The first step in resolving your anime addiction is admitting that this won't be the last episode
Hijikata had no idea when or even how it had begun, just that it was happening. And it was annoying.
A certain silver-haired bastard had taken to appearing in the Shinsengumi barracks on a weekly basis, sometimes even daily. It was at the point where no one even questioned it any more and Kondou often welcomed the Yorozuya with an invitation to drink with him.
"Why're we letting civilians into the barracks? Much less that sneaky bastard." Hijikata had asked the first few times it had occurred.
"We don't actually know how he's getting in..." Kondou drew his brows together in what appeared to be concern, but the sentiment subsided swiftly, replaced with a hearty grin that Hijikata had learned to attribute to the optimistic commander. "But he's helped us a lot in the past, no?"
After a while Hijikata had stopped chiding the commander for this obvious breech of security conducted by the most suspicious man in Kabuki district. He'd given his men a swift, to the point briefing (threat) not to let any civilians into the establishment without his prior agreement. Any perms ambling around the barracks were to be disposed of using force. Or else, seppuku.
"You should stop calling yourself the people's police and start calling yourselves the paperwork princes." A familiar, irritating drawl sounded from Hijikata's side. He immediately dropped the pen in his hand and reached for his sword on the floor beside him, only to notice that it wasn't there. Hijikata span around on the tatami. With a smirk, Gintoki tossed the weapon from palm to palm, the heavy metal making a small clatter of indignation - much like its owner.
"Ya do realise that this is a crime? Enterin' private property. I should skewer you here n' now."
"Ahh, as expected of the demon vice-commander. But your brains aren't as sharp as your tongue since I'm holding all the cards here..." He gestured to the katana and smirked at Hijikata's deepening scowl. His eyebrows were drawn so low it was hard to distinguish them from his eyes and he appeared to be tilting precariously on the edge of violence.
"What d'ya want?"
"I was working in the neighbourhood and Okita-kun invited me in."
"That bastard." Hijikata cursed under his breath, fumbling in his pocket for the cigarette he knew would be there to calm his throbbing nerves. Okita was fully aware that the yorozuya's appearance around the barracks sent his blood pressure through the roof and was using the guy as assured bait to wind up Hijikata as much as possible.
"Well, anyway. I've done what I came to do. I've got to get off and read the rest of jump before Kagura uses it for Sadaharu's litter box." You've done what you came to do? Hijikata thought, scathingly. So you came for the sole purpose of winding me up?
"Cats use litter boxes, not dogs. Take the poor thing fer a damn walk."
"Sadaharu isn't a dog. Dogs are those things that follow their master to the end and let you use them as a foot rest and 100% believe you when you pretend to throw a stick and run after it like their balls are on fire. Sadaharu nearly chewed off my foot when I accidentally kicked him with my toe. That thing's just a monster." Gintoki paused for a second before he chuckled to himself, making the demon commander feel uncharacteristically uneasy.
"What?" He asked, not knowing if he really wanted to know what was going on in the bastard's head but asking anyway. Gintoki's footsteps stopped just before he escaped behind the sliding door, turning back once more with a slight grin playing on his face.
"Naah, I was just thinking. Dogs and Mr. Vice-Commander aren't too dissimilar."
He left Hijikata to ponder the meaning of this until the latter decided it was definitely an insult and the screaming insults chased Gintoki down the path towards the exit like the reverberations of angry thunder on a rainy day.
Speaking of which, it started to rain.
Hijikata huffed away the headache pinching in his forehead and returned reluctantly to the pile of work awaiting him. Gintoki had at least been right about one thing – he often had so much paperwork to do that he barely spent any time outside doing his actual job and his skin colour was fading to the same shade as the sheets he was filling out. Or not filling out, as it was currently. He couldn't concentrate now that he had been disturbed, silver hair floating around his brain like a ghost. A dirty ghost with a highly irritating grin.
