16
CHAPTER 16 – WHERE THE THREADS ENTWINE
The sprawling graveyard stretched across the academy grounds, looking every bit as dilapidated as the ruined shell of Trabia Garden itself. Debris and shrapnel littered the scorched earth. What accounted for headstones were jagged chunks of concrete and metal scavenged from the devastation. The means of identification varied for each, some with a frayed cadet jacket draped over top, others with a weapon propped up against its side or laid on the soil. None were engraved with names or dates.
An eerie air permeated the grounds; the overcast sky shrouded all with a gloomy, drab ambiance. Save for the familiar five gathered together near one grave, nary a soul stood elsewhere on the premises. One among them was slumped to her knees; the whimsical, curled locks on either side of her hairdo were all that was left of her usual liveliness. Squall had known straight away he would find her there, grieving amid the hastily interred remains of those she'd left behind.
The other four all turned their heads in tandem at his approach. He promptly directed his own attention to Irvine; the six of them were finally together in one place. The sharpshooter casually brought his hand up, seeming to acknowledge that his promised explanation was well overdue. Although the present circumstances were less than ideal, Squall was determined to finally learn whatever it was he'd been keeping from them. That it supposedly related to Ellone was what especially piqued his interest.
His latest vision, the first in more than a month, had in some respects been a welcome surprise. More so than any of the six before it however, its contents had struck a chord with him. Laguna's meeting with the reclusive young woman had brought a strange sense of familiarity, a niggling feeling he simply couldn't place. Perhaps it was the former soldier's own emotions he'd been feeling, just as he was able to read his thoughts each time. And yet, even after he'd awoken, the mysterious longing had remained burning in his heart.
She… she looked kind of like…
"What's the word from the commandant?" Quistis asked.
He stalled in his thoughts, realizing he'd been too caught up in his daydreaming.
"Arrangements have been made to bring aboard all the wounded we can. Galbadia Garden has been sighted due northwest on the continent. It's expected to start moving this way any day now. We're to make our stand here, Balamb and Trabia together."
"So, this is it, huh?" Zell muttered. With both hands in his pockets, he absentmindedly kicked away at the dirt beneath his feet. "The big one. The fight we've been waiting our whole lives for."
"Looks that way," Squall agreed. He brought his hand to rest atop the nearest headstone. "The future of the world falls to us. We need to be sure we're all ready to face this head on, without any regrets. So… if there's anything anyone here needs to get off their chest, now's the time to do it."
The leading statement was as much directed to Irvine as Selphie. It was the downtrodden girl who responded first, however. She slowly rose from her knees, and turned towards Squall. Her eyes were puffy and red, the tears still yet to fully dry from either cheek.
"Count me in," she affirmed with a sniffle. She brought her arm up to wipe away the watery trails. "I've made my peace. It's time to finish this. I promise… I'm gonna pay them backtenfoldfor what they've done here."
"Damn straight," Zell said. He withdrew his hands from his pockets, and pounded his right fist into his left palm. "I don't care what it takes, I'm not stopping 'till I get my hands on Seifer. And when I do, I'm gonna give him every bit of what he's got coming to him."
Squall could tell he truly meant it. His only objection came from his own desire to put Seifer in his place, personally.
"Um," Rinoa spoke up; her eyes were lowered to the ground. "I know we might be in a little too deep to be saying this now, but… do we really have to fight?"
"Huh?" Zell whipped his head around to her. "Where the heck's this coming from, all of a sudden?"
"I just mean, isn't there some other way? So there doesn't have to be any more bloodshed like this?"
"I wish there was, Rinoa," Quistis sympathized. "But I just don't see how that's possible at this stage. You said it yourself, we're in too deep to back out now."
"But that doesn't mean we shouldn't at least try to figure something out, does it? What do you think, Squall?"
All eyes suddenly landed on him. Squall averted his own. There was nothing he could say that Quistis hadn't already. Moreover, it boggled his mind that such a suggestion was coming from Rinoa of all people; her determination to see Galbadia defeated in Timber had been tremendous.
Why this, all of a sudden? What does she expect from me?
"Squall, you have to voice your feelings, or else we won't understand."
