A/N I'm really excited about this one, let me know what you think :)

Monday, 13th September 1971, 9:30 pm

Remus was lying on his bed curled into a ball with his knees tucked into his chest and his arms wrapped around them, and he was trying very hard not to make a sound while he sobbed. It hadn't taken long for it to all be ruined. After just four days of his company, Sirius was sick of him to the point of shouting at him and bolting. Remus had been stunned for a minute after Sirius stormed from the Transfiguration classroom. His ears had been buzzing; he had been aware that James was saying something to him, but he hadn't heard a word. A few minutes later, class ended and Remus had gathered his things and left without a word to the others. He would make this easy for them. They'd been kind and welcoming to him; he didn't want to put them through the moral struggle of deciding who to side with. Sirius was their friend first.

Remus had continued to avoid them for the rest of the day. He spent lunch in the kitchen with the house-elves where he discovered that Breen made for a very good listening ear, and the very serious elf advised him not to jump to conclusions without knowing all the facts. Remus ignored this advice. He knew all the facts already. It was simple. Sirius was fed up with him and didn't want to be around him anymore. He'd known it would happen eventually. It was a little surprising that it only took four days, but that just meant he was weirder than he thought.

In Charms, they continued their work on Finite Incantatum, and he sat alone at the back of the class. He didn't look towards his dorm mates' corner on the other side of the room, but he felt their eyes on him several times during the lesson. He didn't understand why they would keep looking at him when he was giving them what they wanted, but he kept his eyes on the dancing dollhouse furniture on his desk that he was supposed to be ending the charm on and ignored them.

In Defence, Lily had given him a confused look when he sat down heavily next to her.

'Remus? Are you okay?' she asked.

Remus was surprised she'd realised he was upset just from looking at him. Generally, he didn't show his emotions on his face. He wondered if he should tell her the truth about what was on his mind, but decided against it. She wasn't nosy or pushy, but he still thought it best to keep her at arm's length.

'Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit tired. Mondays are hard,' he said.

'Aren't they? I can't understand why we have so many free periods the rest of the week, and none on a Monday.'

The Defence lesson went without a hitch. Emhio turned into a type of giant snake called a basilisk which was scary, but it was incredible to have the opportunity to study such a rare creature without risk. A few of the students who had snake phobias were too afraid to approach and took notes from the back of the class. Remus pretended to be one of them to avoid the crowd around Emhio, but wished he could get closer too.

After classes were done for the day, Remus went to the library to complete his homework and then to the kitchens, where he stayed until curfew. He hid in the common room until nine-fifteen, but when his eyes started drifting closed, he knew he couldn't avoid the dorm room any longer and proceeded upstairs with a sick weight, heavy in his stomach.

The others had all looked up from their various occupations when he entered, but he kept his eyes on the ground and hurried to his bed, drawing the curtains around him to shut them out before they could say anything.

And there he lay, trying to stay silent while he cried. Wishing he was normal so he could have friends for longer than four days without driving them off. He knew it would never happen, but it was all he wanted in life. Just the impossible. That's all.

Tuesday 14th September, 11:30 am

As he walked into the Defence classroom on Tuesday morning, Sirius glanced towards the desk Remus always shared with Lily and saw he was already seated, head down, staring at the blank parchment on his desk. The reflex was automatic. Whenever he entered a room, he looked for Remus. It was even worse now that Remus wasn't talking to him. He knew he deserved it, but that didn't make it any easier to deal with.

Sirius took his seat next to James and sighed.

'Just apologise, mate. Tell him what happened. I'm sure he'll understand,' James said.

'I'm trying,' Sirius said, flinging his hands in the air briefly before leaning his chair back on two legs. 'But he won't stay still long enough for me to speak to him, I don't want to do it in the classroom where anyone could hear, and he disappears as soon as class is over.'

Their conversation was interrupted by Professor Hawthorne dragging an enormous trunk into the room. He positioned it in front of Emhio's pool and stood up straight to address the class. The trunk rattled ominously.