Hijikata's initial problem was Gintoki's entire existence in the barracks, ambling around like the place was his own, leaving his scent hanging in the air like a territorial animal. Nowadays, his problem was the mess that was always left behind- the bokuto abandoned after a night's drinking with Kondou, his own missing weapon which the idiot had pilfered and the general remnants of a JUMP reading adult sized kid in every room. All of which Hijikata had to rectify the next morning, repeatedly making the furious march to his shop to either complain, return his shit or both. Mostly both.
More than that, Hijikata had a problem with this anxiety building in the pit of his stomach. Would he come today? Was he here? He was always on the look out for the lackadaisical moron, fearing which prank would be pulled next. It was hard enough with one sadist hanging around, trying to blow him up. At least Hijikata's battle instincts saved him from Sougo. Nothing ever prepared him for the teasing that Gintoki conducted. He had begun to anticipate the yorozuya's arrivals to the point that he couldn't concentrate on what he was doing. He was so focussed on trying to find the bastard and skewer him that he'd desert his work and then regret it later that evening when he'd have to settle down to yet another all-nighter. And then, once the idiot had finally shown up, he'd spend the next hour trying to decode the useless junk that he had spewed out of his mouth and he wouldn't sleep.
"I'm a dog? 'Follow their master to the end' … I can't argue with that. Let 'emselves be used as a foot rest? What s'that even mean? Run after an imaginary stick like their balls are on fire? How does he even come up with these ideas? I'm a dog? … Ahh, fuck it. Tryin' to decode that idiot's nonsense is like tryin' to find all the dragon ballz in one episode."
Just as he settled into the sheets of his bed to sleep, Hijikata heard footsteps of bare feet dash to his door. He rolled over and prepared to throw his katana, unsheathed, at whichever idiot decided to open the door at this time. His fingers poised over the weapon as a knock sounded, immediately followed by Yamazaki tumbling through the doorway.
"Commander! Okita's squad who were guarding the government official have been attacked!"
"What?" Hijikata flung off his sheets and was grabbing his shirt before Yamazaki had even had chance to breathe.
"It seems like it's Joui rebels. Katsura's there."
"Katsura? Finally, we can capture that bastard. Wake everyone up. Tonight we bring down Katsura."
Hijikata entered the skirmish, katana blazing silver streaks through the air as he brought down rebel after rebel. He powered his way through the building, up to the second floor to where Okita was swinging a bazooka to topple anyone who tried to set foot up the stairs.
"Don't fire, it's Hijika-AH!" He narrowly dodged an explosion to his right and cursed at the boy. "I said it's me!"
"That's what a Joui rebel would say."
"Fuck you!"
"The official is safe in another building. We're maintaining position to bring out Katsura."
"Good call. Most've 'em are finished downstairs. We'll head out and arrest as many as we can whilst keepin' an eye out."
"Hmm. Nice bed head, Hijikata-san."
"Shut the fuck up. Normal people would be sleeping at this time."
"One more thing, Hijikata-san." Okita suddenly became serious (well, as serious as the bastard could get). "We had reports that Katsura was with someone."
"Like who?"
"I don't know but he wiped out plenty of us when we tried to incarcerate him."
"How many?"
"Enough for me to determine that he's a bit of a monster." Hijikata raised an eyebrow. If Sougo was acknowledging him, he had to have some skill.
Regardless, the problem for here and now was getting that official to safety and finding Katsura before he vanished into the night. The combination of Sougo and Hijikata pummelling through rows of Joui soon made many of them turn tail and retreat. The Shinsengumi chased them out of the premises and down the streets of Kabuki, swatting them like flies.
"These can't be the main troops." Hijikata mused out loud. "They're far too weak." A thought snapped into his head- one that he couldn't shake off. "Where did you say the official was?"
"We moved him to the hotel across the road."
"Did you tell anyone this?" Sougo seemed to catch on quickly and narrowed his eyes.
"You think someone heard and went after them?"
"Only one way to find out." Hijikata announced, turning tail at the exact same time as Okita back the way they came.
