"We're so pleased to have you here, Christina Cunningham! Just pleased as punch! You'll super-duper love our campus, I'm sure! It's the bee's knees. And you must be Jason!"

Chrissy poked Eddie's side, knocking him from his reverie. He'd been staring at the too-perky tour guide, wondering who the hell still spoke like that and how many lines of coffee she'd snorted before coming to meet them, so he missed her question at the end.

For a second, he forgot and started to gag at the idea of being compared in any way to Jason, until Chrissy nudged him again.

"Oh! Yes, yep, uh-huh, that's me! I'm Jason Carver; beloved sports star, all-American sweetheart, sort of a dic-," Before he could finish, Chrissy hit him in his ribs, sending a dirty look, "Yep, I am totally Jason."

Okay, he knew he sucked at lying. It had been Chrissy's fault, though! Dragging him into this.

If the over-enthusiastic guide noticed anything amiss she wisely chose not to pry.

"The coaches can't meet with you today, Jason, but we'll be sure to show you all the fields that you might get an opportunity to play on here at Butler."

"Bodacious," Eddie said. It's not slang he'd ever use, but maybe Jason said stupid words like that? Though, judging from the way Chrissy was giving him 'what the heck' eyes, maybe not.

When they arrived at Butler 8 am on the dot, just as Chrissy planned. When Eddie planned for things, they were on time only about 30%, so he was already impressed. And that was still with Eddie forgetting to set his alarm properly and having Chrissy have to throw rocks at his window this morning to rouse him. Of course, his morning routine was hardly any big production, so he was able to be on the road within minutes.

At first, he'd just waved her off like a parent dropping off their child and said he'd just chill in the car.

"But you came all this way!" Chrissy argued.

"Yeah, and college campuses give me hives," Eddie argued, "The mere idea of them is making me shudder."

"Oh, come on, Eddie," Chrissy sighed, "You're really going to let me wander these campuses alone?"

"They're safe…" He frowned, "I think…"

"It's not about safety, it's that…" She struggled, "I asked to spend the day with you."

"I thought you were just using me for my awesome music tastes," Eddie said with a grin, trying to hide how flattered he was.

"Eddie!" Chrissy said, grasping his wrist and dragging him out of the vehicle, "Jason's not here so you can just…be Jason for today."

Eddie grasped his throat and pretended to vomit, "That literally will make me keel over and die," He said dramatically, "Being Jason…yuch! I'm not sure what would kill me first; his ego the size of Indiana or his self-righteousness the size of Wisconsin. Or maybe that cologne he wears would suffocate me. Yep, definitely the cologne."

Chrissy delivered a swift hit to his side. She was faster than he would have thought.

"Alright, alright! But, uh, I don't think anyone's gunna believe I'm your totally milquetoast and slightly deranged boyfriend. I, for one, look much cooler."

"We'll fix that," Chrissy said, and though he didn't think it possible, she did.

Or, at least, she knew how to edit him.

Take off his layers to just a white tee. Drop all his chains and pins from his jeans into the center console and cuff his jeans like he's a damn greaser. Hide his hair under a baseball hat she scrouged up in the back.

When he catches a glimpse of himself in a mirrored building on the way to the quad, he jumped a bit, not recognizing himself.

Just to make sure his body wasn't taken by a demon, he threw out his tongue and threw the window the finger.

Ah, yes. Still him.

When he turned and noticed Chrissy watching, he gave his reasoning, which sounded sort of stupid said out loud. Luckily, Chrissy just grinned.

"No one thinks like you do, huh, Munson?"

"Naw, and no one ever will."

Chrissy sighed, "You know, for all the…" She twitched her nose, unable to articulate.

"Shitty things people think about me?" Eddie supplied.

"Yeah, that. For all that it's worth," She turned as they reached the quad where a violently neon-garbed college student was waiting, "I sometimes wish I had even a fourth of the confidence you have in yourself."

Then they were being accosted by Miss Perky Patricia (as Eddie had decided to call her) and there wasn't time to unpack that at all, though he was itching to dig into every little meaning of that idea.

Him, more confident than her? Was she joking? She was Chrissy freaking Cunningham, queen of the cheer squad! He was Eddie the Coward Munson, who ran away at the slightest hint of danger.

Pretending to be Jason, and feeling so out of sorts, did give him some perspective, though. He felt like an entirely different alien person in this outfit, though it was almost all his own clothes. It was amazing how the addition of some chains, ripped denim, and leather could really make or break an outfit.

Maybe that's what she meant.

Eddie always knew who he was as a person; a nerd, an outcast, a weirdo, the trailer-park kid. He'd never pretended he was anything different and most days he didn't want to be.

Yes, he knew that playing Dungeons and Dragons was a very unpopular choice in school, but screw anyone who gave him any shit for it. He'd rather be authentically Eddie every day than have to hide himself to fit some bullshit norms and societal expectations.

