Hey fans! The next episode of Massacre and the XGI are still in the works, but I thought I'd try something a little different to get the gears turning. This is just a snapshot of life outside of XCW for the members of my roster and all the misadventures they go on. Some of these skits will contribute to the stories told in the ring, others are just for fun. Either way, I hope you enjoy this! I own absolutely nothing.

PS. RIP Michelle Trachtenberg (1985-2025), Gene Hackman (1930-2025) and George Lowe (1957-2025). This chapter is dedicated to their lives and legacies as actors.

This episode of XCW: All Access begins in Hollywood, California, where the usually bustling city was abuzz with gossip about the strike taken up by the IATSE union against the Academy of Motion Picture and Television Producers for fairer wages, a significant increase in residuals, and protections against AI. Legendary cartoon character, XCW wrestler and Strategist for the Knighthood of Assassins, Daffy Duck, was among the strikers finishing up a shift when our cameras caught up with him.

"Hey Daffy, where are you going for the rest of the day?" asked a cameraman.

"Ah, my public giving me the attention I deserve." admired Daffy, before looking into the camera. "I'm just heading back to the hotel for a night of rest and relaxation. May get myself a pedicure after some time in the sauna."

"Did Hotsuma pay for your flight to get here?" asked a second cameraman.

"Yeah, we never thought the Knighthood of Assassins was a pro-union organization." added another cameraman. "Because y'know, you guys are…..kinda evil."

"Now what makes you say that?" Daffy wondered.

"Well. . .your members' conduct toward Bugs Bunny since his initiation into the organization is. . .pretty cruel, to be honest."

"Listen, Jack, Sumie knows how to keep morale up amongst our organization." Daffy said. "And that's to give us the freedom to pursue our personal goals outside of the Knighthood and take up causes we personally believe in. In mine and Sweet Tooth's case, it's promoting our respective series and supporting the crew members that bring them to life! Now a lot of times, they've given me material that pigeonholes me as the comedy foil to that rabbit. . .and that's where our cruelty toward Bugs is what I as the Strategist consider justified, because he needs to learn what it's like on the losing side! What we're doing is teaching Bugs a lesson on taking your licks on his initiation into Knighthood, and we don't care how long it takes for him to become one of us. But the next time you see Bugsy in the ring, the fight he'll put up won't just be brutal….

…it'll be DETHPICABLE."

Daffy turned away from the paparazzi and strode toward the hotel, with one cameraman following him out of morbid curiosity. The Knighthood Strategist rode up the elevator, rolling his eyes before looking into the camera.

"TMZ doesn't pay you enough, do they?" Daffy asked, before the elevator opened. The Knighthood Strategist then stepped toward his hotel room and opened the door with his card key, revealing a disheveled, messy room but…two suitcases already packed?

"What the hell's all this?" Daffy wondered to himself before an underwear-clad Sweet Tooth (still in his mask) stepped out of the bathroom, to which Daffy responded with an immediate shielding of his eyes with his arm.

"EGAD, NEEDLES! PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" Daffy exclaimed, covering his eyes with his arm.

"Hey, Daffy! You got here just in time!" Sweet Tooth said.

"Why, what's going on?" Daffy wondered, while Sweet Tooth stepped toward his trademark polka dot pants and slipped them on.

"Hotsuma wants us on the road to the next town now." Sweet Tooth informed while clipping his suspenders onto his pants. "He's got three female talents from developmental he wants to initiate into the Knighthood the night before Massacre in some sort of ritual. We need to be there to sell exclusive shit. Wanna ride with me?"

"Uhhhhh…well, I….uhhhh…." stammered Daffy. The truth was that while the Knighthood Strategist enjoyed celebrating victories with his fellow Assassins and approaching them on messenger runs for Hotsuma, he was apprehensive of spending time with them outside of XCW, especially Sweet Tooth. He saw them as ne'er-do-wells way below his level of importance. Kinda selfish, ain't it?

"Well, the truth is I kinda got this thing tomorrow morning, and I'm meeting Mike Keaton for lunch after that to ask him about what it was really like on The Flash set and–" Daffy lied. . .

. . .but that didn't stop Sweet Tooth, who just put his arm around Daffy's shoulders and ushered him out of the room with all their luggage in his other hand.

"AWWW, COME ON! I INSIST!" Sweet Tooth asserted with a friendly inflection, to wide, foreboding eyes from Daffy.

"Uhhhhh…..okay!" Daffy responded with reluctant acceptance. "That's all that matters. . ."

"Besides, we don't spend a lot of quality time outside of XCW," Sweet Tooth noted, as the two stepped down the hotel hallway toward an elevator. "Scorpion and Sub-Zero have EVO matters, you've got your network, Hotsuma's brooding if he's not with Bayonetta, while Snake's either on a mission or hiding in a box somewhere. And it gets lonely on the open road, you know."

"Yeah–" Daffy nodded, only for Sweet Tooth to interrupt him.

"I get tired of hearing the same thoughts in my head over and over and over again . . . how I'm not good enough . . . and that I'll always be a backyard wrestler. And then I hear the voices of all the competitors I've fought over the years. . ." Sweet Tooth droned, as the elevator opened and the two Assassins stepped inside, meanwhile the Twisted Metal Mascot continued to ramble, while Daffy stood next to him in uncomfortable horror.

"All the people I've pissed off . . . everyone I've blown up in car battles . . . all their screaming and crying as they sprint away from their domiciles unable to extinguish the fire off their flesh–"

"Uh-huh," Daffy nodded, as he was starting to sweat, and the elevator door opened to take the two unlikely faction members into the lobby.

"-and then I hear all the voices of my victims . . ." continued Sweet Tooth, ". . .all their pleas for mercy and all their wails of anguish as I carved them and their loved ones up like Christmas turkeys, with no rhyme or reason other than the fact that it just made me feel alive . . . "

"No ham at Christmas? That's crazy." Daffy deadpanned, as the two had exited the hotel and were now making their way toward Sweet Tooth's ice cream truck with their luggage. The Twisted Metal Mascot unlocked the truck with his key while continuing to pontificate.

". . . it gets me thinking about why I do it, you know? Why are we all here and what our purpose is on this big blue rock floating around in the-–DON'T YOU DARE SIT SHOTGUN!"

Daffy froze in his tracks, eyes wide in fear at Sweet Tooth's sudden anger and subsequent hand pointing at him threateningly.

"You ride BITCH in my car. HAROLD rides shotgun." Sweet Tooth informed.

"Harold?" Daffy asked himself, before turning down to see an ominous paper bag full of . . .something disgusting, figured the Knighthood Strategist, before closing the door and opening one to the backseat. After Sweet Tooth loaded their luggage into the back of his truck, he sauntered into the driver's seat and slammed the door.

"Alright, let's get this show on the road!" Sweet Tooth said, fastening his seatbelt before starting the truck and pulling onto the open road.

"Yeah, let's. . ." Daffy agreed, before signing his chest with the cross and whispering the Lord's Prayer to himself as he and Sweet Tooth left the hotel.

(To be continued later in the chapter….)

Elsewhere, Claude Speed, Judge Dredd, The Mask, Jessica Wilson and Alexander DeLarge were in the hospital room of their Infamous Six team member, "The Goddess of Rock" Casey Lynch. She received a nasty, ruthless, horrific beating at the hands of Bloody Mary at Equal Pain, one that was so devastating she was hooked up to life support.

"What's the prognosis, Doctor Burton?" wondered Claude.

"Well, the good news is she's breathing on her own," said Dr. William Elijah Burton, MD. (A/N: a prize goes to whoever gets the joke within his name. XD) "And she hasn't been deprived of oxygen for long enough to receive brain damage."

". . .but. . .?" asked The Mask.

". . .we can't figure out why she's still unconscious," said Dr. Burton. "What head trauma she received wasn't severe enough to cause CTE or major brain damage. All we can do is keep running more tests."

"Oh God. . ." Jessica cried, her voice breaking with emotion as she fell to her best friend's bedside. ". . .Casey. . ."

Everyone looked on at the Goddess of Rock forlorn, with The Mask taking his hat off in dignity while Claude rested a hand on Jessica's shoulder for comfort.

"Please, Casey, you've GOTTA WAKE UP!" Jessica wailed. "YOU HAVE TO!"

The Jewel of EVO looked up in false hope at Casey, praying she would wake up. . .but she was still comatose in her hospital bed, saying and doing nothing as the hospital machinery regulating her bodily functions clicked and buzzed with an incessant loudness.

"Case….." Jessica said, between tearful sobs, ". . .please tell me you're in there….."

Jessica extended a hand toward Casey and brushed her bangs away from her closed eyes. It was a fruitless gesture to keep her comfortable, but it was all her best friend could do.

As it turns out, however, Casey's spirit WAS still alive, but only in the deep recesses of her subconscious. As the show zoomed past the skin of Casey's forehead, past the muscular system and the near-dented bones of her skull, all the way to a fantastical realm within her subconscious, Casey could be found falling down an infinite drop to who knows where, surrounded by floating and dancing musical notes, instruments, and vibrant psychedelia.

"Woah…..what the hell happened….how'd I get here?" Casey wondered to herself, until her pants suddenly inflated, slowing her fall as they sealed up around her ankles to form a circular shape around each of her legs.

"OKAY…..sooooo I'm not hungover…..." Casey confirmed to herself, as she continued to slowly but surely fall down this tunnel to nowhere, where she started to float past figments of broken furniture, with pieces of a rocking chair, shattered glass from a mirror, and remnants of a torn poster of Slash being the most recognizable debris surrounding herself.

"Ugh…..just when I think I know what I'm thinking….." Casey groaned, as the tunnel started to fall into more and more darkness.

"...am I time traveling….?"

Eventually, the Goddess of Rock found herself shrouded in shadow, which might as well be parts unknown.

"...am I feeling this right now?"

With that thought, a blinding white light inexplicably began shining from nothing right next to Casey's floating figure. She had to shield her face with an arm to let her eyes adjust to the weirdness happening before her.

"...or am I dreaming….?"

Casey lowered her arm to watch the strange light slowly morph into a floating doorway, which kept pace with her as she fell. Eyes wide in hypnotized curiosity, the Goddess of Rock swam through it. . .

. . .

