Sunday, 17th June 1973
As he climbed the stairs back up to his bedroom after breakfast, Sirius wondered if staying up all night to read the occlumency book—on top of getting so little sleep the night before—had been such a good idea. He'd only made it about halfway through, and he was exhausted, which wouldn't help him protect his mind from his father's invasion. On the plus side, it turned out that occlumency was very similar to the meditation technique Remus had taught him, and the defences he'd already built in his mind were quite strong so, despite the exhaustion, he was feeling a decent amount of confidence that he might actually be able to pull this off and protect Remus' secret.
When he reached his bedroom, he checked his notebook first. After the meeting with his father the previous evening, he'd had a long conversation with Regulus—in his newly decorated bedroom, which Sirius was not a fan of—that consisted of a lot of ranting, more than a few tears, and ended with a hug. So, Sirius hadn't had time to make a visit to Remus to remedy the lack of a goodbye kiss situation, but they had been writing to each other a lot.
It wasn't quite eight o'clock, though, and Remus had stayed up late the night before, so Sirius wasn't surprised to find there were no new messages from him. Grabbing a quill from his desk, he wrote a quick message to him, and a second one on the whole group page, before hiding the book back under his mattress and heading for the passage to the training room that he was certain had not existed before yesterday. The entrance was through an archway that appeared in his bedroom wall beside the door to his bathroom whenever he walked up to it. There was no password or anything. He just walked up to the wall, and it appeared. And he couldn't believe that he'd lived in that room for thirteen years and never found it, so it must be new. Or maybe it was keyed to not open until he turned thirteen. Regardless of what the actual reason was, it definitely wasn't through any deficiency on his part.
His Father was waiting for him when he reached the other end of the passage, leaning against the wall and twiddling his wand between his fingers absently, looking thoroughly relaxed, but he raised his head at the sound of Sirius' approach and checked his watch. 'One minute late. It's truly remarkable how you manage to push boundaries in everything you do.'
Sirius smiled. 'It's a skill.'
'One you excel at,' Orion said, smiling back as he pushed himself away from the wall and walked towards him. 'Let's hope you prove equally proficient at occlumency. Did you read the first chapter?'
'I read the first fourteen,' Sirius replied. 'And I believe you may have your work cut out for you.'
Orion's smile grew into a grin and he chuckled, drawing his wand. 'What do you have to hide that would motivate you to go to such efforts, I wonder?'
'Why don't you try to find out?' Sirius waggled his eyebrows as he drew his own wand. 'If you think you can.'
Instead of replying, Orion pointed his wand at him with a smirk and whispered, 'Legilimens.'
In a similar way to the spell they'd created for controlling Moony, Sirius felt himself separate into two beings, his external self still stood in the training room while internally, he became aware of his subconscious self running down Hogwarts' Grand Staircase as a warning bell rang through the building. When he reached the Entrance Hall, he exited through the double doors and continued running across the grounds until he reached the gates, finding Orion standing on the other side of them.
'Hogwarts?' he asked with a raised eyebrow.
Sirius shrugged. 'It's the place I feel safest.'
'You built all this last night?'
'I know Hogwarts well,' Sirius said non-committally.
'Well, let's see how right you are about that,' Orion said, pointing his wand at the gates. 'Alohomora.' There was a click and, to Sirius' dismay, the gates swung open. 'Hmm, I doubt Hogwarts' gates would open so easily.'
'I didn't say it was an exact replica,' Sirius said, drawing his wand as his father walked onto the grounds. 'Depulso.'
'Protego.'
His Banishing charm bounced off his father's shield harmlessly, but Sirius hadn't expected it to be that easy to stop him. He fired a couple of Stunning charms to keep him from lowering the shield, followed by a Knockback jinx, hoping his father was out of practice enough that he wouldn't notice the jinx among the charms.
It worked, and the spell was strong enough to force him back a couple of steps, but he stayed on his feet, tilting his head. 'Nicely done.'
'Thank you,' Sirius said, grinning. Apparently, duelling was just as fun inside his head as it was in real life. 'Brachiabindo.'
Unfortunately, his father was no longer off guard, and he deflected the jinx with a flick of his wand, countering with a series of incantations Sirius had never heard before. He tried to dodge them, but one caught him in the side of the leg, and a moment later he was hanging in the air by his hair as if someone had gripped it in their hand and lifted him off his feet.
The surprise of it stunned him for long enough that his father was able to pluck his wand from his grasp and pocket it, smirking at him the whole time. 'Now that's over. Let's have a look around, shall we?' Then, with a wave of Orions' wand, Sirius fell to the floor, managing to stay on his feet, but only just.
'Dammit,' he muttered, straightening up to see his father already striding up the path to the castle and jogging to catch up with him. Where would he go first? There were so many memories that involved Remus' lycanthropy, and when he'd no longer been able to focus on reading, he'd spent several hours of the night moving as many as he could to the Whomping Willow, but he knew he hadn't got them all.
Orion didn't speak again until they reached the Entrance Hall. 'Let's see,' he said, looking around. 'Your dormitory is probably a good place to start, I should think. Gryffindor Tower's on the seventh floor, I believe?'
He didn't wait for a response before crossing the floor and beginning the climb. Sirius wasn't about to help him by transporting them there, although he knew he could if he wanted to, so he trailed after him, attempting to come up with a way to get his wand back, but nothing came to mind. And how else could he force his father out of his head? He hadn't made it that far in the book, so he didn't know, but he knew he didn't want him poking around in his mental dormitory. That was where he kept all of his best memories, and so many of them revolved around Remus.