"You… were part of a resistance movement," he began. "The only one in all of Timber that was still active, right? You and your comrades stuck to your guns, and kept up the fight, even when every other faction had gone underground. Because it was something you believed was worth fighting for. You hired SeeD to make that dream a reality. You risked your life that night to help us assassinate the sorceress. You came to me for training, because you were sick of being stuck on the sidelines. And now you're saying all this? What's happened to you?"
She was evidently unprepared for the rebuttal. She turned away, casting her eyes across the gravestones.
"I guess… I'm just scared," she admitted with a quiver in her voice. "These past… almost six weeks I've known you all, you've become like a family to me. I really mean that. I don't know what I'd do if something horrible happened to any of you. I've only made it this far because I believed that as long as I stuck with you guys, things would turn out alright. But now… standing here, in the middle of all this… all these poor students who had their lives snuffed out for no reason…"
She trailed off before coming to her point, though Squall could easily guess what it was. Every one of those buried in the earth beneath their feet had been friends or family to some person or another, and even one standing among them right now. Having witnessed Selphie's own grief at losing her friends, it was obvious Rinoa didn't want to risk losing them as well. He put one foot forward to start over to her, when Irvine swooped in ahead of him. He put his hand on her shoulder.
"We understand, Rinoa," he sought to comfort her; his tone was genuine, and once again rid of its usual twang. "It's scary to think someone you love might never come back, and that you'll be left all alone. Living with that much sadness and longing weighing you down every day is bound to screw anyone up. Especially if it's ever happened to you at a young age."
"My… my mom," she interrupted him; her voice was little more than a whimper. "When I was 5, she…"
"Your dad told us when we met him back in the city. I can't speak from experience, but I'm sure it's much worse when you know for sure that person's gone forever. I won't pretend to know just how painful that must have been. What I do know is that no matter who we've lost, or how, we all come up with our own ways to cope with it."
He removed his hand from her shoulder, and began to amble about the gathered five. He no longer appeared to be speaking to Rinoa in particular.
"Some of us turn bitter, and prone to lashing out at any kind of authority. Because we feel like we've been personally wronged by the world. Others try to hide themselves away, seeking refuge in isolation. Because they're afraid of being hurt so badly again."
The sharpshooter's blue eyes met Squall's at that moment; the stare seemed to pierce right through him to the very depths of his soul. There was clearly more weighing on his mind than giving Rinoa a pep-talk.
"As for me, I came up with my own way to deal with it too, by the time I got put in Galbadia Garden. I started putting on a front. I started making myself out to be something I knew deep down I wasn't: the slick show-off, the kid who thought he was too cool for school, and who everyone wanted to be around. Because they all knew he could back up whatever he dished out. And it worked. The ladies loved me. The rest of the sharpshooter division respected me. And even the guys around campus who couldn't stand my guts, I could tell they were just jealous of how well I had it made. I played the part so convincingly, for so long, that even I started believing it after a while."
"We get it, you thought you were hot shit," Zell grumbled. "Is there a point coming any time soon?"
"Yeah, and it's this: even with all that fame and notoriety, I was still a lonely, miserable wreck underneath it all. Because I knew I was living a lie. I thought I could fill the hole in my heart by surrounding myself with as many people as possible. But I eventually realized it doesn't work that way. All the fawning girls, my fellow sharpshooters, the jealous pricks who'd flash me dirty looks in the halls, none of them knew the 'real' me. All they ever saw was this facade I'd worked so hard to build up. Having 'friends' doesn't mean a whole lot when it's all predicated on a lie, am I right?"
Squall listened to Irvine's confession in breathless silence. He could hardly believe just how uncharacteristically vulnerable he'd made himself to them. This was no longer the laid-back, easygoing cowboy he'd met at Galbadia Garden. And yet, the sincerity in his voice convinced him it wasn't an act.
"But you know… sometimes miracles do happen, after all," he smiled. "Sometimes, against all odds, things do work out in the end, and life hands you another chance at happiness out of the blue. I got mine handed to me that day I strolled on into Headmaster Martine's office, and saw you all standing there. It was a sign that I had to learn to put aside the fake me, to come to terms with myself after so long. But, it sure wasn't easy to just open up to you guys right off the bat. Especially when you four also seemed a bit screwy in the head."
