Chapter 29
Miracle
"It's rare but it happens to some patients with severe head trauma to suffer memory loss but they sort of lose their sense of reality. She told us it's 2005. She knows who the president is - granted I don't know who Ashley or Liberty is but she is alive and well."
"She thinks she's like 13 and 14 years old, doctor." Spike explained more thoroughly and quietly, "is it permanent?"
"She seemed foggy waking up but that could also most patients feel foggy. What gives you that impression? It likely won't be permanent. She'll need to stay to be evaluated more."
Snake stepped forward with concern, "She didn't know that I'm her step-father. I married her mother when she was thirteen." Snake sadly stated, "Her friends are worried in the hall they also noticed some abnormal things about their visit."
"I know you must think I have the answer but I truly don't know yet it's still early and I have yet to evaluate her just yet, we need to keep her here for further analysis but my hope would be no and hope it isn't permanent. Make sure you visit frequently and don't encourage her delusional state, correct her if you must be gentle with this. If she has friends encourage them to come to see her in the coming days perhaps her memory will return."
Jay could see them tense in the hallway and he hadn't seen Emma yet nor does he know the prognosis. He sensed something bad happened or they just don't feel like he's the best person to see her right now and he really doesn't understand. He was pacing about waiting and hoping for his turn to see her, he had to see her. He felt horrible for the way he treated her before she lost her memories unbeknownst to him. He finally sat down as he saw Manny emerging from the room in tears talking to Sean who consoled her with a hug, "We'll wait for Spike and Snake to see what happens next."
Jay lifted his head and faced them as he offered an uncomfortable smirk, "Is it my turn to see her yet? Being last is kind of shitty but you now -" Jay then started to backtrack his words as he saw Sean and Manny exchanged uncomfortable looks, "let me guess she doesn't want to see me and I'm not really honestly surprised."
"It's nothing like that," Manny avoided his eyes wiping tears from her own, she took a deep breath and murmured a query to Sean, "should we tell him?"
Sean hesitated to cause Jay to lament out loud, "I'm right here guys. I'm a big boy and I can handle it." He was severely unable to cope with not knowing and he wanted to know what the big secret was. The suspense was killing him but nothing could really prepare him or even know in his wildest dreams what her prognosis is. "She's not dying is she?"
"She doesn't remember you," Manny sadly confessed. Jay looked like someone punched him in the stomach or killed a puppy, Manny reiterated, "She doesn't remember a thing in the past I don't know how many years, or anything really big in her life. She's pretty fragile mentally. I don't know how else to explain. She's like youthful."
"What do you mean? I just talked to her less than three hours ago. I know it was a bad ending but we talked. I don't follow."
Sean reiterated, "I don't really understand either. She literally thinks she's young again like she's forgotten about the shooting, our entire second relationship, her fallouts with Manny, everything that's happened within the past three years have been all but erased from her memory. I tried to listen and be patient with her and rebuff her advances which were really freakin' hard but man, she's gone. I mean she looks like Emma, she talks in the same voice but a whole nother tone but she's a different kind of messed up, man. She's not the same girl."
"I mean she's still Emma guys. She's still here, and most importantly alive don't be so dramatic, Sean, you're scaring him. We gotta be there for her, regardless." Manny sighed, "we can't abandon her now. She's going to need us."
Jay wasn't sure whether to be angry or cry, of course, he chose anger but deep down he just wanted to dig himself into a hole and cry, "Yeah," he sniffled wiping his nose with his sleeve downcast, " maybe she'll need you guys. Afterall she always loved you best, Sean."
"Ouch?" Sean questioned as Jay started to walk away toward the door when Sean softly tugged at his shoulder advancing forward in a sense of urgency, "man you can't walk out like this. Maybe you might jog her memory I don't know or something. I'm grasping at straws here but you can't leave her now. Don't you love her?"
"You know I do," Jay wasn't facing them and he had that tearful sound in his voice. He was hurt and while he knew he didn't deserve much he knew he didn't deserve that, he wiped his tears on his black jacket and then turned around, "Fuck it. I'll stay for her. Manny, will you come in with me?"
"Of course." Manny grimaced. Jay was more terrified than he let on. That was when they were met with Spike and Snake who looked shell shocked watching her from a window in her hospital bed not knowing what any ruckus was about. Manny had a feeling they were going to tell Jay he couldn't see her and that's when Manny stood up on his behalf, "Hey um is it okay if he sees her now? I know it's not the best time but Jay hasn't seen her yet and he would really like to make things right with her even in her current state, okay?"