By the time they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady—Orion seemed to know exactly where he was going—Sirius still didn't have a real plan, but they were inside his mindscape so he could affect things there, even without his wand. With nothing but a thought, he erased the portrait guarding the entrance to Gryffindor Tower and then, to make doubly sure, he bricked up the hole behind it, too.
'Took you long enough,' Orion said. 'Unfortunately for you, that's not going to work.' With nothing but the touch of his hand, Orion forced the portrait to open and disintegrated the new wall blocking the way, making it crumble into dust at his feet. 'Legilimency is powerful magic, Sirius. You're going to have to do better than that.'
In response, Sirius removed the floor of the common room just as his father stepped onto it, sending him plummeting down to the sixth floor, tables and chairs crashing to the ground around him.
'How was that?' Sirius called, bending through the doorway and craning his neck to watch Orion climbing back to his feet. Right behind him was a solid black door with no handle, and Sirius swallowed. He'd forgotten about the Den. He definitely didn't want his father going in there. 'I'll wait here for you to come back up, shall I?'
'No need,' Orion called back, and with a wave of his wand, he conjured a bloody broomstick. For fuck's sake. Knowing it would take far too long to rebuild the floor stone by stone, Sirius attempted to block it with a single giant slab of rock, but his father was quicker, swooping up and landing perfectly on the bottom step of the girls' dormitory staircase.
'Up here is it?' Orion asked and, painting his face with his best annoyed-but-resigned expression, Sirius nodded. Orion chuckled in response. 'So it's the other one, then?' Mounting the broom again, he flew to the boys' staircase and started climbing.
With a blink of his eyes, Sirius turned the staircase into a slide and bit his lip to keep from laughing as his Father rolled back down, landing in a heap at the bottom of the stairs. When he looked up, Sirius shrugged. 'Told you it was the other one.'
Climbing back to his feet, Orion surveyed him, his eyebrows knitted together in thought. 'I still think you're lying,' he said, but he made his way back to the girls' staircase and started to climb. Sirius hadn't included the castle's defences when he built the girls' dormitories, so nothing happened as his father moved up the spiral stairs and Sirius waited where he was, watching the corner where Orion had moved out of sight.
For several seconds, all was silent and still, but then Sirius heard the sound of a door opening and slamming closed again, followed by heavy footsteps, descending quickly. Orion appeared at the corner Sirius was watching and continued down to the common room, mounting his broom before he stepped off to keep Sirius from sending him plunging to the sixth floor again.
'I knew you were lying,' he said, smirking at Sirius.
Sirius grinned back at him. 'You've been in my head for ages, and you haven't seen anything yet. I think I'm doing quite well for my first try.'
'Indeed. I'm proud of you. Grandfather Arcturus learned most of my secrets within minutes of beginning my first Occlumency lesson. Not that I had many secrets, mind you. I only managed to hide one thing from him, and he never did discover it.'
Hope sparked in Sirius' chest. Keeping something hidden was possible. 'And what was that?'
'If you've figured out the password on the parchment I gave you, then you already know.'
'I haven't.'
'Keep trying. I'm sure you'll get there. Now, let's take a look at your dorm, shall we?' Orion shot him an evil-looking grin and flew straight up the boys' staircase, leaving Sirius to jog after him. By the time he caught up, Orion had opened the door to the room he shared with the other Marauders and was hovering in the opening, gazing around. Apparently, he wasn't about to risk landing when Sirius knew how to remove floors. Dammit.
'Four beds,' Orion said. 'You only share with one person in Slytherin.' He tapped his finger on the plaque next to the door that listed the room's occupants. 'Do you get along with these boys? Peter and Remus, I mean? I know you're friends with James.'
Before Sirius could decide how to answer the question, his mind answered for him, projecting a memory onto the room in front of them—all four of them crowded onto Remus' bed, plotting something. Sirius thought it might have been one of their planning sessions for the competition with the girls. He stared, wide-eyed, as his memory-self planted a kiss on Remus' cheek, making his skin take on a pink tint.
Orion chuckled. 'That would be a yes, then.'
'Yeah, we're all pretty close,' Sirius said since there was no longer any point in denying it.
'Particularly with the skinny boy, by the looks of it.'
Sirius shrugged, trying to look nonchalant, but his mind didn't seem inclined to cooperate with him, changing the memory to a different one. This time it was just him and Remus in the room, lying next to each other on Remus' bed, and—oh gods—they were kissing. Orion turned to him with raised eyebrows.
'Closer than I thought.'
Sirius wrinkled his nose, burning with embarrassment. 'Just a bit.'
'He's not a pureblood, is he?'
'No,' Sirius admitted as the image changed again. He recognised the scene instantly. The ghost of memory-Remus passed through them in the doorway, walking into the room with a determined expression on his face. 'I'm calling a Marauder meeting,' he announced once the door was closed.
'Are we getting revenge on Tenebris after all?' James asked, grinning. 'Because I had an idea—'
'No,' Remus said, interrupting him. 'I have something to tell you.'
'No!' Sirius yelled, and with a force of will he didn't know he possessed, he shoved hard at the feeling of his father's invasion and pushed him right out of his head, taking himself out of his mindscape in the process and back into the training room. His father cocked his head with interest.
'What was he about to tell you?'
'Nothing,' Sirius spat. 'It's none of your business.'
