Note: I am liberally ripping off Cave Johnson quotes from Portal 2. You're welcome to bring it up, but I'll ignore your complaints. Why? Because complaints don't help Science! Complainers get shown the door! Yes, you! Box! Your stuff! Out the front door! Parking lot! Car! Goodbye!

Neon Senshi Evangelion

Eight

"Damn it, this has Cave Johnson written all over it," Yui growled as she waited, looking over the latest reports.

The press release from Japan Heavy Chemical Industries was followed up by more press releases, all written with a combination of scientific information and pure salesmanship. The tone was informative yet chatty, combined with a cheerful manner that drew the reader in. There was a lot of positive response from major companies in Japan, though admittedly that was also due to the chance to make money manufacturing parts and equipment for Jet Alone.

Misato Katsuragi scowled as the purple black haired woman donned her hated military uniform, pulling the starched and uncomfortable clothes on. She had done her best to get out of this, but Yui and Gendo's arguments had been too good. And honestly, they really didn't have anyone else they could really send to represent NERV.

"You look good," Yui noted mildly, getting a glare from her 'daughter.' "I see we're still not happy about this?" she asked.

Misato tugged at her uniform jacket irritably, then straightened her skirt. "I feel like I'm being sent into the lion's den," she admitted. "Is it true Naoko sold us out?" she asked.

"I wouldn't say sold us out," Yui said reasonably, "NERV did fire her." As Misato gave her a scornful look Yui shrugged, "Just trying to be reasonable."

"Thank god you're not sending Ritsuko," Misato sighed. She brightened a bit, "Though the last cat-fight those two had was pretty entertaining."

"You're evil," Yui chuckled as they left Misato's bedroom and walked through the woman's apartment. "You know they'll try to pump you for data, right?" she said.

"I'll play the gruff soldier if anyone tries," Misato reassured her.

The two left her suite and went the short way up the hall to the much larger apartment where the rest of the Ikari's lived. A visibly nervous Maya Ibuki waited, in a skirt and blouse combo. She actually looked pretty cute, though Misato wasn't going to say that.

"Maya, relax," Yui urged the girl, "if you get any more stiff you'll be petrified."

Maya frowned at her as she said, "We're representing NERV at this event, ma'am. It's important we look good."

Both Shinji and Rei were at school, which was probably all for the good. At least both teens weren't adding random commentary. Misato rather thought it was bad enough having Yui here. Deciding it might be best to distract Maya she asked, "How is the planned transfer for Unit-02 going?"

"It's as complicated as we expected," Maya admitted, then began to explain the complications involved in shipping a humongous war machine across the planet. It calmed her down enough for Misato to say goodbye to Yui, hustle Maya to the car and head to the airport for their short flight before Maya realized what was happening.

"You feeling better?" Misato asked as they took the short ranged helijet.

"I think so," Maya agreed as she peered nervously out the window. They probably could have even taken a car, but this was faster and had more style.

"Just keep telling yourself that we're the big boys and they're the upstarts," Misato suggested mildly. She flashed a smile, "Heck, we don't even know if their Jet Alone will work!"

Maya shook her head, "There's no way they would dare have this degree of publicity if they weren't confident it would work." She hesitated a moment then asked, "I've never met Naoko Akagi, what's she like?"

"Bitter," Misato said candidly as they watched the landscape zoom by, "but very, very driven. I think that even with all the fame that came with developing the Magi, she was never terribly happy or felt fulfilled."

"Because she had a thing for Gendo?" Maya asked tentatively.

"Been listening to the rumor mill?" Misato noted, laughing softly. "Yeah, she had built this thing up in her head around Gendo, apparently seriously thought she could get Gendo to leave Yui for her. When that didn't happen, things got messy."

Misato pointedly did not bring up the rumored attempt by Naoko to kill Yui. Mostly because Yui herself had shushed it up after getting Naoko committed for awhile, and because she didn't want to scare Maya any more than she already was.

"Well," Misato said as the helijet came down not far from the old Tokyo airport and the testing range, "let's hope this ends up being a nice, normal event."

"Yeah," Maya agreed.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Hello!" the odd looking cone shaped robot said cheerfully, it's single red eye firing a scanning laser over their Ids. It chirped cheerfully then scuttled aside to let them in, "Have a nice day."

"What the...," Maya blinked, looking at it wide eyed.

"Turret," Misato growled as they stood in the main entrance to the sprawling building Japan Heavy Chemical Industries had set up for the show. "They're US military combat robots, and by god I hope they've been disarmed."

