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"Where are we going exactly?"
"If you didn't recognize it, I'm not telling ya."
It hadn't been long since they'd left Arendelle's limits. The satin glowy snow around them glistened with the spark of the afternoon sun—the trees bent under the powder's accumulated weight as if bowing to greet the small group that traversed the wood with light steps, the path clearing before them by resonant white magic. The no-less white noise of crunching boots and mountain breezes melded together to form an idyllic picture, only disturbed by Elsa and Anna's vigorous discussion.
Their surroundings smelled of tree sap and frozen leaves, tickling Elsa's nostrils with their light perfume.
"I very much recognize the North Mountain's path. I still don't see where we're going. Is it my castle?" she asked.
"Kinda."
"Kinda is not an answer to my question, Anna. Today is a workday, kinda is not what I want to hear."
The young princess crossed her arms. "It's your birthday tomorrow. Today is definitely not a workday."
"How is it not? My birthday is tomorrow," Elsa said, her eyebrow lifted in anticipation of Anna's answer.
"That's how I work."
"And that's how I don't, apparently."
"Come on," Anna huffed, letting her arms sag. "We already discussed this. The kingdom can take care of itself for one afternoon. It'll be fun, I promise."
It seemed she had been planning it for a while. With Kristoff, Sven and Olaf in tow, Anna had fetched her for what she described as a matter of utmostly utmost urgency. Elsa knew Anna wouldn't have taken her on a trip on a whim. Her sister was many things with her, but certainly not careless.
"It better be. But I have to ask, just to be sure—you know it's not there anymore, right? My castle?"
Anna dropped her head, keeping eye-contact with Elsa. "Oh, that was cheeky. I know it's not. That's precisely why we're going. To rebuild it!"
Elsa carefully squashed her surprise.
Does she know why?
"We? Did you hide your ice powers from me all this time, Anna?"
"Not really, I'd very much like fire powers though," she said, lifting a finger to tap her chin at a steady tempo. "But okay. You will build it back, and Kristoff and I will watch with very supportive cheers."
Elsa walked a bit closer. "And the idea came to you because…"
"I wish," Anna answered with a quick chuckle. "This is Garret's idea."
"Was it?"
It shouldn't have surprised her. He was the only one who had seen her build it, even if it was just in a memory. He was the only one who knew how important to her it was—how its loss still haunted her as much as seeing Jürden's grandchildren. It had been a thought she came back to a lot more often than she'd willingly admit. And even if, somehow, someone else came to know, she felt that he would still be the only one to understand.
That night, she had made a mistake. One that filled her with both awe and apprehension. She had explored her powers, but far from everyone.
And only he could know that her castle was a testament of who she was, what her entire country had gone through to reach the peace they now relished.
The sentiment filled her with a sensation she'd discovered just a year prior—a warmth spread through her chest, enveloping her in the delicate touch of a fuzzy blanket. Sometimes, that warmth would even reach her cheeks.
She tried to keep her grin in check. She couldn't let Anna see it. She'd never hear the end of it otherwise.
"Yup yup. He said it wa—Can I please ask you why you didn't make that silly face when you thought the idea was mine?"
She had seen it.
"What silly face?"
Anna stepped even closer, now almost nose to nose with Elsa as she walked backwards. Her right hand perched on her hip while her left indicated Elsa's face and her eyes scanned every square inch of her expression. "That one."
"I'm not doing anything."
Elsa needed a distraction. She clasped her hands behind her and whispered to her ice, summoning it with a hushed command and a small gesture of her finger to sneak under Anna's thick fur coat, between her hair and her skin.
"No, you're def—AH! Did you… Did you just tickle me?"
This time Elsa didn't bother hiding her grin. "I don't see how I could do that. My magic is ice, not distance tickling."
"That's cold, even for you. Nevermind. So, he said it was important to you, but he really couldn't tell why. I believed him for once." She played with her fingers, her swollen cheeks proving her intense thinking. "Wait, maybe he played a prank on me. Did he play a prank on me? Do you actually hate this? Please tell me you don't hate this…"
That same warmth again. Seeing Anna worry about something that was probably trivial to her, but might hold some significance for their family, was one of many reasons she adored her sister.
"I don't, Anna. Don't worry. I don't think Garret would be the type to play a prank on you anyway."
"I wouldn't be so sure. He did pull a few new tricks during the last training sessions. Did you really have to teach him to use his ice like that?"
He had made some very respectable progress in the past few months—though he was still far from Elsa's own level if she was honest. He had been adamant to learn sculpture before anything else; he had promised someone he would.
"I just showed him the way. He's teaching himself now."
"Uh-huh."
Anna brought her arms behind her neck and lifted her eyes to the clear-blue skies, Elsa imitating her a few seconds later. The dance of creamy clouds and calm winds stirred a familiar feeling—a fleeting longing that was always there but never really. Like on the boat, and when she'd look sometimes upon the fjord. Something that she knew was there but could never point out.
Was it a call? Her powers had been behaving for the last few weeks.
Anna's voice dragged her back to earth.
"It is important to you, then?"
"Yes, very. In a way that is very difficult to express with words, and I think that's why he didn't want to talk about it."
"So, an ice-magic-people thing?" Anna asked.
"You could say that."
"That's the only club you're in and I'm not. I'm gonna start feeling jealous."
