Chapter Eight: Back to Normality

Harry got a letter from Hogwarts. It was utterly totally boringly normal. Harry copied it with a gemino curse, and had it framed. Sirius framed it by transfiguring an old painting from the attic.

Harry went crafts-crazy that night, and framed many of his pictures, and hung them over the dirty pictures Sirius had put up. The effect was… to make the room look like a room Harry had imagined. One that was HIS, with his things. And not covered in dirty pictures.

Unfortunately he was also summonsed to the wizengamot to give testimony.

The Malfoys , with Harry's honest testimony, got Azkaban, Mrs Malfoy for a year, Mr Malfoy for life. As Kingsley had hinted, Draco got off with massive fines, house arrest, and parole. Any sort of conviction and he would go to Azkaban for two years. For breaching parole more than the crime.

Harry left the wizengamot with the vague feeling that all was not well. Maybe he just hated courtroom ten.

Shopping for Hogwarts was weird.

The crowds pressing around Harry just wanting to touch him, thank him.

Hermione, Ron and Ginny had come along with Mrs Weasley and she started to get red-faced.

"Honestly" she said "These people are being just annoying."

Hermione had a pensive look on her face. A plan was clearly fomenting.

Mrs Weasley decided to use a Sonourus charm

"Harry needs to do his school shopping. Clear off and let him get on with it" boomed her voice over the crowed.

"And If you don't you'll feel my wand!" she boomed.

Ron went red- faced. Harry felt his pain.

Someone pressed closer, and true to her word, Mrs Weasley went flick, snap and the approaching wizard shot across the alley and stuck to the wall. The crowds retreated a little.

"Banishing and sticking charms?" asked Hermione "I put a fully body bind on mine" she said enthusiastically and Ron's face scrunched in on itself, like he was trying to disappear.

Harry imagined Ron's inner monologue… 'Bloody hell, she's comparing hexes with mum.'

A few more flicks of wand by Hermione and Mrs Weasely and the crowds retreated.

A bit later Tonks, in Red Auror's uniform strolled over to them as they looked for potions ingredients.

"Molly, Hermione" she said casually "I hear you might have stuck a few people to the wall, just to get them out of the way?" asked Tonks, really casually.
"Yes dear" said Mrs Weasley, politely her wand still in her hand.

"Well, they complained" said Tonks "So officially you're warned. Only my boss Kingsley also said to make sure nobody annoys Harry… so I'm tagging along." Mrs Weasley nodded and Hermione smiled weakly.

Ron exclaimed "Hey these beetle-eyes are three sickles a scoop. That's daylight robbery!"

"Prices are up from the war" said Tonks blandly, tapping her wand on her upper arm, her fingerless gloves looking… a bit more military than punk-rock now she was in uniform.

The Defence Textbook looked vaguely familiar. Like they'd been ones the seventh years had used before.

"Who's the defence teacher?" asked Harry.

"My Husband" said Tonks "At least his students get NEWTs."

"Oh Nymphadora, how will you cope, with Teddy, and Remus at Hogwarts?" asked Mrs Weasley fussily.

"With a suite at Hogwarts Molly. And let me remind you not to use my first name" said Tonks "I don't want to have to duel you."

Mrs Weasley laughed nervously. "Oh dearie, you have such a sense of humour"

"My husband doesn't call me that," said Tonks firmly, "Sirius does, but he's head of the family, and mysteriously reappeared just before the battle of Hogwarts, after falling through the veil of death."

"Very Mysteriously," said Ron, "Best not to ask."

"I heard," said Tonks casually, as Harry paid for three whole new potions kits, and shrank them to carry.

"I also heard my little cousin Harry got engaged to a Slytherin Heiress?" asked Tonks.

"We've known each other for years, on the quiet" said Harry "Like your mum really."

Tonks face darkened, her hair going dark red "Quite. Shame my dad was murdered" she said bitterly. "He's not coming home."

