Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Detentionaire
A/M: Remember to vote in the poll if you haven't!
I'll be getting snow with some icy rain on and off for the next week, so if you don't see anything by Wednesday-ish, that'll be the reason.
Contributor: Kuronodono12.
Chapter XII: Down With Lee Club.
Lee's House 7:09 AM
Lee looks at his clues and pictures as he sits down at his desk.
Apparently, Naruto and I pulled off the biggest prank in high school history. And because of it, we got a whole year of detention. The problem is, we didn't do it. But we did have to pull a few other pranks to clear our names. And we might have got a few people in trouble. And made a few people mad. Like Irwin, Emo Joe, Ed the Water-boy, and Robin.
Lee looks at the yearbook he put on the desk and opens it to see pictures of Irwin, Giuseppe, Ed, and Robin.
Not my biggest fans. Worst yet, someone named Radcircles contacted me and admitted to everything. And now they're getting way too close for comfort.
Lee then looks at his computer having his reflection come up. "I don't like it. First, he set me up, and now he's texting taunts. Radcircles, whoever you are, I'm gonna get you back."
A Nigma High 3:30 PM
Lee is running through the halls of A. Nigma High carrying the principal's robot leg before hearing Biffy through his earpiece. "You better get rid of that thing! If you get caught with it, you're gonna be totally expelled. Or worse!"
"What's worse than being expelled?" Lee spots some cleaners working in a hall.
He ducks behind a bank of lockers as Barrage yells out as he hops from the hall behind Lee. "I WILL MURDERIZE WHOEVER STOLE MY LEG!"
Lee gulps before speaking. "Okay. You know what? Forget I asked that."
Both the principal and the cleaners converge on Lee's hiding place.
Earlier That Day… 7:50 AM.
A streetcar rolls down the street as Naruto Lee, Cam, and Holger are on board. "Why so happy, pappy? You do know we're headed to school, right?" Cam asks Lee who smiles.
"My mom said if I get an A on today's math test, I can have the weekend free! Do you know what that means?"
"You can do my chores for me on Saturday?"
"No, it means no grounding! And the best part is it's math! I own that!" Lee exclaims holding his bag in his seat.
"So… Maybe you caught a peek at the test, uh? You know? Over scrambled huevos with Mommy?" Cam asked him as Holger looked over.
"Lee! This is much excitement. Your math skills are like me making zhe juggle of the random objects." Holger plucks a bunch of balls from his backpack and throws them into the air having them go flying. "Whee! Juggling!" Various commuters complain as they get pelted with the balls. "Oh! Sorry!"
A. Nigma High
When the group gets to school, Lee opens his locker and finds something stinking inside. "Ugh. Whoa! Gross, what is that?"
Holger takes a whiff himself. "Uch. Smell like the fresh zeedenberries, ooh, if a schnauzer was making zhe doo-doo on them."
"Aw, dude, stink bomb, homes! Looks like the work of a real pro, man."
They glanced at Naruto who blinked. "You're just looking at me because I do pranks, right? Typical." He picks up a pie from Lee's locker where the smell's coming from. "Cleaver uses the pie to hide the odor for a while so no faculty gets it out."
"Uch! What in the world is that smell?"
They turned to see Nadene walking up before Naruto spoke. "Apparently it's a stink bomb."
Nadene grinned at that. "Your newest prank backfires on you?"
"Ha-ha!" Lee laughs mockingly. "Listen, I know these last few weeks have been strange."
She nodded at that. "To say the least."
"Yeah, but–I guess I was wondering if you know, wanna hang? Say, Friday night?"
"Friday? Aren't you grounded till like Armageddon or something?" She asked crossing her arms.
Lee nodded but continued. "Technically yes I am sorta, but, I'm about to be sprung for the weekend. Yes! Thank you integers!"
"Uh, I don't know, I–"
"C'mon, it'll be fun. We could go to the big Patsy For Hire concert at the amphitheater. Or whatever you want."
Nadene sighs at that. "I guess I'll think about it."
Nadene walks away and right after she leaves, a hand grabs hold of Lee's shirt and yanks on him pulling him to face Brandy. "Did I just see what I thought I saw? You with another woman?!"
"No, it's not like that, we were just talking, y'know, about... Patsy For Hire."
Brandy smiles at that. "They're only like my sixth-favorite band! I knew it, you were talking about taking me! Don't worry, I will totally act surprised when you come to pick me up." She said kissing him on the cheek. "Mwuh!"
