Perry yawned and rolled over on his back as he heard an alarm go off in the background. Suddenly, the bed surrounding him was shaking, and he reluctantly opened his eyes to see Phineas popping out from under the covers. "Good morning, Perry." He rubbed Perry's stomach, and Perry let out a mindless chatter of gratitude before rolling back over onto his legs.
Phineas hopped out of bed. "Ferb, come on! It's Saturday- let's go get our homework done and go build something!"
"I'm coming," came the calmer reply from the bed on the opposite side of the room. Perry glanced over to see Ferb climbing out of bed before turning around to adjust the sheets.
Perry hopped off of Phineas' bed to allow him to do the same. He resisted the urge to yawn again and glanced at Phineas' clock; 7:01 AM. There was no way Doof would be ready to meet up for another few hours, so he could hang out with the Flynn-Fletchers some. Or get another quick nap... Perry closed his eyes and settled on the floor, allowing himself another rest before starting his day.
Suddenly he felt arms wrap around his back and pick him up. Never mind, apparently that wasn't in the cards. "Let's go have breakfast," Phineas said, holding Perry by the sides and leaving the bedroom
Fine, I guess breakfast is a good idea.
As the boys entered the hallway, Perry heard a muffled groan from another room. "Can you please be quiet? Some of us want to sleep in longer on the weekend." Candace.
"Oh." Perry heard Phineas' voice behind him. "Sorry, Candace," he whispered before continuing to walk down the stairs.
Once in the kitchen, Phineas set Perry down in front of his breakfast dish before racing over to the cabinets. Out of the corner of his eye, Perry saw Ferb crouch down, and the young boy gave Perry a gentle rub on the head. Perry closed his eyes and pressed into his hand, resisting the urge to smile. After the...chaotic day he had the day before, getting to relax with the boys on their day off was nice.
Phineas came back with a can of Perry's food and dumped it into his bowl. Ferb pulled away from Perry, and the latter leaned forward and took a bite of his breakfast. It wasn't his favorite meal, but for basic pet slop it actually wasn't that bad. Plus he had gotten used to it over the past six years, to the point where he enjoyed it, to a certain extent. When he first had been adopted by the Flynn-Fletchers, he hadn't gotten used to pet food yet and struggled to even swallow the stuff, but adapting helped loads.
He heard ceramic clink against wood as the boys began to make their own breakfast, most likely the cereal they always enjoyed. They worked in silence for a surprising amount of time- with Phineas being in the room and all- before Perry heard the redhead finally say something. "So, Ferb, for our History homework, should we work on a presentation about the Prehistoric times? We did visit them last summer."
"Alright. What about the caveman we rescued?"
He heard Phineas snap his fingers. "That's right! What better way to give a presentation about a time period than to have an actual subject of that time period with you?" There was a pause. "Oh, but he vanished. Who knows where he is by this point."
His back turned to the boys, Perry smirked. Yeah, right. When had that ever stopped them?
As if on cue, he suddenly heard Phineas' iconic phrase. "That's it! Ferb, I know what we're going to do today! Let's make a prehistoric tracker and go find Conk!"
Sounded like they had their day scheduled, then. Perry took the final bite of his breakfast and padded over to the table, where the boys had just settled down with their cereal. "But first," Phineas was saying, "let's finish the rest of our homework. Ferb, what do you think you're going to write your English paper on?"
Silence. "Not sure yet, huh?" Phineas munched on his cereal, swallowing it before grinning. "I have an idea! I think I want to write my argumentative essay on why Santa exists. It shouldn't be that hard, especially because we know he exists. We just met him a couple Christmases ago!"
Perry walked away from the boys, who were beginning to pull out their notes for school and needed to be left alone for homework, hopping back up the stairs to see who else was awake. Probably not Candace, but there was a chance Linda and Lawrence might be.
However, after padding back and forth down the hallway, he came to the conclusion that either none of them were awake yet or none of them wanted to be bothered, so he bounded back down the stairs and went outside, curling up under the shade of the tree. He yawned, curled his tail around his legs, and closed his eyes. Time to rest.
(...)
