Monday, 6th September 1971

For the first time he could remember, Remus woke up on the morning after the full moon on his back in bed, instead of on his stomach on the hard floor, and he didn't feel too bad either. He opened his eyes to confirm what he suspected. Yes, Madam Pomfrey had brought him back to the little room in the hospital wing while he was unconscious. He wasn't too concerned about it. She knew not to touch his skin.

Remus heard footsteps approaching, his hearing still over-sensitive so soon after the moon, and he hauled himself to a sitting position and looked towards the door.

'Ah, good. You're awake,' Madam Pomfrey said as she walked in. 'How do you feel?'

'Tired, but not too bad, a bit sore. Were there any injuries?' Remus asked, his voice croaky from the screaming.

'Nothing big. You tore your fingernails, and there were scratches around the trapdoor this morning. I think the wolf tried to get out.'

'Probably smelled you,' Remus said.

'Yes, that's what I thought. I won't come through the trapdoor in future. There were no other injuries, though. Is that normal?'

'Not at all. I'm usually all torn up.'

Madam Pomfrey frowned. 'I wonder why it was different. If we can figure it out, then we might be able to stop you from being hurt every month.'

Remus thought he knew the answer. The wolf liked the bigger space, but saying so would lead to questions about his accommodations at home, and he didn't want to make his parents look bad.

'I don't know,' he said instead.

'Not to worry. Are you hungry?'

'Starving, but my throat is on fire.'

'Yes, you said that happened. I've been researching, and I've found something to help with the malnutrition. And it should be easy to swallow, even with a sore throat.'

She hurried out of the room and returned a minute later with a full glass of frothy brown liquid and a straw.

'I spoke with Breen, and he told me you're fond of chocolate, is that right?'

Remus grinned and nodded.

'This is a nutrition potion. It has everything in it that your body needs, and it tastes like a chocolate milkshake. I made it nice and cold to soothe your throat.'

Remus licked his lips and leaned forward to take the glass. He glanced at Madam Pomfrey before clasping his lips around the end of the straw and sucking the thick liquid into his mouth. The rich, creamy flavour burst on his tongue, and he swallowed, allowing the icy drink to coat his raw throat with relief. Not only did it taste divine, but it eased the pain as it went down. Madam Pomfrey earned his undying gratitude at that moment.

He grinned up at her. 'It's wonderful. Thank you.'

Madam Pomfrey's face broke out into a beautiful smile. 'I'm so pleased. I want you to drink a full glass with breakfast every morning until I say otherwise. We need to build your strength up. I've given Breen the recipe.'

'I will, I promise.'

'Good. Now, finish that off and then get some more sleep.'

'Yes. Ma'am,' Remus said, giving her a salute.

'Cheeky boy,' she said, smiling.

Sirius' mouth felt dry as a desert as he approached the Transfiguration classroom, and his heart was trying to escape his chest. On his right, James chewed at his lip, and on his left, Peter was breathing heavily. His friends seemed just as nervous as him.

Professor McGonagall glanced up at their entrance, her concerned expression morphing into a glare at the sight of them. She said nothing, merely gesturing for them to find a seat before waving her wand and conjuring a silver cat. She whispered a few words to the animal before the cat bounded away and Professor McGonagall returned her attention to the class.

Sirius noted Remus' absence from the room, and his concern for the boy deepened. Where was he? He wanted to ask James what he thought, but had the unusual foresight to realise talking during the lesson with McGonagall already furious at them would do him no favours, so he kept his mouth shut and tried to concentrate.

'Good morning, class,' Professor McGonagall began. 'For the first half of this double period, we'll be working on the theory behind changing an object's material, but I'm sure you'll be delighted to learn that the second half of the lesson will be practical.'

A few students cheered, and McGonagall's lips twitched in an almost-smile. 'But before you begin learning the art of transfiguration, you must first learn how to fix your mistakes. Which is why you will be learning the spell to revert a transfigured object back to its original state. The spell works the same for a successful transfiguration and a partial transfiguration, so I'm sure you will all get a lot of use out of it over the next few years.'

The class worked on theory for an hour before Professor McGonagall asked everyone to take out their wands for the practical part of the lesson, resulting in a moment of shuffling and rummaging before she was able to continue.

