Chapter 15
Issues of a sluggish nature
Chamber of Secrets
Marley was doing better, which made everyone feel better. Not to focus only on Marley though – all of the gang had started to adjust to their second year after the first week had passed. Detention wasn't the worst, Ron was allowed to borrow a used wand, though only during required lessons and it apparently misfired spells, according to the boy at least.
Hermione was, as usual, the busiest out of everyone, focusing her efforts on studying months ahead of every final they'd have this semester, easily outshining all of her friends at every subject, minus Marley in Potions, which the Slytherin had been slowly grown to master somewhat.
Harry might've been the jolliest, his lack of worries regarding one of his friends plus his decision to ignore bigger problems for now meant that the boy could focus on this year's season of Quidditch, having obviously been reinvited to be the team's Seeker again. Even Malfoy looked sort of, mildly happy with himself when they crossed him in a hallway today. Essentially Nirvana for that kid. It seemed as though things were finally moving away from mail fraud and car theft and towards the normal, everyday life of second year students.
It was for that reason Harry found himself very unhappy the moment their newest educator revealed himself to a bored audience with a pronounced smile and a sunset purple cloak, most likely tailor-made, and as about as unique as the wizard wearing them.
"Let me introduce you to your new Defence against the Dark Arts teacher...", he paused before his perfectly straight teeth formed the greasiest of smiles to a group of confused-looking twelve-year-olds, seated quite literally below him, "...me. Gilderoy Lockhart."
Some students (mostly girls and maybe one gay guy) sighed with red cheeks at the man's entrance, Hermine joining for a second before remembering that Marley was seated to her left, immediately subsiding her cliché adoration of the obvious slime ball in a shame-filled expression.
"My tremendous qualifications for this newest adventure of mine include Order of Merlin, third class..."
Having not yet impressed... children, the grown celebrity began listing off his achievements as he sauntered down a small staircase towards the classroom proper.
"...Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award."
Lockhart paused to smile, why Harry couldn't figure out, nor did he particularly care.
"But I don't talk about that stuff.", he said after talking about that stuff, "I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at him."
He broke into laughter at the anecdote, which presented some level of mild amusement, mostly to the man himself, who sounded like a Skinwalker trying to hide the fact that he's inhuman. Once this charade subsided, he switched to a slightly more serious state of conduct, which suppose was Lockhart's best attempt at imitating an actual teacher.
"I can see that all of you purchased a complete series of my books, well done. Now, I thought we'd start today with...", he once again paused as to artificially inflate the room's tension, meanwhile gathering a pile of paper behind him, "...a little quiz."
As their professor began handing out the one-page, mostly multiple-choice probe, Harry could tell from his peripheral vision that Marley was looking over to him, the girl frowning quite harshly as her friend agreed with a shrug that this whole "lesson" was quite odd.
"Nothing to worry about. Just something that tells me how well you've read them."
As he handed over one to Hermione the girl could no longer hide her innocent blush.
"Thank you.", she said while subconsciously stroking back her hair.
"Look at all of these questions.", Ron meanwhile whispered, "They're all about him."
" 'What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite colour?'", Harry read quietly with a raised eyebrow.
" 'What is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?'", Ron did the same next to him.
"I don't think some of these questions are really age appropriate.", Marley surmised in a mumble while Hermione politely ignored her.
"You have thirty minutes...", the famous wizard announced once back at the head of his classroom, "Start... now!"
Some time passed where even the most die-hard Lockhart fans, known as the Locks, couldn't muster what the hell to write in or which boxes to tick in what was one of the most blatant displays of self-indulgence they'd seen from a teacher at Hogwarts so far. Only Hermione came off as decently appropriate once the sheets were recollected by their new professor, not surprising, as the girl falls onto that rare intersection of fan girl and actually smart.
Lockhart took an extra ten minutes or so to grade each and every one live, making theatrical noises of dissatisfaction whilst skimming the finished... well... "works"?
"Tut, tut. Hardly any of you remembered that my favourite colour is lilac. At least Miss... Hermione Granger knew that my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair care products. Good girl."
