Chapter 137

Memorials

Note from J. : Sorry for the delay in uploading the new chapter, just been a busy week

Lily smiled sadly at Sirius as he came down the stairs and into the kitchen after waking up, before putting the full English breakfast in front of her Uncle. "Eat," she commanded.

"Lily," Sirius began, but Lily wasn't having any of it.

"You're going to be a father, and you need to keep your damned strength up. Now eat, or I'll Imperius you," Lily said firmly. Sirius chuckled at the threat.

"You are definitely your mother's daughter," Sirius said, picking up his fork. Lily sat down at the table.

"Damn right, and after meeting Draco's aunt, I'm getting a better understanding of magic," Lily said. Sofia had sent over books via Draco, which Lily had been studying intently. The woman was becoming the teacher Lily needed in the dark times.

"So I see," Sirius agreed, biting into the food. "Did you make this?"

"I did," Lily confirmed. "Dobby taught me how to do the blood pudding."

"Is she a good student, Dobby?" Sirius asked.

"Oh yes, Master Sirius. Miss Lily loves to learn," Dobby replied.

"I definitely don't pay you enough if you've gotten her to love learning," Sirius teased, earning a slap on the back of the head from Lily. "I'm going to start wondering if you're the daughter or mother before too long," Sirius warned.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Lily said, taking her morning potion.

"How's that working?" Sirius asked.

"See for yourself," Lily said, taking off her necklace. "Don't need the charm anymore," she explained, her voice remining feminine. Sirius smiled.

"Damn. If he wasn't such a bastard, I might actually be thanking Snivellus," Sirius said. "How does it feel?"

"Natural… and honestly, when I realised, I broke down in tears of relief," Lily admitted.

"I get that, kid," Sirius smiled at her. "You'll soon be the full version of yourself that you deserve to be."

"I hope so. In the meantime, I want you dressed in your finest. We're having a little memorial in the garden for Moody today," Lily said. Sirius nodded.

"Sounds like a great idea," Sirius said. "You told the others?"

"We have. Uncle Remus is still watching over Barty, he's not up yet, but Aunt Minnie, Bill, Charlie, Molly, Tonks, Percy, Kingsley, and the Minister are all coming," Lily said. "After losing so many people, I get why we have memorials now."

"Oh?" Sirius asked, after swallowing the bite of his breakfast he'd just taken.

"It's not a reminder of what we've lost, but it's to remember what we gained by their being in our lives," Lily said. Sirius looked at her with his mouth open slightly. "What?"

"Sorry Lily bud, but you… you've grown, a lot," Sirius said. "And it's only been, what, a week since we lost him?"

"Yeah," Lily confirmed. "But I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I guess I'm growing up a lot quicker."

"You were always grown up, sweetheart," Sirius said. "It's been a pleasure to watch, and I'm just glad to be here to witness all of this."

"Thank you, Uncle Sirius," Lily said. "Just… this year is going to get worse before it gets better. But we're together, and we'll find a way to defeat Riddle. For the next few months, whilst we research locations, we're also going to be doing a lot of training. We need to get better."

"I know I do," Sirius said in a depressed tone.

"Don't you dare blame yourself for what happened," Lily demanded, glaring at Sirius. "I know what you're thinking because I thought the same thing when Arthur Weasley died. Professor Moody made his choice, and he knew he could die. You all did. This is what war is about, and you can't blame yourself."

"Remus said the same thing, but you know it's easier said than done," Sirius pointed out.

"Maybe, but at the end of the day, you were the one who told me I couldn't blame myself, so how is it right for you to blame yourself?" Lily asked. Sirius sighed and nodded.

"Well, I can't say you're wrong, since that came from me," Sirius agreed. "I just… it's still difficult to accept. The man seemed unstoppable. He fought harder than anyone, and took out so many enemies, and he died saving someone who I once thought was an enemy."

"And now he's an ally. I get it. I mean, look at me and Draco. We were enemies once, and now we're allies," Lily pointed out.

"True," Sirius agreed. "There's usually always a chance to be better, but sometimes it's not possible. I wasn't sure about Crouch, but he's proven he deserves to be here. Damn near died to save innocents. He's definitely a part of the Order of the Phoenix."

"Too right. Is Aunt Minnie in charge of that now?" Lily asked.

"She is," Sirius confirmed. "She's taking on a lot, but you know your aunt, tell her to rest and she works harder, just to prove she can."

"Tell me about it," Lily agreed, rolling her eyes. "Thing is though, it's hard to relax when the fate of the world is at stake."

"I get that kid, I really do," Sirius told her with a sigh. "Right now, you've been doing a lot more than you should. I didn't tell you about our plan to attack the Ministry because I knew you'd want to help, and I couldn't risk you being near there, especially if you'd gotten caught."

"No, I get it. We're on our own path right now as well, we've got a lot to learn, and we've found out more than we did before," Lily said. She sighed softly. "I've not told you yet because this is important, but you weren't really in a fit state to hear it."

"Is this going to be something I'm not going to like?" Sirius asked.

"Oh, that's a guarantee, but you need to know," Lily replied. "I don't know if Dumbledore knew or not, but it's not nice."

"Okay, I guess I'm ready," Sirius said, looking at her as he finished his breakfast. Lily then began to explain everything that Sofia had told them, with Lily and Ginny both being a Horcrux split into two, how they were looking for Slytherin's tomb, and how they didn't know how to destroy the Horcrux within yet.

The more Lily spoke, the paler Sirius's face became, a look of horror crossing his already weary features.

