'If clarity's in death then why
won't this die?'
- Taylor Swift (Would've, Could've, Should've)
A/N: Refers more to my proclivity to come back to this fandom than to Shreya, I think, but regardless it is a beautiful bit of poetry.
Dear Shreya,
Nineteen letters of reminiscence and the letter that ended it all.
I.
Dear Shreya,
I remember your first day in the bureau. I remember ACP Pradyuman storming in with Sachin and Freddy, \';.other subs in tow, talking fast about some head and some hand. Abhijeet, Purvi, Rajat, and Vivek had immediately joined the procession, had gathered around the whiteboard to brainstorm. I'd seen you before sir had remembered to introduce you, before others had asked about your identity. I'd seen you scribbling furiously in a file even as you walked, barely looking up. You've always been that way; always been impatient. Always wanting everything at once.
I remember ACP Pradyuman telling us about the Textbook Murders, about the smart crime branch sub who solved it before us and got herself promoted. You had taken it abashedly, in good grace, but you didn't know he'd never talked about a new recruit this way before.
I remember your little pencil taps on the cover of the file. Were those out of habit or were you anxious? I don't know. I remember you walking up to the board once sir's pre-briefing was done, to present the actual briefing. Vineet had taken the lead, but only because you let him. I could tell. Everyone could tell.
Later you'd come up to everyone personally and introduced yourself, asked for help and guidance and blessings. Even then you knew how to work a room. You were nervous about talking to Purvi because you wanted her to like you. I know because the way you had approached her was not the way you had approached anyone else. You knew the value of camaraderie, but more so of companionship. Part of me had wondered how these fragile seeds you were planting would work out. I hadn't thought your ivy would grow towards me. I hadn't thought I would reach out for it.
Yours,
Daya