A buzz and ping shocked him awake, and Perry jumped onto all-fours before realizing what the source was. It was his watch. Perry sighed and looked down at his wrist, settling back onto the ground. Penny had sent a text. Do we have to meet today?
Crap, Perry hadn't even thought about OWCA. Work was the last place he wanted to be, since things with both Jordan and Penny- and probably Astrid also- would be much more tense than usual. Plus he was going to meet up and chat with Doof in... He glanced at his watch. 8:31... two or three hours.
No. We're not.
Well, that was certainly to the point. Maybe passive-aggressive, too. He must have really gotten under Jordan's skin, then.
Perry stretched across the grass and hopped back on all-fours. He had been a bit too harsh, though. Maybe he wouldn't apologize to Jordan- he still didn't completely regret what he said- but he'd at least try to tone it down a bit. It's not his fault, Perry heard a voice echo in his mind.
He ruined my life. Perry scowled.
But that wasn't him.
Even though he wasn't directly responsible, who's to say that means he's trustworthy?
Perry sighed. Was he really arguing with a voice in his head? Great, now he was reaching new levels of pathetic.
Perry padded back into the house, entering the kitchen to see the boys had vanished- probably on their new mission to find their caveman from the summer before- and Linda and Lawrence were inhabiting it instead. "Morning, Perry," Linda said from the kitchen counter.
"Morning," Perry replied, passing through the kitchen on his way to the stairs. Clearly they didn't understand him, but it was nice to speak back to them anyway, like they did know what he was saying.
As he walked up the stairs, his thoughts drifted back to the previous summer, when Phineas and Ferb- and their friends and Candace- had actually learned that he was an agent. He had done his best to hide it, but the boys were about to be put in danger, and he couldn't just let them get beaten up. Thankfully they were able to have their minds erased, but that day... Though it was one of the most dangerous missions he had had in a long time, it had been great to work with the kids like they were all equals and show them the life that he lived the majority of the time.
Even though he knew that if they learned the truth again, he'd need to be relocated, he couldn't help but wish for a chance to let the kids know the truth again, just to relive that day- preferably without the chance that they could all perish in lava or be blasted by an evil robot.
"Perry, be careful where you stand." Perry blinked and looked up to see Candace standing over him, still in her pajamas. "If you stand on the edge of the stairs like that, someone's gonna trip and get hurt."
Perry risked turning around. Sure enough, he was near the corner of the wall, standing directly in front of the stairs. He must have gotten so lost in his thoughts that he forgot to keep moving. Before he could move, though, he heard movement and felt arms wrap around him and pick him up by the stomach. "Let's go this way instead."
He expected her to hold him at arms' length like she always had, or at least carry him downstairs, but instead she was taking him to...her bedroom? Perry blinked again. Was Candace really not trying to distance herself from him? Was she feeling alright?
Less than a year ago, she would have called him gross, picked him up reluctantly, and practically dropped him back on the floor. As the summer progressed, she began to treat him with less hostility and even a bit of what he hoped was love, and it had continued to grow throughout the fall and winter.
Perry couldn't help the smirk from coming to his face as Candace brought him in her room and closed the door behind her. Finally, he was growing on her. Only took six years.
Candace set him on the bed and sat down next to him, beginning to stroke his back. Perry laid down on all-fours, reveling in the unusual affection from the teenager.
Suddenly, after a few minutes of sitting in a comfortable silence, he heard Candace sigh and pull her hand away. "It must be nice to be in your position," she mumbled. "No homework, no college to start thinking about, no arguments with any friends."
Perry resisted the urge to snort. She had no idea.
"There really wasn't any reason for me to insult Jennie's passion like that," Candace was continuing. "It's just- I mean, a Little Penguin awareness march? They're not even in danger of being endangered! And of course it's right at the same time that I'm supposed to-" She sighed again. "And I'm ranting to a platypus."
Perry stood back up, turned around, and looked up at her. She was slouching forward, her head rested dejectedly against her hand, which was held up by her elbow which balanced precariously on her soft mattress. He hesitated. This was either going to get him killed or cheer her up. He stepped forward and gently prodded Candace's arm with his bill. "You were saying?" he chattered at her.
