Author's Note: Hello everyone! I'm sincerely and terribly sorry for such a long wait, but my holidays, unexpectedly so, started a bit earlier and durated a month! And then I came back home for a couple of days only to have another, short vacation, so not much time for me really to finish this... Sorry again, guys! Not really much else to say, despite the fact that I'm not overly satisfied with it the way it came out... Surely it has everything I wanted to put into, but at some points the words didn't come out EXACTLY the way I wanted them to... Anyways, I still hope wholeheartedly that you'll enjoy this one greatly... :)
So, I'll leave you for now... Enjoy! :)
~The Blue-eyed Spirit~
I Laid My Eyes On You
"Oh, Mum, of course I'll be careful; you know I always am!"
That's how it is, every single time, but honestly, I cannot really complain about it; I know that if I ever become a mother myself, I'll surely be like that.
"It's- it's just that you're Head Girl, Hermione… There will be so much stress and work and expectations from you… I can't help but keep feeling worried about you!" Mum keeps on her anxious rambling and I can easily see the little, shiny droplets forming and slowly escaping from the outer corners of her eyes; oh, mother…
"Oh, please, Mum, please don't cry," I ask her softly and sort of pleadingly, giving her yet again another, strong hug from my part; from above her shoulder, I throw my Dad a meaningful look, telling him silently to take the matters into his own hands and calm Mum down the way only he knows.
Oh, eternal love…
"Come on, sweetheart, calm down," Dad eventually says with that sweet, so kind tone of his that he usually only uses towards me and mostly, Mum. "Hermione's a very strong-willed and independent young woman now, dear, and knows perfectly well how to handle the demands of her duties to her magical school. She knows more about it than the pair of us and if her professors chose her between others of students, that means that they saw in our daughter all the things required so she could efficiently cope with all these demands and do amazingly well… Our little Hermione never disappointed us, why would she now?"
All three of us chuckle gently on his, rather longish monologue of reassurance, but as I see Mum nodding vividly, wiping away her few tears and laughing so gently and shakily, looking so much calmer and happier, I feel so much gratitude for Dad, for being so great and lovely and capable to handle my Mum's nerves with such delicate efficiency… oh, Daddy, you're amazing!
A quick glance to my wristwatch tells me that I really need to go, if I really want to catch the train and really become a Head Girl, that is.
Head Girl… Aw, a dream finally comes true! I'm so excited about this, all the new duties, the actual honour of choosing me, from all the girls, and—
Hermione! You're losing focus again! Hogwarts Express is to leave in a few minutes' time, remember?
Oh, right!
"Em… Mum, Dad, I really need to go now," I tell them half-coyly, giving them a sincere smile along with it. They both smile in return and rush to give me, yet again, warm and bone-crushing hugs.
"Be careful, dear; take care of yourself, eat and sleep well, spend time with Harry and your other friends…"
"Send us a letter every now and then, yes?"
"…and listen to your teachers, dear and, if chance given, don't hesitate to go out on a date with some handsome gentleman your age…"
"Jean!" Dad stops with a scandalized expression my Mum's unstoppable rambling and I laugh out loud with the hilarity of the moment.
"Don't worry, I'll do everything you've said- except from the dating of course, Dad," I answer to them both, giving at the last, hasty comment a half-humorous, half-serious smile to Dad, who seems quite irritated by the keep-going of the little joke.
Besides, it's not like there will be any dating for me; it's absolutely true, and honestly, I cannot be any happier about it.
With a last wave of the hand, a quick goodbye and another quick kiss on the cheek from my mother's behalf, I rush towards the train, dragging along my huge luggage and the little cage where ginger, sleeping Crookshanks lays as comfortably as a royal.
The sensation of riding Hogwarts Express once again, for the very last time towards the most magical school existent- not only literally- is quite overwhelming, to be honest, and for a moment I cannot do more than stare down at the busy hallway, half-packed with students that still hadn't the time to properly settle. The sounds of chit-chatting, of doors banging enthusiastically and lively, of feet running and bouncing, of owls howling and hooting slightly within their cages, all of it holds some sort of magic that warms the heart and arouses the sentimentalism within.
I love being back here.
The first thing in mind is to find Harry and hug him with all the strength I have in my tiny body; only God knows how much I miss the guy after not seeing him for almost two months; after that, the warmth and privacy of a compartment is also required and much appreciated…! Mind strictly focused on these happy thoughts, I take a few steps further down the packed hallway, till a thought strikes forcefully in my mind and keeps me wondering how the heck I managed to forget about the most important duty today:
The Heads' speech.
"Thank God I remembered it in time…" I mumble to myself and swiftly turn around to reach the first compartment of the train, the Heads' one. A little hint of pride swells inside my chest and unconsciously I keep smiling as I take determined steps towards the front of the train, towards one of the most wonderful and honourable things that ever occurred to my life thus far… For a millisecond, my mind's probed by the quite anxious thought of the absence of the other brilliant thing in my life, but right now, I really need to focus on the task in hand, and then, if lucky enough, I'll inwardly elaborate more on the slightly worrying fact of the present.
