Chapter 12
The Next Moment
The next morning Manny sneaks out of Peter's unseen erm well aside from Peter's maid who said she could keep a secret. She was vacuuming the foyer and preparing for the day when she spotted her. She didn't speak good English but she knew just by looking at Manny the truth Manny waved to her for some reason and exited the house carefully and quietly.
It sounded cryptic to her.
The more she thought of the weird exchange It clearly wasn't the first time this had happened but Peter was new in town but that didn't mean he didn't have a past and so did she. She also knew and assumed that Emma liked him so she felt guilty if it was him but being the last guy she remembers talking to it had to be Peter.
She just knew that two things are for sure, it would never happen again or should never happen again.
She knew how Emma felt about him all summer of pining but she didn't care she'd take it to the grave. Manny didn't notice her picture pinned to the wall but she just wanted to get the hell out of there unseen before the mystery blonde guy woke up. She didn't want to make awkward small talk.
Manny does walk of shame and sees Sean leaving the dot with coffee and talks to him and finds out he's officially returning to town. "Sean Cameron, is that you?"
They have coffee together and catch up on the deck with it being nice outside. Sean asks him, "So how has Emma really been? She was pretty mum last night."
"Oh, you saw her at the party?" Manny furrowed her brow.
Manny shrugs him off, "Honestly I'm not really sure what's going on with her. I truthfully hadn't seen her most of summer and last night something sort of came up and said she was at the party and Manny felt some sort of relief but the but was that she was kind of on edge. The other night we had a stupid fight over something really dumb I - nevermind it's stupid. We're fine though, she's fine. How have you been Sean?"
"Good," He told her, finally taking a sip of his coffee.
Manny kept tight-lipped about the hook up at the ravine she knows about but not the guy's name as if she's embarrassed or knows her friend would disapprove and Manny knew that it's none of his business and was hoping to apologize to Emma for the night before.
Sean casually asks, "So is she seeing anyone?"
"What about Ellie?"
"We're through and have been for months. I did see her like the other day to return some of her things and she returned some boxes to me."
"I guess long distance didn't work."
"Yeah." Sean told her, "she doesn't have a car so it made it harder."
"What about you?" He gestured to her disheveled ensemble. Like Emma he left the party early too so didn't see Manny arrive or see her period; but knew she was coming home from somewhere. "So who is he?"
"Doesn't matter." In reality she really doesn't remember. She saw blond hair beside her but the blankets covered his face when she awoke. "Look it's been nice seeing you, I guess I'll see you in September assuming you're coming back to school."
"Yeah! See you around Manny." Sean told her before she left, alone.
Manny texts Emma, I didn't know you came to the party. I got there late. I have so much to tell you. I wish you stayed. Maybe we can go to lunch? I'm starving, just going to stop home.
Emma just texted back somewhat annoyed that Manny was acting like nothing happened and even she was over their spat too, yeah, went home early. lunch at the dot sounds good text me later.
Emma is so over Peter. She no longer has feelings now that she's met him and spent some time with him but still has feelings for Sean that would probably never change and worries she'd have to make a choice but for now she's only having fun. Emma is sort of realizing she might have feelings for Jay but she's not quite sure yet she was grateful that he took care of her and even made her breakfast, no boyfriend had ever made her breakfast before. Jay isn't even her boyfriend and he did.
Manny arrives at the apartment prepared to hear her parents complain but she is greeted by the landlord. Manny is told by her parents landlord she no longer lives here when she sees her stuff was outside the door of her parents apartment and the locks had been changed. Manny grabs her stuff which was in a few large duffles she saddled on her shoulders and a huge rolling luggage bag.
She sneaks through Emma's window and wakes her up. "Going on vacation?" Emma jokes when she comes in.
"Something like that." Manny muttered less than enthused. She and Emma said in unison, "I'm sorry."
They both laughed at the fact they said it at the same time.
Emma wasn't really mad and apologized for being a bitch the other night and being distant and quiet in the morning. Manny apologized for asking so many questions and they made up.
Manny had brought Emma a croissant from The Dot and Emma picked it apart as they talked, whispering, "Peace offering?"
Emma told her, "I dodged a bullet I think Manny, ugh that Peter guy is such a tool" she tells her, shaking her head, "not my type."
Manny felt a knot in her stomach when some of her memory came back that she and Peter had met and she didn't have much memory between the countless shots of various alcohol in those long islands she kept knocking back as if they were water. Manny got her a water bottle from the mini fridge of her basement bedroom and an ibuprofen.
Emma noticed Manny had been crying, noticing her raccoon eyeliner and her disheveled appearance but no more disheveled than her but maybe less so. She gave her friend a face wipe from her vanity and a tissue before flopping back on her bed. She asked her with concern, "Have you been crying? Is everything okay?"
