Finding One's Voice

September 26th, 2015

Medea hummed peacefully as she walked the halls of Chaldea. She couldn't help but giggle in anticipation as she looked down at all the new items she got from the last minute Singularity, and now she could make that new potion she always wanted to make. She could only imagine how the other girls would enjoy this for girls night, though perhaps she should keep this away from Iris…..the Caster nearly shuddered at the memory the last time she tried drinking a potion from the blue haired woman's reserves. That girl had some talent, but when it came to personal safety, she could be quite….ignorant. Medea's thoughts were soon scattered as soon as she saw Carmilla and Liz shouting at each other again. The blue haired woman stared at them silently for a few moments, before deciding to see how she could break them up. That is until she saw Carmilla glance at her and gave a small shake of her head. The Caster nodded, and immediately knew that Carmilla would rather keep this between her, and her younger self, so Medea decided to slowly walk away, and go down a different corridor.

"I swear, those two are going to give Roman a headache one of these days…." Medea muttered.

"Let me guess, Carmilla and Liz are arguing again?" Martha asked. Medea stopped in her tracks and stared at the Rider, who wore a cozy pink sweater and black skirt combo while holding a nice warm mug of hot chocolate.

"How did you know?" The Caster asked.

"They've been arguing almost non-stop for the past few weeks." The Rider sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose in defeat. "I'll go get Da Vinci or Henry and they can sort it out…."

"No, don't bother, just leave them to it." Medea said. "They'll tire themselves out eventually."

"That's what Boudicca said yesterday….." Martha said. "And Margaretha the day before…."

"If no one is getting hurt but their feelings, then there's no need to interfere." Medea replied.

"I suppose you're right…" Martha said. "So, what are you planning with those things?"

"I'm trying to brew a very particular potion." Medea answered.

"A potion? What kind of potion?"

"I'm afraid I cannot tell." The Caster replied. "It's a secret surprise for girl's night, so to speak."

"Oh, then in that case, it would be very rude to pry." Martha replied with a giggle. "A shame I cannot join."

"Perhaps one day, but I really must be going." Medea said. With a pleasant wave, the two girls parted ways and went their separate ways. The blue haired woman eventually arrived at her destination, and saw Iris's lab right in front of her. The Caster gave a slight knock, hoping that the woman would answer.

"Door's unlocked!" A muffled voice said from behind the door. Medea slowly opened the door to the lab, and nearly felt her jaw fall to the floor as she saw the wonders within. Iris's lab was filled to the brim with moving plants, some birds happily chirping in their cages as some swirling vines passed them some bird food, and of course a sphinx cat with a simple bell collar. The blue haired woman nodded in approval at the set up and found Iris scribbling something into her journal, and when the green haired woman was done, she closed her journal and turned to stare at her new guest. "Ah, Medea, so you got what we're gonna need for tonight?"

Medea nodded. "I must say, I'm impressed with your workshop here. Very homey."

Iris chuckled softly. "Thanks, I rarely let anyone in here so it's nice to show it off every now and then."

"Hah! The only person you give full access to this place is Miss Sylvia." The sphinx cat said haughtily. "It's a small wonder why you don't get many visitors!"

"Connor, be more polite in front of guests!" Iris shouted.

"Oh fine, as long as I get a nice bowl of fine milk, I shall concede…." The cat replied. Without uttering another word, the cat slinked away to leave the two women to their work.

"I wasn't aware we had other animals besides Fou here." Medea said.

"Oh, the birds I've been caring for since I was a small girl, and Connor prefers to keep to himself." Iris replied. "He's always been a handful, though I bet Fou would straighten him out."

Medea giggled at the thought. She could only imagine how Fou would use his wily ways to make that cat submit and follow his every lead already. That fluffy critter could be quite charismatic when he put his mind to it. But alas, Medea had to shake those thoughts away and returned her attention to Iris once more. "So, I assume that you study Druidic Magecraft alongside Phantasmal beasts?"

"Aye, I do." Iris answered. "But I'll tell you that story for another day."

The Irish woman slowly reached for her shillelagh, and with great effort, got up onto her feet, making her way towards Medea. The blue haired Caster raised an eyebrow at the sight for a brief moment. She never saw Iris using a walking stick before, nor did she give any indication of having a bad leg either.

