All characters from Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer. I own nothing except my version of events.

Chapter 21

I ignore his phone call for the fourth time today. Anxiously biting by nails and hoping against all hope that Paul would give up and stop torturing me with his unexpected groveling that had begun a mere two hours after our fight.

It all started when I'd broken the news that I wouldn't be able to see him this weekend as we'd planned. Leah had made plans to visit Julian over the weekend for a change but her initial plans had gone down the drain when Emily's mom had unexpectedly suffered a serious health scare just yesterday. Sam and the entire family had immediately packed up some clothes and left quickly to another reservation nearby where her mother resides. This resulted in the rest of the pack taking over Sam's normal pack duties, forcing Leah to take an extra patrol shift to help too. Which had also forced Leah to change her initial plans and as a result, mine too.

I'd been really disappointed. I missed spending my weekends with Paul, having breakfast together and lounging around, sans clothes. But I understood Leah couldn't go long without seeing her imprint and so I'd quickly accepted it and told Paul the change of plans. Unfortunately for me, Paul was still unaware of the real reason I continued to invite Julian over to my home.

The first couple of times Paul had been able to play it off coolly, or as much as he'd been physically able to. I'd been fully aware of just how unhappy he'd been over the fact, but he'd been able to keep himself in check . That all changed yesterday. He hadn't been able to control it as he had previously and lost any semblance of control he'd been clinging on to. It's the first time I'd ever seen him lose his temper around me, but more specifically, with me.

"It's just for the weekend, Paul." I try to pacify as calmly as possible, hoping the low tone of my voice would be enough to convey my honesty. "I promise you that when–"

"When he leaves I can have you next?"

My eyes sharpen, ignoring the following flair of unexplainable pain caused by his words. "That was uncalled for."

For a split second I catch the regret in his expression. It melts away just as quickly as it appeared. He doesn't apologize either. In fact, he doesn't say anything at all.

"It's really not like that." I try again, trying really hard not to let my own growing temper make the situation any worse.

"That you're just friends, much like we are?"

"Julian and I really are just friends, though. Yes we used to–"

Paul growls in warning, interrupting me before I can finish.

I try really hard not to roll my eyes at his current caveman-like behavior. He'd known when we started, whatever this is, that I was the furthest thing from a virgin. He couldn't pretend now as though my past did not exist just to spare his own feelings.

"You're blowing this out of proportion."

"Am I?"

"Yes! And it's not like it matters anyway."

His eyes narrow at my words. "What exactly does that mean?"

"That even if Julian and I were, it's really none of your business. I haven't promised you anything."

"No…" He pauses for a second, his jaw ticking in restraint "you haven't."

Good, this was progress. "So then why are you angry?"

"I'm not angry." He says through clenched teeth, closing his eyes as if trying to get himself together.

"Clearly." I mutter, folding my arms across my chest.

"So it wouldn't matter to you if I did the same."

I stiffen in response. An unexpected flare of anger and jealousy bursting inside of me. "Are you– threatening me?" I ask in utter disbelief.

"Is it? A threat?" He clarifies, his eyes inspecting me now. "Because if I remember correctly, you just claimed we were just friends."

I will myself to remain unmoved, keeping my expression clear. Pretending as though it didn't bother me for even a second. It's not like I could deny him that right if he did choose to do that.

I was aware he wasn't actively with anyone else, he had little time with running the bar himself and the little free time he did have, he spent sneaking off to see me. But that didn't mean he couldn't start now… and I couldn't exactly deny him that right either. We were not exclusive. We were not in a relationship. We were two friends who simply enjoyed each other's bodies. That's it.

"We are. And it isn't. Do what you want." I say as flippantly as possible. "And I'll do the same."

All an empty threat, but he didn't know that.

He growls and takes a step forward, his hands lifting up as if to physically shake me. But then he freezes, dropping his hands in the next instant.

For a moment we just stand there suspended in time, but instead of wanting to freeze the moment for it to last longer, it's like we both want the complete opposite. Actually, it's like we're both willing for this not to be happening at all.