He winked at her as Marley's stomach turned.
"Um... professor?", she spoke up while also raising her hand, "I don't think that's an appropriate thing to say to a student."
"Noted.", Lockhart responded politely, "The teaching profession is still very new to me, so I'll make sure to take in any and all feedback that is tossed my way. Including from you Miss...", he briefly checked his cheat sheet to look up Marley's name, "...Flurp."
"Verpe.", the Slytherin corrected him to no avail.
"But regardless...", he spoke in a mysterious tone, taking out his elegant wand as he began eyeing the room with an aura of readiness, "...I'm not here to simply make conversation. Be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest of creatures known to wizardkind.", he tapped what looked like an old-timey bird cage covered in a blue cloth, causing whatever was hidden inside to shake violently, "You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room."
For the first time today, ten minutes before the lesson would be over, Harry actually found himself decently invested in what was happening, Marley feeling similarly by the looks of things.
"Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. I must ask you not to scream."
"Oh, he's good at this.", the Slytherin girl said to herself.
"Because screaming... might... PROVOKE THEM!"
With showmanship levels akin to a circus director, he pulled off the blue cloth, revealing several little, blue manlets with insectoid wings, no fur or feathers, gigantic, black eyes that went along with their dastardly grins. This obviously scared no one, having quite the opposite effect as both Harry and Marley let out a disappointed sigh.
"Cornish Pixies?", Seamus asked in a humoured tone.
"Freshly caught.", Lockhart proudly presented himself and his creatures, which hurried around frantically in their cage, either way too small for it or the beasts were on speed. Seemingly at the mention of the species, Leaghon made himself visible to the class for a second, disappearing rather abruptly back into his locket once it spotted the more aggressive animals.
"I see that Miss Hurt has a Pixie of her own.", Lockhart pointed at her with his wand a bit too nonchalantly.
"Verpe. And he's actually a Teutoburg Pixie, or Continental Pixie. They're distant cousins of the Cornish. And far less troublesome from what I've read."
All of her friends seemed impressed alongside the rest of class. Hermione looked like she was hiding her jealousy at the fact that Marley was able to impress their handsome professor more than her earlier.
"Very good. I'd say knowledge of that kind deserves to be rewarded.", the man proudly announced, "How does 10 points to Ravenclaw sound?"
"But I'm... Slytherin."
Before their exchange could continue Seamus made some mocking remark about the Pixies to Neville, the two of them and a few others chuckling loud enough for Lockhart's ego to take note of it.
"Laugh if you will, Mr. Finnigan.", he mocked the 12-year-old, Marley openly frowning at Lockhart getting someone else's name right, "But Pixies can be devilish little buggers, tricky to handle even by a skilled wizard. Let's see what you make of them."
No one in the room was even able to comprehend what took place within the span of about two seconds, their reckless teacher for some reason opening the cage and filling the room with a swarm full of creatures wreaking havoc, tossing over books, destroying wall decorations left there by Quirrell, pulling at peoples hair, and doing just about anything you'd imagine from an army of flying troublemakers.
"Not so fun anymore, are they?", he owned the child far younger than him, "Come on, round them up! They're only Pixies!"
Two of them began grabbing a helpless Neville by both of his ears, the boy starting to ascend slowly within the blue cacophony of buzzing.
"Get me down!", he cried out to his fellow students, most of which were beginning to flee the classroom. Hermione was dealing with a singular Pixie trying to pull out her hair while Marley was fighting off a gnarly trio trying to grab Leaghon, the girl using her bare hands for what was honestly a very brutal brawl. Seeing as Harry was also busy and the two most capable witches were occupied, Ron took out a dark, short rental wand and aimed it at the duo currently kidnapping Mr. Longbottom.
"Petrificus Totalus!", he shouted, the translucent beam of energy taking a sharp, right turn and shattering a ceramic vase with a rather comical sound effect attached.
"Bollocks!", the boy shouted, in part also because none of the Pixies deemed him important enough to bother, apparently.