They arrived at where the hotel had been. Had being the apt word as it now looked like a bomb had ricocheted through it, which it probably had. Hijikata cursed and charged into the building still licked by dying embers, katana glinting through the settling dust cloud. He spotted a figure in the dust cloud, sword in hand. Immediately recognising that this guy was not part of the Shinsengumi from his attire, he charged, intending to pound the guy into the floor before he could even notice his existence. His plan didn't quite follow as he had imagined.
A wooden bokuto met his katana as it struck down, sending a jolt through Hijikata's body as his powerful strike was stopped completely. He tried to force against it, but the guy was ridiculously firm and wasn't budging an inch. Hijikata drew back and immediately lunged forward for an underhand slash. It was easily deflected. As the dust settled all around them, Hijikata swung once more for the man's body. He was shocked to find himself slicing through a piece of cloth falling through the air, and the shadow of a man appeared to his right.
"Shit-!" He swore, trying to bring up his sword in time to parry the blow that would undoubtedly slice him in two. He closed his eyes, something he had never done before in combat but the idea of seeing his guts splash onto the floor (strangely) did not appeal to him. Instead though, he felt his sword scatter away from his grip and the stranger skipped round him towards the exit.
"S-Sougo! Get him!" Hijikata tried to regain his composure, still shocked that he wasn't currently in two pieces.
"Understood!" Sougo called back. Hijikata watched as a blaze of red lit from across the room and then he narrowly dodged the resulting explosion.
"NOT ME, YOU BASTARD!"
The rest of the night was spent cleaning up the mess that the Joui had caused. Thankfully, the squad members with the official had sensed trouble and immediately transported him back to the barracks before the explosion had occurred, but neither Katsura nor the mystery man who had spared Hijikata's life had been found. Hijikata couldn't help but think that it was someone he had fought before, but not having seen the perpetrator's face in the conflict certainly didn't help identify him. The hanging cloud of debris in the air hadn't helped either. Hijikata swore that even now he could feel the remnants clinging to the back of his throat, though the fact that he had stressfully sucked through double the number of cigarettes since the incident probably had an effect.
Being back at the barracks in the early hours of the morning was hectic, as there were a dozen or so Joui being retained there temporarily, stacks of paperwork to complete, made worse by the screaming civilians demanding compensation for the destruction of their property.
"And you call yourselves the police?! You're just as bad as the Joui!"
The commotion was so bad that Hijikata decided to eat out when it came to dinner time. He told Kondou before making his way past the crowds of protesting idiots and down to the shopping district. And of course, he had to run into the damned Yorozuya. And as usual, he heard them before he saw them.
"Kagura, try to paint it all in the same direction or it won't look neat." The glasses-boy chided, trying to coordinate the mess of a job they were doing.
"A typical man's response." The girl responded, tutting. "Men are stubborn and think in one direction. Gin-chan says it's because their friend down south makes all the decisions."
"Kagura, in future don't listen to Gin-san."
"Shinpachi, what do you class as down south? South Kabuki? South Japan? South of the earth with the ice? Does Gin-chan's brain only work when he's cold? Is that why he's simple?"
"I don't really get what you're saying but yes, he's simple."
"Oi, oi, oi, don't call me simple. Gin-chan will be sad~" Hijikata raised his eyes to where the perm-head was stood, paint brush in hand, atop a set of ladders which Shinpachi was securing at ground level. He lowered his head to let his hair shade his face and tried to walk on past. Of course, no such luck. "Ah, Oogushi-kun!"
"Tch."
"Did you just click your tongue at me? Is that how you police treat your tax payers? I pay your wage, you know. Give me more respect."
"You don't even pay your rent." Shinpachi scolded him, performing a small bow in Hijikata's direction which he returned with a nod. "What are you doing out here, Hijikata-san?"
"It's hectic over at the barracks so I came out for something to eat."
"Ahhh," Gintoki mused, completely abandoning painting as he perched on the top rung precariously. Paint dripped from the brush in his hand onto the floor below, though he didn't take any notice. "I'd heard there was some incident with the Joui."
"Yeah, but they're the least of our worries. The Joui are quietly eating their rice in prison. It's the civilians that won't leave us alone."