To his surprise, Candace picked him up and rested him on her lap. "I just wish she wasn't so busy all the time. Stacy and Jeremy are always free when I need them, but this is a big deal and she... She can't even make it. I- I know big parties aren't her thing, but I'm performing. It will be my first time performing for a bunch of strangers, and everyone else I know is going to make it."
She resumed stroking him for a few more minutes, and they continued to sit in silence. After what was probably a good ten minutes, Candace placed him back on the bed and stood up. "Thanks, Perry. I guess I needed that." She gently pat his head. "I guess you can hang out in here if you want. I'm gonna go eat breakfast and come back up to get some homework done."
With that, she left her bedroom, leaving Perry there alone. He curled back up on her mattress and closed his eyes, resuming the nap that had been interrupted earlier. He still had plenty of time before he was going to meet up with Doof, after all.
(...)
However, time flew quickly, and after his nap (and after spending a bit more time with Candace as she got her homework finished) Perry headed downstairs to get to his lair to go meet up with Doofenshmirtz. The living room was completely vacant, so after checking and double-checking to make sure no one was nearby, Perry got on two feet and pulled out his fedora before hopping to the top of the couch, lifting up the mirror, and entering his lair entrance behind it.
Once in his lair, Perry hopped off his chair and got on his motor scooter, driving off down the street to find Doof. Unfortunately, in the short span of time they had used to plan the meeting, he wasn't exactly sure where to find him, so Perry decided to head for his apartment and hope for the best.
Luckily, when he made it upstairs and knocked on Doof's door, the ex-evil scientist answered. "Perry the Platypus!" he exclaimed. "You made it! For coffee like we planned, right?"
"Yeah, I just didn't know where you meet you."
Doofenshmirtz turned around and walked back into his apartment. "Well, come on in-" He paused and turned around again. "Wait, I don't have my translator on me right now. I totally forgot I'm not supposed to hear your little chirping noise anymore."
Perry sighed and pressed his paw against his forehead. Of course he did. In his defense, he had only had it for a few months after years of just assuming he knew what Perry was saying. It was probably a miracle he hadn't screwed that up sooner.
"One second, let me go get that in." Doof ran out of the room. Perry sighed again, crossing his arms. This was probably gonna take a while.
Only seconds later Doofenshmirtz ran back in. "Okay, Perry the Platypus, I have it and it's turned on."
Really? Perry blinked. Impressive. "So you're ready to go, then?"
Doof hesitated, glancing around his apartment. "I...suppose so. This feels weird, though. I'm not used to leaving my apartment to hang out with you- usually we just do all that here."
"Yeah, but you're also not making evil inventions that require me to stop by daily anymore though," Perry reminded him as they walked back out the door. "And you're not living with the Murphys, either."
"Well, I suppose so." Doof paused. "I'm glad I'm not an evil scientist anymore, but I do miss our daily fights."
Perry glanced at him and cocked an eyebrow. "Seriously? You wish I was still beating you up?"
Doof hesitated as they stepped in the elevator, and he awkwardly placed his hand on the back of his neck. "I guess that came out wrong, didn't it? No, I'm okay not waking up with a black eye every day. I just meant it gave me an excuse to see you everyday. Nowadays it seems like we're lucky if we see each other every week."
"I guess you're right." Perry hesitated. "I miss that, too, but I'm still an OWCA agent and need to do my job. And now that you're not affiliated with LOVEMUFFIN or OWCA anymore, I just can't spare the same time to visit you."
"Oh, well, you're free today, right?" Doof looked down at Perry, hope shimmering in his blue eyes. "Right? So we can spend all day together?"
Perry smiled back up at him, giving him a thumbs up. "Totally."
"Whoopee!" The elevator stopped and Doof ran out, nearly whacking a random lady waiting to enter the elevator with his arms. "Then what are we waiting for, Perry the Platypus? Let's get going!"
(...)
Once they made it to the coffee shop, Doof glanced down at Perry. "And that's what you want? Tea?"
Perry shrugged. "Not really a coffee person."