'It must be important,' Orion commented, 'for you to react with so much passion.'
Sirius glared at him. 'I said it's none of your business.'
'And yet, I get the distinct impression that it is my business. You're in a relationship with this boy?'
Sirius said nothing, continuing to glare at his father, chin up and back straight.
'You know it can't last,' Orion said. 'Regardless of your preferences, as heir to the House of Black, you must marry a woman and have children.'
'You don't need to remind me,' Sirius answered. 'I know what's expected of me.'
'Does he?'
'Of course. He knows I'm the heir.'
'But does he understand what that means? Does he know he will always have to be a secret if your relationship continues?'
Sirius hesitated. 'I… don't know.'
'And even if he does accept that, are you prepared to do that to him?'
'What do you mean?'
Orion sighed. 'Sirius. Think about it. You'd be keeping him from ever having a real life of his own. He'd have to cope with the knowledge that you're living with your wife and children, a proper family, while he remains alone, waiting for you to have time to see him. You'd never be able to give him anything real.'
Ducking his head, Sirius blinked at his feet. He'd never thought about it like that. Of course, he knew he was expected to marry and produce heirs, but that seemed such a long way off. There were literal years before he had to think about it.
As if reading his mind, Orion cleared his throat. 'I know it's a long time in the future, but is it fair to let him get attached to you? Maybe it doesn't matter. Childhood romances rarely last, and it might be better to let you both get it out of your systems, but it might not. Yours might be the one in a hundred that does make it all the way until you graduate, and if it is, you're only setting him up for heartbreak.'
He was right. Sirius didn't think there was anything that could make him stop wanting Remus, and he knew Remus felt the same. Was it cruel to keep letting him think they could actually be something in the future?
'May I be excused, Father? I have a lot to think about.'
With a sympathetic look in his eyes, Orion inclined his head. 'Of course. I'll see you at dinner tonight. You did well this morning, Sirius. I was very impressed.'
'Thank you.' Sirius nodded to him before turning to the wall where the opening would appear to take him back to his room, keeping his face an expressionless mask so his father wouldn't see the pain he was feeling. Staying with Remus was selfish, but Sirius didn't know if he had the strength to break up with him.
Moony &Twinkles
June 17th 7:58 am
Morning Moony, I won't be around much this morning because I'm doing heir-related training. Hope you slept well and aren't feeling too sore. I'll come and see you as soon as I can get away. Miss you xxx.
9:02 am
Morning Twinkles, sorry I missed you. The word "training" is kind of ominous. What sort of things are involved? I did sleep well, thanks, and I'm not too sore at all. The t-shirt you gave me is helping. But I hope you weren't attached to it. Mum wanted to know where it came from, and I told her it was a birthday present, so I'm not sure I'll be able to give it back now. Can't wait to see you, and I miss you too xxx.
11:20 am
Keep the t-shirt, Moonbeam. It's yours. The training is nothing scary, just learning the ins and outs of running the House of Black. It's more boring than anything else. I don't think I'm going to be able to get away to see you today, but hopefully soon. I'm working on it. Maybe at Bubbles' house sometime in the next couple of days?
Twinkles, Moony, Bubbles & Sunshine
June 17th 7:59 am
Morning Marauders, can't believe none of you lazy bastards are awake yet. I've got to meet my father for "training" this morning so don't panic when I don't reply for hours. I'm fine, and if I'm not, I'm sure Bubbles will let you know.
Don't lump me in with Moony and Sunshine. I've been awake for two hours, thank you very much. And yes, I will let you know if Twinkles isn't okay. Although, I have no idea what we'd do about it. I don't fancy breaking into the Black Fortress of Horror.
9:03 am
Good morning. I'm not lazy. I was tired after not getting any sleep the night before and using a lot of energy, and I hope you feel suitably guilty now. Apologies are accepted in the form of chocolate or kisses.
Bubbles, I'm sure if it becomes necessary to break into the Black Fortress of Horror, we would find a way. We have many tools at our disposal.
I'll be spending the day with mum because she has to go to work tomorrow. Yes, apparently she got a job while I was at school. She's working as a secretary for… I don't remember, but it's good money. Better than what Lyall was earning, and we have one less person to feed with it. I might actually be able to buy you Christmas presents this year instead of making them.
Hey Moony. That's great news about your mum getting a job. I'm not sure I want a bought present from you though. The things you make are so cool. Anything you bought from a shop would be disappointing compared with the things you've made.
Are you going to be lonely at home by yourself every day? You can come over if you don't mind constant interruptions while I do things for mum. I'm not as busy as I was last summer thanks to Effie and Monty deciding to do everything for me before I got home and I'm kind of bored.
That sounds great, Bubbles. Thanks. I'll probably take you up on that offer at some point. Maybe not tomorrow, though. I'm kind of looking forward to being alone for a bit. I'm sure Sunshine will be up for helping you with the boredom problem, though.
Whenever you want, Moons. Got to go now. Bella just arrived.
Saturday 16th June
Marls,
Good news. Mum agreed to you coming to stay for a week. Any time is good for us, so when would be best for you?
I hope your holiday is going well so far. I haven't done much yet, but I've unpacked and put all my things away where they belong, so I'm ready to relax and enjoy the summer. I'm going to work with mum today to visit some of the regular patients. I told you she's a doctor, didn't I? (That's a muggle Healer, in case you didn't know). They don't get many visitors, so I think I should go and see them while I'm home.
Well, I can't think of anything else to say, so bye for now.