"An old wound I suffered when I first came here." Iris said calmly. "Never fully healed either."

"I will not pry." Medea said. "In any event, where would you like to begin the brewing?"

"The lab in the corner will be the best place for the potion." Iris said. "Sylvia's already here to help with the measurements."

"Excellent! Then we should begin right away!" Medea exclaimed. Iris gestured for Medea to follow her further into her abode until they entered the green haired woman's lab. It too, was very homey and had a very earthly feel to it. A nice mahogany desk and a dresser made from simple wood and stone. And off to the side, two small trees with a hammock tied to their trunks, with Sylvia relaxing within, stroking Connor gently pleasing the cat. The woman soon saw Iris and Medea and got up, gently putting Connor down on the ground and cleared her throat.

"So what kind of potion is this?" Sylvia asked.

"Oh, it's something Medea and I had planned for girl's night." Iris answered. "I'll let you know later."

"Oh fine…." Sylvia said with a pout. "As long as it isn't against the rules of our outings, I won't complain."

"On the contrary, it might even help us out tonight." Medea said with an evil grin.

"Oh, then we should probably leave this with me when we're finished." Sylvia answered. "Otherwise Jing Ke might mistake this for booze….."

Medea couldn't help but laugh. "A fair point. But I didn't think she'd be willing to join us."

"She actually expressed interest to join again." Iris answered. "I just convinced her we'd be having lots and lots of alcohol and music."

"Sounds like this woman is a person of simple, and basic tastes." Connor said while licking his paw.

"Some people can enjoy simple things, you know." Sylvia snarked. "A-anyway, we should probably begin before we lose track of time!"

"Okay, let me put this all down at the station, and Iris can get us our ingredients." Medea said calmly. "We'll be here for a few hours at the very least."

Iris nodded and slowly made her way towards one of her desks to pilfer the materials while Medea set up all the flasks and bowls they would need in order to get this potion just right. Sylvia looked through the notes for a moment, before turning her attention to Medea, who seemed to have a bit more of a pep in her step. The Caster noticed the girl's eyes upon her and tilted her head in slight curiosity. "Is everything okay, Sylvia?"

"Oh yeah, it's just…are you feeling okay?" Sylvia asked. "Some of us noticed that you, Carmilla and Jing Ke seemed to be out of sorts for a couple of weeks. It's like all three of you were feeling down in the dumps."

Medea went silent for a moment, her expression was hard to read in that brief time, but Sylvia could sense a pang of hurt and sorrow within the Caster's eyes. But within the span of a second, Medea's eyes soon flashed a brilliant radiance as a smile formed on her lips, a small, weak smile, but a smile nonetheless. "I can't speak for the other two, but I'm feeling a little better. I was just….feeling under the weather for a while, that's all."

"Can you tell me what it was about?"

Medea thought for a moment before taking a deep breath and rubbed the back of her hair softly. "It…is hard to describe. It felt like for the past couple of weeks, I couldn't speak, and this hole filled my chest, just like in the Okeanos Singularity. I felt empty so to speak."

"Empty… but why would Carmilla and Jing Ke have the same issue?" Sylvia asked in a whisper.

"Hard to say, but I did notice they were silent for the past week or so as well." Medea answered. "Carmilla especially wouldn't answer any questions and even let Liz talk over her."

"That's what got everyone concerned." Sylvia replied. "And Jing Ke's drinking had been erratic as well. One day she'd be drinking non-stop, and other days she'd be completely sober."

Medea shrugged. "That woman is a complete mystery to me, but it is concerning now that you mention it."

"Listen, all I wanted to say was that we were all concerned for you three….."

Medea smiled brighter and placed a hand on the girl's shoulder. "I appreciate the sentiment, Sylvia, I really do. But I'll be fine now."

"I see, well if you're going to be fine, then I have no more worries." Sylvia said. "Anyway, what do you need for me to do?"

"Okay, I got all that we need." Iris said as she gently placed the herbs and plants down on the table near them.

"Before we begin, we need to wash the beakers and flasks. Can you help with that, Sylvia?" Medea asked.

Sylvia saluted playfully and immediately went to work on cleaning the working instruments. After a few more minutes, the woman was done and placed them around the table with a smile. "What next?"

"Can you tell me how much we need for the first ingredient?" Medea asked.