With Irvine's back presently turned to Rinoa, his sweeping finger indicated he meant the four SeeDs.
"What the hell's that supposed to mean?!" Zell blew his top.
"How so?" Quistis furrowed her brow. "And what was so special about meeting us? I'm not following your train of thought here."
"That's because I haven't started explaining it yet," Irvine clarified. With a cheeky grin, he stepped out of the circle, and spun back around to face all of them as a collective. "Gather round everyone, it's story time! And you'd all better listen good, because this has been a long time coming."
It had better be worth all the build-up…
"Once upon a time… I must have been about 4, or so… I was in a little orphanage with a bunch of other kids. It was just a few years after the Sorceress War ended, so I guess there was no helping it. I never knew my parents, or where I'd been brought up before being taken in there. Anyway, that's where I lived for at least a couple years. And out of all the kids there, one was very special to me. A girl, cute as a button, and bursting with energy. It always made me so happy just being around her…"
The wooden door creaked open with a forceful push from Irvine. He re-flattened his feet from his tip-toes, and ducked his head in to survey the kitchen. The dimness inside was broken only by the daylight streaming through the window over the sink. Matron was nowhere in sight. Satisfied, he stepped on through, and shut the door, putting the cackling of the other children in the common area behind him.
He bolted for the first cupboard running along the underside of the counter, and swung it open. There was nothing inside but an assortment of pots and pans. He closed it just as quickly, and continued along the row. He needed to be quick; the kitchen was strictly off-limits without supervision. The punishment he'd face if caught wasn't enough to keep him away, however. Neither did he expect it would be for the girl he was seeking. The moment he pulled open the final cupboard, his suspicions were confirmed.
"Hyaa!"
She shot out, and tackled him onto the hard stone floor. He groaned as they tumbled, coming to a rest once she'd pinned him down by both wrists.
"You're fast!" she smiled. Her pretty green eyes beamed with excitement, even in the dimly-lit kitchen.
"'Cause you're too easy to find, Sefie," he said, fighting to wriggle free. She finally let go, and lifted herself aside.
"Your turn, Irvy! And no picking the same spot like last time! You promised!"
"Okay," he moaned; she'd guessed exactly what he'd been planning. "And you hafta promise you won't hide up in the lighthouse anymore. You know I'm scared of heights!"
"Fine," she pouted; she clearly hadn't planned on sticking to her word either. "But next time I'm picking somewhere really hard! So hard you'll probly quit!"
"No way," he smiled, taking her dainty hand in his. "I don't care where you hide. I'm never ever gonna stop looking for you."
That was the one promise he intended to keep.
"That… that orphanage," Selphie stammered; her face had gone pale and wide-eyed. "It was a big stone building… by the ocean… with a lighthouse…"
"And right next to a huge field of flowers," Quistis cut in. Her own expression looked no less stunned than the girl's. "Right?"
"Bingo," Irvine smiled back. "It's about time. I was a little worried the memories would be completely gone by this point."
Squall's pursed lips parted, leaving his mouth hanging agape. That he'd personally borne witness to such a place through Laguna's eyes, exactly as described, was shocking enough. That Irvine spoke of it now, only to be corroborated by not just one, but two of the others, was flabbergasting.
What the hell's going on?!
"Hold up!" Zell jumped in. "What're you three talking about? Are you saying you all knew each other as kids?"
"I… I don't remember much," Quistis muttered. She shut her eyes in concentration. "But I do vaguely recall living in a house like that, with many other kids. It was on a small island, somewhere… with a huge flower garden out front, and a lighthouse in the back, down on the beach. And I remember… fireworks! That's right, we all snuck out and set off fireworks one night, didn't we?"
Quistis' heart leapt into her throat as she saw sparks fly from the fuse. Irvine jerked away from the ignited firecracker, dropped the lit match onto the sand, and ran for cover. The flickering popped out from the long shadow cast by the lighthouse. It hissed all the while as it traced its way along the wick. Finally, the rocket zoomed upward at tremendous speed, soaring high above all else on the shoreline. She watched breathlessly as it climbed towards the stars, and burst with a raucous bang. Their cheers followed as emerald green light washed over the beach.
