All characters from Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer. I own nothing except my version of events.

A/N: Super late today, sorry. This chapter we're diving a little deeper into Bella's psyche, hopefully you guys will be able to understand her a little better and see where she's coming from. She's still a character in development, just as we all are, and she's got some space to grow. Let me know what you guys think and I'll see you next Sunday.

Toodles!

Chapter 15

"Oh sweetheart. You look gorgeous. I knew that color would look wonderful with your chocolate brown eyes!"

"Thanks." I say, uncomfortably sliding my hands down the front of my dress, or what barely passes as a dress.

It's a lavender color of a silk material that clings to my body like a second skin. I was uncomfortable in it. And not because it was a dress. Sure I didn't wear dresses often because of the weather but I did so every once in a while when the mood struck. This thing, however, felt like a nightgown. It was definitely not weather appropriate either. I know I looked good, Paul was going to die when he saw me in this, I already anticipated his reaction and I couldn't wait.

I missed him. All week I'd asked him not to come over, not until I felt better about my mom being here. I knew my moods would be erratic because of her and I didn't want him to think it had anything to do with him. Embry and Jacob, and even most of the pack knew how I got whenever my mom was around. But Paul was still clueless about that. Sure I've warned him, told him to anticipate a different side of me he hasn't seen before, but there was nothing like seeing it firsthand. It would be a true reality-check for him.

So I was keeping my distance, going as far as limiting our communication even through text. I felt bad but I'd feel worse if I inadvertently directed my mercurial moods onto him.

Not that my mom and I were having trouble getting along. We were actually doing pretty good. It had been almost two weeks since she'd arrived and we haven't gotten in a fight once. But she was being too nice, too accepting, as if she were trying really hard to win me over. And I didn't know if I should feel guilty for making her think that I hated her, or if I should be suspicious because it all seemed too artificial. Which only made me feel even guiltier.

God, I hated this.

"Ok, now put these heels on." She orders handing me a strappy silvery pair.

"Mom, you do realize we're going to a bar in La Push and this outfit is way too fancy for that?"

Yup, we were finally going to Paul's Bar tonight. Jacob had persisted so much this past week that I finally gave in and agreed to go and take my mother with us.

I was incredibly excited in case you haven't been able to tell…

"Fancy, shmancy. I've always told you to wear what you want no matter the occasion."

Except this is not something I wanted to wear.

I resist with all my might not to say that out loud. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. We were doing good, again… too good, but that was beside the point.

"Right. So what are you wearing?"

"This dress!" She exclaims, holding out a flowery sleeveless dress with a semi-deep neckline.

Oh, mother...

"Oh, ok."

She narrows her eyes at me. "It's not that revealing, Bella."

"I didn't say it was." I try to defend, though we both know that's exactly what I'd been thinking.

"Uhuh." She says, looking away from me and taking her clothes off right in front of me, not bothering to go to her own bedroom to change.

I look away. "Want me to do your hair?"

"Yes!" She squeals, "you always do my hair so perfectly."

I go into my bathroom to get my blow dryer and round brush to add volume to her hair.

I come back, thankfully she's fully dressed now. She sits on the corner of my bed while I get to work. When I'm done she oohs and aahs over her hair, fluffing it with her hands.

"You know, I think you would've made a fantastic hairdresser!"

"Missed calling, I suppose."

She comes to me and cups my face, rubbing her thumb lovingly on the bottom of my cheek. "But you were meant for so much more."

I smile ruefully, "thanks."

She smiles brightly at me, blowing me an air kiss as walks out of my room hollering "Call the boys while I get my shoes and clutch!"

I holler back in the affirmative and do as she says. Jacob answers immediately and tells me he's already on his way.

I put my heels on and look at myself in the mirror one last time before I grab my new purse, another one of the many gifts my mother has given me since her arrival, and head out to the living room.

I unlock the front door and go to the kitchen and without thinking serve myself a glass of wine. I was a little bit stressed. Not sure why… If it was because I felt out of my comfort zone in this dress, because I was going to see Paul after what felt like a gazillion years, or because he was going to finally meet my mother.

Probably a combination of all three.

My brain comes back to reality after already drinking half of the glass and I realize what I'm actually doing.

Oh no.

I hated wine. What it represented. Growing up I drank a lot of wine, I'd get drunk as a skunk with my friends to escape the reality of my home life.