Sylvia looked through her notes and hummed to herself. "Actually you need to ground it into a fine powder."

"I'll handle that part," Iris said. "Just tell me how much we need."

"About…. A quarter of hemlock." Sylvia answered.

Iris nodded and grabbed two thirds of the herb, and began to grind it into dust. Sylvia turned to Medea to the next ingredient, the pot already boiling. "We'll now need an entire stock of wolfsbane thrown into the boiling pot."

Medea nodded and threw the wolfsbane into the pot, the reaction causing a puff of purple smoke shot into the air. Medea stirred the pot to get it to the right point for the next step until Sylvia cleared her throat. "Now we need to pour in this…..red liquid and some nightshade into the pot."

"I know exactly how much of both!" Medea chimed cheerfully. Iris nodded without looking up and with a snap of her fingers, several vines appeared, and handed the items to Medea, who then gently threw them into the pot, smoke billowing causing the Caster to cover her face to protect her eyes. Sylvia couldn't help but wonder what it was they were making with such dangerous ingredients, and stared more at the list. Sylvia looked at the ingredients, and a hint of realization hit her. "Oh…..so that's what we're cooking up!"

An evil grin formed on Medea's lips and an evil chuckle from Iris gave her all the information that she needed. "Iris, you know what happened the last time we did this?"

"I know I know, but we have Medea helping out now." Iris countered. "What could possibly go wrong?"

"A fair point." Sylvia said. "It will be safe for us, right?"

"Of course." Medea answered. "For the boys….well, they'll survive."

"Well in any event, the next thing we need is ground up auroch horn." Sylvia replied. "Are you done with the hemlock, Iris?"

"Aye, I got it right here!" Iris said as she sent a vine to hand the mortar to Medea and Sylvia. Iris then grabbed several chunks of the horn and started to grind it up.

"Where did you even get an auroch's horn?" Medea asked. "I heard they went extinct centuries ago."

"Let's just say my grove made our own version of those cows from hell." Iris joked.

"And how did they not destroy your home town?" Sylvia asked.

"With lots and lots of alcohol." Iris answered. "Now they serve as a deterrent for outsiders to not get too close to our grove."

"That's…..actually pretty impressive." Medea said as she continued to stir the pot. "And also terrifying."

Iris nodded and continued to grind the horns into dust until it was ready. With a deft hand, she guided another vine to hand the next portion of the potion towards Medea, who then turned to Sylvia for the next step. The woman looked at the notes and turned her attention towards the table with the final ingredient. A small black bottle with a skull and crossbones printed on the center of the bottle. "Just three drops of this, and the potion should be complete."

Medea nodded as she took the bottle from Sylvia's hands and applied no more than three drops. A black cloud appeared afterwards, also in the form of skull and crossbones, and soon, the potion was complete. As soon as they placed the potion into the correct vials, the two women broke out into evil cackles, as if they came together for an evil plot. All the while, Iris stared at them blankly, trying to figure out if she did the right thing in allowing them to use her lab, and Connor the cat groaned in the background.

"My mistress sure knows how to group with a bunch of weirdos….."

It wasn't often that Carmilla felt morose through the day. She prided herself on being a woman of action; if there was something that needed doing, she attended to it post-haste. If there was a minor noble that needed correction, she flogged him; if there was a bandit camp that needed clearing, she unleashed her hounds on them; if there was a beautiful virgin wasting away their youth…

Regardless, the cold noble was not one to mope about doing nothing. Even on the day of her beloved husband's passing, she was entangled in a web of power plays.

"There is…something that has happened…" moped Carmilla, her eyes turned to the floor as she lounged on the sofa.

It was a terrible feeling to be lacking vitality despite one's body being perfect (beyond perfection in Carmilla's own opinion). It was not a malaise of the flesh, she thought, but of the spirit. Something that was once there, a connection she had grown so comfortable so as to forget…had been severed. Her fingers hung off the sofa's arm, stimming back and forth aimlessly. If she were younger, like that accursed dragon songstress she was arguing with earlier, she would have half a mind to rip apart the upholstery with her long blue nails…

"No, despite everything I think I'm rather too old for such a childish spat," muttered Carmilla, a sardonic smile on her face, "I'm not sure if it would even help…"

The cold woman brought her hand to her throat, cupping the area right above the voicebox. The skin was smooth and perfect, as always, but her voice felt weaker. She could still speak, still sing (not that she would ever inform the dragon), and generally communicate. Though, she could still feel something else missing.

