Stolen Glances in the classroom.
Smiles meant to be seen just by each other.
Brief, light touches of each other's fingertips as papers were passed back out.
Those were small gestures of affection.
Now that she was sitting face to face with Ben at a fancy Italian restaurant out of town in Chandrilla, Rey realized that those small gestures were a sprinkling of affection that Ben showed towards her in public.
Now that they were a few hours away from anyone that would recognize them out together from school, he was giving her grander gestures.
He was holding her hand as their arms were outstretched across the table, her fingers intertwined with his.
His smile was plain as day spread across his face.
They ate a nice meal. They talked about life and their plans for the future. They laughed out loud.
Kylo let Rey pick whatever she wanted off of the menu. Nothing was outrageously expensive but Rey wasn't used to going to any type of restaurants at all.
Her foster father never took her anywhere and Rey didn't date. She wasn't the type of girl in school that got to get dressed up and go to an fancy restraint with table cloths and candles in the center of the tables.
Rey had picked Spaghetti and meatballs because she didn't recognize most of the meals listed. She knew that she was safe getting spaghetti.
Ben ordered Chicken Alfredo. Rey tried not too think of how expensive the meals were or how Ben was possibly affording it. His job was required as part of graduation but wasn't paid.
Rey had heard rumors from her classmates that Ben's mom was in politics, possibly a senator. Rey didn't follow politics so had no idea. Ben had never mentioned being wealthy around Rey but he wore designer brand clothing. Even his watch was a Rolex. She had pretended in the past that she hadn't noticed but she did notice. She just didn't think it was any of her business.
It did make her nervous sometimes knowing that Ben came from wealth and Rey came from poverty. Rey had nothing to her name, she owned nothing.
One day though, Rey thought, she would be successful. She was going to finish college and finish a business degree. She also enjoyed writing. She thought that she may publish a book one day.
Rey cooked all of her own meals as Unkar was hardly home to bother feeding her. She typically had to walk to the grocery store herself to restock the pantry and fridge with the measly cash that Unkar left for her.
Rey wasn't much of a cook and what she could cook for herself was simple definitely not Shrimp Puttanesca or Mushroom Carbonara. She hadn't even eaten shrimp before because seafood was not in her food budget.
In the classroom Ben treated her coldly, like a stranger most of the time. Only occasionally would he break character and smile at her or glance in her direction. He would notice her but only for a few moments.
When he was at her place for their tutoring sessions he focused his attention on her. There in her kitchen it was just the two of them and no one else could burst into their bubble.
Until the next day in the classroom, where his attention and affection for Rey once again became a secret.
At the restaurant in front of about thirty strangers, Rey didn't feel like his secret.
Rey felt like he was seeing her again.
She felt like she was seen and he was proud to be out about the town with her. His eyes were focused on her face and he was lavishing her with compliments.
"You are so pretty Rey, you know that right?"
"I am the luckiest guy to be out with you right now"
The compliments brought a huge grin to Rey's face and made her face flush with embarrassment. Happy embarrassment.
As they left the restaurant, after Ben paid the bill he grabbed her hand once more and pulled her close to him.
"Thanks for making me the substitute date Sweetheart", he said as he tenderly leaned down to kiss her on the cheek.
Rey looked at him in confusion, knitting her eyebrows together and forcing her lips into a thin line.
"What do you mean, substitute?", she asked
Ben threw his head back and laughed. "You know instead of Snap. I know it was important for you to get asked out and to be seen socially. I'm just glad it is me that you are hear now with and not him", he responded as he gently moved his thumb in circles in the palm of her hand, sending shivers through Reys body.
She smiled up at him. "I'm glad it is you too Ben"
As they reached his car, he pulled open the door for her on the passenger's side and gestured for her to get in. Rey slid into the leather seat of the Honda Accord. He got into the driver's side and then again reached for her hand as he started the car.
Rey was amazed at how calm she felt as they drove back to her place. She thought that she should be giddy with anticipation of what could come after their date.
She had sat in class in front of him, day dreaming about him and her together. She imagined the way that his lips would feel as they lightly brushed down her body, kissing every part of her. The way that his hands would feel, his large hands pressing his fingertips into her ass as he squeezes them close together as he kissed her.
Now that she had a chance of making her dreams reality she was complexly nonchalant about it. She expected it to happen rather than wanting something to happen between them.
Rey was excited to learn that Unkar was away when she got home. Their place was enveloped in darkness when she opened the door and Rey found a note attached to the fridge door to not wait up for him as he'd be home in the morning.