"Okay, that's fine. Maybe he can somehow try to jog her memory or something," Spike blinked back tears as she was holding onto Snake's hand, she saw Manny beside him, "but why don't you stay behind, Manny?"
Jay uncomfortably looked at Manny and then he pressed on toward the door, he had a million things he wanted to say to Emma and it was best he went at it alone. He disappeared down the hall as he reached Emma's room. She was sitting up on the bed braiding her long hair. Her whole demeanor was all off. She seemed almost childlike and off as they said. Suddenly she gasped when she saw Jay and put down her hair and combed it back with her hand, "You there! Come in, I want to talk to you."
He hesitated with confusion as he stood in the doorway and she continued, "You were at the ambulance when they took me here, I want to thank you for staying with me. I was so scared." She had never seen him before at least to her memory. She couldn't stop talking. She had never seen someone she had thought was good looking, who was he? She swore he was like a guardian angel or someone unreal that is walking the earth to help her. Maybe it was him and not Sean the person she should be attentive to or maybe he's here to tell her what the world would be like without her and warn her. Either way, she thought if she kept talking something would happen and he'd give her some comfort in this time of confusion.
Jay didn't say anything but he walked closer and sat at the chair beside her bed as she continued babbling on about the warmth of the white lights and the cool feeling of the stretcher on her and it became a lot, maybe too much. He noticed she was still wearing the bracelet on her good wrist, how she even all bandaged up and battered she looked beautiful. She warmly smiled at him, "So what is your name?"
"I'm Jay."
"Jay," she beamed, cocking her head to the side. She couldn't help but notice the sadness in his bloodshot eyes it was clear he had been crying or stressed she could sense that tension in his energy, "you look so sad, you know you should be happy."
Jay sighed, "Why should I be? I love a girl and she doesn't even - forget it." He covered his head with his hands, "forget it you wouldn't understand."
She babbled on and he simply just listened, "You know I'm very understanding, but nevertheless you should be happy right now, you kind of saved my life, you're a good samaritan."
He shook his head, "I may be a lot of things, but good is not one of them."
"Thank you so much for what you did for me, I don't remember much and I always had a good memory but I've seen you before maybe."
"Maybe," He put on a brave face and took a deep breath, "I've been around town, sure. We go to the same high school, so probably."
"High school? Psh, I'm in grade 8, that's next year. Stupid question but, do you drive an orange civic? I keep having these recurring dreams or flashes about someone who looks like you. Have we met before?"
Jay paused narrowing his eyes, "We crossed paths. I do drive a civic. Nice to know I'm in someone's dreams."
"Do you mind if I say you're very handsome?" He didn't say anything and she decided to change the subject with a humble little laugh, "So Jay who drives a civic" she leaned on her hand and inched closer, "what else do you know?"
"What do you mean?"
"Everyone tells me I'm wrong. I mean my crush like an ex-crush kind of thing he thinks I'm crazy. It is super-duper complicated. Let's just not even talk about that, I mean honestly. I don't understand and my best friend keeps correcting me." She wasn't sure why she couldn't get a read on Jay or him to crack a smile, she thought maybe she was talking too much, "I'm sorry to dump all of this on you, I just want to know more about who I used to be before my accident. I know I had an accident the doctors told me."
"They are scared. Just know though they care about you and I care too."
"You say you don't know me, why do you care? What are they scared of? Scared of what? Of me?" He nodded, "Why? I'm so not scary I just want answers and you seem impartial."
"I guess there's reasons to think I'm impartial, third-party deal. There's a lot if I were you I'd like to forget too."
"Like regrets? How old are you even?"
"Seventeen."
"Much too young for regrets."
"You don't have any?" Jay asked her with a furrowed brow, "not even one?"
Emma thought for a moment and sighed, "Jordan," she made a face, "I had no business emailing someone I hardly knew."
"Who?"
"Forget it. What about you? You brought up regrets or things you'd like to forget? What are some of your skeletons?"
"Sort of regrets? I have a few. Except I don't regret any time I spent with you. Sure I'd change some of the details at least it was all with you. If I had the chance I'd fix it all. God just made it a little fucking difficult when the one you love doesn't know you."
"I don't understand but I hope someday I might," she smiled weakly before yawning weakly, "I was told so many things, conflicting things but I still dream of things I don't understand. A boy in a hallway covered in yellow paint and feathers and me on the other side of the gun, I still dream about love and how sorry I am for being so rotten to Sean this year. I know he really liked me so I was really unnecessary to him and I wish I knew everything. I don't know how to feel, I mean last year was so easy, next year will probably be tougher."