"Awesome!" Irvine yelped from nearby.
"C'mon, c'mon!" Selphie squealed impatiently. "Let's do it again!"
Another of the boys had already stuck the next rocket into the sand. With a stroke against the box in his hand, the match sprang to life.
"I'm telling!"
The shriek came from up on the overlooking hill. Quistis turned to peer back up along the sandy trail to the house. A small blonde-haired boy came tearing down at top speed, waving his arms frantically.
"You're all gonna get in so much trouble!" he followed up.
She opened her mouth to respond, when the rocket's lift-off stole her attention again. The second firework followed almost the same path as the first. It exploded high in the sky with a burst of crimson red. Despite its volume, the meddling tattle-tale kept racing to the bottom as fast as he could.
"You stole those!" he yelled as he slowed to meet them. "Matron's gonna be so mad!"
"Crybaby Zell!" the boy who'd lit the second firework mocked him. "Go back to bed!"
"Shut up, Seifer!" he mewled back. Appropriately, he seemed to be on the verge of tears.
Quistis looked back to the trail, visually tracing its length up to the orphanage. Her heart skipped a beat as she saw a figure in a dark dress come frantically running down to the shore. True to Zell's warning, they would all be in for the most serious punishment they'd ever been served. As Matron's own frenzied wailing reached her ears, she gazed up again to the peak of the hill. Only then did she notice the silent onlooker staring down at them.
The boy stayed fixed to the spot. He'd been invited to join them, but apparently wanted no part of it. Such had been the norm for him lately; any trace of happiness she'd seen before had left along with Sis just a couple of months ago. Quistis truly felt sorry for him. And even as Matron's shrill voice drowned out all else around her, she vowed she would do whatever she could to one day bring that smile out of him again.
"That's ridiculous!" Zell roared, utterly shattering the graveyard's solemnity. "I was never in an orphanage! I've got my ma in Balamb, remember?"
"Obviously, you were adopted," Irvine calmly shot him down. "You were there, same as the rest of us. She remembers it, and so did I, from the moment I walked into Martine's office that day."
"This is bullshit! I was not adopted! And you expect me to believe Seifer was there, too?! You think I wouldn't remember growing up in the same house as him?!"
"It's true," Squall spoke up.
Ludicrous as the entire account ought to have been, there was an undeniable, poignant resonance underneath it all. Even without Quistis and Selphie's testimonies, traces of it were still ingrained in his own memory, foggy and disjointed though they were. He couldn't ignore it any longer.
"What are you saying?!" Zell gaped at him. "Don't tell me you actually buy this crap!"
"It's not a question of whether I believe it. There are too many things… little things that have been stuck in the back of my mind for so long… and in my dreams. It all sounds impossible, but… I remember it, too. We were together there. All of us, except Rinoa."
"You mean…?" the girl egged him on to finish his thoughts.
"Yeah… I was there, too."
"You bet," Irvine confirmed for him. "The gloomy little outsider, who never wanted anything to do with the rest of us. Always waiting for 'Sis' to come back, right?"
His words stabbed through Squall's heart like the icicle he'd taken through his shoulder. His mouth hung open. His mind had ground to a complete halt in an instant. It was then, in that long, agonizing moment of sudden emotional shock, that the memories long buried beneath 13 years of pent up sadness came roaring back all at once.
The boy carefully peeked his head around the doorframe to the sleeping quarters. Despite it being midday, a group of 6 children stood or sat in a roughly formed circle to one side. They were the eldest orphans in the house, all several years older than him. He knew virtually nothing about them; with the age gap came an unspoken rule that their clique and his not intermingle outside of meals and curfew. The girl currently seated on her bed was the one exception.
Besides Matron, she was the mediator between both groups of children, and the boy's dearest confidant. She was wearing a blue button-up dress. Her short brown hair perfectly matched her beautiful eyes. And yet her face, usually so angelic, looked strangely concerned. Eager to find out what was going on, he lowered himself to his hands and knees, and slowly crawled through the door. He hid himself beside the nearest bed, ducked under, and started making his way forward as quietly as he could.