. . .and found herself the size of a mouse in a GIANT room with textured white walls, and a checkerboard printed linoleum floor. She gandered at her surroundings and also saw a circular table in the center of the room, but she was too tiny to climb up its giant white ceramic legs. They appeared fifty stories high to the pea-sized girl. Casey scratched her chin in confusion as she continued to examine her surroundings, but then whipped around upon hearing a scuttle behind her. Casey's eyes followed the strange scurrying until she finally came to its source: a white rabbit standing on its hind legs running toward a door in the wall.

"Yep, I know what story I'm in…." Casey said to herself with a self-satisfied smirk before making a MAD dash after the white rabbit, sprinting with all the strength and stamina she had until she leapt toward the anthropomorphic rabbit–and successfully swept it off its feet!

"HA! You rabbits aren't as fast as they say you are!" Casey quipped. "Tell your very important date that you have a family emergency!"

"This WORLD has an emergency on its hands if you don't let me go!" cried the rabbit.

"Emergency? What do you mean?" Casey wondered, until she ate a back kick from the rabbit that caused him to break free from her grasp.

"OW! HEY!" Casey screamed, chasing after the rabbit, but it was too late. He had reached the door and opened it before shutting it RIGHT into Casey's face.

"FUCK!" Casey interjected, covering her nose after the impact. "You don't even have a song this time?"

"We don't want to get sued."

"Huh? Who said that?" Casey exclaimed, looking around for the voice's source.

"I did!"

With that, Casey looked down at the doorknob, and saw that it had a pair of eyes above its knob, with its keyhole serving as the mouth.

"Oooooof course…." Casey said to herself.

"Who are you and what do you want with Jeff?" asked the doorknob.

"Jeff?"

"The rabbit?" reminded the doorknob.

"That's not very creative for a stupid rab-–oh….Jefferson Airplane. Got it." Casey mumbled, before turning her attention back to the doorknob. "Look, I'm just trying to find my way through your world and stopping his 'emergency' from happening might be the way out. Can you please let me through?"

"Sorry, sister. I'm locked." admitted the doorknob.

"But you let Jeff through no problem!" Casey yelled.

"He had the password."

"Well, where can I GET the password?" Casey asked.

"Why don't you try that chest right there behind you?" suggested the doorknob, as a treasure chest inexplicably blipped into existence out of thin air at Casey's heels. The Goddess of Rock turned around. "Convenient. . ." she said, before lifting open its lid to see. . .a bottle of tea tagged with the words 'Drink Me'.

"Drink me?" Casey read, "THIS is the key?"

The doorknob nodded.

"Some key….." Casey commented, before chugging the entire bottle.

"Hmm….well, my throat feels better." Casey said aloud to herself, completely unaware that she was slowly but surely growing taller and taller. "I feel like I can play a show now, but that doesn't bring me any closer to getting out of….."

With that thought, Casey looked down. . .and saw that she was so tall, she could barely see the doorknob, and was inches away from her head hitting the ceiling!

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Casey screamed. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God….I don't wanna die! I DON'T WANNA DIE!"

The Goddess of Rock bent her head over so that her nape was against the ceiling, but her body nevertheless continued to grow until she had no more space to move. Casey felt so helpless, so anxious that all her bones were going to slowly bend and crack one by one until she was dead, that all she could do was cry huge tears that fell down her face and onto the floor, eventually flooding the room.

"PLEASE WAKE ME UP FROM THIS HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE!" Casey wailed, as the tears she wept formed an ocean that covered half her body, and swept away the single item that laid on the glass table before her: a metal instrument case tagged with the words, 'PLAY ME'.

With little time to spare and running on pure emotion as well as adrenaline, Casey opened the case and saw. . .a clarinet? She put the mouthpiece between her lips and blew into it, playing a random series of notes in desperation. . .

. . .and with that, the Goddess of Rock shrunk to microscopic size once more, and landed on the clarinet so she could ride it like a boat through the doorknob's keyhole.

"Thanks for the password, ASSHOLE!" Casey quipped, as she followed the tide of her tears through the keyhole to the other side of the door. . .

. . .

. . .and suddenly found herself swept forward onto the shore of a psychedelic beach, complete with molten clocks melting over cacti in the pink sun of the scene. Casey groaned at the impact of her front hitting sand before looking up and seeing a sandy trail leading into a forest.

"Well, at least I've stopped growing…." Casey said to herself, before looking to her left and noticing that the clarinet she was just riding like a boat had strangely shrunk to normal size.

". . .and I know how to entertain myself on the way," she added, putting the clarinet in the inside pocket of her jacket.

"Now to find that white rabbit, and learn exactly where the heck I am…" Casey declared, before slowly but surely pulling herself up and following the trail into who knows where.

(To be continued later in the chapter….)

In the Knighthood of Assassins' stronghold at the castle of Harrenhal in Westeros, Scorpion and Sub-Zero were dragging a beaten and beleaguered Bugs Bunny by the arms through its giant front doors, past the large throne room and down a spiral staircase into a nightmarish dungeon. It wasn't the first time the former Animation Icon was sent down here; Bugs was sentenced to a night in the dungeon one week earlier for costing himself and Daffy a match against Ren and Stimpy. But this time was different. THIS TIME, the XCW World Tag Team Champions were ushering him down to his resting with brute force and disdain, and Bugs looked so battered and exhausted from everything he had suffered since being forced to join the Knighthood, that he might as well have been catatonic in the Kombatant's possession. But nevertheless, it was back to the dungeon for Bugs, whose arms Scorpion and Sub-Zero locked into wall-mounted chains to keep him from finding a way out.

"See you in a week, BUGSY." Scorpion growled, slamming the dungeon door shut. "You'll be fed in the morning."

"Think about how you can make yourself useful." Sub-Zero seethed. "After all….you're here FOREVER."

The Kombatants left the scene, leaving Bugs chained to the wall next to a skeleton who had been chained in a spot for who knows how long.

"Eh…..what's up, Doc?" Bugs moaned, to silence from the skeleton. "….yeah, it's been a rough stretch for me, too. Can't even pull objects from behind my back anymore like I used to. That's what I get for saying I Quit to Daffy….lost powers and a lost soul."

Bugs sighed in sad reflection. "When I came back to fighting in these times….I didn't think keeping my spot woulda been this tough. In the eighty years I've been doing this, I never felt my age…until today. . ."

"It's time to end it, don't you think?"

Bugs pulled his head up in the direction of a strange voice….one identical to his own….

…

…and saw a blue specter of his former self standing right in front of him. But something felt off about this projection. Its teeth were sharper, its stature was taller, eyes more crazed and bloodshot. Its aura felt cold. . .ominous. . .monstrous. . .

"What's up, Doc?" asked his inner self, with a sinister inflection.

"The ceiling, the sky, a water leak that I hope really is water and nothin' else. . ." Bugs responded.

"You're one for jokes, even in dark times," seethed the specter.

"It's all I got left, Mac. . ." Bugs stated, in a tone tinged with melancholy.

"You haven't faced a situation like this before….how much LONGER can you keep this up?!" yelled the specter.

"For as long as I can." Bugs assured. "I'll always find a way, and even when I don't, everything always finds a way of working itself out."

"That's a way to live. . .by clinging to meaningless platitudes," said the specter. "There's NO WAY OUT OF THIS! You have NOTHING to FIGHT FOR! NOT EVEN YOUR SPOT! There's only one way out of the Knighthood. . .and that's–"

"-SHUT UP." interrupted Bugs.

"NO!" yelled the specter, growing taller, wider and more threatening as he bellowed, "I WILL NOT SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE IN THIS DAMN CELL! NEITHER SHOULD YOU!"

"...what do you want from me, Doc?" Bugs asked.

"I want it to END. Think about it. . .you're tired. You're broken. . .you're trapped here like a RAT. Wouldn't it be great to be free of all of this misery, old man?" implored the specter.

Bugs looked away from the specter for several beats before gandering back up at it. "I ain't old, Doc. . .Icons never age."

"No. . .but THEY did," warned the specter, who turned around and gestured toward something beyond the metal gate of his cell.

The room fell silent for a brief spell, until a faint moaning could be heard in the distance. Bugs pulled himself to a standing position and leaned forward to the best of his ability and saw an inexplicable moat of tar forming around the dungeon. A myriad of bubbles formed and popped on the surface of the black liquid as the pained moans from who knows what increased in volume. The former Animation Icon looked on in confusion, which slowly but surely turned to horror as an arm stuck out of the ooze, the palm of its drenched hand hitting the cobblestone floor with a slap. The rabbit-eared being staggered up to its knees. . .

. . .before LUNGING toward Bugs, only to be held back by the cage wall in front of him.

"BuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuUgS…" groaned the drowned rabbit, in a haggard female voice, using the cage to pull itself up.

Bugs backed up against the wall behind him, eyes wide in terror. "W-w-w-what do you WANT from me?!"

"...wHy dId yOu qUiT, bUuUuGs. . .?" croaked the female spirit, after which the former Animation Icon visibly broke upon recognizing whose voice it was that was speaking to him.

"LOLA?!"

At that realization, MANY MORE rabbit figures of various ages, shapes and sizes rose out of the tar and pressed themselves up against Bugs's cell, extending their emaciated, tar-drenched arms through the holes of the cage toward the poor prisoner, who had fallen into a seated fetal position on the stone floor.

"wHy dId yOu fAiL, bUuUuUuUuUuUuGs. . .?"

"wHy hAvE yOu fOrGotTeN uS?!"

"wHy hAvE yOu lEfT uS, dAd?!"

"yOu aBaNdOnEd yOuR fAmIlY!"

Bugs cowered in guilt and terror at the hundreds of rabbits psychologically tormenting him until tears formed in his eyes. He tried to look away from the visions haunting him, tried to tell himself they were only ghosts, tried to find the specter of himself that brought these to life. . .

. . .

. . .but the tall, blue dementor grinned a wide, sinister smile before shapeshifting into a new figure. . .that of his new leader, Hotsuma. But this vision of the Knighthood founder looked more ominous than he ever had before; next to a decaying zombie horse, he stood outside Bugs's cell, staring at him through his trademark four-eyed steel visor wearing a rusted chrome gauntlet with multiple colored gems on each knuckle. The horse next to him was huffing laboriously so that Bugs could observe a small flame fly out of its mouth. . .

. . .