"Looks like Kondou-san will be too busy to stalk sister for a while." Shinpachi commented, looking slightly relieved about that.
"Well." Hijikata nodded goodbye as he set off walking again.
"Ah, wait wait wait wait!" Metal clanged noisily as Gintoki clambered down the ladder and removed his apron. "You said you're going out for dinner? It's my break now."
"And?" Hijikata growled, hoping the idiot would get the message he was sending out from his brain in a tsunami of passive aggressive waves.
"So I'll take you to a good place." He grinned back. "Come on."
Hijikata had no idea how he always managed to get caught up in Gintoki's flow, but once again he was flailing in an overwhelming torrent of madness and confusion that was the yorozuya. Something about the man made him impossible to refuse, even when you refused him. Hijikata sighed heavily. He cast a glance at the man, observing his lackadaisical composure, eyes wearing the same calm and conserved expression he always had. Hijikata had heard the cashier at a shop he frequented mention that it was a shame that Gintoki wore such an expression because he was in fact, quite handsome.
Observing now, Hijikata noticed that he didn't particularly have strong cheek bones, but he imagined he'd cut himself on that jawline. His eyes were an unusual shade too. Kind of red, kind of brown, swirling in this deep hue that Hijikata had never seen before. Women always liked a touch of the unusual and Gintoki certainly had attractive eyes … if it weren't for how he wore them. He had rarely seen the eyebrows of this moron meet. There was a permanent space settled between them that gave him a sort of 'vacant' expression, one which was difficult to figure out so you had to take it at face value. He looked kind of simple therefore Hijikata had learned to assume he was. Everything was easier if he did that.
Gintoki raised one hand and scratched his head, hair sliding through his paint speckled fingertips. It was then that Hijikata took the time to notice the tail end of a fresh wound poking out from under his shirt. It wasn't deep or particularly nasty looking, but it stood out a raw red against his green work polo. One eyebrow ticked upwards, curiously, until he noticed that the constant flow of shit coming out of Gintoki's mouth had paused. A stagnant silence hung between them and the vice-commander noticed that his stare was being returned.
"Have I got paint on me?"
"Not unless the paint is red." Hijikata gestured to the wound and Gintoki followed his eyes, squinting at his own skin. He pulled down the collar of his shirt for a better look.
"Ahh, when did I do this, I wonder." He mused, running one finger over the scab that was forming.
"Don't touch it with your dirty fingers. You'll infect it."
"Yes, sir." Gintoki let a smile play across his face. "Worried?"
"Worried that you were up to something dodgy." Hijikata retorted smoothly.
"Hmm... kind of. I was dragged into something last night by an old friend of mine." Hijikata raised an eyebrow and suspicion edged into his head. Suspicion was pretty much in his job description, after all. Wooden bokuto … a familiar fighting style …
"What kind of thing?" He asked, trying to fade out the interrogative tone that was threatening to appear in his voice and instead coming across as completely unnatural.
"Mmm... drinking contest?" Hijkata scoffed.
"How d'you get injured from that?"
"Ah really, Oogushi-kun. Have you never had a wild night out? Want Gin-san to show you sometime? You'll come back with blackened knees and a tic-tac-toe of claw marks across your back."
"What?"
"Never mind." Gintoki's teasing expression deepened as he held the door open for him and Hijikata felt like boiling him alive. Don't let him win. He chanted to himself, taking a deep breath. They made their way over to a table and began to sit down opposite from each other until Gintoki's expression changed. He paused mid-air, hovering over the seat as his eyes wandered elsewhere and an irritated scowl darkened his usual happy-go-lucky face. "Two minutes, Oogushi-kun. I feel the call of nature's rivers churning in my analogue stick."
"Don't call me that name. And stop bein' so disgusting."
Gintoki loitered for a second at the entrance to the bathroom, glancing slightly over his shoulder as another man wearing a hood followed behind. He clicked his tongue and vanished along with him.
