Chapter Seven: Hermione Granger and the charmed umbrellas.
Hermione had popped by to borrow some money, and Sirius had retaliated to that request by handing over three times what she'd spent last year, in a mixture of galleons and pounds.
She had left with a thoughtful look on her face.
The next day, the first post-war funeral came and Hermione stepped out of the floo at Grimmauld place in a very stuffy looking black funeral robe and hat, with a black veil, clutching a clump of large black umbrellas.
Harry, who was leaning against the kitchen table in a stuffy funeral robe that was as comfortable as well-worn in pyjamas stood up properly "What've you got Hermione?" he asked, as Ron, looking pale and imperious, stepped out of the fireplace "Blimey" said Ron, spoiling the effect "These are comfy for all that we look like nobs"
At the centre of Harry's collar, a silvery deathly Hallows symbol glittered, holding the two sides together.
"I brought umbrellas." said Hermione "Rain at funerals is quite traditional, and I wouldn't put it past some people to arrange rain."
"We'll look right berks if it's not raining" said Ron.
"And they're charmed impervious, unbreakable and have shield runes to stop most spells" added Hermione, nose high. Combined with the robes, the net effect was … disturbingly like a young Bellatrix LeStrange. Sirius gulped audibly, so Harry's impression wasn't singular.
"Hermione" said Sirius carefully "You're sure your parents are muggles, aren't you?" he asked.
"Quite sure" said Hermione "Though, how does that work? I've got magic and they don't? It would make more sense if they were squibs. But they can't see the Leaky Cauldron, so that seems ruled out..."
Harry's ears, which were on the verge of revolt, at yet another Hermione theory, heard the fireplace change pitch and flared green again,and someone stepped out. Pointy shouldered dress with a high collar, pointy hat, black veil, and black gloves. Harry knew intellectually it was probably Daphne, but she looked… like someone from a Hogwarts painting, or one of the stuffier Black family paintings.
"Harry" said Daphne, breaking the building fear in his mind. "Mummy thinks the dress is over the top"
Harry stopped to admire the … Daphne shaped bulges in the dress. "It's fine" he said "Serious but fine."
"Andy would come but she's got Teddy to look after" said Sirius "First is the Carrows, down at their family plot. I've got a portkey."
"Carrows?" asked Ron "Why are we going to a death eaters funeral?" he asked.
"Flora and Hestia are in my sisters dorm, and the only remaining Carrows not incarcerated or gaga" said Daphne. "Their uncle… Rasmus is in Azkaban for forgery."
"Forgery?" asked Hermione.
"Forging ministry forms, permits and licenses" said Daphne "They object to that."
The Portkey was, as usual, an old boot.
Harry appeared with his group into the teeth of a cold wind on a stony moor, green-yellow moss, dry stone walls. Tumbledown tombstones, and two Carrow twins in heavy cloaks, bracketing a taller old lady, all three looking pale and pinched.
Percy Weasley stood, looking awkward in a plain black robe and cloak, and a short, hooded wizard, holding a large book.
"That's the clergyman" said Sirius redundantly.
"There nobody here" whispered Hermione, as they walked over to the Carrows. The twins nodded.
"Daphne" they said "And them" one continued.
"Misses Carrow" said Sirius smoothly "The Blacks, and friends are here to pay their respects."
Harry got elbowed by Daphne and remembered the words "The Potters and Peverells offer you our condolences."
The Twins froze like deer caught in wand-light "The Peverells?" one asked.
Harry nodded "I'm the last Peverell, and I'm sorry for the state of things."
"Tori would come" said Daphne politely "But she can't be out in the cold."
"Why's James Potter here" said the old witch.
"Harry Potter-Black maam" said Harry politely. "James's son, and the slayer of Voldemort."
The old lady shook her head and muttered something about 'fancy dress parties.'
"We are gathered here for the interment of Amycus Carrow, Electrow Carrow, Theosophanes Carrow and Dorothea Carrow nee Rowle" said the short wizard ...the service was very short, and Percy levitated the four black wrapped bodies into holes, and filled in the dirt, standing up four identical tombstones. The first one read 'Aymcus Carrow 1955-1998 Died in the service of genocidal criminal.' and the rest were worded similarly.
"They're ministry issue" said one of the Carrow twins "And frankly, we can't afford tombstones, and wouldn't spend money on them if we had any." The other twin nodded.
Sirius walked over and shook the hand of the first Carrow twin, leaving something in her hand, and repeated the process, and the twins pocketed the small bags.
"What was that?" Harry whispered to Daphne "I've not got anything?"
"Sirius seems to have given them small bags of probably galleons. It's a traditional gift for bereaved paupers you're related to." said Daphne "I've got a bag for them both, don't worry."