I eventually reach the compartment only to find it completely empty. I sigh and drag my luggage into the coupe along with me, pushing it quickly in the end of it, just below the window. Of course, I didn't expect any of the younger Prefects to be here right away, it's normal and acceptable, but at least I have imagined that the Head Boy would have the tendency to be here already, so we'd acquaintance each other- if we don't know each other already, that is- and discuss some about the duties and our speech to the youngers, before they start to make their appearance; but, well, no one is here but me and sleeping Crookshanks.
At that precise moment, just as the thought was being completed in my mind, I hear an almost inaudible, swishing sound… Curious to identify the source of such a sound, I turn around swiftly, already wand ready to slip from my sleeve and be grabbed by my hand, but quickly I realize that such a need is not required; I feel quite relieved when I see that it's only a flying note entering the compartment and circling around the air, slowly but surely taking its time to come towards my direction. Quite mesmerized with its graceful motions in the air, at first I only stand still, with eyes probably wide and lips slightly parted, staring at the sight carelessly; but after some short-lived moments of innocent lack of focus, I sharply turn back to reality and indicate to the note to come closer, so I will be able to grasp it and take a look to it. Sure enough, to its side, my name is written, with that neat and careful handwriting in dark emerald ink that I bet belongs to Professor McGonagall.
I quickly unfold the note and let my eyes wander to its many words and surely important meaning:
Ms. Granger,
Receiving this emergency note means that you are securely on Hogwarts Express and traveling toward Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, as well already preparing to begin with your first duties as Head Girl. The purpose of this note is to inform you that the fellow Head Boy, with whom you share responsibilities and duties, is not capable to be present at the current journey to Hogwarts. That means that the regular speech to the rest of the Hogwarts's Prefects is to be exclusively your responsibility, as well as the rest of your duties for the rest of the journey. Please note that Head Boy will appear to Hogwarts with another way of transportation, due to some matters in hand, and that he will arrive at Hogwarts no longer than tomorrow night, thus you will be able to know him and work appropriately with him as regards your year's duties.
May the rest of your trip is pleasant and uneventful,
Professor Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts.
The note leaves surely with a lot of realization, as well as big amounts of popping curiosity. Surely, a student that was chosen from the staff of Hogwarts as the year's Head Boy has all the required 'characteristics' of sorts, is responsible, hard-working, can stand pressure and the entire list of sensible things; of course, such a person would not be late to an arranged meeting without a proper reason, especially if that meeting was one of such importance as the very first Prefect meeting of the school year!
But on the other hand, I cannot help it and keep wondering… why a student somehow arranged beforehand to travel to Hogwarts somehow else? And how is that? And what are these matters in hand associating with him, so he'd be at school a day later than the rest?
And really, who is this Head Boy? I really hope it's not Draco Malfoy and one of his overly pompous ways of attracting attention…
I am so very ready to get lost in another long train of thoughts, but it comes to a halt the moment I hear the door sliding open and the first three Prefects arriving to the compartment. I recognize them as fifth years, especially with those stuck expressions of nervousness and wild observation over anything new… I smile at myself and I give them, as well, a gentle, reassuring smile, greeting them and giving them seats, already asking them their names and chatting with them till the rest of the prefects arrive.
Oh, I already love my job!
…
I breathe out the last long and relieving breath as I see the last of the Prefects departing from the compartment and starting his patrolling over the hallway of the train; however much I love this, I can't help but feeling nervous and slightly anxious over the thought of my duties.
The speech, the hints, the instructions, the long awaited questions, they all came and went, fortunately with an ease that I was fearful of lacking terribly at this point. All went well, surely, but I wasn't as confident as I really wanted to… Yes, I was alright, I didn't trip over my words, I answered all of the questions smoothly, I explained everything thoroughly and simply, as expected and wanted. However, the one thing that in a way, got to me, was the lack of this warmth I expected to feel since last night.
It never came, never here to soothe my insecurities, shoo away the tangles of worry fussing and messing with my head… I never felt my anxiousness disappear with that profound, magical easiness I was used to for the last three-or-so years…
That was the thing that got me more stressed and worried than anything else.
Ron, my dearest, gentle, blue-eyed spirit had suddenly "disappeared" a couple of days ago, just like this, and since then, I never felt him near me again, never here to wish me goodnight and warm me with his airy embrace, never here to cherish me during dreams, showing me faintly his crystal blue orbs, full of light and kindness and love. It feels slightly dreadful, not understanding his presence, and the lack of it is so unbearable at times… I know I should not be like this, I should be strong and tolerate it… N-No one said that he'd be here forever for me…
No, he said it… he promised it…
Then, where is he?
