Tuesday, 7th September 1971

Sirius woke the next morning with a heavy head and scratchy, tender eyes after lying awake much of the night hating himself for his total fucking lack of impulse control. Why did he find thinking before speaking so difficult? Everyone else managed it without a problem. Remus had been talking to him, friendly, and he had to blurt out a stupid, fucking offensive question and piss him off. He was an idiot!

Granted, as fuck-ups went, it didn't quite reach the heady heights of snubbing the very person he was waiting for because he didn't recognise him, but it came a close second. His last thought before falling asleep had been a memory, the expression of sheer delight on Remus' face when presented with chocolate cake. If anything could win him back, Sirius thought, it was chocolate.

In the Great Hall an hour and a half later, Sirius encountered a problem with his plan. Hogwarts didn't provide much in the way of chocolate delicacies for breakfast. He eyed the table. Plenty of meat, cereals and fruit, but not a whole lot of cocoa-based delights. The chocolate croissants might be good enough, though. They were freshly baked, and when he reached over with a napkin-covered hand to take a couple, he discovered they were still warm.

'I'll see you in Charms,' he told James and Peter as he got to his feet and pulled his bag onto his shoulder. 'I want to speak to Remus before class.'

Sirius made his way to the Charms corridor, planning to wait around in the hope of catching Remus before he went to class, and luck was on his side. A few minutes after Sirius arrived, Remus rounded the corner.

'Remus. Hi,' he called to attract his attention. Remus stopped and gazed at him expectantly. 'Look, I'm sorry about last night. Sometimes I say things without thinking. Well, a lot of the time. Okay, I basically never think.' Sirius ran his hand through his hair. This wasn't going well at all. What now? Right, chocolate. 'I brought you some breakfast. Another peace offering? I'm afraid they don't serve cake at breakfast, but these have chocolate.' He held out the two croissants wrapped in napkins. Remus looked at them for a moment before his eyes flicked back up to Sirius'.

'Thanks, but I'm not hungry.'

Sirius didn't know what to say to that. How could he not be hungry? Where was he getting food if he never went to the hall? Looking at him closely in the bright sunlight shining in through the many windows, Sirius saw that he looked gaunt and tired, with pale skin and clearly defined bags under his eyes. His robes hung loosely on his body, and his hands had a slight tremor.

'Did you already eat?' he asked.

Remus nodded. 'Yeah.'

Sirius stared at him for a moment. 'How? I never see you in the Great Hall.'

Remus adjusted his bag on his shoulder and fiddled with the strap. 'The headmaster lets me eat in the kitchen because of my phobia. He thought it was unfair to make me eat in the hall.'

'Oh. We thought you had an eating disorder or something because you never seemed to eat anything.'

Remus' eyes widened. 'You talked about me?'

'Erm. Yes? Just because we were worried about you. We weren't being mean or anything.' Sirius was nervous now. Had he put his foot in it again?

Remus sighed. 'Look, I don't mean to be rude, but I don't appreciate being studied and discussed like some interesting new creature that's recently been discovered.'

Sirius was aghast. 'Merlin, no! It wasn't like that at all.'

'I don't really care, Sirius. Just leave me alone, okay? And stop watching me all the time.'

With that, Remus spun on his heels and hurried away towards the Charms classroom, leaving Sirius standing at the end of the corridor with his mouth hanging open, lost for words.

Utterly defeated. Remus could think of no better way to describe the complex mixture of emotions he was feeling as he took his seat in Charms. He must have been delirious the day before, thinking having friends would be safe. It would never be safe. Getting close to people was too risky. One person learning his secret would be all it took for him to be kicked out of school. And the opportunity Dumbledore had given him was a gift. He could not, would not, waste it.

Lily pulled out the chair next to him and sat down, drawing him from his thoughts. Remus smiled at her in greeting. He felt safe with her. She didn't nose into his business or ask difficult questions that he couldn't answer, and she respected his boundaries.

'Hi, Remus, I noticed you weren't in class yesterday, so I made copies of all my notes for you. Here.' She slid a pile of parchment across the table to him. 'I hope you're okay?'

'I'm fine, thank you,' Remus said. He waited, wondering if further questions about his absence would come next and prove his thoughts wrong. Would he have to end this potential friendship too?