As Perky Patricia gushed about the lecture halls (who got turned on by lecture halls? Apparently her, but he reckoned that was a weird fetish and not the norm), Eddie found himself focused on Chrissy. She was taking in everything this campus had to offer, so she wasn't noticing him watching her.

Did Chrissy feel like she was pretending in her life? Did she feel like there was something about it that wasn't real?

It wasn't something for him to pry at, not without more prompting than she wanted him to, so Eddie (who zoned out most of the time) kept himself busy by watching Chrissy's reactions to things.

She wanted this. The college experience. The extended learning. The freedom of being away, but not the full responsibility. The fell of it all.

College, even when Eddie hadn't failed senior year twice, was not something on his high list of things he wanted to do. It was even lower now, which was pretty damn low. Going to college was even lower than wanting to apologize to Jason and tell him he was an alright dude, and that would only happen if hell froze over.

Eddie tried to seem attentive when Perky Patricia was showing them the sports facilities. Eddie had never been a 'team player' in traditional sports. His mom had put him in soccer as a kindergartener, but that was short-lived. Other than the dreaded gym class, Eddie did very little physical activity.

He was glad a pop quiz of sports terms wasn't sprung on him, because he would have failed. As it was, he recognized that they were very nice sports fields (not like the patchy grass out back that Hawkins High had, or the baseball diamond with half the chain links missing) and that if he did like sports, as Jason did, it would probably be incredible to come to study here.

As Chrissy took about thirty brochures from the stand at the end of the tour, Eddie hung back. Perky Patricia stood with him.

"It's so cute you two are applying together," She said earnestly, "You know, I see a lot of high-school sweethearts come on tour together."

"Yeah?" Eddie asked absently, only catching bits and pieces of the end of her sentence. He was thinking about how cute it was that Chrissy was methodically organizing the brochures in her hands like it wouldn't be scattered on the floor of her dad's car as soon as they hopped in.

"Most of them won't make it. You just pick up on some things after being a tour guide as long as you do. Most high school sweethearts break up, and they should. But you two? You're the real deal. I think you'll be okay."

This did catch Eddie's attention. His knee-jerk reaction was to say that, oh, she must be horribly mistaken, he wasn't with Chrissy. Until he recalled…he was. At least, today, as Jason, he was.

He leaned into it. To the fantasy of it all. He shot Perky Patricia his first genuine smile.

"You think?"

"I see how you look at her, Jason," Patricia assured, "And it's pure. But I also see how she looks at you."

Before Eddie could whittle more information from her, Chrissy came back, arms full of folded paper.

"Where to next?" Perky Patricia asked Chrissy.

"We have Indiana Bloomington, Purdue, Indiana State, and Ball State."

Internally, Eddie shuddered. Four more of these? Yuck.

Then, he thought, he got to be Jason; legally allowed to date Chrissy in the eyes of everyone, and his day brightened.

Just a bit.

XXX

Eddie soon learned that all colleges were the same.

Okay, if he were to say that to anyone, he knew he'd sound stupid, but hear him out.

All the college tours felt like the same sort of theatrics. Some preppy and over-caffeinated (or perhaps over-drugged) star students would meet them. They'd know way too much about them, things that Eddie would say were a bit too personal. They'd ask the exact right questions that someone who wasn't cynical, like Chrissy (and probably Jason) would just eat up.

Then, they'd take them around.

And their tours would go something like this. Eddie wants to make clear to the audience at home a disclaimer to obvious paraphrasing because Eddie was just trying to give the feel of it:

"Oh, look at these lovely dorms where you'll be squished like cattle!"

"There's this rock on campus that is so unique to our school and nowhere else has any strange large bolder at all!"

"This is the cafeteria where the food is probably not what you're paying for tuition, but you don't have another choice."

"These are our lecture halls where you'll sit for hours on end and hear a professor drone on and then be quizzed on things that were never talked about. It's also super old, smells like mothballs, and has bats because that's obviously a good thing!"

"Here's the sports fields where you'll do many sporty things and girls will just throw their panties at you when you flex your big strong muscles."

"Here's a central quad where people bike or picnic or try not to be hit by bikes while picnicking."

"Here's our Campus Store complete with everyone you'll need. I mean, who couldn't pass up a cringe tee shirt in our color and logo?"

"Here's the campus convenience store, where you can get anything from mac n cheese to condoms. We're more progressive than your high school, so our condoms come in different colors!"

Rinse, repeat.

Perhaps he's being a bit mean. His hatred for college is seeping into his opinions, but honestly, is any of what he said untrue?

He asks Chrissy this as they start the drive back to Hawkins.

"That's…that's not…" He thinks for a second he's really fucked up, until he sees a smile escape from underneath her scowl, "Okay, some of that is true."