. . .until Hotsuma sat on the horse's back and pulled it upward, so it could rise onto its back legs. Then with a terrible neigh, the horse unleashed a TORRENT of flames from its mouth that set the tar around Bugs's cell on fire, the inferno surrounding the entire cage from floor to ceiling. Amongst the blaze, Bugs could make out the faces of various icons from animation's past, all of them glaring at him with a solemn, pained expression.

"wHy dId yOu qUiT, bUuUuUuUuUuUuGs. . .?" moaned a moose.

". . .hElP uS. . ." cried a blind man.

". . .how could you. . .?" stated a spy. "You were the only one fighting against them. And now, they'll destroy EVERYTHING!"

"tHeY'lL bUrN tHe wOrLd aLl bEcAuSe yOu qUiT!" screamed the entire collective of Bugs's friends before they all merged together to form one single, giant, unrecognizable but monstrous face.

"YOU'VE FORGOTTEN YOUR PURPOSE!"

Bugs had fallen to his knees, eyes wide in awe and terror at this vision of his former allies bellowing at him like this.

"YOU'VE FORSAKEN US!

YOU'VE FORSAKEN OUR LEGACY!

YOU'VE FORSAKEN YOURSELF. . ."

And with that, the flames shifted into a spiral shape and twirled around on the other side of the cage until they vanished into thin air, and plunged Bugs' dungeon into darkness.

All the Animation Icon could do over this spat of mental self-destruction was openly sob to no one but the skeleton next to him, hang his head and direct his river of tears to the cell's stone floor. It was there in that moment Bugs realized the consequences of his predicament: he had fought so hard to keep his spot in this one-man war with the Knighthood, that he didn't think about the peers that wrestled with him and their respective legacies. And with Hotsuma promising to rule over the fiction wrestling world at large with his Assassins draped in gold, the legend status of his friends was the least of his worries…their lives were in considerable danger, as were the lives of everyone in the entire FWM. . .and there was nothing he could do about it, because it was all his fault.

Back on the road, Sweet Tooth was driving his trademark ice cream truck down a highway, banging his hand against the steering wheel to the tune of 'Absolutely (Story of a Girl)' by Nine Days, much to Daffy's chagrin. The truck already smells of dried blood and spilt milk, why must he be subject to such annoying aural torture like this terrible one-hit wonder and Sweet Tooth's insipid singing along to it?

"This iiiiiiis the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole wooooorld…." grumbled Sweet Tooth, "...and while she looked so sad and mowed the grass—"

"-it's 'photographs.'" Daffy informed.

Sweet Tooth tilted his head, his eyes still focused on the road.

"...what?"

Daffy faced Sweet Tooth, his head against his fist in boredom. "The song goes, 'And while she looked so sad in photographs."

At THAT deadpan exchange, Sweet Tooth turned around and pointed RIGHT at Daffy's face point blank with a menacing stature.

"THE LYRICS ARE WHAT I SAY THEY ARE!" bellowed Sweet Tooth, to wide, fearful eyes from the Knighthood Strategist, who stayed quiet for several beats. . .

. . .until Sweet Tooth suddenly laughed it off.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm just messing with ya!" Sweet Tooth insisted. "I flub that song all the time."

Daffy exhaled in relief. "Save that energy for Bugs. He needs the threats more than I do."

Sweet Tooth growled. "You're not kidding. He didn't even put up a fight this week or last."

"It's just growing pains." Daffy said. "He'll break sooner or later."

"And when he does….we're DRAPED IN GOLD, BABY!" Sweet Tooth exclaimed.

"What title are you going after, Kane?" Daffy wondered.

"Oh, the TV title, full stop."

"Really? I know a certain ninja who wouldn't like the sound o'that." Daffy warned.

"Ah, I love Hotsuma to death and wanna see him win at EoG, but he only has a 25 percent chance to win that Fatal Four Way." Sweet Tooth said. "Hardcore wrestling may be my bread and butter, but I joined this stable because I wanted to be a part of something that changes the game forever, and make something of myself on top of it. And to do that, I gotta break outta my niche, man. I'll fight with weapons when I have to, but the World TV title is the workhorse belt. I CAN BE that, and I WILL be that if given the chance."

"I'd be a moron if I didn't say I wanted the World title." Daffy informed. "I dunno why Hotsuma's hellbent on strapping the rocket to Bugsy and giving HIM all the glory at Ecstasy of Gold when it's MORE than clear he doesn't want it. It's almost as if Sumie wants ME to step up and win the battle royal. . ."

Sweet Tooth chuckled. "You make your sworn enemy quit, leave him rotting near-catatonic in a dungeon and you're STILL jealous of him. Better keep your obsessions in check, boy-o."

"Oh, don't worry ... I have ANOTHER idea for keeping him on my level…." Daffy seethed, rubbing his hands together in glee. "...Hotsuma just needs to let me run….amok, if you will."

"That's the way to be, my friend!" Sweet Tooth encouraged. "You know, the two of us are like peas in a pod."

"How's that?" Daffy wondered, raising an eyebrow.

"We both have mutual ambitions, we both love violence, and we're both unhinged in ways that complement each other!" Sweet Tooth answered. "You're the goofy kind of crazy, and I'm the crazy kind of goofy!"

"Wow, go figure." Daffy deadpanned, before letting out a sarcastic, "A-hyuck!" for emphasis.

"Yeah, Daffy, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful—" Sweet Tooth started to say. . .

. . .

. . .but then he trailed off, turning toward his back window to see. . .nothing? But he growled all the same.

"What's wrong, Kane?" Daffy asked, feigning interest while scrolling through Twitter on his phone.

"Thought I heard something. . ." Sweet Tooth admitted before turning his attention to his side mirror. . .

. . .and saw a small black dot in its reflection. Sweet Tooth paid it no mind, glancing out his windshield for a beat to see what's in front of him before looking back out the side view mirror to see that the black dot had not only grown in size, but also appeared to be. . .a Warhawk (from Twisted Metal: Black)?

"Aw shit. . ." Sweet Tooth growled.

"What is it?" Daffy wondered.

"Nothing. We're being followed. . ." Sweet Tooth said, nonchalant.

"Followed? By WHO?!" Daffy exclaimed, turning around to see that the Warhawk was flying ever closer to Sweet Tooth's ice cream truck.

"Just the fuzz." Sweet Tooth deadpanned.

"THE FUZZ?!" Daffy screamed, almost apoplectic. "What'd they do, flag you for speeding?"

"No. . ." Sweet Tooth said, ". . .I forgot to tell you, I'm a wanted fugitive in twelve states. The cops must have found my location via satellite or some shit."

"TWELVE STATES?!" Daffy yelled. "FOR WHAT?"

"Uh…..I'm a serial killer. What else?" Sweet Tooth shrugged, as the Warhawk continued to fly VERY low to the ground until it WHOOSHED past the ice cream truck to fly in its path and face the oncoming vehicle, with its missiles pointed RIGHT at Sweet Tooth and Daffy!

"You're in violation of Midtown City Code 4432. Step out of your vehicle and surrender peacefully," said the Warhawk's pilot over a PA system.

"The jig is up, Candy Kane." Daffy said. "Just get outta the car and make this EASY on us!"

Sweet Tooth said nothing, staring down the Warhawk with a menacing visage behind his mask.

"Did ya HEAR ME, JACK?!" Daffy exclaimed, to silence from Sweet Tooth.

"SWEET TOOTH—uhhhh…..

….

….you're not gonna make this easy, are you?"

"No. . .this is gonna be slow and painful. . .for THEM. . ." Sweet Tooth stated. "I've fought assholes like this before. . ."

After another beat, the PA system on the Warhawk audibly clicked on again.

"TIME'S UP!"

AND THAT'S WHEN THE WARHAWK SHOT A MISSILE DIRECTLY AT THE ICE CREAM TRUCK!

"HOLY FREAKIN' HELL!" Daffy cried, as Sweet Tooth floored the gas pedal and sped his truck toward but underneath the chopper at breakneck speed, and fired a missile that struck the chopper's undercarriage!

"Hey, Daff….can you do me a favor?" Sweet Tooth asked.

"WHAT MIGHT THAT BE, BROTHER?" Daffy strained, cartoonishly stuck to the dirty leather seat behind him.

"Can you man this minigun for me?" Sweet Tooth added, before pushing a button on the truck's console.

"Wha—" was all Daffy could get out. . .

. . .

. . .BEFORE HIS AND SWEET TOOTH'S RESPECTIVE SEATS BEGAN TO SHIFT?!

"OHHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" Daffy screamed, as the mechanism of Sweet Tooth's ice cream truck continued to morph and seemingly grow taller and taller in stature. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL IT HAD FINISHED TRANSFORMING INTO A LARGE ROBOTIC MECHA CLOWN!

"Oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh yeah….." Sweet Tooth growled, gripping the steering wheel in front of him with both hands with excitement. "NOW we're ready for a FIGHT!"

Meanwhile, Daffy was in his seat with ALL of his limbs trembling and his eyes large with fear as he sat at a minigun turret that was set in the arm of Sweet Tooth's vehicle mecha.

"Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name…." Daffy prayed to himself, as the chorus for "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" by Nine Days continued to play on Sweet Tooth's radio, and the Twisted Metal Mascot piloting this monstrous mecha was singing along to it with gravelly glee while unlocking and opening SEVERAL weapons terminals, from MANY missile launchers and mega guns to oil cans and even a sniper rifle.

Well, your clothes never wear as well the next day

And your hair never falls in quite the same way

You never seem to run out of things to SAAAAAAAAAY!

"SING IT WITH ME, DAFFY!" Sweet Tooth screamed, pointing at his fellow Assassin while taking a post at his homing missile set up.

"THIS IIIIIIIIIS…THE STORY OF A GIRL

WHO CRIED A RIVER AND—"

Sweet Tooth air conducted in Daffy's direction until The Knighthood Strategist shrieked along with the song in apoplectic terror.

"-AND DROWNED THE WHOLE WOOOOORLD!

AND WHILE SHE LOOKS SO SAD IN PHOTOGRAPHS

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER—"

With satisfaction, Sweet Tooth turned back out the windshield to see the Warhawk aiming another missile at his menacing mecha, and SMASHED his special button while singing,

"-WHEN SHE SMIIIIIIIIIIIIIILES!"

AND THAT'S WHEN SWEET TOOTH BACKED UP HIS MECHA…

…TO CREATE SPACE FOR A MULTITUDE OF MISSILES TO FLY FROM IT AND INTO THE WARHAWK!