Brandy walks away with a look of ecstasy on her face as Lee rubs his neck. "Why must everything be so difficult?" He asks as a bunch of small balls fall from the ceiling onto and around Lee. The finale of the barrage is a bowling ball that almost crushes Lee's head as he steps back before Holger arrives on the scene. "Seriously?"
"Well, at least most of zhem weren't bowling balls!"
Math Class
Naruto, Lee, Cam, and Holger walk into Mrs. Ping's math class. "I ace this test and I am gold! Forty-eight hours of un-grounded fun."
Holger smiled as they sat in the back. "In whole weekend, I could teach you to juggle zhe sardines. The trick is not to eat them first… Holger always forget."
Camillio then looks over at that. "Hey. Do you think I could borrow an answer or two? It'd make my folks pretty happy if I brought home a solid C, man."
Lee shook his head before replying. "Sorry, Cam, I just can't risk it today."
"Bwak! Buk buk–"
Mrs. Ping then walks over. "Ahem." She clears her throat as she passes out the test. Lee picks up his copy, looks at it, and laughs. "Ssh!" While Lee is distracted, someone near him steals his pen. "Begin! And no talking."
Lee looks down and realizes his pen is missing. "My pen! Hey, have you seen my pen? Anybody got an extra pen?"
"Here." Naruto tosses him one of his black gel pens just as he is handed one that has been passed around. He looks at it and sees a joke shop name on it. "Invisible ink… Nice try." Naruto tosses the pen in the trash as Mrs. Ping looks at him. "Outta ink."
Later, Naruto and Lee leave as they finish first with Lee on the phone. "Yeah, four tickets. Perfect." He hangs up. "Now if I can just find someone to take Brandy I'll be totally golden."
"Lee, wanted you to know I heard whisperers in the class of someone trying to get you in trouble with an invisible ink pen," Naruto explains as Holger and Cam walk up.
"What's that?" Holger points down the hall. A cleaner is busy scrubbing graffiti reading "DOWN WITH LEE CLUB" off of a bank of lockers.
"'Down With Lee Club?'"
Camillio shrugged at that. "Maybe it's a typo. Maybe they mean Down With Glee Club."
"How could anyone not like Glee Club? They're always so happy!" Holger asks as they look at the graffiti.
"Is this what's been going on? Who hates me so much that they start a whole club?" Lee asks as it started raining outside
Beside the school in a tree clubhouse, four teenagers in cloaks sat at a spool table with various Lee pictures with darts in them as well as a voodoo doll in a birdcage with a crow. "Down with Lee! Down with Lee! Down with Lee! Down with Lee!" They chanted before one leaned forward revealing himself to be Ed.
"And Holger."
The others looked over and revealed they were Irwin, Giuseppe, and Robin.
Irwin sighs before looking at Ed before continuing. "We the members of the Down With Lee Club pledge our undying commitment to the pursuit of making Lee Ping's life completely and utterly miserable."
"Yeah and don't forget Hooolll-gerrrrr." Ed sang as Robin rolled her eyes.
"Okay, you hate Holger. We know!"
The crow caws and pecks at the straw doll of Lee. The four members of the club pick up cans of Green Apple Splat.
Beep-Beep!
Before they can drink, however, Irwin's computer beeps with a message. Irwin walks over and opens it. A man cloaked in shadow appears in a video chat with the outline of glasses.
"Knock knock." The man said in a deep disguised voice
"Uh... Who's there?" Irwin asked as the others walked up.
"Rad."
Giuseppe then asks. "Rad? Rad who?"
"Rad Circles. And you, are the Down With Lee Club."
"How do you know who we are?" Irwin asks the now-identified Rad Circles.
"I know everything about everything. It's scary sometimes. What is important, is we all have one thing in common. A hatred of all things Ping! I've watched your petty pranks. Stink bombs, invisible ink that failed... Pathetic."
Giuseppe narrowed his eyes at the man. "Whatever. Like you could do better."
"Silence, Mister I Wear Guyliner. I have a plan. With my help, the time has come to get Lee Ping expelled."
"Expelled? What better way to rid ourselves of Lee Ping? Then too–" Irwin pauses to think but is unable to come up with anything good. "Rid ourselves of Lee Ping!"
"It shall be the ultimate payback," Rad said to them raising his hands to clasp them.
"Lee Ping is like an arrow to my cold black heart," Giuseppe said dramatically as Ed raised a hand.
"He has no respect for the science of thirst-quenching! Him or Holger!"
Robin blinks before speaking. "I... Actually, forget why I hate him."