Now I know what you're thinking. Out of everything, why would a teenager choose wine? Why not tequila or even vodka, or beer? Well that was because it was the easiest thing to get my hands on. My friends from high-school had boozy mother's who's preferred drink of choice was- you guessed it- wine. I hated wine hangovers, they were absolutely dreadful. But I did it anyway, anything to forget about my troubles.

Before I have a chance to dump it in the sink, my mom comes back out of her room and joins me in the kitchen. I pour her a glass of wine too and we toast, making casual conversation as we wait for the guys.

Just as I'm putting the glasses into the sink to wash later, the front door swings open and in comes Jacob followed by Embry. They immediately see us in the kitchen and when I walk around the kitchen island to greet them, I swear they both trip on their own two feet.

"Holy hell." Jacob mutters, his jaw gaping wide open as his eyes take me in.

Embry isn't any better, though he is quicker at reeling it in.

I hear my mom giggle from somewhere behind me. "This is going to be so much fun!"

Jacob picks his jaw off the floor and greets us both, before long we're on the drive to La Push. I'm sitting in the back with Embry while Jacob drives, my mother in the front passenger seat talking his ear off.

I'm relieved from being the sole focus of her attention and I appreciate it more than anything at the moment. Better him than me.

"You're getting along." Embry discreetly whispers from beside me, his hand reaching for mine. "Right?"

"Yup, seems like it."

"Uh, oh."

I look away from the window to make eye contact. "Something feels off." I admit, biting my lip.

"What does?"

"We haven't fought since she got here."

He throws me a confused look. "Isn't that a good thing?"

"Yes… and no. I mean we haven't even fought about food choices... It feels more like she's agreeing with me on everything just to avoid conflict."

"But you're not fighting."

I humm and look away. He wasn't understanding me correctly and I didnt have the energy to explain to him in exactly what ways that was a problem. He was concerned, sure, but he didn't get it. I guess it was hard to explain as to why us not fighting was a bad sign. Why my mother, pretending to be something she wasn't, was a precursor to something bad. Like she was purposely trying to butter me up to drop the bomb on me later.

I knew it sounded crazy, but it felt all wrong.

"Well maybe she's too happy to finally see you again that she's going above and beyond to please you. Didn't you say she apologized and practically begged you to stay in her life?"

"Yeah…"

"So maybe that's what she's doing. Putting in the effort to get along with you because she loves you and wants a closer relationship with you."

"Right. She's just trying."

"Exactly." He says with a smile, squeezing my hand one last time before letting go.

Though I'm conceding, I don't completely agree, but I remain quiet for the rest of the drive trying not to think of anything at all. Instead I focus my eyes on the passing trees and winding roads leading to La Push.

When we finally arrive, I release a calming breath before taking Embry's hand as he helps me out of the car. My mom was going to officially meet my family from La Push for the very first time, even Paul. I was nervous and felt completely out of my comfort zone.

We walk in easily, right when Leah is walking by.

"Bella's mom!" She half exclaims, her eyes widening ever so slightly in my direction.

"Leah, you gorgeous girl! Pictures do not do you justice."

Leah forces a polite chuckle out of her throat. "Thank you! That's so sweet. It's nice to finally meet you in person!"

"I know. And I can't believe I'm here being included into Bella's world, she talks about La Push and all of you all the time. I should have visited a long time ago."

I lightly snort at that. Says the woman who ran out of here like her undies were lit on fire. Jacob squeezes my arm in warning. I bite the side of my cheek.

Reel it in, Bella.

"Is our table free?" Embry asks.

Leah opens her mouth to respond when another, much deeper voice, interrupts her.

"Of course it is." Paul says appearing out of thin air. He looks down at me, a friendly smile on his face. But I identify that heated look behind his eyes. "Hey, you didn't tell me you were coming…" then his eyes shift to my mother on my other side. "and with your mother. Hello, it's nice to meet you. I'm Paul." He greets extending his hand out to her.

My mom on the other completely ignores his hand and steps forward practically throwing herself into his chest.

His eyes widen at me and his arms stay open, confused as to what to do with them. He settles for giving her a light pat on her shoulders.

We all purse our lips trying not to laugh. My mom's face turns slightly back to look at me and mouths, ' Wow.'

I fight the giggle. I barely manage it.