I feel some burning feeling on the behind of my eyeballs and I quickly blink it away; yes, the realization that I might have lost him, for some reason I most probably never discover, becomes nearly devastating… Who would have thought, Hermione Jean Granger, a witch always claimed clever, strong and independent, being… weak. And so very much in love with a kind, brave, yet dead young man who survives only in her heart, mind and dreams…
No, I must remain strong and confident, just like Ron always wanted me to be. It doesn't matter that he's gone so suddenly, I can feel, even though I don't know in actuality, that he had a so very good reason to never appear to me again, as well as that he still loves me… He may be dead for almost two centuries now, but his words to me will remain true and alive in me now and forever.
I take a few more minutes to gather my wits, shed a few painful tears, calm completely down and then make eventually my way out of the compartment, so I will see the one person I crave to see since the moment I arrived at King's Cross. It shouldn't be too hard to find him, as all the students are already settled in their compartments and enjoy their trip one way or another. I sigh with contentment as I scan every compartment I pass for the too-known figure of the average-height boy with the jet-black, messy hair and the glasses that came to be my best friend since first year.
"At long last, Hermione!"
Oh, here he is, blood and flesh in front of me, grinning and opening wide his arms for me to curl in… Oh, Harry…
"Umph, Hermione, not so hard!" Harry Potter whines, just like always, because sometimes he is being so boy and just wants not to show his true feelings. I back away from his hug so I can throw him a pointed look.
"Since when you find my hugs intolerable for your body, Harry?" I ask him just as pointedly, though I can feel the corner of my mouth betraying me and already trying to curl up just a bit. Harry rolls his eyes and sits again on his seat.
"Since the moment you decided to crush my bones just for fun, Head Girl," he says with a tiny smirk on his face, his emerald eyes shining with mischief that should scare me, as it is not even the first day at school; my eyebrow is shot up with sly curiosity.
"O-ho, are you calling me 'Head Girl' now, Mr. Harry Potter?" Harry nods vividly his head, a humming from his neck emphasizing perfectly his fake point. At this so very mistakenly innocent face of his I'm starting to lose it completely; oh, yeah, I can feel my midriff and lips trembling with the laughter that wants so desperately to get freed and fill the air wholly… Oh, no, I shouldn't give him the satisfaction… One deep breath, two deep breaths, three deep breaths and… I explode in laughter…
Ah… so much for trying not to lose it in front of him…
"Oh, you've improved since the last time I saw you," says Harry in his cheerful voice as he looks at his wristwatch with fake interest. I roll my eyes and try hard to swallow my sniggering while I sit next to him, turning my body to face him completely.
"Shut up, Harry," I order him jokingly and both chuckle before that so known, comfortable silence falls between us for some short moments. "I really missed you, you big baby."
He smiles at me that big, genuine smile that is only for me and the sight warms my heart instantly. "I missed you too, sis," he confesses without hesitation and takes me in his arms, already kissing my forehead with all his brotherly love. Yes, we have passed that time when we were slightly awkward around each other long ago, but that unease wasn't apparent because of any romantic interest between us, but because those strong feelings of familiarity were, back then, still new to us and we were afraid of how the other would react to them. No, we don't even have a problem to call each other "brother" and "sister". "You really have no idea how much I really missed you…"
And knowing the circumstances under which he lives, I understand how heavy and true his words are, how much he really means them. At this, I don't reply, because I don't want to ruin the atmosphere around us or his good mood, so I just sigh and let my head rest on his shoulder, already in mind of something funny to spit at him so the rest of the trip will go as smoothly and pleasantly as any other year…
…
"And this is the entrance of the Head Prefects' private dormitories."
I nod once again at Professor McGonagall, my eyes already observing the oil painting that covers the entrance, a very beautiful image of the very first Head Prefects of Hogwarts, Howard Burke and Anna Richards, perfecting little details in their appearances and already smiling to me.
"You're the new one, right?" Howard Burke asks kindly, even though he seems already sure of the answer he is about to get; despite the little fact, I am to answer to him, just due to proper manners.
"Oh, yes, indeed I am," I state sheepishly, still not that confident with saying it to others like that; both smile to me good-naturedly, but a second later, Anna Richards seems to scrutinize something.
"But where's the Head Boy? Shouldn't there be one?" At this, Professor McGonagall gives the answer.
"There is a Head Boy, Anna, but due to some matters in hand, he wasn't able to come today; I'm sure, however, that he will be here, at the castle by this time tomorrow."
Once again, her words manage successfully to trigger my sleeping curiosity, to the point of expressing it out loud. "Excuse me, Professor, for taking the liberty to ask, but what kind of matters are those, so a student of the school is to come here belatedly? Especially a person such as the new year's Head Boy."
Professor McGonagall gives me a quite careful look before answering me. "I understand, Miss Granger, that you may be quite concerned about the many of duties appointed to you and that some major appointments were slightly postponed due to the Head Boy's belated arrival, but I am not in the place to tell you at the time being the reasons of such a situation; if I am not mistaken, Professor Dumbledore is to explain the whole situation when he thinks it is most appropriate."
At this, of course, I understand that I'm not to press the subject any further. "Of course, Professor," I simply say with firm understanding. Professor McGonagall smiles at me slightly and nods once before speaking again.
