There he was, sitting on the balcony floor. The pots that had been broken long ago were still there, unmoved. Killua never gained the motivation to clean up. It wasn't like it would matter, the place would only end up trashed once again. He was very good at having tantrums and making a mess of the places around him. However, this time, he wasn't out there to cry or throw a fit. He was there knowing he had a choice to make. He didn't really know what to do or what the right steps were. But the idea that he had an actual choice scared him.

Sighing, blue eyes looked at the letter that Gon, the upstairs neighbor, had left. It was short, with words that were simple and to the point. Yet, it left a deep and heavy weight on Killua's shoulders. Much heavier than the pain of when he would take a blade to his skin.

{I'm moving at the end of my lease, which is 2 months from today. You are invited to join me. I'll be waiting until 6 p.m. in my car in spot 152.}

To some, the choice was simple and clear. Killua needed to take the invitation and leave. Never come back and finally escape his abusive boyfriend. That, however, wasn't the way that Killua found himself thinking. He couldn't help but wonder if he was really the one who was meant to receive this letter, or if the offer should have been given to his boyfriend. After all, Killua knew he was just as horrible. That he too snapped, yelled, and at times hit. He was far from prefect when it came to the relationship that he was in. What if he truly was the issue? What if he was the abusive one and not the other way around? It wasn't like his boyfriend hadn't called him such a thing before. And the more that Killua began to think about it, the more the fear set in.

If he was in fact abusive, would he be abusive to Gon as well?

Could he live with the fact that he hurt Gon? Someone who just wanted to help him because they didn't know the full story.

Killua took the note and crumpled it up. He didn't need help. Not when he wasn't sure if he was the victim or simply playing as one.

Life has a funny way of making it harder than it needs to be. Gon had always known this and, for the most part, was pretty content with every trial that life threw his way. This time, he wasn't all too sure he was ready for what was to come. His grandmother was sick, and his aunt had warned him that she might not have much time left. She didn't have to ask; Gon already knew what his aunt wanted from him. And it was to come back home. Gon didn't hate the small island he was from. But it wasn't where he wanted to live for the rest of his life. Yet he felt bitter that his grandmother wasn't doing well and that his aunt was using it as a way to get him to come home.

It was torture to feel like he was in a tight spot between being a good grandson and keeping his freedom. At the end of the day, the guilt was too much, and when the renewal for his lease came, he turned in a notice that he would be moving out.

In truth, he had more than two months to move out. However, it wasn't until the two-month mark that he had the idea of inviting Killua to join him. Sure, it was a crazy idea. He had no idea how Killua looked or if he was safe to have around. Still, none of that mattered to Gon. All he could think of was selfishness. And it was to bring a friend along for the ride, because he didn't want to be home with just his grandmother and aunt.

Plus, there were a lot of good benefits to bringing Killua along. The most important thing is that Killua would be free from his boyfriend and finally get to live a life where he would be happy. Even if it meant that he only spent a few days with Gon before going off on his own path, That later part didn't sit well with Gon, but it was a path that he would have to accept if it was the way that life moved.

It was about three weeks before leaving that Gon found himself outside his balcony. The yelling, screaming, and random bangs that hit the floor that made up his apartment had increased from the day he left the note. A part of Gon worried that his note might have been the case as to the increase in violence. Yet, not once did Killua go outside, even on nights when it seemed that things were much worse. Gon would wait by his orange tree for hours, yet nothing. It made Gon question if Killua was avoiding him. Or worse, if his boyfriend knew that Gon was trying to help Killua find a way out.

That night sang a different tune. As he watched videos on his phone, he heard the balcony door slide open. Then a voice and a question that caused his heart to beat so quickly that he wasn't sure that he would be alive in the next couple of seconds.

"Where are we going?" Killua asked, his voice soft but with a hint of unsureness attached to it.

Gon turned off his phone. The silly video of the animated dancing dragon that kept coming up every ten videos faded, leaving the screen of his phone a pitch black. Gon finally answered, and nerves started to hit. "Whale Island."

"Never heard of it." Killua called out.

Gon's hand clenched softly. That wasn't an unexpected answer. He could count in one hand how many people knew where he was from who were not from the island themselves. This made Gon question if being in such a secluded place would be something that Killua would want or even be comfortable with. That didn't stop Gon from letting out a small laugh. "It's nothing like there. You'll probably get bored, and the internet is pretty shitty."

"Will you wait until seven?"

"Yes." Gon replied before he heard the sounds of a balcony door open and shut. He looked up and stared at the sky. His heartbeat was still thumping like that of a wild animal. Even so, that didn't bring a smile to his face. If anything, he questioned if Killua would bail on him.

Of course, that didn't matter. He would wait until seven. All Killua had to do was open the door to his car and get in.

Packing your whole life into a few boxes is never easy. Gon knew there was no way he could take everything that he wanted with him to his grandmother's place. He had been accumulating too much stuff since he had moved out and into the city. Which meant that he had to get rid of a lot of stuff. Some items were sold, others given away, and some were thrown in the trash. In the end, he managed to put what he truly wanted to keep in the back of his car. He even made space for his orange tree. There was no way that he was going to leave that behind. After all, the fruit from that plant was the best. A taste, he would miss far too much if left behind. Another thing he managed was to leave space for Killua to take two boxes with him. Gon knew it wasn't much, but Killua himself had said that he only needed enough space for his backpack the last time that they spoke.

