Maria sat quietly in the modest office of the Mother Abbess, the familiar scent of old wood and burning candles surrounding her like a comforting embrace. This room had always been a place of peace, a sanctuary within the convent where she felt safe, guided, and nurtured. But today, as she looked across the desk at the serene face of Mother Abbess, she felt a twinge of unease.
Mother Abbess' gaze was steady, her eyes filled with the wisdom that Maria had come to rely on. Yet there was something in her expression today that made Maria's heart beat a little faster. She could sense that this wasn't a typical conversation. Something was different.
"Maria," Mother Abbess began, her voice gentle but firm, "what is the most important lesson you have learned here, my child?"
Maria hesitated, searching her heart for the right words. She had learned so much during her time at the convent—about faith, about herself, and about the world beyond these walls. But there was one lesson that stood above the rest, one that had guided her every action.
"To find out what is the will of God," Maria replied softly, "and to do it wholeheartedly."
Mother Superior nodded, her expression unreadable. She paused, as if weighing her next words carefully. "It seems to be the will of God that you leave us."
Maria's heart dropped. "Leave?" Maria repeated, her voice trembling slightly. The word echoed in her mind, cold and uninviting.
Mother Abbess' gaze remained compassionate but resolute. "Only for a while, Maria."
She had never expected this. The convent had become her home, the sisters and her family. She had grown to love the routine, the discipline, and the sense of purpose she found within these walls. Leaving was something she had never considered. "Oh, no, Mother, please don't do that. Don't send me away. This is where I belong. It's my home, my family. It's my life."
Maria's thoughts raced. What could she have done to deserve this? She had worked so hard to prove herself, to be the kind of person who could serve God as a nun. Had she failed in some way? Was there something she hadn't done, or something she had done wrong?
"But are you truly ready for it?" Mother Abbess asked, her voice probing but kind.
"Yes, I am," Maria insisted, her voice a little too eager, too insistent. She couldn't imagine a life outside these walls, not anymore. The world beyond the convent seemed distant, almost unreal. This was where she had found her purpose, where she had been given the chance to start anew.
Mother Abbess studied her for a long moment, the silence between them filled with unspoken words. Maria felt the weight of that gaze, the gentle but firm guidance it offered. It was a look that said Mother Abbess knew more than she was letting on, that she understood things Maria hadn't yet grasped.
"Perhaps if you go out into the world for a time," Mother Abbess finally said, "knowing what we expect of you, you will have a chance to find out if you can expect it of yourself."
Maria opened her mouth to protest, to argue that she knew what was expected of her and that she could meet those expectations. But something in Mother Abbess' tone gave her pause. She wasn't being punished or cast out. This was something different, something more.
"I know what you expect, Mother, and I can do it," Maria said, though her voice had lost some of its initial fervor.
"Maria," Mother Abbess' voice was a balm, soothing and patient. There was no anger or disappointment, only understanding and concern.
Maria took a deep breath, allowing the calm of the room to settle her nerves. "Yes, Mother. If it is God's will."
Mother Abbess smiled, a warm and reassuring smile that Maria had seen many times before. "God's will is not always easy to understand, my child. But I believe this is what He wants for you now. Go out into the world, Maria. Find your place in it, and when you are ready, return to us."
Maria nodded, though her heart was heavy with uncertainty. She had come to the convent to escape the world, to find peace and purpose within its walls. Now she was being asked to leave, to return to a world she had once fled from.
Mother Abbess looked at Maria with a gentle, yet firm expression. "Maria," she began, "the reason I called you here today is to inform you that you will be staying at a convent in Vienna for a time."
Maria's eyes widened in shock. "What?" she gasped, the word escaping her lips before she could stop herself. When she was told she was going to leave, she thought she was leaving to a place just outside the walls of the convent and not Salzburg itself. The idea of leaving Salzburg, the place that had become her sanctuary, was unthinkable. Vienna was a world away, bustling, noisy, and overwhelming—a stark contrast to the peace and serenity of Salzburg.
Mother Abbess continued, her voice calm and reassuring. "I believe that a change in environment will be beneficial for you, Maria. You have grown comfortable here, but sometimes, comfort can hinder growth. In Vienna, you may find new challenges, new opportunities to serve, and perhaps even rediscover the spark and hope that you will need to become a nun."
Maria's mind raced as she tried to process this. The very thought of Vienna filled her with dread. "But Mother," Maria began, her voice trembling, "I don't want to go to Vienna. Here in Salzburg, it's always calm and quiet. I feel safe here. Life in Vienna is so different...so overwhelming. I'm not sure I can handle it."
She could see in Mother Abbess' eyes that the decision had already been made, but Maria couldn't help but plead her case. "Please, Mother, let me stay here. I'm afraid of the city, of the people with their lifestyles. It's so unfamiliar, so different from everything I've known. I don't think I'll fit in there."
Mother Abbess listened patiently, allowing Maria to express her fears. When Maria had finished, Mother Abbess reached across the desk and took Maria's hands in her own. "My dear child, I understand your concerns. But it is precisely because of these fears that you must go. You need to be challenged, to step out of the comfort and familiarity of this place and face the unknown. It is only by doing so that you will grow, that you will truly understand if this path is the one God has chosen for you."
Maria felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes. The thought of leaving everything she knew, the routine she had grown accustomed to, and the sisters who had become her family was heartbreaking. "But what if I'm not ready, Mother? What if I fail?"
Mother Abbess squeezed her hands gently. "Maria, the Lord does not give us more than we can bear. If this is His will, then you will find the strength to carry it out. Trust in Him, and trust in yourself. You may find something in Vienna that will reignite your passion, something that will confirm your calling."
Maria nodded, though her heart was heavy. She didn't want to leave, but she couldn't deny the truth in Mother Abbess' words. She had been stagnant, too comfortable in her routine. Perhaps this challenge was what she needed, even if the thought of it terrified her.
"Very well, Mother," Maria said quietly, her voice filled with reluctant acceptance. "If it is God's will, then I will go to Vienna."
Mother Abbess smiled warmly, releasing Maria's hands. "That's the spirit, my child. You will not be alone, and you will always have a place here in Salzburg to return to. Go with an open heart and mind, and trust that God will guide your steps."
Maria nodded, though the unease in her heart remained. As she left Mother Abbess' office, the reality of her new journey began to sink in. Vienna loomed on the horizon, an unknown world waiting to test her in ways she couldn't yet imagine. She could only hope that she would find the strength to meet the challenge.