'Good. You didn't miss much in Herbology. We were planting dittany, but everything you need to know is in there.' She pointed at the notes.

Remus picked up the pile of parchment and flicked through the pages as Lily continued to talk about the lessons he had missed.

'I don't know how you feel about spiders, but you might be glad you missed Defence yesterday. Emhio turned into an acromantula; it was awful,' she said with a delicate shudder. Remus didn't mind spiders and thought it sounded fascinating, but he stayed silent. 'We learned reparifarge in Transfiguration, the spell to revert something to its original state?'

Remus nodded that he understood.

'You might want to speak to Professor McGonagall and get an item to practise on. It seemed important that we can do it. Oh, and it's a shame you missed Charms. We learned the wand lighting spell and then had to complete a maze to practise it. It was really fun, but I'm sure you'll be able to manage that one with just the notes. It's not hard,' she said all in one breath before offering him a bright smile and tucking her hair behind her ear.

Remus felt a surge of pure joy. She had glossed right over the reason for his hospital stay and focused instead on helping him catch up on what he missed. It was exactly what he needed from a friend. 'Thanks, Lily. This is amazing. I really appreciate it,'

'It's no problem, I hope you'd do the same for me if I had to miss class,' she said, smirking at him.

'Absolutely,' he said, chuckling at the blatant hint.

'Good morning, class,' Professor Flitwick said over the noise of the chattering students. He paused while they all settled down and turned their attention to him. 'Today's lesson is the Flagrate charm. It's a wonderful spell for perfecting one's aim and wand control, and I think you'll find it a lot of fun. It allows you to draw on surfaces with a non-damaging flame, like so.'

Professor Flitwick demonstrated the charm by drawing an impressively accurate picture of a dragon on the blackboard. The flames gave the image an ethereal quality that Remus thought beautiful.

The students enjoyed themselves drawing words and pictures all over the classroom. Professor Flitwick was quick to vanish anything rude but didn't bother to punish the casters, instead complimenting them on their spell work. Lily was drawing flowers on everything with a cheerful smile on her face and Remus practised writing words after realising the spell would be a fantastic way of leaving a message to go with his little bit of mischief. By the end of the lesson, everyone was fairly competent at the charm, and Professor Flitwick gave the entire class five house points for their hard work.

Lounging on his bed, full and lethargic after lunch, Sirius' mind returned to the problem of Remus. He had discussed their conversation that morning with James and Peter. They were both as surprised as him and agreed it was unfair to accuse Sirius of treating him like a fascinating new creature when they were just worried about him. But Peter pointed out that if that's how Remus felt, then they should back off.

Sirius didn't want to back off, he wanted Remus' friendship. It had been hard watching him get along so well with that Evans girl in Charms. Then she and Remus worked together planting shrivelfigs in Herbology and sat together again in Defence while they studied Ashwinders. It was unbearable. What did she have that Sirius didn't? He had to find out.

'Sirius, will you stop sulking about Remus and get over here? We need your help,' James called from where he and Peter were crouched on the floor with a box of soap and a bucket of frogspawn. James had written to his father to acquire the items, and his father had sent them immediately, along with a note telling him not to, under any circumstances, tell his mother. Sirius was not jealous of James because of his father, not at all.

'I'm not sulking, I'm thinking, you git,' Sirius said, launching himself off the bed to tackle James to the floor and tickle him mercilessly.

'Get off,' James cried in between bouts of uncontrollable laughter. 'We don't have time. Remus could come back at any moment.'

Sirius stopped and sat up, but remained on top of James, straddling his thighs and pinning him to the ground. 'Don't you see? That's why we need him to be our friend. Then we wouldn't have to worry about him walking in when we're planning stuff.'

'I don't know, mate. He doesn't really seem like the mischief-making type to me,' James said, straightening his glasses.

'Maybe he wouldn't join in, but at least he wouldn't tell.'

'He told you to leave him alone though. We can't force him to be our friend,' Peter said.

Sirius frowned. 'No. We can't. But we can make him want to be.'

James sighed. 'You already tried that, it didn't work.'

'No, I just ruined it by not keeping my mouth shut. I just need to stop talking too much.'