When she finally pulls away she slips her arms through his turning him away from us to escort her deeper into the bar. "So the boys tell me you're the owner. I just cannot believe it. You are so young…"

She prattles on as they walk ahead of us. And I can't hold the laugh in any longer, luckily Jacob is there to cover my mouth with his hand and only puffs of air leave my nose.

We follow after them.

"... my goodness this place is amazing. So much better than when I was last here!"

We're standing right in front of our table now and I tilt my head at her in confusion. "You've been here before? When?"

"When I met your father."

I blink back at her, stunned into silence for a few seconds. "You met him here." I say pointing my finger down to the floor.

She laughs loudly. "Oh yes! I've never told you that before?"

"Uh… no."

"Oh… well I met him right there at that old jukebox." She says, pointing to the side of the mini dance floor. "I can't believe it's still here! Does it work?" Grasping into Paul's forearms as she asks.

I look up at him and find his eyes focused on me, but he looks away and down to my mother with an answer. "Yes, it does. I actually had it fixed. It didn't work when I initially bought the bar but it's a classic and I decided to renovate it, to keep a piece for authenticity."

"Oh." She says, her eyes looking away from him and towards the machine again. There's a wistful look there, as if she were reminiscing on the past.

Huh…

"You should play your favorite song when you get a chance." Paul tells her.

"Yeah… maybe." She says quietly. Then as if remembering who she is she exclaims, "Oh I'm so hungry! We're going to need some food before I get another drink in me. Bella will probably be fine but not me."

"You were drinking already?" Leah asks, looking at me.

"Uh, yeah."

"What did you drink?" Jacob asks suspiciously.

I instinctively look away, finding the sign for the restrooms suddenly very interesting.

"Wine."

They all remain silent. Paul looking from face to face in confusion, probably wondering what was so weird about me drinking wine.

Jacob slips his hand around my waist and pulls me to him, giving me a reassuring squeeze on my side before he guides me to a chair. "So let's start with appetizers." He announces to everyone.

"Oooo, what kind of appetizers?" My mom asks intrigued and completely unaware of the tension.

"I'll be right back with some menus." Leah blurts out, quickly walking away.

"Can we get a round of waters, Paul? You know what? I'll help." Embry mutters quickly, grabbing Paul and practically hauling him away from the table.

Jacob, the only brave one, stays behind. "Their onion rings are amazing. Bella loves them." He says, throwing his arm over my stiff shoulders.

"I do." I say quietly, making it sound almost like a question. Clearing my throat I look at my mom and more loudly say, "I think you'd like their wedged salad, Mom."

"Really? I love salads. You know me so well."

Leah comes back then and drops off the menus and quickly takes off again. Five minutes later she comes back and takes our food orders. And then to my surprise, the door opens and in walks… Charlie?

"Uh, what's my dad doing here?"

My mom's head swivels so fast I'm pretty sure I heard her neck crack.

Jacob coughs uncomfortably. "I invited him. Sorry, I guess I forgot to mention it."

My dad spots us almost immediately and starts heading in our direction.

My mom literally jumps out of her seat to greet him.

"Renee, you look… nice."

I swear she's blushing when she responds with a, "Thank you" tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

What was that?

After a long moment, my dad blinks and finally turns in my direction, his eyes looking down at me in my seat. "And what are you wearing, sweet innocent daughter of mine?"

Oh oh, he sounded angry.

My mom only laughs. "Oh Charlie, leave her alone. She's of age and I got her that dress. Doesn't she look lovely?"

I push my chair in further and press further into Jacob. Anything to hide from my dad's line of sight. Luckily my mom pulls him to sit next to her, stealing his attention away from me.

"I'm sorry, Charlie. We already ordered food. We didn't know you were coming."

"That's alright." He says easily.

"You want a beer, Charlie?" Jacob offers.

"Sure." He says, barely glancing in our direction as he responds.

"We'll be right back."

Jacob then hauls me out of my chair. My parents don't even notice while they're already engaged in conversation again. But instead of going up to the bar like Jacob had said, he guides me to the other direction towards the restrooms.

He stops just as we get out of their line of sight. He presses me against the wall and his hand goes to my cheek, his thumb calmly stroking my skin.

"What's going on?" He asks, looking very concerned for me.

"Nothing."

He frowns not believing me at all. "I know I haven't been around much, but you told us to stay away. Is this why?"

I lean my head back against the wall. "It's complicated."

"It's always complicated when your mom is involved. But you told Embry you weren't fighting."

Right, of course he heard that.