"I hear you, as the years go on they get tougher for sure. So you really wish you knew everything?"
She sounded desperate but she was being honest, "More than anything."
"Trust me you really don't want to know." Jay shook his head still in disbelief this is the current situation, "It'd corrupt you, change you, hurt you and I don't want to do any of that to you if I haven't already."
She harrumphed and crossed her arms dramatically, "Don't tell me what to want, I mean you said you're bad right?"
"And?"
"Bend the rules for me, please? I need to know what's going on in my own life! You want to know what I think right? He's pushing me away and it's kind of my own fault for being so forgetful but I honest to god have no idea why he's so ugh. I don't even care about what happened back then, I just don't understand anything anymore. Sean scared me when he fought Jimmy that's why we stopped dating and now I thought I had things figured out, but maybe you can help."
Jay was adamant about not telling her things that would only end up upsetting her in the future, but not telling her the truth was weighing on him, "I'm telling you Emma it's for your own good. It's best you don't know it all. Let it go, it's the past, it can't hurt you if you don't know about it."
She was humored by this, "It's a little late for that and it makes it all the more intriguing, I am arguably a know it all, I can be booksmart and I'm an expert level eavesdropper." Emma smirked trying to flirt subtly to get what she wanted, "I can be very convincing. I can cry on cue."
"I'm sure. Look, Emma, I can't give you all the answers, I think they're just trying to protect you. Has it occurred to you that you endured a lot of shit that could potentially warp your life?"
"Who are they you speak of?"
"Manny and Sean, they care about you. Manny's been your best friend, you're her rock even though a lot has happened to you. Sean still cares about you but he's just confused by you right now. That's the truth and besides, I didn't know you well enough back then I wouldn't be the best person for the job."
"I'm asking you for a reason."
"I'll tell you some stuff but you should really try with Manny or Sean to get the whole truth. You had an environmental club, you were pretty much a prude princess and I was well quite frankly the male version of a slut; obsessed with my car and my ex or whatever that may be. My thoughts were simple. I was ruled by my primal urges and shit. We weren't friends, we didn't hang out at least not till last summer. Before, we were in different circles. I used to steal shit to get a rise out of my dad because I became somewhat invisible after mom died. 2003 was a long ass fucking time ago a time I really don't feel like revisiting or going over."
"Why do you speak in the past tense? Jay with all due respect, 2003 is happening right now. Could you tell me, I'll even pay you and I'll keep it all between you and me like a secret?"
"You drive a hard bargain. I love secrets and schemes but I ain't budging."
"C'mon Jay, I just need to know who you are to me and maybe it'll jog my memory."
"You sure?"
"I can handle anything. I cheated death once with Jordan. A secret is a secret and a promise is a promise." She put her hand out for him to shake.
"How can you be so sure? Once I tell you I can't take it all back."
The way she said secret brought back memories to Jay when they were just that, a secret. "Please, Jay."
"Alright fine, since you said please. Before you ask how much - it's on the house. You don't need to pay me. I'm more than willing to tell you everything I know about you with no judgment, no lies, all truth no matter how much it hurts me, I want you to know once I tell you everything there's no going back from this. Oh yeah and one other thing?"
"Name it?"
"This stays between us."
"I told you it'd be our secret. Why so serious?" Emma's smile sort of faded and her brow furrowed, "why would it hurt you?"
"You'll see."
"We have to start at the beginning, not as far back as maybe Sean knows and I don't know what they told you, but I met you in 2003. Which was a long fucking time ago."
"But -" Emma protested, "how did we meet?"
"I'll get to that."
"You were in a relationship with Sean but like he wasn't happy with you. Sean was a lot of things back then he dressed like Eminem assuming you know who he is. Your dad, Mr. Simpson was apparently really sick with cancer so like I being the jerk I was made things even more difficult for my own twisted reasons. I have a flair for the dramatics. I didn't really jive with Sean's so-called friends including you, or should I say especially you. You were this influence on him, a good influence. I used to bully and tease you and your friends and I helped put your already damaged relationship in jeopardy. Of course, Sean being who I know him to be didn't tell you he was unhappy. Anyhow, we hashed out our shit because I got him in trouble. I took Sean under my wing or maybe he just fell in with me. I can't remember the details but we became buds and you sorta fell by the wayside. We stole his laptop and some other tech from the school to make my whip drive better. We were jerks and I'm not sure if Mr. Simpson would ever forgive me no matter what I do." Emma just listened attentively, "our story as in you and me isn't romantic at first like it's downright nasty what I did to you and the position I put you in. Sean stole his laptop not because he hated Mr. Simpson or that he wanted him to feel bad for something that happened he did it because he wanted to hurt you for rejecting him which was stupid and to soup up my ride but mostly to hurt you to make his transition into being in my crew easier. I didn't want to admit I liked you I guess but I knew you'd never fit into my crew and besides I was with Alex and you couldn't even commit to a PDA with boy scout Seanny. I'm not telling you this because I want you to dislike Sean, no that's not my plan but it's a truth."