"It's my parents."
"Bad fight?" She knew Manny and her parents were rarely on the same page, mainly Joseph and his temper.
She nodded, "Not just a fight, the fight - so i didn't know where else to go so I went to the stupid party like this." modeling jean skirt and a Hollister tee looking quite casual, her clothes were now wrinkled. "I had just enough for a cab and this," she lifted her bag, "and a coffee. Where were you last night?"
Emma changed the subject back to Manny, "Well you are welcome to stay with me." Emma remembered that Spike had offered it to her many countless times when things were bad with her mom a few years ago but then again it was during the time. "How long do you think till they cool off?" assuming it'd be a few days. "Don't they believe in grounding?"
Manny was somewhat humored by Emma's light attempt to calm her down, but Manny was feeling some clear guilt from how she managed the night before. "We said a lot of stuff, stuff that hurt so how's forever for you? I don't know if I could manage." Manny looked at Emma rather seriously, "they changed the locks everything from my bedroom in luggage. It's serious. I've been disowned."
"Oh my god. This is bad."
"You're telling me."
"I just don't understand but why? What is it this time? Did he manage to find out from your mom, you know?"
Manny knew what she was talking about and gasped, shaking her head no, "Oh god no, he'd be sending me back to the Philippines in some convent somewhere. It's probably worse than what happened here for keeping that a secret and for even doing that and you know what I'm talking about. My mom knows better, that's between her and I despite how angry she is with me for upsetting my father." She sighed, "and I'll never get to go to camp again. I know it's silly but I loved that place."
"What is it though? Why is he so angry?"
"Acting."
"That's it? Why don't you just -"
"Acting is my dream and he forbade it, so basically this is it." Manny held up the envelope like it was baby Simba in The Lion King, "This is my fate. In this envelope is my debit card and a letter. My mom kept it under lock and key and was so weird about how much I spent to teach me how to like the budget and all. I'm so afraid to read because I have a feeling it's what I think it'll say and in that debit card that's all the money I've ever made a-and - they're cutting me off most likely for good."
"We don't have to read it right away."
"I don't want to ever read it honestly. I know it's bad. Emma, life is just going to get worse from here." Manny's lips quivered and she was on the verge of tears.
"You have me and it'll be okay. I'm here." Manny started to cry and collapsed onto Emma's bed and Emma pulled her into a hug, as Manny sobbed Emma softly told her, "It's okay, we'll talk to my parents when they get up."
Emma realized now within the hug that Manny is living full time with her, it'll be even more difficult to see Jay. Manny has no idea just how awful things were going to be in the future, it's all downhill from here.
Manny decided to not mention Sean and assumed Emma didn't know about him returning. She knew that Emma was likely not in the state to hear anything regarding him.
xxx
That night it was late about eleven Manny was sound asleep on the spare bed sprawled out cold. Emma quietly and quickly changed her clothes from her PJ's and decided to take a walk to the ravine and see Jay and she couldn't wait to see him by sneaking out her bedroom knew she had to make the visit quick and be home at a somewhat decent hour but she wanted to at least make an appearance. Before she left she grabbed a bottle of vodka she swiped from her parents liquor cabinet from under the bed from earlier while they were discussing ground rules with Manny.
Emma tried not to make a sound as she turned the latch on the window and crawled on out from on top of the washer machine. She thought Manny would never go to sleep. Earlier she wanted to watch a movie and then she passed out. When she arrived at Bennett the party was in full swing. She loved spending time with Manny but her moving in was going to be a challenge. She wasn't used to permanently sharing her space and losing her freedom to do as she pleases no matter the risk.
Jay was sitting with a guy on the picnic bench and passing a joint back to him. When he saw Emma he offered her a smile. She smiled back and advanced forward to meet him, his friend walked off after passing it back to him knowing full well that once Emma finally arrived Jay only had eyes for her, even if Emma couldn't see it or chose to ignore it. "Better late than never huh?"
"I told you, I have news."
He patiently waited for her to tell him, "C'mon what it is?"
"Well for starters, aside from the fact you got to be careful with your hickey placement I got a new roomie, Manny."
"That explains why you're late."
"I'm not exactly sure how this is going to work, I had to sneak out not only from my parents but from Manny too and she sleeps like three feet from the bed so it was quite the challenge."
Jay was humored that she went great lengths to see him, and he wondered about the logitists and however illogical maybe she was thawing her icy exterior for him in a way. He didn't tease her about it, he did tease her about the big bottle of vodka, "I guess it's a party now that you brought something to drink."