"That makes up for all the clubs you're in and I'm not."
"Like wha—"
Elsa started counting on her fingers. "Sewing, baking, reading, chocolate-tasting—this one hurts a lot, doll making, gardening… Should I continue? Do you have anything to say?"
Anna opened her mouth, closed it quickly, lifted her index finger and prepared to say something again, changed her mind once more, and finally just sighed. "I, uh… I left the doll-making one? Okay, okay, okay. But I invited you to all of those and you never have time to come."
Elsa covered her own mouth and giggled quietly. "I know, Anna. I'm just teasing you."
"And excuse me, but you're part of the most exclusive club in the world," Anna said, raising her voice and puffing her chest out.
"And what would that be?"
"Anna's Awesome Sisters Club. Guess how many people are in there?"
Elsa pursed her lips in mock reflection. "You'll have to remind me."
"Just one hard-headed ball of cuteness."
"She must be very proud."
"I don't know. I never asked her."
"You should. I think you'd like the answer."
"I don't have to. She shows it to me every day." Anna latched onto her back and tenderly rubbed Elsa's arms with her gloved hands. "I still can't imagine not feeling the cold at all. I'm happy to have you too, by the way."
Elsa leaned into the quick hug. "Thanks, Anna. Just a question, though… If this is Garret's idea, why isn't he coming with us?"
"Oh, he said he'd go ahead, prepare things… I don't really know what he meant but we'll find him there. I think. Probably. I don't know, I'm too excited to think about it now that I know you'll like it! But on that topic…"
Anna pulled back and continued walking by her side, repeatedly knocking her knuckles together like she always did when she was nervous or wanted to raise a touchy subject.
"Why the long face? Did I do something wrong?" Elsa asked, honest worry slithering its way past the cheerfulness of the moment.
"No, no… Do you… Do you intend to do anything about him?" Anna demanded.
"What do you mean?"
Anna sighed to the ground and lifted focused eyes to meet hers. She closed her fist, brought it to her forehead, and made a quick up and down gesture that looked as obscure to Elsa as if she had just started climbing a tree. Seeing that it elicited no reaction, Anna turned around to check if Kristoff was looking—he was busy talking to Olaf and Sven—and fired an imaginary arrow.. She then pointed towards her own heart.
"You know what I mean…" she finally said.
Oh. Garret.
Elsa suppressed a sigh. She had been educated—as her sister would say—by Anna on some specific aspects during discussions that taught her she had been mostly oblivious to very critical matters. She was acutely aware that her relationship with Garret was different than with everyone else somehow, but never really stopped to question in what way.
"Anna… You know I'm not really—It's not that I don't…" It wasn't for the lack of trying, but Elsa failed to define the nature of her feelings. "It's not a simple matter. Not for me."
Anna was warm. She opened up to anyone willing in a simple way that gave her a knack for social interactions, despite the thirteen years of isolation. She had known for Kristoff in a few days.
Elsa wasn't the same. She wished she was, but her heart didn't lie. She trusted Garret; he was now, without a doubt, as precious to her as Anna or Kristoff were. But did she see him like that?
Could she see anyone like that?
Anna clicked her tongue. "Okay, I understand that. Just tell me this: do you like him?"
She had asked that question many times before, and Elsa's answer had always been the same.
As anything more…? I don't know.
Surely sensing the sempiternal response coming back, Anna adapted her strategy. "All right, all right. That's maybe a bit too direct. I'll ask it another way. How does he make you feel?"
That was new. And something she never thought about before. Elsa whimsically glanced at the heavens, rummaging through her own mind to come up with an answer. She reviewed all the time she spent at his side ever since they came back from London.
How he had given her that proud look when appointed Lieutenant—a post he now devotedly occupied; how he had—very awkwardly, as always—tried to learn how to greet her properly; how he tried as much as he could to limit his use of profanity when he was near her; how he didn't try to hide his tired face anymore—sometimes he plunged back into his own mind and he let her see it, help him with it; how he always valued her laughs above his own reputation—and sometimes his own dignity, much to her dismay; how young and sprightly he looked whenever he laughed; how he was always ready to help, anyone and for anything, without expecting any reward; how he had spent many hours on the fjord's shore, making little animals of ice all alone until she came across him that one time and they just sat in a comfortable silence—it had become a tradition of theirs now.
There was one common characteristic to all her memories that involved him—one characteristic that was at that very moment plastered on her lips.
"He makes me smile."
The words felt like a balm over her tongue, smooth and comforting.
Anna beamed up. "Oh! Smile because of what?"
"It depends," Elsa replied with a shrug. "Sometimes he just does something silly, or he tries so very hard to create something with his ice. Sometimes he gets serious, and he frowns a bit too much, so I tell him he looks like a bad guy and he immediately tries to soften up. Other times he goes out of his way to help someone without them knowing and he does that flustered thing with his cheek when he's caught. Just yesterday, I saw him sneaking a few pastries out of the kitchen for the new recruits."
"He does that?"
Elsa smiled fondly, recalling in silence his paralyzed surprise and giant rabbit eyes. "He said he tried not to do it more than once a week, and that he always left a sculpture for payment. I think it's a tacit accord: the kitchens know he's the one that takes them. He also tried to bribe me with a cookie. The cheek..."
"Did it work?"