"Alright. I'll meet you in the park in a few minutes, then." Doof opened the door to walk inside. Perry turned to walk away, but his attention was immediately called back to the frame by Doof's voice. "Wait, if I'm going to enter a coffee shop..." He adjusted his lab coat. "I should probably bring out my coolness. Brb, Perry the Platypus." He smirked at Perry, who was resisting the urge to completely ignore him, and gave him a finger gun. "See how hip I am right now? I'll blend right in." With that, he strutted in to the building.
Perry crossed his arms and smirked as he saw Doof make a complete fool of himself through the glass doors. Luckily, no one else was paying attention to the scientist, so it came across as much more amusing than humiliating.
Once Doof got in line to order, Perry walked away to the park that was right across the road from the shop. Not very far into the park there was an empty bench, so Perry ran over and claimed it, hopping on top. He was in view of the coffee shop, so even if Doof didn't see him he could call Doof over. Plus, there was a bush right next to the bench, so if someone that knew Perry came close, he could just hop in and hide till they went away.
Settled on the bench and waiting for Doof to return, Perry stared up at the sky. For the third or fourth time that morning, his mind drifted back to his arguments with Jordan and Penny the day before. How was she? He had never seen her get so angry before, not for physical force. Was it really only his argument with Jordan that had gotten her so worked up? Was she doing alright? Maybe it was the result of more than just that one argument, no matter how intense it might have been.
Perry sighed, his gaze falling to the bench. Either way, he had definitely let her down. So much for keeping his word to get along with the team. He inhaled deeply. He had to accept the truth. Even if he didn't like Astrid or Jordan, Penny really wanted him to act...like he didn't hate them. At least so he could be professional with them. At this rate, even if he didn't want to and didn't love Penny more than he could express, he basically owed it to her to get along with the team anyway. And Maxwell was alright, too. But the idea of working any longer on a team with Jordan and Astrid was just... far from exciting.
He hesitated. Maybe he could do both- avoid working on the team while keeping Penny happy? He could convince Penny that he could cooperate with the others, but at the same time to his best to convince everyone that he really didn't belong on the team. Then, just so he didn't lie to his little sister, if she asked what he was doing, he could just tell her the truth; he was cooperating with them, like she wanted, but he didn't want to be on the team any longer. And if somehow he changed his mind and decided to stay on the team, then everyone would be happy.
"Perry the Platypus, are you alright?"
Perry was pulled out of his thoughts, nearly jumping off the bench in the process. "Doof! You scared me."
"Sorry." Doof handed him his drink. "I got your tea. The line was really short. But you were really lost in thought there, I guess." He sat down next to Perry. "What was going on?"
"I..." Perry sighed. "Never mind. You were going to talk to me about something important, right?"
"Yeah, but so were you. Perry the Platypus, you have some things you need to explain to me. Like the fact that you have a sister and never told me." Doof sipped his coffee, his eyes never leaving Perry's. "Explain."
Perry took a sip of his own drink, rolling his eyes. "Fine." He set his cup down. "Yes, I do have a little sister. Her name's Penny."
"Oh, so she's Penny the Platypus and you're Perry the Platypus!" Doof hesitated. "Wait, how come your names are similar? I thought you got your name from your host family, so-" He paused and his eyes widened. "Do you have the same host family?"
"No, no." Perry looked away, pretending to find an interest in the grass across the sidewalk from the bench. "She...actually doesn't have a host family. But you're right, I did get my name from my host family."
"So then..."
Perry ignored Doof's obvious prodding. Penny probably didn't feel comfortable with him telling someone else- especially a blabbermouth like Doof- the truth. "And before you ask 'Since when' like you did yesterday, she hatched about...well, a little less than a year before I met you."
Doof gasped. "You had a sister before we even met? I thought for sure you'd say she was at least born after!"
Perry sighed. "Well, she was born before we met."
"Huh." Doof was only silenced for a brief moment. "And she's an OWCA agent too, right?"
"Yeah."
"Wait a minute..." Doof glanced at Perry again. "Perry the Platypus, what about your parents? They're OWCA agents too, aren't they?"
Perry resisted the urge to flinch: even an idiot- lovable, but still an idiot- like Doof would pick up on that, and there was no way Perry felt like trying to explain that whole situation to him that day. "Yes," he said, carefully avoiding his gaze, "they were OWCA agents also."
