Girl's night out. Always fun and giggles until you get too drunk and the night goes south.
She had fun, yes. Her and Rachel had downed far too many drinks, but it didn't matter. After all, Harvey was footing the bill. His corporate card had been swiped more times than she could count.
"Mr. Specter. It's Jacob from the police station."
Harvey squinted at the clock, it was nearly 1 a.m. and he was finally about to go to sleep after working all night. It was late for a call unless something was urgent. Jacob had been his ally since the DA days, he always had Harvey's back. And so did Harvey, especially when he needed help with some tricky family business issues. If Jacob was calling now, it had to be serious.
"Hey, man. What's up? It's a bit late for a chat."
"Yeah, I know, sorry to bother you," Jacob replied quickly. "But we've got someone here… Harriet Specter."
"Harriet who?" Harvey asked, his confusion evident.
Jacob hesitated for a moment. "I wasn't sure at first, but when they brought her in, I noticed her last name. I thought maybe she was your sister."
Harvey frowned. "I only have a brother, and he lives in Boston."
"Gotcha. Well, to be fair, she doesn't look anything like you. Red hair, pale skin… nothing like you at all. Sorry for the mix-up," Jacob said, his voice apologetic. "Goodnight."
"Wait, hold on. Red hair? A little shorter than me? Probably in a fancy, blue dress?" Harvey asked, a sudden realization hitting him.
"Yeah, that sounds about right. How do you know?"
"Her name's not Harriet Specter," Harvey said with a sigh. "It's Donna."
"Who's Donna?"
"My secretary," Harvey muttered, rubbing his temples. He paused, a growing concern settling in. "What did she do?"
Jacob paused for a moment before responding. "Well, she got arrested. She tried to break into the Ice Cream Factory, claiming she 'needed Chunky Monkey like she needs air,' her words."
Harvey couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Is this a joke? She bribed you into mocking me, didn't she?"
"No, man, I swear," Jacob replied. "She's completely wasted. You should see her, she's a handful, trying to steal one of the officer's handcuffs right now."
"Is she okay?" Harvey asked, standing up and grabbing his jacket. "Did she hurt herself?"
"She seems fine. Well, as fine as someone who's a little out of it can be. Honestly, she's having a good time."
Harvey groaned, already heading for the door. "I'm on my way. Please, for the love of God, try to stop her from making things worse."
After a quick cab ride, Harvey arrived at the station. He rushed, walking toward Jacob's desk.
"Where is she?"
"She's in the holding cell," Jacob replied, standing up. "She's a lot calmer now. We gave her some water. She's good, though."
"The holding cell?" Harvey asked, incredulous. "Was that really necessary?"
Jacob leaned in, speaking in a hushed tone. "We had to, man. Let's just say it wouldn't have been fair to the other people here if we didn't. Don't worry, though. We didn't register her. You can take her home whenever you're ready."
Harvey's mind raced as he followed Jacob to the holding area. There, sitting on a bench with a cup of water in her hand, was Donna. She was still in the same blue dress she'd worn earlier at work, but now it was slightly wrinkled, and her makeup had long since smudged. Her expression was a strange mix of confusion and amusement as she looked up at Harvey, blinking slowly.
"Prince Charming comes in and saves the day," she slurred, grinning widely.
Harvey glanced at his watch. "It's 1:30 a.m.," he corrected, his voice laced with a hint of exasperation.
She rolled her eyes at him. "Yeah, same thing."
Harvey studied her for a moment, still standing a few feet away. He hadn't expected to find her like this. Jacob had warned him, but seeing Donna in this state was something else. He'd always known she liked her drinks, but he'd never seen her so wasted.
He sighed and sat down next to her, leaning back against the cool metal bench. She was slurring her words, and her face flushed with the effects of too much alcohol. He tried not to laugh. She was a mess, but an endearing one.
"Hi," she giggled.
"Hi," he echoed, his voice tinged with amusement. "Well, that's quite the mess. Here you are, in jail."
"I knooooow," she drawled, her voice dragging on. "I've been a bad girl, I fear."
Harvey raised an eyebrow, unable to hold back his amusement. "Yeah, pretty irresponsible."
He struggled staying serious, she was so drunk and she looked like she could barely understand what was going on. This whole situation was hilarious.
"You know, I've always thought you would be the one bailing me out of jail, not the other way around," he added.
"How the tables have turned!" she shouted, punching him on the shoulder.
"Hey, lower your voice," he admonished gently, raising his hand to gesture for quiet. "Are you even aware of why they arrested you?"
Her gaze wandered around the small room as she tried to remember, and then her face lit up with recognition. "… 'Cause I wanted ice cream, that's why," she declared with exaggerated indignation. "So rude of them to arrest me! I wanted ice cream, Harvey!"
Harvey blinked in disbelief, trying to keep his tone serious despite the ridiculousness of it all.