I release a worn out sigh, deciding I should be the bigger person in this current situation. I was the one lying to him, after all.

I was the one keeping this giant secret from him. One that was not only keeping us apart but that he hated, and I did too. It was nothing I could control though. I'd promised Leah I'd keep her secret and I would never dare to betray her.

But it wasn't just because of my lies, it was also because Paul looked about ready to physically was visibly shaking now, trembling horribly by this point. His face was filled with so many emotions I couldn't even fathom to what extent. Big enough for me to become concerned over his state of mind and alarmed by his visible struggle with controlling his current emotions, which were far stronger than mine because of the wolf.

I couldn't let this conversation continue on. This wasn't how it was supposed to be between us.

"Paul–" I start, taking a step toward him.

"Don't." He growls. "Do not come near."

I flinch at his hurtful words, never imagining in my wildest dreams that he would ever reject me.

Abruptly he turns away from me as if just the sight of me will cause him to lose the little control he seems to be desperately clinging onto. "Just go, Bella. I don't want you here."

I was already tense with his first rejection, but with his words I turn to stone while my brain fervently grasps what Paul had just done.

I must've taken too long to do as he ordered, frozen in shock, that Paul makes a deeply unhappy noise.

"Fine." He says as if in aggravated frustration. "If you won't leave, I will."

He takes a step forward, as if testing he can. And before I can process the action, he magically blurs away from sight.

It's the last time I've seen of him, or spoken to. And though I hated ignoring his phone calls, hearing the numerous text messages and voicemails he's left me since practically pleading to talk. I just couldn't bring myself to.

Julian was here for the weekend already with me trying to entertain him as best as I could while Leah was unavailable. But even if he weren't, I would've taken me a long while to respond either way. Worried that if I tried to speak before I was ready to, I would only make the situation even worse between us. So really, even after Julian left this weekend I was pretty sure I still wouldn't be ready to face him yet. I needed time to cool off and to be honest so did he, even if he didn't think so.

And it wasn't that I enjoyed torturing him with my disregard. I felt terrible about it actually. But I didn't know what to say, let alone how to feel about the whole thing. His reaction to the situation had been too extreme. I didn't believe it warranted that kind of reaction out of him and I also wasn't about to encourage that kind of behavior either.

Paul has always been so understanding, so confident and in control, that seeing him that way, and because of me… It unsettled me in a way I never thought possible. For the first time in my life I felt unsure, like I was standing near quicksand. Feeling my feet slowly slipping into a whirlpool of sinking sand, dragging me down to its unbound depths.

It was an awful feeling.

And because in that moment I'd decided that being the bigger person, only to be rejected twice and basically abandoned without another word, honestly… hurt. I couldn't deny that Paul's rejection hadn't made some damage, because it had. That part had been unexpected but I still felt it and because I was confused as to how to respond to that kind of feeling, I chose to ignore it altogether. At least for the time being. I wouldn't allow his current apologies to mean anything to me yet while I still needed to figure out how to deal with those foreign emotions in the first place.

Hence the ignoring.

Though I was surprised Paul hadn't decided to show up in person after the third rejected phone call. But I was sure he was only being cautious now, deciding to give me my way by not coming over while Julian was here in an attempt to show his good faith.

"You okay?" Julian asks, breaking me out of my troubled thoughts.

"Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

He throws me a disbelieving look. "We're friends, Bella. I've seen you upset before. And you sure as hell look it now."

"It's nothing."

"It's not nothing. Come on, tell me." He persists.

I release a breath of resignation. Julian could be so convincing sometimes, especially when he asked so sincerely and with such blatant worry in his expression.

"Okay!" I say a bit too forcefully. I rein it in and more calmly say. "So there's this guy…"

"Uhuh." Julian hums, looking on coolly and completely unbothered.

"We've been hooking up. It kind of happened out of nowhere. I was helping him through a difficult time and we became close friends because of it. And then it just kind of happened. I don't even know how to explain it."