'The incantation for this spell is Reparifarge, and the wand movement is thus.' She waved her wand in a complicated series of twists and flourishes, and the class attempted to copy her. 'Practice the incantation and wand movement for a few minutes while I hand out some objects for you to test yourselves on.'

She proceeded to walk around the room placing a partially transfigured item on each student's desk. Sirius received a misshapen glass bowl with a metallic sheen and half-formed handles sticking out of the bottom.

The students got started, filling the classroom with shouted variations of the word "Reparifarge" and frantic wand waving. Sirius tried unsuccessfully to have any effect on his monstrosity that called itself tableware, and James and Peter were faring no better. A quick glance around the classroom soothed his injured pride. Most of the other students also seemed to be struggling.

It took another half an hour before Sirius managed to alter his bowl-goblet mishmash, and by that point, several other students had also succeeded. Still, when he gazed down at the perfect red glass bowl on his desk, he felt a surge of pride.

'Well done, mate,' James said, slapping him on the back before turning back to his own efforts with renewed vigour.

By the end of the lesson, almost every student had reverted their object at least once, and most had done so multiple times. Those that hadn't yet mastered the spell, which included Peter, were told to take their item back with them and practise for homework. No one would be allowed to begin transfiguring until they could cast Reparifarge.

Professor McGonagall dismissed the class before turning to the corner where Sirius and his friends were seated. 'Misters Black, Potter and Pettigrew, stay behind, I need to have a word with you three.'

'Ooh,' the rest of the students chorused. 'Someone's in trouble!'

The three boys waited while the rest of the class filed out before approaching the teacher's desk. She glowered at them the entire time. A heavy blanket of shame descended on Sirius, crushing the pride from earlier, and he swallowed, hard.

'All three of you were missing from your first class this morning,' she snapped. 'When I checked your dorm, your beds had not been slept in. We searched the castle from top to bottom, and you were nowhere to be found. What do you have to say about this?' She towered over them, glaring down, her face red with fury.

Sirius glanced at his friends, but seeing neither of them making any attempt to speak, he slipped on his Pureblood-heir-to-a-Noble-House persona, perfected through many years of harsh tutoring, and stepped forward.

'Ma'am, we beg your forgiveness,' he said with a bow. 'We never intended to miss Herbology this morning, and we do have an explanation if you would grant us the opportunity to tell it. The story is a long one.'

'I'm listening,' she said, leaning back against her desk and crossing her arms. Her face was still grim, but a shade less red. Sirius took that as a good sign.

'Thank you. Your generosity is most appreciated...'

Professor McGonagall held up a hand, interrupting him. 'Yes. That's quite enough of the airs and graces. Just tell me what happened.'

Sirius inclined his head. 'Sorry, Ma'am. As I was saying, yesterday morning, James, Peter and I attempted to wake Remus for breakfast, but he wouldn't wake up, so we decided to bring him some food back from the Great Hall. He never seems to eat, you see. We've been quite worried about him, haven't we?' Sirius nudged James and Peter on either side of him with his elbows, and they both agreed.

'Is this relevant, Mister Black?' Professor McGonagall asked, pursing her lips at what she clearly thought was time-wasting.

'Yes, Ma'am,' Sirius said, nodding. 'Anyway, when we returned, Remus had already left, so we left the food on his bedside table for him and went out to explore the castle. We wanted to find the best routes to class, you see.'

'Yes, I'm sure that's the reason,' Professor McGonagall said, her tone wry.

Sirius chose to ignore that. 'We returned to the dorm about an hour before curfew, and the food we left for Remus was still there. We judged that to mean he hadn't been back to the room all day. He seems the type to clean up that kind of thing, don't you think?'

'That would seem an accurate assessment of his personality, yes.'

'Right.' Sirius nodded firmly. 'So, it still being there worried us. But it was still an hour until curfew, so we settled down to do our homework.'

Professor McGonagall raised a sceptical eyebrow. 'Homework?'

Sirius eyes widened at her disbelieving tone. 'Yes. We spent the evening doing our homework. I'm offended that you don't believe me,' Sirius said, clutching at his chest. He was really getting into his role, and he could see James trying not to laugh out of the corner of his eye, spurring him on.

'Alright,' Professor McGonagall said, holding up both hands in surrender, 'I believe you. Please continue.'