"Wow, Danville has a lot of platypi." This time, Doof actually fell quiet for longer than a few seconds. Unfortunately, as Perry sipped his drink again, the scientist resumed talking. "Why is that? I thought they were from Australia?"
Perry glanced up at him, both confused and irritated at his question. "Seriously? You learned this when you were an OWCA Trainee."
Doof just shrugged. "Clearly I didn't learn it. They may have taught it to me, but I have no memory of that lesson."
"Whatever. I might as well remind you." Perry set his drink down again. "A little over a century or so ago, there was an evil Australian organization that was hunting platypuses down and experimenting on them. OWCA's Australian branch managed to defeat them, but when they tried to rescue the platypuses, they realized the experiments had caused them to start becoming a bit more...anthropomorphic."
"Oh, like you!" Doof hesitated. "I might vaguely remember that. Then for some reason the OWCA here decided to take responsibility for them, right?"
Perry nodded. "Yeah, OWCA was worried that people in Australia who were used to platypuses might start noticing the differences in the new experimented platypuses and would lead to unwanted prying. OWCA figured that if they just brought the platypuses here, any...experimental differences would simply be accepted by the civilians here as facts about all platypuses, since they weren't experienced with platypi the same way they were in Australia." He paused. "Plus I think OWCA was running low on agents here anyway."
"I do remember that now! You're right! I did learn that!" Doof hesitated. "That means there are other platypus agents at OWCA too, then, right? Wait... Are you all related, since you're all descended from the same group of platypi?"
Perry shook his head. "The organization that was experimenting on them...had a lot of test subjects. We actually apparently started going endangered because of it, although OWCA had to do their best to hide it from the public eye."
"Then the Tri-State Area really does have a lot of platypi." Doof sat in silence, staring off into some void. "Huh."
Perry embraced the silence, drinking his tea and looking up at the pleasantly clear blue sky. It wasn't summer yet, but it was getting closer.
"Perry the Platypus, one more question." Perry glanced back at Doof, who was watching him curiously. "When I came over you were really deep in thought. If I've learned one thing recently, especially actually hearing you speak now, it's that you absolutely never talk about your personal life. But... Do you need to?"
Perry blinked and turned to properly look at the scientist this time. Doof was staring at him intently, his blue eyes practically tearing through Perry's fur. Perry cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably on the bench. "I... Uh..." He sighed. "Sure. After I left your place yesterday, things...got pretty bad."
Doof cocked his head. "In what way?"
"I...have a pretty rough relationship with most of the agents at OWCA." Perry looked away from Doof. "I'm a lone wolf- you know that. But... Right now Monogram's trying to force me into a team with other agents. Agents I don't even like that much, and certainly agents that don't like me."
"Is that why you were with that green platypus yesterday?"
"Maxwell? Yeah. He's okay, though." Perry sighed. "But one of the other agents- she's really arrogant and stuck-up. But I can deal with her. But then another agent... I just can't stand him. And the issue is... It's not even really his fault. It definitely is to a certain extent- not really a big fan of his personality. But... Not only do I have to be on a team with him, but I have to obey him because Monogram designated him as leader of the team." Perry set his tea down again and pulled his knees to his chest, staring at the bench. "And I just can't."
"Is...there a specific reason why you can't?"
"I..." Perry shook his head. "There is, but... I don't really want to talk about it."
"But-" Doof broke off, hopefully realizing how seriously Perry meant that sentence. "Alright. But it's not really his fault?"
"No... Not quite."
"Then is there any reason you can't tell him?"
Perry gave Doof an exasperated stare. "If I can't tell you, do you really think I could tell him why I hate him straight to his face?"
Doof raised his hands defensively. "Hey, I don't mean share all your deepest secrets. Trust me, I know that's hard for you, I've been around you long enough. But if it led to things getting 'really bad,' as you said, yesterday, then it's probably only fair to try and tell him a little bit. Just so that he knows you have a foundation for your hatred."
"I..." Perry fell silent, mulling over what Doof was saying. After a minute, he sighed again. "You...might be right. God, I can't believe I'm actually taking your advice."
"I know, right? I can't believe it either. I never give good advice." Perry looked over to see the scientist thoughtfully stroking his chin. "It must be Vanessa rubbing off on me."