"Don't worry so much!" one of the boys said. "It's gonna be one big adventure for all of us!"
"Let's just hope none of us get seasick," another chimed in.
"I don't know," a third muttered. "I've never been on a boat before."
"So, you were born on this island?"
"You know what I mean!"
The conversation continued as the boy slunk his way underneath the row of beds. His little heart pounded in his chest all the while, feeling like it might be on the verge of rupturing.
"I just don't understand," Sis finally spoke. "Why do we all have to go?"
"Don't tell me you actually wanna stay?" the first boy asked. "We've been stuck here our whole lives. This is our chance to finally get out and see the world."
"Yeah, it's gonna be great! So, let's make sure we're all packed up for tonight, and… hey!"
A set of hurried footsteps stomped across the floorboards. The boy froze in his tracks. Suddenly, a pair of hands grabbed him by the ankles, and yanked him out from under the bed. He screamed as he was hoisted up and held upside down by the elder boy. His shirt followed gravity's course, falling over top his head; it blocked out his sight as he was carried away.
"Aw, shut up, ya little runt!" his captor berated him. He could hear the others chuckling from nearby.
At last, he was dropped on the floor with a hard thud. He quickly pulled his shirt back down, and sat up. He'd been deposited back outside the door. The boy who'd picked him up looked down on him derisively from within the frame. Through the gap in his legs, his eyes briefly met with Sis'; her face looked even more distraught than before.
"Mind your own business, brat!" the older boy scolded him. He slammed the door shut the next moment, leaving him sitting alone in the hallway with tears brimming in his eyes.
That was the last time I ever saw her…
"Hold on… I remember her!" Selphie jumped back into the conversation. "She was a bit older than all of us, wasn't she?"
"That's right," Quistis pensively hummed. "We all used to call her 'Sis', because she was like our big sister around the orphanage. That, and I remember her real name was a bit hard for a lot of us to say properly. What was it again? Something like… 'Ellen'? Or 'Eileen', maybe?"
"Close, but not quite," Irvine smiled knowingly. "Anyone else want to give it a shot?"
His focused stare betrayed exactly who the question was posed to. If nothing else, he was right to expect it of Squall. He ought to have known her name better than any of them. He did, and as he sucked in a breath to prepare himself, he felt a palpable sense of shame wash over him.
"Ellone," he finally exhaled.
"We have a winner," Irvine announced.
"You mean that girl the sorceress is looking for?!" Zell blurted out in disbelief.
"Ellone," Quistis muttered. "That name… wasn't that the girl those SeeDs on the boat came to evacuate from the Garden?"
"Yeah, I think it was!" Rinoa chipped in; being the odd one out, she was clearly happy to get a word in. "I remember Cid's call over the intercom for her. I wonder why she's so important in all this, though. Why would the sorceress be after her?"
"I… don't know," Squall lied; with so many new revelations to dissect, he didn't wish to add another to the growing pile.
"Huh?" Zell raised an eyebrow in his direction. "I thought you said it was because she had some-"
"It doesn't matter!" he cut him off. He turned his focus back to Irvine. "All I want to know right now is why you remember all of this so well, but none of us did. I've known Seifer and Quistis since we were all in primary education, and none of this has ever crossed my mind until now."
"That is strange," Quistis agreed. She began to pace about the nearby headstones. "I know I got sent off to Balamb when I was 10… things weren't working out so well between me and my new family, if I recall. And I do remember you and Seifer caught my interest early on. He was the kid who always needed to be the center of attention, and you'd just keep to yourself, ignoring him and everyone else around. So, he'd always try to pick fights with you, and after a while, you'd snap and try to fight back. And I was the one who usually had to break you two up, like I was your older sister, or…"
She paused, and stopped in her tracks. She remained still for several seconds before turning back to Squall.
"You know… looking back, I never really understood why it was so important to me. But… maybe it's because I was trying to take Sis'… to take Ellone's place. I definitely didn't remember anything about us growing up together until just now, but… I think… back then, I must have. I can't believe it's taken me so long to realize it…"
"Uh, sorry to interrupt," Zell cut in. "But, that still doesn't answer the question. Let's just say that all this about us living together at an orphanage is true. I'm not saying I suddenly remember it or anything, but for the sake of the argument… how is it that all of us except this guy just up and forgot?"
