The vineyard buzzed with life, rows of lush grapevines stretching for miles under the powder blue of the morning sky. The sweet, earthy scent of ripe grapes and freshly turned soil filled the air, mingling with the cheerful chirping of birds. Their songs combined with the soft murmurs of the gathered crowd—villagers, knights, and the estate's priest, all present to witness the first blessing of Katsuki's pilgrimage.
Katsuki stood in front, ignoring the eyes of everyone as he listened to the priest drone on in a ceremonial sermon. The words washed over him, a backdrop to his swirling thoughts about the previous night.
Admitting his feelings to Izuku had been both embarrassing and liberating. Even without saying the words outright, Izuku had understood and reciprocated in his own way. That understanding felt like a release for Katsuki, his palm still tingling from the brush of Izuku's lips on his skin.
He knew it couldn't lead anywhere; their paths would forever be parallel, never crossing, but knowing that Izuku wanted him in return was enough… for now. Those feelings would keep him warm when everything else fell apart around him.
"The Saintess stands before us, a vessel of the goddess's will," the priest intoned, his voice rising with practiced fervor. "Through him, the land shall be blessed, the harvest plentiful, and the people prosperous."
Katsuki resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he moved forward. The soil beneath him was still damp and cool against his bare feet as he moved with practiced elegance. It felt more like strings attached to his limbs moving him through every step.
As his robes swirled around him, the chimes and beats that accompanied his blessing were faint in his ears. He could feel the warm touch of the sunlight on his skin, the rustling of the vines, and the murmurs of the villagers who sang the familiar hymns of the temple.
It was all empty to Katsuki. He felt nothing. There were no fancy swirls of magic, no growing power within him. He doubted if the ritual that had been beaten into him all these years even did anything at all for the land or the people that resided here.
He didn't believe it did. Never in all his years as the Saintess had he ever shown anything that would set him apart from any other normal person here. He couldn't heal the sick like the healers in the temple. He couldn't create fire from his hands or fly like the mages in the north.
He was nothing but a puppet being pulled by its strings to perform for the masses so that they'd empty their pockets for those that pulled him about on stage.
Katsuki's gaze swept over the foolish crowd. The villagers watched with reverence while the priest nodded in approval. But his eyes were drawn only to Izuku.
His friend stood tense, his attention locked away from Katsuki's dance and towards two knights who smirked and whispered among themselves.
Katsuki couldn't hear their words, but he knew Izuku well enough to recognize when he was growing upset. Whatever the knights were saying must be about him.
A mix of curiosity and concern churned in Katsuki's chest. He knew the knights' comments were likely snide; he wasn't so naive that he wasn't aware of their views of him. But if Izuku said anything it would only escalate things.
The dance came to a graceful end and the priest finished his sermon with a flourish. "Thanks to the temple for providing this sacred blessing," he proclaimed. "May the Saintess's divine grace bring abundance and prosperity to our lands."
Katsuki moved towards Izuku as the sermon ended, but his handmaids were there before he could take the first step.
"Saintess, we must prepare you for the departure," one of the handmaids said, her voice firm but respectful.
"Please, Saintess, this way," another added, gently but insistently guiding him away from Izuku.
"But I—" Katsuki began, only to be cut off.
"There's no time for delay," the first handmaid insisted. "The journey ahead is long, and we must ensure everything is in order."
Katsuki cast a longing glance towards Izuku, frustration bubbling beneath his calm exterior. The maids continued to chatter about preparations and schedules, effectively cutting off any chance he had to speak.
They were back on their journey before the sun reached its peak in the sky. The procession wound through a tapestry of landscapes—tall whispering trees framed distant mountain scapes as they traveled farther south. Every so often, they passed small villages with curious onlookers.
As the crisp chill of the morning gave way to the warmth of the afternoon, Katsuki shifted uncomfortably in his seat, the cramped quarters of his carriage doing little to soothe the newest wave of warmth in his belly.
Peeking out occasionally, he watched Izuku riding beside the carriage, his posture alert, the tension in his shoulders showing that he was still upset by the knights' words. Izuku's eyes scanned the surrounding area, occasionally narrowing at the knights around them.
They finally halted in a small clearing by a stream for a brief rest while the knights filled their canisters with fresh water. Katsuki was assisted by the coachmen as the knights dismounted and stretched.
"Right this way, Saintess. Your handmaids have set up a small area for you to rest," the coachman said.
Katsuki said little as the handmaids chattered around him, their voices a mixture of concern and annoyance that grated on his nerves.
"The Saintess deserves better than this rough journey," one handmaid complained, her tone indignant.