"You tried to break into the Ice Cream Factory," he said slowly, a small chuckle escaping. "And when they stopped you, you told them to 'get lost.' Are you insane?"
Donna rolled her eyes dramatically, clearly feigning offense. Harvey shook his head, trying to suppress the grin threatening to spread across his face. She was just so Donna, even when she was completely hammered.
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry."
"Nah, you're not."
"What happens now, uh? Are you going to call a lawyer?" he added, mocking her.
Jacob didn't register her, no charges were pressed against her. So that means she was free to go and she definitely didn't need a lawyer. But she didn't know this yet, so Harvey just took the chance to mess with her.
"You're my lawyer."
"Oh, am I? You know I'm a really expensive one, right?"
"No biggie, you're my friend I'm sure you'll do it pro bonus," she replied, struggling to get the right words out.
"It's pro bono, not bonus, Donna. Damn, you're so drunk."
She blinked a couple of times before bursting into laughter again, her head tilting back as she let out a delighted giggle. "I really am," she said, leaning into him, her head resting on his shoulder.
Harvey softened, his smile fading just a little. "You're a mess," he muttered, though there was no real anger in his voice.
She looked up at him, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "I'm your mess to handle now," she replied, giving him a teasing smile.
He couldn't help but chuckle, even though part of him was worried about her. She was usually so on top of things, and seeing her so out of control was… strange. Still, he couldn't be mad. Not when she was acting so ridiculous.
"You know," he said, trying to keep his tone light, "I'll have to fire you now. Harvey Specter can't have a criminal as a secretary."
Donna gasped in mock horror. "Well, it's only fair," she said dramatically. "A famous and esteemed lawyer like you can't have a convicted secretary. I understand."
Harvey laughed, shaking his head. "How many drinks did you and Rachel have tonight?" he asked, still finding it hard to believe what he was witnessing. "And where is Rachel, anyway?"
Donna blinked, trying to focus. "We took the same cab," she began, her words slightly slurred. "We dropped off at her apartment."
"And why didn't you ask the driver to take you to your place?" Harvey pressed, genuinely curious.
"Because I wanted ice cream!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "We didn't have anything to eat, and I was hungry!"
Harvey blinked. "Wait, you drank that much on an empty stomach?"
She saw her nodding.
"You're an idiot."
Donna nodded vigorously, then immediately winced as if realizing what she'd just done. "I'm an idiot," she admitted with a laugh. "I might actually feel sick now."
"Okay, this is not funny," Harvey said, his voice turning more serious. "We need to get you out of here before you make a mess."
"But they arrested me!" she protested, clearly still in disbelief.
"They didn't press any charges," Harvey reassured her, standing up and offering his hand. "You're free to go."
Donna's eyes widened as she processed this information. "Then why the hell did I have to sit in this dirty holding cell?"
"Because you're a danger to society," Harvey quipped, smirking as he helped her to her feet.
They started walking, Harvey made sure to be close to her in case her legs gave way. She was a little unstable but he was impressed at her balance considering the state she was into. Then, suddenly, he stopped in front of the bathroom and so did she.
"Do you need to use the bathroom before we leave?" he asked, his voice filled with concern as he eyed her carefully.
Donna shook her head. "No, I'm fine," she said, but her unsteady stance made him doubtful.
"Donna, are you really sure? Because once we step foot out of here you're not allowed to throw up until we're home," he told her, trying to be as serious as he could.
"You're so bossy," she grumbled, almost losing her balance.
Harvey gently placed his hands on her shoulders to steady her. He looked her in the eyes with complete seriousness. "I'm serious. We're getting a cab, and you are not throwing up in it."
Donna gave him an exaggerated pout, but after a moment of looking at him with wide, puppy-dog eyes, she gave a dramatic sigh. "Fine, fine. I promise I won't vomit."
"We'll see."
The cab ride had gone smoothly for the most part, though there were random moments when Donna would burst into laughter for no apparent reason or flirt with the driver. But as they stepped into the elevator, Harvey noticed a shift in her demeanor. She wasn't as lively as before, her face had gone pale, and she looked clammy.
"Everything okay?" Harvey asked, leaning closer, his voice laced with a touch of amusement. He knew she'd regret this crazy night sooner or later.
Donna rubbed her forehead and briefly closed her eyes, trying to shake off the discomfort.
"Yes, I'm fine," she replied, but her voice didn't sound as convincing as she hoped.
"You look like you're about to pass out. Or throw up. Or maybe both at once," Harvey commented, grabbing her hand and gently guiding her toward the apartment.
They barely made it in front of the kitchen counter before it happened. "I told you I'm…"
But she couldn't finish the sentence, she doubled over and gagged loudly.
"Jesus Christ," Harvey said, half concerned, half amused by all of this. "We need to get you to the bathroom right now."
The next half hour was a blur of Donna struggling to keep it together. She spent more time with her head over the toilet than anywhere else.
"This is hell," she managed to croak, looking miserable.