'Good morning, class. We will not be needing Emhio's services today, as we'll be studying the real thing. Would anyone like to take a stab at guessing what's in my trunk?'

Several people raised their hands, including James. Sirius did not. He knew the answer, but he was too busy worrying about what would happen next to think about answering the question. Dread hung over him like the thick smog of the London dawn.

'Yes, Mister Stebbins?' Professor Hawthorne asked, calling on one of the Ravenclaw students.

'It's a boggart, sir.'

'Correct. Five points to Ravenclaw,' Professor Hawthorne said.

Sirius zoned out while the Professor explained what a boggart was and how it attacked. He already knew, that was the problem. If Professor Hawthorne was expecting them to go up against the boggart... Well. He wasn't at all sure he wanted everyone there to see what his worst fear was. It all seemed a bit personal.

Glancing around at the other students, he saw many of them appeared equally worried. Remus more so than anyone else. He snapped out of his self-centred concerns and considered why Remus might be so worried. Would his worst fear give a clue to his secret? Sirius resolved to watch closely when it was Remus' turn and turned his attention back to the professor.

'The best defence against a boggart is laughter. The spell I am about to teach you will turn your worst fear into something amusing to enable you to laugh at it. Now, everyone on your feet,' he said, and the students all did as they were told in a cacophony of scraping chairs. Professor Hawthorne then banished the desks and chairs to the side of the room, clearing the floor to allow them the space to spread out.

'Now I want everyone to think about their worst fear. Picture it in your mind,' Professor Hawthorne said. Sirius thought about it. His worst fear up until now was his mother. And her poisonous words and vicious magic. But now he wasn't so sure.

'Now, I want you all to think of a way to make that picture funny. When you have something, shout Riddikulus.'

One by one, the students all opened their eyes and shouted the incantation. When everyone had confirmed they were ready, Professor Hawthorne moved towards the trunk.

'Right, form a line. I want you all to step forward one by one and face the boggart. If you find yourself too afraid to fight, just move to the side to let the next person go. Okay?'

They all nodded and moved to form a line. Sirius, James, and Peter found themselves towards the middle. Sirius craned his neck to see and found Remus, predictably, right at the back.

'Are you ready?' Professor Hawthorne asked the student at the front of the line, a Ravenclaw girl that Sirius didn't recognise. They nodded, gripping their wand so hard their fingers were white, and stepped forward. Professor Hawthorne opened the trunk.

A giant ball of cotton wool floated out, and several students laughed. The Ravenclaw girl shuddered violently and looked like she was going to vomit. But she straightened her spine and flicked her wand.

'Riddikulus,' she shouted. The cotton wool ball burst into flames and shrivelled into a black husk. The Ravenclaw giggled and skipped to the side of the classroom out of the way.

The line continued. Most of the students fought the boggart successfully. Only a few found themselves unable to and chose the easy way out, escaping to the edge of the room. When it was James' turn he strode forwards, took a fighting stance with his legs shoulder-width apart, one foot slightly ahead of the other, brandished his wand, ran a hand through his hair and said, 'Bring it on.'

Sirius chuckled at his overconfidence.

The boggart sized him up and changed into a woman Sirius didn't recognise. She was tall and slim, dressed in smart robes and wearing glasses. She was the opposite of scary. Sirius frowned, confused.

'I'm sorry, Mister Potter. Both of your parents have died. You will have to come and live with me,' the boggart-woman said, holding out her hand.

James' confidence seemed to falter. His legs wobbled, and his wand arm dropped ever so slightly before he squared his shoulders and straightened his spine.

'Riddikulus!' he roared.

The boggart-woman jerked back and morphed into the man Sirius remembered from Platform 9 and 3/4, James' dad. He was bent over double, tears streaming down his face, laughing hysterically.

'You should have seen your face,' the Mr Potter-boggart said. 'You actually thought we were dead.'