I frown, leaving my eyes closed. "I can't explain it."

"Have you talked to her?"

"Kind of. Not really."

"Not even when she apologized?"

I finally open my eyes, taking in the serious look on Jacob's face. "I would have but then you guys showed up, remember?"

"So you haven't tried talking to her about anything since she got here?!" He exclaims in bewilderment.

Sheepishly, I shake my head.

He releases a breath and then he presses his body into mine, his hand sliding to cradle the back of my head, tilting my face up to his. "Do you need some stress relief?"

I giggle. Out of everything I thought he would ask next… this had not been at the top of my list.

I definitely needed some stress relief… but not from him. I pictured another wolf in my mind for that. I open my mouth to respond with a 'No, thank you' when Jacob's eyes suddenly shift away from mine and to the side. He pulls away slightly.

"She okay?"

I almost want to shut my eyes again, wishing I could melt into the wall and disappear. Anything to pretend this was not happening right now, not when I hear that voice. Shit.

"Yeah. Just trying to loosen her up."

I gently push away from Jacob and head towards Paul. "All good here." I say, avoiding eye contact as I slip past him. "A shot of anything would be nice, though."

"Same." Jacob says from behind me.

I head straight for the bar, not bothering to check if they're following me or not. Jared spots me and serves up two tequila shots. And it's so damned sweet I can't resist slipping behind the bar and hugging his side.

"I love you."

"I love you too, sis." He answers back, kissing the top of my head.

A genuine smile finally appears on my face and I let go. "Can I help?" I offer, anything to escape spending time with both of my parents while they keep looking at each other in a way that makes me crawl-out-of-my-skin-uncomfortable.

He chuckles down at me grabbing the shots off the bar top and holding them in front of my face. "If you're still sober in an hour or so. Sure."

I groan in frustration. "But I don't want to hang out with my parents." I whine like a child.

"That's what the shots are for."

I pout and drink both. I don't even blink at the taste. "Refill."

"No way. Chief Swan would kill me if he saw."

I turn back in the direction of our table where my parents are still engrossed in deep conversation. My eyes narrow. "Not like he's paying any attention."

"Stop being a pouty child, Bella." Leah finally chimes in. I hadn't even noticed her presence. "Put your big girl panties on and go hang out with your parents."

"That sounds awful out loud… just as much as it feels inside."

"That sounded so emo." Kim chuckles.

"It's not a phase." I quip automatically.

She chortles. "Ok, little one." She consoles with a shake of her head, coming behind the bar to intertwine our fingers. "Let's go introduce me to your dear mother. I've never met her before."

Lucky you. I think to myself, luckily I don't say it out loud. Dammit that sounded mean.

"Paul, I'm taking my break early." She notifies him as we walk by.

"Take however long you want, we're not busy yet." He offers, his eyes never leaving my face.

I ignore it for the time being.

I let Kim drag me back to the table and I introduce her to my mother. She sits at the table with us and makes easy conversation.

What a gift. I'd give anything to have a real relationship with my mother. One where I didn't hold so many grudges and where my mother wasn't as self-centered as she was…

Kim stays for a long time, probably longer than an hour, until she realizes the bar is filling up.

"Oops, I have to go. Don't want boss man to yell at me for being lazy."

"Oh man, it's really busy. I'll help too."

"Bella, you don't work here." My mom says, confused as to why I'm offering.

"I know, but Paul's my friend and he probably needs help."

"Yeah, Bella always helps out whenever she can. You know how thoughtful your daughter is, it's one of the many reasons why we love her so much."

Kim was an absolute savior.

My mom's eyes soften and she smiles. "That she is."

"I'll be back as soon as I can." I say to my parents, trying not to run away from them as we turn to leave.

We reach the bar and I slip inside. "If I make out with your wife, purely out of sheer gratitude, how would you feel about that?"

She giggles and Jared growls.

"So possessive." I chastise with a laugh. "Anyway, I'm here to help."

He considers me for a brief second before he says, "Strictly beers and shots. Do not try to do anything extra."

I roll my eyes and nod.

"And not dressed in that! Your boobs'll pop out of that thing the minute you bend over. Go get one of Paul's extra shirts with the logos." He hands me his key to Paul's office and I nod and leave.

I know right where his office is and I unlock it before entering. I go straight for his closet and see the stack of t-shirts with the bar's logo piled just at the bottom. I pick a bigger size so I can tie a knot at the back.