"Sorry Tonks," said Harry "But you know, I went to every funeral after the war. You know what sticks in my mind?"

Tonks shook her head.

"My classmate Colin Creevy. He was a year behind me, a little muggleborn kid. He died fighting, with us, up on the battlements. He was only sixteen, and his parents had his little brother, Dennis, who's fifteen, a ministry tombstone, and Colin, in a body bag. We all turned up, said our piece, they buried Colin. His dad's a milkman. They all hid for a whole year, and Colin died trying to be a hero. Thats what the war means to me Tonks. A kid died trying to impress Harry fucking Potter. And I can't stop seeing him, dead his little brother holding him,in my nightmares. After a year on the run, doing all kinds of dumb shit to stop Voldemort, Voldie got cocky, I found a weakness, and we all got so fucking lucky, you should name your next kid Lucky. Bills and Fleurs girl is called Victoire."

Tonks crossed her arms defensively "Lots to say, Mr chosen one?"

"I really don't recommend that" said Harry "Voldemort heard the prophecy, that's why he killed my parents. Not because it was real, but because he believed it was. Same reason he kept trying to kill me."

Tonks shook her head "You're one messed up kid, Potter" she said.

"My fiancee says something like that" lied Harry. Daphne mostly said "Oh please…. More" or told him he was using the wrong fork. He'd begged off visit her house, meeting her parents again.

"He's changed" said Tonks, shaking her head.

"He's less angsty" said Ron unhelpfully "Even if he dumped my sister for his old girlfriend."

"Old girlfriend?" asked Tonks, eyebrows furrowing.

"End of summer before third year" said Ron "Harry spent a week footloose and fancy free here in Daigon Alley. Snogged his first little girlfriend."

"Always the quiet ones," said Tonks, shaking her head "Hermione, you're all right ?"

"Oh I've got a perfectly heroic wizard of my own thanks" said Hermione, with a wry smile. "He's a little rough around the edges, but… he has big hands"

Tonks snorted, and Molly Weasley rolled her eyes. Harry blinked, had he really seen that?

Ginny was quiet, polite and utterly ignored Harry. Which would have hurt once, he thought. Now, it was just… an old pain. Like a basilisk scar on your arm, it only hurts when it's cold outside.

All of the Burrow-dwellers apparated home once Harry had handed over potions kits, and Harry went home... home to Grimmauld place. He opened the front door, and the monotonous sound of hammering had stopped.

He closed the door behind him, and there in the distance was the sound of painting. The decorators weren't finished, but many rooms were quite decent.

Harry's replacement trunk repacked, he sat down on his bed , lay back and thought. Back to Hogwarts. Hard to believe really. The growth potions had finished, and he'd had another growth spurt, outgrowing his few pairs of trousers, which had necessitated a trip to Madame Malkins, and Daphne had come along, and overridden Harry's choices. And she'd been quite insistent about tight black trousers. They were quite restrictive. Madam Malkin's assistant had nodded and smiled a small smile. Harry had no idea what was so amusing.

Harry blinked and checked the clock. Nearly dinner time, he apparated down to the kitchen, where Sirius was sitting ,boots on the kitchen table, a carrier bag of takeaway next to him.

"You're nearly late. You'd have got not cashews" Sirius observed.

"Prat" said Harry.

"Dick" said Sirius fondly. After takeaway, Sirius leaned the chair back on two legs and said "Time for a serious talk."

"About what?" asked Harry.

"For gods sake don't knock Daphne up this year" said Sirius "Not till After the wedding at least."

Harry blushed, took a deep breath and rebutted "Potions and charms. Two charms, one potion."

"And don't get photographed doing things" added Sirius "The Prophet would love for you to look bad. That goes for fighting too. Especially at Hogsmeade. You're an adult, that means Aurors, and cameras."

"I'll try not to" said Harry.

"You sound like your dad" said Sirius "I sound like your granddad. Your dad, well, seventh year, he got caught out a bit. With your mum. Who was head girl, so be discreet."

