"Can you please just all shut up?" Hermione's voice rang shrill in her own ears. "You are wasting precious time!"
Everyone around the table instantly went silent and eyed her awkwardly. She sighed deeply. She should be thankful that it actually only took half an hour to gather most of the important people in Shell Cottage, but now, after an hour of talking, she felt like time was running out.
"I don't have time. He said twelve hours, and we already wasted almost two of those. Please. Just let me focus."
"Hermione." It was Kingsley now who tried to talk to her again. After Dumbledore's death and him having to go underground, he had taken on the leadership of the Order of the Phoenix. Everyone at the table look to him as he spoke. "We heard what you said. We understand. But you cannot expect us to just let you walk into such an obvious trap. We will figure out a way to keep you safe. Trust me."
She huffed in annoyance. "No, you won't. How many times do I have to explain. Whatever he did to my magical aura, he can now track me down wherever I am. We would need to destroy my magic in order to hide me. And wherever I am when he finds me, everyone else there will be in danger. It is not a risk I'm willing to take."
"I've never even heard of auras before," Remus interjected, flipping through the pages of a very old book. "How is that possible?"
"Apparently, only really powerful wizards and witches can sense the magical aura of others," Tonks explained as she read through a book of her own. "It's not something ordinary people would ever find useful, so it was probably lost to time."
"Yes, exactly," Hermione cut in, eager to end the conversation. "So, can we just please read through these books in silence? I need all the knowledge I can get before he takes me."
For a moment, the table was silent. Then Molly opened her mouth. "Hermione, dear, are you sure he doesn't just want to capture you and use you as bait for Harry?"
"You know we cannot give him Harry if he demands it, right?" Arthur's voice was quiet and he didn't look at her as he said it.
Hermione could feel her back go rigid. She knew that very well; they didn't have to spell it out like that. Of course, she knew that she didn't matter to the cause as much as Harry did. He was the Chosen One.
"It's alright. I doubt he'll demand that anyway," she replied as cooly as she could.
"Then what does he want with you?" Kingsley pulled the conversation back to himself.
"I don't know, okay? I just know that he needs me for something and I have the feeling that it has something to do with this weird aura thing he's doing to me. So, again, if you want to help me, please, just help me study."
For several minutes after that, it was indeed quiet in the cottage's living room. For a moment, Hermione thought that she finally got through to everyone in the room and that they finally were working towards the same goal as she was.
But the silence only lasted a couple of minutes. It was Ron who disturbed it again, sounding in equal measures angry and scared. "Hermione, why did he kiss you?"
The rest of the Order let out shocked gasps. Outside of Harry, Ron, Bill, and Fleur, nobody else knew about this. She purposefully avoided mentioning it, and she thought the other four got the hint that they should keep quiet about it as well. But of course, Ron had to say something.
"He kissed you?" Molly demanded to know.
"Ewww," the twins made at the same time, "why?"
All eyes were on her now and she realised that she would not be able to escape this conversation. They wasted time with these questions and it infuriated her, but there was no way around it. With an annoyed huff, she closed the book she was reading. "Because he is way more in control than anyone here thinks. He is not the unhinged, unstable murderer that was described to us. His every move is calculated. He has a goal, whatever it is, and everything he does is in pursuit of that goal."
"And how does that explain kissing you?" Harry demanded to know.
She looked him dead in the eye. "It sows seeds of doubt among us, thus weakening the Order. It opens a chasm between me and all of you which makes it less likely for me to get the support I am looking for during these twelve hours. He was not willing to let me go, so he decided to do something that would make the twelve hours less useful."
She shot everyone a demanding look, hoping they would understand that they were doing exactly what he hoped they would right now. But of course, they didn't understand.
What she said was true. She was very sure that this was Voldemort's motive in kissing her so publicly. But she also knew that it was only part of the truth. The other part was something she would never share with anyone. That he kissed her to remind her of how much she wanted him. That he kissed her because he simply wanted to. If she told them that part, it would definitely end in doubt and accusations.
Ron moved his chair closer to hers and grabbed her hands in his. "Mione. If he does that just to mess with us, don't you think he's ready to do even more? Are you really willing to walk right into that?"
For a second, Hermione felt tears well up inside her. She could see genuine worry in Ron's face, a care for her that was deeper than what anyone else here felt for her. It made her wish that there was a different way.