"The Captain should have provided more comforts and attempted more stops. They can't expect the Saintess to handle these kinds of harsh conditions," another added, casting a pitying glance at Katsuki.
With a sigh, Katsuki accepted the small vial of medicine handed to him. "Here, Saintess, you mustn't forget," the handmaid said. She was a stocky woman who barely reached Katsuki's chest and was the oldest among them. He found her the least bothersome compared to the younger handmaids.
"Yes, yes, I know," Katsuki grumbled, swallowing the bitter liquid. The uncomfortableness in his skin eased as his heat was numbed by the remedy. The routine was a constant reminder of his role, but as much as he detested it, he knew it was better than the alternative.
As he settled down, Katsuki's attention was drawn to the knights whispering among themselves, their eyes lingering on him and his handmaids. Their growing curiosity and lewd comments rarely reached his ears, but he could imagine what they were saying, making his skin crawl.
"A real beauty, isn't he?" one said loud enough for Katsuki to catch, his lips curling into a sneer that revealed a scar running from his chin to his jawline.
Katsuki's frustration grew. He had hoped their time at the estate would have curbed some of their desires, but it seemed to have only sparked a fire. Even his handmaids looked towards the knights in disdain, creating a small circle around him.
Elder handmaid Hana, her graying hair tied back in a tight bun and her wrinkled face set in a stern expression, stood protectively by his side. Her shorter stature belied the strength and authority she carried. "Pay them no mind, Saintess. They are men of low character, thinking only with their groins and forgetting the teachings of the goddess," Hana said.
Beside her, Aiko, a young handmaid with dark, almond-shaped eyes and a graceful demeanor, nodded in agreement. "You would think the King's knights would keep their eyes from wandering, instead of coveting one who belongs to their king," she whispered, her tone sharp.
Katsuki smirked as the knights gave them dirty looks. One knight with a patchy beard and another with a crooked nose glared back, clearly displeased. His handmaids were women of the temple, but he could at least appreciate their attempts to ward them off. Despite his irritation at their constant fussing, a small part of him felt grateful for their loyalty and protection.
The handmaids parceled water for Katsuki to wash his face. The cool water felt fresh against his skin, momentarily easing his tension. But the peace was short-lived.
Captain Verric appeared, his presence immediately putting Katsuki on edge despite his civil words. "Saintess, I hope the journey hasn't been too harsh on you?"
"I manage, Captain," Katsuki replied, his voice measured.
Verric's eyes lingered a moment too long, his smile not reaching his eyes. "I was hoping to speak with you further. We must discuss your safety measures as we enter House Blackthorn territory."
Katsuki shifted, his discomfort growing. "Of course, Captain. Your diligence is appreciated."
Before the conversation could continue, Izuku appeared, his expression firm. "Captain, I need to speak with you about our next stop," Izuku stated, his tone leaving no room for argument.
"Surely it can wait," Verric began, but Izuku cut him off.
"Need I remind you, I am in charge of the Saintess's safety. If you have anything to discuss, you may speak with me directly. There is no need to trouble the Saintess," Izuku said, his eyes trained on the Captain without acknowledging Katsuki.
The interaction dampened Katsuki's mood further. He knew Izuku didn't mean what he said, but reality was setting back in, and although he trusted Izuku was doing what was best, his frustration grew with their inability to speak alone.
"I just thought the Saintess would want to be privy to our plans. I apologize if I was being too presumptuous," Verric said, his shoulder grazing Izuku, who remained unwavering.
"Izuku?" Katsuki asked, his voice filled with concern.
Izuku glanced back at him for a moment before his gaze lingered on the curious handmaids around them.
"Saintess, please excuse me. I will return after speaking with the Captain. I will make sure we find better arrangements for tonight."
Izuku turned away, and Katsuki was forced to sit and wait, his fist clenched at his side as the handmaids moved about around him.
He never returned much to Katsuki's annoyance, and by evening they had reached a tavern for the night. The place was quaint with limited space, nestled in a small village.
The cool night air, with stars scattered across the clear sky, was serene through the small window of his room. The knights and Izuku could be seen below, the limited space inside the tavern reserved for Katsuki, his handmaids, and the Captain.
Small fires scattered the cleared area as laughter and quiet conversation filtered up to his room, blending with the sounds of the night. Izuku was clear beneath him, his solemn figure a contrast to the camaraderie among the knights.
Despite the warmth and comfort, Katsuki felt restless, the walls closing in around him, amplifying the isolation from Izuku. He couldn't understand what had changed from last night to now. He didn't think the knights' words could have caused such a distance between them.