"DAFFY! This stupid Warhawk forgot to put its shield up!" Sweet Tooth observed. "Open fire on it with your machine gun!"

"WHAT?!" Daffy spat.

Sweet Tooth rolled his eyes. "Make the copter go boom-boom with your pew-pew!"

"I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS, KANE!" Daffy screamed bloody murder, to a grumble from Sweet Tooth. . .

. . .

. . .who instead FLOORED THE GAS PEDAL. . .

. . .

. . .AND SPED HIS MECHA TOWARD THE WARHAWK!

"DO IT, DAFFY! OR ELSE WE'RE BOTH GOING TO DIE!" Sweet Tooth bellowed, to terrified wailing from Daffy, who finally pulled and held the trigger to his machine gun down to shoot a barrage of bullets at the Warhawk!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Daffy, who closed his eyes in fear while Sweet Tooth cackled with laughter and excitement.

"I'M HAVING FUN, TOO!" Sweet Tooth yelled, before pressing the 'Gas Can' button at his console to launch a giant can of fuel at the Warhawk. . .

. . .

. . .CAUSING IT TO ERUPT IN A FIERY EXPLOSION!

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Sweet Tooth cheered. "Isn't this great, Daffy? Just the two of us Assassins bonding like brothers?"

Sweet Tooth turned toward his unwitting passenger, and saw that he was STILL firing his machine gun, only at nothing but the sky."

"DAFFY?!" Sweet Tooth roared, before getting out of his seat and broke the Knighthood Strategist's grip on his machine gun. "Take it easy, man! You don't wanna waste bullets!"

"THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE CONCERNED ABOUT?!" Daffy spat, "WHAT ABOUT MY SAFETY AND WELL-BEING?!"

"Well….yeah, you need ammo to protect those, too." Sweet Tooth shrugged, before turning in the direction of. . .

. . .

. . .the sound of a LOUDER helicopter?

"Uh-oh…." Sweet Tooth foreboded, making his way back to his main console.

"NOW WHAT?" Daffy overdramatically cried.

"Looks like that Warhawk had friends…..and they're comin' RIGHT for us. . ." Sweet Tooth warned, as he saw not one. . .

. . .

. . .BUT TWO MORE WARHAWKS HEADED IN THEIR DIRECTION!

"Alright, we're gonna have to improvise. Daffy, you fend 'em off with your machine gun while I get us outta here." Sweet Tooth casually ordered. "You can watch our 6, right?"

"Mother…" was all Daffy could say before the show transitioned to another character…

…..who just so happened to be "The Goddess of Rock" Casey Lynch. She was continuing to peruse the forest around her, trying to make sense of how and why the trees grew the way they did until she heard a familiar synth line in the distance. Her eyes widened in excitement over the iconic sound and she strode toward it, eager to learn where it was coming from.

Sure enough, the music was coming from behind a Studio 54 nightclub, and as Casey made her way toward the venue's patio, she recognized the instrumentation of this particular song being from "1999" by Prince. . .but the lyrics were from another song entirely, at least for a bit. They almost sounded like they were from "Let's Dance" by David Bowie. . .but then the song quickly switched back over to the words of "1999"?

"Righteous. . ." Casey said to herself, before venturing against the venue's walls and peeking around the corner to see a VERY long and mahogany dinner table covered by a white, upscale tablecloth littered with empty liquor bottles, beer cans and drinking glasses of many shapes and sizes. But what starstruck the Goddess of Rock the hardest were the two figures at the far end of this lavish surface. . .

. . .as they turned out to be ZIGGY STARDUST and THE KID, who were performing a mashup entitled, "Let's Dance Like It's 1999" in a duet!

Casey's eyes were wide in disbelief; these two figures were important to her upbringing! She couldn't count how many nights she spent laying on her bedroom floor listening to the Purple Rain soundtrack and Aladdin Sane on continuous loops during her adolescence. They helped shape her taste in music and even her approach to playing guitar today. But Ziggy and The Kid passed away from cancer and an accidental overdose respectively in 2016. How did they end up here. . .wherever she was? It was time to get an answer to that question and more. At least, after they finish playing this song, Casey thought to herself. This rocks SO hard.

As the Goddess of Rock did a happy dance to herself into the chair furthest away from Ziggy and The Kid, her two idols continued to rehearse their mashup to the tune of 1999 until the end of the song. Upon which, Ziggy and The Kid glanced up at each other from their guitars grinning with inner pride, but their reverie was broken by the sound of one person applauding in their distance. . .

. . .that, of course, came from the overeager Goddess of Rock, who didn't even care at this point she had blown her cover.

"OH MY GOD THAT WAS AMAZING!" Casey exclaimed, pulling herself onto the patio. "I never thought I'd live to see you two perform in my life! In fact, I might not even BE alive; have I died and gone to heaven? Is that where we are?"

"You're in BIG trouble if you don't get out of that chair, my child." Ziggy warned.

"There's no room in our Refectory of Rehearsal!" The Kid declared.

Casey looked around at all the empty chairs around the table in confusion. "Uhhhh…it sure looks like there's plenty of room to me!"

"Even if there is, you weren't invited to our rehearsal dinner." Ziggy said. "We have an important show to play later tonight, and what you've done is not only RUDE, it's also throwing off our collective chi! Our universes and the stars above us behind the bright blue sky are out of alignment, darling. . ."

Casey scoffed. "No wonder they say 'never meet your heroes'."

Ziggy blinked twice, turning toward his admirer with a raised eyebrow. "What did you say?"

"I-I-I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude. It's just that. . .well. . ." Casey stammered and stuttered, rising up from her seat in nervousness, before she finally fell to her knees and worshiped the ground on which Ziggy and Kid stood.

"YOU TWO ARE MY IDOLS! I'M NOT WORTHY! I'M NOT WORTHY! I'M NOT WORTHY! YOU ARE GODS TO ME! YOU GOT ME INTO MUSIC AND CHANGED MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER! THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH AND PURPLE RAIN ARE MASTERPIECES!"

Ziggy and Kid looked up at each other before gandering back down in humility at their groveling fangirl.

"I EVEN SAT THROUGH UNDER THE CHERRY MOON FOR YOU, PRINCE!" Casey continued. "PLEASE DON'T SHOO ME AWAY, GUYS! I LOVE YOUR WORK AND I LOVE YOUR SINGING AND I LOVE YOU BOTH TO DEEEEEAAAAAAATH!"

"So….you're an admirer of ours, aren't you?" asked Ziggy.

"I own ALL your albums in every format I can!" Casey said. "Cassettes, CDs, digitally, vinyl, I even got them formatted for 8-TRACK! Music is my life and you two are my KINGS!"

"Well, little peasant girl, we like your dedication to us." grinned The Kid. "We'll let you hang out with us. . .on one condition."

"What's that?" Casey wondered, rising up with an excited smile.

"You gotta pass initiation," informed The Kid.

"Alright…..what do I have to do?" asked the Goddess of Rock.

"Well, for starters….." said The Kid, "...you have to purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka."

Casey laughed. "Yeah, I'm not falling for that one. Because I KNOW that purple river behind us is NOT Lake Minnetonka. In fact. . .I don't even know where I am! Can you tell me what this place is?"

"It's quite simple," Ziggy Stardust remarked, "...you are Here."

Casey blinked twice. "W-where?"

"Here." Ziggy said, "The energy form that surrounds us invisibly keeps us alive, and to be alive is to be Here. Do you understand?"

"Ummmm…..no?" Casey admitted.

"Maybe a libation or three will help. Come with us to the head of the table and we'll wax philosophically." Ziggy invited, warmly.

"Are–you serious?" Casey asked. "YES! Thank you!"

Holy shit, Casey thought to herself as Ziggy and The Kid led her to the far end of their table. I'm having drinks with David Bowie and Prince! Heaven is awesome!

Casey took her place at a large plush red chair at the head of the table, as Ziggy and Kid flanked her on seats at her sides, with the latter popping the top off a glass bottle of purple liquor and pouring the violet liquid into Casey's wine glass, followed by Ziggy's and his own.

"Purple bubbly por vous, mon cherie?" asked The Kid.

"Merci…" Casey thanked, sipping her beverage. "So Ziggy, tell me….what is it to be Here?"

Ziggy sipped his drink before leaning forward.

"It's quite simple, really. . .to be Here is to know that you are your own God." Ziggy informed. "You see, at the turn of the twentieth century, Friedrich Nietzsche proclaimed that god was dead and that man had killed him. This created an arrogance within man that he himself was god–"

Suddenly realizing he had finished his drink, The Kid shot up to his feet and abruptly pulled Casey upwards, with Ziggy following them.

"Clean glass?" Ziggy queried.

"You know it!" said The Kid. "CHANGE PLACES!"

"CHANGE PLACES!" screamed Ziggy.

With that, Ziggy took Casey's right hand and pulled her like a rag doll down the table, with The Kid taking her other arm.

"WOAH! WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK?!" was all Casey could exclaim until Ziggy and The Kid sat her down in a lesser chair, before the two musicians sat down next to her in new seats and continued their conversation as if nothing had happened.

"Now, as I was saying, as god, all man could seem to produce was a metaphorical disaster. That led to a terrifying confusion: for if we could not take the place of a theoretical god, how could we fill the space we had created within ourselves? But the confusion is easily resolved by the awareness that there is no such thing as nothingness, no place where there is not being of some sort, no void, no absolute emptiness, no "is-not"-"

With that, Ziggy took a big swig of his martini, emptying his glass. "Oh my goodness! CLEAN GLASS!"

"CHANGE PLACES!" yelled The Kid.

"CHAAAAAAANGE PLACES!" exclaimed Ziggy, who gripped Casey's right hand and pulled her further down the table, with The Kid taking her other arm and following his partner.

The Goddess of Rock winced in pain from the sudden action in which she was thrust until Ziggy and The Kid plopped her down in a folding chair, to which she reacted with a pained grimace.

"Anyway, the point is. . .there is a force all around us that connects you to me, me to you, to my past selves, to your past selves, and to our future selves because it's a biological fact that the past, present and future all take place on top of each other simultaneously. All you do is change from one form of existence to another throughout all the millennia until the universe explodes into the next one, and the entire cycle of life begins anew."

"So. . .my soul has been constantly moving from vessel to vessel since the beginning of time and will continue to until I become a God?" Casey wondered in fascination before taking a sip of her cocktail, to a nod from Ziggy.

