A/N: Apologies for the long wait, this one just didn't want to be written!
"Rise and shine! Wakey wakey, Sakura!" The bedside table that was subsequently launched directly at my face was just barely dodged, instead flying out the window behind me and shattering against the building across the street.
"How can you be so chipper?" she complained. "You spent all night chugging liquor."
"All night, and most of the early morning," I cheerfully corrected. "Turns out having a demon in you gives you super tolerance and lets you run on three hours of sleep. Now get up, Kakashi's already waiting in the lobby." A thrown pillow followed the earlier table out the window. "And please stop doing that, compensating business owners for damaged furniture is such a pain."
"Orochimaru-sama."
"Kabuto-kun, I told you not to interrupt my training," the snake-eyed shinobi admonished gently, examining the crystalline katana he had created with his newest body's kekkei genkai.
"I know, my lord, but we've just received some time-sensitive intel that I thought you might want to act on. Apparently the Yondaime Mizukage has just been assassinated, ending the civil war in Kiri."
"Oh?" Orochimaru stroked his chin. "That's much earlier than I anticipated. Still, while the long-term political ramifications will surely be fascinating, I fail to see how this is immediately relevant to us."
"Because I just received a bird from one of our spies. Apparently a team from Konoha was sent to assist, and is now on the way back to their village. A team containing one Uchiha Makoto. Assuming they take the fastest route, they'll pass close to the border within the next few days." A malevolent smile spread across Orochimaru's features upon hearing this news, and he gave a dark chuckle. An excellent opportunity had just fallen into his lap.
"Well, I suppose we should be good neighbours and go congratulate them on the success of their mission, wouldn't you agree, Kabuto-kun?" The medic pushed his glasses up, causing them to glint in the light.
"You read my mind, Orochimaru-sama."
Seeing no pressing need to rush, I kept the team to a moderate speed on the way back. Of course, for ninja, 'moderate speed' was still significantly faster than any normal human, but it meant that our return from Aomori Port back to Konoha would take four days instead of two. The more sedate pace gave me the opportunity to adapt, both to the drastic increase in chakra capacity I had gained from Isobu's chakra leaking into my own and my diminished vision after abusing my Mangekyou against Yagura. I had no intention of telling anyone that I was starting to struggle reading signs and discerning fine details from more than a few metres away without my Sharingan active. So far, neither Kakashi nor Sakura had commented on the fact that I was keeping it turned on all the time, but someone would probably find it suspicious eventually.
Perhaps it was a good thing that I had to keep it on, because one night while I was on watch I spotted a sickeningly familiar purple-hued chakra signature in the trees not far beyond the reach of our campfire. My hand immediately gravitated to the hilt of my sword.
"Show yourself."
"Kukukukukuku. Perceptive as always, Uchiha-chan." Orochimaru casually stepped out into the open and leaned against a tree, arms crossed and an amused grin on his face. Every instinct was screaming at me to attack, to make the first strike and kill this bastard a second time. Instead, I stayed my blade, remaining on guard but not initiating combat. It galled me to admit it, but even if I could wield Isobu's power without succumbing to mindless bloodlust, a fight against Orochimaru was not a fun prospect. This was a man who, even missing part of his soul and with a dying body, was capable of surviving Naruto's four-tailed form at the start of Shippuden. Perhaps if my companions were awake I might chance it, but with them in such a vulnerable position I deemed it better to avoid battle if possible.
"What do you want, Orochimaru?"
"Nothing right now. I just heard about your mission in Mizu and thought I'd check in on my favourite little Uchiha, that's all! I hear you've made quite the reputation for yourself, my little assassin."
"You know, a man your age shouldn't be making small talk with teenage girls out in the woods. People might get the wrong idea." He chuckled, and that predatory grin somehow grew even wider.
"You shouldn't be so cruel to your elders, Uchiha-chan. Especially when they're visiting entirely for your benefit."
"Seeing as your ultimate goal is to steal my body so you can use my clan doujutsu without any drawbacks, you'll have to forgive me for being sceptical of any offer you make." After a brief moment of surprise, Orochimaru let out a laugh.
"Now where have you been sniffing around to come across information like that, hm? I know Sarutobi-sensei wouldn't have let anyone see the research notes I left behind in my old lab. Do you have a taste for forbidden knowledge, Uchiha-chan?" The implication was obvious: that he could furnish me with such knowledge if I desired. No doubt he'd make some small, seemingly innocent demand in exchange that would turn out to have treasonous consequences, then at any time he could leak our collaboration to the Leaf and I would have nowhere to go but to him.