Before I can even pull it on, the door swings opens and in comes Paul locking the door behind him.

"Oh hey, Jared promised I could help out at the bar. I needed a break from my parents and he told me to grab a–"

I gasp when he slips my dress off my shoulder, exposing my breast and attaching his mouth to my nipple in one swift motion.

"Oh fuck!" I want to grab at his hair but refrain from doing so, I couldn't mess it up. Not now. Shit.

His hand slips in between my legs sliding my thong to the side and his thumb is immediately on my clit, two of his long fingers sliding inside.

"Paul." I moan, throwing my head back.

"You're going to come on my hand and fast. We don't have much time."

Something slips from my hands but I barely notice, had I been holding something? I can't think with his hands on me like this.

His mouth makes a popping sound when he lets go of my nipple. "God that dress. I can see the outline of your nipples through this thing. Do you have any idea how much I wanted to push you up against the entrance and fuck you in front of everyone, even your mom?"

I moan and my legs clamp down on his hand.

He suddenly drops to his knees and lifts my dress up, just enough to look at what his fingers are doing to me.

"I'm salivating at the thought of eating this pussy, to lick that sweet honey you keep in between these to-die-for legs. I would if we weren't surrounded by most of pack. If they wouldn't smell your sweetness on my face."

"Paul." I groan, feeling the tight coiling starting in my lower belly. His words and his fingers working magic on me.

"Fuck, I'm so hard, imagining my cock inside of you instead of my fingers. How hard you'd grip me inside of you, milking me until I spurt every last ounce of me. Enough to then later watch it drip out of you, to trail it with my tongue up your thighs and then clean you up. You'd want that wouldn't you?"

He moans and the sound makes me want to open my eyes. When I do. I see the raw hunger in his expression, his eyes both wild and intense. It's like he can not only picture what he's saying in his mind but also see it through his eyes. Those green orbs watching every part of it. He curls his fingers forward against the spot that makes me explode.

I grab his hand on my stomach that's holding my dress up and moan.

"Come on my fingers, Bella." He groans, "God, baby, let me see that sweet pussy clenching my fingers. If I can't physically do it yet. Then let me see it." He begs, his breaths coming out hot and fast.

I feel it slightly against my pelvis and I shiver.

He notices immediately and smiles.

He leans closer, his face an inch from where I want him and then he blows against my wet sensitive flesh.

I let go and very loudly. I'm suddenly very thankful this room is soundproof.

His hand pumps until I'm spent and then slips out as he looks at my pussy, then at his soaked hand, and licks his lips.

"Fuck." He closes his eyes for a moment, let's out a long drawn out breath and shakes his head. He gets back on his feet and grabs my hand with his clean one.

I shakily follow him into the restroom. He wets a hand towel and drops to his knees again, cleaning me up quickly. Once he's done he washes his hands with soap to get rid of my scent on him.

"I'm coming over tonight. I'll text you when I'm on my way. Go out first and I'll catch up in a bit."

For just a split second I want to stand my ground and argue that he can't just tell me when he's coming over without asking me first, but I want him more. I want more of this. I want him in my bed, for him to rip this dress off of me and fuck me into oblivion. I feel slightly better with the small release he's given me now but I wanted so much more than this. I needed him more.

I couldn't imagine going home with my mom tonight and laying in bed alone. I wanted him with me. In fact, I almost wanted him to leave work early and leave with me so we could ditch my parents and everyone else. Of course, I'd never ask him to do that. We were still trying to hide what was going on between us and if we disappeared together they would all know.

So instead, I say nothing at all.

He guides me back into his office, picks up the t-shirt I dropped and Jared's keys. He slips the T-shirt over my head and hands me the keys. He stands in front of me for long pause, a pleased, satisfied on his face before he says, "Go on then", turning me away from him and patting my bottom to get a move on.

Dazed, I nod stupidly and follow his order to a T.

The next hour is a blur, somewhere around serving the eight beer I come back to myself and actually talk to the customers. Men hitting on me like I was the only hot bartender they've ever seen. All the guys were on my side, suddenly very interested in beer and whiskey, neat or on the rocks. My tip jar was overflowing again, Kim had passed by to empty it out twice.