Rey was looking down at the note in her hand that she had pulled from the fridge door when Ben walked up behind her, noticing the sly grin that was on her face.
"What's up?, he asked.
Rey slyly looked up at Ben, biting her lower lip. "I have the place to myself tonight", she replied.
Ben looked away quickly and then turned back to look at her with a huge grin on his face. He came up behind her and hugged her waist tightly and brought his lips to her neck.
"That's convenient. Convenient for us anyways. ", he whispered into her hair.
Rey turned around, pressing her body against his taunt muscles. She could feel the heat that was radiating from him as he leaned down to firmly press his lips against hers.
"Mmm hmm", Rey murmured while opening her mouth slightly to allow his tongue to invade her mouth.
Rey felt a warmness slowly absorbing her entire body as Ben led them to the couch.
Ben laughed while kissing her and pulled away slightly.
"You don't have to be so stiff with me, Rey. You can relax. I won't bite. I promise", Ben stated as he leaned back down and captured her mouth once again.
Rey giggled. "How do I know that? Maybe I want you to bite me. Maybe just a nibble?",
Ben pushed her body down further on the couch.
Rey felt her shoulder hit the edge of the couch as Ben pressed his body on top of her. He was supporting himself on his knees so that he didn't completely crush her with his girth.
Ben was close to a foot taller than Rey was and had a muscular build compared to Rey's thin limbs. She had run track all through high school so her body had become lithe and sinewy with muscle.
Ben's hands moved to Rey's hair and loosened her buns so her hair flowed down her shoulder and his fingers got entangled in the strands.
He backed off of her for a moment and pulled off his shirt and then his hands were at the bottom seam of her tank top and that was quickly shed as well.
Rey ran her hands up and down the sides of his torso and his back.
He reached around Rey and unclasped her bra. He threw it to the floor.
Feeling Ben's bare skin touching hers was a different sensation than she anticipated. She thought it would be an awkward experience. Having him lay on top of her wasn't awkward though, it felt magical to Rey. She felt like she was transported somewhere else, somewhere where no one else would judge them being together and not her dingy living room on top of a well-worn couch.
Rey reached around with one arm until she had her fingers in his raven colored hair that dipped just below his ears in length.
Ben gasped and broke their kiss. He smiled down at her.
"I want to make you feel good", he said in a husky voice.
Ben's fingers slipped under her underwear and lightly circled her nub. He licked his fingers and then returned his two fingers to her clit.
Rey let out a soft moan.
Ben pushed a finger into her wet folds and then started to push the finger deeper.
Pleasure overtook Rey's thoughts but also sense of panic.
She wanted Ben but she didn't want to be his secret anymore.
She wanted to proudly walk hand in hand with him into the classroom.
She wanted to be able to tell her friends that they were together. She wanted to be able to take him to parties and for him to take her to his dorm and to meet his parents.
She was scared that wouldn't happen.
Fear of their relationship going back to stolen glances again terrified her.
Rey's body stiffened up. Her hand came up to rest on top of Ben's.
Ben looked up at her, studying her face.
"Its ok Rey. We can stop for now."
"I won't do anything to make you feel uncomfortable Rey and I don't want to move faster than you are ready for. We'll take it slow until you are ready to move to the next level", Ben said, his voice soft and gentle as he stroked a loose hair that fell on Rey's forehead and tucked it behind her ear.
Rey shook her head and bit her bottom lip nervously. "Its just that I am a virgin. I've never wanted to give myself to anyone before I met you. It's just although a wave of pleasure was washing over me, I had doubts. I thought that I was ready but then I didn't. I'm sorry", she explained, her voice soft and quiet.
Rey didn't want to equate being a virgin with her fear that Ben wouldn't want to make their relationship public but she thought that her wanting to stop what they were doing because it was her first time would make more sense to say to Ben.
Ben climbed off of Rey's body that he had been straddling and sat at the edge of the couch. Rey sat up too next to him.
"You have nothing to be sorry about Rey. I wouldn't want to push you to do that before you are ready. I want your first time to feel special. You are my special girl after all", Ben told her.
"Was your first time special for you?", Rey asked Ben,
Ben shook his head. "No,not it was pretty awful and didn't last very long. The girl that I was with, I think that I disappointed her because we rushed into it. Hormones raging. I don't want you to be disappointed Rey", he said.
Rey tightened her arms around his chest.
"You could never disappoint me Ben", she exclaimed.
Rey watched as Ben walked to his vehicle and got into the driver's side. She watched as he drove away.
She was nervous to see him in class again. She wasn't sure what to expect from him, wasn't sure how he would act around her after their date.