"Disarmed?" Maya squeaked.

"I wouldn't worry, Major Katsuragi," the familiar voice said as a young woman hurried through the milling crowds, "we've gone over them very carefully before using them."

Misato smiled as she recognized the younger woman, one of the sisters to Rei's friend. "It's Kodama Horaki, right?" she asked, smiling at the business suit clad woman, "And you can just call me Misato, please."

"Misato, then," Kodama smiled, shaking her hand then she looked curiously at Maya.

"Maya Ibuki," Misato introduced her, "she's my technical support on this little excursion."

"Miss Ibuki," Kodama smiled then joked, "I promise not to try to trick you into revealing classified details about the Evangelions."

"Thank you," Maya smiled dryly back.

"Now we just have to," Kodama started only to be interrupted by a crackle from the public address system.

"Cave Johnson here. Most companies would just use a rebuilt warehouse," the voice cheerfully boomed, "but not here at Japan Heavy Chemical Industries! We purchased this entire hotel, including the bits that sank underwater and rebuilt it for this event! You can even go down to the section that's still flooded and swim around a bit, at your own risk of course. We're done here."

The broadcast cut off, and Kodama sighed. Misato looked at her sympathetically as she asked, "So that was the infamous Cave Johnson, right?"

"Yes, it was," Kodama admitted as the three walked through the crowded ballroom where most of the delegates were.

Misato swept the crowd with her eyes, taking note of who she recognized and trying to fix new faces in her memory. She was vaguely annoyed to recognize several contractors who did work for NERV, many of which scurried away as soon as they saw her.

"Will it be possible to examine Jet Alone?" Maya asked curiously as they headed towards a woman talking to a younger man.

"It's currently at the remote testing site, but once the test is over we'll be taking groups out," Kodama said with a smile. "I'm surprised you want to, though. Isn't Jet Alone your rival?"

"Not in the way you mean," Misato shrugged. "I'm in charge of working out how NERV can best use it's available assets in combat, and this could be a very useful tool."

"I see," Kodama said as they reached the group. "Maya, Misato, I'd like you to meet Shingo Tsukino," she nodded to the brown haired man, "and you already know Naoko Akagi."

"Misato," Naoko nodded curtly.

"Ma'am," Shingo nodded, the slightly younger man looking at her thoughtfully.

"Ritsuko sends her regrets," Misato said mildly, "she thought a knock down screaming catfight would spoil the occasion."

Naoko blinked at her while Shingo and Kodama both froze, then the older woman began to laugh. Her smile was somewhat warmer as she said, "I always liked you, Misato."

Kodama looked relieved as she said, "Do you want some refreshments? I think some of the turrets are serving drinks."

"Poor things, they look so confused not shooting at people," Misato noted wryly as one waddled by, a tray bolted to it's side.

"Well," Shingo started only to be cut off by the public address system.

"Cave Johnson here. We'll be putting Jet Alone through a rigorous series of test today. Of course, not too rigorous. I wanted to use Jet Alone sized turrets, but the accountants said no. Maybe next year! This is Cave Johnson, we're done here."

Everyone just ignored that.

"You know," Shingo said bravely to Misato, "you look sort of familiar. Have we met before?"

Misato looked him up and down with a slight smile on her face. "Mr. Tsukino, are you seriously trying to pick me up?" she drawled.

Shingo made a choking noise even as Kodama glared at her possessively. "Of course not!" she yelped.

'Well, well,' Misato smirked.

Shingo recovered after a moment, "No, I didn't mean..." Then he saw her smile and realized she was pulling his leg. "Very funny," he said dourly.

Maya was covering her mouth as she tried to contain her giggle, while even Naoko looked amused. "Were you the one who saran wrapped my office that time?" Naoko had to ask, remembering the enigmatic mute girl she had known back at NERV.

"Of course not," Misato said innocently, "besides, where would I get quantities of saran wrap in that kind of bulk?"

Kodoma hid a smile as Naoko glared at Misato too. "So, did you want to try picking Shingo's brain about Jet Alone?" she asked curiously.

"Nah," Misato shrugged, "I'll just have my Section 2 agents kidnap him and interrogate him. Much faster and more efficient."

"You're joking, right?" Shingo asked, but she just smiled.

To be continued...

Notes: Yes, Aperture Science exists in this universe. No idea if the Portal Gun does yet, but it wouldn't surprise me. Cave Johnson is hard to write for, by the way. I used less obvious quotes than I had planned.