He nodded slowly and then arched a questioning brow at me. "Ok… So why are you upset?"

"Because he's upset. I told him you were going to spend the weekend here with me and because of our past, he didn't exactly take it well. And then he practically ran away from me." That was an understatement, but I couldn't exactly tell him Paul had almost wolfed out on me. Leah still wasn't ready to show Julian that side of herself yet and so I was forced to keep the secret with her.

"Did you tell him we're not– friends like that anymore? That Leah and I are dating now?"

"No. I mean, I did tell him there's nothing going on between us anymore, but I didn't think to tell him about Leah." Lie. I couldn't exactly tell Julian it hadn't been an option when Leah was still hiding their relationship from the pack. It would surely hurt his feelings. "But he didn't believe me. And honestly, I'm not even really sure why he's mad. It's not like we claimed we were going to be exclusive."

He hums softly, taking my answer into consideration. "Would you be angry if you found out he's been sleeping with someone else?"

I grind my teeth together. Just the thought of him with anyone else had me wanting to break something. My hands itched to grab the vase sitting on the side table next to the couch to chug it across the room.

Paul was fucking mine!

Shit… where the hell had that come from? There was no way I really felt that way. It was impossible. It was just the anger I felt at our argument that had me reacting that way. Surely.

I put in extreme effort to unclench my jaw to answer. "No, of course not."

He hums again, his eyes quietly analyzing me. He opens his mouth to say one thing, but then shakes his head as if changing his mind, to say another. "Look, if me being here is causing you so much trouble. Maybe I should just go."

"No!" I exclaim, grasping onto his arm. "Don't leave. Paul will just have to deal with it. He has no right to be angry."

"Bella, it's really not a pro–"

"No." I say more firmly this time. "You're staying and I won't hear any more of it. I'll talk to him after you leave."

"Are you s–?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Now come on, you're coming with me to meet my friends." I say instead, shifting the direction of our conversation because I seriously had enough of it.

"Which friends?" He asks curiously.

"My married, soon-to-be-parents friends."

"You have grown up friends?!" He playfully asks, throwing me a teasing smile.

I laugh beside myself, pushing away the dark cloud hovering over my head.

"They're our same age, you dork. They just got married young and started a family already. They apparently turned out a lot more mature than us two."

"Right. Not everyone our age spends their weekends playing beer pong and cups on the weekends…. or on a Tuesday."

"Not everyone likes that partying lifestyle." I agree with a chuckle. "So you're good like that?" I say, motioning to his clothes.

He was wearing baggy sweatpants and a black muscle tee. He shrugs carelessly.

"Because Leah is meeting us at the bar after she gets off work."

His eyes widen and he springs out of his seat looking flustered. "Shit!" He curses, ignoring me altogether as he heads into the guest bedroom next to mine.

I giggle as I watch him go.

My phone begins to ring again. I'm about to ignore it, yet again, when I see Jacob's face lighting up the screen this time.

"Hey." I answer immediately.

"What are you doing tonight?" He asks without a greeting. "Embry and I are going to the bar later. Wanna come and bring Julian?"

Bar? The same bar Paul owned?

I think not!

But how exactly was I supposed to get out of this one?!

"You know we'd love to but we already made plans."

"Where to?"

"We're going to Patrick's bar actually. Mike called me up and wanted to hang so I'm taking Julian with me."

He pauses for a second, and then, "Oh, well can Embry and I come too?"

"No!" I exclaim. Oh fuck, lower it a decibel or two Bella for fucks sake! "I mean, uh, it's just us four and Jess has been apparently going through these crazy pregnancy hormones. She needs a little pick me up."

"Okayyy. We've dealt with crazy pregnant women before. Remember when Emily kicked us out of her house for eating the last muffin she'd baked while she was pregnant with Athy? We've got plenty of experience."

I attempt a laugh, hopefully sounding as chill as I think I do in my head. "Right, yeah, but uh… Jess is really sensitive right now and I'd hate to make her feel any worse. You tend to take the stage most of the time whenever you're around."