"Wait, can I say something?"
"Sure. I'm sure I blabbed a buncha shit you're going to ask about."
" Why would Sean want to hurt me? What does Mr. Simpson have to do with this? My mom married Simpson, okay? But last I remember they were talking hanging out a lot and maybe even dating? Ew. I mean he's cool I guess for an old guy."
"Cool and Simpson in the same sentence, yikes Emma. You really do try seeing the best in people. Anyway, It's something I don't even know honestly, Emma. It's something you'd probably ask Sean and he'd want to leave in the past. He doesn't like being seen in the past. Your relationship like I said was like falling apart because you apparently were too busy for him or weren't spending enough time with him and you did care about him and you did love him and I sort of gave him an out, maybe he wanted you to feel bad for not being emotionally there for him? Guys needer than a fucking - I don't know he's just so needy but he's good at heart not like me bitter and broken up over shit all the time. I hide it well and he doesn't. I don't want to speculate he's not here right now to defend himself."
"And then what happened after Sean stole Mr. Simpson's laptop?"
"You guys had an unrelated fight probably he had enough and wanted to cop a feel anyway and he broke it off with you because maybe he couldn't live with the guilt? Having to look you in the eye and tell you the truth eventually? Maybe he wanted a clean break? Was it about the fight? I don't know but you guys ended up breaking up. The next day you wanted to talk it out and he pretty much ignored you or said he didn't have anything to say which is even worse. The night before I got him super drunk and he didn't shut up about how you were different and then he acted all tough when I was around. You guys didn't have closure. I can tell you were heartbroken and I didn't fuckin- I didn't really care. He broke your heart and you never truly got over it."
"How do you figure?"
"It's pretty obvious he was your first love. You wanted to fix him but he was so far gone and you put your whole heart into it and he messed up you told me before. He was your first love like I mean you'd move on but you always secretly cared I think because you knew one another a long time."
"I see what you mean."
"Anyhow, You didn't take it well and then you went all Nancy Drew on us. You got me and Sean banned from The Dot for a while, your feelings for Sean were still evident even if you acted like you hated everything he stood for and beyond obvious you were heartbroken. He had sorta moved on because he wouldn't shut up about you so we set him up with Amy and he had some not so nice things to say about you."
"Amy, what's she like?"
"Dangerous to know."
"Dangerous how? Was she pretty?"
"She's kind of a dog honestly, just she was friends with my girl so she was there. He knew that Sharpe this guy was moving in on you and like he didn't like that he was jealous but he had moved on so his hands were tied we all knew but he couldn't say shit anyway because you were out for revenge and then he put his blinders on you know? When Sean becomes well. . angry and sees red? You were angry, you were hurt and you were pretty much dead on bullseye about it. It's as if you knew all along and we knew you were smart and all."
Emma's eyes widened trying to process, "Did you guys get that boy to try to shoot me because I was getting too right on?"
"Oh no Emma, no. Not at all." Jay consoled her, caressing her shoulder soothing her panic, she took a deep breath "you're getting ahead of yourself. You also fought Alex because I guess she hated you because you had life easier than she did. Enough about that though."
"What about that?"
"We didn't talk until around that time a few months before that shit with Rick and the gun. We never hung out in the same circles. You were like friends with the know it alls, the environmental clubs, even the rooks, and knights society. You weren't popular but somehow you fell in with Paige and you guys were anti-Rick. I mean like you guys wanted him dead or expelled but for some reason, he was allowed to remain a student just only select people knew what he did to Terri McGreggor."
"Who is Rick?"
The doctor interrupted, "Visiting hours are almost over, they resume later on tomorrow afternoon."
Jay and Emma's gaze continued before she grabbed his hand and told him quietly, "Will you come tomorrow afternoon?"
"Of course, whatever you want."
"If there's any consolation I wish I remembered you. You seem pretty unforgettable to be completely honest."
