On their way through the wintery mountains, Geralt and his Hansa discover a hut in a glade and decide to spend the night there. It is a quite special hut. It might even be fun.
"Regis, what the fuck?" Geralt asks, gawping at the higher vampire. This he did not expect to find on his return from setting traps, no, not at all. Completely naked, his unlikely friend is standing in the high snow in front of the little hut they discovered in the wintery glade, a nice place to spend the night in. And not only that Regis is mother naked, he is also rubbing his skin with hands full of snow, as if he wanted to take a snow bath. What on the continent has suddenly got into the vampire? Of course, Geralt knows that Regis is completely insensitive to both heat and cold, but so far he has always had the decency to behave like a normal human and wear clothes, although he technically does not need any.
"Ah, Geralt, come, get out of your things and join us." Regis smiles at him invitingly. However, what exactly he is inviting him to, totally eludes the Witcher.
"Have you lost your marbles, vampire?" he asks, furrowing his brow. "What are you doing like this in the snow? And where are the others?"
Before Regis can answer, the door of the hut is flung open and Angoulême comes running, as mother naked as the higher vampire. With a loud whoop, she dives head first into a snowdrift. A brief moment later, Milva and Cahir appear in the doorway and leap into the deep snow in a slightly more dignified, but no less nude manner. Angoulême immediately begins to throw armfuls of snow at them.
Geralt stares at his Hansa, flabbergasted.
"The hut has a sauna, Witcher," Regis explains with a chuckle. "An ingenious and extremely beneficial invention that cleanses the body from toxins, boosts the immune system and stimulates both circulation and metabolism. You should try it. It doesn't bite."
A sauna. Vaguely, Geralt remembers having read about a contraption by that name. You sit naked in a small, crowded room, sweating all over until you almost die of heat stroke, then you get out and cool off in the nearby river or lake, only to start over again. It did not sound like it would be fun, or a reasonable thing to do. But his friends seem to thoroughly enjoy themselves. Perhaps he should give this sauna thingy a try?
With a sceptical gaze at his comrades, who seem to have suddenly gone bananas, Geralt takes off his swords and begins to undress.
"That's the spirit," Regis says with a bright grin. "I think I even have some essential oils for an infusion. What would you prefer, Geralt, oranges and sandalwood? Mountain pine? Lemongrass? Lavender? Or vanilla and sea buckthorn perhaps?"
"Lilac and gooseberry," the Witcher grunts while getting out of his tight black leather pants.
Shivering slightly from the cold, Angoulême, Milva and Cahir stop throwing snow at each other and disappear in the sauna again.
"Ah, of course, lilac and gooseberry it is. Good choice." Regis winks at Geralt. Then he, too, disappears inside the hut.
"Alright, let's do this. Can't be worse than slaying monsters," Geralt tells himself while standing naked in the snow. He leaves his clothes on the wooden bench in front of the hut next to the others' things, then he takes a deep breath and opens the door. He is greeted by a wave of heat. The room is small, has no window and is only dimly illuminated by the flames in the huge fireplace. His human companions are sprawled out on wooden benches that run along the walls, while the higher vampire is standing next to the fireplace, a bucket of water in his hands.
"Come, sit, friend," he says, smiling through pursed lips. "Ready for the infusion?"
With a grunt, Geralt flops down on one of the benches beside Cahir, and closes his eyes. The warmth is pleasant after the long day of riding through the snow, he must admit, and when Regis pours water infused with essential oils onto the hot stones next to the fireplace, the enticing aroma of lilacs and gooseberries fills the air. Nice. And very relaxing.
Maybe Regis is right and this sauna thing is indeed an ingenious invention?