Not gonna lie, I flirted too. It's fun. For the first time in the past week or so, I was actually having fun. I wasn't thinking about my mom, or the issues underlying our happy reunion. I knew one of these days I would have to broach the subject. I wasn't looking forward to it but as long as we kept ignoring the issues we had, we weren't going to be able to truly enjoy each other's company, or at least, I wouldnt be able to. I was pretty sure my mom could continue on with this charade and be happy. So I knew she wasn't going to bring it up herself, and so it would be up to me to start the difficult conversation.

I laugh at the flirtatious compliment some random guy shoots my way, now feeling completely in my element and excited to have something to do other than laying around and–

I stop and freeze, catching the weirdest sight in human existence as my dad and my mother stand to the side, right next to the jukebox, dancing, and not just dancing together. He's holding onto my mother tenderly, my dad looking down at her with a giant smile on his face, and my mother is biting her lip as she tries to control her giant smile too.

"Hey, are you okay?" A random voice calls.

"Is she having a stroke?"

"Maybe she's having an epileptic attack, my brother–"

" Bella!"

My body is quivering and I blink back to the present, realizing I'm shaking, only because Paul has gripped me by the shoulders and was literally shaking me back into reality.

"Fuck! You scared the shit out of m–."

I don't even respond, pulling out of his grasp and marching over to my parents.

What. The. Actual. Fuck?!

My mother sees me coming first and pulls away immediately, looking entirely too guilty. "Darling, your dad and I were reminiscing but I'm ready to go now. Thank you for the dance, Charlie."

My eyes switch to my dad's and he looks startled and confused at first, "Sure." But then his eyes switch to mine and his eyes crinkle, now realizing how mad I really look.

I'm not just mad. I'm fuming.

My mom grabs me by the arm and practically drags me out of the bar. As soon as the fresh air hits me in the face I'm no longer stunned and I savagely pull my arm out of her grasp.

" What the fuck was that?!"

She bites her lip. "What honey?"

"You know what." I say narrowing my eyes. " What are you doing?!"

"Nothing! Seriously, Bella, you're overreacting. We were just–"

"Just what? Dancing? You don't just do things mom."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asks indignantly, placing her hands on her hips.

"That I've seen you flirting with men before."

She rolls her eyes. "I was not flirting with Charlie. We were reminiscing, our favorite song came on the jukebox and we just danced. It was nothing."

But even as she says it so nonchalantly I know it's anything but. My mother purposely put that song on. Their favorite song didn't 'just happen' to come on. Not when it's her. She always does this, whenever my dad was around she always paid him all her attention especially when her boyfriend's weren't around or if she wasn't dating anyone at the time. It's happened in the past, those few times my father flew to Arizona to spend my birthday with me. He tried not to miss those. Or when my father had gone to watch me graduate from high school and then helped me move for college.

My mother knew my father has never been able to forget her. She knew she was his kryptonite and she exploited it, loving to have my dad's attention to boost her own self-confidence. I've seen it in action, and so I knew she was doing that now.

I've always let her be the center of attention, allowed her to flirt with random strangers because I knew she loved the attention. What I wouldn't do, however, was allow her to play with my father's feelings, to fuck with his head. Phil might not physically be here but he still existed in her life and there was no way I would allow her to drag my father into whatever twisted idea she's suddenly concocted in her mind.

My father was not just anyone.

He was kind, loving, and so very giving to those he loved. I would never let her take advantage of that.

Over my dead fucking body.

"Don't you dare do that to him!" I yell, pointing an accusing finger at her.

"Do wh–?"

"You know exactly what."

"Be–"

"No! Don't deny it. I know what you're doing. For fucks sake, I know you! What about Phil? Did you guys break up? Is that why you're here?!"

"Bella, no I–"

"Don't fuck with him." My voice comes out sharp, but slightly shaky now. "I've let you do this to me and I put up with it. But not to him." I say walking threateningly towards her now. " Not. To. Him!"

Her eyes widen but before I can reach her, she suddenly disappears, blocked by a large body.

"Hey." It says soothingly, cupping my face and forcing me to look up. My eyes are watery and I can barely see him. "You got a lot of tips."

I blink back the tears and frown up at Paul.

"The guys in there literally boo'd when you walked away. You left a riot in there."

I close my eyes and try to get myself together, but my head feels like it's going to explode.

"Count to ten." He whispers, his mouth suddenly right next to my ear. "And then I'll take you away."

I do it. Just for the sake of escape. Didn't I want to leave with him earlier but couldn't?