"Yeah, so want to open it?" Emma passed it to him and sat beside him. She smelled really good like honey and vanilla but again he saved his comments and kept them to himself. He was somehow careful around her and more mindful now about Emma's temperamental nature. He passed her the joint he had been smoking and she smoked it.
Jay reached behind him and grabbed two red solo cups and poured them some of the liquor and mixed it with some Sunkist orange soda from the cooler. Emma traded the joint for the drink and took a sip, "You should be a bartender this tastes amazing."
"Well maybe I've found my true calling, but I'll stick to my day job."
"What do you even do besides get stoned and drink with me? We hang out almost everyday."
They continued to pass the joint back and forth until it was withered away and Jay put it out and threw it on the ground which didn't take long.
"Well that isn't all I do, I am looking into vocational trading to become a mechanic. I figure you'll be back at degrassi in the fall and I need a day job."
"How's that going?"
"Huh?"
"I mean how is that going? I know you've always been into cars but I thought you just apply and they call you and then you begin working or is it like an apprenticeship kind of deal?"
"I got to enter a program for it. I didn't graduate yet so I don't have a diploma, that's the snag. I gotta get my GED first apparently, but I honestly need help." Jay told her before taking a sip of the drink and decided it wasn't strong enough so he added more vodka and tested it before being fine with it, "I wish I paid more attention in school because now this is going to be my career or I hope it to be. I mean shop class I was golden but anything else I'd pay off the nerds to write my papers or whatever so I wouldn't take their lunch money."
'You bullied and extorted to get through school? I believe it." Emma was humored but also wanted to see him succeed for some reason. She knew she could help as the stepdaughter of a teacher she blurted out without thinking, "I can help you study. He widened his eyes as she added, "it's the least I could do for you taking care of my drunk ass last night."
Before long they were both feeling good and they escaped to the van for some late-night fooling around and then some. After they were done and catching their breath they were lying beside each other and he traced his fingers lightly on her skin and uncovered stomach, she tensed up attempting to hide her laughter and stopped him, "Don't do that."
"Ticklish are you?" She couldn't lie, her face turned pink and she nodded her head, yes, and he then apologized, "sorry I won't do it again unless you want me to."
"Why are you apologizing?" Emma got up clutching her shirt and putting it over her head.
He shrugged his shoulders and told her uncomfortably, "I know we've done a lot of stuff and sometimes I can cross lines and I don't want to cross lines."
"It's a bit late for that."
"I just want to make sure I'm not blurring any boundaries."
"That's fair." She awkwardly stated, "you're right though. We've done a lot of stuff but I feel awkward talking about it."
"I can tell, you're cute when you're embarrassed."
She looked down avoiding his gaze and closed her eyes beaming, she looked back up at him, "Not all the time?"
"No, you're pretty all the time but you're extra cute sometimes."
She makes him feel weak now. She simply just said, "Aw, do you say that to all the girls?" It stung him a bit. He went from irrationally hating the girl, to not feeling anything for her and wanting to use her like prey and then to finding himself unable to get her off his mind and having no way to shake the feelings he has now. "What time you got to go home?"
"Two at the latest."
Jay looked at his watch and told her, "It is about quarter after one."
"Fuck," Emma ran her hands through her sweat matted hair. "How's it look?"
"Beautiful." He told her sarcastically, "the freshly fucked look it looks good on you." Emma rolled her eyes, "look at me rubbing off on you. I've never heard you curse. It's kind of funny." She flipped him off in a joking sort of way and he laughed. Jay got a bit serious, "I wish you could stay here."
"Here? In this van?"
"Why not?" He didn't care where as long as he was in her presence.
"You're joking."
"Fine, we don't have to stay here. We can go to my place. No pressure though."
"I know but I can't, wish I could."
"We can cuddle."
"I'll pass." Emma declined flatly.
"C'mon, I'm really good at it."
"It leads to other things."
"We already crossed that bridge so why not?" Jay sighed, and then he told her, "why do you really want to go home?"
"It didn't come up but Manny's having some problems with her family and she's staying with us now as I said earlier. She'd kill me if she woke up and I wasn't there in the morning and she'd probably tell my parents."
"What happened?"
"Well between you and me her dad has the worst temper and he basically disowned her for what she wants to do after high school."
"Well text me whenever you get home I guess."
"I will." Emma told him as she sat up and he pulled her closer and gave her a kiss before bidding her goodbye. He watched her go as always and usually he noticed she doesn't turn around before leaving but this time she did and even better she smiled at him knowing he wasn't far.
Amy stumbled over to the van, and told him, "So you and Emma Nelson."
"What is it to you?"
"You love her."
"Why do you care?"
"You didn't deny it and look at her like you used to look at Lexxi." Amy told him teasingly, "look at you, you've gone soft."