"Because he got us all put in detention for his lame pranks when he fought with the 15th Graders!" Irwin said to her before turning to the screen. "So, how exactly do we do this?"
"I have it on good authority that if he's busted for one more prank, our little friend Ping will go bye-bye."
"Eddie honey! Do you and your friends want more mini hot dogs?"
Ed looks out the door as his mom yells up. "Mom, we're busy scheming!"
"You can't scheme on an empty stomach, silly!"
Radcircles sighs at that. "Great, well now I'm hungry too. Okay. Here's what we're going to do..."
Detention 12:02 PM.
Naruto and Lee are in lunch detention with Biffy.
"Maybe it's another Lee," Biffy said cuddling his cat. "There's more than one Lee in the world, isn't there."
"But not in school," Naruto said leaning back in his seat, hands behind his head.
"Maybe it's Radcircles. This could be another chance to nail whoever that is." Lee said as Biffy shook his head.
"Nah, RC's hardcore. This is probably just a bunch of nerds, wearing nerd clothes and doing nerd things together while they talk in nerd code. I'd start with the nerdy tree house behind this nerdy school."
Lee blinks at that before turning. "Why there?"
"'Cause it's Ed the water-boy's house. And my guess is, if you looked up nerd in the dictionary, you'd find a picture of his grandfather. Plus he hates you, right?"
Lee shrugs before answering. "More Holger for stealing his job. But, yeah, we did out him as the school thief."
Biffy puts a sweater on his cat before smiling. "Okay. So get Monsieur Rumpell as close to the tree house as you can so I can see what's inside."
Biffy places a camera in the pocket of his cat's sweater and then hands her to Lee. Lee carries the cat with him as he sneaks out of detention to Ed's house. When he arrives at the backyard, he taps his earpiece. "I'm sending in the cat."
Lee lets go of Biffy's cat. It runs into the backyard and athletically climbs up to the tree house. Once there, it begins walking around, and the camera captures images of things at the cat's eye level.
"Legs. Shoes. Mini hot dog… Uh-oh. CROW!" Biffy yells as he and Naruto watch the screen.
Mrs. Rumplekittykat spots the caged crow and leaps at it, knocking the cage onto the floor.
"RED ALERT! CLAWED INTRUDER!"
They see Ed leap at the cat, but she nimbly avoids his grasp. She runs past Giuseppe and manages to escape the clubhouse before Irwin can grab her.
"No!" The cat runs back to Lee, who is spotted by the club. "Lee Ping, and he's not in detention!"
"Principal Barrage!" Robin yells out.
"Whoa, what happens to the unspoken rules of not tattling?" Naruto asks looking at the screen as Lee runs to the school.
Lee gasps and hightails it into the bushes. The principal comes by where Lee was moments ago and pries the bushes away. Behind them is Biffy's cat, chowing down on a miniature hot dog. Lee, meanwhile, is running through shrubberies. He gets back into school, sneaks through the vents, and arrives in the detention room. Shortly thereafter, Barrage throws the door to the detention room open.
"Ah-ha!"
"... So technically the Byzantine Empire is just a derivative of the Roman-" Biffy stops as the three look at Barrage.
"Er well. Carry on. But I'm watching you." He says before flipping his earlobe. "And I'm using these flipping flaps of fleshy flesh on the side of my head that some people refer to as ears! And I will hear, every gurgle of your gooey little guts! So watch your Bs and Qs. At ease!" He yells before he slams the door.
"Ahem."
Barrage threw the door open. "I heard that!"
"Uhhh.."
The principal signals that he's watching the detentionaires and then leaves again. Naruto, Lee, and Biffy shut their books, and Biffy pulls out his laptop. "So anyways, looks like we found out who makes up the Down With Lee Club." He says as he has a freeze-framed picture of the four members.
"How'd you know the club was at Ed's house anyway?" Lee asks suspiciously as Biffy narrows his eyes.
"Don't get all paranoid! There's a Down With Lee Club, okay? Right now you sorta need all the friends you can get."
Outside, Lee is in the hallway when Nadene walks up to him. "Hey, Lee! I've been listening to Patsy For Hire all day! They're actually kinda okay!"
"Oh, yeah, they're, pretty cool." Lee nods at her
"Anyway, I'll go to the concert with you. After all, I believe in third chances. Or is it fourth? Kinda lost track."
"Yeah, as long as my ticket guy comes in." Lee shrugs at her.
Outside, Gym Class
"Guys. We need one of you to infiltrate that Down With Lee Club." Naruto says to them as Lee runs up.