"So you're still feeling the sensation?" A familiar voice asked from the doorway. Carmilla turned to see Medea staring at her with slight concern, the Caster walking towards her slowly with a curious gaze. "May I?"

"I see no reason to refuse." Carmilla answered. "The chair is big enough for two."

Medea nodded and sat down next to the white haired Assassin gingerly, slowly turning away for a second to reach into the mini fridge at the side of the sofa and brought out a bottle of red wine and two glasses. "Might as well start early today, that is if you're planning on joining tonight."

"I am." Carmilla answered. "Whatever is affecting us, it would be uncouth to abandon tonight's revelries."

"I'm glad to hear it." Medea said as she poured the wine into the cups. After the Caster handed Carmilla her glass, the two of them sipped their wine in respectful silence for a few moments before curiosity took hold of Medea. "So, what was that argument over this time?"

"She noticed my dilemma and took the opportunity to say I lost my bark." Carmilla answered before sipping her wine. "Needless to say I took offense to that."

"How did it end?" Medea asked.

"That Medusa woman had to break it up, and rightfully scolded that young brat for what she did." Carmilla smirked. "It was oddly satisfying."

Medusa grinned in amusement. "She and that Lancer seemed to have bonded quite strongly indeed."

"Sickeningly so." Carmilla quipped. "So, how are you…..handling this odd sense of loss?"

"It's been difficult," Medea answered. "But I had Asterios and Euryale visit me for the past couple of days to check on me, and after some time, I managed to at least recover somewhat."

"It's good you had family there for you at the very least." Carmilla replied. The Assassin looked around and noted something curious. "I just noticed you don't have the potion for tonight with you…"

"Ah, I decided to leave that with Sylvia." Medea answered. "She's better with keeping things like that a secret."

"A fair point." Carmilla took another sip of her wine and sighed in bliss. "I'm surprised the wine tastes this fine."

"Indeed." Medea muttered. "You know, I've been wondering about something. What was your life like aside from the….well, you know."

"Are you sure you really want to know more about me?" Carmilla asked.

"Of course!" Medea said after sipping more of her wine. "We're both women of fine taste and station afterall."

"Indeed, princess Medea." Carmilla playfully quipped. The Assassin thought for a moment before finding her answer. "It wasn't like the ballads would have you believe. Life could be harsh, like anywhere else, but I'd say it was similar to yours, aside from certain aspects. Having men and women wait on me hand and foot, enjoying fine music and wine. It was a good life."

"And your marriage? I heard that your husband wasn't as sharp as people thought." Medea said.

Carmilla raised an eyebrow and laughed softly. "He was no politician, I'll admit, but he was clever in the arts of war. He was a fine military commander, at the very least."

Medea grinned. "So I take it you were the real power behind the marriage."

Carmilla raised her glass with a knowing smile. "My name carried more weight than his, so it was only natural that I would be the one who held the reins."

"I bet he didn't like that one bit."

Carmilla laughed. "On the contrary, he was perfectly fine with it."

"So what was he like?"

"Typical military man. But also honest and had a degree of honor to him." Carmilla mused. "He was a fine husband, and pretty decent in the bedroom."

"Sounds like the marriage was a good one." Medea said with a smile.

Carmilla nodded. "We didn't need to be overly affectionate like Queen Andromeda and King Perseus, but Ferenc loved me, and I loved him just as much."

"Well at least one of us had a happy marriage." Medea said calmly.

"Now I have a question for you." Carmilla replied. "What is it like casting magic? I've always been curious about such things."

"That is a bit of a complicated thing to answer." Medea said. "On one end, it is an amazing feeling, being able to have the power of magic at your fingertips. Having the ability to control anything to your whims…..however the downsides are also quite annoying."

"Downsides?"

"That'll have to be a topic for another day." Medea said with a sigh. "Otherwise we would be here all day…"

"I see….." Carmilla muttered. "Well, I do appreciate the answer regardless. In any event, I've been wondering something…how is that Jing Ke person acclimating to Chaldea?"

Medea shrugged. "I heard earlier she was having the same issues we faced."

"Really now? That is unsettling." Carmilla muttered. "No doubt she is drinking herself into a stupor, given what I've heard."