The move-out date had creeped up fast. A little too fast if one were to ask Gon. There were less than twenty-four hours before he was to leave home. Yet, it felt like the hours were dragging. The fear that Killua would bail still lingered on his mind. However, Gon also knew that Killua was the one who had to make the choice of what he was going to do with his life.

Sometimes the best way to escape is to let no one know of your plans to do so. Killua chose to take this route when it came to leaving with Gon. While there was a hint of guilt and discomfort when it came to this decision, Killua knew it was for the best. The last thing he needed was for his boyfriend to find out. Now, it wasn't that he didn't trust his friends; he really did. He just knew that his boyfriend liked to go through his things, and he also had ways of getting things out of them if push came to shove. So, it was better to keep it all quiet. He would let them know what happened and what he did when he was safe. He did know their numbers, so keeping them updated with his life wasn't at all difficult. Maybe one day he would see them again. It would all be worth it; Killua was sure of this.

That thought never stayed in his mind for too long. The doubt and anxiety always ate at him, in one way or another. Making him question endlessly if he was truly the victim of the life he knew. Gripping a t-shirt, Killua shook his head quickly. An attempt to erase the negative thought that was slowly eating away at him.

"Stop." He muttered to no one but himself. After a moment, his mind felt clear again. Quickly, he shoved the shirt into his backpack. Then he made a mental note of what he had. He managed to stash three shirts, two pairs of pants, a few socks and underwear, his phone, and a bit of cash. That was truly all he had. He didn't want to take much, and he also didn't see the need to take more. He wanted a fresh start, and he planned on getting that.

It was five minutes before seven was to hit. Gon was in his car, with the engine running and the radio playing music. Lately, he found himself listening to soft rock. He didn't know what it was about the melody, but it calmed him when he was super stressed. Tapping his hands on the steering wheel, he watched the clock. The time was going slow, but there was still no sight of Killua.

This thought caused a loud and rich laugh to escape from Gon. He had no idea what Killua even looked like. Neither ever bothered to show themselves, even when they made the plans to leave and how much to pack. It was funny just how crazy this whole idea was. Yet, it felt like it was how it was meant to play out. If it had gone any other way, Gon wasn't sure Killua would have agreed to leave in the first place.

The clock struck seven-o-three, and Gon bit his lip. He was losing hope, but something told him to keep waiting. Just a little longer, and Killua would be there. His hands gripped the wheel. He'd wait until eight, nine, ten... He'd wait a whole day if it meant Killua would go with him.

Seven was normally when Killua's boyfriend would take a shower; it was seven-twenty, and the man was still in the living room laughing at some stupid sitcom that was playing on the TV. Bitter. Killua felt bitter as he stood in the kitchen, making dinner. He didn't want to cook anything, but it would be suspicious if he didn't make them food.

Sighing, he watched as the clock struck seven thirty-two. And like clockwork, his boyfriend turned off the TV and stood up.

"I'm going to shower. Make sure you have my clothes ready."

"Dinner should be ready by that time too." Killua answered as he gave a nod. His eyes were watching as the man went into the bathroom, and his ears were waiting for that distinct sound of the shower being turned on.

It didn't take long, but the noise of water running struck Killua's hearing. And without a second thought, Killua turned off the stove and served the man he hated one last plate of food, which he left on the kitchen table. Soon after, he entered their bedroom, the one they shared together. The one where they had made love to each other but also hurt each other. Killua took a deep breath and opened the closet door. He picked up his backpack and put it on. Then he proceeded to gather his boyfriend's nightwear. Killua gently placed it on the made bed before slowly walking out of the room and towards the front door. Never once ignore the sounds of running water.

Gently, his hand took the apartment lock and turned it, ever so slowly. After, the door handle was turned, and the door was pulled open. It was crazy, the feeling that was swallowing Killua. It was neither negative nor positive. It was a feeling he couldn't explain, but he was sure that he would never feel it again as he made his way out of his home. And with the same softness, Killua closed the door behind him. Breathing out, he looked at the hall before his feet began to move on their own. His steps getting wider and faster with each and every movement. It was like something had taken over his body, and he was just going along for the ride.

The elevator ride was nonexistent; it was like it never happened. Killua wasn't a part of life at that moment. He was somewhere, but he couldn't tell anyone where he went. Yet, it was fine. If he had been in control, he might have never made it out of the front door.

Blue eyes looked for spot one-fifty-two, and before he knew it, he was met with a green car. Gripping the straps of his bag, he walked over to the vehicle, right to where the passenger door was. Without a second thought, he took the car door handle and opened it. Soon after getting in and taking a look at Gon for the first time.

There were no words when blue eyes met amber ones. Killua didn't have time to think about how the cashier from the store he shopped at was the man he had spoken to from his balcony. He was Gon, the man who heard everything that happened in his home and had decided to help him.

No; instead, he was met with a smile and a few simple words. "Ready to go?"

Killua only nodded, the sounds of soft rock playing as the car began to back up. Not long after leaving the parking lot and the complex that held the apartments in which they both met, in a way that was strange but Killua felt that this was the right way to go.

END

AN: Hello! It's been a long time. Almost six years? Anyway, something just hit me and I started to write. It took me a little less than five hours to write. It's not a prefect ending, but it's pretty close to the ending I had aways imagine for this story. I know it seems kinda rushed, but a part of it is based off my own experience from when I packed my whole life into one small carry on suitcase and moved to Arizona.

As for how I am doing… I got married back in 2022 to my girlfriend from the last update. Overall, I think I'm doing alright! Thank you all for reading and if you made it this far, thank you for sticking with this story.