Jay softly smiled before questioning whether he should give her a small hug goodbye, carefully maneuvering himself not to hurt her entanglement of wires and things she's hooked up to, she silently looked up at him and he stopped in his tracks hesitating. He felt this magnetic feeling toward her. He almost kissed her but he stopped himself. He awkwardly hugged her and pulled away quickly. There was an overwhelming attraction between the pair and she took it in in the hug, his scent. It wasn't until they had pulled away from the embrace when she put her hands on his shoulders and then it finally hit her like a ton of bricks. She was remembering things again. She didn't remember the past thirty or so minutes that Jay babbled about them fortunately for Jay or was it unfortunate? She was upset again. She had that look in her eyes that she had when they parted ways at the bar that night.
She knew him but she wasn't sure how they had gotten here in the hospital with him beside her after they had agreed it was over, truly over. It was a miracle except for it wasn't, his scent had triggered her to realize who he'd been all along. He kissed her forehead and fought as hard as he could not knowing she was gaining her memories back.
She looked down at her right wrist and beamed seeing the bracelet he had given her the night before when they said goodbye, he was always saying goodbye or something to that effect. She blinked for a moment, getting a good look at him. She cocked her head before asking, "How did this happen?" her tone was less playful, it was serious back to the girl he had been associated before the tragic accident, "you came here? Why? Here to make me fall in love with and then pull the rug when I finally get better? Just go."
"Emma what? I don't know," Jay sighed not understanding that Emma was regaining her memories slowly.
"Doctor said you gotta go, just go."
"No, not before I tell you that I came because I knew I couldn't quite live knowing you'd forgotten me and who we used to be."
"I'm better off forgetting if all you're going to say is the same thing you told me before. I'm here," she softly whispered, "granted I'm hurt, in a hospital bed and I'm not sure what came over me but I'm just -"
The doctor and nurse called in, "Mr. Hogart, visiting hours are now over please exit the room."
Emma started to panic, she didn't want her time with him to end, he was just about to say something monumental and of substance and he's being pushed away, "Just one minute," she told the doctor weakly.
Against his better judgment he stepped out for a time. He begged Emma walking toward her, "Emma, I need you to recall something, anything to where I can believe you remember again."
"You make banger sweet potato fries, you used to take care of me when I'd drink too much, your drink of choice is whiskey, you smoke a lot when you're stressed, you have no filter." She bit her lip softly thinking before finally showing him the bracelet, she pointed to it and said, "You gave this to me, it was your mothers and you had given it to me the night I felt like I really fell in love with you and really connected with you on a romantic level."
"It's a freaking miracle." Jay beamed as he clapped his hands impulsively, and told her rather honestly, "I finally did something right."
"What do you mean? You've done the right thing a lot by me."
Jay was full of glee, "I got you to remember though. It was hopeless before."
"I felt like I was somewhere else though awake but not, but I do remember yes and I hope I don't forget."
The doctor told Jay he had to leave but not before Jay stammered out something monumental, "I've wasted so much time with you beating myself up for no good reason but now I know we have something you and I and no one can take that away."
"What are you saying?"
Jay grasped Emma's hands and asked, "Emma, will you take me back? It'll be different and no I'm not like some jerk who promises the world and never delivers. I feel so stupid when I let you go away, I want to spend my time with you. If I lost you I don't know what I would've done. It wouldn't be pretty. I love you more than anything or anyone in the world. I don't care who knows. I just can't go on without you. I never thought I'd find myself in this position, I always thought love was never in the cards for me and nevermind the fact it's you of all people who made me realize I can fall in love with somebody. Please."
"Of course I will." Emma beamed through tears brimming in her eyes. She wiped them away as Jay advanced forward with his thumb removing some of the excess tears, "Hey," he whispered, "I should be crying but I'm just so happy. I really wish I could kiss you right now."
"I dare you and likewise." Emma beamed as Jay cupped his hands around her face and was inching forward to kiss her when they were interrupted and they had an audience.
The doctor returned back and sighed this time he had Sean and Manny watching what was going on, "Alright five minutes over, you have to go sir. Emma needs her rest."
Jay knew he wasn't going to sleep a wink tonight, he knew he didn't want to miss anything important. He retreated back to the waiting room with his friends with quite a story to tell. Emma couldn't help but see Sean differently since Jay's confessional moments. She had always thought highly of Sean, and while she had never thought very highly of Jay she realized that it was all true. She knew it from that one night as much as she wanted to deny and fight her feelings for Jay. She never wanted to stop loving him.