"Once… once…. that's done. We've got our own room" said Harry. "Very discreet"

"Given the number of times she came around this summer, it's going to be a struggle. Try to not look like a hormonal teenager." said Sirius "And try to make sure you… give as good as you get. It's only fair."

"Yeah" said Harry "We had this discussion already. It's under control."

"If this is being a parent… I'm not sure I want more kids" said Sirius.

"You need a witch first" said Harry snidely.

"I'm… finding my place in society" said Sirius.

"Well, how about a foreigner?" asked Harry "Every witch in America doesn't think you're a resurrected murderer."

"Hey.. they speak English too" said Sirius thoughtfully.

"And like British accents" said Harry.

"Er… American accents. Erk" said Sirius.

"Grandma's was okay?" said Harry.

"True. Salem." said Sirius thoughtfully. "I'll get a portkey… book a hotel room."

"And that way you won't fret about me" said Harry glibly.

"Shut up kiddo" said Sirius.

Harry decided that night to swot up on certain… charms. Without a bed for months, he'd need more persuasive ammunition.

-=0=-

Sirius hugged him manfully on Platform nine and three quarters, and the train must have spat soot or something, because they both had tears in their eyes as they parted.

"Yule at the Greengrasses boy" reminded Sirius. Harry nodded. He'd stalled for four months. There was no more stalling to stall with.

Harry carried a weightless trunk into a Hogwarts Express compartment, and put it on the top rack, and sat down, the crunkle of brown paper in his coat pocket, reminding him of his corned beef sandwich. Something to eat, and safe from Ron.

He lay back and rested his eyes.

"Harry!" said Hermione, throwing her trunk onto the racking one-handed "Are you asleep?"

"I was just resting my eyes" said Harry, yawning. He'd not got to sleep till three.

"Where's Greeny?" asked Ron, throwing his old trunk up onto the racking.

"I've no idea" said Harry "I'll find her later."

"Have you gone off her?" asked Hermione. Harry blinked, how to explain. He considered the truth: 'Hermione I'm tired because I spent all night practising sex magic to butter Daphne up, so she'll have sex without a bed?' He didn't think the truth was going to be well received.

"I was practising magic." Harry said. It had the advantage of being mostly true.

"Oh what?" asked Hermione, and Harry kicked himself. "Show me"

Harry tried to strangle the urge to die of embarrassment. He was pretty sure he could cast a nipple-stimulation charm now, and a … not a nipple stimulation charm, but doubted Hermione would appreciate a demonstration. Well… not from Harry anyway. So he went with "Revising every charm from first year to sixth."

Hermione blinked "Harry, that's wonderful." she said enthusiastically "I should have thought of that"

Ron shot him a look, something like a 'What the hell are you doing, winding up Hermione's study-o-matic already.' Harry shrugged.

Someone came in, someone blonde, and Harry's heart sped up, before he saw it was dirty blonde hair, and Luna sat down in the corner "Hello" she said pleasantly.

"Hi Luna" said Harry, and Hermione smiled, and Ron waved.

"How's the house?" asked Harry. Sirius had sent builders to replace the wall. And the press.

"A bit boring really," said Luna, "The rope ladders and bridges were more fun. But it's warmer and not wet inside, so the new press runs better. Daddy says it's boringly reliable. He's a bit weird." said Luna conspiratorially "He liked the orneriness of the old press."

Neville went past, ducked in to say "Hannah's three compartments down. See you en-route" and left.

"Harry" asked Luna "Where's Daphne Greengrass, your fiancee and secret lover?"

Harry took a deep breath "Is that Luna my friend, or Luna Lovegood, ace reporter asking?" he asked.

"Luna the friend. you're a bit rubbish at girls" said Luna bluntly. Ron snorted.

"I'll look for her in a bit" said Harry, avoiding thinking about… her friends were in the Slytherin girls dorms and might include Pansy… and peripherally other Slytherins, like Pansy, for example.