"Get off me!", Hermione howled as she was unable to deal with the blue devil, Harry picking up the largest novel written by Lockhart and taking aim.
"Hold still!", the boy shouted shortly before swatting the creature like a baseball player.
"Peskipiksi Pesternomi!", Lockhart spoke as he waved around his wand in a rather silly fashion. If that even was a spell, it did bloody nothing, allowing a small group of Pixies to steal the man's magic tool and cause even more havoc, breaking the chain from a dragon's skeleton for example, the whole thing crashing down and shattering like Legos.
"Yee-ha!", one Pixie shrieked like an evil Mogwai, riding the skeletal remains in a cowboy fashion.
A quick recap – Harry just helped Hermione with blunt violence, Marley was still fighting three Pixies on her own, Ron's wand was essentially useless, Neville had been hooked by his coat to the chandelier, everyone else was gone.
"Alright.", an exhausted Lockhart gasped as he ran up the stairs, spotting four students standing a chance against the creature feature, "I'll ask you three to follow Miss Chirp's lead and put the rest of them back into their cage!", was the last thing they heard before the man bravely escaped into his office.
"What do we do now?", Ron whined, apparently taking the... uh... lead? As Hermione was freed from her attacker, she finally felt at liberty to take out her own wand, aiming it roughly at the centre of the room, coincidentally towards a dangling Neville.
"Immobulus!", the young witch pronounced with a quick sharpness, finally causing most of the Pixies to freeze midair, blinking in their frozen state as if drugged with horse tranquilizer.
"Good job, Hermione.", Ron spoke, putting away his rental wand, "I think it's only Marley's Pixies now-"
"INCENDIO!", came exploding from behind them, a fire blast erupting from Marley's wand and knocking out three, charred gremlins. For a few more seconds the Slytherin was breathing with her whole body, her face expressing just as much heated fury as the flame she just conjured.
"This is SO much worse than Herbology!", she added with clear spite, checking on Leaghon as Harry's jaw dropped, having not seen any of his friends perform this level of magic before, even if Hermione was the one to deal with the majority of critters beforehand.
While all of this was happening and the quartet began calming down, Neville, still hanging from the classroom's chandelier, let out a tired exhale.
"Why is it always me?"
"You should get a different rental, Ron.", Hermione scolded her friend as the three were seated in a smaller courtyard, eagerly awaiting the arrival of Gryffindor's Quidditch team, Harry's triad of friends invited to observe this year's try-outs. Usually, non-Gryffindors weren't really allowed to watch, especially someone from Slytherin, though after Harry had successfully convinced their captain Oliver Wood of the girl's non-partisan sportsmanship, she was allowed to join as a rare exception.
"I don't want to get a different wand. This one's already a rental.", he protested in a nagging tone, "McGonagall's gonna think I'm stupid."
With a huff of frustration, she turned to Marley on her left, the girl having dug herself into the actual year two Defence Against the Dark Arts reading material.
"Can you help me out here, please?"
"Hermione is of course right. But Ronald's not gonna get a new one until this one blows up in his own face."
"Thank you!", the Weasley proclaimed, Hermione crossing her arms as she grunted.
"First Professor Lockhart, now this.", the girl criticized her company, "Since when are you two on the same page? Usually Marley agrees with me."
"I do.", the Slytherin spoke with her eyes glued to the page on stunning spells, "But you're wrong on Lockhart."
"The guy's a fraud!", Ron accused his friend's sweetheart.
"He's not! He's more of a man than you!", Hermione, weirdly passionate, defended the man.
"Fraud or not...", Marley spoke as the mediator, finally removing her gaze from the literature, "...as a teacher, he's bonkers. Whatever qualifications he may have in book sales or magazines, he has no idea what he's doing in a classroom.", she added a sigh and with it, a personal note, "I was really looking forward to Defence against the Dark Arts. I read about everything I got my hands on all summer. And what do we get?"
"Flying Gremlins.", Ron added to her point. It seemed to get Hermione to agree, though the girl mostly raised an eyebrow at the answer.
