"It is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so very deeply."

~d.j.

Chopper

Eight months later…

"Nike, you read me?" Elizabeth asked. I sat in the RIO position for Kristen Cohen. She and her younger sister Bailey had been partnered with Elizabeth and me for the hops today, going against a team of other pilots. Despite the prior issues between Elizabeth and Bailey, they managed to put them aside for the hop. Whether they liked it or not, they made a decent team, but I was proud to say that, so far, Elizabeth and I had had the quickest time for hop completion. We were unbeaten so far, too, and we intended to keep it that way.

"Loud and clear," Kristen responded, flying closely behind Elizabeth. "Chopper, you have a reading on those bogeys?"

"Two enemies coming straight at us at 300 knots."

"Roger, that. Let's take them down," Elizabeth said, hitting the afterburners.

"Make sure you let me get a kill," Kristen told her. "Can't have you taking all the glory."

Elizabeth laughed. "I just see an opportunity, and I take it. I don't think about any glory."

"Says the girl whose beating all the records."

"Ah, it's just beginner's luck," Bailey said nonchalantly, but I could still hear her annoyance. I still hadn't forgiven her for spreading the vicious rumors about Elizabeth cheating on her assignments and causing some of the professors to doubt her integrity and genuine skill and intelligence. Elizabeth proved them all wrong, including Bailey, but I saw how much it wrecked her internally despite her scary ability to hide her emotions and remain outwardly calm and collected.

"Nike, put some distance between us," Elizabeth warned. "I don't want you flying through my jet wash."

"Cadet Banks, I wouldn't be flying where I am if I thought it was unsafe. Continue on course. I'm fine."

Chopper disagreed with his pilot, sharing the same concerns as Elizabeth. Nike flew too close, and he decided to make the point as well. "You might feel safe, Nike, but I don't. You need to increase the distance between us and Elizabeth."

"As the senior cadet here, I beg to differ. Elizabeth, continue on course and take the shot."

Barely hiding her irritation, my best friend replied, "Roger, switching to missiles and trying to lock on."

For a few seconds, Elizabeth swerved left and right, and veered up and down, but either the other cadet evaded her too well, or she was too distracted by Nike's tailgating. It rarely took Elizabeth long to eliminate other student 'enemies,' so that gave me my answer.

"Elizabeth, take the shot!" Nike's command dripped with evident irritation and impatience. "For God's sake, I could take the shot from here!"

"Unlike you apparently do, I don't have a clear shot," Elizabeth clipped. "And it's hard to focus on what's in front of me when I have you riding my tail too closely."

"You're not going to survive in a war if you're too distracted by your wingmen flying behind you."

"I don't have an issue with people flying behind me. I have an issue with you flying way too closely. Back. Off."

"Oh, for fu-"

"Shit!" Elizabeth jerked her plane upward, and for the first time in my life, my mouth failed me. I couldn't open it in time to warn Nike to divert her plane anywhere but straight, and we flew directly through Elizabeth's jetwash.

"Engine one is out!" I exclaimed, frantically hitting buttons to try and regain it. Nike swore colorfully, pulling the jet as high as she could. We reached fifteen thousand feet before the worst-case scenario happened. "Engine two is out!"

"Oh fuck!" Nike's exclamation echoed my own thoughts, but I was too busy being pinned down to my seat by the extensive G-forces as our plane fell helpless to the ground, which grew ever closer.

"Chopper, eject!" Elizabeth's panicked tone- one I'd never heard from her before- all but stopped my heart.

"I- I can't… reach-" I stammered out, barely able to put together a sentence with the pressure mounting on me, both physically and mentally. "Nike, can you-"

"Almost… got it…" she huffed out. I continued straining against the G-forces without success and began mentally saying my goodbyes. I could hear Elizabeth still, frantically trying to get me to answer, but what could I say? That I was okay when I clearly wasn't? That I'd survive this when that chance became slimmer and slimmer by the second? That I lo-

"Got it!" Nike exclaimed before the canopy lifted up, and we were ejected violently into the air. I scrambled to pull my parachute open while battling the disorientation. It opened with less than fifteen hundred feet to go, and I had a feeling the landing would be anything but smooth and gentle. Once my parachute opened, I scanned the area and designated my landing spot: the freezing waters of Academy Lake. Unfortunately, trees surrounded any reachable landing distance, making the lake my only option. Before I landed, I searched the skies for Nike. Realizing she wasn't in front of me, I twisted my head to glance behind each shoulder.

Nothing.