Harry dozed off after the train started, to be woken by a vicious poke from Hermione.

Draco Malfoy stood in the compartment doorway looking awkward.

"Potter, what the hell are you doing napping? Here?" asked Malfoy.

"Eh?" asked half-awake Harry.

"Well brought up witches don't come looking for their boyfriends. Greengrass is ensconced with the returning girls." said Malfoy "Do you have a death wish?" Malfoy shook his head "Oh, and blah blah, my father will hear of this" said Malfoy, and left, shaking his head.

"Blah blah my father will hear of this" said Hermione "Did… Draco Malfoy just get meta on you?"

"If I knew what meta was, I could comment on that" said Harry.

"Oh merlin he's such a Gryffindor" said Luna, lowering her upside down copy of the Quibbler.

"He's being meta-textual. He would ordinarily say something like that on the way to Hogwarts, but as He, and he assumes you are finally beyond such silliness, he's merely referencing it ironically." said Luna, and Hermione nodded.

"Was… that a joke then?" asked Ron.

"A quite witty one, for a semi-reformed death-eater" said Luna. "I have a horrible feeling that Draco Malfoy is cleverer that Harry Potter."

"Trust me," said Hermione, "I've seen their grades. It's true."

"Hermione," asked Harry "Why aren't you a prefect, or head girl?"

"Because" said Hermione evenly "I turned both down. Some seventh year can do it, I've got to get back into the swing of things and get NEWTs. And after your little joke, there was no way I going to be head girl."

"Study buddies?" asked Luna.

"Study buddies" said Hermione, with a nod.

"Harry" said Ron slowly "not that I'm saying Malfoy was right, or anything. But… maybe, you should go find Greeny."

Harry stood up and put his bagged sandwich on his seat "It's corned beef" said Harry, taking out the chocolate and replacing it.

"In case of Dementors," said Hermione.

"Well, actually to give to Daphne" said Harry. "It's either her favourite flavour, or she's been engaging in an elaborate disinformation campaign."

Ron's mouth dropped open. "He's extra sarcastic" Ron observed.

"He's trying to be competitive with Malfoy" observed Hermione snidely.

Harry left, and headed up-train. The Slytherins tended to sit in the front several carriages.

Many students got up to speak to Harry, and he quietly locking-charmed the doors to buy time.

Carriage two, compartment two had a group of familiar looking Slytherin girls, and particularly a blonde.

Harry knocked on the door. Heads turned. Daphne tilted her head slightly, as if to say 'Took your time.'

Harry opened the door and put on his best smile.

"You're late" said Tracey. "Poor Daphne's been sitting with only her friends for company." Harry hadn't really talked to Tracey, but she seemed a bit… pushy.

"I fell asleep, sorry" said Harry. "I was up all night studying."

"Term hasn't started" said Tracey, while Daphne just looked quietly at Harry.

"For the exam in Easter" said Harry as casually as he could, and Daphne's eyes widened, and she suppressed a smile.

"Quite" said Daphne. Tracey's brow was furrowed, then her face relaxed and she blushed "Oh my god" she said, staring at Harry "Harry Potter made a dirty joke."

"It's no joke" said Harry "It's important that Daphne get at least six O's."

Daphne's neck went red, and she hid her face "Prat" she said.

"Oy" said Tracey "That's sexual harassment. Don't."

"Trace, down" said Daphne softly.

"So Harry Potter can make jokes about… stuff" said Tracey.

"Harry Potter-Black who I'm marrying at Easter, yes" said Daphne.

"Um… Hi Tracey, and Lily and Millicent" said Harry awkwardly. "Is Pansy here this year?"

"Next compartment" said Millie.

"That's actually quite brave of her" said Harry sincerely. The girls all looked at Harry, brows up, eyes narrowed.

"I bring a gift" said Harry, taking out the chocolate bar from his coat pocket.