"As previously mentioned, this is the entrance of the Head Prefects' dormitories; thus, there is need for a password that no one else is to know but the Head Prefects. I have to inform you, Miss Granger that this password is not to be given to you like every other password in the castle by the staff of the school, but it is to be formed solemnly by the year's Head Prefects. Considering, however, the absence of the Head Boy at the time being, I have to ask you to make yourself a password, which will be later said to your fellow Head Prefect."
"Of course, Professor McGonagall," I speak quickly, showing that I understood every tiny detail of her rather longish instructions. With another short nod, she speaks further:
"Now, for the password to be validated, you need to think clearly of it in your mind, pronouncing it with your inner voice, all the while touching the centre of the painting with your right hand's fingertips- is that understood, Miss Granger?" With my firm nod, she continues. "Alright then, you should do the procedure now, if you please."
"Of course, Professor," I speak softly, all the while my mind's already thinking hard, squeezing out any droplets of imagination existent within my mind. I try to think of my interests, of my reality, of simply everything around me, so I can possibly trigger any sort of inspiration within, so I can find some words worth of being the password I'll use for the rest of the year, along with that mysterious, absent Head Boy… I think for some odd seconds, and unsurprisingly so, my mind's filled with the melancholy of that other, much more important absence in my life, the one that somehow haunts me all these past few days… With that wondrous sensation, my entire being is filled with the feeling of his so known warmth, but quite sadly, not as a new-born experience, but as an ever so faint echo… yet, my inner eyes are widening in the beaming sight of his own, crystal blue eyes, of the gleam of his airy presence and of the grandness of his love that still engulfs me like nothing else. A smile is gladly inevitable, another, whole-hearted excuse to breathe with all I have within, and I immediately known what my password is going to be, how I'll put my dearest Ron a little more in my life, like I always yearn to…
I close my eyes, so I will be utterly concentrated on my momentary purpose; I take a deep breath, so I can feel the coolness of the air inside my lungs, its freshness energizing my mind exactly the way I want it to. Then, with utmost care, I let my fingertips hesitantly touch the oil painting- my skin there feels instantly the some roughness of the old paint on the canvas, yet the sensation seems oddly soothing… and then, I let the words fill my mind with firm gentleness:
Spiritual Magic.
A sudden, yet soothing warmth momentarily grazes the skin of my fingers, and then it faints, signaling exactly how I succeeded in the little task in hand; I smile to myself inwardly and the open my eyes, instantly looking up to Professor McGonagall, catching her tiny smile of approval. After giving me a few other instructions and a whole-hearted wish to have a good and productive school year, she takes her departure, leaving me alone to face, for the very first time, my new, little 'home' of sorts; at the forming of such a simple thought, I feel my heart being encircled by comforting balm, thus kicking a tad bit quicker my ribs due to the coziness of the moment.
"Spiritual Magic," I pronounce clearly, and after Anna's soft, gentle giggle, the entrance slides smoothly open, for the very first time showing me a tiny hint of the vast room ahead.
And vast it is! Two people are supposed to live in this part of the castle only, and the common room seems bigger than Gryffindor's one! The furniture has generally neutral colours, beige and brown, and the walls are covered either with various moving paintings and portraits or with colourful and calm to the eye tapestries. The large fireplace is already filled with the rich gold of the warm flames, which in return, gave to the entire room generously all their glory, casting their lovely, golden and pinkish shadows all over… It is like a dream, so grand and beautiful and exceptionally calm, a thing you very rarely can find in the Gryffindor common room.
As expected, on the other side of the room, there is a spiral staircase, one almost identical to the one at the Gryffindor tower, if only a bit wider. I follow the stairs almost unconsciously and I see, some short moments later, the staircase split to two; to the right, after some more steps, there was a big, wooden door with a bronze plaque on, reading 'Head Boy'; and, even though I don't need that for confirmation, a quick glance to my right shows me a reflection of the right side, only that little, bronze plaque is inscribed with the words 'Head Girl'. An essence of mere, warm pride is quite inevitable inside me, as I quickly take the required steps to approach and enter my room, my new room…
And the sight just leaves me breathless and delightful…
After some very prolonged moments of wandering around my new dormitory, examining every little detail, unpacking most of my things and watching out at the lovely view of Hogwarts's lake and countryside, I decide it's time to turn in; I should be fresh and with a clear mind on my first day of the new and final, most important term. I change into my pajamas, brush my teeth and curl into the coziness of my warm, big bed. And as I turn off the lamp on my nightstand and let my head rest on the fluffy pillow, my mind instantly drowns in the too known thoughts, the good, peaceful and warm ones, blended with those of the mild melancholy and nostalgia, with that growing feeling of somewhat emptiness and loss…
Where is he; that is all my restless mind can ask and ask, especially during these times of the night, when everything is dark and distant and I'm alone and still, unable to focus on anything else but his grand, extraordinary and absolutely unique kindness and love… these things that I'm missing for a time that shouldn't be considered long, but in my heart, it seems vast, hollow and even slightly unbearable…
"R-Ron?" I whisper hesitantly in the still of the night, fearfully eager for a so anticipated and desired response… I wait and wait, but the only thing I can hear is my somewhat uneven breathing and the ticking of the clock nearby, signaling that seconds, minutes are passing without the sensation of his rich, velvety voice filling my ears and caressing my eardrums, without the feeling of his tangible warmth once again embracing me like I crave to every night, for the rest of eternity… Sometimes I consider myself so very selfish, just because I yearn to be near him again, in this so unusual, yet so wanted, contact of ours, where I always keep on expecting his presence next to me, filling with his flawlessness all my gaps and imperfections, just because he desires to do so, as well, in a procedure easier than breathing or blinking…
But, on second thought, is love really selfish? Giving so eagerly and without-second-thought your entire being to someone else, letting him do whatever he craves with it… is that an example of greed?
