Chapter Nine

A Promise is a Promise

Emma snuck through her window and found Manny sitting on her bed. She gasped in surprise as she hopped from the dryer to the floor. "Manny, what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Well for starters I live here," Emma answered as she tore off her shirt and bra and put on a purple tank top and traded her denim skirt in for some pajama pants not facing Manny. "You scared me."

"Likewise, so where did you go? I expected you here in your jammies and evidently you weren't. What gives?"

"I went out. It's not like we had plans."

"Where's out?"

"What are you, my mother?" Emma sarcastically murmured as she sat down on the edge of her bed beside Manny.

"Jesus Emma, what's been going on this summer? You've been pretty mums lately." Manny told her matter-of-factly as she looked at her friend's disheveled appearance. "Have you been drinking?"

"So what if I have been, Manny? And besides it won't be long before I turn nineteen and I have no tolerance."

"You're only sixteen, you have another like three or four years."

Emma made a face and sighed, "I just don't want you to judge me."

"I take it you talked to the boy at the pool?" Manny lightened up attempted to lighten Emma's mood.

"Negative," Emma answered her turning on the television and immediately lowering the volume because it was a little on the loud side.

"So there's somebody else?"

"Not really."

"Why are you so secretive? Is it like some skeeze at the ravine?"

Emma wasn't a great liar so she didn't say anything and simply tried to concentrate and Manny suddenly was worried, "Emma . . . please those guys are the bottom of the barrel and you know it! Each and every one of them. Don't tell me you're doing that shit with one of them. Do you want a reputation?"

"Manny you don't even know what you're talking about." Emma answered humoring the situation, "and besides it's not like I'm going to go falling in love with some ravine dweller and it's only one of them not all of them. Who do you think I am?"

"I did know what I was talking about last year when you got g -"

"I don't want to talk about it." Emma dismissed her, " just want to watch tv." In reality, she wished she could talk about what had happened that night to her best friend but she knew Manny was judging, "this is why I didn't want you to know, butt out I mean it."

Manny was hurt, they had no secrets as far as she knew and knowing Emma is possibly going off the rails again worried her especially because she felt guilty leaving her alone pretty much all summer long to go camping. She knows Emma's a big girl, but she's also been traumatized last semester from the shooting and it's been a cause for her to do some questionable things and this to Manny was no exception. "I'm having fun. I'm living my best life, I promise. It's nothing to be worried about. How am I going to know when my true love comes along what to do in the bedroom, Manny? Just wing it? Just shove my tongue down his throat because I'm a prude. I know what people said about me."

"Emma can you please tell me. I promise I won't judge. Who's the guy?"

"None of your business. You know what? Just go home if you're going to judge me and keep this between you and me."

"Fine Emma, you know what? Do what you want. Just don't come crying to me when you catch something." Manny said as she snuck out the bedroom through the window she came from. Emma turned off the tv and threw herself back onto the pillows. She heard and felt a vibration on her back, and grabbed her cellphone - it was Jay.

Tonight was interesting. What are you doing tomorrow night?

Emma thought for a moment and typed,

Was it now? I'm not doing anything.

Oh yeah. Let's change that. Hang with me at the ravine say 7?

Sure.

No backing out this time.

No backing out this time lol I said I was sorry didn't I?

Say you promise?

Okay, Jay, I promise.

Okay good, well it's almost 3. Get your beauty rest as if you need it.

What are you implying?

Just implying that you're beautiful, it's a compliment.

A smile played on Emma's lips, she couldn't really help it. Finally, she typed,

Goodnight, Jay

Goodnight g… He had started to type Greenpeace but instead, he typed out,

Goodnight, Emma

…

Jay cleaned up for once he was wearing a white collared shirt and he wasn't wearing his signature hat. He was standing against his car and no one was there yet. He was sober aside from a few drags of a blunt to take on the nerves. He suddenly wanted to make a good impression even though he knew her even intimately but he wanted her to see him as more than just ravine dweller who only wants to smoke party and hook up. He saw her differently and she wanted him to be seen as something more. Finally, it was seven and he saw Emma in the brush ahead it was almost picturesque to see her walking down from the light from his headlights, her golden hair brushed neatly wearing a little black dress with spaghetti straps and some black slip-on shoes.

As she got closer she noticed him too looking like a whole new guy. She squinted her eyes shielded her narrowed eyes from the light, "Jay?"

He advanced toward her and took her by the hand, "I have a surprise."

"Who are you and what have you done with Jay Hogart?"

"It's me, I'm here I swear," he answered and then added, "and Emma I need you to close your eyes."