Cas.
After eating a late breakfast and washing her dishes, Dorcas ran back up to her bedroom to grab the letter she'd written to Marlene the night before, shoving it into her pocket before heading to the fireplace in the front room. Her mum said that getting them connected to the Floo Network when there were no adult wixen living in the property had been a complete nightmare. They'd denied the request the first fifteen times she'd applied, but eventually, she'd gone into the Floo Network's office to complain in person, taking a toddler Dorcas with her, and Docas had displayed such powerful accidental magic—actually setting fire to the manager's desk when he'd upset her mum—that they'd relented. And Dorcas was grateful for her mum's perseverance. The Floo gave her so much more freedom of movement than she would have without it, even if she did hate the sensations involved.
Grabbing a pinch of Floo powder from the dish on the mantelpiece, she threw it into the empty grate and stepped into the green flames when they sprang to life. 'Diagon Alley.'
She emerged in the Leaky Cauldron and nodded to the barmaid before moving purposefully to the back door and out into the beer garden, pulling out her wand to tap the brick that would open the entrance as she went. The street was crowded and noisy, and she kept her eyes on the portion of ground directly in front of her feet as she walked towards the post office, partly to avoid making eye contact with anyone and partly to ensure she didn't trip on anything or step in something unpleasant. She didn't understand how people could walk around staring straight ahead. How did they avoid obstacles?
The noise of so many people all talking at once was overwhelming, but stepping into the post office wasn't much better. It wasn't quite as bad as the owlery at school, but it was close. So many birds were bound to make a racket, and she didn't blame them for it, but she was glad there wasn't a queue, so she was able to get out of there quickly. She really needed to speak to her mum about getting her own owl now that she had people that she wanted to write to regularly. It wouldn't have been fair to the bird before, having so little work, but things were different now.
With that task complete, Dorcas hurried back to the Leaky Cauldron, once again keeping her face tilted down to the floor, and grabbed some floo powder from the dish provided for the public to use, chucking it into the fire and muttering the address of her mum's clinic as she stepped into the flames.
Once the awful whooshing was over, Dorcas emerged into the reception area of Moonlit Meadowes Clinic for the disenfranchised of the magical world and waved to the receptionist, Fen—a wixen of undisclosed gender with a goblin somewhere in their ancestry—who was sitting behind the desk talking with a man who was cradling his arm to his chest. Fen acknowledged Dorcas with a smile and a nod of their head but didn't break the conversation to greet her, which was fine. Dorcas was there to visit the werewolves. She could catch up with Fen another time.
It didn't take her long to reach the full moon ward, and she poked her head around the door with a smile firmly in place. It didn't help the werewolves feel better if she looked distressed by their injuries. Most of the beds were already empty, their occupants having healed and returned home, but three were occupied, two of them with their curtains drawn. Stanley, though, was sitting up in his, thick bandages covering his left arm, and a bright grin broke across his face when he noticed her.
'Dorcas! Hello, chicken. Your mum said you were coming home last night. I didn't think you'd be in today, though. It's the first day of the holidays.'
Smiling back at him, Dorcas approached the bed and took a seat in the chair beside it. 'Well, I missed you, didn't I? Couldn't let a whole month go by without saying hi. How're you doing?'
'Can't complain,' Stanley said cheerfully. 'Well, I could. Damn wolf almost chewed my arm right off this month, but your mum sorted me out. Bloody queen, that woman is. Deserves a medal.'
Stanley had been bitten three years earlier, not long after he graduated from Hogwarts, and he was their youngest werewolf patient. All of his friends had deserted him after he was infected, and his apprenticeship dropped him immediately. With no income left, he'd been forced to move back in with his parents and he spent the full moons in their cellar. At first, it had been okay, but his injuries had been getting progressively worse every month. Not that Stanley let any of that get him down. He was one of the most cheerful people Dorcas had ever met, though she privately wondered if it was all a mask to protect himself from further pain. It can't have been easy to lose so much in one night.
'That she does,' Dorcas agreed because it was true. Her mum had worked so hard to set up the clinic and build its reputation amongst the various outcast groups of the magical world as a welcoming and non-judgmental place where they could go to find sanctuary and support when they needed it—not to mention top-notch healthcare with a mixture of muggle and magical provisions. The clinic employed several magical healers, but Dorcas' mum was the only one trained in muggle medicine, and since werewolf injuries couldn't be healed magically, she always worked the day following a full moon.
'Anyway,' Stanley said. 'Enough about that. Tell me your news. Was your second year at Hogwarts as good as your first?'
'Possibly even better,' Dorcas told him, smiling. 'I made some new friends. I think you'd like them.'
'Tell me all about them. What are their names?'
So Dorcas settled back in her chair and told him all about James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, their competition and the friendship that had formed from it, enjoying the way he laughed when she described the things they'd done to each other. He needed more happiness in his life, especially since she feared he wouldn't be alive for much longer. His wolf was an angry one. She wished she knew why it was so much more aggressive than the others so she could help, but all she could do was give him some happy memories to keep him going through the brutality of his condition.
Sunday 17th June
Hi Cas,
I'm glad your mum said yes. I know you thought she'd be reluctant, so I'm pleased she decided to give me a chance. I promise I'll be respectful. You have nothing to worry about. I really do want to learn.