The some amounts of dull pain struggle me inevitably, to the point where a lump forms in my throat and my eyes sting some with unwelcome wetness. Frankly, I never guessed that such a time, such a moment would be ever experienced, not after his disclosure to me, never with him being the sole reason… but no, I cannot really blame my Ron, it is surely not his fault, he would never… He is not like that, he is not some random, hormonal teenager of today; he is a man of another time, one cherished with genuineness, kindness and that beloved, dusty chivalry that is rarely found nowadays, especially of this unique, soothing kind…
No, Ron did not abandon me- he just… had his reasons to stay apart, for time indefinite…
A tiny sob manages to slip out of my lips, along with some little, rebellious droplets of salty water. I let them graze my skin till they fall from the cliff of my jaw and get absorbed by the awaiting fabric. I close my eyes tightly and gulp down deep, deep breaths, so my little heart will get a bit calm and reassured, reassured that everything will get better, that this is just a little, necessary obstacle that will eventually lead to unblemished bliss… At that tiny promise, at that little, hushed whisper of soothing, that little organ inside my ribs quits its urgent pumping and gradually falls to an even, relaxed rhythm- and that's all I need at the time being…
Being too exhausted with the day, with the duties, with the melancholic thoughts haunting my mind and probing thoroughly my well-being, it is not that hard to simply close my eyes and get lost in an outer space of wonderful nothingness… A deep breath, a light exhalation and a childish nuzzle on the pillow are all needed for me to start my wandering towards dreamland…
If only I had that wonderful, blue-eyed fellow traveler with me…
…
Excitement cannot fully explain what conquers inside my soul at the time being, as I'm sitting down at a desk near the front, awaiting with too much energy and impatience for the very new term to begin with Charms.
The too-known classroom is genuinely filled with the happy chatters of classmates that haven't met for too long and of course, didn't have the appropriate amount of time to fill each other in with all their news about that summer that has just expired. I myself exchanged some words with fellow classmates eagerly, but after some moments, the thrill of being back to class was- and still is- so huge, that I am not able to participate anymore in such activities; I'm just happy with listening to everyone else's harry ramblings, because the laughter and the excitement in everyone's words make my heart warmer and more joyous.
After not that long, I am so very glad to hear Professor Flitwick's high-pitched and good-natured voice echoing all over the classroom, thus most of the talking around it ceases with much eagerness. The tiny Professor is way too happy to see us all- he says so with a keen exclamation- and at the time he is about to start saying to us about this last year's curriculum and demands of the class, the door gently slides open.
I hear the steps clearly being taken, a thing that seems quite weird, to be honest. Another thing that also tickles my curiosity is exactly that complete lack of curio for such a sudden interruption of the lesson from my part. I want to believe that I know myself quite well, thus if I ever realized that, for some out-of-order reason, a class was interrupted, I would be so very eager to find out what is going on, but right now, all I can feel, for some unidentified reason, is that wave of warm serenity, blending so very nicely with the still apparent energy inside my spirits. With ears wide open, so I can still hear what is going on, I reach for my most favourite quill and after caressing with much care the first page of my charms' book, I start writing down, with slow motions and precision, my full name, along with my house and the year I'm in.
"Professor Dumbledore! What is the reason of your presence here?" I hear Professor Flitwick's voice; sure enough, the following words are wrapped with the wisdom and the peacefulness of the greatest wizard I have ever had the lucky chance to meet.
"I am sorry to interrupt your lesson, Filius, but there is a little announcement I would like to make myself to your students.
As you all here may know, all young wizards and witches take their letters at the age of eleven in the course of attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. However, I would like to say that we are glad to welcome to our academy a new student that will finish his education here, with all of you, at Hogwarts; he is already sorted into the house of Gryffindor and he will attend all the classes of the seventh and final year, and therefore, I would like to ask all of you to greet our new member here, welcome him warmly, despite the house you are in, and show him the hospitality of this house for all us wizs."