A pit of dread formed in my stomach. Either she was above me with my parachute blocking the view or-

Against my better judgment, I looked at the water below and observed something I hadn't before in the chaos of the ejection. A parachute behind me, floating limply on the black water, and Nike nowhere to be seen, meaning one of two things: either she'd already started swimming toward the shore, or she was trapped underneath the parachute. A quick scan of the waters informed the former option wasn't what happened.

Nausea rolling in my stomach, I landed in the icy waters and immediately began swimming toward the parachute, ignoring the protest of my battered body. I dug through the soaked fabric, frantically calling out for Nike with no response until-

"No, no, no!" I pulled Nike against my chest and swiftly put my fingers against her throat, checking for a pulse. I only felt mine. Ensuring I had a good grip on her, I swam us to shore. The moment we arrived on dry land, I removed her flight suit and began chest compressions. I continued them for God knows how long, only stopping when the rescue team arrived. Even then, when they tried to check on me, I fought them, telling them to resuscitate her.

Deep down, I knew they wouldn't be able to. Deep down, I knew that Nike was dead.

Blaze

I lay on my bed, staring up at my ceiling in the dim light of my lamp. I couldn't sleep because of the nightmares of Nike and Chopper's dead bodies floating in the water. I couldn't drink water without the swallowing hurting my throat due to the permanent knot that resided there ever since the incident. I couldn't eat because food refused to stay down, even just a small, saltine cracker.

Nike was dead. That much I knew based on Bailey's violent reaction to me when we got out of our planes. From what Bailey had seen as we crested over the trees on order to return to base, Nike's parachute failed to open. My guess is that she on impact the moment she hit the water. At least it was quick…

As for Chopper, I hadn't heard a word about him. Bailey had been focused on her sister, and I couldn't blame her for that. My phone buzzed a few times, but I couldn't bring myself to read the incoming texts, dreading what they would say. Surely if he was okay, I would've received some information about it, and it wouldn't come in the form of a text. An official would come tell me.

Then there was my career to worry about. It wasn't my fault that Nike had been too close behind me and flown into my jet wash. It wasn't my fault that it caused her engine to stall, sending her into an uncontrollable spin. And yet there was an investigation into her death. What if they didn't see it the way I did? After all, had I not been there, this never would've happened. Nike would still be here, and Bailey wouldn't hate me more than she already did. They had to tear her off of me when we landed. I'd been in too much shock to fight back, and all I could think about was Chopper. Was he dead because of me too?

Now, my ability to fly had been temporarily suspended until the investigation came to its conclusion. Bailey was on a warpath to make sure I never got in a plane again. I wouldn't put it past her to try and have me kicked out of the Academy.

My phone buzzed again. I ignored it, wiping away silent tears as they trickled down my face over the death of Nike, the possible death of Chopper, and the likely imminent death of my career. What would I do now? What college would want to accept a murderer? What company would want to hire a dishonorably discharged cadet and murderer? Absolutely no one. I had no prospects if I got kicked out, and I didn't know what I'd do with my life. Being a fighter pilot is all I ever wanted to be. Without that, what was I?

And if charged, what prison would I be sent to? I'm tough as nails in most situations, but I knew well enough that I wouldn't survive a day in prison. The women would take one look at me and deem me an easy target. I would

A quiet but firm knock sounded from my doorway, pulling me out of my spiraling thoughts. It wasn't a professor or official. They would've knocked much louder, more forcefully and shouted my name, middle of the night be damned. I figured it was Nagase or Cassie coming to check on me since they'd probably been the ones texting me. I hoped that if I ignored them, they'd assume I was asleep and leave me be. I didn't want to be around anyone right now. I wanted to wallow in my depression alone.

The knock sounded again, this time a little louder. For a second time, I ignored it, wishing whoever it was would go away. Couldn't they figure out I was either asleep or not wanting to be bothered?

Apparently not because rather than leaving, the person had the audacity to open my door just enough to slip inside. Their brazen action temporarily ignited a flame of fury in my chest, and I bolted up, fully intending on giving them a piece of my mind when I registered who stood in front of me. The person barely had time to brace themselves before I violently threw myself at them in a deathly tight hug.

"Chopper!" I exclaimed breathlessly as he stumbled slightly backwards from the impact of our bodies colliding. I embraced him like he was my only tether to reality, which, in a way, he was. "You're alive… you're alive…"

I could feel Chopper nod, his arms wrapping around my torso and keeping me pulled tightly against him. "I'm alive, Elizabeth. I'm okay."