"That's a gift?" asked Lily Moon, whose black hair was tied back, making her… well, moon-like pale face look, well… like a baked potato.

Daphne held out a hand, and Harry walked across the compartment, knelt and put the chocolate bar in her palm.

Daphne examined the bar "Adequate" she said. Harry smiled "We good?" he asked.

"No, you didn't come to seem me on time" said Daphne.

"Well… I'm sorry. I really did fall asleep" said Harry, still kneeling.

"You can't buy forgiveness with chocolate" said Daphne. Harry nodded.

"How about a back rub?" asked Harry. Lily boggled and Tracey went red in the face.

"No" said Daphne.

"Well, I could try antique jewellery?" asked Harry, reaching into his other coat packet and taking out a miniature box covered in blue velvet , which he put on the centre table, and tapped carefully with his wand. It expanded into a book-sized box, and Harry picked it up and offered it to Daphne, opening it towards her. Tracey craned her head over to see.

"Blimey" said Tracey, at the large diamond necklace.

Daphne instead of being impressed, drew her wand and cast a finite in the necklace, which expanded, turning into a necklace made of wine-gums in the shape of gems.

"New product," admitted Harry, "Drinky Diamonds. The white ones are champagne, the yellow ones cognac, the green ones are absinthe."

"These are alcoholic?" asked Tracey, Daphne's wand still in her hand.

"They expand in your mouth to jelly-slug sized gummy shots" said Harry. "Thought you witches might want a few night-time snacks."

"From Mr Weasley, I assume?" asked Daphne.

"Droobles are talking about making them a more main-stream product, but yeah, Weasleys Wheezes only for now." said Harry. "How'd you know Daphne?"

"The silk lining is watermarked with overlapping double-you's" said Daphne. "And the box is too big." With that, Daphne lowered her wand. "Friends, this sort of pathetic present is what I have to tolerate" she said.

Harry rummaged in his left coat pocket and pulled out another shrunken black velvet box "Well, there's this little thing" He said, tossing it to Daphne, where it landed in her lap. Daphne tapped it with her wand and it expanded into a hat-box sized velvet box. Daphne rolled her eyes and opened the box, which had a tall lid. A small silvery tiara with a few small gems sat there. Daphne looked down at it dismissively, then bent down, stared carefully, and frowned "Harry!" she said, stridently.

"Well, it's not lost anymore" said Harry.

"The lost diadem of Rowena Ravenclaw" said Daphne stiffly "Is not a gift. It's a priceless historical treasure!"

"So are you… .priceless" said Harry. "It's not even cursed. Anymore."

Daphne picked up the small diadem and asked "And if I put it on?"

"Well, that's a bit painful yeah," said Harry, "But you do get super clever, apart from the nosebleeds."

"Arse" said Daphne, and put the diadem on and stared at Harry. Well, except that once the Daidem went on her head, she shuddered, and fell backwards, staring fixedly at the ceiling, finally, lifting one arm shakily ,and taking it off. She sat up "That was uncomfortable" said Daphne.

"But you did feel super clever" suggested Harry.

"I might have finally understood some arithmancy" admitted Daphne. "But the ideas elude me now."

"Well it's still effectively cursed." said Harry "Only works while worn. And isn't any use for revising notes."

"So why give it to me?" asked Daphne.

"So you can donate it back to Hogwarts." said Harry. "Ravenclaws' ghost, the Grey Lady will probably be very happy. Then the Headmistress can use it, for example to read Hermione's essays."

Daphne put the diadem back in the box and closed it, and shrank it, and pocketed it. "When am I donating it?"

"Oh, you could do it tonight at dinner?" asked Harry.

"I'd rather not" said Daphne.

"Well, you can owl it to her" suggested Harry, taking out another box.

"Is that a prank or a priceless historical treasure?" asked Daphne.

"Neither" said Harry, tossing Daphne the box, that she caught. Expanded, it was larger than the diadem box.