The maids exchanged hesitant glances, but Katsuki ignored their attempts to get his attention. Hana, the elder handmaid, finally spoke. "Saintess, why don't we start a bath to help you relax before bed?"
"You may go now, I want to be alone," Katsuki said, his tone polite but firm.
"But Saintess…" Aiko, the young handmaid, attempted to protest, but she was shushed by Hana, who ushered her and the others out the door.
"Please make sure to rest well, Saintess. May the goddess bless you with pleasant dreams tonight," Hana said as she closed the door behind her.
As their steps faded into the corridor, Katsuki waited a moment longer until he was sure they were gone before pulling one of his cloaks around him.
"You better get ready to beg for forgiveness for ignoring me, Izuku."
He slipped out of the room, moving carefully to avoid drawing attention. The wooden floorboards of the tavern creaked softly under his feet, each sound amplifying his heartbeat in the quiet night.
Thankfully, the tavern was mostly empty, as other visitors were sent elsewhere for the night. The dim lighting made it easier to sneak out, casting long shadows that danced with each flicker of the lanterns, but his heart still pounded with each step. The thrill was both familiar from his time sneaking out of the temple and mixed with the anxiety of being caught.
Outside, the night was cooler than the tavern's heated space, and the chill snuck past his cloak to the much too thin layers of his robe. The crisp air smelled of pine and damp earth, grounding him as he took a moment to steady his breathing. The small fires flickered, casting shadows around him and creating a path of warmth amidst the cold.
Izuku had moved from his spot, now standing by the knights, his shoulders tense. As Katsuki approached, he heard the low murmur of their voices and slowed his steps, curiosity piqued.
He slipped behind a tree, hiding in the darkness as he listened in. The words drifted through the night air, mocking and filled with envy.
"You have some nerve coming to spout nonsense at us," one knight said, his arms crossed against the plate of his armor as he mocked Katsuki's friend.
"The fact that any of you think you have the right to look down on the Saintess... I expect you to show him the respect he deserves as the chosen divine," Izuku said.
There were snickers as more knights came forward to listen. Katsuki's grip on the bark of the tree tightened, his heartbeat thudding loudly in his ears, anxious that Izuku was going to be facing more than he could handle.
"You holy zealots sure take your worship seriously. But a word of advice: save your words for the peasant sheep who chase after their goddess's skirts for a drop of favor," another knight sneered, his beady eyes glinting in the firelight.
"Regardless of your beliefs in the goddess, we all have the same duty—to protect the Saintess until he reaches the king. The Saintess will bear your future king, and he deserves your respect. Don't forget that."
The knights muttered amongst themselves, their voices lowering as they glanced warily at Izuku. Katsuki felt a surge of pride at how Izuku handled them. His fingers dug into the rough bark, the texture grounding him amid the swirling emotions.
One of the knights, a burly man with a jagged scar across his cheek, came forward, leaning in with a smirk. The shadows of the firelight danced across his features as he looked down at Izuku. Katsuki's heart clenched, each beat pounding against his ribcage as he pressed himself closer to the side of the tree, straining to hear his words. He could see Izuku standing his ground, posture tense but composed.
"Be honest, Protector. You have it the easiest after all. We all have to guard the Saintess on this journey, but I heard the king promised you anything as a reward for bringing the Saintess to him," the scarred knight jeered.
"What the hell? Brenner, where did you hear this?," another knight interjected, nudging the scarred knight.
"From our King himself." Brenner said.
Whispers sparked around them as the news made its way through the knights. Katsuki was trapped in place, trying to process what he was hearing. His breathing quickened, and his stomach churned with unease.
'A reward?'
"Tell me, Protector. What are you going to ask for?" asked Brenner, his voice dripping with mockery.
"My reward is none of your concern. You should be focusing on your duties," Izuku said, the edge sharp in his tone—a subtle warning Katsuki recognized from when he was angry.
Despite Izuku's composed response, Katsuki felt a pang in his chest. The idea that Izuku might have thought about his reward unsettled him. His stomach churned, gnawing at his insides as his mind raced, questioning everything. Had Izuku truly been considering what he stood to gain at the end of all this? The very thought stung more than he wanted to admit.
Katsuki took a breath, trying to steady himself, but the unease remained.
The camp area was bathed in the flickering firelight, casting long, wavering shadows on the faces of the knights and Izuku. The mocking tone of the knights' conversation still hung in the air, thick with tension. Katsuki, hidden behind the tree, felt his emotions boil over.
Unable to contain himself any longer, Katsuki stepped forward, his voice sharp and filled with hurt. "I also would like to know what you will ask for as your reward, Protector?"