Jay didn't say anything, and what could he say? She called his bluff. Amy and Jay had been friends for years but he resents her after he and Alex split up. He took it hard.
He knew everything she said was true, "I know she'll never reciprocate or understand how you feel, she's just not that kind of girl. Her heart will always belong to someone else. You're just a plaything, take it from someone who knows. You're a dirty secret to her, a guilty pleasure."
Jay was fed up with hearing her play her manipulative mind games. Amy can be really a mean drunk especially when she drinks whiskey. She has a reputation and it precedes her to get super vindictive for no reason. She wasn't full of shit, and it did knock him down a few pegs as he tried to take her words with a grain of salt. He cut her off quickly, "Mind your fucking business, Amy. I don't want to talk to you. She is nothing like you so go with Mark and keep the hell away from me, you're disgusting."
"I'm disgusting?" She threw her head back and cackled which annoyed him even more, "Ain't that the pot calling the kettle black?" She turned to Mark, Come on Mark, let's go fool around," Amy smirked with delight knowing she got to him and didn't say any more. She took Mark by the hand and found her way with her man of the evening to the van that was once vacated by Emma and Jay, leaving him alone.
Jay realized it had been a while since he had a cigarette so he pulled his pack out of his black dickies with the lighter leaning against the van until it began to rock and then he made his way to his usual picnic table to watch the fire as the party started to die down. Jay felt a vibration in his pants pocket and it was his phone. With his spare hand, he picked it up and saw a text from Emma.
2nite was nice. jus got home safe.
Jay typed back,
Yeah it was and good
Emma continued texting him,
i'm all cozy
And then seconds later he saw there was a picture of her in her dimly lit bedroom wearing a black cami that hugged her in all the right places holding her sock monkey doll.
Jay texted her back, and typed:
U r so cute. (= take more i'm omw home
For some reason, it made her giddy and he complimented her. He never does that. She couldn't wipe the smile off her face. She held the phone to her chest and quietly did a small dance in her bed. Somehow she lives in a universe where Jay Hogart not only gave her the time of day but she felt desired and wanted by him. It wasn't a game anymore even though she was finding it more and more alluring every time she'd try to hold back. It wasn't really as lusty as it was but she was attracted and not so terrified. She trusted him and he trusted her but she still couldn't bear to tell a soul.
He was falling for her and she was possibly, despite her reservations falling for him. Emma stayed up another hour going back and forth texting him and he got changed out of his fire-scented clothing and decided to send her a picture without a shirt in bed showing off his biceps and toned body. Emma was so attracted.
He texted:
wish you were here, ur so beautiful take another pls
Emma thought for a moment looking at her shirt and dismissed it.
She never took a nude before but she wasn't about to start now. She then decided to leave him wanting more. She was exhausted from the past few days. She texted:
as much as I'd like to, i'm exhausted. can we raincheck?
He texted back:
:(
fine but you owe me lol
i mean it when i say wish you were here, i could seriously kiss u all night among other things (;
Emma bit her lip with anticipation.
She quickly typed a response as she plugged her phone in with her spare hand, she still wasn't believing what she was reading even if it was staring her in the face. She hesitated and closed her eyes with suspense as she hit the send button. It was starting to get Emma a bit hot and bothered.
i promise i'll deliver (; i wish that too but we wouldn't be getting any sleep if you catch my drift
goodnight jayson
He yawned ready to hit the hay himself and then noticed he got another text from Emma. He quickly texted back:
I'll hold you to your word
good night em *sending kisses thru the phone*
Emma texted back tiredly:
xo
Simultaneously in their own rooms, they both laid down with their heads upon their pillows and shut out the lights looking forward to the next text, the next impromptu party, the next kiss, the next hookup, and lastly the next moment where they lay eyes on another once again. Just being in each others presence life doesn't sound so bad or as complicated as they make it out to be.
Deep down, Jay didn't want things to be so complicated. He wished Emma felt the same. It wasn't a game for Jay anymore. He wanted Emma to himself; he wanted to do everything on earth with her. He wanted to shower her with presents, he wanted to take her places, he wanted the world to know she was his, he wanted to even ink himself with her name and spill his guts. He'd never felt that sort of passionate way for anyone, not even Alex.
Jay was no longer concerned with hooking up with no commitments, no strings, he wanted more. He was tired of his old schtick and he wanted so much more. He knew it was wrong that he was wrong but he couldn't really stop or control it. Each day the feeling just consumes him. He wasn't sure what she said, what she did to make him begin to feel this way. just lied awake and whispered to himself, he broke the rules of engagement he had realized that Emma set.
He was falling for her for real. He knew he was in big trouble.