Daphne opened it, and it was full of jewellery, pinned in place. A tiara, necklace, earrings, bracelets, and three rings. All covered in diamonds and black pearls.

"I read" said Harry "that jewellery was a traditional courting gift. I am a bit behind on gifts, so here's a set. It's an old Black family set."

Daphne rolled her eyes "This is excessive, you berk," she said fondly.

"Well, and I was late getting here" said Harry.

"We could buy a house with this" said Daphne sternly.

"No need, Sirius is giving us a Chateau." said Harry. "Great-Grandmother Melania's"

"Daph?" asked Lily "He's getting a chateau, and just heaved two small fortunes in treasure at you. Cut him some slack."

Daphne closed the box, shrank it and pocket it "Well… you came prepared. Well done. Do try to be on time. If you are late to our wedding I will be moved to revenge."

"Noted" said Harry seriously "Can I have a seat?"

"You can sit on the floor" said Daphne. Harry sat down and scooted over to lie against Daphne's legs.

"Ugh… the kneazle treatment" said Daphne. Harry reached behind himself and awkwardly stroked her leg. Daphne kicked gently "Not in public!" she said.

"No PDA?" asked Millicent. "He's on a short lead."

"No comment" said Harry, leaning against Daphne's shins.

Five or ten minutes later Daphne said "Get up, my legs are losing circulation, you big lump"

Harry stood up and Daphne stood, and pointed at the seat "Sit!" she said.

Harry sat, held out his arms and Daphne sat on his lap, and Harry wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on her shoulder, eyes closed.

Daphne had a slight smile "Well" she said "Now my legs have circulation again, anyone for some games?"

"How about, stories about my secret super powerful boyfriend" said Tracey.

Daphne shook her head "I only have a fiancee, so I can't play that game. Tell us about Charlie Weasley, Davis Tamer?"

Tracey smiled sweetly "Dear Daphne" she said "The back story is that there are six Weasley sons. We all know Ronald, and the Twins, and may remember Percy, the Ministry Weasely. There are two more, Bill, the oldest, who's a curse-breaker and married to Fleur Delacour; the Veela from Beauxbatons, and Charlie Weasley, Dragon handler. He was back from Romania for a little war, and I met him. He's neither gay nor asexual. But he's gone back to Romania, as Dragons mean more to him than mere witches."

"Oh I'm sorry" said Daphne. "I didn't know."

"Well, he was a bit dragon-obssessed" admitted Tracey. "Big – "

"Tracey!" interrupted Lily.

"Chest" said Tracey "What, did you think I was going to say dick?" She giggled.

"That reminds me Harry" said Daphne "I'll be checking with Pansy later."

"Please don't" said Harry, eyes still closed.

"Relax" said Daphne "You're the only one for me."

"Ohhh" said Tracey "That's quite sweet."

Harry nuzzled Daphne's neck, and she shivered "Stop that" said Daphne "No PDA."

Half an hour later Harry tapped Daphne on the leg "Geroff" he said "I've got dead legs"

Daphne got off his lap and Harry slowly rose to his feet and staggered to the door, turning "See you later Daphne, ladies."

"He's not going to stay" said Lily.

"Romantic as having Daphne sit on my lap for six hours is… I might lose the use of my legs. There's not room to sit here, so I'll have to go sit in my compartment. Where there is a little room." said Harry.

"Do you expect me to come sit with your friends?" asked Daphne.

"If you feel you want to" said Harry. "It's Ron, Hermione, and Luna. Neville will drop by at some point and Draco already came by to remind me to come see you."

Daphne shook her head. "That is surreal" she said.

As Harry left the compartment Daphne asked "Where are you anyway?"

"Last carriage, last compartment. My usual." said Harry, leaving the compartment.

Daphne sighed softly.

Harry had gone back to sleep on his seat, to be woken once more by a vicious poke from Hermione.