She squeezed his hands. "I know that, Ron. Really, I do. The thought makes me sick. But what choice do I have? Our stupid ritual bound me to him in a way nobody thought possible. I cannot escape that, as much as I wished I could."
Silence again settled over the room as everyone realised the true severity of the situation. An uncomfortable awkwardness prevented them to say anything else. Hermione knew that all members of the Order just now understood what was likely to happen, but nobody wanted to speak it out loud.
She took the chance to return to her studies. She hated how little she knew. It was obvious from the few books they were able to find on the topic that it was indeed a very obscure part of magic, not well researched and not updated for the last century. So far, she couldn't even find a properly described use for the aura.
Determined not to feel defeat just yet, she shoved all her worries down and concentrated on the text before her. She would find something that helped her.
"I don't know how much he saw," Hermione explained quietly to Remus and Kingsley. While the rest of the Order was busy compiling all their findings into one document, she sat down with the two leaders to help them figure out a way forward. "We have to assume that he saw every single memory I have. I don't know how long I was out, but I think a skilled Legilimens like himself would be able to sift through my mind pretty quickly."
The two men nodded gravely. Remus took notes, while Kingsley rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "We will need to build the organisation anew. We need to relocate Bill and Fleur, that should be our first priority."
"Yes," she agreed, "but another priority should be Potterwatch. Lee could be in danger now that Voldemort might know how the radio works. He needs to change all codenames and think of a new way to come up with passwords. It might be best if he went silent for a couple of weeks while you all helped him figure out a new way to do this safely."
"I will see what I can do," Kingsley assured her with his deep, rumbling voice.
"Also, if you at all used any place as headquarters that I might have known, please change it. Even if I don't know that place is currently used that way, I think it's safe to assume that You-Know-Who will investigate any place that might even be slightly fitting."
She could see Kingsley's expression darken. So she did know whatever place they were currently using. She cursed inwardly. The bloody ritual really did make everything more complicated. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
Instantly, Remus looked up and put a hand over hers. "No, don't apologise, Hermione. You did whatever you could to complete your mission."
"I just wished you had consulted any of us first," Kingsley added to that. He sounded less warm than Remus, very obviously struggling not to blame her. "If we had known, we could have helped. Any of us."
She simply nodded. How often had she thought the same thing? But of course, Harry wanted to respect Dumbledore's wishes to keep the Horcruxes a secret, so none of them told anyone else. It was different now. With Voldemort now knowing for certain what they tried to do, even Harry agreed to tell the rest of the Order. They were equally shocked and horrified from the realisation just how monstrous their opponent was.
As she focused back on the present conversation, a sudden thought jumped into her mind that brought a fresh wave of panic. "My parents! How could I forget? He must have seen what I did. They'll be in danger now!"
Remus instantly was on the case. "By Merlin, nobody of us thought to keep them safe. Where are they now?"
She never told anyone was she did to her parents. While she still thought it was the best course of action at the time, she couldn't help but expect the others to judge her. Nervously, she met Remus' eyes. "I … tampered with their memories. They're in Australia now, I don't know where, but I expect that if he wanted to, You-Know-Who might be able to find them. Maybe he already has. Why didn't I think of this earlier?"
Kingsley raised an eyebrow. "You tampered with their memories?"
"I used a slightly altered memory charm to make them forget about me. It also made them think they wanted to move to Australia. They were safe there, until now, but if he saw that memory, who knows?"
"Hermione," Kingsley said emphatically, "you cannot just go around using magic on muggles. You know that, right?"
The guilt that she had felt all along suddenly turned into fiery anger, bursting out of her before she could control it. "Oh, please! What choice did I have? Should I have left them as they were, always in danger to be attacked and killed?"
"You could have left them with us," Remus suggesting carefully.
"And what then? Have them put their lives on pause for several months? Nearly a year by now? Constantly worrying about me because they don't understand what's going on? They deserve to live a happy, carefree life just as they did before all this."
Kingsley sighed deeply. "I hear what you're saying. But just because it's easy doesn't mean it's always right."
"Easy?" Hermione stood up from her chair and took a step back. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You think that was easy?"
Remus opened his mouth, but she was not willing to listen to anything else. "No. Just … don't. You will find them and you will protect them. That is all that matters. What is done is done. I can't turn back the clock anyway."
With that, she left them where they were. She expected that others would react negatively to her actions, but that Shacklebolt would tell her it was easy? Blazing fury coursed through her veins. She had given up so much already and was about to give up the little bit that she had left. She didn't expect anyone to thank her for that, but a little bit of compassion would have been nice. Was that really too much to ask?