"You know I'm incorruptible, Anna."
"I'm sure that little brown stain on your cheek agrees with the sentiment," Anna chided, her eyes narrowed mischievously
Elsa's heart flew to her throat, and her fingers to her face. "It's still there?!"
Anna laughed heartily, and Elsa remembered that she was talking to someone who knew her better than she knew herself. She shrugged her light flush off and squared her shoulders in feigned revolt.
"I get the picture, Elsa… I think you know what I think, so I'm only gonna say this: you look relaxed when you're with him. But this is not about me. I trust you with what you want. If you decide anything, I'm with you all the way, okay? Just… Talk to him about it. You owe each other that," Anna said. "It also helps that he doesn't look half-bad."
"That isn't very important to me."
"I know, I know. But still. You both earned it."
Her support meant the world to Elsa. She didn't know what to make of the incoherent swirl of sentiments that surged through her, but knowing Anna would be there comforted her like it always did.
She circled her arm around her shoulder in another tight embrace that smelled like home. "You always know the words."
"That's experience for you, Sis'. And on this note, I'm falling a bit behind 'cause Kristoff said I wouldn't be able to convince you to come and now he owes me a thing or two."
"Do I want to know what thing or two?" Elsa asked.
"Er… You probably don't? Kindofa couple thing…"
Elsa gave a sharp shake of her head. "I don't want to hear about that."
"Hehe, thought so." Anna slowed down, allowing herself to come to Kristoff's level. "Watcha doin', big guy?" she whispered in a voice Elsa wished she never heard.
Releasing a giant sigh that sounded a lot more longing than Elsa expected, she faced back ahead, her thoughts flying to the red-headed ice wielder.
Anna was right, as per usual. Elsa was a queen and not a very vocal one at that. As extroverted as he was, it wasn't easy for him either.
People are complicated. Me most of all.
They reached the clearing before her castle's resting place without any issue—Elsa knew the road by heart. On-site, Garret's recognizable coat and a headful of deep red hair were peeking over a snow mound the size of her room—he was hunched forward, not far from the precipice, with a rather large white silhouette standing above him and peeping over his shoulder.
"Hey there, G!" Anna greeted in her usual loud and cheerful manner. "Just in case, Marshmallow is right behind you."
Garret waved over his back without getting up or turning around. "Yeah, I'm aware. Wasn't the first time—gave me a darn heart attack. He's been like that for the last few hours, now. Seems to be interested in what I'm doing. He still thinks I'm red, though."
Few hours?
"Yes, you're red. But good red, now. Also, a lot more white with it. So, it's okay," Marshmallow bellowed with a wide grin.
Anna walked closer and looked at what Garret was busying himself with. "Speaking of. What have you been up to?"
Elsa followed her with muffled steps. Beyond the white, she could see that Garret had already started working. At his feet was a square of perfectly clear ice over which motifs of spiraling winds mixed with lines straighter than justice. On the other side, beyond the broken frame that overlooked the cliff, sprawling over different layers, another similar block had been raised from soil—it was a lot larger. The chunks were solid as if creating a base for…
Stairs. He wants to spare me the less exciting parts.
"Oh, nothing much," Garret answered. "Just trying to make this platform look half-decent. And failing miserably, too…"
Anna exchanged a quick look with Elsa and with a grin replied, "Hey, don't get too hard on yourself. This looks pretty nice."
"Heh, thanks. I just hope Elsa likes it."
"Oh, I like it, if I do say so myself."
Garret whirled around his head so fast she was sure he grew dizzy. "Ma—Majesty!" He immediately stood and bowed—there were still a few details to review but it was a lot better than his first attempts.
Elsa waved with a tender smile. "Hello there."
"Hi," Olaf and Kristoff both added from behind her.
For a little while, she could swear Garret's face was burning crimson. "I'm sor—I meant—I shouldn't have called you…"
She chuckled and waved a hand again, maintaining a large smile to alleviate his worries. "It's okay, Garret."
"You told me to bring her, and being a very, very polite girl, I brought her," Anna said as she nudged his side with a quick raise of her eyebrows.
"Not so early," Garret whispered angrily.
Anna shrugged. "It's done now." She then walked away and whistled, examining the frozen basis of what would be Elsa's new castle in mere moments.
Said queen came to Garret's right and peered at his left leg. "How is the new prosthesis?"
Garret exhaled and his shoulders relaxed visibly. "It's working mighty fine, Majesty. Sir Hyelbrön was very meticulous with this one. And your adjustments make for a very nice little touch," he explained as he gave little taps on the snow with his foot.
The very first prosthetic legs he had used had not lasted very long—apparently, magical ice was a much more durable component that had gotten Garret accustomed to using his former frozen leg like he would have one of flesh; a usage that breaks most full-metal limbs. Despite the stronger mix of ice and steel they decided to use, the metallic parts still needed replacements every few weeks.
"I'm happy you like it," she said. She had been glad to help. Elsa turned to the icy platform. "So, you laid the groundwork?"
"Yes, I… I thought you'd want to concentrate on the finer details, and not bother with the hassle of keeping it all together."
"I understand the sentiment. The first stages are a bit more tedious since they must support everything else. I enjoy making them nonetheless."