James laughed loudly and marched over to the group of successful students. And it was Sirius' turn. He stepped forward nervously, and the boggart stopped laughing and looked at him before morphing into James.

'You disgust me, Black,' the James-boggart said, looking him up and down and sneering. 'You're just like the rest of your vile family. I can't believe I was ever friends with you.'

Merlin! It was so real. Sirius felt a jolt of pain in his chest. He knew it was a Boggart, but his heart didn't, and it looked just like James.

He raised a shaky hand, pointed his wand at the imposter and shouted, 'Riddikulus!'

The James-boggart grew a few inches taller, and its face melted into his mother's. Its hair turned lighter, longer, and formed into a bun on the back of its head. But she was still wearing the Hogwarts, Gryffindor uniform, and seeing his mother dressed that way made him bust up laughing.

'But... but... the polyjuice should have lasted longer than that,' the Walburga-boggart spluttered. Sirius turned away and joined James to watch the rest of the students.

'That's never going to happen, mate. You know that, right?' James said when he reached him.

Sirius nodded, but inside he wasn't so sure, and he wouldn't look James in the eye. Instead, he stared at the front of the class where Peter was facing a swarm of bats.

James nudged him. 'Sirius?'

Sirius ignored him.

'Fine. If you won't believe me, I'll just have to prove it to you. Maybe you'll admit I was right when we graduate and move into our own house together,' James said, crossing his arms in a huff at being ignored.

Sirius turned his head at that. 'Really? You want us to live together after school?'

'Of course,' James said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 'You and me, and Pete too if he wants to, and Remus if he ever speaks to you again. It'll be totally awesome.'

'What will be awesome?' Peter asked, joining them after turning his bats into Halloween decorations, his face a little paler than normal.

'Living together after we graduate,' James said. 'You in?'

Peter grinned and nodded. 'Sounds brilliant.'

'What about you Sirius?' James asked.

Sirius grinned. Learning that James envisaged them still being friends so far into what seemed a very distant future made him feel more secure. He was still worried that he would do something they couldn't forgive, and they would decide he was too much trouble, but it was an improvement. 'Hell yeah, I'm in!' he said.

The line of remaining students had diminished to two. Evans was up, and the boggart had become a young girl with a long face who was sneering at her and saying something Sirius couldn't hear. Lily attempted the spell, but nothing happened, and she ran from the boggart with her hands covering her eyes. James left to offer her comfort, Sirius assumed, and Remus moved forwards.

The boggart wavered for a moment and turned into a silvery orb, before flickering and becoming a female corpse on the floor. The bloodied woman looked like she had been torn apart by some kind of animal.

'That was weird,' Peter said. 'Why would anyone be afraid of a crystal ball?'

'Maybe the boggart is getting confused,' Sirius said. He was certain that wasn't it, though. The boggart hadn't become a crystal ball at all. Sirius knew exactly what it was. He had spent enough nights locked in his bedroom staring at the real thing because he was too hungry to sleep. Remus' boggart had become the full moon, and there was only one reason he could think of that anyone would be afraid of the full moon. Sirius' body went cold, and his mind flew back to the list he had written in his journal and the conclusion he had dismissed as ridiculous.

Remus was a werewolf. Fuck.

Sirius had learnt about werewolves in his tutoring sessions. They were feral beasts with no self-control. Rabid, and always on the hunt for humans to hurt. Nothing but mindless animals, with no humanity or intelligence.

He looked at Remus again. His small, slim body standing in an attack stance in front of a bloody corpse on the floor. The way he moved his wand through the air in a perfect arc. His smooth pronunciation of the incantation. The concentration in the creases at the corner of his eyes. The twitch of his cheeks as the corner of his mouth travelled up when he smiled at his success, while the class erupted in laughter as the bloodied corpse became a dancing puppet on strings.