Emma shook her head and hesitated before closing them, "I don't know, are you going to put a frog in my hands if I close them?"

"Why would I do that? It's not a prank. I'm just going to need you to trust me."

"Now that sounds like a prank to me."

"Whatever Emma, just follow me." He guided her to a picnic spread with all of the fixings in a basket over a blanket. Over the course of the previous few months with no help from friends like Manny, he put together all of Emma's favorites just from various conversations they had. He made her a veggie burger with ketchup because he knows she doesn't eat meat - that he will bravely try, sweet potato fries from scratch, potato salad his late mothers' recipe to drink sweet iced tea from a thermos and for dessert warm apple pie and vanilla ice cream he kept in a cooler. "Do you trust me now?"

Emma's jaw nearly dropped, he had more than surpassed her expectations from him. She couldn't help but smile, "Oh my Goodness." It was a lot, especially from Jay, "I don't know how I could thank you enough but, why?"

"No reason, just because I liked spending time with you this summer and you know why too."

"Oh no." She bit her lip, "you got the totally wrong idea about that."

"Oh no what? Last night was just . . . "

"It couldn't be that bad was it?"

"Jay I told you not to fall for me. I'm a mess."

"Could you at least sit down for just a minute?" Jay pleaded sitting down by his masterpiece of sorts.

"Jay . . I wish I could but . ."

"Please, Emma. I worked real hard to make this a special night for you. You deserve it."

She suddenly didn't know what to do. She felt overwhelmed with gratitude and flattering feelings. She knew that Jay was serious when he was drunk and she merely did what she did to shut him up, but there was a small part of her who had feelings too that she was always fighting and burying. Finally, she sat down. She was quiet. He simply just basked in the moment and took it for what it was.

"Why all the fanfare? It's just lil ole me. I'm just Emma Nelson environmental crusader extraordinaire nobody special. "

"I just wanted to do something special for you, you gave me something special something I've never been given before and not what you're thinking about last night which was pretty awesome and maybe like three months ago before this summer even started yeah I thought why not let's hang out and hoped it'd happen but now that it did it made me realize a lot of things. You know, I got you all wrong and maybe you're way out of my league but I just - you treat me like a good person, and being around you I feel good or like I could be good. A few weeks ago though sure you may be right I might be a terrible person and when I took advantage of you before last year I'm sure the last person you'd want to spend your summer with but you gave me a shot and I've never respected a girl as I respect you, you're everything I want. I haven't felt this way since Lexxi and honestly, I don't think I felt that way about her that I do about you. I don't know what I'm doing or saying anymore just please eat something because like I said I worked really hard and I know I'm talking too much again but I guess I talk out of my ass a lot when I'm nervous and you give me those mushy feelings I always try to push down." Emma furrowed her brow and just listened to him, she took one of the burgers from the foil and grabbed herself a paper plate from the basket as she listened to him.

She put the burger to her lips and asked him in a humored way, "Are you finished flattering me?"

He laughed, "Eat it you know you want to."

She took a bite and was pleasantly surprised, "How did you know I like it well done?"

"I listen to you, most girls I just check out their rack but you? I don't know why."

She felt this feeling in the pit of her stomach, as Jay took the other burger out of the basket and took a bite, that he was being real with her and she wasn't being entirely honest with him. They had quite a few candid conversations but she mostly kept him at an arm's length with a few exceptions. She finally decided to say something, "I've only felt that way once and then my heart was broken for a long time."

"I feel like I had a part in that."

She didn't confirm, she simply nodded in understanding suddenly feeling a bit tearful but looking upwards so she didn't let one fall, "I don't know if I'll ever feel that way again for anyone. Since then it's been hard. I mean I've dated there was Chris sure we liked each other but we -"

"Weren't in love?"

"Right." She told him, as she took a sweet potato fry and took a piece off and put it in her mouth without thinking. Finally, after she swallowed she smiled, "I know it's like wishful thinking because last year I thought maybe just maybe I'm better off alone after what happened to me and the only one who'd really understood me and walked a mile in my shoes is miles away from me. I wouldn't be sitting here right now if not for him and it feels so wrong sitting here with you of all people but at the same time right."

They continued eating fries as Emma continued, "Jay we can't go there even if you do make bangin' cheesetastic veggieburgers and amazing sweet potato fries."

"Why not?"

"Because I said so."

"You don't like being out of control, do you?"

She thought for a moment and then answered, "I hate it. I hate not knowing what happens."

"You're afraid."

"Of you?" She questioned and scoffed, "no freakin' way."