"They wouldn't tell me anything," I whispered. "I thought the worst-"

My voice hitched. If possible, Chopper's grip on me tightened. "I know. It's why I came to see you. Nagase and Cassie said you weren't answering your phone, so I assumed you hadn't heard I was okay. I tried to convince the doctors to let me leave earlier, but they wouldn't let me."

Something about his words made me pull back just enough to look at him, our faces inches apart. "How are you out of sick bay already? Shouldn't you be in observation for at least twenty-four hours?"

"Yeah," Chopper replied, the corner of his mouth quirking upward into his signature cocky smile, "but I sweet-talked my way out."

"You should've stayed! What if something's wrong-"

"I'm fine."

"But what if-"

"Elizabeth, look at me," Chopper said, placing his hands comfortingly on my shoulders. "I'm okay. No amount of sweet-talking would've convinced them to let me out if I wasn't, okay? Besides, I had to come check on you."

"Why? I'm not the one who nearly died," I replied.

"Because you weren't answering my texts, or anyone's for that matter. And I know I wasn't responding during the freefall, but that doesn't mean I didn't hear you. I heard the panic in your voice, and I didn't- I didn't know what to say in what might've been my last moments." I dropped my gaze from his, not wanting him to see the tears rapidly filling my eyes. I'd held all my emotions at bay, mainly from shock and the belief crying over it would do nothing to help me, but Chopper's caring and gentleness was pushing me over the edge. "You know what happened isn't your fault, right?"

"Yes," I said, my voice barely audible.

"Elizabeth. Look at me."

I gave a small shake of my head. I couldn't. Not with the knot in my throat threatening to unravel and let loose a dam of unstoppable tears. I didn't want Chopper seeing me like that. I didn't want him to see that side of me. He'd already been through enough today. I should've been the one comforting him right now, not the other way around!

"Look at me," Chopper repeated, his hands moving up to cup my face. My cheeks heated up underneath his palms. Clenching my jaw with painful force, I obeyed his request, but when I saw him through my blurred vision, I realized my façade was revealed. Chopper brushed a few stray tears off my cheek, and then he leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"Listen to me," he said kindly yet firmly, "what happened was not your fault. You are not the reason Nike died. You are not the reason we had to eject. As tragic as it was, both you and I warned her that she was flying too closely to you. You weren't flying her plane and neither was I, so we couldn't control it. Do you understand?"

I nodded shakily, still unable to find my voice.

"We have audio proving we warned her. We have witnesses to it. So, I'm positive the investigation will result in your being relieved of any potential wrongdoing."

I sniffled and wiped my nose with my sleeve, stepping out of his embrace. I needed distance. Maybe then, I'd stop crying. I sat on the edge of my bed and pulled my sleeves over my fists, hanging my head to hide the tears that continued to fall against my wishes. "Not if Bailey can help it."

"You've beaten all her attempts to sabotage your career so far. You'll do it again. And if you're having trouble, I'll remind her entourage not to support her."

"What exactly did you say to them the last time you 'handled them'?"

"Greg cheated on his entrance exam, Brianna slept with Bailey's ex a week after the breakup, and Jemma is sleeping with Professor Baldwin."

My mouth fell open at the revelations. How did he know all this? Why hadn't he said anything to our superiors yet? Unless he was strictly holding onto the information for blackmail purposes? When I asked the first of my many questions, Chopper simply explained he'd overheard each of the individuals talking about it without them realizing he could hear them. I raised my eyebrows and asked, "What about Nick?"

Chopper shrugged. "He's just a wuss who's easy to intimidate. They better never give that guy confidential information because if he's captured, he'll break like glass."

"Be careful with that; otherwise, it'll be considered witness intimidation."

"Is it if he's not a witness?"

"Semantics."

"You listen to too much true crime."

"And you too little."

"Why should I when I hear about it all from you?" Chopper smiled cheekily, but it disappeared quickly. "Joking aside, I'm not going to let them bully you and spread misinformation about you. Whatever you need, I'm here."

"Thank you, Chopper." I placed my hand atop his thigh, allowing myself that little bit of contact. What I really wanted to do was kiss him senseless to show him just how terrified I'd been, to show just how much I loved him, but I couldn't. He was Genette's best friend and my best friend. I could risk either friendship.

"You going to be okay tonight?" Chopper inquired, placing his hand over mine.

No. "Yeah, I'll be okay. Get some rest and call me if you need anything. I'll see you tomorrow."

Chopper stood, and I escorted him to my door. He enveloped me in one more hug, and I prayed to God and even Razgriz that this would all blow over without resulting in the death of my aviation career.