"Oh. I…"
Elsa immediately sensed the doubts she had instilled in his mind and hurriedly reassured him. "It's not an issue. This only makes it easier. Thank you, Garret." She took a second to breathe the atmosphere in; the crisp mountain air felt lighter and purer than the one a few hundred feet below. The sensation of snow gently coming into contact with her skin, only getting stronger when she unconsciously imbued it with her magic. The sounds of the growing wind, calm but mighty. "I missed this."
Garret crossed his arms and, without a word, observed her, his face bright with relief. "I had a feeling you would. I know that what you lived through here, letting your powers flow… It wasn't the solution, but… The sheer force of it all… It was the start of a journey. I uh, I tried to explain it to Anna, but… I feared it would sound weird."
He understands.
Elsa put a gentle hand over his forearm and gave it a soft squeeze. "Garret. I know. I was there."
He scoffed in that light way he always did when he realized he was getting a bit too flustered for nothing. "Yes, you were. And now, you have all the space to spread your wings and do it properly."
"That I have. I just feel like I'm missing something."
"Are you? Oh Lord, I should've thought this out bett—"
"No, no, everything you did was perfect. Just come closer," Elsa explained after a quick laugh.
"What?"
She pointed to the ground right next to her. "Come here, please. Just at my side. Right here. It's not for a prank, I swear. There, thank you. Anna? Olaf? Kristoff? Mallow? Can you join us, please? Yes, even you, Sven."
Anna perked up from behind her. "What is it?"
"I don't want to do this alone. This time, I want us all to build it. Together."
Kristoff approached with his eyebrows raised and his left arm lazily hanging off his reindeer's soft fur. "Um, Elsa? You do remember that we weren't born with powers?"
"Garret might help you, but don't assume that for everybody," Olaf muttered as he lay on his saddle atop Sven's back with bored eyes.
Elsa rolled her own. "I knooow. You'll guide us. This isn't my castle anymore—not only my castle, at least. It's ours. So, tell me, what should we start with?"
Olaf's eyes shone brighter and he jumped to the ground. "For real?"
Anna crossed her arms. "You sure about that? I'm going to ask you to make some weird stuff."
Elsa's voice dropped an octave. "I know… I'm prepared for it."
Seeing the predatory grins that appeared on everyone's face, maybe it wasn't so good an idea after all.
"Oh, I want suits of armor everywhere!"
"Sven says he wants his own room."
"And I want a pool. Inside a pool."
Of course.
Elsa glanced at Garret. He was evidently trying his best to stifle that laugh. She smiled wistfully, shook her head and straightened her back.
"Okay. Let's make a list first."
"That went a lot better than I thought it would. I never thought Elsa would agree to half the things I said."
"I know, right? I still can't believe there's a giant ice carrot suspended over the hall."
"Or that you tried to eat it."
"I had to see if it would taste the same."
"It's ice, Olaf."
"Exactly! Ice and carrots? That's Kristoff's two favorite things in one!"
The small group took their time on the trip home. Building the castle had taken the entire afternoon; ochre curtains and dark veils ate away at the vivid blue that disappeared under the insolent sparkle of a thousand stars, letting the forest bask in the final lights of the day.
Elsa walked in silence, Garret striding at her side. They both watched in quiet amusement as Anna, Kristoff and Olaf gushed about their new collective creation.
"They liked it," Garret said.
"Yes. We catered to their most wacky ideas; they used every single ounce of their imagination."
"They're a good bunch."
"And an exhausting one, but yes."
Garret chuckled. "I might believe your exasperation if it wasn't for that giant smile."
"That's because I'm not exasperated. I'm elated," Elsa explained.
"You are?"
How could I not be?
Elsa shrugged, sending her French braid to her back. "I got the opportunity to share one of the two best aspects of my life with the other. Of course, I am."
"I'm… I'm glad," Garret said, his eyes glued to the faint glow of the crescent moon above.
"Anna told me this was your idea."
His gaze immediately snapped to her, then to the ground. "Oh… Yes, umm… Well, she wanted to do something special, and since tomorrow is going to tangle you in official celebrations and all…"
Her smile couldn't get any bigger. "It was a wonderful moment."
"At your service, Your Majesty. And by the way, I would like to apologize for earlier… Anna doesn't much like formality, so I took the bad habit of referring to you by name whenev—"
"Garret?"
"Y-Yes?"
It was an idea that she had let germinate for a while now, and the almost giddy excitement she felt when she heard him call her Elsa had confirmed it. It wasn't just something that she accepted; it was something that she wanted.
She took a deep breath to steel herself and continued in a voice barely above a whisper. "Whenever it's just us, like this… I would very much like it if you called me by my name."
His blank stare was both endearing and funny. "Are you… Is it really fine?"
"More than fine. I would love you to." Her face fell a little when she repeated that sentence in her head. "I mean—I would love if you—It would be lovely—" She paused and brought a hand to her temple. "I'm making a fool of myself, aren't I? Point is, it would bring me great joy."
He gave her a bright smile, not dwelling on her stuttering a single second. "Message received, Your Ma—I mean, Elsa."
That same quick surge of contentment flowed through her veins like liquid fire. It felt good. It felt right.
"Speaking of calling someone—I heard you have a new nickname?"
His smile immediately gave way to a more bashful half-grin that told her everything she needed to know. "Oh, er. Yeah..."