"How do you know what a Gremlin is, Ron?", she inquired with a hint of a smirk.
"Marley told me. Some famous movie from the 80s."
"Some famous movie, indeed, Sir Ronald.", Marley underlined with a more pronounced smile.
"Look everyone, it's Slytherin's most famous traitor.", a shrill voice sounded rather suddenly. The three turned to a sort of bizarro version of their own constellation, the short, black-haired Pansy Parkinson with her sharp nose and even sharper eyes glaring at our heroes, Crab and Goyle like gorilla bouncers to her left and right. Both Ron and Hermione passed on a glance of support before Marley rose from her seat, hugging her tome as she looked at her fellow Slytherins with caution.
"What did you call me?"
"I know for a fact you're out here waiting for your darling Potter to fall off his broomstick again.", she began, immediately on the offense as Marley was angered right away, "But I also know for certain that you won't be seeing anything like it."
"And why is that, Pansy?", Marley curiously wondered.
Just as she asked the question, two different-coloured Quidditch teams entered the courtyard from two different directions.
"I don't believe it...", they all clearly heard Oliver Wood and his Gryffindors step closer, a confrontation with Slytherin team now inevitable as Team Pansy and Team Marley were close boy, the latter sharing a quick smile as Harry felt tensions brewing.
"Where do you think you're going, Flint?", Oliver addressed the rival captain, first name Marcus.
"Quidditch practice.", the Slytherin boy responded mildly cocky, though not nearly as provocative as Pansy was earlier.
"I booked the pitch for Gryffindor today."
"Easy Wood.", came back in a more northern English accent, "I've got a note."
He showcased said note, namely a scroll, in a very nonchalant fashion, his fellow teammates coming off as way nastier about the whole thing than Flint himself.
"Uh-oh.", Ron declared a few meters away, "I smell trouble."
He, Hermione, and the blokes walked up to the encounter first, Marley and Pansy joining once some glares of mutual dislike were exchanged.
Meanwhile, Oliver Wood read the note out loud, holding the page a bit further away from his face, giving off the impression like the boy needed glasses.
"'I, Professor Severus Snape, do hereby give the Slytherin team permission to practice today, owning to the need to train their new... Seeker.", he removed his focused eyes and looked upon the captain opposite of him, "Who's your new Seeker?"
Now smirking more pronounced, Flint stepped aside as he revealed the way shorter Draco Malfoy, presenting himself not as confidently as he did so in the past, though the surprise was still rather effective.
"Malfoy?", Harry asked, less so angered and more so surprised in a neutral fashion. It's not like he particularly liked the blonde kid, after all, his current friendship only pertained to Marley, her and the other five since having joined the encounter.
"I trained a lot over the summer.", Draco spoke somewhat quietly, weighing his options on how much he would like to confront Harry in the presence of Marley.
"Apparently that's not all that's new.", Pansy correctly surmised with crossed arms, getting everyone's focus on Slytherin team's new brooms.
"Those are Nimbus 2001s!", Ron spoke in awe, "How did all of you get one?"
"A gift from Draco's father.", Flint began to brag, the present Malfoy only mildly nodding as he kept his pride in check.
"I'm happy for you, Draco.", Marley made herself known, attempting once again to be the bridge between two opposite parties, "You and Harry are both players of equal talent. I'm sure any match between Gryffindor and Slytherin will be exciting."
Slytherin's Seeker seemed happy at her input while Gryffindor's came off as slightly jealous.
"Oh, keep your both-sides bollocks in check, Verpe.", Pansy sighed as she redirected everyone's attention towards herself, "We're all sick of your shtick where you pretend to be impartial to us all. Clearly you're on Gryffindor's side, and it's clearly only because you're in love with Potter."
A few different reactions of varying unease, most of the older students coming off as mildly uncomfortable. Notably though, Harry briefly took on a blushing red while Marley turned crimson rage.