There was nothing feral or mindless about Remus. He was top of the class, even on a bad day. He had more self-control in his little finger than Sirius possessed in his entire body. And he was more likely to curl up in front of the fire with a book than go out on the hunt for humans. Once again, he had to conclude that everything he'd been taught was wrong. Werewolves were just people. People with a horrible disease.

Sirius grinned to himself. He would definitely be able to prove Remus wrong if he was expecting to be rejected by Sirius for the mere crime of being a werewolf.

After lunch, Remus spent the afternoon in the library researching the runes from the hidden door. Even though he wasn't speaking to Sirius, or by extension, James or Peter, any more, he still felt an obligation to follow through on his promise. He made some progress but was still unsure of the meaning of the final rune when he realised it was time for Potions club, not that he wanted to go. He was, in fact, dreading spending the extra time in an enclosed space with ingredients and potion fumes, but he knew he needed the help. It was the only class he was worried about failing.

Remus packed up his things and headed down to the dungeons. The Potions club was being held a few rooms down from their usual Potions classroom, and he approached the door with trepidation. Peeking in, he saw a number of students of different ages dotted around the room and working on potions. Some were working alone, others in pairs or small groups. Professor Slughorn sat at the front of the room behind his desk, doing some form of paperwork. He glanced up periodically to check on the students, but otherwise didn't pay them too much attention.

'Remus! Hi! Come join us. We're making a cough potion,' a voice called from across the room.

Remus turned his head towards the sound and saw Lily, with a big smile on her face, waving at him from next to a scowling Snape. Remus swallowed hard. Lily didn't know what Snape had done to him, and he didn't want her to. As far as she knew, he had no reason not to join them, but he really didn't want to work with Snape.

Remus shuffled his way towards them anyway, weaving through the other students carefully.

'Hi, Lily,' he said. 'Snape.' Remus took a deep breath through his nose and detected the unmistakable stench of stinksap. He hadn't worked out where it was coming from yet then.

'Lupin,' Snape replied with a nod and a sneer.

'I'll just work on something next to you. I don't want to interfere with your work,' Remus said. It was obvious Snape did not want him there.

Snape smirked and turned back to his cauldron, and Remus set himself up at the next desk over, flicking through his potions book to decide what to make. His head was already swimming from the fumes in the enclosed space. He hoped spending more time in that environment would help him build up some kind of resistance.

Deciding to brew the cough potion too, Remus fetched himself some water and left it to come to the boil while he retrieved the ingredients he needed from the storage cabinet in the room. There were only three ingredients in the cough potion: lemongrass, honeywater and dragon's blood. It should be manageable, he thought.

Remus returned to his cauldron to find it bubbling. He tapped the extinguish rune, and the fire went out, causing the water inside to calm. After checking the instructions with difficulty through his blurred eyes, he measured out five drops of honeywater and added them to the cauldron before stirring three times clockwise and four anti-clockwise. He set his desk timer for five minutes and tapped the "low heat" rune to allow the mixture to simmer.

Remus rubbed his temples. A dull ache had sprouted up on either side of his eyes, and it was steadily getting worse. He glanced over at Lily and Snape; they were deep in conversation about something, but he noticed Lily seemed to be keeping her distance from Snape. Remus smirked to himself. James' idea had been truly brilliant. His smile dropped when he remembered they weren't speaking anymore.

Turning his attention back to the potion to take his mind off the situation with Sirius and the others, he checked the book again. He was supposed to add the lemongrass next, and it needed to be finely chopped. Remus recalled the mistake he'd made making the wormwood infusion. Finely chopped did not mean ground to dust, it still needed to be strainable.

He rubbed his eyes in an effort to clear them—the last thing he needed was to chop a finger off—and placed the lemongrass stalks on the chopping board. He sliced them into small pieces and, feeling proud of his efforts, added them to the cauldron when the timer went off. The potion bubbled and hissed. He didn't think that was supposed to happen.

Panicking, he grabbed the textbook and checked the instructions.