"There you go." He cajoles, breathing with me. When I release the last, heavy breath, he slides his hand down my arm to take a firm hold of my hand. "Now let's go, my truck is in the back."

"What about the bar?" I barely manage to whisper with my eyes still closed, trying to get my shit together.

"Fuck the bar." He announces. Then his face pulls away from mine and he stands up straight again, telling someone to get his keys and then I feel him hauling me with him. I open my eyes but look only straight ahead, fearing if I caught even the smallest sight of my mother I would turn back around and finish my unspoken threat. As we're walking there's familiar voices all around me, but I chose to ignore them, just trying to find my center and not let this explosive anger inside of me burst out.

"She can come home with us."

"No, I've got her. I'll call you if I need help."

"Are you sure? I think we should–"

" I got it."

"Paul!"

"Thanks." Paul says to someone else, ignoring the warning in the previous call of his name. "Take her mom home. The other customers can wait. Tell Jared I'm not coming back and to close up early if he wants to."

I hear a door open and feel Paul's hands lifting me off the ground.

There's a seat under me.

The truck starts.

There's a hand holding onto my thigh, a metaphorical anchor maintaining my sanity.

In my fogged up mind, I manage to whisper, "I'm overreacting, aren't I?"

There's a drawn out sigh next to me. "I honestly don't know."

Of course he doesn't, he doesn't know how fucked up my mother and I really are. How deep down it really goes. I frown. "Everyone else would have said yes."

"I'm not everyone else."

I blink at that and finally turn to look at him.

Lamp posts on the street, light up his face every time we pass under one. He's frowning into the road in front of him, looking supremely worried.

"I'm sorry."

His eyes flash to me and he frowns even deeper, and then he suddenly pulls off to the side of the road.

"Why are you sorry?"

"I lost my temper." I say matter-of-factly. "She just makes me so mad. I don't know what she's doing. What she's hiding from me. If she's having a midlife crisis and that's why she's suddenly here, hoping I'll fix her. I always do." I clarify, just because I know he has no idea of what I'm talking about. I want to explain it to him but I don't know how. "It's my job to fix her, but not when she involves Charlie. Not him. I draw the line there. He's off limits. I can't watch her do that to him again. They think I don't remember, that I was too young to have seen it. But I do, I swear I do. She broke him… I remember his face. He cried. It was the only time I've ever seen him cry. But she didn't care. He begged her to stay, told her not to take me, told her he couldn't live without us, that he couldn't bear the thought of not seeing us every day." This time when my eyes tear up, I let them fall. "I cried too. I clung to his leg. I told him not to let me go. That I didn't want to go anywhere without him. Renee tried to pull me off of him and I screamed. That's when my dad stopped crying. He cradled my face in his hands and told me it would be okay. That I was just going on a vacation and he couldn't come because he had to work. He promised I'd see him again soon... I didn't. I didn't see him again until a year later."

"Bella–"

"I hate her for that. And then I hated her more when she kept bringing men after men into our home, thinking she could replace my father with just anyone. And then I had to be there every fucking time they left. I had to be her support, to love her unconditionally when all she'd done was make my life miserable. As soon as I was old enough I would go out with my friends. I was never home, especially when she was dating someone new, and honestly she didn't care if I was… I don't think she noticed at all. She only cared if I was there to dry her tears at the end of the day because that's all I am to her. Her fucking therapist."

"Baby–"

"She's never been a real mother, never been what I needed. She's been selfish, always putting herself first every step of the way, and she's doing it again. Pretending that everything is okay between us to avoid speaking about our issues. It makes me angry, it makes me resent her even more. That even now she's choosing to ignore our issues to make it easier on her. If it were up to her, she'd leave Forks at the end of the summer and pretend as if we've never been happier." I pause for a moment and swallow hard, trying to swallow the lump of emotion stuck in my throat. "I'm trauma dumping. I shouldn't do that to you." I say closing my eyes and covering my face. "I just– I don't know wh– She just make me so–"

And suddenly I'm out of my seat and on top of his lap. Somewhere along my rant he'd pulled the seat back all the way so that I could fit in between him and the steering wheel.

He cups my face in between both of his hands and connects our eyes, making sure I'm with him when he speaks again. "I told you if you ever needed me I'd be there. I'm here and you can trauma dump on me all you want. You were there for me when I needed you the most and I'm here for you now."

I close my eyes and shake my head. "I hate crying."

"Me too."