"Say that again, Pansy.", she barked through gritted teeth, dropping her book with a dull thud. It seemed whatever minor disagreement both teams had about scheduling appointments now transferred onto two girls about to rip each other apart. One quick look shared between Oliver and Marcus was all it needed for both captains to pull away one girl each.
"Alright...", the more communicative Gryffindor captain spoke, "...let's not let anything happen here today."
"Look at that.", Pansy practically spat out as they now stood somewhat removed from each other, "She only listens to another Gryffindor. Typical Verpe."
"Why don't you stay out of her business, Parkinson?", Hermione finally stepped in, her voice far less confrontational than Marley's.
"Why don't you stay out of mine, mudblood?"
Though Harry wasn't aware of it, a grave injustice was committed with the utterance of that word. Hermione turned pale, Crab and Goyle were gawking like chimpanzees, Pansy was grinning, Marley covered her mouth, Malfoy's eyes widened, and Ron was overcome with a bitter, never-ending flood of fury.
"You'll pay for that!", the Weasley boy exclaimed, his wand raised, aiming for Pansy Parkinson.
Unfortunately, it was only Marley who remembered his wand's earlier malfunctioning. And she was the only one to realize that she stood at the exact same angle that destroyed a vase earlier.
"Wait, Ron – wait-wait-wait-"
"Eat Slugs!"
A green shimmer was emitted from his tool, its aim to hit the nasty Slytherin girl and curse her with unspeakable horrors. However, the incantation flew roughly at a 35-degree-angle, punching Marley straight in the gut and causing her to drop onto soft lawn. The remaining Slytherins began howling at her misfortune, even the previously less involved teammates. Malfoy remained the only one to do nothing except avert his gaze.
"Marley, I am so sorry!", Ron panicked as her friends rushed to her aid, Hermione and Harry getting the girl to sit up as the Weasley boy looked like he was about to melt into a puddle of pure shame.
"It's fine...", she said, sounding and looking sick to the core, "...I think you only hit my stom- EURGH!"
Her last syllable was devoured quite aggressively by a massive, brown slug that came spitting from her mouth, landing on the grass in front of her and commencing its slow escape, the laughter of Pansy and the others still heard in the back.
"Oh no.", she whined, already feeling the next snail coming up.
A familiar flash of light briefly annoyed them all further, Harry now the most enraged by the presence of Colin Creevy.
"Wow! That's so gross! Can you turn her around, Harry?"
While the question was quite innocent and carried some journalistic neutrality, seeing his vulnerable friend exposed like this made the Boy who lived briefly flare up with rage.
"No, Colin, get OUT of the way!", he barked at him with more vigour than he himself had anticipated, the blonde reporter jumping aside as he hugged his item like a scared chihuahua. Having helped the sick girl to her feet, Harry and Hermione stabilized her walk while Ron still stood frozen in shame, Oliver Wood the only one who remembered to pick up Marley's book. Before Harry was allowed to continue, the girl barfed up yet another slug.
"Let's take her to Hagrid. He'll know what to do."
A short walk and five slugs later the quartet found itself inside Hagrid's hut, Marley and Harry seated on a short bench with a whole array of cages and creatures dangling above their heads. They very much liked the half-giant, but his home did always smell like a crowded zoo.
"This calls for a specialist's equipment.", Hagrid declared somewhat jokingly as he handed Marley a plain bucket, Harry sitting next to her not yet having taken his arm off her back/shoulder, "Nothing to do but wait till it stops."
Just as he gave his diagnosis, the girl regurgitated another slug, the thing dropping into the bucket with a gross plunging sound. At the very least Marley was surrounded by her friends, Harry's soft backrubs and his loving expression providing the most effective support. She briefly thought back to her fight with Pansy, though any thought process collapsed in on itself as the second bucket snail popped from her mouth.
"I'm so disgusting...", the girl moaned in a flat tone.
"Better in than out.", Hagrid tried to reassure her.
"Again, I am so sorry, Marley.", Ron once again pleaded with her, the boy showing himself from his most vulnerable side yet.