I have to be home for the Litha celebrations next week and it's my mum's birthday the week after, but I can come the week after that, Monday the 2nd of July? Speaking of which, did you see the Daily Prophet this morning? Professor Tenebris has been arrested for killing Professor Hawthorne, or rather, she handed herself in. Can you believe it? I'm in shock, honestly. The paper is saying she's a vampire. Did you know? I feel like if you had noticed, you wouldn't have said anything. That's why I'm asking.
They're going to execute her. Obviously. I'm not sure how I feel about that. She was a good teacher, and she was always really nice to us, but then, so was Professor Hawthorne, and she killed him. She's admitted it. It's a bit creepy, too, don't you think? She killed him and then did his job for a year. Why would she do that? It makes me shiver to think about being in that classroom with a murderer all year.
At least Emhio will be back where she belongs next year. We should throw her a welcome home party or something. It'll probably be too cold for swimming in September, but we could have it on the bank like we did for the bonfire. Do you think she'd like that? It can't have been very nice being locked up for so long, thinking she was going to die. She must be so relieved.
Anyway, let me know about the 2nd of July. Mum wants to know when I'll be away so she can plan around it.
Love and hugs (if you want them)
Marls.
James slept in late on the first proper day of the holidays, not opening his eyes until the sun was already high in the sky, blazing in the middle of a bright blue pool which was marred only by wisps of clouds that were so insubstantial, they resembled smoke. It took him a few seconds to remember why his stomach felt like it was full of rocks, but when he did, he screwed his eyes closed again, wishing the pain would disappear. She was going to die and there was nothing they could do about it. They might be excessively adept at sneaking, but even the Marauders didn't have the skill to break a prisoner out of the Ministry holding cells.
Feeling worse than he had when Sirius was comatose in the Hospital Wing, it took him several minutes to find the motivation to leave his bed and head downstairs in search of food. His mum must have heard him moving about, or maybe she'd set an alarm on his door, because she was waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs when he reached the top.
'Morning, sweetheart,' she greeted, and then, once he'd descended, she pulled him into a hug and murmured into his hair, 'How are you feeling?'
James shrugged as he pulled away, looking up at her. 'Pretty rubbish.'
She nodded. 'Let's get some food in you, and then we're taking a trip to St Mungo's.'
'What? Why? Are you sick?'
'No, you are,' she said, before tapping his head, 'In here. I'm making you an appointment to see a mind-healer. You need to talk to someone about what happened.'
'Can't I just talk to you and dad?'
She shook her head. 'Dad and I don't have the training to help you with something this big, sweetheart. You can talk to us, of course, but you need someone impartial that you won't need to worry about upsetting.'
'Alright,' James said, following her as she led him through to the dining room. 'But can you make sure they don't… you know… have any prejudices? I don't want to speak to someone who thinks vampires and werewolves are monsters.'
'I was already going to,' she said, smiling down at him as they entered the dining room. The table was laid for one, with a selection of cereals and fruits arranged in the middle so he could take his pick, and James took his seat before reaching for the cornflakes. Muggles made the best breakfast foods, in his opinion. You couldn't find anything like cornflakes in a wizarding grocery store. His dad had to take special trips into muggle London to fetch them for him, and they were best eaten with warm milk, so after dousing them with the white liquid, he drew his wand and cast a simple warming charm on the bowl to heat it up. Delicious.
After breakfast, he ran upstairs to get dressed and checked his notebook for messages, scribbling out a reply, before hurrying back down to meet his mum by the Floo. 'Ready.'
Twinkles, Moony, Bubbles & Sunshine
June 17th 11:10 am
Morning. I think you have a bit of a cheek calling us lazy, Twinkles. We all know you wouldn't have been awake so early if you didn't have to be.
Mum's taking me to the hospital this morning. She thinks I need to speak to a mind-healer about everything that happened. I'll let you know when I get home, and we can make plans to break into the Black Fortress of Horror if necessary. I agree with Moony, we can definitely figure something out, but hopefully, we won't need to. Twinkles has his ring and his mother thinks he's being a good boy now.
I'm absolutely up for helping you find something to do to stop the boredom, Bubbles. I could use some distractions myself.
Less than a minute later, James was following his mum through the halls of St Mungo's as she led him to the lifts and up to the fourth floor, past the Janus Thickey ward for permanent spell damage—James shuddered at the thought of ending up there if Project Gateway went wrong—and through a set of double doors below a sign for Mental Maladies and Afflictions. They walked up to the desk and James looked around, tuning his mum out as she made the appointment for him.
The waiting room was small and bland, containing about thirty of the worst kind of chairs, lined up in rows and all facing the same direction—a door that he assumed led through to the examination rooms. The number of chairs seemed to be overly optimistic (or should that be pessimistic?) as only two of them were filled, their occupants sitting as far apart as the set-up allowed, one right at the back on the right, and the other right at the front on the left. Why did people always do that in public spaces? And where would his mum and he sit if they had to wait? Right in the middle? Unfortunately, he didn't get a chance to find out, as his mum called him out of his mind-ramblings to fill out a form. The questions were straightforward—For what reason do you require a mind-healer? What potions do you regularly take? Do you have a history of violence?—and it only took him a few minutes before he handed it back and they were on their way back out with an appointment the following day.
'I'm going to make a visit it to the Pettigrew's this afternoon,' his mum said when they reached the floo station back on the ground floor. 'Did you want to come, or would you rather go home?'
'Are you kidding? Of course, I want to come.'
She chuckled. 'I thought you would. Go on then. You know the address.'