A puff of air leaves my lips, a failed attempt at a chuckle. I feel his thumbs cleaning my tears and I leave my eyes closed. He presses his forehead to mine and we stay like that for a good while.

"Can you make me forget?" I finally whisper after some time.

"How?" He immediately asks, sounding like he'd do just about anything to make it happen and as quickly as possible.

I open my eyes and trap him in my gaze. "Fuck me."

A shaky breath rattles out of him. He closes his eyes, shakes his head and says, "That doesn't sound like a good idea."

I smile for the first time, remembering how I once said that to him before. At the very beginning of… this.

"Isn't it?"

He opens his eyes and smiles, immediate recognition in his gaze. He grips my hips and I feel him lifting me up to place me back in my seat, wordlessly rejecting me.

But I hold on to the back of his chair to keep me where I am. " Now."

He frowns. "What if someone–"

"I don't care." I say, going to his pants button. "God I don't care. I need you right now."

He shivers under me, still he tries to resist. "Baby, we're only a few blocks from my place. We'll be there in– Oh, fuck!" He groans when I dip my hands into his pants and pull him out, sliding my thong to the side and rubbing him on my already soaked slit and into me.

We both moan and his mouth instinctively reaches for mine but I place my fingers against his chin, keeping him there.

"Tell me how good I feel."

His breathtaking green eyes gaze up at me, so open and willing to give me anything I desire. "God, baby. Nothing in this fucking universe feels better than you."

A rocky breath leaves my lips.

"Every time I'm inside of you, it feels like the very first time. And I can't believe it's real, that you're real, that that beautiful pussy of yours is ready to take every last drop of me. Fuck, when you squeeze me–" He groans, his head dipping slightly down to bite down on my finger, my pussy instinctively clenches "just like that. It's fucking heaven. There's no place I'd rather be than in that perfect little pussy, so fucking sweet."

"Keep going." I practically beg.

"With what? My cock or my words?"

"Both."

He hums, his grip on my hips tightening. "Give me a taste."

"What?"

"I need a taste of you." He says breathlessly. "If I can't have your mouth then let me have something. Anything. Please."

"Paul–" I start to question, not really understanding his request, but then he grabs one of my hands and slips it in between us. My body shudders as he slips my hand into my wet folds. He lets go to grasp my hip again.

His eyes are heavy lidded as he gazes at me. "Show me what you taste like, don't let me forget, I feel like it's been too long since I've last tasted you and I need more."

Shakily I pull out my hand, glistening with my own essence and lift it to his face. He tilts his head toward my hand and he sticks his tongue out, waiting for me to give him a taste.

"How bad do you want it?" I ask, starting to feel in control again.

"Badly." He groans. "It's absolute torture to not have you on my tongue, on my face. All the fuck over me."

I groan and clench around him.

He groans too and tilts his face toward my hand just a little more. "Please."

I give in and give him what he wants. Sticking my middle fingers into his mouth, he moans as if it's the best thing he's ever tasted and his eyes roll to the back of his head. I feel his tongue on my fingers, his lips enveloping them into his warm mouth. My other glistening fingers splay on either side of his mouth, marking him with my own essence.

His grip on me tightens, his fingers digging into my skin and then we're going at an inhuman speed. I'm screaming, he's groaning. Mumbling my name over my fingers until he sucks my fingers dry and then he bites on the pad of my middle finger.

The sting ignites everything inside of me and I explode. My forehead going to his as he comes too, coating me in the same delicious way he always does. His breath all over my face. My fingers finally drift out of his mouth and I slide them down the front of his throat, feeling his Adam's apple bobbing as he takes a hard swallow. I leave my hand on the side of his neck to pull his lips to mine.

He comes more than willing, his lips opening for me and allowing me to taste him. I also taste myself, but it's very faint. I want nothing more than for him to clean me up with his tongue but we're in the car, still on the side of the road where anyone could easily spot us. Remembering that I pull away.

I felt better, so much better. My mind didn't feel like it was going around in endless circles anymore. I was more in control, more attuned to the present and in control of my emotions. And I had to thank Paul for that.

"Thank you."

He releases one of his sweet smiles and shakes his head in slight bewilderment. "It was my pleasure." He adds, a hint of naughtiness tainting his words.

I smile back and peck him on the lips one last time before I climb back on to my seat. "Let's go."

He grabs my hand after he tucks himself back into his pants and wordlessly merges back onto the road.