I listen so very carefully to Headmaster, and I have to say that I am completely astonished! A transfer student to Hogwarts; that's unheard of! But, despite how surprised and interested that piece of information got me, I still keep on my slow, deliberated moves of the wrist, making sure to write as neatly as possibly feasible all my information…
Hermione Jean Granger, Gryffindor House, Seventh—
"I'd like you to please welcome to our academy Mister Ronald Weasley!"
R-R-Rona… What?
My heart suddenly stops for a bit, my midriff stiffens for a second and the sound of my quill falling down is being captured by my buzzing ears…
Buzzing, yes… I'm sure they're buzzing, because, because just now, at that precise moment I think that I heard Dumbledore saying… saying… pronouncing that- that name…
Ronald Weasley…
I'm about to gasp, loudly so, or possibly to faint- I really don't know what my hyperactive, almost rebellious system is preparing for myself. My blood is all warm, pumping so very fast inside my lively veins that I can hear the pumps in my ears, clearly feeling them in my eardrums. My heart is wild, so very impatient, desiring more than anything to be set free from that horrible bounds of the body, to escape from that sudden torture of insecurity and doubt and everything… How-How can I imagine such things- it's almost ridiculous! No, I love him with all my heart, with all my soul, with every tiny, little hint of my whole being, yet I shouldn't go as far as obsessing so wildly, almost sickly… Yes, I love him, I want him next to him, I simply cannot see the rest of my life without his presence near me, and yet I ought not to let my mind get like that, hearing suddenly his name in every sentence, in desperation of his so abrupt absence from my life…
Or…or is it not a figment of my despair? My heart is beating harder, my breath's held, my entire body and soul shouting at me to check, to make sure…
And I look up for the very first time since the name is possibly announced, and yet, the reactions of my body do not subside; they get wilder, if not remaining the same…
For the first time I recognize the fainting sound of clapping from the rest of the class, as they all warmly welcome the newcomer to the school- after all, we're sharing this class with the Ravenclaws. For a moment, a tiny, little millisecond, I think that I may seem rude, looking with wide eyes up, all frozen, not clapping at all; what an example I give to the rest of the students, as a Head Girl?
Yet, that little matters now, want to believe it or not, because the only think I'm able to do right now is staring up… up to him.
Indeed, next to Professor Dumbledore, there is a boy- or better, a young man- standing high and calmly, looking around peacefully. Yes, even at such a distance, the aura around him is clearly one of smoothness and sooth, one of serenity that really does not, cannot, fit to a normal human being. He is tall, exceptionally so, and lean, and he is dressed in his Hogwarts robes, his tie of burgundy and gold neatly tied around the neckband of his snow-white shirt. His skin, well, his skin is extremely white as well, like marble or pure, fresh milk, yet that bright, smooth skin seems dusted perfectly with specks of light cinnamon, tiny freckles that bring to the man a wonderful, almost palpable innocence and beautiful essence of youth. The young man's lips seem red and full, soft to the sight and surely to the touch, forming still a peaceful, small smile that could make every bad in the world cease like it is nothing… Atop that nicely formed face, there is a strange, neat mess of sandy hair, a so stunning blend of red and gold itself, a colour not glaring, but brilliant, warm and soothing, a colour that seems so very playful with the gold of the sunbeams, so very silken and striking… But, even though all these exceptional characteristics make my heart tighter with balm and my stomach naughtier, it is not them that make my head almost dizzy with the sudden realization, all warm and astonished and bewildered at the very same second…
This… This pair of big, round, gleaming, crystal blue eyes…
These eyes that right now are looking straight to me, right through me, into my very soul, deep into the depths of my blissful heart…
The light gasp is inevitable now, yet I don't mind it, I cannot possibly care about it... Ron… Ron, my dearest, blue-eyed spirit, is here, somehow, in flesh, very much alive, despite the detail that he is dead for the past two hundred and eighteen years, looking at me with these serene eyes I came to adore for so long, yet now, they are accompanied with the rest of him, a presence I ever saw before, yet I immediately catch myself loving more and more…
The love for this man seemed huge and invincible to me till now, but right now, that I still shocked stare at him and feel my heart, yet again, all soothed and calm and so exceptionally warm and alive, I know for sure that our love, the entire pallet of our so pure feelings for each other is bigger, fuller, purer and much more vivid than ever, ever before…
All I want to do is touching him, making absolute sure that he is really here, all alive and smiling, already inscribing to memory his every small characteristic, breathing in his warm scent of earth and apples that is already teasing my nostrils with the loveliest way possible…
And most of all, I want to fall into his warm embrace, the one of long, strong arms, feel his balmy breath caressing my skin smoothly and ask him to talk to me, to say my name, to confess to the entire world how much he loves me, so I can say it back, so I will be able to look deep in his eyes again and say that I love him with all my self…
I still stare up to him, as he gives me another glance before looking once back towards the whole classroom, eyeing calmly the rest of the classmates with a tiny, grateful smile, a half-nod and a gentle wave of the hand. He remains silent as Professor Dumbledore leaves with a wish of a good, productive school year, as Professor Flitwick is showing him an empty seat on the front to take… just two seats diagonally from my own, too close for my heart to endure yet, yet too far away from my itching fingertips to touch him, seize him and feel him and never let him go…
"Hermione…" I hear a hissed voice, but I shrug it off with my mind- nothing else matters but his presence, still grand, brilliant and amazing. "Hermione, you ok?"