"Precisely."

"My God. . .this is too much to take in. . ." Casey ran her hands through her hair as a coping reflex. "Kid, do you believe in all this, too?"

"Nah, that's too hippy dippy psychedelly for me," said The Kid. "As far as I'm concerned, life is just a party. . .and parties aren't meant to last."

"Neither are wrestling matches. . .I should know, I died in one." Casey informed, before taking a generous sip of her drink. "But I won't be mad if THIS is Heaven."

"Who knows, my friend?" Ziggy said. "Perhaps Heaven. . .exists inside you."

"What?" was all Casey could say until a relentless thump-thump-thumping came from behind the partying trio. The three musicians turned in its direction. . .

. . .and saw Jeff the White Rabbit hopping onto their table!

"OUT OF THE WAY! I'M LATE FOR A VERY IMPORTANT DATE!" screamed the rabbit, not caring that he was pulling up the tablecloth with every hop, and knocking over all the table's china, fancy glasses and silverware.

"THE HELL?!" Casey exclaimed, "I forgot all about you!"

The Goddess Of Rock rose from her chair and grabbed The Kid's iconic purple guitar up by the neck before chasing Jeff down the table, to an aghast look of horror from her violet-clad idol.

"HEY! PUT THAT DOWN!" The Kid screamed, before chasing after Casey, to a shrug from Ziggy Stardust.

"Well, this took a turn for the mad now, didn't it?" Ziggy asked you (yes, you, the reader), before taking his leave and following The Kid in his chase for Casey and the white rabbit. The band of musicians continued their trek through the adjacent forest, running after Jeff as he was scampering toward a white light at the end of their path.

"Where the hell are you going?" Casey exclaimed, as the way out of the forest came ever closer. . .

. . .

. . .until Casey, The Kid, Ziggy and Jeff exploded out of the clearing to find themselves in the front courtyard of a massive castle, where the sky was blue without a cloud in the sky, white roses were blooming in the bushes, and—humanoid figures carrying buckets. . .?

"God . . . is that sun blinding or is the nine of Jacks painting the roses red?" Casey wondered, shielding her eyes from the sun to see better. . .and once her vision adjusted, she could confirm her eyes were not deceiving her, as a humanoid playing card had dipped a paint brush into his bucket of paint and was painting the white roses red!

"Righteous!" Casey exclaimed with a grin.

"Remarkable. . ." interjected Ziggy.

"Eh, they'd be better if they were purple," quipped The Kid.

"Oh! Oh no…..the Queen won't like this….." Jeff foreboded, while scurrying in the direction of the castle, unbeknownst to Casey and the mystic musicians flanking her, as they were still amazed by the bizarre artistry before them.

"Perhaps we can ask them for a purple one?" Casey suggested, as she bravely stepped toward the playing cards.

"Lemme guess, you forgot to plant the red ones?" inquired the Goddess of Rock.

"SHHHH!" shushed the 3 of Clubs. "Yeah, we did. . .but don't say that so loud! The Queen will hear us!"

"Too late. . ." observed the 2 of Spades, who pointed in the direction behind him at Jeff The Rabbit, who was now wearing a messenger's uniform and holding a trumpet underneath the entrance to the castle garden.

"Ohhhhhhhh…." moaned the 1 of Clubs in distress before he and the other playing cards fell down into a position of worship upon hearing Jeff play a royal tune on his trumpet. Casey looked around in utter confusion, which turned to befuddlement after she turned around to see that both Ziggy and The Kid had disappeared from where they came from!

"Figures. . ." Casey snarked, before falling onto her chest a la the playing cards around her.

"Presenting!" Jeff exclaimed, "Her Imperial Highness. . .Her Grace. . .Her Excellency. . .Her Royal Majesty. . .THE QUEEN OF HEARTS!"

With that announcement, two long rows of playing cards rolled down the walkway and all unfurled into a standing position one after the other, each of them playing a brass and drumline rendition of a song entitled, 'Anti-Hero' . . .

. . . and the familiarity of that catchy tune caused Casey to peek up from the ground to see no one other than TAYLOR SWIFT in the iconic Queen of Hearts dress.

"….just when I thought it couldn't get any worse…" Casey thought to herself before pressing her head back down to the ground in feigned worship, just in time for the Queen of Hearts to swipe a finger against a rose dripping with red paint, scowling at the liquid running down her appendage onto her palm.

"….who's been painting my roses red?" The Queen of Hearts wondered, to no answer. The five seconds of silence from Casey and the cards around her only shattered the Queen's resolve.

"WHO'S BEEN PAINTING MY ROSES RED?" Shouted The Queen of Hearts, before a giant bearded man wearing a golden crown inexplicably popped out from behind the royal pop star.

"ANSWER TO THE QUEEN OR YOU ANSWER TO MEEEEEEEEE!" bellowed the King, who pulled the tree of roses out by the roots and was shaking all the paint off the white roses violently until he felt his Queen's hand on his shoulder.

"Thank you, King Travis," acknowledged the Queen of Hearts. As King Travis Kelce tried to stick the tree back in the hole where it once stood, the Queen of Hearts paced the ground, menacingly scowling at the cards worshipping her feet, until she caught notice of the girl in tattoos amongst them.

"Hmph….one of these things is not like the other," the Queen said to herself. "CLUB ONE!"

The One of Clubs rolled up to his feet and saluted his Queen, while sweating profusely with severe anxiety written on his face.

"Yes, your Majesty?"

"Did you. . .allow. . .this OUTSIDER into your grounds crew?"

"N-n-n-no, your Majesty!" The One of Clubs stuttered. "I-I-I-it was HER idea to paint the roses red! Her arrival distracted us!"

"What the FUCK, man?" mouthed Casey, aghast at the playing card's lie.

"Can the rest of you attest to this?" wondered the Queen, scanning the rest of the playing cards, who all rolled up to a standing position and nodded.

"Yes, ma'am!"

"Oh yeah, it was her fault!"

"She brought the white ones, that's for true!"

The Queen of Hearts slowly nodded in understanding. "I thank you for your confession. BUT….you STILL held the brushes and used them to paint my roses red REGARDLESSLY. For acting against my instructions, I sentence you to EXECUTION!"

"WHAT?" cried the One of Clubs, his face dripping with tears while he fell to his knees groveling, along with the rest of his fellow playing cards. "Oh please, your Majesty! Don't kill us!"

But the Queen of Hearts was remorseless, as she turned toward a bearded executioner holding a giant axe. "EXECUTIONER JASON…

…

…OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!"

"Oh no….." was the last thing the One of Clubs said before Jason Kelce caught him in one arm, with another playing card in his other arm, and a third man being carried over his shoulder toward a guillotine. The Queen of Hearts then turned her nose down at Casey, who was the only person left at her feet.

"Arise, outsider." Taylor demanded.

Casey slowly but surely stood up, looking into the eyes of Taylor with disgust rather than fear.

"My men are expendable. I'll have another deck to take the place of those executed by lunch time…but YOU stick out like a sore thumb more than anyone that's ever crossed my grounds. What brings you to my kingdom?"

"With all due respect, your Majesty, I died and thought I went to Heaven." Casey responded. "But it's clear now that I went to the OTHER place. In my past life I HATED your music."

"WHAAAAAAT?" Taylor exclaimed, her face turning red with fury.

"Yeah, and while I'm at it, who'd you buy your castle from? Because we all know you throw money at what you want whether it's a headline or a needless trademark!" Casey quipped.

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT YOUR QUEEN TO HER FACE!" Roared King Travis, whose screams were so loud and huge that a geyser of spit flew from his mouth onto Casey's face.

"You're a defiant one…." Taylor said. "…more so than anyone I've executed. I admire that. So since you like to use your words to try and get yourself out of this predicament, I'll humor you by playing to your strength. I sentence you to the COURTHOUSE…for a FREE and FAIR TRIAL. I want to know more about where you came from, and how you were able to brainwash my men into planting the wrong roses. Then we'll see if you're truly an innocent in all this. Understood?"

"Sh'yeah!" Casey nodded.

"CURTSEY BEFORE ME IF YOU ARE TRULY NOT GUILTY!" Yelled Taylor, to a grumble from the Goddess of Rock.

"Yes, your Majesty…."curtseyed Casey in a sardonic tone, to a snap of the finger from the Queen of Hearts.

"GUARDS! Escort the defiant one to our finest courtroom. There she will see her fate if she is found GUILTY."

With that, a slew of humanoid playing guards with swords stuck their weapons against Casey's back, ushering her forward. The Goddess of Rock took a minute to scan her surroundings and saw the heads of all three playing cards each in a basket, while next to them was a set of gallows where the lifeless corpse of Ariana Grande was hanging by her neck from a tight noose made from her iconic ponytail. Casey blinked twice, aghast at the sight.

"Not righteous…."

(To be concluded later in the chapter….)

Meanwhile in Liberty City, the XCW World Heavyweight Champion, Tommy Vercetti, was playing pool with Michael De Santa and Franklin Clinton; his title belt on full display over his shoulder.

"Ey Tommy, we ain't gonna take that belt away, ya know?" Franklin quipped.

"Yeah man, you've been carrying that everywhere you go since you won the damn thing." Michael observed, before striking the white cueball into a purple striped one, knocking it into the corner pocket of the pool table.

"I'm the World Champion, ain't I?" Tommy said, as he chalked up his pool cue. "If people don't see this belt, they don't know not to mess with me. Now check out this draw shot…."

However, just as Tommy set his pool cue against the edge of the table and pointed it at the white cueball, Trevor Phillips burst into the bar and dashed toward the World Heavyweight Champion and his fellow mates in the Empire.

"TOMMY! YOU AND I, WE GOTTA GO TO JERSEY! NOW!" Trevor exclaimed.

"Go?" Tommy repeated.

"Now?" Michael responded.

"JERSEY?" Franklin exclaimed.

"Why?" Tommy wondered.

"No time to explain! I got word about a sweet hit job that's gonna pay the BIG bucks! Come on, I left the car running!" Trevor informed.

"We kinda in the middle of a game here, dawg." Franklin said, gesturing toward the pool table.

"Finish it with Michael, because Tommy and I have some bonding to do!" Trevor said, before grabbing Tommy by the wrist and dragging him out of the bar.

"A champion's job is never done, I guess…." Tommy thought to himself as he was thrown into Trevor's Canis Bodhi in the parking lot.