"It's okay Ronald.", the Slytherin spoke in a weakened tone, "You didn't do it on purpose. You were trying to hit Pansy."
"Pansy?", Hagrid groaned as descended into his overly large armchair, "Pansy Parkinson? The Slytherin girl?"
"Yes.", Harry quietly confirmed, taking his eyes off Marley for a second to look over to a standing Gryffindor girl, "She called Hermione... well... I don't... I don't know exactly what it means."
Throughout their transfer over to Hagrid's, the girl had been consistently looked completely upset, more so charged with emotion than the guilt-written Weasley. Hugging herself and with a slight shakiness in her voice, Hermione finally turned around to the room.
"She called me a mudblood."
Hagrid's rather overt gasp gave Harry even more of a clear picture of how severe the word was. He waited for Marley to release another slug before daring to ask.
"What's a mudblood?"
"It means 'dirty blood'.", the young witch spoke with pronounced emotion and slightly teary eyes, "Mudblood's a really foul name for someone who is Muggle-born, someone with non-magic parents, like me.", she took a brief pause to play down her distress, "It's not a term one usually hears in civilized conversation."
Her rant having subsided, the girl sat down next to Marley on the very edge of the bench, the Slytherin girl quietly scoffing at the whole situation.
"See, the thing is, Harry...", Hagrid began to explain as he leaned forward in his chair, "...there's some wizards, like Pansy Parkinson apparently, who think that they're better than everyone else, because they're what people call 'pure-blood'."
Disgusted to learn of magic racism, Harry felt almost as sick as the witch sitting next to him.
"That's horrible.", he simply added.
"My parents think like that.", Marley was able to get out before another puke slug underlined her point, all but Ron shocked to hear of this news.
"They do?", Hagrid inquired further with a raised eyebrow, "Haven't too much about the Verpe family, to be honest."
Marley's answer was nodding and signalling for Ron to do the talking, the boy quickly picking up on her non-verbal cue.
"Marley got a letter from her parents after we... crashed dad's car.", he cleared his throat before continuing, "They don't want her to be friends with us, apparently. According to them my family are a bunch of... 'm-word lovers'."
Already in turmoil, Hermione's world flipped all the way around upon learning this information.
"Which is stupid because dad's a squib.", Marley spoke as she worked through her dizziness, "Technically I'm a half-bl- EURGH!"
Another slug presented itself as the girl let out the most annoyed of sighs.
"Never mind.", she mumbled.
"Sorry for asking so much but... what's a squib?"
"Wizards and witches that are either born without magical abilities, or they lose them at some point in their life, like Mr. Filch.", Hermione explained before turning to Marley in a more compassionate tone, "I'm so sorry to hear that your parents are that much against you."
"You're kidding me.", Marley chuckled with depleted energy, "I'm sorry they think about all of you that way. It's not fair."
"It's disgusting.", Ron added in a harsh tone.
"And codswallop to boot!", Hagrid finally made a point, coming off as quite energetic, " 'Dirty blood'...", the large man grumbled, "Why, there isn't a wizard alive that isn't half-blood or less. More to the point, they've yet to think of a spell that our Hermione can't do."
He gestured for the girl to come closer, her tears of upset transforming into warm, happy ones as the bearded man grabbed her tiny hand with both of his massive paws.
"Don't you think on it for one minute. Ay?"
She nodded, feeling some weight coming off her shoulders.
Just as this sombre moment was taking place, the sound of yet another slug escaping Marley's jaw ruined it somewhat.
"Oh God...", Marley complained as she began to sob just slightly, Harry pulling her closer towards himself as he used his Quidditch outfit's sleeve to wipe her slimy mouth.
"I swear I'll get another rental.", Ron declared in his jittery state, "I'll do it today."
"For what it's worth.", Hermione giggled as she wiped her own face, "I think it's very brave that you were trying to do that to Pansy. Nice to know you're ready to stand up for me like that."
Ron smirked very strongly as another slug joined its siblings in the bucket.
"I disagree somewhat.", Marley barfed up as Harry smiled, seldom disappointed by the girl's wit.