"Perhaps." Medea quipped. "But it is still concerning, is it not, that the three of us feel the same affliction."

"Why not bring her to tonight's meeting? Giving her more alcohol should make her feel better."

"Oh that sounds like a perfect idea." Medea replied. "Though we should make sure she doesn't drink it all, otherwise there won't be enough wine for the rest of the girls."

Carmilla and Medea chuckled in amusement before finishing their wine and sitting down in silence for a few moments. The two of them silently agreed to go pick up Jing Ke in a couple of hours to try and see how the Assassin was feeling, but for right now, they simply wanted to give her her space, and get to know one another a bit more. However, the best way to do that, would be with more wine, and perhaps some nice cubes of cheese.

Meanwhile, out of the corner of their eyes, the two women were being watched from afar by two others with surprised expressions. Medusa and Liz slinked away with blank stares, yet they also felt their hearts freeze a bit.

"So they were both feeling off lately….." Liz muttered.

"I had a feeling that was the case." Medusa whispered.

"Should we do anything?"

Medusa shook her head. "It seems Medea has a handle on the situation, so let her take care of it."

"I see…perhaps that would be for the best. Otherwise that darned countess and I will be coming to blows again." Liz replied.

"Exactly, and I'd hate to give you another scolding today."

Liz gulped. "Y-yes ma'am…."

Without uttering another word, the two women slinked away, trying to be as silent as possible. Medusa knew Medea well enough now to know that the Caster had everything in hand, so there was no need to get involved now.

A couple of hours later, Jing Ke sighed as she drank from her gourd, alone in one of the lounges in Chaldea. Ever since a couple of weeks ago, she'd felt off….just like Carmilla and Medea, she felt as if her voice felt lesser, almost as if she lost it. Having been summoned to Chaldea after the Roman Singularity, she always felt as if something had been off, having remembered how she died to solve the singularity, it felt weird being here not long after…..

Another swig of her gourd buried her thoughts as it became replaced with some of the more pleasant memories since coming here. The drinking competitions with Drake and Medusa, being able to joke around with Astolfo, and most importantly, being able to come up with creative insults regarding a certain mercury drinking emperor with some of the medical staff….. A small chuckle escaped her lips as she thought of more insults for him. However, the smile soon faded, and she felt her heart sink again at the loss of something within her.

"Huh, and here I thought she'd have passed out by now." A familiar, yet sultry voice replied from the doorway.

Jing Ke slowly turned to face the doorway drunkenly and saw Carmilla and Medea standing at the frame staring right at her. "Oh, if it ishin't the dominatrix lady and the nishe mage lady!"

Carmilla and Medea raised their eyebrows at the names, but shrugged it off. The Assassin wasn't exactly wrong, given their experiences in Chaldea so far… Jing Ke soon got up and did a small, yet clumsy bow before offering them some seats next to her. "Have you come to get shome drinksh?"

"Oh no, we already had some wine a couple of hours ago, and we're saving the rest for girl's night." Medea answered as she sat down on Jing Ke's right. The Caster had decided to change into a nice ensemble of a light purple shirt, and a darker purple skirt, with a yellow shawl. It wasn't what Jing Ke expected the Caster to wear, but it definitely looked cute on her, and suited her well. Carmilla, on the other hand, surprised her more, and even if she wasn't in a drunken stupor, Jing Ke would hardly recognize her. The white haired Assassin wore a light colored sweater with a long red jacket with black leather pants, gloves and boots. Jing Ke had seen her in similarly regal outfits, but this time she looked like she was going for a stroll in Paris or New York.

"So that'sh why you're both dresshed up sho nicely!" Jing Ke said happily.

"Why thank you." Medea replied. "And it seems we weren't the only ones who decided to have a change in wardrobe."

Carmilla nodded in amusement. For all of Jing Ke's observations, the Assassin forgot her own attire. The drunken Assassin wore a white business suit with matching white pants, with a golden undershirt. Carmilla hummed to herself in approval of her choice of wardrobe. For how uncouth and odd she could be, Jing Ke definitely knew how to dress to impress. Jing Ke noted her stare and cocked her head to the side. "What's wrong? Do I have something on my face?"

"Oh no, quite the opposite." Carmilla said. "We're here because we feel that you've been feeling the same thing we felt the past couple of days….."