"I already ordered four Patsy tickets, so whoever does it can have one. We'll stage a fight and pretend we've turned on each other. C'mon, who's with me?"
"Free ticket? Sure, I'll turn on you." Cam said as Naruto blinked.
"Oh, yeah, sorry Holg, but Ed's a part of it and hates you. I'm sure they'd be suspicious of you and me, plus I got detention with Lee."
"Don't like me?! Impossible! Everyone loves Holger! I love Holger! I love him so much!" Holger exclaimed before he hugged himself and cried. "I love him."
Lee then spoke up. "Guys. Seriously. What's wrong with my hair?"
Later, in the hall, Lee and Cam stage their fight during a break between classes. "Let's make this look legit," Lee says as Cam nodded.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa step off bro! You better watch who you talkin' to!" He yells and shoves Lee.
"I know it was you who snitched to my mom!" Lee shoves Cam who bumps into a locker.
He leaps at Lee, who holds him off. "Oh, I wouldn't go throwing accusationals around, ese. You're the prankster who leads a secret life, man!"
"Oh yeah? You want a piece?"
Cam and Lee sink to the floor and pretend to wrestle. Robin walks up and uses her cell phone to film it. "Lee Ping and Camillio Whatshisface are fighting! Who'd ever believe it?"
Lee and Cam roll to a stop at the feet of Brandy. "Lee? Cam? Are you, fighting over, me?" Cam and Lee glance at each other at that. "Please say yes. You know what? Forget the please. Just say yes!"
Lee and Cam look at each other and smile. Lee then slams Cam against a locker. "I'm taking her to the concert on Friday!"
"How exciting. You do know only one can take me, right?" Brandy asks the crowd before whispering to Robin. "Will you email me that video, thanks."
"You don't deserve a girl that good! I'm taking Brandy to the concert and that's like, final! You got it, leaping?" Cam asks and winks at Brandy, who clasps her hands over her heart.
He then throws Lee to the ground. "You win this time, Cam. But I promise you, this is far from over."
"You know what I say to that? Down with Lee! Down with Lee!" Cam yells taking Brandy's arm as Robin chants as well
Robin smiles and cheers. "Yes!" Cam takes Brandy's arm. "Down with Lee! Down with Lee!"
The spectators file away from the finished fight. Lee smiles victoriously.
The Down With Lee Club
The rest of the Club is hanging out in Ed's tree house as Rad Circles is up on the screen. "And why does he dye his hair red? That's what I'd like to know."
"Me and you both," Irwin says before he gets another call. "Hang on." He brings up a video chat from the fourth member. "What's the word, Robin?"
"Check out the video I just sent you."
Irwin opens the video of Lee and Cam fighting. "Whoa. Lee and Cam fighting? I dunno, isn't that supposed to be the Fourth Sign of the Apocalypse?" Giuseppe asked them
"But what a coup it would be to get Camillio into our club! Think of the headlines!" Irwin spoke as Rad looked down in thought.
"Maybe. But I think we should run a little experiment first. I think we could have some fun with this."
Detention 3:25 PM.
Naruto, Lee, and Biffy are in detention. "So Cam managed to infiltrate them?"
"Ssh! He's in there right now!" Lee says as he points to his earpiece and hears Irwin.
"Let us welcome our newest member Camillio Esmereldo Martinez to the club."
"Welcome Cam." The others welcomed Cam.
"So uh, that stink bomb was pret-ty cool. The lemon meringue pie was like a boom idea!"
"My mom made it," Ed explained to Cam
"Hey, you know like, why just Lee? Why not Naruto?"
"Naruto didn't get us detention on his day off like Lee did!" Irwin replied as Cam nodded before continuing.
"Like, what's the real plan, man? How we gonna take down my man-I mean I mean, I mean my ex-man. Lee Ping!"
"Tomorrow at lunch. We're gonna nail Ping with three pranks at once." Irwin replies as Giuseppe then speaks.
"First we pour acid on the football field to spell out 'Ping rules.'"
"Then, we're gonna flood the parking lot with shaving cream and soap suds, making a mess of all the faculty's cars to get 'em outside so they see the field." Ed picked up after that.
"And then, when the room is empty, we're going to fill the teacher's lounge with raw sewage from the septic tank." Robin continues before Irwin finishes.
"And, the best part is, Lee will be blamed for it all and be kicked out of school for good!"
Biffy looks over at Lee. "Dude, tomorrow you're totally gonna be one step ahead of them."
"Heh. Three steps, actually. Yeah, nice try, Irwin." Lee smiles as he turns the device off.
The Next Day, 12:35 PM.