As she finished, Sirius struggled to find any words. He tried, but failed, to speak.

"Uncle Sirius, we're not overly worried. Like Sofia said, we're not in danger, not right now anyway. The Horcrux is split, and can't be rejoined because the only thing that can do that is remorse, and we both know Riddle will never feel that," Lily said.

"No, but that… I… how?" Sirius asked. "How can you… be so… so damned calm?"

"Because getting worked up won't do a damned thing," Lily replied. "I won't let the bastard win, so I'm going to keep going and find a way to destroy him."

"But… he could… use you?" Sirius asked.

"No, because of the bond Ginny and I have, he'll never be able to use us. We'll rid ourselves of the Horcrux fragments, and then we'll wipe him out," Lily promised. Sirius looked at her, mouth agape.

"You…when did you become this… warrior and leader?" Sirius asked.

"No clue, but you raised me to always do what's right," Lily pointed out. "You always said that the right path is the hardest, but the most important."

"I know, but I didn't… I didn't expect this," Sirius practically croaked. "I… I feel… as helpless as I did in your fourth year."

"The tournament, I know," Lily agreed. "A lot's happened since then. A lot's happened since I started at Hogwarts."

"Part of me wishes I'd never let you go, maybe none of this would have happened," Sirius replied.

"Maybe, but where would the world be now?" Lily asked. "Uncle Sirius, you let me worry about this, and you worry about your husband, lover, and your kids."

"I am worried about them, but you're my kid too!" Sirius exclaimed.

Lily couldn't help but feel touched at the comment; she felt a similar way, with Sirius being a father to her.

"You've been a father to me ever since you took me in when I was one," Lily said. "I learnt all I know about being a good person from you."

"I'm aware," Sirius replied. "Just… keep me in the loop. I need to know these things. I need to know what's going on."

"I will. The device we got from Sofia is going to help, a lot, and we'll be able to use it when we need to get into Gringotts, we hope," Lily said. "But we're leaving that Horcrux to last."

"Good idea," Sirius said. "Once you do, he'll know what you're after."

"Exactly our line of thinking," Lily replied. "Trust me, we'll manage this. Now, let's get ready for the memorial," she said. Sirius nodded as he stood up; he wasn't looking forward to the memorial, but Lily was right, it would help everyone.

As Lily stood in front of the group, she saw that despite the risk and secrecy, there were plenty of people there. Minerva, Sirius, Angeline, Remus, Molly, even Crouch had forced himself up to be at the memorial. Lily had planned it, so she wanted to speak first.

"The first time I met the real Moody, I was immediately struck by his strength, despite everything he'd been through. He'd been restrained and hidden for a year, but he was immediately ready to get back into the fight. That was Moody though; he cared more about others than himself, and he refused to let the darkness win," Lily replied.

She took a breath. "It was that which inspired a lot of us to keep fighting. He took Hermione and me under his wing, and Ginny too, wanting us to learn, not to be like him, but he always said he wanted us to be better than him. He had his regrets about where he'd failed in the past, but he never let those regrets haunt him; he simply used them to push himself harder and faster," Lily continued.

"He always said 'Constant Vigilance' because he knew in this world, we always needed to be ready. We had to be prepared for whatever the darkness threw at us, and we have to keep going, no matter what. We always have a choice to make about how and why we fight. I realised that about a year and a half ago, when I led the battle at the Ministry. Moody wouldn't want us to be upset or mourn his loss, because he chose to fight for the right reason. It was his choice that saved us, every time he made one. And now, it's our choice to remember him, and remember why he fought, and keep him in our memories. It's our choice now to fight for what he believed in, and for what we believe in," Lily said.

Lily smiled sadly at Crouch, who gently stood up, and walked over to the podium, helped by Remus and a walking stick. He sat down, with a small microphone there to help him.

"Alastor Moody was always someone I respected, even when I wasn't on the same side as him," Crouch began. We were enemies, but he was someone who was always worthy of respect. I watched him fight, and I had to study him, but in the end, when I was caught, he stopped me from escaping. I think that was the first good thing he did for me; being in Azkaban, and then being held prisoner by my father, helped me consider who I was meant to be, and then spending a year with Lily helped me even more."

He took a sip of the water on the podium. "When we were in the Ministry, when I first joined with all of you, a part of him likely wanted to just attack me, but he held his fire, and told me that he suspected there was a spark of light in me, especially given how I'd made sure the students at Hogwarts were able to properly defend themselves," Crouch said. "I realised he was right about that; I never wanted kids in war, and I wanted them safe, including Lily."

Crouch smiled softly at the group. "And then, that final time we were at the Ministry, his last words that were that he was glad he was wrong about not being able to trust me, and that he was proud of me," Crouch said. "I knew in that moment what was about to happen, and I tried to reach him, but I never had a chance. He knew what his choice was; he sacrificed his life for mine, and for the last few days, I've asked myself why he would do such a thing. Am I even worthy of that sacrifice?"

Crouch felt tears stinging his eyes as he blinked. "I just… I want to make sure I prove myself worthy, not only of his trust, but of his sacrifice. He said… he was damned proud of me… like a father of a son, and I knew then… he looked at me like the son he'd never had. Maybe if I had learnt from him sooner… maybe I'd be different, but right now, I just… I know I'm going to do what I can for him, and… that I'll miss him so much."

As Crouch sat down again, he heard others speaking of the strength Moody had, of his dedication, and determination. But those last words were still stuck in his mind.

Had Moody seen him like a son? Could he prove himself worthy of that love and sacrifice? He didn't know, but what he did know is that he'd never stop trying.