"That's what I've been trying to figure out for more than a month now," Irvine explained. "I've thought it over, long and hard, and I might just have the answer. If you're interested in hearing it."
"We are," Squall spoke for the others.
Baffling as it all was, he was now positive that everything Irvine had told them was true. The sharpshooter turned to him, his eyes steely and focused, and after a moment's hesitation, began.
"That night in the city… when she brainwashed the rest of the crowd, you used the energy from your Guardian Force to ward off her magic, so we didn't end up like them, right?"
"Yeah," Squall affirmed. He didn't understand the correlation. "It was the only thing I could think of. I wasn't even sure it would work."
"I remember when you grabbed me by the neck, and started channeling the energy… there was this sudden rush that went through my head, like it was seeping directly into my mind. Is that how it usually feels whenever you use one of those things?"
"More or less."
"Well, call me crazy, but I feel like pumping that kind of energy into your brain day in and day out might not be the healthiest thing. Who knows what kind of damage it could do up there after a long enough time?"
"You're telling me it's the GF spheres that have been messing with our memories?!" Zell sputtered in disbelief.
"That can't be right," Quistis said. Her eyes were now trained to her own silver sphere in her hand. "There's no way Headmaster Cid would allow students to be trained with these if they could cause a side-effect like that."
"But it wasn't him who gave the go-ahead on GFs in the first place, remember?" Squall reminded her.
The headmaster had already told them it had been through Norg that Balamb Garden had secured the technology from Odine Industries. It would have been easy enough for him and his administration to keep any potential side-effects under wraps. Provided Irvine's hunch was on the mark, Seifer's accusation that Cid had 'brainwashed' the student body made far more sense.
"Think about it," the sharpshooter said. "I've never used one of those before, and my memory's perfectly fine."
"And Seifer's barely ever used his," Squall added. "I'm positive he remembers everything, too."
"He does," Quistis spoke softly. "When we had our standoff at the station in Timber… when he told me I was trying too hard to be like a caretaker to you and him… an 'imitation', he said… it all makes sense now. He must have realized I was still trying to be like Ellone to you both, even when I'd completely forgotten."
"This is the first time I'm hearing about this," Irvine said to her. "But… I don't think that's quite what he meant."
"I still don't buy it," Zell interrupted again. "I think we're forgetting someone here. What about you, Selphie? You just transferred to Balamb this year, right? You'd never used a GF before, so how come-"
"Hold it right there, Zell," Squall shushed him before he could finish. "There's something else we need to clear up, right now."
The petite transfer student in question, who'd been silent for a while now, jerked upright. As Squall took several steps closer, her eyes began to widen. He could tell she already knew exactly what he was about to ask.
"Selphie… I want the truth. How long have you really had that GF for? Where did you get it? And why does it have the Galbadian crest on it?"
Her eyes darted every which way between him and the others; even without turning around, Squall could imagine how shocked they all were. A long pause ensued. She looked to be weighing each and every option, until at last she flashed him an embarrassed look.
"So… you did see," she bashfully grimaced. "That day in the prison, right? I had a feeling you did, but since you never said anything-"
"Just tell me," he sternly reiterated; he'd waited too long for an answer to let her start rambling.
Selphie rummaged through the pocket on her uniform's right fore. She withdrew the sphere, holding it out for all to see. Its bronze casing was just as Squall remembered. It soon gave way to the black Galbadian insignia as she rotated it around with her fingers.
"The fuck?!" Zell roared in awe. The rest of the group fell in just as quickly, each appearing no less stunned by what they were seeing.
"Sorry for keeping it a secret," she apologized. "I was afraid I'd be kicked out of the Garden if anyone found out. But now that it's out in the open, I'll just have to come clean. I did get a normal one like everyone else when I transferred to Balamb. It's been sitting in a drawer in my room ever since. As for this one… I've had it for about 5 years now. It was a gift from… my dad."
"Your dad?" Rinoa repeated, obviously confused.