"Holger, how goes the football field?" Lee asks Holger over the comms.
"No acid yet. By the way, what does acid look like? How tall is he?"
"Oh boy. Cam, how's the parking lot?" Lee asks Cam looking at the parking lot.
"All cool, homes."
"All clear here too. Weirdly, nothing's happened yet, isn't it?" Lee asks before Biffy calls him
"Uh, Pingston? We have a problem. I managed to finally break the firewall on the school's security cameras. Looks like Irwin's been messing with your locker."
"Locker? That wasn't part of the plan. Unless..."
"Uh, yeah. You've been duped." Biffy finishes as Naruto runs to the locker and opens it to reveal Barrage's leg.
"It's Barrage's leg! Lee come on, we'll get it back while avoiding the cleaners!"
Naruto took the leg and ran down the hall and saw Lee running to him. Lee grabbed the other end of the leg to help carry it before they ran down the other hall.
"RAAAAAAAHH!"
"Shit, he must have woken up," Naruto spoke as they ran.
"Whoever's got my leg is gonna burn in a fiery pit of preposterous pain!" Barrage yells before they hear Tina over the intercom.
"Would the following students report to Room 113b: Robin Raven and Brad Von Chillstein."
"I WILL MURDERIZE WHOEVER STOLE MY LEG!" Barrage yells out as they make a turn and hit behind the wall.
"Go on, I'll try to distract him while you put the leg somewhere he'll find it," Naruto says before running down the hall yelling he has Barrage's leg and pulling down posters.
Later, Naruto turns a corner as Barrage walks down the hall and up to his leg. "My leg." The military man steps forward onto his leg and it hooks into his system."There you go, Betsy! Back where you belong! Time to check on Ping and Uzumaki."
All three head for the detention room; Lee through the vents and Barrage and Naruto through the hallways.
Naruto jumps onto a railing, and skids down to jump off and runs down the hall before going into the detention room Lee falls down the vent into his seat just before the principal opens the door.
"… So you see, if both sides of a triangle equal–"
"When I find who tried to make a fool of me, they'll be keeping you company. All snugly and warm, and cuddly. IN HERE! DE-SMISSED!" The principal slams the door to the detention room shut.
Outside, Lee walks up to the Down With Lee Club and grabs Irwin."You're ruining my whole life! All because of the math club grudge?"
Ed and Giuseppe pull Lee away as Robin looks at him to speak. "Actually, it's 'cause you got us detention with your pranks."
"Oh!" Lee blinks at that. "Sorry, I didn't mean to. Is that really why you all hate me?"
"Pretty much."
"Yeah."
"Mmm-hmm."
The three-spoke before Ed raised a hand. "And Holger!"
"You better watch your back, Ping!" Irwin said to Lee who narrowed his eyes.
"Or what, you'll prank me again? In case you can't tell, I'm pretty much as low as I'm gonna get."
"It's not us you need to worry about," Ed said as Irwin grinned
"Yeah. We're nothing compared to who else is out there. Some freak who loves knock-knock jokes."
"Knock-knock jokes? You guys met Radcircles?" Lee asked in shock as Irwin shrugged.
"Maybe. Maybe not. Why should we tell you?"
"After all, helping you would be a violation of our club," Robin explained before they walked away.
"Down with Lee! Down with Lee! Down with Lee!"
"Man! How will I ever figure out who Radcircles is?" Lee sighs before walking to leave the school
Lee's House 5:55 PM
Lee is marking off possible culprits in his yearbook. Thus far, he's Xed out Ed, Giuseppe, Robin, and a guy in a hat. "Nope." He says crossing out Greta. "Nope." crossing out more suspects. "Nope. A bit of a jerk but, nope."
He then gets an email message from Radcircles. "Ah-ha! Here we go!" He exclaims before he begins reading. "You survive this time. Barely. But you'll never make it to the end of the year. P.S. Knock knock? So people have actually talked to him. Seen him. But no one knows who he is. Or even if it's a he. Radcircles, I don't know how I'm gonna find you, but I will. But right now, I got a concert to go to."
To Be Continued.
A/N: Thanks for reading and let me know of any mistakes!
Contributor: KuronoDono12.
Remember to vote in the poll if you haven't!
I'll be getting snow with some icy rain on and off for the next week, so if you don't see anything by Wednesday-ish, that'll be the reason.
Next to be updated will be Maestrom Huntsman as I'll skip Maelstrom Jedi for this round to let the poll stay longer.
Nothing else to say.
Talk To You Later,
Lone Wolf Out.🐺