'Well, good luck with that,' James said, rolling his eyes. 'Now are you going to help or not?'

'Sure. Show me what to do,' Sirius said.

'You'll have to let me up first,' James said, waving his hand to indicate his legs still trapped beneath Sirius' ass.

Wednesday, 8th September 1971, 1:30pm

Standing outside in the middle of the training grounds next to a broom, Remus shivered. Not from the temperature—it was a fairly warm afternoon, and the sky was a brilliant clear blue—but from nerves.

'Okay, everyone. Stand next to your brooms, hold your hand over them and say, "Up,"' said Madam Hooch.

Remus did as instructed, and his broom twitched a little but otherwise didn't move. Opposite him, Sirius and James' brooms both shot into their hands on their first attempt, and they stood holding them and smirking round at the other students. Peter, however, didn't seem to be having any more luck than Remus. Lily was to his left, and her broom bounced twice before changing its mind and staying put.

Trying again, Remus held his hand out and, using a firm voice, said, 'Up!' To his amazement, the broom leapt into his hand with so much force that he staggered backwards a little and Lily giggled.

Madam Hooch showed them how to mount their brooms and marched down the lines of students, correcting their holds and making sure they were seated properly, before telling them to push off gently, rise a few feet and then lean forward to land.

Remus' heart rate sped up at the instruction. The one trait he and the wolf shared was a dislike for heights. Well, not heights exactly. More a dislike for the potential of falling and splattering on the ground. He considered this to be a sensible fear and couldn't understand why more people didn't share it.

Remus hesitated and glanced around at the other students. Lily had already risen into the air beside him, and the sound of her mad giggling floated down from above. Sirius and James were in the air and zooming around as if born to fly. Show-offs. Madam Hooch yelled at them to come down and blew her whistle. The high-pitched sound hurt Remus' ears, and he winced.

After taking a deep-breath to steady his nerves, he gathered his courage and pushed off. Remus rose into the air slowly, hovered a few feet above the ground and leant forward to descend. Much to his relief, the broom brought him to a gentle stop at ground level, and he dismounted with a grateful sigh. It was to be short-lived, though, for the next task was to reach a height of ten feet, fly in a straight line to the other end of the training ring and then land. Remus gulped.

Lining up with everyone else, Remus manoeuvred himself to stand behind James and in front of Lily. Both knew of his "phobia," and he trusted them to keep their distance. He watched as each student, in turn, took to the air and completed the run. Some were more competent than others. Unlike the other classes, in this one, it was easy to tell the muggle-born from the pure-blood. The pure-bloods acted confident and comfortable on the back of a broom, most likely having flown before. The muggle-borns behaved more cautiously, taking their time to get accustomed to the strangeness of riding a broom instead of sweeping the floor with it.

Remus gaped in awe as first Sirius shot across the sky, followed closely by James, who attempted to over-take him and almost managed it. And then it was his turn. He took a deep, steadying breath, mounted his broom and pushed off. As he rose into the sky, he kept his eyes focused on the horizon, chanting to himself not to look down.

The problem started when he reached the specified height and needed to accelerate. In the process of leaning forward, he caught sight of the ground and realised just how far away it was. His head spun and black specks appeared at the corner of his eyes. He leant further forward in an attempt to stay on the broom. It was most unfortunate that the broom took this as a signal to speed up. The ground rushing past at such a great speed finished the job and Remus fell.

He hit the ground with a loud thump and a sickening crack. Familiar pain shot through his wrist, and he knew it was broken. He wasn't too concerned about it; it would be fine in half an hour. That was the problem. Everyone saw him fall. They would expect injuries. To make matters worse, the watching students were running towards him to see if he was okay.

'Hey back off! Don't touch him!'

The voice belonged to Sirius. Thank Merlin, he was keeping the others away.

Sirius crouched down next to him, positioning himself in Remus' line of sight but at a comfortable distance.

'Hey. Are you alright, mate?' he asked, his face creased with concern.

'Yeah, I think so.'

'Can you stand? I think you should go to the hospital wing. You fell a long way.'

'Alright, everyone. Give him some room,' Madam Hooch said, huffing for breath after hurrying across the grass. 'Are you injured, Mister Lupin?'