"Lesson learned, right? No more shenanigans on an empty stomach," he commented, one hand holding her hair out of the way and the other rubbing her back.
"The last thing I need right now is a life lesson, Harvey."
Before she could say anything else, her stomach churned again, and she leaned over the toilet once more.
"C'mon, let it out, you'll feel better."
He helped her out of her dress and into one of his oversized t-shirts, all while she continued to heave. Despite the situation, Harvey couldn't help but think she still looked cute. Disheveled, but still Donna.
"Thank you."
"For the t-shirt?"
"No," she replied, shaking her head slightly. "For not making me deal with this on my own."
"It's not every day I get to watch you lose control like this," Harvey grinned, unable to resist teasing her.
"You're enjoying this? Really, Harvey?" Donna groaned.
"I would never enjoy watching you suffer," he replied, his tone dripping with sarcasm.
Though, if he was being honest, there was something oddly amusing about the whole situation, not the vomiting part, of course, but the craziness of it all.
"You're awful," she mumbled, looking at him weakly before turning back toward the toilet for another round.
He held her hair again, but this time, he couldn't suppress a little laugh. "But I'm your Prince Charming."
"Liar," she muttered between dry heaves. "You're enjoying this. I can see it in your eyes."
Harvey grabbed a towel, soaked it with cold water, and gently wiped her face. Her exhaustion was visible, both in her eyes and in the way she slouched against him.
"C'mon, princess. Let's get you to bed," he said, trying to help her up.
Donna swayed dangerously when he let her go, so Harvey immediately wrapped his arm around her waist to keep her steady.
"Jesus, Donna. Can you even walk?" he laughed.
"Stop making fun of me," she whined.
"I'm sorry, but I can't help it."
"I hate you," she muttered, her voice barely audible.
"No, you don't," Harvey shot back, his tone soft but teasing.
"I don't know what's happening to me," she sighed, her body leaning into him as if she needed support.
"You're drunk as hell, that's what's happening," Harvey said, wrapping his arms around her.
He wasn't sure if she was clinging to him because she didn't realize what she was doing or because she genuinely needed comfort, but it didn't matter. All he knew was that she looked so small and vulnerable, and he couldn't help but stroke her back soothingly.
"So, can you walk, or do I have to carry you to bed like a baby?" he teased again.
"You're never going to let me forget this night, are you?" Donna asked, her voice muffled against his chest.
"Never," Harvey grinned, helping her walk toward the bedroom.
He wanted to take her to the guest's bedroom and tuck her in, but she was struggling to walk so much he gave up and made her lie down in his bed. He made sure she was wrapped in his soft and expensive sheet and sat next to her.
"Are you sure you're done being sick?" he asked, sitting next to her.
"I don't know," Donna admitted, her eyes half-closed. "I'm just so tired."
"If you're not sure, then you should sleep on your side," Harvey said, gently trying to move her.
"No," Donna groaned. "I want to sleep on my back."
"You're going to choke on your vomit," Harvey explained, his tone firm but still caring as he tried to move her once again.
Donna just laughed weakly and rolled back onto her back.
"Hey, this isn't funny," Harvey said, trying to get her to cooperate.
But it was pointless, Donna was too far gone, half asleep, and giggling.
"You're so annoying when you're drunk," he grumbled.
"I am not," she shot back with a pout.
Harvey gave up trying to make her lie on her side, clearly realizing that was a battle he couldn't win while she was in this state. He quickly changed into his pajamas, then climbed into bed beside her. He gently rolled her onto her side and wrapped his body around hers, letting her rest her back against his chest.
"What are you doing?" she asked, a little surprised, though she didn't move away.
The warmth of his body and the comfort he provided made her feel safe and calm.
"I'm preventing you from dying," he said matter-of-factly, though his voice held a softness that contradicted the sarcasm.
"Oh, you're so sweet," Donna murmured. "You really are Prince Charming."
"You're right," Harvey said with a grin. "I'm too nice and patient dealing with your drunk ass."
He tucked her hair behind her ear and settled in closer, making sure she was comfortable.
"Just… please, wake me up if you're sick," he said, his tone now filled with genuine concern.
"Okay," she whispered, barely audible, as her eyes fluttered shut. "I'm tired."
"Then shut up and sleep," Harvey replied, holding her even closer.
"Yes, boss," she mumbled sleepily.
"Damn, you're lucky tomorrow is Saturday. You're going to have one hell of a hangover."
He heard her giggle again, then her breathing steadied as she drifted into a deep, peaceful sleep.
Harvey stayed awake for a little while, making sure she was comfortable, but eventually, exhaustion claimed him too, and he fell asleep with Donna safely nestled in his arms.
Just a silly little fic based on the prompt thedarvey shared on X - picked some minor crime so that it was more believable they didn't press charges against her lol
Hope y'all enjoy, you should know by now I love to write silly nonsense things lol