"Well, adoptive dad, I guess. It's strange… somewhere along the line, I must have forgot about that, too. I don't remember a whole lot before he and my mom decided to move to Trabia with me. I think I was 11, then. We had it pretty well off, nothing extravagant, but it was nice and cozy with just the 3 of us for a little while. And then they decided to enroll me here in the Garden. Believe it or not, I really resented living here at first. It felt like they just dumped me here because they didn't want me around the house anymore. And I guess… maybe it also reminded me of being back at the orphanage. I know now they really just wanted the best for me, but… it was still really hard."
"Are we going to hear about the GF soon?" Squall hinted.
"I'm getting there!" she heatedly assured him. "So, anyway, I still kept in touch with my parents, and got to see them again for the summer, and my 12th birthday. But then a little while after that… my mom came down with a really nasty illness. She was bedridden for weeks, and eventually passed away from it. It was probably the saddest time of my life up to that point. After the funeral, I decided I was going to shape up, and do my best to make her proud. I straight-up told my dad I was going to start studying and training like I never had before, so I could one day transfer to Balamb, and become a SeeD. I meant it. And little by little, I started to warm to this place.
"Then, a few months later, my dad came here to visit me, which was a first. He told me he'd gotten back in touch with an old colleague of his from when we used to live in Galbadia, and that he was going on a trip to meet with him for a while. He said he couldn't tell me where he was going, or for how long, but that he'd keep writing to me for as long as he was away. I didn't think anything of it then. In hindsight, I wish I would have kept pestering him to tell me. Another couple months go by, and I get a package delivered to my dorm room. A big box, with no return address. I open it up, and it's filled with tons of seashells, of all different shapes and sizes, and a note from my dad. One of them was a big conch shell with a hole bored into its side. I took a look, and… well, this is what was in it."
"You can't be serious," Quistis looked her up and down skeptically.
Squall had no idea what to make of the story. There was enough detail and genuine passion in her retelling for it to sound convincing, and yet it was so nonsensical he could hardly believe it himself.
"It sounds crazy, I know, but it's true!" Selphie insisted. She pocketed the sphere again. "I swear. Do you really think I've got any love for Galbadia after what they've done to my home?!"
"I believe it," Zell stepped up for her. "What I'm still trying to wrap my head around is how Galbadia managed to make a GF!"
"You've never asked your dad about this?" Squall followed up; he would play along to see if he could find any holes in her story.
"I… never got the chance," Selphie quietly muttered. She turned her eyes away from him. "He never came back. That package… was the last thing I've gotten from him in 5 years. Even now, I still have no idea whether he's alive or not… and…"
The tears that began spilling down her cheeks were proof enough it wasn't an act. Momentarily at a loss for what he should say next, he was forcefully pushed aside by Irvine the next moment. He swiftly regained his balance as the sharpshooter wrapped Selphie in a tight hug. The girl's own arms encircled him in turn. She buried her head in his chest as she continued to sob.
"It's alright, Selphie," he consoled her. "We all believe you, and we're sorry for making you bring up something so painful. Right, everyone?"
Zell and Rinoa gave their condolences, followed by Quistis. After a short pause, Squall gave his own; for all his suspicion, she'd never shown anything close to a malicious streak.
"There, you see? And besides… if I were a betting man, I'd put my money on your dad still being out there, somewhere, and that you'll meet him again, someday."
"What… what makes you think that?" Selphie sniffled as she withdrew from his arms.
"It's just like I said before: sometimes, miracles do happen. And I have a good feeling we've got fate on our side. It managed to bring all of us back together, against all odds, right? So, what's one more?"
Squall stifled the urge to scoff at Irvine's optimism; as much as he wanted to, Selphie's emotional well-being was the reason he'd come to the cemetery to begin with. The reassurance seemed to lift her spirits. Before he knew it, she'd roped the sharpshooter into another embrace, burying her tear-soaked face into his uniform once again.
"Geez, I feel like Matron all of a sudden," he joked as he put his arms back around her.
"Holy shit!" Zell suddenly exclaimed. "Now there's a name I haven't heard in forever!"
"I thought you didn't remember being in an orphanage?" Quistis cheekily retorted.
"Well… the more we keep going on about it, the more it starts coming together."