Manny decided to get comfortable in the hospital as she wasn't planning on going to school. Sean decided to stay with her so she had a friend with Jay. He didn't want to go home. He couldn't wait for his visit with Emma even though he hadn't many more new things to say. Sean had been right, despite Sean's lingering feelings for Emma he is a staunch believer in second chances after he had been given many over the time and kind of seen first hand how much friendships matter. Emma had support in her corner in all three romantic, friendship, and first love and friend and even family support with Spike and Snake.
Jay blurted out, "She remembers."
When they got into the hall the next morning with coffees, Snake gestured backward, "Jay can I have a word with you?"
Jay coughed nervously afraid that he was going to be in trouble and walked toward the soda machines wordlessly as they walked into the vestibule, "I believe I owe you an apology."
"For what?" Jay played dumb.
"I know you don't put much stock into what I say and even if you did I just graded and submitted your scores for your equivalency exam back and you are officially a high school graduate. I'll have you know your studying and analysis have impressed even Laura Kwan on As You Like It. Your essay about Orlando and poetry in regards to your own personal growth and experience was stellar, to say the least not a bit of plagiarism or sarcasm detected. Great work."
Jay's eyes lit up, "Today can't get any better. Uh thank you, sir."
"So uh it's not easy to admit I have judged you a bit too harshly."
"I understand." Jay shrugged, "I'm the very nightmare of dads everywhere. I used to call myself daddy hate bait."
"No, I was wrong for what I said and what I did and for that I am sorry. I keep blaming myself and I don't want to ever make anyone feel as though I've counted them out before they even went up to bat. I thought I had you figured out but now I know that I was wrong to judge you based on stereotypical standards. Sure when you were a student your grades were godawful abysmal but you applied yourself and did really well. You should be super proud of yourself."
"Uh okay."
"Emma is still very important to me, she's the first kid I ever saw as my kid. I want to be a positive influence and I need to learn to let go and stop being so protective. Maybe one day you'd understand when you're a father. She's foggy and she's going to need rock-solid people who are going to be there. I like to think you're one of those people that will stay."
"Absolutely."
"Obviously Manny and Sean and the family but we want you to be a part of it as well. I've misjudged you and it's not just about academics. I couldn't help but notice your dedication and devotion to Emma in these past few weeks. I regret attempting to pull you two apart. I thought you'd skip town, take my bait and stay away but something pulls you two no matter how many times I know Emma didn't deserve what I had done. I feel like I have failed as not only a father but a mentor. Don't let her slip away, she's got a lot of feelings in regards to you whether she can comprehend or not at this time."
"You were just," Jay avoided his eyes, "being protective, being a dad. You are aware I was expelled and for why. I played a role in her trauma but I can't deny I do love her." He wasn't sure how to take Mr. Simpson pouring his heart out and being kind and such to him after what had transpired.
"Now of course the door must be open and yada yada considering we got Emma's blood work back and I think you'd be interested in hearing she's perfectly healthy and nothing abnormal except - ."
Jay blurted out, "I'm clean right?"
"Yes," he answered uncomfortably, "but we haven't exactly told Emma about the more important thing. We didn't think she was in the right state of mind. We know you're serious about her and we haven't had the time but I think we'll be seeing a lot of each other because well Emma is expecting."
"What?" Jay asked with confusion. You've got to be - She's having a baby?" Jay softened up and Snake wanted to say not right then and there, "My baby?"
"I'm just joking with you. Gotcha!" Snake snickered, "you'd be dead meat if that were true but there's a lot of alcohol and marajuana we got to discuss."
"Oh fuck." Jay realized who he was talking to, "I mean crap."
"I'm not going to give you an in-school after all you're not in school anymore. You can do anything now within reason. If you need a recommendation letter I can help you apply for school. Aim high, Hogart I mean it. Just because you got expelled and had to get your GED you don't have to settle it's quite an accomplishment." Snake was humored by his lapse in language, "You should've seen your face but please don't be feeding my stepdaughter drugs and alcohol."
Lonely Sean observed Jay and Snake having a moment. He wasn't sure how to feel about it but he was happy that Snake and Jay were getting along for the sake of Emma and maybe just maybe nothing was so hopeless anymore. He had potential he could be a friend even though he shot his shot and yet he landed among the stars of Emma's friendship and that is enough for him. He had work to do in any case on himself, digging deep and if they wind up together sure it'd be beautiful but they'd be no Jay and Emma - they were something indeed and while his heart hurts he smiled through the pain of losing his heart's desire for Emma and gaining the closure of being a friend not a just friend but an integral platonic friendship.