'Yes, Ma'am. Curfew came and went, and Remus still hadn't returned. We found his continued absence alarming, especially since we hadn't seen him all day. And so, we resolved to check the hospital wing.'

Professor McGonagall sighed. 'You did not think to alert a prefect?'

Sirius slapped the heel of his hand to his forehead. 'Alas! We did not. We would have avoided this whole mess, had we only thought of that solution.'

Sirius saw McGonagall's mouth twitch, giving him the courage to continue.

'We were almost at the hospital wing when we were startled by the caretaker's cat. I must admit, we panicked. We knew Mr Filch wouldn't listen to our explanation, as you so kindly have, and so we ran and hid inside a classroom. When we heard Mr Filch coming, we scrambled for somewhere to hide and discovered a hidden passage behind the blackboard. We crawled inside and down the tunnel, but it was a dead end. We were trapped.' Sirius flung his arms into the air to emphasise the dire nature of the situation they had found themselves in.

'And so you did the only sensible thing left to you and crawled out to face your punishment,' Professor McGonagall said, arching an eyebrow again.

'I am afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you again,' Sirius said, shaking his head sadly while gazing at the floor. He looked back up at Professor McGonagall and continued, 'We were scared, you see? We stayed in the passage to wait for Mr Filch to leave, and we fell asleep.'

'I see. And this morning?'

'By the time we awoke, it was nine o'clock, and we were filthy from the passageway. We decided it'd be best to not disrupt the class by turning up half an hour late in such a state, and we returned to our dorm to shower and change. But, Professor, the food we left for Remus was still there. I don't wish to get him into any trouble, but I'm awfully worried. He must have been out all night too, and he wasn't in class.' Sirius stared up at the professor with wide, pleading eyes, begging her silently to take his concern seriously.

'Mister Lupin is in the hospital wing. I understand he is fine and will be released this evening. I'm afraid I can't discuss the details with you. Medical records are confidential.'

'But he's okay?' Sirius asked, his tone hopeful. He smiled. 'That's such a relief, thank you for telling us.'

'You're welcome. Your concern for your dorm mate's welfare is commendable. However, the three of you made a series of bad, impulsive, decisions. Which caused a lot of problems for the staff. Our entire morning was disrupted searching for you, and that must be addressed. Fifty points from each of you,' she said, looking pained. 'And detention. You may go.'

'Thank you, Ma'am,' Sirius said with another bow, 'and we are very sorry.'

'I believe you,' she said.

They left the classroom and made it halfway down the corridor before James gave in to his desire to laugh.

'Mate!' he wheezed. 'You were brilliant! She was so scary, and you just went for it. You weren't even phased!'

'Scary? Ha! You haven't seen scary until you've faced down my mother. That was nothing,' Sirius said, laughing.

Remus was sitting up in bed eating his lunch and enjoying the view of the Black Lake through his window when a knock sounded on the door of his hospital room.

'Come in,' he called and almost choked on his sandwich when Professor McGonagall walked in instead of Madam Pomfrey. Though, when he thought about it, Madam Pomfrey didn't knock.

'Good afternoon, Mister Lupin. How are you feeling?'

'I'm okay, thank you, Professor.'

'I'm glad to hear it. Madam Pomfrey tells me you had a good night?'

'Yes, much better than usual,' he said, feeling his face warm. He wasn't used to discussing his lycanthropy with anyone but his mum. It was embarrassing.

'That is good to hear, I hope it continues.' She conjured a chair beside his bed and sat down. 'I'm sure you're wondering why I'm here. I'm afraid we have a bit of a problem.'

Remus' heart sank into his stomach. Had they decided he was too much hassle after all?

'Don't look so worried. You're not about to be kicked out,' she said as if reading his mind. 'The problem is your dorm mates. Your disappearance last night worried them, and they went looking for you. Due to a series of poor decisions, they stayed out all night and missed their first class this morning. I've told them you were in the hospital wing all night, so you'll need to think of a reason for that because they will ask.'

Remus nodded, his mind already throwing up and dismissing potential excuses for his hospital stay.

'And from now on, make sure you give them an excuse before you leave.'

'I will. I'm sorry for causing so much trouble. I didn't think they'd care. We're not exactly friends.'