"What do you all remember about her?" Irvine asked as he and Selphie released from their second hug.
"She was pretty much always dressed in black," Zell recalled.
"Yes," Quistis agreed. "Long dark hair, very kind and gentle… I really did admire her."
Squall recalled her just as well, and even more so considering his most recent dream courtesy of Ellone. Regardless of his history with her, which in turn shed new light on her selecting him to receive these visions, he'd seen Matron's beautiful features firsthand through Laguna's eyes. There had been a reason for that pang of familiarity after all.
"Anything else?" Irvine continued fishing among them. "A name, maybe? A face? Anyone you know that she might remind you of?"
"Let's see," Selphie hummed. "Gosh, it's been so long, I can barely even picture her face anymore."
"Sorry, can't remember her name or face that well," Zell gave up. "What're you getting at, anyway? What's so important about her-"
"No way…" Squall finally let out a hoarse exhale.
His eyes bulged as he overlaid the two mental images with one another. Her gentle green eyes were nothing like the eerie yellow glare. Neither were her smooth cheeks host to a horrifying network of veins. Absent those two attributes however, and a healthy dose of violet eye-shadow and lip gloss, the two were practically one and the same. Indeed, he now understood they were.
"Someone's figured it out," Irvine quipped.
"That's impossible. It has to be a coincidence."
"It's not. Matron's name was Edea Kramer. There's no getting around it. Matron is Sorceress Edea."
The silence was absolute. Not one of the six dared so much as breathe. Some glanced back and forth between each other in astonishment, while others simply stared into space, barely tethered to reality. Squall vacillated between both; he'd been thoroughly shaken to the core by this one revelation to shame all others. The same woman who'd raised him and his closest comrades as if they were her own children, and who had gone on to establish the very army he was now one step away from commanding, was the bloodthirsty tyrant they now fought against to protect the world's safety.
No wonder Irvine had thought him a monster for ordering him to pull the trigger. Of course, Seifer would be willing to swear his loyalty to her over Cid. And yet, even as the answers to these questions became clear, so many more were raised. Most pressing of all: what could have possibly turned their once benign Matron so far astray?
"I… don't get it," Zell finally broke the silence. "I just don't get it. Why would she…?"
"You're wondering why our Matron would take over an entire country?" Irvine finished for him. "Or fire missiles at the Gardens, and whatnot? Well, that's the one thing I don't have an answer for. Your guess is as good as mine. We probably wouldn't be able to figure it out even if we talked for hours."
"You're probably right," Squall agreed. "And… I'm sorry about back in Deling City."
"Don't worry about it. We know now why you didn't remember. What's done is done. Now's the time to start thinking about how we're going to face her when the army shows up here in a few days."
"Do you think… we should still keep using our GFs?" Quistis raised another important question. "Knowing what we do now?"
"Absolutely," Squall determined. "We won't stand a chance against her power without them."
"It's the only way I know how to fight," Rinoa chimed in. "And yes, I do intend to fight now."
"Maybe we should all keep our own diaries, just in case?" Selphie suggested. "That way we'll at least have everything written down."
"Yeah," Zell agreed. "But, you know, so what if I forget my childhood all over again? What's important to me now is having the power to protect my ma in Balamb. She's cared for me longer than Matron, and there's no way I'm gonna let her down!"
"Sounds like it's settled, then," Irvine took the reins of the conversation again. "As for me… I'm just going to stay true to who I am, and what I've always stood for. Even if our opponent is someone we once loved, her actions are indefensible. She needs to be stopped. This is our chance to make sure it ends, right here."
He outstretched his arm into the circle they'd formed, and glanced between them all. Rinoa stepped forward first, placing her own hand atop his. Zell followed a split-second later. Selphie and Quistis piled on in quick succession, leaving Squall as the only holdout. Having lived so much of his life isolated from the world, he'd never had any desire for camaraderie. It was there, standing amid many acres of those who'd gone to their own eternal solitude, that he at last recognized himself as part of something greater. He placed his hand atop those of his one and only true family. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he felt a true sense of belonging.
"For Balamb," Irvine spoke. "For Trabia. For Ellone. And for the Matron we once knew. Let's win this fight. Together."