With a whoosh and a nauseating few seconds of spinning, James emerged from the fireplace in Peter's living room and his friend appeared in the kitchen doorway, his face painted with surprise. 'James. Hi. What are you doing here?'
Before he could answer, the fireplace lit back up with green flames and James quickly sidestepped out of the way so his mum could climb out.
Peter was in the kitchen preparing lunch for his mum—he'd already eaten his own—when he heard the distinctive whoosh of the Floo firing up, causing a spike of anxiety to flare in his chest. He wasn't expecting anyone. Hurrying to the door, he peered into the room and felt his eyes widen with surprise when he spotted James climbing out of the fireplace. Unlike the last time James had turned up in his living room with no warning, nothing alarming had happened that morning, so what was he doing there?
'James. Hi. What are you doing here?'
James opened his mouth to reply when the fireplace behind him blazed to life again, the flames bright green and reaching up into the chimney, and James stepped to the side. The newly unobstructed view allowed Peter to see Effie step out of the fire, dusting herself off and smiling widely at him.
'Hello, Peter dear. How's your mum today?'
Still confused, Peter answered the question automatically. 'She's alright. I'm expecting her to wake up soon. I was just making her some lunch.'
'Wonderful, I'll do that, then. Why don't you boys go play?'
Is that why she was there? Was she planning on continuing to do his work for him when he was home? That wasn't right. She had her own family to take care of, and James was home from school, too. What if he got upset that his mum was looking after Peter instead of him? 'Oh. No. It's okay, Effie. You don't need to help when I'm home. I can manage.'
'Nonsense,' Effie said, ruffling his hair as she passed him on her way into the kitchen. 'Of course you can manage. You've been doing a superb job of managing. But you shouldn't have to manage. Quite frankly, it's criminal that you've been left to deal with all of this by yourself. You're twelve years old and I'm sure you have very important mischief to be getting into. Leave the housework to me, yes? I can do it so much quicker with magic, anyway.'
'There's no point arguing with her,' James said in a mock whisper as Effie washed her hands at the sink. 'She loves helping people more than she loves me, and she loves me a lot.'
Effie picked up the tea towel to dry her hands, but used it first to whip James in the arm while he tried and failed to leap out of the way. 'Oh, get away with you. I don't love anything more than you, and you know it. Now take your friend and make sure he has some fun.'
James laughed. 'Yes, ma'am. One afternoon of spectacular fun coming right up. Come on, Pete. Where's your room?'
'Are you sure this is okay?' Peter asked as he led James through the house and up to his room. 'I don't want you to feel like I'm stealing your mum from you.'
'Don't be silly. Marauders share everything, remember? Doesn't matter if it's detention, credit for an epic idea, or parents.' James shrugged. 'Your mum can't do the things she's supposed to, and Sirius' mum won't, so you can both borrow mine. I don't mind at all. Is this your room?' James stood in the doorway to Peter's bedroom and gazed around, his eyes landed on the bookcase which housed all of his books on potions, the desk where he kept his notes and paperwork, and the bed which was still unmade from the night before, seeming to note the lack of personalisation—Peter didn't have money to spare for useless trinkets and most of the things he did own were still packed in his trunk—Finished with his appraisal, James nodded. 'Exactly what I expected.'
'What?' Peter asked, wondering what on earth James could mean by that comment.
'Tidy, clean, potion stuff,' James shrugged and waved his hand at the space. 'It's you in room form. Where's your notebook? We should see if Remus and Sirius can get over too.'
'On my desk,' Peter said, walking over to it and flicking it open to the group page and scanning it quickly. 'Sirius is back from his training, says he might be able to get away for a few hours. I'll tell him you're here.' He grabbed a quill and scribbled out a message as James peered over his shoulder.
Twinkles, Moony, Bubbles & Sunshine
June 17th 11:15 am
Hi, training's over for today. It wasn't too bad. Father said I did well. There's been very little Horror happening in the Black Fortress so far, but I'll keep you updated (loving the name, by the way). And I take back my accusations of laziness for Moony and Bubbles, but not for Sunshine. Almost midday, really? Shocking behaviour. Think of all the mischief you missed out on making while you were asleep.
Bubbles, am I also invited to the boredom relieving party? I think I can probably manage to get away for an hour or two sometime in the next few days. Let me know when you're all there and I'll make my excuses.
Twinkles, Moony, Bubbles & Sunshine
June 17th 12:30 pm
Well, Sunshine just turned up at mine. No warning at all. Just stepped out of the Floo.
It's not my fault! Mum said she was visiting and asked if I wanted to come. I assumed Bubbles knew about it.
I did not know about it, but it's fine. I'm not complaining. Effie has run me out of the kitchen and told us to "go play."
I'm not sure what she expects us to do in a muggle town. Are either of you able to join us?
Sorry, I can't go out today. Mum wants to spend time with me while she can. Weekends are out for me.
No worries, Moons. I guess Twinkles is away from his notebook, so looks like it's just us, Bubbles. Entertain me.
I don't know why you wrote that in the book. I'm literally standing right next to you. — I said this out loud to James, by the way, and he made me write it down.
So Moony would know what was going on, obviously.
I don't need a running commentary. Go have fun. Find something interesting to show us when Twinkles and I can get there, too.
Sunshine and Bubbles are up to the challenge. We won't let you down, Moony.
I'm not sure there is anything interesting around here, but we'll do our best.
'Bit pessimistic of you,' James said when he saw what Peter had written. 'I'm sure we can find something.'