'Maybe you should give them a chance. They seem to like you,' McGonagall said with a smile.

'Maybe,' Remus said, tapping his fingers on the mattress next to him. 'Professor, while you're here, can I ask a question?'

'You may always ask questions,' she said, inclining her head.

Remus smiled his thanks. 'In the first Transfiguration lesson, you said our magical cores work like an immune system. I wondered if that meant mine would have less power available because it's constantly fighting the lycanthropy?'

Professor McGonagall smiled. 'Actually, I think the opposite will be true. Your magical core has been regularly exercised fighting the lycanthropy for several years. I'd not be surprised to find you were much more powerful than your peers.'

Remus grinned. 'Really?'

'Yes,' Professor McGonagall said, nodding, 'but don't go testing that theory on seventh-year spells. We don't want any accidents.'

Remus shook his head. 'No, Professor.'

'Good boy. Right, I'll leave you to rest now.' She stood up and vanished her chair before leaving Remus alone in the hospital room.

Remus lay in bed thinking over what he'd been told. He was worried about having to make excuses to his dorm-mates every month. Wouldn't that just draw more attention to his absences? If he varied his excuses, though, it might help. Sometimes he could be sick, sometimes a family member. His mum would be best. She was a muggle, so he could say she had some muggle illness that involved flare-ups of some kind. Then there could be an occasional death in the family, or big event he had to attend. No one knew he didn't have contact with any family except his parents.

Another option tried to make itself heard. It had been there for a while now, hidden behind a locked door in his mind. But it was becoming more insistent, rattling the door on its hinges and begging to be released. He let it out to examine it properly. The option of becoming their friend.

They definitely wanted to be his friend. He was sure of that now. And he wanted it too, so that was the first obstacle out of the way. The second obstacle, his lycanthropy, was much harder to overcome. He had never needed to make such an important decision before, and he wasn't sure how to go about it. This was too important to leave to gut instinct or emotion. It needed a more intellectual approach. Notes or graphs, some way to organise his thoughts. He got out of bed and grabbed some parchment and a quill from his bag, and a textbook to rest against.

Comfortably propped up, he rested the textbook with parchment against his bent knees and drew a line down the centre to make two columns. He labelled them "pros and cons of befriending my dorm-mates" and settled down to think it through.

He spent over an hour on his list, thinking hard about every aspect of the situation. When he was finished, he had several points in both columns, and he looked them over and weighted each one on a scale of 1: unimportant - 5: very important.

Pros

Having friends would be nice - 2

They seem fun - 1

Sirius would be less suspicious of me - 5

If they did find out, they might be okay with it - 5

I stand out more if I'm always alone - 4

Cons

They would take more notice of when I'm gone - 5

Less chance of them finding out if we're not friends - 5

Would be a distraction from schoolwork - 3

He added up the totals and was happy to find that the pros won. His face broke out in a stupid smile, and his stomach churned with excitement. He'd never had a actual friend before, and he was about to have three.

'Good Afternoon and welcome to your first Charms class. My name is Professor Flitwick.'

The tiny professor stood atop a stack of books in order to be seen by those at the back of the classroom, and Sirius was struggling to hold back his laughter at the sight.

'Today, you will be learning one of the easiest charms to master, the wand lighting charm. The reason it's so easy is that there's no wand movement, just an incantation. Lumos.' Professor Flitwick held his wand aloft so everyone could see the bright yellow glow at the tip.

James bent close to Sirius' ear. 'Now that would have been useful last night,' he whispered.

'I'm sure it'll be just as useful in future excursions,' Sirius whispered back, grinning.

James returned his grin. 'Undoubtedly.'

The class practised the spell, and its counter, Nox, until everyone had them mastered, which didn't take very long, and then Professor Flitwick led them into a practice area behind his classroom, telling them to split into teams of three.

The practice area was clearly enchanted to fit inside the space. It was enormous.

'For this lesson, I've created several courses, each one an identical maze. Inside the mazes, the pathways are blocked by doors, which can only be opened by shining wand light onto the runes etched on them. Your task is to navigate the maze, collecting the three tokens contained within.' He held up a golden-coloured disk. 'You will only be able to open one door at a time, and to close each door, you must Nox your wand. The team that returns first will receive twenty house points to each member. Please choose a maze and prepare to begin.'