"WOOOO! NEW JERSEY, HERE WE COME!" Trevor shouted, before putting the car into drive and accelerating out of the parking lot.

"I've never heard anyone THIS excited to go to New Jersey before…." Tommy said. "The pay we're getting better be worth the 2 hour drive."

And the two and a half-hour commute was indeed nothing to write home about, from the near-toxic smells of the state and obnoxious toll roads to boring sights and bumpy roads. Not to mention that the further they drove, the more Tommy's and Trevor's bodies started to flatten out from 2D characters in a hand-drawn space to some more one-dimensional and crude.

"That's odd. . ." Tommy said, observing the new unremarkable shape of his hand.

"What's that?" Trevor asked.

"Both our bodies and even the environment of South Jersey look flat and lifeless…." Tommy informed. "Is there even an animation budget for this segment?"

"Nah, that's probably just the drugs kicking in." Trevor dismissed. "I slipped a bit in your Coke after we stopped for gas a while back."

"...Trevor….what did you give me?" demanded the Harwood Butcher.

"I'll never tell!" Trevor replied with a grin, before the two gangsters finally pulled up to their destination. "Nor can I, because we're finally here!"

"It's about freakin' time…" Tommy expressed, entering the car and stretching his legs….only to see that Trevor had parked in front of a brick house with the words, 'GET OUT' spray-painted on the left side of the front wall. . .and a cup-shaped front door. . .

". . .you have GOT to be kidding me. . ." was all Tommy could say–

–before MASTER SHAKE burst out of the house and into the front lawn, with his fellow Aqua Teen Hunger Force mates Frylock and Meatwad following behind him!

"It's about TIME you assholes friggin' got here, I've got a grudge a mile wide and I'm ready to ACT ON IT!" Shake yelled.

"How's my favorite fast food combo doing? Nice to finally see your digs for myself!" Trevor said.

"Yeah, you guys live in a real palace here. . ." Tommy deadpanned, observing the rundown state of the Aqua Teen's house.

"There's more where that came from!" Shake said.

"Shake, you didn't tell us you would be having company." Frylock sneered. "Mind explaining why the XCW World Heavyweight Champion and his meth addict friend are here?"

"Hell no! That's secret mobster business!" Shake snapped.

"You ain't no mob boss and you know it." Meatwad snarked. "If you were a boss, you'd be uh. . .who's that one guy from The Office?"

"If you don't know his name, you don't deserve the answer." Shake said, before motioning for Tommy and Trevor to follow him. "Come on, guys! We're going out back!"

Later, Tommy and Trevor were standing outside in the Aqua Teen's backyard (which was actually Carl Brutanandilewski's backyard), staring at Master Shake in utter confusion as he was lounging on an inflatable raft on the water in Carl's above-ground pool.

"So lemme get this straight, you want *us* to help *you* rob and shoot up the strip club down the street from here . . . because you can get revenge on Kudelia Aina Bernstein and the XCW women's roster for what they did at Equal Pain?" Tommy asked, incredulous.

"You're damn right I do!" Shake confirmed, taking advantage of his sunglasses to avoid eye contact with his guests. "As men, it's our sworn DUTY to take XCW back from that Gundam bitch and everybody that fights for her. There won't BE an XGI tournament round tonight or any other night because all the women on our roster will learn of this, and be scared that what we do one hour from now will happen to THEM! WWE may have trademarked the Women's Revolution, but that's totally fine. Because I'm leading the MEN'S REVOLUTION, and I want you two on the ground floor!"

Tommy had opened his mouth to say something, but no sound came out because he was cut off by Trevor Phillips.

"Sounds like a good idea to me!" agreed the meth addict. "How much does this pay?"

"Everything we get from the club." assured Shake. "You guys wanna come in for a dip before we do the deed?"

"Nah, I didn't expect to swim so I didn't bring my gear." Trevor responded.

"And I don't think that guy expected us here." Tommy deadpanned, as Carl Brutanandilewski lumbered toward Shake.

"Tommy, Trevor….Shake….what the hell are you guys doing on this side of the country?" Carl growled.

"We're galaxy braining about the future, Carl." Shake answered. "Because we've got a get-rich quick scheme in the works that even Eddy dreams of pulling off."

"Hmph, the kid's an idiot but even HE doesn't dream of what we're doing…" Tommy muttered to himself.

"Look, Shake…I don't care what kinda shit you three got going on," Carl said. "But can ya talk your dumb business somewhere else and GET OUTTA MY FRIGGIN POOL?!"

Later, Tommy Vercetti and Trevor Phillips were in the front seats of Trevor's car, with Master Shake in the back polishing an M16 as they pulled up to the Wicked Angels strip club.

"This the place?" Trevor asked.

"If it says Wicked Angels, it's the place. What am I, an interpreter?" Shake snapped.

"You're something, alright…" Tommy snarked, gripping a pistol he was concealing.

"Yeah, I'm about to be HELLA RICH and HELLA POWERFUL!" Shake yelled. "Alright, boys! The Men's Revolution begins NOW!"

With that statement, Master Shake burst out of the car and charged toward the strip club, shooting the bouncer at the front door while Tommy and Trevor looked on, eyes wide in disbelief.

"...did he just Leeroy Jenkins his way in there?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah, he sure did…" Trevor replied. "Come on, let's play catch-up, collect our payday and get outta here!"

Trevor left his truck with an AK-47 in hand, while Tommy got out on the passenger side with his dual pistols. The two seasoned mobsters made their way into the strip club, with Tommy following behind Trevor deep in thought. Under the moronic direction of Master Shake, acting on a nonsensical quest for revenge put a bad taste in his mouth. For Tommy, vengeance needed a diabolical goal with a valid and measured plan of action. Shake's reaction to what happened at Equal Pain was just lazy, knee-jerk, and icky. Guess that's all to be expected from an anthropomorphic milkshake.

And upon his arrival through the curtained doorway to the main floor, said milkshake had opened fire on everyone in his field of vision with guns a-blazing. Master Shake was shooting everything that moved right in front of him, whether they were strippers, bartenders or customers, cackling with maniacal glee with a wide, sadistic smile on his face.

"THE MEN'S LIBERATION FRONT STRIKES NOW, BITCHES!" Shake exclaimed, in between switching rounds of ammo. "WHERE'S YOUR SAVIOR KUDELIA NOW?"

"Hey, Shake! Shoot 'em in their boobies!" Trevor called, as he shot a stripper in one of her breasts, causing its gooey implants to ooze out of her body while she shrieked at the top of her lungs.

"Great idea, Trevrod!" Shake cried. "That's a great way to send our message! YOUR PRIVATE PARTS AIN'T SO PRIVATE NOW, ARE THEY?"

With that, the sociopathic milkshake continued his onslaught, with blood and viscera exploding every which way but loose. The scene made the Harwood Butcher roll his eyes in annoyance before he made his way toward the back of the strip club, but not before passing an overweight stripper who was obliviously slurring, "DANCE?! ANYBODY LIKE A DAAAAAANCE?"

The Harwood Butcher burst through the back of the club into the manager's office—

—WHERE THE MANAGER SENT TOMMY FLYING BACKWARD INTO A STRIPPER POLE WITH THE BLAST OF A SAWN-OFF SHOTGUN! Tommy cringed from the impact, double checking his chest and–yep, the Kevlar vest he put on beforehand came in handy once again. He took a few beats to regain his bearings before pulling himself up and tossing a teargas grenade into the manager's office. He took a beat for it to go off and then put on a gas mask he had concealed in his bulletproof vest before bursting into the office and charging toward the manager, who was huddled in a corner clawing at his eyes and face amongst the blistering cloud of tear gas. The Harwood Butcher pulled the manager up by the shirt and held him up against a wall.

"LOOK, MAN! WHAT DO YOU WANT? TELL ME AND I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU!" cried the manager. "JUST MAKE THIS FUCKING STOP!"

"THE GAS IS ON YOU FOR MAKING IT HARD!" Tommy snapped. "But just give me the combination to your safe and you'll be ALL BETTER!"

"Five….forty-two…..and twenty three—-" stuttered the manager, to getting dropped by the Harwood Butcher for his troubles. Tommy then strode toward the safe and pressed his ear to the door before trying the combination as described by the manager. Once the tumblers clicked and the medium sized safe door opened, Tommy smirked in satisfaction before standing up and stepping toward the manager, who was crawling toward his silent alarm. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL TOMMY SHOT THE MANAGER IN BOTH HIS HANDS! The manager screamed in agony, rolling onto his back from all the impact!

"I told ya. . .DON'T MAKE THIS HARD." Tommy growled, before turning his attention back to the safe and shoveling bundles of cash into his many pockets.

Back on the main floor, Master Shake was still blasting his way through the strip club like a kid in a candy store. He wasn't even aiming at strippers anymore, he was destroying jukeboxes, the light fixtures, the DJ booth, anything that was in the path of his M16 barrels was immediately destroyed in a torrent of bullets.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! YEEEEEAAAAAAAH! WE REIGN SUPREME!" Shake cried, before a table falling over caught his attention.

"Whadda we got over here?" Shake wondered, before he trudged toward the knocked-down table to see a stripper out of her hiding place.

"Well well well, thought you could get away without giving me a suck-off, eh, Amber? That is your name, right?" Shake wondered.

"M-m-m-my name's Bridget—" admitted the stripper, her eyes full of tears in terror.

"Whatever, I'm calling ya Amber. That name is more common amongst you people." Shake quipped, before throwing one of his M16s down to the ground, upon which it inexplicably exploded.

"Now there's only one way you're getting outta here alive, Amber….by either giving ME a blow job, or by giving it to my Gatling here." Shake warned, waving his second M16 in front of Amber's eyeline. "So what's it gonna be?"

Amber suddenly found herself staring at the barrel of Shake's M16, which was pointed right between her eyes.

"Come on, bitch! You can't kill me with shit, but I can kill you with bullets, and take 'em like a champ, too! I'm INVINCIBLE! Go ahead and blow me!" Shake demanded. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL HE WAS SHOT IN THE BACK WITH A SAWN-OFF SHOTGUN FROM BEHIND BY TOMMY VERCETTI!

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Shake exclaimed, before falling to the ground and groaning in agonizing pain, while Amber looked on in horror at the gruesome scene before her, her person covered in blood and even Shake's innards, both gore and softserve.