Sure let's face it, Sean still cared about Emma, it took a lot for him to restrain from giving into her even in her state but he knew he had to do what he had to do for the sake of his friend and their blossoming romance. Stepping back he turned to Manny who was also watching, "Look at them," Manny beamed, "maybe Snake hasn't completely lost his touch. We were all wrong about him."
"Who Snake?"
"No, Jay. He's not so bad and I know he truly loves Emma. How are you holding up?"
"What do you mean?" Sean asked with a furrowed brow, "that's why I stepped back. Friends are more important anyway."
"I mean how are you doing with all of this? It wasn't so long ago you were all wrapped up in Emma."
"That's a forever kinda thing." Sean sighed dejected, "she'll always be important to me but I know she's cared for by someone just as important. You never get over your first love."
Manny instantly thought of Craig, the guy she'd been hopelessly in love with for the past few years and somehow he always reels her back in, "Forever is a long time Sean."
"I have a secret," Sean whispered somewhat embarrassed, "She's kind of my only ink."
"Ink?" And then she understood smiling like the Cheshire cat, "Like a tat? Can I see it?"
"I was hoping things would be different but she'll always be by my heart. If Jay fucks up I'll be swinging my fists but I doubt I'll have to worry about that. She's my friend and that's enough I've got more issues than Sizzleteen magazine. I'm in no position to be dating anybody. I'll do anything for her, but I know her heart doesn't belong to me and maybe it never did. Maybe it never did because she's got a heart and a mind of her own and now her sights are set on someone she or we never expected."
"I know it's kind of bittersweet. So what's your plan since plan A with Emma's done?"
"I'm going to go home, get some sleep and graduate, maybe college who knows," Manny's smile faded softly, "here not Wasaga." And her smile returned, "I know you'll be needing some protection from some of those guys around here. I heard and if there's any consolation I still got a mean hook. Anyone been giving you a hard time?"
"A few, but mostly one Peter Stone."
"Stone Prep creep?"
"Yep. I'm sure you've heard what he did." Manny told him, "but I don't know if there's anything you can do. I don't think I could ever believe him if he apologized. It honestly wouldn't be enough."
"I'll take it from here, Manny."
Jay returned to Sean and Manny, "You guys want to get breakfast at the cafeteria?"
Sean nodded, "Definitely, man I'm starved."
Manny nodded, "I don't have cash on me, you guys go. Plus I want to see Emma first."
"I insist, I can't let you go hungry. Come on." Sean told Manny and she relented and agreed to have breakfast with the boys.
"I can't help but ask what happened during the Snake and Jay meeting so now I gotta come along," Manny smirked at Jay teasingly as they started to walk to the cafe but then Manny heard her name.
"Manny?" Craig arrived at the hospital with flowers. He without thinking ran up to her and hugged her tightly, "I heard what happened. How are you holding up?"
Manny softly smiled; she couldn't resist a hug from Craig. If there was anyone she wanted to be into her it'd be him, "Craig, thanks for coming. I think Emma is going to be okay. Why don't you come to the cafeteria with us?"
"Sure I could go for some coffee and hospital breakfast." Craig beamed comfortably. Sean waved hello to Craig which he waved back. Jay knew Craig from around but didn't greet him. He wasn't sure if Craig was someone he could trust. He knew about Craig's episodes and his past with Manny.
"Who are the flowers for?"
"Emma."
"Visiting hours aren't for another hour, you should give them to a nurse if you're coming," Jay muttered.
"Christine, how are you?" Spike came over quickly when he saw Craig with the get well flowers, "Joey sends his good wishes, he's looking at a house with Diane fresh start since well you know with Caitlin and all."
"Aw, we won't be neighbors anymore. Craig, you're welcome to visit anytime you want. That was thoughtful of you to think of us. Tell Joey and Ang hello from us. We'll be at her pageant next Saturday," Spike smiled through her stress and took the flowers, "I'll ask the nurse if she has any space by her bed. Why don't you go catch up with the others at the cafeteria? We've been here pretty much all night."
Craig followed them down but felt like Jay and Sean really didn't want him tagging along but Manny didn't mind at all, in fact, she was glad he was there, that's when Manny blurted out as they all got in the elevator, "You know Jay right?"
"Yeah," Craig awkwardly muttered as Jay shot him a look, "well in any case it's nice to meet you."
"Well if it isn't downtown sasquatch himself," Jay told him rolling his eyes, "can't say I'm a fan."
"Nobody asked you if you liked our music. I was just trying to be nice."
"You try too hard, bro."
"Whatever you say, Jay. I ain't afraid of you even though you got Jimmy shot and everybody knows it."