'Just my wrist, I think, Professor.'

'Well, that's not so bad. Madam Pomfrey will have you fixed up in no time. Mister Black, help him to the hospital wing. The rest of you, back to flying.'

Sirius nodded at Madam Hooch but made no move towards Remus, who was trying to haul himself to his feet.

'Well, help him up then, boy.'

'No, Ma'am,' Sirius said, turning his head to the professor with a serious expression on his face. 'Remus doesn't like to be touched. He'll say if he wants me to help.'

Remus nodded. 'He's right, professor. I'd rather do it myself.'

Sirius beamed at the confirmation.

When he was finally upright, they started towards the school.

'You don't have to come, you know? I can manage,' Remus said, thinking it would be easier to hide the healing if Sirius left now.

'I better had. You might have a head injury and pass out on the way there or something.'

Remus thought that unlikely, given his lycanthropy, but didn't argue.

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Sirius cleared his throat and said, 'Just in case. If you did pass out, would you want me to catch you or just let you fall?'

Remus turned his head sharply, thinking Sirius was taking the piss, but his face was sincere.

'Just let me fall,' Remus said.

'Right,' Sirius said, and he nodded. 'While I've got you here, captive so to speak.' Sirius smirked at him before turning his head down to gaze at his feet while they walked. 'I wanted to say, I'm really sorry for making you feel like an interesting creature being studied. I feel like a complete dick, and I promise to back off and leave you alone.'

The words came out in a garbled rush, but Remus understood.

'Thank you, Sirius. I appreciate that.'

Sirius looked up. Remus smiled at him and Sirius grinned like a buffoon. They were almost at the hospital wing, which was good because Remus could already feel his wrist healing and Sirius was now staring at it with a confused expression. When Remus glanced down, he could see that it was visibly less bent than it had been. Shit.

'We're almost there. You can get back to flying class now if you want. It looked like you were enjoying yourself, and we only get the one this year.'

Sirius looked torn. 'Are you sure you'll be okay? I don't mind,' he said, but he clearly did, it was written all over his face.

'Yeah, go on. I feel fine. I don't want to keep you from the air.'

'Alright then, see you later,' he said. And he was gone. Remus breathed a sigh of relief, crisis averted, and entered the hospital wing.

'Hello, Remus. Everything alright?' Madam Pomfrey asked when she saw the identity of her patient.

'Fell off my broom and broke my wrist. It'll be fine in a few minutes, though.'

'Well, let me have a look, anyway.'

Remus held out the damaged arm, and Madam Pomfrey waved her wand over it before checking the results.

'It's a clean break. I can fix it for you now if you don't want to wait through the healing process.'

'Might as well,' Remus said, nodding.

Madam Pomfrey cast Episkey, and Remus yelped as his bones knit back together much quicker than he was used to.

'Good as new,' she said.

Remus rubbed his newly healed wrist. 'Thank you.'

'You can go back to your dorm if you like. I believe you have astronomy tonight? A nap might be a good idea.'

Remus nodded, thanked her again and left. A nap sounded delightful.

Astronomy class turned out to be boring as hell. They spent the majority of the lesson learning how to use a telescope. Sirius already knew how to use a telescope. He'd been forced into observing the stars from the age of three, and to be brutally honest, he was sick to bloody death of the things. Zoning out of the lecture on how to correctly focus the lens, Sirius glanced over towards Remus and was pleased to note that he had a fully functioning hand again. Watching him fall out of the sky like a stone had been terrifying. It was remarkable that he came out of it with nothing but a broken wrist.

After noting that Remus was fine, Sirius remembered his promise and turned away. Giving his attention to James and Peter, who were fooling around with the telescope while the teacher's back was turned helping someone else.

Once everyone understood how to manipulate the telescope's various settings, Professor Sinastra made them practise by finding the moon and noting its position and phase on a chart. Sirius gazed at the moon for a few minutes, remembering how he used to look at it and think about the boy who stood up for him that one time. It was close to full tonight, just beginning to wane. It would have been at its most beautiful just a few nights ago. Sirius silently promised himself to make a point of looking at the moon the next time it was full. He missed doing stars might be boring but the moon was fascinating.