"Let's just say I know more than someone in my position should," I answered evasively. "For example, I know that immortality technique of yours requires you to overpower the mind of the victim. Which leads me to a question I've been pondering since I first learned of it: what happens if you try to take a body inhabited by two minds?" Lifting up my shirt, I channelled a little chakra so that the seal on my belly became visible. "What happens if you try to possess a jinchuriki?"
This was a gamble, I knew. If I was wrong about how Living Corpse Reincarnation interacted with jinchuriki, I had just made myself an even more desirable host. But if I was right, then Orochimaru would have to overpower not only my will, but Isobu's too, and even he would not be likely to try dominating the minds of both a Mangekyou Sharingan wielder and a bijuu at the same time. If I could get him to give up on taking my body, that would be a huge potential threat averted.
"So you stole the Sanbi from Kiri, did you?" The clenching of his jaw was slight, but for a shinobi of his level to let even that much emotion show was telling indeed. It would seem my hunch was correct.
"Indeed I did, and if you don't want to find out what a bijuu-enhanced Amaterasu feels like, you'll fuck right off back to whatever hole you crawled out of." He looked to be weighing his options. Finally he sighed, his posture relaxing.
"Very well, I'll take my leave. But when the people of that pathetic little village of yours turn on you for becoming a demon container – and it's only a matter of time until they do – remember: my door is always open." With that, he vanished in a swirl of leaves. I waited, remaining on alert until I was sure he was gone, then let out a relieved breath. Just to be safe, I decided to wake my comrades and cut the night short.
"Orochimaru is back." Hearing this, Sakura gasped in shock, and Kakashi's visible eye narrowed.
"But- but he's dead!" the former protested. "You killed him yourself!"
"You're sure he definitely died at the chuunin exams?" Kakashi asked.
"Definitely. I felt my Susano'o crush him like an overripe tomato, watched his chakra fade in front of me. Jirayia-sama and Sandaime-sama confirmed the kill. Yet here he was, not five minutes ago. Fucker's found a way to cheat death." Sakura looked ill at the prospect.
"How is that even possible…?"
"It doesn't matter how he did it, only that he did."
"And he came after you, just like he did back in the chuunin exams," observed Kakashi. "What did he want?"
"To recruit me. He implied he could teach me things – secrets, forbidden knowledge, that kind of thing. He withdrew when I threatened to use Isobu's power on him."
"We need to inform Hokage-sama of this."
"Obviously. Let's get moving before he changes his mind and comes back." We set off through the trees, and there would be no breaks from here until we reached the village.
"Damnit!" Orochimaru snarled, slamming his fist into the concrete wall, leaving a sizeable crack that was quickly sealed with pink-tinted crystal. Malice hung heavy in the air, his chakra stirring chaotically before settling with a leaden weight. "We should have gone after her as soon as I adjusted to Guren's body! Now I've lost my chance." He had thought that, since he could not take the brat's body for at least another three years anyway, there would be no harm in working on other projects in the meantime, and so had seen no need to rush himself in recruiting her. How could he possibly have predicted that she would go and make herself into a damn jinchuriki? He took a deep breath and regained his control. This was a severe setback, but his plan to obtain a healthy Uchiha body may not have been rendered unsalvageable just yet. He would need to get his hands on some data from Konoha to see whether his next idea was viable, though.
"Kabuto-kun, I want you to get in touch with Danzo-san again…"
"You are absolutely insane," Tsunade grumbled upon hearing the summary of our mission, looking like she desperately wanted a drink. "The paperwork alone is going to be a nightmare, and the diplomatic fallout…"
"I did what was necessary," I defended. "My other options were to continue fighting a losing battle against a superior enemy or to break the seal and release a bijuu in the middle of Kiri."
"I'm not doubting you," she clarified, "but you have to understand that you've single-handedly shifted the entire continent's balance of power." Leaning back in her chair, the Hokage shook her head and muttered something about needing booze. "Dismissed. I want your written reports on my desk by tomorrow night," she ordered after a moment.
"Actually, Tsunade, there's still one more thing. Orochimaru's back." In an instant she was back at full attention, eyes hard.