Immediately, Hijikata was suspicious. He was becoming fairly certain that it was Gintoki he had fought last night, which would explain the familiarity of their conflict and the reason he had escaped alive. What it did not explain was why the yorozuya was involved with the Joui and Katsura … Hijikata was certain that Gintoki held no notions of nationalism and terrorism – he could tell that from looking at his daft face. He was a simple individual, easy to figure out. Whatever was happening in that toilet now was linked to last night and therefore it was linked to Katsura. Despite his convictions that Gintoki had no intention of fighting the Shinsengumi, Hijikata decided that the perm headed idiot was in definite need of surveillance. He felt that following him would lead him to Katsura …
And maybe to unravelling that small part of him that felt like there was an incredible back story to Gintoki. A part of him that believed there was a whole other layer to Gintoki's personality that for the most part remained hidden. A darker section right in his core. Unexplored territory.
"You could have ordered." Gintoki replied as he returned, sitting down. Hijikata eyed him carefully trying to read the mysterious man, then shrugged.
"No one came to ask."
"Can I take your order?" A young woman chimed at Hijikata, smiling broadly. She had long, black hair tied high in a pony tail that swished at her hips.
"Right on time." Gintoki grinned.
"You first." Hijikata gestured, but Gintoki waved him off.
"I already know what he wants." The waitress replied. "What about yourself?" Hijikata was stunned for a second, before he ordered with a frown. Just before she left, Gintoki stopped her.
"Yuki-chan~, don't forget!"
"I know, extra strawberry sauce, right? You're going to get diabetes." Gintoki immediately covered his ears.
"Hear no evil!"
"Seriously!" The girl rolled her eyes and then leaned over to Gintoki mouthing the words 'di-a-betes' playfully. She shook her head and then smiled one last time at Hijikata.
Once she had gone, Gintoki removed his palms from his ears and Hijikata cast him a scathing glare.
"Flirtin' with high schoolers?"
"What? No! Get your head out of the gutter, vice-commander of the Shinsengumi." Gintoki looked appalled. He clicked his tongue and leant forward. "Listen here, pervert. Gin-san doesn't go after that sort of thing. I happened to work for her dad for a week and she made me strawberry parfait every day. She gives me discounts whenever I come now."
"Hmm." Hijikata frowned. He watched the man carefully, still trying to read his mind. What had happened in that toilet? Did he meet with a Joui? Was he involved? His eyes snapped back to Gintoki's when he heard the latter sigh heavily.
"Stop it."
"Stop what?"
"Stop imagining stuff."
"I'm not imagining high school girls if that's what you mean. 'm not like you." Hijikata cast him a glare and drummed his fingers on the table.
"I don't mean that. I mean stop your over-thinking." The lowered tone of his voice made Hijikata look up to meet the idiot's hardened eyes and with a start, he realised that he was serious. For once, the guy's eyes were watching him speculatively, commanding him with unsaid words. "Are you always this suspicious, Mr Demon Commander?"
"It's my job."
"Innocent until proven guilty, you know?"
"Affiliating with Joui rebels during the attack on a government official last night … I would call that guilty until proven otherwise." The air between them hardened and the only give-away to what the perm-head was thinking was a small twitch of surprise in his eyes.
"Then why haven't you arrested this guilty terrorist?" They maintained careful eye contact for longer than what was comfortable, each trying to decode the other's soul through his eyes. Hijikata was the one to break contact, slouching back into his seat casually.
"Who knows?" He shrugged. Just in time, the waitress returned and laid out the dishes before them. Hijikata revealed a bottle of mayonnaise from his jacket and coated his meal in it until the point it was unrecognisable. He squirmed slightly, knowing that a pair of deep burgundy eyes were still held firmly on him. Those eyes continued to watch him silently as he began to eat, until seemingly he grew bored and set about devouring the sugar filled monstrosity before him.
The rest of their time in the café was made up of Gintoki spouting nonsense as usual, and Hijikata making the occasional scathing remark in response. Though Hijikata couldn't help but sink into deep thought about the yorozuya, despite the man's clear warning not to. He wondered about how he had experienced the war, whether he had any family and what type of person he was growing up. Observing his expression, there was absolutely nothing that gave him away. He was impossible to read yet so predictable. Hijikata had no idea what he was thinking beyond that ridiculously lax bag of shit he called a face, but despite that he was so easy to predict.