Jing Ke fell silent as she stared into their faces, and sighed. "You girls too huh?"

"I've been able to recover for the most part." Medea answered. "But I know you had a much rougher time of it. So we decided to check to see how you're doing."

"Yeah…..It's been pretty hard." Jing Ke confessed. "But what I usually do is drink and I forget about my problems!"

"Doesn't sound productive." Carmilla muttered. Jing Ke shrugged as she drank more from her gourd. "However, I can understand how…..tumultuous it has been, so I do not have any room to judge."

"Thanks…" Jing Ke said as she put down her gourd. "I just….I feel like something was ripped out of me, and I don't know what to do with that. I feel…..I feel helpless, and lost."

"I know how that feels, all too well." Medea answered. "But this does feel different from what happened in Okeanos. It feels much more personal."

"Indeed." Carmilla added. "Perhaps if we can put our brains together, we might be able to figure something out?"

"Sounds good to me." Jing Ke said, rubbing her chin in deep contemplation. "If all three of us are feeling it, then we must have something in common to warrant it."

"Something in common?" Carmilla asked. "I fail to see how we have anything in common. Well, at least with you. Medea is royalty, while I'm nobility."

"And I'm minor nobility." Jing Ke countered. "And I was a retainer to Crown Prince Dan."

"Ah, right, apologies for letting that slip my mind." Carmilla said honestly. "So I guess we do have some things in common, being involved with high end politics."

"And there IS something that I also noticed, but it's mainly with you two." Jing Ke said. "Both you and Princess Medea sound very alike, frighteningly so."

Medea and Carmilla looked at each other for a few moments, before widening their eyes in realization. Jing Ke was right, they did sound very similar! A glint in Carmilla's eyes caught Medea's attention, and the Caster could see the mischief within. The white haired Assassin wanted to try and mess with some poor souls by using this knowledge to their advantage, which was all Medea needed to agree silently without a word. They could discuss their first victim later during girl's night, and for right now, they had to solve this issue.

"Now that I think about it…..I think we all sound alike!" Jing Ke said.

"That's stretching it." Medea said calmly.

"Yes, that doesn't sound plausible." Carmilla replied. "Perhaps you should stop drinking right now…."

"Oh fine…." Jing Ke said with a pout. "Oh oh! We're all great singer!"

Carmilla stared at Jing Ke with an annoyed glance. "Excuse you?"

"No no, she's got a point there." Medea said. "I've heard Jing Ke sing, and she's really good."

"I can prove it by singing one of…..on second thought maybe I should just stay seated." Jing Ke said as she tried to not fall off her chair drunkenly.

"Well, I guess we do have more in common than I thought." Carmilla said reluctantly. "Perhaps this is why we feel this loss together."

Medea slowly got up and got in between the two Assassins, placing a hand on their shoulders, flashing a gentle, warm smile. "Then it is up to us to be there for one another. Together, we can fill that void once more, and find our way again."

"You really think so?" Jing Ke asked.

Medea nodded. "No matter what happens now, it's up to the three of us to pick up the pieces of what was once lost, and to build a new future together. So, what do you say?"

Carmilla and Jing Ke stared at the Caster for a few moments, before turning to each other. A small smile appeared on both of their faces and the two women nodded to each other, before nodding to Medea.

"Let's do it." Jing Ke said.

"We can't mope around forever, otherwise we wouldn't be able to face whoever we lost in the afterlife." Carmilla replied calmly.

Medea gave a small nod back and helped the two women up. "Now, shall we get ready for girl's night?"

"Lead the way." Carmilla said with a small bow. Medea giggled for a moment before Jing Ke wrapped an arm around her and Carmilla's necks and the three women left the lounge in mirthful glee.

"So, which demon are we summoning tonight?" Jing Ke asked. The two other women looked at her and soon all three of them roared in laughter in amusement. They didn't know who they'd summon, but they all knew one thing…..

The boys would be having their hands full tonight to defend themselves.

This chapter is dedicated in memory of Atsuko Tanaka; the talent behind so many beloved characters such as Medea, Carmilla, Jing Ke, Bayonetta, Lisa Lisa, and of course, Major Kusanagi.

Rest in Peace, Atsuko Tanaka, and thank you for the many wonderful memories.