There's silence over the line. I bite my nails as I wait for a reply. And since it's quiet, I can now hear movement in the background, a crashing of some sort. Was that Embry?

Before I can ask, Jacob begins talking again. "Bella," He starts, his voice sounding confused. "What's going on?"

Ah, crap. I couldn't have Jacob suspecting anything. Only just another complication. Fake it 'till you make it, Bella. "Going on? What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean." He says pointedly. "You've been hanging around Julian every weekend for the past few weeks and you've told Embry and I to keep our distance since then. Are you two back toge–?"

"No." I interrupt, though I'm not surprised by the question. Actually I expected he or Embry to have asked sooner. "There's nothing going on between us. We're just friends. I'd tell you if we were, I have no reason to deny it."

He stays quiet over the line again, probably deciding whether I'm speaking the truth or not.

I don't bother to wait to find out. "Listen, I gotta go. Maybe we can hang out later. Actually my dad invited Julian and I over for lunch tomorrow. You guys can come with us then if you'd like."

Silence again… is that another rustling in the background? Where the hell was he?

"You're taking him to meet your dad?" He asks in a shocked and incredulous voice, as if it were a crime to even think of it..

I scrunch my nose. "Why did you make it sound like that? It's not like he's going to ask for my hand in marriage." I say, now a little bit more than peeved at his questioning. "Look, either come or not. I don't really care at this point. I gotta go, I'll see you." I say, hanging up on him before he has a chance to respond.

"I assume Paul didn't take it well." Julian suddenly speaks having entered the room again without me noticing while sliding his arm into the sleeve of his leather jacket.

"That was actually Jacob. And I have no idea what is up with him. He sounded so weird over the phone."

"Huh." He says distractedly, patting his jeans pockets to make sure he's got everything he needs.

"Did you invite him tonight? Maybe that'd get him to chill the fuck out."

"Uh, I did but he said he was busy."

Another Lie.

Man I hated lying, and I've definitely done a lot of that recently. At this point, all I could hope for was that I remembered all the lie's I've dished out like candy since Leah's imprinting. She owed me big time after all of this was over. Keeping her secret was turning out to be a lot harder than I initially expected. But there was no way I would break that vow now. I'd take that secret to the grave if I had to.

"Ready?" I ask.

He nods and walks to the front door with me. He opens my car door like a gentleman and once I'm safely inside he moves onto his own side.

"So how's school been this week?" I ask, making casual conversation.

"Hectic as Summer classes tend to be."

"Right. I'm just glad I don't have to go through that this time around. Surprisingly my mom's visit has been pretty great. Another reason why I'm glad I took the summer off."

"You guys seem really close."

I chuckle in surprise. "Wow. I've never heard a real compliment concerning our relationship before."

He gives me a surprised look. "What do you mean?"

"We weren't very close before this summer. There was a whole lot of pretending and posturing for others, but my mom hasn't exactly been a particularly good role model growing up. Our relationship didn't get better until her visit to Forks this summer, but we've been working on it so I'm glad to hear it's apparently working."

"Ah, nothing like some parent/child bonding." He says with a laugh.

I nudge him with my arm. "Shut the fuck up. So tell me, you got any issues with your parental figures too?"

"Not exactly. But I am adopted."

"Really?" I say in surprise. "How has that not come up in conversation before?"

"Probably because our mouths were too busy doing other things to talk."

"Oh my god, Julian!" I say in shock but chuckling as I speak.

"Oh, come on." He says with his own laugh mixed in. "One of us had to bring it up."

"True." I agree with a nod and a shrug. "Not weird, right?"

"I mean, a little, not gonna lie. But… I really like Leah. And you seem okay with it so why not see where it goes?"

"I'm more than okay with it." I declare, just for clarity.

"So we're good. I just didn't want us to keep tip-toeing over the issue. It happened but it stopped months ago and so we should just move on."

"Agreed." I say with a smile.

"Now if only your new man could see that too."