Daphne and her sister stood in the doorway.

"Hi Daphne, Astoria. Everyone this is Astoria Greengrass, Daphne's sister." said Harry.

Luna offered Astoria her Quibbler.

"The quibbler." said Astoria dismissively "I don't think so"

"Well there is a crossword puzzle" said Luna, opening the paper backwards, and handed it to a surprised Astoria.

Astoria stared at the crossword puzzle for a few seconds "It's not in English" she said, sounding confused.

"Runes" said Luna dismissively.

"Which kind?" asked Hermione.

"Oh all of them" said Luna blandly. Hermione's face froze. Astoria stared at the crossword puzzle "This… you're a Ravenclaw aren't you?" asked Astoria.

"Oh I've been reading runes since I could walk" said Luna "It's quite easy really."

Astoria's lips moved "The questions are cryptic, and the answers are in a mixture of runes. This is impossible!"

"It takes a few days for most readers" said Luna. "We only print once a fortnight, so it has to take a while to be good value for money."

Daphne took the quibbler from her sister and scanned the crossword puzzle.

"This" said Daphne "Is insanely difficult." Hermione rolled her eyes and held out her hand, and took the proffered quibbler.

Luna had taken out another one from her bag and was reading it upside down.

"Why are you reading upside down" asked Astoria. Harry winced.

"Because I learnt to read by reading set type for the quibbler" said Luna lightly "Which is upside down and backwards, so if it's upside down, it looks a bit more natural to me."

Hermione's head turned like a tank turret to leave her staring at Luna "That's why you read everything upside-down?" Hermione asked.

"Well, obviously." said Luna "It's not like I'm mad."

Hermione went back to looking at the crossword puzzle. "Luna" she said in a small voice "How do you handle letters overlapping in different runic sets?"

"That's a clue too" said Luna "Either the language is the same, or has a common symbol. If you're on an easy puzzle, it's the same character."

"You mean to tell me, you have to solve the puzzle in all possible languages and pick what fits?" asked Hermione.

"It takes a little getting used to." admitted Luna. "The next page has a harder one."

Hermione turned the page and blinked, and handed it back to Daphne, who went a big green.

"Luna" asked Hermione "Two crossword puzzles?" she asked.

"The easy one takes three days or so for most people, and the hard one, a week" said Luna brightly.

"And then the Quibbler comes out again, four days later" said Daphne levelly.

"When someone hasn't blown up our printing press" said Luna blandly.

"Sorry" said Harry in a small voice.

"Luna, who sets the puzzles?" asked Hermione.

"Miss Tick sets the easy one, and Baron Marmaduke Zaccheaus von Gribbleflotz sets the hard one." said Luna. "They're almost volunteers, they just love runic crosswords"

"Luna" said Hermione firmly "Is the quibbler, in fact, the premier runic crossword magazine, with some extra stories in just for fun?"

"The stories are the best part" said Luna "People used to write in and tell us all kinds of things. It's really hard when all you have is boring ministry press releases and death-eaters taking me off to be imprisoned."

Daphne looked over at Hermione and shook her head "I'm so sorry" she said "I thought muggle things were mad, and now I discover, I'm an idiot, and the Ravenclaw cabal have had a newspaper to share strange ideas, and impossibly difficult crosswords."

"Well, there are arithmantic puzzles as well, but they're a bit dull" said Luna.

Daphne handed Hermione back the newspaper, and she flicked through it, and started reading. Soon the newspaper was lowered shakily and Hermione croaked "I need to start revising. I have forgotten everything."

"Lovegood" said Daphne "A subscription. I need to scrub up my runes, and it looks like ideal Arithmancy revision material if Danger Granger needs to revise."

"Harry" said Ron "I feel the need to read the sports section of the Prophet about now."

"In a string vest" suggested Harry.

"Drinking beer" added Ron.

Hermione turned her head and stared at Ron. He smiled "Just kidding" he squeaked.

-=0=-