"I knew it! Einar wouldn't stop sighing about it. What is it?"
"It's not very... I mean it's not... The little ones gave it to me, and it's not very—I wanted it to be Winter Soldier!"
"They didn't like it?" she asked. Garret shook his head. "And that's because...?"
"My hair isn't long enough apparently?" he said, his voice a tiny pitch higher in confusion. "How does that make sense?"
Elsa shared his sentiment. "Wait, that's it?"
"I also heard some muttering about it feeling too serious for a guy who's missing a limb..."
"Too bad, it quite corresponded. You are a soldier with winter-like powers… What did they choose instead?"
Garret stayed mute and gazed far ahead. He then coughed and spoke, "Promise not to laugh."
"Er…Promise."
He arched a single eyebrow. "That wasn't very confident."
"My promises are confident! In their own way…"
"Nah, It's not enough. What do I get if you laugh?"
"An official apology from the mighty Snow Queen of Arendelle wouldn't suffice? Entire countries would beg for that."
"Not if she just asked me to call her by her name. Elsa."
She sighed. "Already using that against me, are you? Fine. You will receive the reward you ask for. Be it a whole month off or a room at the castle."
"I accept these terms."
"What is it, then?"
Garret cleared his throat and spoke so low she wondered if he was actually saying anything. "…guin."
"I couldn't hear that, Garret."
He squared his shoulders and tried to appear as proud as he could. "Penguin."
Elsa barely managed to contain the burst of laughter. With that dark coat and white shirt, the resemblance was indeed uncanny. The laughter caught up in her throat and almost knocked the wind out of her, as vicious and sudden as a punch to the gut. She almost doubled over, clutching her gut as her body continued to shake. At his intense glare, she tried as much as she could to transform it into a convincing cough.
"I'm not laughing," she tentatively explained.
He didn't look very convinced. He walked closer, eyeing her with a daring sparkle in his glance.
"I'm not!"
He blinked repeatedly. She couldn't fathom how he managed to appear completely unaffected.
"I'm rea—hum. I'm really not."
Now he was simply gazing at her intensely, both his brows cocked.
"Please. Don't look at me with those big eyes."
"Lips are twitching."
"C-Cold."
He leaned back, his eyes wide with mock surprise, "That's the best you could find? Telling me that you feel the cold?"
Very cunning there, Elsa...
"Not the easiest information to believe, I agree."
"Uh-huh. What if I do this?" He opened his hand before her, unveiling a little statue of a penguin with a top hat waddling about his palm. She inadvertently let a single squeal escape, and sealed her lips shut in a flushed hurry. "Was that a chuckle? I think I heard a chuckle."
She couldn't lose. Not after all the effort she poured into it.
"You're—hum. You're mistaken. I'm tired and breathe a bit too loud. I apologize for that."
"Not even a giggle?" He leaned over, studying her face up close. He finally relented, releasing a semi-frustrated grunt. "Fine. You didn't laugh. I won't ask what I was going to ask."
Elsa could now let her shoulders loosen up and breathe normally. "What were you going to ask for?"
"You lost that opportunity by not laughing, I'm afraid. You'll see soon enough anyway."
That last bit intrigued her, but she knew he wouldn't budge on that now that he was set on it. She would have to wait. However, something about the way he looked at her seemed off. He didn't appear half as flustered as he usually was. She mentally went over their exchange with furrowed brows, reaching the only possible conclusion.
"That wasn't your nickname at all, was it?"
His grin broadened and he readjusted his coat over his shoulders. "Not really. But I like to see you smile."
The heat went to her cheeks and she tried her best to ignore it. "I can't understand how you lie so well. Are you really the man you pretend to be?"
"You only think I'm good at lying because you're somehow worse at it than I am. No offense."
He wasn't wrong. Anna had told her Garret was a terrible liar. And she didn't need anyone to tell her how unconvincing she was. "None taken. And, appropriately, I've seen you smile a lot more these last months."
He looked ahead, the shine of the moon's ethereal nimbus breaking through the thick cover of snow above them and illuminating his face. "I do, don't I? Well, I do have reasons to."
She didn't have to ask which. She knew them all. Elsa loved the sincerity that oozed through his tone. Politics were a game of appearances, and even if everyone around her was agreeable enough when meeting ambassadors and representatives, she sometimes found herself missing the gentle tremor that true happiness provoked in one's voice.
The one she could hear when playing with Anna, when taking care of Sven with Kristoff, when giving Olaf his own thundercloud, when visiting Arendelle, when talking to Garret.
She wondered if they could hear it in her voice as well.
Her hand came to rest over her heart. It had sped up without any reason. It was a funny sensation that she was becoming all too familiar with.
"It's Gerda's cookies, right?" she asked, absent-minded fingers playing with a single strand of her hair.
Garret brought a hand to his forehead. "How does she make those? They look like regular cookies but they're… there's so much—"
"—chocolate. They are to die for indeed."
"And no reason to live if you have nothing to die for."
They shared a laugh, and something tugged at her heart. A new sensation. Both a weight and a relief. She looked at him once more, drinking in the sight and sound of the laugh she had come to cherish. It was silly, but she didn't care.
"Thank you."
For the castle. For the various teas. For the games and the statues. For the light he added to her home. For his smiles and her laughs. For coming to Arendelle and choosing to stay. For choosing to heal and giving himself the tools to do so.