At this little, so concerned whisper, I somehow manage to unfroze and turn my head suddenly around, actually whipping it, my eyes looking, with still so daze in them, at the leaning figure of a sitting, quite alarmed Harry.
"W-What?" I only manage to choke out.
"You ok?" Harry asks me again, this time more anxiety laces his low voice. "You seem quite flashed all of the sudden…"
I avert my eyes away from his own, slightly prying ones. I know that he's just worrying for me, that he doesn't suspect a single thing, but still, I feel quite uncomfortable at the time being. "I'm alright, Harry, no need to worry… It's just, I feel quite warm, that's all."
I know that the excuse is quite lame, that Harry doesn't really buying it, that he's still a tad uneasy, but as I firmly turn my head around, watching intensely at Flitwick's resumed class, I also understand that he is not going to press on it more right now, just due to the fact that he very well knows not to occupy me for inessential things during classes.
For that, I couldn't be any more grateful right now… Because, even though I'm not really paying much attention to what is said by the professor, I surely do not need any sort of distractions.
All I keep doing is wondering and musing incessantly, as well as secretly observing the one man I thought till this morning that I had lost forever…
…
The hours are flowing, steadily, yet with speed unknown. Sometimes, I feel like the minutes are expiring so very slowly, like dragging their last breath as much as feasible, too desperate to stay alive that they're struggling with everything they have on Earth… On the other hand, sometimes I feel like the seconds are participating on a running match, trying to outdo themselves and reach first the end of time… and this happens mostly when I lose myself staring at that young man with the red hair and the blue eyes, the new, so silent Gryffindor that has captured my heart long before he ever set his foot on this school…
The classes start and finish quite quickly today, but I don't really know where to blame this little, mere fact. For my part, I am quite a bit quieter than usually, just because every time I try to speak, I feel the loud thumps of my heart closing my throat and my breaths insufficient for the act of speaking. Still, my eyes remain naughty, trying at every possible second to take a glimpse of Ron, a thing that immediately brings a chain of reaction to my entire body. My mind is quite unfocused, yet I am so very glad to decipher that I'm still very much able to participate in class and even give some very right answers (and I'm also glad to say that every time I did so during the day, a pair of so known eyes was shifting to take a good, calm look of me…).
Ron, even though he comes to every single class we have with responsibility and punctuality, remains completely and utterly silent, like a mute, all the time. His deep, so smooth voice I came to worship over the years so far hasn't been heard in any of the classrooms or corridors, his kind, soft words haven't still been echoed around the ancient, stone walls- a thing that slightly disheartens me.
What am I going to do? My heart keeps pounding harder and harder, yelling to me to gather some courage and go to him, talk to him, even hug him with all the strength apparent in my tiny body… but, but I feel so shy, so… disorientated… I want to do so many things, all at once, but the lack of order and patience so very apparent inside my head, most probably for the very first time at this extend, keeps me unable to do so… and then, I feel somewhat unsure, unsure of what I should do…
Oh, Merlin, just help me!
The bell just suddenly rings, startling me a bit as it is indicating that the classes are officially over for today and that in a few hours' time we all will be attending dinner. I sigh as I close my books and gather my quills, wondering still how the day passed so quickly. As I bend down to put a few things in my bag, I just feel this odd sensation, like I'm being watched by someone… I'm not really alarmed, just confused, and I shift my pupils to look up from my current position, searching for a confirmation of such an instinct from behind my thick eyelashes.
My heart yelps instantly, as my eyes are make contact with a pair of eyes across me; clear blue, big and round, and absolutely tranquil…
My breath's lost somewhere between my throat and lungs, yet I know that I don't mind at all… I'm in Heaven now, that's for sure…
Ron is still gazing at me, his eyes so bright that the spring's sun should be envious. Then, only a millisecond later, he cherishes me with a beam so grand and beautiful that makes my knees weak and my heart more drunk... and… and I cannot… breathe…
He still smiles at me a bit more, till he suddenly averts his brilliant eyes away from me, looking for a tiny second somewhere near me, to a thing I really don't know and I don't have the mental strength to look for- all my attention is solely on him, wholeheartedly. And then, after blessing me with another, minute smile full of angelic mirth, he stands up gracefully and takes his departure silently as ever, leaving me alone and bemused…
Why… Why didn't he speak to me? I-I thought… I was sure that he would talk to me, say to me even a sacred word…
Quite sad all of the sudden, I try to put the remaining objects of mine inside my bag so I can get out of class. My hands are trembling some and are threatening to let fall everything they have in grasp. I take a deep, deep breath to tame my small amount of nerves some, maybe even shoo away any teasing sentiment of sudden sadness or disappointment, but suddenly all kinds of similar thinking are fading, as something strange catches my eye.