"TOMMY. . .DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE AN INSIDE AGENT FOR THESE GODDAMN BIMBOS!" Shake yelled. "YOU FUGGIN' SON OF A BITCH!"

"TREVOR!" Tommy called, "Leave the gun, we're taking off."

"Oh COME ON!" Trevor groaned. "This is the most fun I've had in years!"

"Yeah, well, I've got all we needed and set off the silent alarm." Tommy informed. "Let's get outta here and go to Pay 'n Spray before the cops arrive."

"Oh all right. . .but what about him?" Trevor wondered, pointing at an exhausted, moaning and bleeding out Master Shake.

"Who cares?" responded Tommy, before motioning Trevor to follow him out. "He's an idiot. I ain't getting him outta jail."

"Neither am I." Trevor added. "Hope Frylock has the savings for his bail money."

With that, Tommy and Trevor left the strip club, leaving a traumatized Amber in the fetal position on the floor next to a bleeding out Master Shake.

"I gave them the mission of a lifetime, and THIS IS THE THANKS I GET?" Master Shake screamed aloud to no one in particular, before the show transitioned to the final scene. . .

. . .which happened to be back in "Wonderland", where Casey Lynch stood at the defendant's desk in a giant psychedelically painted courtroom, with the King and Queen of Hearts across from her as the plaintiffs. Everyone in the audience behind them and the jury next to the Royal plaintiffs was waiting on pins and needles with anticipation for the honorable judge.

"Don't I get my own attorney?" Casey wondered. "That's gotta be a rule here, right?"

"The only rule here is MINE," retorted the Queen of Hearts, her visage never looking away from the judge's podium.

Casey rolled her eyes. "Sorry I asked," before a cop who suspiciously looked like Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen from the 1981 Dune film adaptation stepped into the booth next to the judge's stand wearing a police badge on its Speedo.

"All rise for the honorable Judge Matthew R. Lynch presiding."

That name perked Casey's ears up, and widened her eyes.

"W-w-what?"

Cool beads of sweat formed above her brow while everyone around her stood up as directed. Then out from the door right behind the police officer, wearing an ominous red hooded robe, lumbered a tall, burly man up to the judge's stand. Drawing back his hood, the judge revealed his bald head, blue eyes and a goatee the same color of Casey's hair. He recognizes Casey and gives her an unsettling smile, revealing teeth stained by years of cigarettes and drinking. With a loud and low bellow of, "BE SEATED," Casey sank back down…but not before saying the name resting on her lips since his name reached her ears. . .

"D–Dad. . .?"

That utterance brought back a flood of traumatic memories to the Goddess of Rock; the verbal abuse he hurled toward her when she'd come home from school with a bad grade. Every time his belligerence made a guy she was dating end their relationship out of fear. Cleaning the blood of the pigs he'd kill in his slaughterhouse on weekends. The forced confessions at their Catholic Church. She had run away from him and their home in Washington, DC at 12:01am on her 18th birthday and never looked back. For Casey, this moment felt like seeing a ghost.

But for Judge Lynch, it was strictly business. He gandered toward the Queen of Hearts, who was beaming with pride and confidence. As far as she was concerned, this trial was in the bag.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, your majesty, loyal subjects, everyone in the audience watching–"

"A-HEM…." interrupted King Travis Kelce, who had a grimace on his face.

"...and the King…." added Judge Lynch (to a smile from King Travis), "...the prisoner at the bar is charged with illegally trespassing on the castle grounds of Her Majesty, the Queen of Hearts, vandalizing her property, and thereby willfully teasing, tormenting, insulting, and otherwise annoying–"

"-THANK YOU, Judge Lynch…." interrupted the Queen of Hearts. "Get to the part where I sentence her to death!"

"SENTENCE?!" Casey exclaimed. "TO DEATH?! Jeez, who gave you a law degree, Lance Ito?"

"ORDER IN THE COURT!" shouted Judge Lynch, before pounding the stand with his gavel, bringing silence to the room.

"DAD! I'm your DAUGHTER! PLEASE give me a witness or two!" pleaded Casey.

"I follow the rules of my Queen," growled the Judge, before turning toward his master on the far side of the bar. She stood up, hand raised, taking a deep breath in from the mouth as if she were about to scream her infamous catchphrase. . .

. . .

. . .until she felt the big fingers of her king tapping against the small of her back in a comforting motion.

"The urchin is right, honey. . ." informed King Travis. ". . .we haven't called any witnesses yet."

The Queen of Hearts huffed in annoyed anger. "Oh, alright. . .the defense calls. . .THE KID TO THE STAND!"

And with that declaration, all of a sudden the doors at the back of the courthouse flew open, and sure enough, The Kid was standing in his trademark pose wearing a sequined purple jacket, sequined silver jeans and a sequined silver silk shirt, as the opening synth line of 'Let's Go Crazy' inexplicably rang throughout the room just before The Kid began to make his testimony.

Dearly beloved

We are gathered here today

To get through this thing called 'life'

Electric word, 'life'

It means forever and that's a mighty long time, but I'm here to tell you–

There's something else….the afterworld

A world of never ending happiness

You can always see the sun, day or night

So when you call up that shrink in Beverly Hills

You know the one, Dr. Everything'll-Be-All-Right

Instead of asking him how much of your time is left

Ask him how much of your mind, babe

'Cause in this life

Things are much harder than in the afterworld

In this life

You're on your own—

But before Prince could get one dance move or guitar note in, the Queen of Hearts shouted, "Now THAT'S an important note! Members of the jury, write that down. Thank you Kid!"

"BOOOOO!" jeered Casey. "I wanted to see him play–"

"NEXT WITNESS!" bellowed Judge Lynch, upon which, a giant blue caterpillar with face tattoos slithered into the courtroom.

"Defense calls. . .CATERPOST MALONE to the stand!" declared King Travis, as the giant caterpillar just openly lit a joint and took a drag of it to shock and awe from the crowd, while the Queen of Hearts shot up from the bar in visible disgust.

"HOW DARE YOU STAIN THIS COURTROOM WITH MARIJUANA!" screamed the Queen of Hearts.

"Ey why don't you relax, Queen Taylor?" asked CaterPost Malone before giving a pot-fueled chuckle. "It's all good on my side of this Wonderland, ha ha!"

"OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" shouted the Queen of Hearts, before a gaggle of playing card guards picked up CaterPost Malone by all his feet and carried him out of the courtroom.

"Damn, is this the royal treatment, brah? Haha I like it!" giggled CaterPost Malone, before taking another long drag of his joint on his way out of the courtroom.

"Well, that was pointless. . ." muttered Casey, before King Travis rose to call the next witness.

"Defense calls. . .ZIGGY STARDUST TO THE STAND!"

"FINALLY! A voice of reason. . ." Casey said to herself, as Ziggy floated toward the witness stand with arms splayed like the androgynous deity he was. . .or rather, believed himself to be.

"Where were you when the plaintiff was committing these horrible crimes?" interrogated the Queen of Hearts.

"I was there." Ziggy said, albeit with stoicism.

"A-HA! So you were an accomplice?!" exclaimed the Queen.

"No, because I was here." retorted Ziggy.

"...you've been on trial before?" questioned the Queen.

"I've been everywhere, madam. Across the entire universe. All time, past, present and future all occur simultaneously–"

"OH, SPARE ME YOUR PSYCHEDELIC MUMBO JUMBO!" snapped the Queen of Hearts. "OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!"

"You will do your part, and I will do mine." Ziggy said sadly, before inexplicably vanishing in a giant cloud of sparkly smoke.

"Next….cough….witness….TOMMY-DEE and…*cough*...TOMMY-DUM!" shouted King Travis, to raised eyebrows from Casey. The Goddess of Rock turned around. . .

. . .

. . .and saw short and portly twins of her ex-boyfriend, Tommy Vercetti, trotting into the courtroom with beer guts sticking out from underneath their button-down Hawaiian shirts.

"I haven't met these two, either!" Casey attested. "Why are THEY here? And. . .why do you look like . . . Tommy?"

"Because that's what my name is, toots!" responded Tommy-Dee, who even sounded just like the current XCW World Champion.

"Yeah, ya got a problem with it?" added Tommy-Dum.

"What I had a PROBLEM WITH was your ATTITUDE!" Casey snapped.

"YOU ENJOYED MY ATTITUDE!" shouted Tommy-Dee.

"WHY ELSE DID WE ARGUE SO MUCH?" wondered Tommy-Dum.

"I LOVED YOUR ENERGY AND WANTED TO MATCH IT!" screamed Casey.

"SEE! YOU KNEW I WASN'T THE SENTIMENTAL TYPE!" retorted Tommy-Dee.

"Yep, that's on YOU!" agreed Tommy-Dum.

"BULLSHIT! YOU WERE!" retorted Casey. "You took me to concerts, put me before yourself, we spent nights watching the sunrise together, for fuck's sake!"

"Ey, is this a trial or an episode of Springer?" The Kid wondered, poking his head back into the courtroom with a smug smile.

"OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!" exclaimed the Queen of Hearts, to which The Kid left the room.

"You were wonderful to me, Tommy. . .but then you became a resentful, toxic MONSTER!" Casey asked, as tears formed in her eyes. "What the hell happened to you? WHY COULDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU LOVED ME?!"

"ORDER IN THE COURT!"

At that deafening scream from her father at his podium, Casey, Tommy-Dee and Tommy-Dum turned their attention to the judge.

"Maybe you shouldn't be asking why he didn't say he loved you. . .

. . .

. . .and instead ask if you love yourself."

That's when it finally hit her like a ton of bricks.

All her favorite musicians living together in one world, the psychedelic decor of every location, the complete and utter nonsense taking place before her eyes, the appearance of her greatest tormentors here to give her one last middle finger . . . this wasn't heaven, or hell . . . this was her mind. Her own fucked-up, ravaged-by-trauma and self-hatred mind. The only way to escape it was to finally move on from her break-up with Tommy, and confront the personal demons conjured by memories of life with her father. The first step forward was to make way for self-respect and self-love, and it had to start right here, right now, by standing up to the Tommy twins and this brute of a judge that raised her.

"Your Honor, if I may. . .I'd like to call MYSELF to the stand!" Casey demanded, to gasps from the audience. Judge Lynch leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms.

"Very well. Come up here, my child. Plead for your innocence," said Judge Lynch, in a condescending tone.