Thank you for being here.
He studied her for a minute, her mind drowning in the warm glint of his green eyes. "My pleasure, Elsa."
Anna sidestepped the dancing couples like an expert tracker. Elsa was finally alone—no diplomat to be seen. The New Year's party had been extraordinary, but the official reception that followed had been too official for her. She needed some time with her sister.
She observed Elsa as she strode closer, noticing her hand unconsciously stroking her hair and her gaze trailing far into the crowd. A quick peep told her what—or rather, who—she was very discreetly spying on and Anna's heart melted.
She faced forward again and with a few sorries and pardon mes managed to slither her way out of the crowd.
"Tired of their big words?" she asked when she came up to her sister on the platform, the light that returned to Elsa's face making it very hard not to take her into her arms.
"I must admit they get repetitive, but today is a festive day." She swept the grand hall, letting out a satisfied sigh. "I'm growing fond of parties."
Anna chuckled. Parties were awesome and it was nice to see Elsa appreciate them for what they were—times of fun and relaxation.
But there were also other things she was growing fond of.
"Did the books tell you anything?"
They both quickly bowed to another dignitary before Elsa turned back to her. "What books?"
"I go to the library as often as you do, Elsa… And this last week, I saw a few interesting books were missing." Anna couldn't prevent a sly smile from grazing her lips. "Did Arrogance and Animosity hold any special teachings? Or maybe Fluttering Hearts did?"
Anna didn't need her to say anything—the light blush that appeared on her cheeks was all she wanted to see. But her sister's eyes were not alert, they darted pretty much everywhere; the fog in her mind was still blurry.
"I don't think I've learned anything. I feel as lost as before."
Had a feeling.
Anna put a delicate hand on her shoulder and softly squeezed. "Hey, don't press things. Only when you feel comfortable." There was so much she wanted to do to ease the turmoil in Elsa's head. So much she wished she could do, but for once, it was an issue she had no agency on.
The voice of her own beau called to her from the middle of the busy dancefloor. Kristoff appeared in front of them, severely underdressed like he always was but with a huge grin on his face. Was that dirt on his boots?
Where did he go again?
"Anna? You promised you'd give me this one."
"Yes, I'm coming Kristoff!" She turned to Elsa and took her left hand into hers, the delicate fingers of Arendelle's queen closing lightly over it. "You'll be okay?"
"Yes, I will. Go ahead," Elsa comforted with a nod. That looked a lot better. The smile helped. She could go for a few minutes.
Anna planted a kiss on her cheek and jumped down, Kristoff's hand guiding hers into the crowd while her mind stayed with Elsa's heart.
Elsa scanned the ongoing festivities for another glimpse of that elusive tuft of red hair. Her hand came to her heart unwillingly—it always sped up when she thought about him since rebuilding their ice castle.
The books hadn't really helped—that much was true. Elsa didn't understand half of what happened in those stories. But what she had clearly read were the intertwined fates of two fulfilled people. She didn't know about Garret, but a nagging at the back of her mind murmured that she quite hadn't quite reached that fulfillment.
Her eyes scanned the grand hall once more, hoping to catch him. Instead, it was her left ear that found him.
"Excuse me, Your Majesty. There's a… cockroach that we… um, will need your help neutralizing."
She contained a yelp of surprise, whirling to face a wincing Garret. They both glanced around, but nobody was paying much attention to them.
"Sorry…" Garret said immediately.
"No issue. Is that serious?"
"Er… Pretty much?"
Elsa squared her shoulders. "I'm coming."
She followed him, swimming in his wake as he cut through the dense mass of swirling dresses and clicking heels. His large silhouette provided enough cover from any prying eyes, but her dress wasn't exactly stealthy. They finally reached the southmost door, slipping out in a synchronous step before closing the heavy gate.
Elsa immediately crossed her arms. "Very elegant, Garret. But I think no one saw us."
By pure luck. The burning hearth fire in her cheeks was not going to die out anytime soon.
Garret dusted his Lieutenant uniform. It had already been a few months of seeing him wear it almost daily, but she couldn't get used to how tight it seemed to press against him. Wasn't it uncomfortable?
"I couldn't just walk up to you and take your hand. That would have looked weird."
"So, you thought a cockroach would seem less strange? When you're the one who hears voices?"
"Heard. And I'm more and more convinced it was your voice I listened to that night, Elsa. The timelines match up."
Garret's call had stayed a mystery to them both. On one hand, she was sure she hadn't sent anything, but her powers were still bigger than her. On the other, he was sure he heard a feminine voice coming from the North but unfortunately, it had been a singular occurrence that hadn't repeated itself.
"Anyway. Please follow me, I have something to show you," he continued.
"Where are we going?" She recognized the path but still asked. He only answered with a mysterious wink. He opened one last door for her to go through, and Elsa found herself in the birch garden. Where they had first met properly, and where they had truly first shared their burdens. "Why did you bring me here?"
He flashed his characteristic cocky grin. "Told you. I wanted to show you something. Or rather, have you hear something." They walked until they were a couple of feet away from the little pond at the garden's center. "You told me you didn't like to dance because you don't like eyes on you…"
"That is correct."
"And you've only ever heard Norse music in here."
"Uh-huh."