Right there, on top of my notebook's currently open page, I see a delicate handwriting, one that doesn't belong to me or anyone else that I know, for the matter. It confuses me quite a lot, as I don't remember anything being written there- how suddenly this appears, out of nowhere? My curiosity, among other things, snaps wide awake, and I quickly lean down to read what it is written:
I would be exceptionally happy if you wanted to come and see me; I would like to talk to you… I will be by the fountain of the clock tower courtyard for the rest of the day…
Ron
The short note makes my heart swell with the warmth and the love… He wanted to talk to me, he wants to see me and speak to me! Oh, of course, how could I be so immature and childish? How could I ever doubt his feelings, his so solid and sincere promises?
Oh, my God, I need to see him, to lay my eyes on him, to feel him and his eyes and his scent…
I can't stand it anymore…
I push into my bag everything else that's still on the desk, uncaring of neatness or anything; the need inside my heart is too heavy, too big to ignore right now. I stand up and swiftly run, quickly planning in my mind the next step, the one that will get me closer and closer to that piece of my heart…
Come on, you thin, little legs, don't betray me now…! Run faster!
My breaths are coming out as gasps already, as I'm climbing up the grand staircase, trying with all my power to reach the fourth floor. My heart, with both the impatience of the oncoming meeting and the so hasty running of mine, thunders inside my ribcage, kicking the bones with wild protests, only craving for that unique sight of his, so it will eventually rest in that utter peace only he can guarantee to my despaired self. I eventually reach the floor and my running gets even more frenzied, if possible, as I push people that get in my way, for the moment unimportant obstacles that waste seconds of my life away from Ron. After some seemingly long and agonizing moments, I eventually see the big clock before my wide eyes, teasing me in a way I never expected. The sight, however, manages also, somehow, to give some sort of power to my legs, and despite the quite sharp, shooting pains in my side, I keep on my running, unable to give up, not now that I'm so close to fulfilling… The clock gets bigger and bigger in my sight, till I can't see it whole anymore, and that's when I abruptly turn around to catch the wooden railing of the stairs and climb them down, so I'll head to the courtyard… to him…
At sight of the last few remaining steps, I decide to jump, maybe gaining some time if I don't fall on my knees, or worse, on my face. Thankfully, I'm successful to the simple task in hand, and after taking the largest gulp of air yet, I hurry myself to the courtyard, towards the sound of the running water of the still-functioning fountain, in hopes of—
Oh, Circe, I have thought that my breath was lost, but no, now it is, at the plain sight…
He is here; my Ronald is here, standing so beautifully there, next to the fountain, looking behind him at a couple of birds chirping in between the leafage of the pear tree growing at the corner. My heart skips a beat or two in the brilliance of the view, as all the balm and the love and the tranquility nest again deep into my chest, and somehow, I manage to regain somewhat my breathing, even though the sight is so breathtaking… And my nostrils, as they are fluttering in their try to welcome those essential amounts of oxygen inside, they are also capturing, not the aroma of the still apparent pears nearby, but that so familiar, heart-warming scent of sweet apples and earth that makes my head almost dizzy with delight… And my ears, they are buzzing with the delight, as well, and my fingertips, these are itching with the want to be teased by the sure softness of his skin, of the warm silkiness of his hair…
My senses are getting haywire, just because Ron is here, once again next to me… yet, it so very different this time…
And then, just like he manages to sense me with a weird, sixth sense of his, Ron turns around his head towards me, his big eyes immediately falling to my face and his lips instantly morphing into a serene beam full of adoration… adoration for me…
And, God, I just cannot take it anymore, I just run to him, straight into his open, awaiting arms, and fall into them, a so relaxing proof that he is indeed here, that I'm not dreaming any of this, that he is really somehow alive and breathing and right now, he is tightly and lovingly embracing me for real…
I can feel his breath, warm and gentle on my cheek, on my temple… the sensation amazing, truly awesome, my heart and my head drowning in utter bliss that I cannot simply describe or even decipher…
"I finally got you, my flower…" I hear his smooth, warm whisper in my ear, as he finally speaks for the very first time after so long days of intolerable absence, and his words make me lightheaded with happiness I never thought of experiencing before… This… this is so much…
And I simply cannot handle the vividness of my emotions anymore, or the stimuli that encircle wholly, body and soul… So I simply give in to the momentary, sweet weakness, and slowly, everything gets out of focus, till blackness engulfs me…
-Well, that's it! They're together for good this time! I really hope you all enjoyed the outcome, but still, there is a lot to come in their new-born kind of relationship... On another note, I'd like to apologise for any sort of mistakes... sometimes, I just get too tired for a complete proof-reading...
-And really, what your little author asks right now is to write down your opinion in a so worthy review... That means really a lot to the tired author... :)
-Honestly, this time I'll try harder to get the next chapter up more quickly... yet, no promises made! Anyway, see you around the next time! :)