The two started to shove each other in the elevator and Manny was uncomfortable. Craig socked Jay square in the face as the rickety elevator was slow getting down to the basement.
"Fuck you, toolbag." Jay spat touching his lower lip, "was that supposed to hurt?" He wiped his bloody lip with his hand, shaking his head.
"Maybe next time it won't be."
The tense ride was quiet for the seconds that remained, Manny looked up at Craig awkwardly until they reached the basement where the cafeteria was. Sean and Jay rushed out and Manny and Craig stayed behind just outside, "Sorry about Jay. Can we talk about something?"
"Sure, I have something to tell you too."
"That was the worst elevator ride ever, but I forgive you anyway," Manny asked him, "I've sorta been MIA lately because of what happened at the show."
"I had a feeling that's why you've been avoiding me but I'm glad we're talking now."
"You did? What were you going to tell me?"
"I liked spending time with you at the show, I hate those girls for making you feel less than you know as a person. I hated seeing you sad a lot and I know you did like spending time with me too for the time you were there. I'm sorry about Ellie, she was acting so strange. I kind of know what you're thinking it wasn't something like a pity date, I wanted it to be a real date."
"Craig -"
"I knew that that freak who took those pictures of you doesn't know what a sweet and kind person you are. I know you've got dreams and I know he's put a dent in them. And I missed you and wanted to tell you how I felt all summer but I'm sorry for the shit I said when I was getting adjusted to my meds last year about you being this big mistake? No, I take that back, that was the mistake. I was blinded. I know I screwed up before with you, having Manny as an enemy isn't what I want. What can I do so we can talk again?"
Manny was flushed and needed time to process, her cheeks turned rosy pink, "Now I feel even worse for running."
"I didn't mean to make you feel shitty. I never want you to feel that way."
"You have though."
"I know. I'd do it all over again and make my wrongs right if it were possible. I just know there's no one else and that should be all that we need. If you saw what I did to Jay, it'd be ten times worse for the freak who took your pictures and plastered them all around the school."
"Did you see it? It's really bad."
"I don't want to lie but I'd rather see your smile than your body."
"You're corny as hell." Manny shook her head at his attempts to smooth things over. She was remembering why she fell for Craig in the first place. "You're doing good so far."
Where Jay and Sean were standing by the cafe line they couldn't hear their conversation and they observed them kiss and hug, which prompted Jay to talk a little shit on Craig, "I don't trust him. Why the hell is he here anyway?" Jay told Sean as he loaded his plate with some food from the cafeteria buffet.
"Craig?"
"No the boogeyman, sasquatch."
"They have history. Not surprising." Sean told him, "don't be so weird about it. I think their friends of the family honestly. I never really got a clear answer either."
"No shit but jerkoff got her pregnant and then tried to strong-arm her into keeping it for whatever reason."
"How do you figure? Why do you know this?"
Jay still wasn't so trusting, "Guy like that makes your problems so small.."
"Hey be nice, Craig, and I used to be friends. No bad blood just drifted apart." Sean applied some ketchup to his burger and some other condiments as he spoke. "I know he has issues but people can change I mean look at you dude. You weren't what I call friends."
"I have weaknesses, sure but at least I wrap it now. Snake punked me into thinking I knocked Emma up."
"And you fell for it?"
"Yeah because there were a few moments where we did fool around and shit but I don't ever want a situation like that playing out period.
"Really wish I didn't hear that."
"Sean, can I say something, address the little elephant in the room?" Sean didn't say anything, "I feel like a jerkoff. I never asked you for your blessing, I broke guy code. I know you told me to befriend Emma and look after her and I overstepped a lot."
"I'll say. It's whatever, you can't help who you like or love or whatever. I did a few doozies myself."
"But as a reformed bad person I guess, I guess the point is, I never think about what I do. I just do it and say it and that's that and I don't think about other people's feelings. Sometimes I don't even care about them. I hurt people and I don't know why but I never wanted to hurt Emma something pulls me toward her. Anyway and I'm sorry for the way I fucked up our friendship." Jay sighed Sean didn't say anything and then he reiterated, "Sean, I'm sorry I know how you always felt and I did it anyway. I get how you wanna keep the peace and shit but I know I didn't do right by you."
"Don't worry about man, I already have forgiven you even if you didn't apologize completely."
"Sean, you're the best friend I've ever had, no joke."
"Thanks," Sean answered back as they went to the table and had some lunch. Craig and Manny joined them but the table remained largely silent. Craig and Manny were seated across from Sean and Jay slowly Craig crept and crawled his hand beside him to Manny's hand and she reluctantly took it.