"It's all completely factual, Chrissy."

"Partially," She wiggled a finger, "But yeah, why did every campus we go to have some strange bolder in the middle of the campus?" She considered, "I thought you weren't paying attention."

"I like to surprise and dismay," Eddie said, throwing his feet up against the dashboard, "And…I decided after the second tour that I could be super bored the whole time or actually pay attention."

"I'm proud of you," Chrissy said.

"Still not like I'm going," He said, watching the rain pelt down outside, "Oh, don't pity me. It's not like that. It was fun to be Jason, the kid who goes to college for one day, but I'm ready to rinse him away from me."

Chrissy turned her head slightly, "Is that the…only reason you pretended to be Jason?" She asked.

He had edged the line a bit. Hand on her shoulder, brushing up against her as they walked, whispering quietly in her ear…nothing completely out of bounds of what would be appropriate with someone dating someone else, but things he wouldn't do otherwise, if not under the guise of protection of being Jason for today.

He frowned, "Chrissy, you know exactly what the answer to that is," He said, feeling a surge of frustration prickle at his mind. Not at her, not necessarily, but the first time he finds something good and true and real, the universe has to go and fuck it up by making the whole world think he tried to murder her.

He never thought the Munson name was truly cursed until now.

Whatever Chrissy was about to say was interrupted by the car creaking to a slow halt in the middle of the road.

"Chrissy, one tiny question," Eddie said sitting up straight, "Why did you stop?"

Chrissy turned, frantic, "It wasn't my choice, Eddie!" She said, beginning to get hysterical, "Oh god, oh god-,"

"Woah, okay, let's breathe. In…yeah….out," Eddie said, reaching for her shoulders, "Didn't mean to terrify you. Okay, let's, uhm…hazards," He said, hitting the button, "Let's just…turn it off and try to re-start it."

"Right, okay," Chrissy said, face still bright red.

They tried that and…nothing.

They were in the middle of backroads nowhere and the night was only getting darker and the sky was continuing to rain harder.

"Fuck," Eddie groaned, "I saw a diner about a mile back. I'll try to push the car and I'll take a look at it when we're under a streetlamp."

"Can you fix it?" Chrissy asked. Eddie sighed.

"I don't know. I've fixed a lot, but I don't know about this car. Okay, just…stay in here. Keep the gear not in park. It wasn't very far, thankfully."

Apparently, too far for him to push. He came and tapped on her window after twenty minutes and she couldn't tell if he was sweating or just soaked. She stifled a laugh after having a minor heart attack.

"What?" He asked.

"You look like a drowned rat."

"A sexy drowned rat," Eddie said with a flirty grin, "Okay, here's the deal. I need help. I'm gunna run to the diner and see if someone is willing to be a kind samaritan."

"I'm coming with you," Chrissy said, unbuckling her seat belt.

"What? No, you'll get soaked, Chrissy. It's fine, stay here."

"Eddie, it's the middle of the night. Gives me the creeps. I'd rather be sopping wet than killed…again." She said after a pause.

"Right, right, fuck, sorry," Eddie winced, "Okay, let's go."

It wasn't far away, but still, Eddie was relieved he didn't have to push it. Was it a sign he should start working out a bit more? Maybe.

Luckily, it seemed there were a few patrons in the shop. Eddie prayed none of them were serial murders as he darted in. He talked to a few of the men, motioning with his hands as he tried to describe the absolute shit he was in with this car right now, trying to seem as much as an innocent and useless teenager as he could, hoping to garner sympathy. In a few moments, he came out with two people in tow.

"Stay here, girl," One said, "We'll be back."

"You should get warmed up," Eddie said, "Here," He fished some cash from his pocket, "Get a hot chocolate or something."

"I'll wait until the car arrives," Chrissy said, shivering, "My dad will kill me if something happens to that car."

"Chrissy, if you return with an illness, you'll be stuck at home for at least the week," He pointed out, and that was enough to convince her to at least wait in the little lobby inside.

The men pushed the car all the way to the parking lot.

He made polite small talk as they pushed; his name, what they were doing out, where they wanted to go to school, what he thought of the campuses (the more censored version), and all that jazz. The men seemed kind enough, and when they pushed it to the parking lot, one of the men popped the hood.

"I'm a mechanic. I'll see what I can do for you. You and your girl should get inside and have a meal while I check it out."

Eddie decided to trust him and hoped it wasn't going to be a mistake.

"Okay," He relented after a long moment.

Chrissy was at a payphone, "Yes, Daddy it just stopped. I'm at Mike's Diner in…gosh, I don't even know what town," She said, sounding exhausted and frazzled. Eddie motioned for her to cover the phone and explained the situation. After a few moments, she got the mechanic on the line, who said he was certain he could fix it in an hour or two, no worries at all.