"Here's what I thought… Why don't we try something else? Something you've never heard before. And away from everyone. Can that change your mind?"
Before she had time to process anything, the notes of a mellow carryon echoed from above. Then a voice pitched up, sending a lyrical vocalization all around. Elsa searched her surroundings; the only light came from a balcony on the east side of the castle. Garret walked closer to her and bowed low.
"They're on the upper level and facing away," he explained as he stood straight, his smile a lot softer. "Nobody can watch what happens here unless we see them too. And I made sure no one would be compelled to come."
"What are you planning?" Elsa asked with a raised eyebrow.
At that, the first words of a foreign song resounded, slow and steady. Several taps of piano keys elevated the ends of the lyrics like musical punctuation; Elsa could almost discern a meaning, even though the tongue she did not understand.
Garret started swaying ever so slightly, his hands guiding his hips left and right like a perfectly balanced and rhythmic pendulum. Soon after, his hands flew to his sides and grabbed at the hem of his cape as he deftly started to hop on his spot in sync with the joyful melody.
"You see, there's this folkloric tale I brought back with me from London…" he said. "A simple song, to be fair, but very catchy. The orchestra took a few weeks to learn and master it. I hope."
"It's from your home? Your mother's song?" Elsa asked, observing his steps with silent curiosity—and just a tinge of amusement.
"Not really, but they share a language."
"And why all this?"
"Because you always look like you're dying to join everyone for a dance."
The tempo picked up in a burst of alto and drums; the notes sounded almost mythical flowing out into the open sky while the waves of sublime verses and unknown words joined the twinkle of the stars that had created them.
Garret accompanied every pause, every cord, every pipe with some sort of movement. He glided on the humid and snowy blades of grass in an almost ghostly stride, his jumps landing with little more than barely audible plops like a wolf on the hunt. His eyes, though, never left hers.
"Garret, you look silly."
She had said that, but she was the one playing with her fingers.
"Things are only silly because you decide they are, Elsa." He smiled once more. "No one's watching."
Her heart raced again, and her feet started tapping against the ground.
You are, she thought. But you don't really count.
If there was anyone to do this with, she was watching him.
Elsa threw one final cautious look around her. Garret had been right: if anyone could see her, she could see them too—his confident grin was a guarantee that no one would spy on her.
An unexplainable impulse flowed through her. She could at least try.
Her first moves were the dancing equivalent of stammering. She felt awkward when making her small hesitant tiptoes, when taking a right turn whenever she guessed she had to, when keeping her fingers clawed together, when tugging at the borders of her dress so she did not trip over her own feet. A waltz would have been easier to execute—but she found this rhythm a refreshing alternative.
"There you go, that's the spirit!" Garret boomed with delight. He stepped mere inches before her, and she understood.
'May I?'
He didn't have to say it, she could see it. She carefully unfolded her hands and let them rest against his. Despite herself, she flashed a rueful smile.
The second they started moving again, the violin's crystalline croon joined the music, and most of her jitters melted in the joint swells of music and pleasure. The steps flowed between them like ragged sighs slipping against a silk pillow—uncertain at first, then more and more intense. His breaths, short and trembling, brushed her hair, and she saw the laughter glitter in his eyes.
The music grew, and so did that euphoric ecstasy in her head. It bloomed and flourished and jumped, and Elsa followed it.
There were a few missteps here and there; he'd miss her hand or she'd almost step on his toes. It wasn't elegant, it wasn't dignified, it wasn't even harmonious. But it was her—their dance.
"There, now try turning around."
He stepped back and let her spin at her leisure, keeping one arm above her to call her back to him with a careful whip just before she could feel dizzy.
Dipping forward and looking into her eyes, his fingers tightened around hers as his left foot came forward, surprising her foot and chasing it back. They stopped, toe to toe, and he pulled her close to him, close enough that she could see her own reflection in his pupils. He then dashed back and bowed ceremoniously as the music stopped with a final lyrical envolée that detonated like a firework.
They watched one another without a single word, their heavy breathing the only sound accompanying the rustling of the branches.
"That was…" she started.
"It was?"
She beamed at him, proud, tired, content and oh so messy.
"…fun. It was fun. I liked it very much."
Looking into the green sparkle of his satisfied eyes, Elsa was brought back to the continuous fast beating in her chest that probably wasn't only due to her dancing.
She shied and stepped backward almost by instinct. Garret had obviously noticed something was amiss, his smile beginning to fade.
"Everything all right?" he asked.
"Garret… I…"
She tried to find the words. She had to. But could she?
She was only going to create problems. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to feel. Escaping through the door was still possible.
No. I want to say this.
Perhaps it was the chocolate. Or maybe it was the adrenaline pumping through her body from the dance. In all cases, she wasn't going to run. Not from this. Not from him.
"Please, speak your mind," he said.
Garret's voice was deeper, more concerned, but always gentle. His gentleness would always surprise her despite it being one of the most endearing aspects of the man.
She gathered as much of her courage as she could.
"You're well aware, I'm not very at ease when it comes to people. I try to better myself, but it'll take work, patience, and time. However," She clasped her hands above her chest. "There's something. Beyond our ice. Something I discovered with you. I don't know what it is, but I sense it between us. It's there."
Garret slowly nodded, not coming forward, not going backward. For the first time in a while, his expression was unreadable.