After class, the three friends lagged at the back of the crowd as the two houses headed back to their respective towers. When the students parted ways, they attempted to join the back of the Ravenclaw group, planning to slip away into a concealed passage they knew of on the way to Ravenclaw tower. They were thwarted in their efforts by the bloody Evans girl that Remus liked so much.

'Where are you three going exactly?' she said, her high, clear voice ringing out above the quiet chatter of the students. 'Off to lose us even more points? Haven't you lost enough yet? Or maybe you have some innocent victim lined up to attack somewhere?'

'What the hell are you on about?' Sirius barked. 'What innocent victim have we attacked exactly?'

Everyone stopped to watch the exchange, forming a rough circle around Evans and the three boys. Sirius spotted Remus watching from a distance through a gap between two Gryffindors.

'You know very well who. Severus spent hours in the hospital wing after you blew up his cauldron. Those scratches on his arms could have left permanent scarring.'

'Ha! I had good reason for doing that,' Sirius said, tossing his hair and puffing out his chest.

Evans crossed her arms. 'Really? Please do explain.'

Sirius hesitated. He couldn't announce in front of all these people what Snape had done to Remus. Even if he wasn't already on thin ice with him, he knew someone like Remus would be mortified by that kind of attention. 'Well, he's a greasy git, isn't he? Bloody deserved it,' he said instead, knowing full well it made him sound like a dick.

'Ugh. You're horrid, Black. Absolutely horrid,' Lily said, spinning around and causing her long, red hair to swing in a perfect arc before marching away up the corridor.

The rest of the students dispersed, many shooting Sirius dirty looks as they left, Sirius didn't care though. For once in his life, he didn't act impulsively. He'd thought before he spoke, and made the right choice. This was a total win for self-control.

'She is so beautiful,' James mumbled from beside him.

'What?' Sirius said, turning to find James staring after the Evans girl with a dream-like expression on his face.

'Did you see the way her hair caught the light when she spun around and stormed away?' James sighed. 'And her eyes. They're so green.'

'Green is Slytherin's colour. We don't like green,' Sirius said, trying very hard to be patient. What the hell had gotten into him? Whatever it was, Sirius didn't like it at all.

James looked stricken for a moment, then his expression cleared. 'Her hair's red though, and that's Gryffindor's colour. And there's more hair than eyes, so it's fine.' He nodded, as if reassuring himself. 'Don't you think she's beautiful?'

'Not really, mate. Can't see the appeal.'

'Girls are icky,' Peter said.

Sirius pointed at him, 'Yes, exactly. What's wrong with you, mate?'

'You just wait. She'll be Lily Potter one day,' James said, nodding emphatically before marching off up the corridor towards Gryffindor tower.

Sirius and Peter glanced at each other with confusion. Somehow, Sirius didn't think James meant his declaration of impending marriage in quite the same way he had when talking about McGonagall. And he was going the wrong way.

'James! What about the frog-spawn soap?' Sirius hissed after him.

'We'll do it another time. If we do it now, they'll know it was us,' James called back over his shoulder.

'So?' Sirius said to Peter. 'Since when did James care about being caught?'

Peter just shrugged.

They chased after James down the corridor and caught up with him just outside of the portrait hole where the bottle-neck had caused a pile-up. Remus sidled over to them and leaned close enough to Sirius to speak quietly.

'Can I ask you something?'

Sirius nodded and walked a few meters away from the crowd waiting to enter the common room.

When they stopped, Remus turned to face him. He glanced into his eyes before looking down and fiddling with the end of his tie. 'Why did you really attack Snape?' he asked.

Fuck, Sirius thought, how was he supposed to answer that? The truth would mean admitting to even more of the very behaviour Remus had complained about. But he didn't want to lie to him. He shuffled his feet. Truth or lie, truth or lie? His thoughts were frantic.

Finally, staring at the top of Remus' head, he spoke in a whisper. 'I did it for you.'

Remus jerked his head up and looked Sirius in the eyes. 'What do you mean?'

'He did something to you in the owlery, right? You came back to the dorm covered in shit and feathers, and he's got injuries from an owl he didn't get treatment for. Doesn't take a genius to work it out.'

Remus' eyes glistened. 'Thank you,' he said.