"Righteous. . ." Casey interjected, before pulling out the clarinet from earlier and playing a chord on the woodwind. . .

. . .

. . .and the ensuing notes made her GROW SO TALL THAT HER HEAD HIT THE CEILING! Both Tommy twins and Judge Lynch gazed up at the now-giant Goddess of Rock with eyes wide and full of fright, while the Queen of Hearts rose from her seat unphased.

"GUARDS! SEIZE HER!" screamed the Queen of Hearts, pointing at Casey for dramatic effect. A horde of playing card guards charged toward her with spears in the shape of their respective symbols, but were only able to poke at the skin on Casey's feet.

"I'm not afraid of you. . ." Casey bellowed, as she bent over to knock down one section of the playing card troops with a wave of her hand.

". . .you're nothing but a pack of cards," she finished, stomping the remaining playing cards into a torn up heap! Judge Lynch was trembling at his podium, smashing his gavel against the wood repeatedly.

"ORDER! I WILL HAVE ORDER IN MY COURT!" screamed Judge Lynch in a frenzy.

"You will have NOTHING. . ." warned Casey, who picked up her father by the hood and flicked him like a paper football against the wall, where he slammed against it with a gory splat!

Tommy-Dee and Tommy-Dum were sprinting toward the back of the courtroom and were about to make it past the double doors. . .

. . .

. . .UNTIL CASEY STOMPED ON BOTH OF THEM WITH ONE FOOT, LEAVING NOTHING BUT A MESSY PILE OF VISCERA!

"And YOU have no control over me. . ." Casey said, her head tilted down toward the remains of the Tommy twins.

"Uhhh. . .OFF WITH HER—" ordered the Queen of Hearts, only for Giant Casey to turn around and glare at her with a venomous fury.

"And as for YOU, SWIFTIE. . ." Casey bellowed, ". . .you may THINK you're a queen. You may think you can trademark everything you want at the snap of a finger, you may be able to make appearances everywhere you can make money, you may be able to get your millions of devoted followers to do whatever you want. . .but that doesn't change the fact that you're a CALCULATED, POMPOUS, CONNIVING AND TYRANNICAL BITCH!"

However, in her anger, Casey didn't realize that the longer she ranted, the smaller she shrank!

"Uh-oh. . ." she said to herself, upon finally observing she was back to her normal height.

"Well, Ms. Lynch. . .you may have defiled my courtroom and stood up to my judge, but you're right about one thing. . .I CAN get my millions of devoted followers to do whatever I want," the Queen of Hearts foreboded, as she stood up and scanned the Swiftie army in the back of the courtroom.

"SWIFTIE NATION. . ." the Queen of Hearts exclaimed, pointing at Casey for effect as she concluded with. . .

. . .

". . .OFF WITH HER HEAD!"

And with that, the jury and the plethora of courtroom spectators burst from their seats and began to chase Casey!

"Oh boy. . ." interjected the Goddess of Rock, before turning around and making a beeline for the door to the judge's office behind the podium. She stepped through it. . .

. . .

. . .only to see that it led to–a beach?

"Woah. . ." was all Casey had time to say before running down the orange sands of the Wonderland beach, as psychedelic patterns were forming and morphing in the trippy sky above her and the angry mob behind her. She kept kicking up sand with every step she took in the heavy sands, but nevertheless, Casey ran.

She ran until her heart was pumping oil, then she ran some more.

She was straining in visible pain as the beach on which she was running turned into an infinite dance hall. . .

. . .

. . .and then her veins were popping out of her skull when her location morphed into the dinner table at which she sat with Ziggy Stardust and The Kid mere hours ago. . .

. . .

. . .but her muscles began to ache when her surroundings transformed into the scroll of a Guitar Hero game! Casey leapt from colored note to colored note, trying to ignore the image of her virtual self performing, "Through The Fire And The Flames" by Dragonforce on Expert level, and the fact that her Rock Meter kept turning toward the danger zone on the bottom left side of the screen!

Just before the song failed, Casey leapt off the scroll, hoping and praying internally for dear life that something, ANYTHING would break her fall. . .

. . .

. . .but she wasn't falling anymore. She was FLOATING. . .floating in an ethereal tunnel of purple circular smoke clouds. She swam through the air, trying to gain a further distance from the angry mob led by the Queen of Hearts. . .

. . .

. . .as she finally got ever closer to the door she saw at the beginning of her adventure just floating around the void without a wall or hinges! She reached out for the doorknob, her fingers brushing the gold of the handle at first before drifting just a foot more and FINALLY getting a good grasp! Casey turned the knob left and right but it wouldn't budge. In desperation, she planted her feet against the bottom of the door and pulled even HARDER on the knob with both hands, but the door still wouldn't open!

"HEY! TAKE IT EASY!" screamed the doorknob. "I'm STILL locked, you know!"

"But the Queen of Hearts is trying to KILL ME!" Casey screamed. "GIVE ME YOUR KEY AND LET ME OUTTA HERE!"

The doorknob laughed. "Are you sure? You already ARE on the other side of me!"

Casey furrowed her brow, looking at the knob in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"See for yourself. . ." foreboded the doorknob, before opening his keyhole mouth wide and long enough for Casey to look through it. . .

. . .

. . .and see herself in her hospital bed!

"Wha–that's ME! I'm . . . COMATOSE!" Casey exclaimed. "Come on, Casey! Wake up!"

Casey continued beating on the door in a futile attempt to wake her real self up, but there was no use. She was out like a light, and the Queen of Hearts and her army were coming ever closer!

"OFF WITH HER HEAD!" shouted the Queen of Hearts, her voice growing louder and louder by the second!

"WAKE UP, CASEY! FIGHT, GODDAMN IT! I LOVE YOU!" Casey cried, before freezing in realization. "Wait a minute! This is all in my head. . ."

With that realization, the Goddess of Rock pulled the clarinet out of her jacket and studied it.

". . .and I've had the key all along. . ."

Upon making that statement, the clarinet in her hand inexplicably shapeshifted. . .

. . .

. . .into the key Casey needed to unlock the door! The Goddess of Rock thrust it into the door's keyhole and turned the key which opened the door that Casey was quick to fall through!

Her troubles may have been over, but her journey wasn't. The Queen of Hearts and her army had disappeared in the distance behind her, but now Casey was falling down an endless black void through an infinite labyrinth of doors, each one opening right after the other when she flew through them. She couldn't remember why she was in the hospital in the first place and didn't know what laid before her upon waking up, but if there was anything she did know, it's that she was going to let go of her past with her father and Tommy, take care of herself better, and love herself more. She sighed in contentment as she closed her eyes, accepting herself and her fate until she fell through a doorway engulfed in white light. . .

. . .

. . .she had floated through the last door, there was nothing to do now but fall backwards, eyes wide in disbelief as she kept falling in slow motion down this realm of empty, ominous blackness. . .

. . .

. . .but she kept getting smaller and smaller as the scene moved further away from Casey, until she was nothing but the size of a mere twinkle in an eye. . .

. . .

. . .her eyes, in particular, which were still closed as the scene returned to her hospital room, where Jessica was still crying at her bedside.

"Case….." Jessica said, between tearful sobs, ". . .please tell me you're in there….."

Of course, Casey didn't tell her right away that she was in there. . .but the machines around her started to beep more rapidly, but still stable. . .

. . .

. . .and her left index finger inexplicably twitched. . .

. . .

. . .and Jessica gasped upon hearing a closed-lip moan from her best friend.

"CASEY?! Is–is that you?" Jessica exclaimed, standing up and taking a step back as the rest of the Infamous Six did the same to give their friend space.

Her eyes slowly but surely opened, and it took a few seconds of blinking for her vision to return to full focus.

"Ugh…..where am I?" Casey mumbled.

And with that, Casey heard a massive collective sigh in front of her, one from Darrell "D-Mob" Lewis and all her friends in the Infamous Six: Stanley "The Mask" Ipkiss, Claude Speed, Alexander DeLarge, Judge Dredd, and a VERY emotional Jessica Wilson.

"You're in the hospital, Case. . .Bloody Mary put quite a beating on you at Equal Pain." Claude informed.

"Yeah, she knocked you into next week!...well, actually today's Tuesday, so…almost halfway through!" The Mask added.

"But you're alive and well despite it all!" Alex said.

"Indeed." grumbled Judge Dredd. "Glad to have you back with us."

"Glad?" Jessica repeated. "I'm ECSTATIC! We all thought you were dead!"

Casey chuckled. "I thought I was, too. . ."

"What was it like in a coma?" Alex wondered.

"Well, I thought I had died and went to Heaven, but it turned out to be something more bizarre than I could have ever imagined." Casey said. "Could have sworn that David Bowie was there, and Prince and Taylor Swift, and a giant caterpillar Post Malone–"

"That sounds like a top 40 fever dream." Claude deadpanned.

"It was. . .but I'm just glad to be awake and to have my health on top of it." Casey said, sighing in contentment.

"You better take care of yourself for however long you're here." Judge Dredd ordered. "You've got a lot on your plate starting Thursday."

Casey blinked twice. "W-w-what?"

"Oh, you weren't awake to hear the announcement!" D-Mob surmised. "You got in a tournament, Case, the XGI. Winner gets to fight for the Women's title at Animania."

"Really?" Casey exclaimed.

"Yeah, but you just concentrate on resting until then. Because when you check out of here, it's eight straight weeks of wrestling." Claude informed.

"How do you feel about that?" Jessica said, placing her hand over Casey's after wiping tears out of her eyes.

Casey took a few beats to ponder the answer to that question, but once she knew what to say, she looked at her devoted friends with a confident smirk on her face.

"I think. . .

. . .it's righteous."

And with that, XCW: All Access cut to black and went to the end credits.

Alright, that took longer than expected! Regardless, I hope it was worth the wait. As always, let me know what you think of my stories, and if my storylines and characters are inconsistent anywhere. I'm thankful to all of you for sticking by me and being patient through my absence. It really means a lot, especially when I get a review or feedback in general! If there's anything else you'd like to see on the All Access side of things, by all means, let me know in the reviews!

But the next chapter will see XCW return to the ring for the first two nights of the XGI! Who will make a great first impression in the round robin tournament that will determine the number one contender for the XCW Women's Championship? That and more will be answered in the next two chapters! Those will come soon, but until then, please READ, REACT, AND REVIEW!