"After the brew has simmered for five minutes, apply cold-fire and add the finely chopped lemongrass, sprinkling around the edges."

Shit! He had just dumped it in the middle, and he hadn't even turned off the heat. Frantic, Remus grabbed his wand off the desk and tapped the cold fire rune, hoping to bring down the temperature before the mixture boiled over. It didn't work. With a loud bang, the potion exploded in his face.

'Arghh!' he screamed. He couldn't see. The mixture had coated his face and eyes, and it was sticking to his skin like treacle, and he could hear Lily and Snape making similar cries of pain next to him.

Remus took a deep breath to calm himself. His heart was racing, and his face and arms were burning, but he was used to pain, and he needed to think rationally. Being blind made him vulnerable. He needed to be able to see, so he could prevent anyone from touching him. Using the bottom of his robes, he wiped the cooling goop off his face so he could open his eyes. His skin was still burning, but now he could see.

He glanced to his right and saw Lily wiping potion off of her arm and the side of her face. Angry red marks marred her pale skin where the potion had been, and she was wincing. Snape was less badly affected but also had red splotches on his left arm and the left side of his face. He was glaring at Remus.

Slughorn rushed towards them.

'Hospital wing, all three of you. Don't worry, I'll clean up here, and I'll have a house-elf bring you your things.'

Remus nodded and rushed from the room. He wasn't worried about his things; he was terrified his skin would heal before he got behind the privacy of a hospital bed curtain. With his heart racing, he ran full tilt up several flights of stairs and down multiple corridors, not stopping until he reached the hospital wing and burst through the doors.

'Remus!' Madam Pomfrey said, jumping ever so slightly at his entrance. 'Whatever is the matter?'

'Potions accident,' he said, bent over double and panting for breath. 'You need... to hide me... before I heal... others coming.'

Madam Pomfrey jumped to work without a moment's hesitation. 'Right, get on this bed. I'll be back in a second,' she said, indicating the bed closest to him.

Remus did as she told him and, as promised, Madam Pomfrey returned seconds later holding a pot of bright orange healing paste.

'The burns are already healed. You'll have to tell me where to put this,' she said.

'The potion covered my whole face, arms and chest, but I don't know if it burnt me through my clothes. It hurt, though.'

'Yes, it would have. We'll just get your face done for now though, before the others get here. We can draw the curtains after that,' Madam Pomfrey said. She conjured gloves onto her hands and smoothed the thick, orange paste over his face, making sure to cover every inch of skin. And not a moment too soon. She drew back just as Lily and Snape entered the room.

'Oh, Remus, are you okay?' Lily asked when she saw him sitting on the bed. 'You ran out so fast, you must have been in awful pain.'

'I'm alright now. What about you? I'm so sorry you got hurt,' Remus said, feeling guilty that she was worried about him when he had only taken minutes to heal and she was still injured.

'I only have a few little burns, and Severus even less. You were coated in it though,' she said.

'Come along, I need to finish treating Mister Lupin, and he needs some privacy,' Madam Pomfrey said, leading Lily and Snape to two beds on the other side of the room. She returned to Remus and drew the curtains around him before casting a silencing charm.

'I don't think it's necessary to apply the paste to the rest of the affected area, but I'll have to stay here for a few minutes, so they think I'm doing it,' she said.

Remus looked up at her. She was chewing her lip and looked anxious. 'I feel bad keeping you here. They actually need treatment,' Remus said. 'Can't you tell them I'm applying the paste myself? Lily knows I don't like to be touched, so she'd believe it.

Madam Pomfrey looked relieved by the suggestion. 'Yes, that's a good idea,' she said.

She slid out between the curtains without opening them.

'Mister Lupin insists he can apply his own paste,' Madam Pomfrey said. 'So I'll take a look at you now. What's your name, dear?'

'Lily Evans.'

Remus lay back on the bed and breathed a sigh of relief. That disaster had been averted, but he needed to be much more careful in the future.