Shrugging, Peter closed the notebook and put his quill back in the holder before turning around to face James. 'It's a muggle town, not a magical castle. The chances of us finding anything interesting are pretty low, and honestly, I don't really feel like trying.'
James' shoulders slumped, and he grimaced. 'Yeah, I know what you mean. Have you seen the Daily Prophet this morning? I think Mum hid our copy.'
'Yeah,' Peter said. 'The… you know. It's in two weeks. The second of July.'
'That's so soon.'
'It's open to the public, too,' Peter said, looking at the floor so he didn't have to see his own pain mirrored in James' face. 'There'll be loads of people there, all happy to see a vampire getting what they deserve. I was thinking about going. So she can see at least one friendly face in the crowd, you know?'
'Would you really want to see that, though? How do they even do it?'
'I don't know. I've been trying not to think about it, but whatever it is, I can just close my eyes at the last moment so I don't see it. But I think, if it was me, I'd want to see someone in the crowd who was there for me, not there to see me die, you know?'
'Yeah, me too,' James said, so quietly Peter could barely hear him. A little louder, he added, 'I don't know if my parents will let me go, though.'
'I doubt Remus' mum will let him either,' Peter said. 'And Sirius probably wouldn't want to, even if he could. He's still really angry with her.'
'You can't blame him,' James pointed out. 'Regulus is his brother, and she fed on him, too.'
'Yeah, I know, but that's why it's got to be me that goes, even if I really don't want to see it. She deserves to have one of us there after everything she did for Remus… For all of us, really.'
'You're right,' James said, frowning. 'I don't like the idea of you going on your own, though. Let me talk to my dad about it?'
'Yeah, alright,' Peter said. Then, in an effort to change the subject to something happier, 'Are we going out then? There's not much to see, but I guess I can show you around.'
As it turned out, Peter's idea of "interesting" and James' were two entirely different things. He was fascinated by everything he saw. Either that, or he was overcompensating for the sadness that hung over them both like a shroud, but Peter didn't think he was that good an actor. His interest seemed far too genuine.
They stopped by the corner shop two streets over from Peter's house. He never bought anything from there normally—and he didn't this time either—because it was so much more expensive than the supermarket that the longer walk to reach it was preferable, but James wanted to look anyway, and he marvelled over the muggle chocolate bars and sweets that he'd never seen before, grinning when he spotted some of the health food bars Peter had bought him for his birthday. The shopkeeper watched them the entire time they were there and glared at them when they left without spending any money.
'Friendly fellow,' James commented as the door closed behind them.
'We were acting strange,' Peter said, even though it was only James that had been behaving oddly. 'He probably thought we were trying to steal stuff.'
James nodded. 'Oh, that makes sense. I feel bad now.'
'Don't,' Peter said. 'That shop's a total rip-off. Did you see the price of the milk?'
James chuckled. 'You sound like an old man.'
Of course, James didn't have to worry about things like a few extra pence on the price of milk. He'd never had to wonder how he was going to make it to the end of the weekend on a non-existent budget. Must be nice. Peter shoved his hands into his pocket and forced the jealous thoughts away. James might be rich, but he wasn't selfish with it. Peter knew all he'd have to do was ask and James would get him whatever he needed without even blinking at the price. His heart was as full as his bank vault, and just as golden.
Instead of replying, Peter forced out a small laugh and gave James a smile. He didn't mean to be insensitive; it was just hard for him to understand. 'Come on, I'll show you the park.'
'Does it have a pole thing?' James asked, grinning, with excitement glinting in his eyes.
Peter laughed, for real this time. 'It does,' he said, not mentioning that it was much shorter than the one at Hogwarts. He'd let James discover that for himself.
'Excellent,' James said, bouncing a little. 'Lead the way, Bubbles.'
Twinkles, Moony, Bubbles & Sunshine
June 17th 12:55 pm
Hi, sorry, I was having the world's most boring lunch with the parents from hell. And Regulus. He was there too. I really wish I could come over, but it's not looking like I'll be able to escape today. Mother's invited some people over for the afternoon and I have to be there for some stupid reason to do with being the firstborn (picture me rolling my eyes). Don't worry. I'll be on my best behaviour. I'm working on getting permission to go to Diagon sometime in the next few days so I can meet you all at Bubbles' house, so I won't do anything to piss off the troll.
Hi, Twinkles. I think Bubbles and Sunshine went out. Glad to hear you're working hard on staying safe though, and I hope your plans to get away work out. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever.
Moony & Twinkles - Sirius' pov
June 17th 12:57 pm
Figured I should reply here since it's just me and you. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever, too. I hate this so much. Why do we have to have holidays at all? I kind of wish it was like it was for the squibs and we just left for school at eleven and never went home again.
I think the other students would disagree with you on that, but I can see why you'd want it. I noticed you said 'lunch with the parents from hell.' Have you fallen out with your father? I thought you were getting along okay with him now?
(I have fallen back onto my bed with my hand to my forehead to show that I'm feeling exhausted by the subject). I don't know, Moony. He said some things this morning that seemed caring and concerned at the time, but the more I think about it, the more pissed off I get.
(I'm rolling my eyes at you to show my exasperation at you narrating your dramatics for me). What did he say? Or do you not want to tell me?
(I'm kissing you because you look so cute when you roll your eyes that I can't resist). I don't really want to tell you what he said. Not because it's a secret or anything. Just because it doesn't matter. It was bullshit. I don't know, maybe I was wrong about him at Christmas. I think he's actually a bastard, after all. He was just trying to make me trust him so he could control me better.