"What?" I explained what had happened on the way back to the village, of course leaving out the parts I shouldn't have any way of knowing, and by the end Tsunade appeared to be on the brink of putting her desk through the wall. "That bastard. He's been obsessed with immortality since the second war, but to think he's actually managed to pull it off… What a mess." She had one of her Anbu send for Shikaku Nara, then dismissed us, no doubt to organise scouting parties and reinforce the patrols on the border with Ta no Kuni.
The next day, after handing in my report, I immediately went to find Anko, deciding that she deserved to know her old mentor was back from the grave. It was early afternoon, the time she was usually getting dango before heading to the training ground, and as expected I found her just finishing her favourite snack. She looked to be in a good mood, and I felt guilty that I would no doubt be ruining her day very soon.
"Hey, Mako-chan! How was the mission?" she greeted cheerily.
"Oh, you know, the usual. Killed the Mizukage, ended a war, became a jinchuriki. Nothing special." The purple-haired assassin choked on her drink.
"Fucking hell!" she coughed out. "I thought you'd be killing some noble or something, not a Kami-damned Kage! And what's that about a jinchuriki?"
Once Anko had been filled in on events in Mizu, I prepared to move on to the primary reason I was there, and she must have noticed something was wrong judging by the way her lips curved into a frown.
"There's more isn't there?" she enquired pointedly.
"Yeah." I took a deep breath. "During the trip back, I ran into someone you should know about." Rubbing the back of my neck, I tried to think of a good way to put it, but really there was no easy way to tell her, so I just came out with it. "Orochimaru's alive again. Fucker found a way to cheat death somehow." There was a sharp intake of breath, and her expression quickly flickered between anger, hate, and something indescribable before hardening into an unreadable mask. She could not, however, hide the trembling of her hands or the intensity in her eyes.
"Of course," she spat, venom in her words. "Of course killing him once wouldn't be enough. Kami…" She gave a quiet, hollow chuckle. "Well, then I'll just have to keep killing him until it sticks."
There were times when Kakashi's former students scared him, and finding a veritable horde of Makotos at the Uchiha clan training grounds was one of them. The mass of Shadow Clones filling the private training grounds with fire, lightning, and the clashing of steel would probably have resulted in significant noise complaints if there were any neighbours to annoy. Evidently, the Sanbi had drastically boosted his student's chakra capacity, and she was making use of it by having more than two dozen Clones all working at once, split into groups that each worked on something different.
"You here to see the Boss?" one of them enquired, looking up from what appeared to be fuuinjutsu practice. At his nod, the Clone poofed out of existence, and not five seconds later was replaced in a swirl of leaves by what he could only assume was the original. By her heavy breathing and sweaty, dishevelled appearance, she must have been focusing hard on physical conditioning.
"What's up, Senpai? Care to join us? I've figured out a new modification for the Chidori you might find useful." A few of the copies seemed to perk up at the idea of showing off a new jutsu, and having multiple sets of perfectly identical Sharingan eyes looking expectantly at him like that was kind of unnerving, not that he'd ever admit it.
"Sounds interesting, but that's not why I'm here. Hokage-sama wants to see you. I suggest you get cleaned up."
"Serious business, huh? Alright, thanks Senpai. Clones, keep working! Anyone who slacks off gets to be a lab rat for the Body Horror Jutsu!" With that, she Body Flickered away, leaving him to ask the nearest Clone the obvious question.
"What's the Body Horror Jutsu?"
The grin he got in reply would not have looked out of place on Anko during an interrogation.
Sakura was in the room as well when I slid in through the window, and she shook her head as I earned the usual irritated comment from Tsunade.
"You'd think today of all days you could show a little decorum," the older medic grumbled. I raised a brow in query, and she got down to business. "Haruno Sakura," she began in her official 'this is important' tone. "For your exceptional skills as a medic-nin and your performance under fire, I am hereby promoting you to the rank of chuunin. I'm proud of you, Sakura." The flak vest she produced from under her desk was eagerly accepted with a bow.
"Thank you, Tsunade-sensei!" The Hokage's attention turned to me.
"Uchiha Makoto. Having shown extraordinary skills in multiple shinobi arts, and demonstrated the cunning, leadership, and courage of a true Konoha ninja, I hereby promote you to the rank of jounin."
"I'm honoured, Hokage-sama." I bowed low, and Tsunade snorted.
"So you do know how to show a little decorum. Sakura, dismissed. Makoto, we still have business to discuss."
"What kind of business?"
"Politics."
That single word sent a dark shiver down my spine.
A/N: Happy holidays to everyone reading, whatever you celebrate!