"Ugh." I say with a scrunch of my nose. "Let's not talk about him tonight. Let's talk about Leah instead."

He laughs loudly. "I'm fine with that, unlike you, I'm not scared to talk about my feelings."

"You're such a dick."

His smile is wide when he responds. "Hey, just hitting you with some hard truth."

I park in the closest empty spot along the road and climb out.

Julian joins me and together we walk towards the bar.

He whistles as he takes his first look at the place. "Fancy, I suddenly feel severely underdressed."

I laugh. "Save some of that comedy for Leah. She should see that side of you too, you know."

He grimaces. "I know, but you know it takes me a while to loosen up. And she kiiind of intimidates me."

"More than I first did?" I ask with shock.

He looks at me from the corner of his eyes. "Yes, more than you."

I slip my arm through his as we start walking forward. "You shouldn't be. I know I might be breaking girl-code here, but Leah really likes you too. I mean she takes like a solid minute to respond while staring at you like you're god's gift to humanity. Tell me you've noticed." I say, turning my head to look at him and seeing a slow smile appearing on his face. "Trust me when I say, she's just as nervous as you are. She's never liked anyone like this before."

"Really?" He asks lowly, as if afraid to show he's incredibly interested in breaking the code that is Leah's thoughts.

I shake my arm wound around his, playfully shaking him in the process. "Of course! Come on! You're deliciously hot and sweet. It's a lethal combination for girls like us."

"Girls like you, huh?" He turns to face me before we enter the bar. "So is Paul like that too, then?"

The question catches me off guard for a longer than the question required. Because when I thought about it, yes… Paul was both sweet and ridiculously handsome. Huh…

"Bella!"

I turn at the call of my name. "Jess, my god you look beautiful!" I say, knowing better than to say, 'Damn girl, that belly looks huge!'

And she is, her belly now visibly protruding out of her body. Like she'd eaten more than five giant burritos for lunch.

She huffs as she walks, Mike remaining at her side and holding onto her hand to carefully guide her to us. The ground was very rocky around here, all dirt and pebbles 'lining' a path towards the door. I use the word lining very lightly because the path had no border and so all of the pebbles have been dispersed all around the property, no longer resembling any sort of path at all at this point.

"I hate being pregnant." She grumbles once she's close enough to speak at a normal volume. "I swear I grew two shoe sizes."

"That's… insane." I comment, hugging her once she's in front of me.

"Hey B." Mike greets, giving me a hug, then turning his attention to my companion. "You must be Julian."

"That I am." He says with a smile, extending his hand out for a handshake. "It's really nice to meet you both. And I think you look stunning." Directing that last part to Jess.

"Oh," She says with emotion. "I love him already."

"He's a sweet talker, alright."

Julian's cheeks heat up and I chuckle.

We head inside, grabbing a table and get our beers a few minutes later.

"I also really miss beer." Jess says, looking longingly at my already half empty beer mug.

I couldn't be blamed, I've had a rough almost two days.

"Add it to the long list of things I miss while being pregnant."

"Sweety, you're carrying precious cargo in there. Our little bean will love you all the more for your sacrifice."

"Damn Mikey, that was almost poetic."

He throws me a look.

"I know." Jess says with an indulgent smile. "He's gotten so good at making me feel less crappy than I really do."

"Our Mikey is growing up." I joke, pretending to tear up.

"How the hell do you deal with her?" Mike grumbles in response, "She's such an annoying friend."

I stick my tongue out at him. "You wound me."

Julian chuckles. "I have no idea, but I'm thankful she didn't like me enough to date me. Not that I'm available anymore."

A disbelieving look takes over Jess' feature. She was already aware of Leah and Julian's blooming relationship. I'd had to break it to her after she practically harassed me to admit Julian and I were officially dating. I figured it wouldn't be a problem to tell her when she wasn't actively involved with the pack to get her off my back.

"Seriously, out of everyone you could have fallen for… Leah?! Really?!"

"Jess." I reprimand, offended on my friends behalf.