"I sense it too."
Something above her stomach lifted. Was it relief? Joy? Sadness? Nevertheless, she had to go on. But she turned away, unable to meet his gaze.
"I…I couldn't…I've made things hard for you, and I fear I'm only going to make them harder. I—"
A calloused but soft finger came to her lips, shushing her. She didn't know how, but in the few fleeting instants she had looked away, he had closed the distance between them. That same finger then slowly drifted to her chin, lifting it tenderly so that she could look him in the eye.
"There's no need to say more, Elsa. Something is holding you back. I'm not the most observant person either, but I see it."
"You do?"
Garret chuckled. "You're surprisingly easy to read when one gets to know you."
Am I?
"Yes, you are."
"What?"
Could he read her thoughts? Had he seen anything during the par—
"And now you're playing back the entire evening to see what you may have let on," he added with a quiet laugh. His finger left her chin and she yearned for its touch already. Her face felt bare. "Here's what I say. We'll find out what it is. Together. If you allow us to try, I'm sure we can overcome it."
His left hand brushed a strand of her hair away from her face and cupped her cheek in a soft and fluid movement. Elsa instinctively leaned into his touch, longingly, ardently—the touch that didn't burn, that didn't hurt, that didn't scare. She almost scolded herself when one of her tears met his skin. Her own palms covered the back of his hand and latched onto his wrist feverishly. The sensation was new, a bit unsettling, but not terrifying.
He stared into her eyes with focus, with intensity.
"Let's find what you're missing. I'm not in a hurry."
Those few words took her breath away.
Of course, he would say that.
She shouldn't have doubted.
It was silly of her to doubt.
She stepped closer to him as if trying to decide on something. He watched her as she pulled him to her and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in the crook of his neck. She allowed herself to savor the moment. The weight of his arms around her back, the sensation of her cheek against his skin. It was a lot more awkward than she could have ever imagined, but she liked it.
"I can't…" For the first time in her life, Elsa didn't want to find words. For she didn't have to. "Thank you."
Opening her eyes, she was met with his beautiful smile. "Always."
And Elsa knew.
In a surge of foolishness that was a first for her, she stood slightly taller and sealed his lips with hers, softly, delicately, like butterfly wings, just long enough that she could inhale his scent, feel the small vapor of his skin. She saw that she had nearly missed; a tad on the left and her nose would have bumped against his. The contact lasted for less than a second but allowed her to imprint the feeling of him against her, a subtle touch that lingered even after they parted.
She pulled back and uttered the absolute heaviest breath she ever released, basking in an atmosphere that felt lighter than air.
His blank stare and quick blinking had her suppressing a giggle. Then, the reality of what she had done sunk in like an anchor as her face started burning more than a smith's fire.
"Oh spirits, I don't know what came over me! I'm—I didn't—I'm terribly sorry if that was bad…"
You're starting to ramble, Elsa.
Garret seemed to snap back to reality with a quick shake of his head followed by an amused smile. "No, not at all. It wasn't bad. Just… unexpected?"
"I—I—I cannot explain what happened—" You're still rambling, Elsa! "I wasn't—I didn't expect it either, and it was—"
She froze when his face approached closer and closer. His hand caressed her hair with smooth strokes before it went to her forehead, the platinum-blonde tips tickling her as he pulled them up. He then leaned in and lightly dropped the most meaningful message he could have dropped on her skin—a message that, like him, filled her with pride, with confidence, with hope.
Anna had kissed her on her forehead many times—but none of those kisses had felt like a promise.
Like an oath.
With Garret, she wasn't the woman she was with anybody else. Not a better woman, not a worse woman. Not another Elsa. Just the Elsa that she wanted to be.
She was herself. Bare. Entire. And it wasn't so bad.
"That's one surprise each. We're even," he said cheerfully. "And, Elsa… If you ever need to talk about it, or about anything else... I'm here too."
He wasn't dismissing Anna, but she couldn't hold all the answers. And Elsa didn't want her to.
"I know," she simply replied.
She hadn't even heard the new music start. The smooth ballet of slow trumpets and even slower piano was relaxing. Elsa glanced at his hands, biting her lip as a flash of hesitation passed through.
We both earned it.
She took Garret's hands in her still trembling own. This time, she would be the one leading the way.
"You still want to dance?" he asked with a suppressed laugh.
Elsa let her head rest against his chest as she guided their steps, the heartbeat she perceived under the layers of clothes as rapid as her own. At least, she wasn't the only one feeling the effects of their dances. She knew the waltz inside and out. He was very evidently not an expert, but his clumsiness wasn't bad enough to impair the flow.
"They're going to start suspecting something if we don't go back," he said, but even she could hear that he didn't mean a word.
She closed her eyes and let her heart speak for once.
"They can wait. I'm not in a hurry either."
AN: Aight. This took a bit longer than expected, but eh.
I debated for a loooooong time how to advance things between these two. It felt natural to do it this way, so I'm trusting my gut.
About Passion and Trial: it will be a second book, but published under this title. A bit easier to keep track of everything this way. I will start working on it in August, so you can expect a first chapter in early September.
Cheers to you all and thank you, thank you, thank you for sticking with me.
No theme for next chapter, since there's no next chapter. At least for Arc I. :D
It has been an honor, and see you soon.
Peace,
CalAm.