Just as she was about to sit down at the long table of silently studying members of the Order, Ron grabbed her hand and pulled her away, outside of the cottage. Curious, she let him
"Mione," he began, his voice trembling and his cheeks slightly flushed. "I know this is probably the worst time, but I just have this feeling that if I don't say anything now, I'll never get the chance."
Her pulse quickened. She felt herself unable to produce any sounds, so she just nodded encouragingly while licking her lips.
"You are bloody brilliant and I know, Harry would have died a thousand times without you. I would have. I don't know how we can manage going forward once you're … gone. But we will. I promise you. I will stop complaining about everything and just suck it up and help Harry." He took a deep, shuddering breath. "But I want you to know … I need you to know that … that I love you."
Warmth spread through her entire body, rapidly replacing any anger she felt just a moment ago. She did not fight the tears that formed in her eyes. Instead, she slung her arms around his neck and pulled him into a soft, gentle kiss.
He stayed still for a second, before answering the embrace and sighing into the kiss. Hermione allowed herself to get lost in it. To dream about a different future, one that revolved around this sometimes awkward, sometimes stupid boy. This boy who never failed to make her laugh and who, despite his own struggles, would always come around and be there for her. It would be a good future.
"I love you too," she whispered against his lips before pulling away slightly.
She wasn't sure whether she really felt love for him, but the warmth that enveloped her body right now made those words just feel right. She put both of her hands around his face and looked up at him with a determined expression. "Whatever might happen, we will get through this, okay?"
He nodded. "Okay."
She wanted to say more, say anything, to really show him that she cared about him. But in that moment, Harry stepped outside. Instantly, Ron let go of her and pushed her away a bit.
"There you are," Harry said, his face strangely devoid of emotion. "Can we talk? Just the two of us?"
She caught the flicker in Ron's gaze as his eyes darted between them. The wound of thinking there was something between her and Harry still hadn't closed, it seemed. She tried to smile at him. "Can you check in with the others, see how much is left of the compilation of our findings?"
It was obvious that he didn't want to go, but he still nodded and went inside. When the door closed behind him, Harry turned to her.
"You need to be careful, Hermione," he began. "You don't know him like I do. He's good at reading your worst fears and using them against you. He will manipulate you. It's worrying that we don't know what exactly he wants with you, but you have to remember that whatever it is, it can't be good."
"I know that. More than you think."
He looked away for a heartbeat, as though unsure how to continue. Then he looked back at her, his eyes full of concern. "He used to be handsome and charming. From everything we know about his younger years, no witch could resist him. Don't … don't fall for that."
She scoffed. "You don't really think I could fall in love with the Dark Lord? Seriously, Harry?"
"I just … he kissed you and you didn't resist. You asked something of him and he gave it to you. I just fear that it is all a ploy to make you like him. He's powerful and supposed to be intelligent. It wouldn't be strange for someone like you to fall for someone like him." He no longer was able to look her in the eye as he said that.
"Harry Potter," Hermione replied as calmly as she managed. She never felt more insulted in her life, but she tried to focus on his good intentions instead. "You-Know-Who is a racist fascist who hates muggles and muggleborn. It is his one goal in life to eradicate people like me. Do you really think I would be tempted by a bit of power and a pleasing smile?"
He blanched. "When you put it like that…"
"How else should I put it?"
"No, sorry, you're right. Of course you're right. I just can't get that kiss out of my mind, is all." He sounded defeated now, as though he still didn't quite believe her, but also didn't want to fight about it.
For the hundreds time today, Hermione sighed. "Thank you for your worry, Harry. I understand why you are concerned. But please, believe me. There is nothing he could do that would make me forget who he is. Nothing."
Finally, he smiled at her and pulled her into a hug. She pressed him against herself as tightly as she could, knowing that this would probably be the last time she got the chance to do so. The whole of the wizarding world counted on Harry Potter, but to her, he was just a reckless boy who she constantly worried about. Maybe this was the worst part of it all. Knowing that now, she wouldn't be around to keep him alive.
"Come," she said before tears could drown her determination, "let's see what the others got. I will be better prepared than he ever expects. He'll know what it means to mess with Hermione Granger before this war is over."
Harry grinned. "He'll regret ever touching you."
"Indeed he will."