a neighborhood street off their charts, the temptation of the houses' candy too strong to be resisted despite their best efforts, the oars kept getting caught on the asphalt, and the captain was covered in sticky gunk of all flavors and colors (and her hat was partially chewed). Chewy and Gooey still pushed forward despite this, rowing as fast as they could.
"Keep rowing, mateys!" Stickybeard encouraged, hoping they could find a suitable vessel if they persisted. "Keep rowing!"
But it was no use—the Bitter Sweet only went slightly faster on the street, and there was no sign of their charted territory. They kept rowing into the sunset, their hopes of success still high, but their path was growing increasingly narrow. They may have lost their ship, but there was still one thing the KND couldn't destroy—their desire for candy—and they were ready to weaponize it again when they next encountered them.
The next chapter, "Operation: C.O.W.B.O.Y.," will be up as soon as I finish it (within the next 4-8 weeks, I hope)! For real this time, I won't be doing that procrastination stuff; and I'll also be sure not to let my "show, don't tell" stuff slow the narrative with a ton of words. Be on the lookout for when that happens!