"Your dad worried?" Eddie asked as they sat.

"I didn't think I could ever be as wet as I am now. Is it possible my bones are wet too?" Chrissy shuddered, ignoring the question, "I must also look like a drowned rat."

"It's a new look," Eddie said, grinning, shaking out his hair like a dog.

"My dad's feeling guilty. Mom told him the car was making a weird noise, but he ignored her," Chrissy sipped on what looked like a tea she'd gotten, "I'm not usually on my mom's side but…" She shrugged, "Wish it hadn't happened here and now."

"Yeah," Eddie started to look over the menu, "Pretty bad luck, huh?"

"At least we'll get it fixed soon. I wouldn't even know of any hotels near here."

Suddenly, Eddie hoped they wouldn't figure it out. No one knew he was here with her; the idea of sleeping in a hotel room with Chrissy, even on separate beds, made his heart pound funny. A full finish to this day that was never his, to begin with.

The waitress came over, "What can I do you for?" She asked, pen poised and ready.

"Ooh, I'll have…it all looks good…well, how about…hmm…" Eddie rubbed his chin, "You order first, Criss."

Chrissy waved her hand, "Oh, nothing for me."

"Oh, come on. We don't have anything better to do. The last thing you ate was that terrible sandwich that Purdue provided. It was basically just bread and mayo." He said.

"Really, I'm fine," She insisted.

"Give us two orders of midnight pancakes with a side of eggs and bacon. Ooh, and a basket of fries." He said, grinning at Chrissy, "Breakfast for dinner is my favorite." Or, it was cheap, and sometimes the only thing he had growing up, but he chose to focus on the positives.

Once the food arrives, he sat, watching Chrissy just frown at her food. She looked up, blinking.

"Eddie, eat," She said, "Don't wait for me."

"That's exactly what I'm doing," He said, "You must be starved! No one, not even gorgeous girls like you, can survive on just that pitiful lunch we had. I'm not taking a bite until you do."

Chrissy huffed, angrily cutting her pancakes and shoving a sliver into her mouth, "Happy?"

"A little happier," Eddie said. He ate one bite, and then stopped, motioning to her plate.

"Are you serious?" Chrissy asked, "Are you honestly going to play this game the entire night?"

"Yes, and I'm stubborn as hell, so don't challenge me," He pointed his fork playfully at her, "But, look, you're small and I'm…me. So if you eat half, I'll eat all of mine. But yeah…take the next bite."

"This is probably a war crime," She muttered.

"Yeah, probably," He agreed, happy to see her eat a second bite.

They kept playing this weird game. He wasn't sure why it was necessary, but he knew that she needed food. And he was not going to bring her back in worse condition than when they'd left.

At some point, just for a moment, she sort of forgot that they were in this battle. She took a bite with a chocolate chip and just moaned happily.

At Eddie's wide grin, she choked out a laugh, "Sorry, it's just…been years since I've had pancakes."

"Years? Good god, that's far too long!" Eddie pretended to be deeply worried by her answer, "Why would you not worship at the alter that is pancakes more often?"

"My mom says they're…" She trailed off, "My mom doesn't like me eating 'em."

"Well, you can come to my trailer and eat pancakes any time you want," He said with a warm smile, "No mothers to tell you they're 'not good for you' or some other crap."

As they were finishing their meal (Chrissy did eat half of everything, and almost perfectly - perhaps suspiciously exactly half) the mechanic found them.

"You should be good to go!"

"Oh, thank you! How much do I owe you?" Chrissy asked.

"No, it's fine. You two seem like you needed a little of God's hand," He said.

"Dude, please, let her pay you. She'll just do it anyway, so you might as well name a price," He said, "or she'll hunt your shop down and send a check. I know her."

"Well…" The mechanic rubbed the back of his neck, "I guess it couldn't hurt…"

While Chrissy squared that away, Eddie paid their food bill. They got into the car and Chrissy was so relieved that they were halfway home when she realized she forgot to go to the bathroom.

"Is it bad?" Eddie said, "I can try to see where's the gas station."

"No, no, it's not that," Chrissy said, her mood souring a bit, "It's just… never mind. I can wait."

"I'll look," Eddie said, already unfurling the map.

"No, it wouldn't matter by this point," Chrissy tapped the wheel, "It's fine, it's fine, it's totally fine." It sounded like she was talking to herself more than him.

"You…okay?" He asked slowly.

"Yeah, I'm just…worried about my dad's reaction," She said.

"He'll understand. You're coming home safe and with the car fixed. You did him a favor," Eddie said, patting her upper leg. On the last pet, he left his hand there, at first just out of a selfish want. But she didn't twitch or move his hand away. If anything, she glanced down and gave a soft smile, and turned on the radio.

So, it sat there, until she dropped him off.

It was official; he was never washing this hand ever again.