"I'm half joking." She says honestly. "She's just a tough cookie that Leah. I'm sure there's a heart of gold hidden somewhere in there but I've yet to bear witness."

"Tell me." I start, "Did the doctor say you're carrying a human or a demon baby?"

She laughs. "At least half demon. Just ask Mikey."

Mike avoids eye contact, finding the light fixture above our table absolutely intriguing.

"More seriously," Jess starts again, "I'm glad for her. You look like a good guy who'll bring out the sweet side of her. Now I'm just waiting for the same thing to happen to Bella."

"Hey! I'm nice!" I declare offended.

"As nice as dry ice." Julian mutters next to me.

I turn to glare at him.

He chuckles at my expression. "You're not nice at first but you get better with time."

"Truth." Mike says, bumping Julian with a fist.

"Judas." I say, looking right at Mike.

He doesn't even flinch at the accusation.

"Well, hello there." Someone says, suddenly materializing out of thin air at Julian's side, the voice sounding overtly flirty and audacious. "What can I get you handsome?"

"Uh…"

We all chuckle at Julian's startled expression. Lauren had that effect on a lot of people.

"I thought Eric was serving us tonight?" I chime in.

Lauren looks annoyed by my wondering. "He's busy." Then she turns back to Julian plastering another flirty smile onto her face. "Our cheeseburgers are the best on the menu."

Still caught off guard he quickly agrees. "Sure, I'll take that."

"Excellent. I'll bring it right over." She leaves, swaying her hips from side to side in an all too exaggerated manner.

"Did she just forget to take your orders?" Julian asks, blinking at us in confusion.

"No, we always order the same thing. She knows what we want." Jess assures him.

"Oh ok."

"So Leah's coming later?"

"Yeah, right after work." I clarify.

"She works at Paul's bar, right?"

"Uhuh."

"So why didn't we go there instead?" She asks curiously.

Crap. More lies to tell. "Patrick's is closer to you guys. We didn't want you to go too far out of your way."

Jess pouts. "But I've been dying to see it."

"You'll see it another time." I say now, a little bit of a bite seeping into my response.

Her eyebrow arches. "Touchy, are we? And who exactly is the pregnant one here?"

I roll my eyes.

"Oh, Ohhhh… what's with that look?"

I refuse to respond, but when Julian notices this, he takes over.

"She's fighting with her boyfriend."

"Julian!" I call sharply. " He is not my boyfriend."

He doesn't even look bothered by my tone of voice, instead he purses his lips trying to contain a smile.

"I knew it!" Jess says in triumph.

"You don't know anything."

"Always in denial, Bella. At least when it comes to Paul. Why is that?" She asks curiously, her chin leaning on the palm of her hand, her index finger tapping her cheek in pretend thought.

"I'm not in denial about anything."

"She is, though." Julian butts in again.

"Will you shut up?!" I tell him, deciding to add a threat in order to silence him for good. "You want to walk home through the woods tonight?"

He lifts his hands up in surrender. Still, there's a small smile playing along his lips.

"Oh, Bella." Jess says softly, "You really do need to get over those commitment issues of yours."

And though she's annoying the living daylights out of me… I can't deny that she's right. I do have commitment issues.

"We're really using tonight to talk about that?" I ask, my mood completely plummeting from how it started earlier. "Because this suddenly feels like an intervention. And you guys don't even know each other."

"Doesn't mean we all don't care about you." Mike adds.

Lauren comes to save me from this torment, also thankfully holding our food orders.

She places them on the table while we all remain silent so she won't later spread what she's overheard around town. Before she leaves she turns to Julian one last time.

"Anything else I can get you, handsome?"

Before I can contain it, my suppressed anger decides it's time to be released.

"No." I answer for him. "He's already taken. Now be gone, you succubus!"

For a moment she looks positively outraged. Then she reins it in and leaves with a huff.

Silence takes over the table.

"Actually, I did need some ketchup." Julian mutters lowly after some time.

I look at him and then down to my own cheeseburger. "Aw crap, me too."