"Well... Thanks, I guess." Perry grabbed his drink and took a larger gulp of it, the tea finally begin to cool down more. "Anyway, enough about me. You wanted to talk to me for a reason, right?"
"Right. Okay." Doof chugged down some coffee before looking Perry straight in the eye. "Perry the Platypus."
"Yes?" Doof scooted closer, and Perry awkwardly backed a bit further away.
"I have... a date tonight!" Doof pulled back, returning to his original position as a big grin enveloped his face. "Can you believe it?"
"You... What?" Perry fell silent, attempting to process this. "You have a date?"
"You don't have to sound so mean about it." Doof pouted, crossing his arms. "I've had a surprising amount of dates, thank you very much. You've seen a lot of them."
Yeah, Perry had seen them go poorly one way or another. Except that one evil chick he had met the summer before... But Doof never talked about her, so that didn't work out either, even if Perry didn't know exactly why.
"But yeah!" the scientist was saying. "I met her online. Her name's Rebecca."
"Alright." Perry stared at him, still having trouble fully wrapping his head around it. "Congratulations, I guess?" As much as Perry liked to tease Doof for his trouble with getting a girl, he's had way more dates than Perry had ever had. ...Then again, Doof was looking for love, and Perry really didn't care about trying to find it. He had Penny and the Flynn-Fletchers, why should he care about needing anyone else?
"Perry the Platypus, you don't understand." Doof cleared his throat. "I really don't want to mess things up with Rebecca. We've been talking online, and I think I really like her."
Perry crossed his arms. "You didn't 'stretch the truth on the Internet,' did you? If you did you're already screwed."
Doof scowled. "Sometimes I miss the days when I couldn't understand you, you know that?"
Perry just chuckled, shaking his head. "It's not an insult, it's a fact. Every time you've lied about yourself to someone who could be your partner, things haven't worked out. Remember Rosie? Last summer?"
Doof sighed, his head hanging. "Well... I didn't stretch the truth that much this time... Just a bit. Is it really that bad?"
"How do you expect to form a genuine bond with someone if they don't know who you really are?" Perry cocked his head. "That's what happened with Rosie last year- you sure as hell don't square dance. If you had told her that right off the bat, it's possible she'd have offered to teach you or something instead of just abandoning you like she actually ended up doing."
"Then what do I do with Rebecca?"
"Simple." Doof was hanging his head dejectedly, so Perry leaned forward and placed his paw on Doof's leg. "Tell her the truth tonight. That you lied, but you felt like if you didn't she wouldn't like you. Then if she decides to walk out on you or something anyway, it's not your fault because you deserve someone better."
"Wow." Doof looked up at Perry. "Perry the Platypus, you're really good at this love stuff. Do you have a girlfriend?"
"Nope, not interested."
Doof's gaze didn't leave Perry's face, and the platypus shifted awkwardly as he felt Doof's eyes prying into him. "Boyfriend?"
Perry hesitated before shaking his head. "Still no." He shrugged. "Just never found someone, you know? I'm not really actively looking for it the same way you do."
"I guess." Doof leaned back. "Either way, you give really good advice." He paused before holding up a finger. "And that leads perfectly into what I was going to ask you. Perry the Platypus..." He leaned forward again. "Will you be my wingman?"
Perry held up his paw. "Hold on, didn't I try that before? Sure didn't work with Rosie."
The scientist just rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but you said that the main issue there was that I lied to her too much. Besides, I just couldn't understand you before. "
"I won't be close enough for you to hear what I'm saying anyway."
"You don't have to be there all the time," Doof said with a sigh. "Just for my date tonight, like, looking through the window or something? Then if Rebecca and I hit it off and decide to go on more dates, you don't have to be there- you can just give me advice when I need it, like you just did."
Perry watched Doof carefully for a solid minute, drinking his tea. "Alright," he said finally, a smile coming to his face. "I'll do my best."
"Yay!" Doof excitedly waved his arms around, and Perry gripped onto his drink for dear life in case the scientists accidentally knocked it out of his paws. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, Perry the Platypus!"
"No prob." Perry grinned and shrugged, relaxing his hold on the cup. "What are friends for?"