"No I mean like you're afraid of the unknown. You're one of those people I've noticed who likes order and craves knowing everything there is to know and you fall apart when things don't really go your way and resort to your worst qualities. You're rigid in your thinking you're either with someone or you're without them very black and white and you're driven, passionate about what you love but sometimes there's this dramatic irony with you where you don't even know you want something or someone. You don't trust so easily because the first time you led with your heart it ended in heartbreak and you're still holding on to it because you don't know any better not to. I know you. I'm good at reading people. You always see the good in people, but you seem to already have your mind made up about me. You like me but I remind you too much of your past, but somehow you're drawn to me and you don't know why. You're afraid I'd hurt you and I really don't want to do that but you also don't want to hurt yourself by we're a long shot but deep down I know I'm not alone in this."

"That sounds nothing like me."

"Sure, whatever you say but you should know I fought this too. When we first met each other I thought you were this stuck up prissy know it all who people disliked because you had a big mouth and had strong convictions and then you became a conquest because for some reason I felt like it at that time and I knew you were feeling low and that's what old Jay did and now I know you the real you after all of it and my first impression of you is completely different from what I see in you now. Sure I was right about you having strong convictions, but everything else dead wrong. I don't know why you masquerade as this goodie-goodie two shoes when you're not that girl anymore or never really was. You're strong, you make Alex look weak. You can be bad. You can be cold. You can be warm. No one will ever pidgeonhole you least of all me. This isn't a game to me anymore and I told you before I don't like being messed with you're in or you're out."

Emma was uncomfortable and dusted off the fallen leaves from her legs and stepped off from the carpet inching backward, "I guess I'm out. You're being really weird tonight. This was supposed to be casual. This was supposed to be fun! We're friends and that's all we'd ever be with the added benefit of hooking up sometimes when the mood strikes but I'm not who you think I am and you're not Mr. Clean Cut you're Jay Hogart who likes to mess with people and kick 'em while they're down and everything's a joke to you. You're being so fake you don't have to front with me I already knew what I was getting into. Goodbye, call me when you want to do whatever! For now, I'm out. And maybe I am smart because only an idiot knows a tiger never changes their stripes." Emma shook her head with disgust and left him alone and to make matters worse when he went in his car to start it up it had died.

Jay decided to take the bottle of Bacardi from the back seat of his car and take a swig before he cleaned up the picnic spread after kicking over the basket causing the now melted icecream to spill out onto the blanket. He rolled it carelessly into a ball and threw it in his trunk and slammed it shut before the rest of the party arrived. He was angry but hurt. He took another swig from the bottle and wiped his eyes.

As Emma walked up the hill so many times she wanted to look back but she kept staring blankly ahead. A part of her felt guilty, he wasn't all wrong. She just couldn't let herself go there with him. She couldn't let herself fall for him, perhaps Manny was right and she fed into that. She'd never been surprised by a guy and she basically threw it all in his face. She decided that maybe it's best that things end before someone gets hurt but she didn't want to be the one who was burned even though a part of her wanted to feed into those feelings. She decided to go home but first, she decided to meet Manny for coffee at The Dot after sending her an apology text.

The next day they went to the pool after a sleepover and Manny and Emma walked by Peter and she watched him walk by while the turquoise tankini tramp as she so affectionately calls her licks a chocolate ice cream cone with sprinkles beside him. Manny followed Emma's gaze and finally whispered, "Is that him?" Peter saw Emma and smirked before turning his attention back to the girl he was hanging out with and Manny finally pushed Emma into Peter in order to get them to talk. The girl in the tankini got icecream all over her turquoise swimsuit and ran off in a panic as she cold ice cream melted.

Emma was embarrassed she managed to say, "Hi I'm so clumsy I should really watch where I was going."

Manny asked Peter, "Is that your girl you better go help her out?" as Emma hid behind her and tried exiting the conversation, Peter smirked and said, "Nah, she's just a friend. Your name is Clumsy?"

"It's actually Emma."

"Actually Emma I'm having a party tonight you girls should come."

"And she wouldn't mind?" Manny quipped as Emma just looked at him.

"More the merrier." Peter nonchalantly answered and swiftly took Emma's hand and took a pen out of his pocket and wrote on her hand, "Just don't get wet today here's the address."

Emma was mildly dying as he walked away unable to observe her face she was grinning from ear to ear. "We just got invited to a party hosted by Peter oh my God!"

"I know, thank me at any time."

"Thank you thank you thank you, bestest friend in the world we have to find something awesome to wear."

Manny took her phone out and saw an urgent text from her parents, "I actually have to jet my rents want to have dinner but I'm sure you'll find something slammin'. I'm coming tonight don't worry I'll meet you there."

"Yes!" Emma cheered as they both left the pool and went to the respective homes.