The sudden interruption startled everyone. The knights' jeering smiles faltered, and all eyes turned to Katsuki. Izuku's expression shifted from surprise to concern.
"Kats…Saintess," Izuku began, his tone placating, "you shouldn't be out here—"
"Come on, you must have had enough time to consider your options. So what will it be? To join the King's knighthood? A title? That may be too much responsibility for you though. Maybe land and money to retire altogether?" Katsuki's voice broke slightly, revealing his turmoil.
Izuku moved towards him, placing his hand on the crook of Katsuki's arm. "Saintess, this is not the place. Let me escort you back to your room."
But Katsuki jerked away, his nails digging into his palms as he glared at Izuku. "No, I want to know too. I have the right to know what you will be given in exchange for me."
The knights watched behind Izuku's form with growing interest, their earlier mockery replaced with keen attention. Izuku's jaw clenched, his frustration evident as he leaned down to muffle their exchange from the prying ears around them. "Please, Katsuki, let's go inside."
Katsuki's eyes burned as he looked at his friend, the person he trusted above anyone else. "Why have you never told me about this? Were you hoping I wouldn't find out?"
Izuku's jaw tightened, and he glanced around at the knights, who were now fully engrossed in the unfolding drama. His voice was a low, urgent whisper. "This isn't the place for this conversation. Let's go somewhere private, now."
As he tried to grasp his arm again, Katsuki jerked back in return. "I can escort myself."
Katsuki turned and rushed back inside, Izuku right behind him as he made his way through the hallways, his footsteps echoing against the walls.
"Kacch….Saintess, wait!" Izuku called out.
"Don't follow me Izuku!"
He reached his room, and Izuku had the decency not to force his way in as Katsuki quickly shut the door in his face, locking it behind him.
His breaths came fast and shallow, the weight of the recent confrontation pressing heavily on his chest. Outside, he could hear Izuku on the other side of the door shifting as he pressed into the wood, followed by his soft, urgent pleas to talk.
"Kacchan, please, let me explain," Izuku's voice was muffled by the door, desperation clear in his tone.
The room felt stifling, the silence heavy with unspoken words. Katsuki leaned against the door, his heart pounding as he tried to gather his thoughts. The roughness of the wooden door against his back was a stark contrast to the softness of his emotions.
'I'm a fool.' Katsuki thought, his fists clenching. He knew Izuku wasn't like the other knights; he couldn't understand why he lashed out at him in such a way, but he couldn't ignore the betrayal he felt clashing with his deep-seated trust in Izuku.
He fought the urge to lash out, biting back the angry retorts that bubbled up inside him. Suppressing his tears, he felt trapped by his emotions and the situation they were in. The walls seemed to close in around him, the pressure almost unbearable.
"Kacchan, please," Izuku's voice came again, softer this time, full of concern.
"Go away, Izuku!"
"Okay, but just… I'm sorry, Kacchan. I don't want to explain things here, but I promise it's not what you think."
As his steps faded away, Katsuki's resolve crumbled as he slid down the door to the floor. The coldness of the floor seeped through his robe, grounding him in the harsh reality of the situation. Alone in his room, he allowed himself to cry, the tears a release of the pent-up emotions he'd been carrying since he presented. His shoulders shook with the force of his sobs, each one tearing at the facade of control he had tried so hard to maintain.
Of course, Izuku would be rewarded. The thought didn't surprise him, but being faced with it, reality settled into his bones. There was no future for them. Izuku would have to accept some consolation prize and move on from him one day.
"You idiot, what was the point in knowing his feelings? In the end, he'll move on without you and you'll be left with nothing but a fantasy," he whispered to himself, his voice breaking. The realization hit him hard. The knowledge of Izuku's feelings, rather than soothing his turmoil, had only deepened his despair.
"I can't keep holding onto him. I need to put distance while I still can," Katsuki thought, his resolve hardening. The reality of it weighed heavily on him. He envisioned a future for Izuku filled with happiness and normalcy, a future that didn't include him but some faceless wife and some bratty kids that he knew Izuku would spoil.
"I want him to be happy, he deserves to be happy." Katsuki lifted himself up from the dusty floor, taking a deep breath to tame the turmoil inside himself. "I have to let go."
Tears slipped down his cheek, but he scrubbed them away.
"This is for the best. It has to be," Katsuki told himself, his voice steady despite the growing pit in his chest. He knew it was the best path for both of them. The decision solidified in his mind as he laid down, resolved to put the necessary distance between them. He knew Izuku wouldn't take things quietly, but Katsuki would have to force his hand by any means necessary for both their sakes.