Daphne and Harry walked over, side by side and shook the Carrows cold hands. Daphne slipping over two small black bags. The old lady was looking around "Why are we in England" she asked.
Daphne spoke up "My fiancee and I wish you all the best in the coming school year, Misses Carrow, and my sister, of course, wishes you both all the best. She has a message for you."
At that Daphne paused "Help, my bloody sister won't let me come" said Daphne, and tilted her head "Do please floo over as soon as you can, and keep her company." said Daphne with a polite smile.
Harry nodded "It's hard" he said.
"Oh we don't miss mummy and daddy or Auntie and uncle" said one Carrow "But they did give him all our money, so we're a bit broke."
Hermione and Ron , Ron dragged by Hermione came over and Hermione shook the Carrows hands, and the Carrows were a clearly puzzled. The old witch finally asking "What's Roxanne Bathory doing here with James Potter? And where's Monty and that Woman?"
"We're attending every funeral we can" said Harry, trying to explain "Unity, not wars."
Daphne shook her head and muttered "Harry, shush."
Percy handed Sirius an old boot, and took the preacher and apparated away.
"Everyone, next funeral" said Sirius loudly.
The Portkey took them away with a lurch and hideous spinning colours,
They appeared, in a smear of light and a bump, in a church cemetery, the church was small and slate-roofed, the cemetery was old, and it was raining. Harry opened the umbrella, and it covered Harry and Daphne with no difficulty at all. Sirius was standing under his huge umbrella, and Ron got up the last one, Hermione standing beside him. Other witches and wizards were getting wet, and a few had the rain simply shying away from them, but Harry appreciated the larger dry area.
There was a single muddy hole, and one black bundle this time.
Marcus Flint's father Andreus Flint apparently, and Marcus stood, soggy and tall, handcuffed to an Auror, who looked merely soggy.
Sirius walked over and shook Marcus's hand, murmuring something.
"The Flints and Blacks are related" said Daphne quietly.
"Was Marcus a death eater?" asked Harry.
"Suspected at least" said Daphne.
Andreus Flint's tombstone was less rude, saying he "Died supporting the so-called Lord Voldemort."
Harry looked at the stone and beaconed Sirius over "Says Lord Voldemort, but his real name was Tom Marvolo Riddle, and he was a half-blood, Muggle father." said Harry.
Sirius laizly drew his wand and graffiti'ed the tombstone with some slick transfiguration.
"Died supporting Tom Marvolo Riddle, half-blood criminal" Sirius looked around "Just correcting the error" he said with a false smile.
"That's really rude" said Daphne without moving her face.
"He was" said Harry softly "And a relative of mine through the Peverells."
Percy gave Sirius another boot and he came over and tapped Harry with his wand, the robes shifting into a black suit, and within a few more moments, the men were all in black suits, and Sirius had transfigured Daphne and Hermiones' hats into lower, more muggle-safe hats.
"Next one's muggle. Some Creevy bloke?" said Sirius.
"Colin" said Hermione, biting her lip.
After three weeks, the funerals were all a blur of black clothes, handshakes and platitudes.
And a lot of rain, which the umbrellas stopped.
Harry couldn't help remembering Colin's funeral. His parents, so confused, Dennis, not even old enough to shave, and Colin's plain little coffin in the small church.
Sirius transfiguring his coffin into a grand, black monstrosity decorated with Gryphons and Lions.
And his Ministry issue tombstone. "Colin Creevy 1983-1998 Loved Son and brother, A hero."
The last funeral was for Lavender. She'd died in St Mungo's infection. Apparently the cuts she'd had were from a werewolf – Fenrir Greyback, and as Harry remembered all too well… not every werewolf survived their first transformation. Hermione had locked herself in her room when she heard. "But I healed her cuts!" she'd said.
The turnout was… the whole DA, all of Gryffindor, Sirius and Harry and Daphne, and Lavender's parents, who were, Harry realised, by their robes, old-school Purebloods.
Sirius gave a curt bow to them, no hand-shake , saying "The house of Black express their regrets at your tragic loss" and Daphne elbowed Harry.
Harry walked over and looked at the two, upset looking parents, both in robes but not looking all stuck-up. Her mum had dark hair, her father light, Harry realised. He'd imagined Lavender's mum as being a grown-up Lavender. "The house… Peverell expresses it deep regret at your loss" said Harry "And I'm very sorry" said Harry "I'm sorry I didn't get him earlier, that I made mistakes."
Daphne elbowed Harry "And this is my fiancee, Daphne Greengrass."
"And the house of Greengrass express their regrets at your loss" said Daphne.
"Thank you dear" said Mrs Brown.
"Lavender did say you had a secret love" said Mr Brown "She was so gifted at divination."