(I pull you into my lap and stroke your hair because you look like you need it). I mean, with your parents, that's not completely unrealistic. It would help if I knew what he said, but it's okay if you don't want to tell me. Just, I'm getting a feeling from what you're saying, and I'm probably just being paranoid, but I have to ask, was it about me? Or us? Does he know?
(I sigh because that feels really nice, and I really did need it).
You're not being paranoid. - crossed out
He knows we're a couple, but he doesn't know anything else. - crossed out
He found out and warned me that I couldn't ever be with you properly because I have to get married, but - crossed out
No, it wasn't about us. It was something stupid about the family. Don't worry about it. It's not important. - crossed out
Moony and Twinkles - Remus' pov
June 17th 1:07 pm
(I sigh because that feels really nice, and I really did need it). Stop being so paranoid, Moons. Don't you think I would tell you if it was that?
Yeah, of course, you would. Sorry. Well, whatever it was, I'm sure you're right, and it's just bullshit. I wish I could hug you for real because it really does sound like you need it.
Soon, Moonbeam. I promise. I have to go now, though. I've been summoned to greet Mother's visitors. Talk to you soon.
Alright, bye. Stay safe xxx.
Remus frowned at the page. Sirius' answer to his question had taken close to five minutes to arrive. Why would it take so long to say no? He was probably being ridiculous. Maybe someone had come to his room to speak to him, or he'd left to use the toilet. There were any number of reasons why he might have taken so long to reply, but Remus couldn't shake the nagging feeling that told him Sirius was lying to him. Because, sure, there could be a million different, perfectly rational, reasons for him to take so long to respond, but what other reason could there be for Sirius not to tell him what his father said that pissed him off so much? None. Not that Remus could think of. And it wasn't fair—Sirius had never given him a reason not to trust him before. He'd always been honest—but still, the feeling wouldn't leave.
'Everything okay?' his mum asked, and Remus looked up to meet her concerned eyes. He hadn't heard her come back in. 'You're glaring at that notebook like it's your mortal enemy.
Remus closed it so she wouldn't be able to read the page—or spot the kisses—and took the cup of tea she was holding out to him with a smile. 'No, I'm fine. Just Sirius being weird. I'm sure it's nothing.'
Placing her own cup on the coffee table, she took her seat at the other end of the sofa, picking her playing cards back up but giving him one more searching look before she turned her attention to them. 'Alright. You know I'm here if you ever want to talk about anything?'
'Yeah, of course, mum,' Remus said, tucking the notebook into the gap between his thigh and the back of the sofa before picking up his own cards. They were a muggle set—his mum didn't like the sound effects and random explosions that were a part of all magical sets of cards—and Remus was pretty sure he was winning this match.
Several games later, they decided to stop when the score was an even six each and Remus' mum went to get dinner started, leaving Remus to entertain himself. He was putting the pack of cards away in his desk drawer when the memories came rushing back in a flood of sound and swirling colours and he clutched his head as he waited for them to settle back into place.
Straightening up when it was over, his gaze landed on the notebook on his desk and he frowned. Sirius had lied to him before. He remembered now. When Sirius had thought the truth would cause him too much pain, he'd lied. Was he doing it again? It couldn't be exactly the same—he knew he hadn't hurt anyone during the last full moon. He'd seen all the people that were put in harm's way with his own eyes, and they were all perfectly fine—but it could be a similar situation. Sirius believing he wouldn't be able to handle the truth so deciding not to give it to him. The thought was infuriating. He was handling the truth just fine, wasn't he? He hadn't let it affect his grades, and no one knew he was anything other than perfectly okay.
And if he was right, if Sirius was lying to him, did that mean his father did know about them? How much did he know? How had he found out? What was he going to do with the information? Do to Sirius? They'd been keeping it quiet for a reason.
Each question made the fire burning in his stomach flare hotter and brighter until he snatched up the notebook from his desk and grabbed a pen. He had to know.
Moony and Twinkles - Remus' pov
June 17th 4:47 pm
If you're lying to me because you think I can't handle the truth again, I am going to lose it. If you were telling me the truth earlier, then I'm sorry for accusing you, but I can't stop thinking about the fact that you've lied to me before and I think you're doing it again. If your father does know about us, then I need to know that. You have no right to keep that from me. This is your last chance to tell me the truth because if you lie to me now, and I find out, I don't think I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Moony and Twinkles - Sirius' pov
June 17th 4:48 pm
I Solemnly Swear, he doesn't know about us, Moons. - crossed out
I promise, he doesn't know about us. - crossed out
Everything is fine. You have no reason to worry. He knows, but he's not going to do anything, and I'm sorry for lying earlier. I just didn't want you to worry. - crossed out
He doesn't know, Moony. I'd tell you if he did, but I understand why you don't trust me. - crossed out
Okay, I'm really sorry that I lied. You're right, he does know about us, but he's not going to do anything. I promise you're safe. - crossed out
I promise, everything I said was the truth, but I understand why you don't trust me.
With his quill in his right hand and his wand in his left, Sirius bit his lip and stared at the words on the page, trying to decide if he should send them. There was no possible way that Remus could find out he was lying, and telling him the truth would trigger more questions he didn't want to answer, like how had his father found out? And was his lycanthropy secret safe? But he'd thought Remus couldn't possibly find out last time, too.
Tell the truth or lie? Both options were equally terrible. He didn't know what to do.