Once the teams had all moved to an entrance, Professor Flitwick counted them in and the race began.

Sirius' team were not the first to finish, which was a shame. The points would have gone a long way towards restoring what they'd lost over the past few days.

'Who cares about house points?' James said when Sirius mentioned that fact. 'They're just a way to make students pressure each other into following rules. Meaningless, really.'

Sirius thought about it and had to agree. That epiphany went a long way towards easing his guilt about losing Gryffindor so many points.

Defence Against the Dark Arts, the final lesson of the day, was spectacular. Shortly after the class began, Professor Hawthorne announced they would be studying acromantula, and Emhio shifted into one. The sudden appearance of a giant spider in the classroom caused half the class, including Peter, to leap from their seats squealing and dash to the back of the room. The remaining students dissolved into fits of laughter at their reaction.

Once Professor Hawthorne had managed to calm them down and restore order to the classroom, they examined the creature up close and discussed the best ways to attack to get through its defences and survive an encounter. Its most vulnerable point was the underside of its abdomen, and the best tactic was to wait for it to rear up to attack and then fire a slashing or burning spell at its belly.

Overall Sirius found the lesson interesting; Peter did not agree.

'That was horrifying. I'm going to have terrible nightmares tonight,' he said as they left the class, still shaking with nerves.

'Don't worry, mate, we'll keep the acromantula out of the dorm,' Sirius said with a laugh.

Remus had been released from the hospital wing an hour earlier and, feeling energised from Madam Pomfrey's incredible nutrition potion, had gone straight to an unused classroom to practise his transfiguration. He stood in the room, staring proudly at the fruits of his labour after succeeding in transfiguring all of his school books different colours by using his bag as the container. He repeated the process to revert them to their original state and packed away to return to the dorm.

Remus was looking forward to seeing his dorm mates after making the decision to befriend them, and he was in high spirits from his success when he reached the room they all shared. Sirius was lounging on his bed, and James and Peter were sitting together on Peter's bed. It looked like James was helping Peter with a spell.

'You're back!' Sirius yelled, jumping to his feet and rushing over so fast that Remus took a step backwards. He stopped dead inches away from him. 'Hey, it's okay. I'm not going to touch you,' Sirius said, holding up his hands. 'Are you okay? McGoogles said you were in the hospital wing.'

'Yeah, I'm fine,' Remus said. Then he frowned. 'Wait. McGoogles?'

James and Peter both laughed at his confusion. 'That's Sirius' new nickname for McGonagall. Apparently, he's going to marry her,' James said.

Sirius nodded with enthusiasm. It made him look a little insane.

'So what was wrong with you then? McGonagall wouldn't tell us,' Peter asked.

'Was it an overdose?' Sirius blurted.

Remus was shocked and reacted instinctively in defence. 'What? No! Why the hell would you think that?'

'Um. Well. When we found you in that classroom, you were flat out in that chair and there was an empty potion bottle...'

'So you jumped to the conclusion that I'm a potion addict?' Remus interrupted.

Realising just how observant Sirius was frightened him. He noticed tiny details that others would overlook and put them together to create a picture. On this occasion, he was way off the mark, but how long would it be before he connected the right clues and reached the right answer? His fear fed off his desire for friendship and turned to anger.

'Fuck you, Black.'

He stomped over to his bed and pulled the curtains around himself. All his positive feelings had evaporated. There was nothing left but rage, and he had no outlet for it. It wasn't fair that he had to be so careful. Fucking hell, it wasn't fair that he was a werewolf in the first place and had to suffer such horrendous pain every month, but the fact that on top of everything he couldn't even risk having a friend? It was more than unfair; it was downright cruel.

He took a deep breath to try to calm himself, but he kept hearing Sirius' voice in his head asking, "Was it an overdose?" and he wanted to scream. In the back of his mind, he knew he needed to calm down. He couldn't release his fury the way he had at home, couldn't let them see the Beast inside.

It was easy to slip into a meditative state in the end. The months of practising paid off, and his mindscape opened to him swiftly and pulled him in. He lost track of time as he explored the rooms and corridors, easing his rage back inside its prison and locking it away to protect himself before eventually falling into a peaceful slumber.