He'll probably make some stupid excuse now and leave without paying. He thought. On cue, Gintoki stretched lethargically and let out a gentle moan as his back clicked.
"I guess I have to get back and make sure those two idiots haven't painted the entire town white."
"Wait." Hijikata stood up at the same time and grasped the collar of the silver-haired man's shirt, glaring down at him with as threatening a gaze as he could muster.
"What, miss me already?" The man teased, earning himself a punch in the gut.
"Pay up."
"Surely I deserve compensation for the liver you just damaged." Gintoki wheezed. He tried to slip from under Hijikata's grip but the latter was having none of it. He solidified his grip equal to that of a Jack Russell so that there was no chance in hell of the bastard slipping away. Gintoki sighed heavily. "Okay, okay, okay, calm down, Hijikata-kun~"
"Why does everythin' that you say sound disgusting?"
"Natural talent. Anyway, I don't have any money on me today-" The look on the commander's face spelled 'K-I-D-N-EY-S' pretty clearly and Gintoki had to stumble over his words to explain. "-but I'll settle a deal with you."
"Like what?"
"You choose." In normal circumstances, Hijikata would have taken the kidneys himself to settle the bill, but right now he had a few burning questions about the man in his grip. Questions he wanted answering. For the sake of paying for a parfait, it didn't seem like a bad trade off.
"Alright, bastard-"
"You have a lovely way with words, Oogushi-kun~"
"The deal is you answer one of my questions truthfully and I pay for the parfait." Gintoki looked bemused, but not surprised. He considered it seriously, tilting his head to one side like a dog. More like a wolf. Hijikata thought.
"How will you know if I'm telling the truth?"
"Would you stake your organs on me finding out you lied?"
"You make a compelling argument, commander. Alright alright, deal. What's your burning question, Hijikata-kun? Want to know what colour underwear Gin-san wears? Or whether he prefers S or-YAK!"
"Nothing like that." Hijkata rubbed his knuckles gently as Gintoki recovered from the second punch to his liver. "Are you part of the Joui?" He asked, directly. Gintoki raised his eyebrows for a fraction of a second, before his face relaxed into a smile.
"So direct. As expected of the demon commander."
"Answer the question already, idiot. Or do you want to pay for this parfait with your lungs?" Gintoki bit back the next smart remark which was already forming on his tongue and averted his gaze for a moment. When he looked back, he seemed decidedly more stern than before.
"Are we talking about now? Currently?"
"Yeah."
"No." He said flatly. There was a silence as Hijikata waited for an explanation. After a few moments, it was evident that this was never going to come. One question had been the deal and one answer he had received. It seemed the man wasn't going to freely discuss his past with Hijikata, and something about that ticked him off. He clicked his tongue.
"That's the truth?"
"Solid truth." Gintoki nodded. "And with that …" He slipped out of the iron grip on his clothes and sauntered to the exit, waving at Yuki-chan as he opened the door with one hand. "This old-man will be paying today. Bye-bye!"
"Bye bye!" She called back, preparing the tab to take over to Hijikata. Gintoki looked back one last time at Hijikata and paused, expression completely blank and unreadable. Once again, Hijikata felt unreasonably uncomfortable and that pissed him off. He deepened his icy scowl towards the guy, which seemed to amuse the yorozuya because he cracked into a grin, one eyebrow raised mockingly.
"Bye bye, Oogushi-kun~" He said, disappearing into the street. The waitress made her way over, a friendly smile painted onto her face.
"Tch. Everything he says. So disgusting." Hijikata mumbled, taking his wallet out of his pocket and preparing the cash.
"That'll be 6603 yen."
"WHAT?!"
"You'll be paying his tab, right? Everything he owes."
" … YOROZUYAAAAAA!"
AN-
First Gintama fic because I've been holding in fangirling over this series for a while. Hope you enjoy my poor attempt at humour and look forward to lots n lots of angst ahead!