Author's Note: Hello everyone! Sorry for the little delay of the chapter, but anyways, here it is now! A couple of things before you read the chapter; my beta informed me that sometimes a reference to a girl's lungs from a boy can be interpreted or misinterpreted as a reference to her chest. Well, I had no idea that this kind of thing can happen (and I find it quite funny, but, oh well), so when I wrote some of Ron's lines (you'll see what I mean) I certainly didn't mean for him to refer to Hermione's chest. Just so you know. After that, I'd really like to thank the reviewers from last chapter; this anonymous Guest, who actually thought that I'm a professional writer. Well, I'm not (even though I wish I was), but your few words certainly made my day! And a big tanks to Sandrinha2, for her so detailed and insightful review, one that really depicted how I feel about each of the characters in this AU story. Actually, your 'wish' came true, because this chapter has a great deal to do with Ron's past. :)
Another big thank you to my great beta, ObssessedRHShipper! :)
So, Enjoy! :)
The Blue-eyed Spirit
~Hermione's Favors ~
My eyes are closed lightly and I feel serene, wrapped in the coziness of the Prefects' common room during this Friday night, after a quite exhausting day of lessons, essays, research in the library, a test, and corridor patrol until curfew. My bones are still somewhat aching, my toes were, until very recently, cramping awfully often and I also had a bit of headache; and it's still just mid-November, for Circe's sake! Being here for the very last year and also being a Head Girl can be quite tiring, to be frank, and I don't know how I'm going to properly handle that when I know that I have at least another six months of doing the same amount of work- if not more! And it's certainly going to be more, loads and loads of more to work and stress about, like the N.E.W.T.s, and the Head responsibilities, and the future—
Oh…
My fretting over all these things is gradually subsiding into a lulling hibernation, a comfortable coma, as I can sense feathery touches across my temple, down to my cheek and faintly to my jaw line, then up to my temple again, where familiar skin massages gently, so any existent pressure can go away, like it was never here to torture me. I hum in appreciation and snuggle a bit closer to Ron's so warm body; in response, feeling his arm around me wrapping more securely and tightly around my figure make us both more comfortable.
"Headache gone at all?" he asks me almost lazily, even though I can detect some hints of concern lacing with his tone. I sigh and nod once.
"Like it was never apparent; thank you," I respond lightly and nuzzle a bit to his chest, seeking more of his warmth, if possible. I try to hear and feel his heartbeat from under his shirt and muscle, seeking the nicest of comforts. The palm on my face spreads a bit, so the thumb can caress my cheekbone, all the while the rest of his long, pale fingers can entangle with my unruly locks of brown hair, even massage ever so slightly my scalp with their pads. I sigh again, feeling more and more like a puddle, a boneless body within his arms and under his kind ministrations.
"It's nothing," he replies after a second, his voice deep and smooth just like always. "I just felt you were a bit tense for a minute there…" His words surprise me a bit, because I didn't understand I was so obvious with my inner worries. But then again, Ron has, most of the time, an intuition regarding me, sensing almost all of my emotional states and moods, as well as managing to smooth them if they tend to sharpen to a point, which is unhealthy or worrying, taking them away from my soul. However odd it may seem from the outside, I am somewhat glad that he has such an instinct addressed solely on me, because, in a way, it shows how connected we are to each other, our souls bonded tightly together in a unity inescapable. I can be more sure about that than the next dawn occurring.
"I was thinking about the exams and things like that, that's all…" I mumble and shrug, not wanting to worry him without reason- or at least a serious one. Ron rubs his hand reassuringly on my forearm, giving me a sensation of inner strength spreading from his fingers inside my veins, quickly starting its journey within my body. After many minutes, I eventually open my eyes and lean my back backwards and a bit to the side, so I can stare up at him slightly from an angle; to my aid, Ron turns his head as well, cocking it cutely to one side, so we can face each other properly. I cannot help but smile up to him, widely and sweetly, and he returns the gesture eagerly, even though his small grin manages somehow to be lovelier and much brighter than my own, huge beam.
"Don't worry about it, my flower. You're an exceptional and determined mind and I have faith that you'll do great with your exams… no, not just great- outstanding!" With the sound of his warming, so gratifying words and his serious face that holds nothing but sincerity, I smile even more, but then, a spur of playfulness appears and feeling like following it along, I instantly shot my eyebrow up, giving him a curious look.
"Exceptional and determined mind, eh? So that's all I am to you, Mr. Weasley- a mind?" I ask him, faking quite badly my supposed offense and severity over the situation. I instantly see Ron's eyes shining up with happiness and an adorable, little smile tugs on his luscious lips as he slowly leans closer to my face, taking my breath away as he parts his lips with the intention of replying.
"No…" he almost whines in protest and, even though I would never have guessed, I almost swoon at such an endearing tone in his voice. "No, you're not just a mind to me…"
"…And? What else I am, according to you?" I ask further, a bit impatient as a few moments passed with him purposely not explaining further. He hides his minute chuckle before giving his answer.
"Well…" he starts slowly, his wide eyes wandering around my face, as in deep thought about what he is to say to me. "You are a very compassionate and caring heart… an independent and free spirit, yet eager to please everyone she cares about… mmm, what else…?" he wonders aloud and makes it even harder for me to suppress my giggles, because, despite its warming sensation, it is still funny, seeing him give his best performances just for me. "Ah! Can a well-functioning respiratory system count in this?"
"Ron! Enough with my body's organs!" I exclaim in my less-than-adequate act, hitting him lightly on his arm. A loud, sincere laugh explodes out of him and for a moment, I am simply lost to the so pure, exhilarating sound. After some long moments, Ron's laughter subsides and he shifts his look on me again, with his bright beam always plastered on his face.
"You're also very kind, good-mannered, responsible, great and brave and a curious witch in that good way that you can never explain fully… and you're stunning, inside and out." His words now flow like water, fast and smoothly, like there were always somewhere inside his mind, eager to spill out. The tone used is a low one, deep and almost husky as he peers into my eyes, letting them not escape away from such a crucial connection. It is breathtaking and makes my heart dance wildly in my chest, because being praised like this by such a wonderful creature is nearly awe-inspiring. Of course, the little, sweet peck that follows, just to ensure that the previous sayings are accurate and heartfelt, manages to stop the functioning of my mind for a bit. I lick my lips unconsciously, trying to find some remaining taste of Ron's lips somewhere in my lips and I open my eyes slowly, wondering silently when I closed them in the first place.
"Thank you, my dear," I whisper absentmindedly, feeling my cheeks getting hotter in sudden shyness. He smiles down to me almost invisibly, just a mere, lovable upwards twist of the corners of his lips as his eyes, more serious, yet not in a hard, stony way, gaze at mine, as the fingertips of his left hand barely caress my cheekbone and temple.
"It's the truth…," he breathes simply, in a soft tone that implies that I have to understand the facts he was mentioning before. We look at each other for a bit, simply staring for an indefinite eternity, not caring or minding, because this kind of peace is beautiful, especially when shared with such an equally beautiful creature. The atmosphere, even though quite plain in its warmth and coziness, holds a beloved essence of great intimacy, a sacred essence that should be held forever in my heart. I do not wish to break it or scare it away, but enhance it, enhance that amazing sensation of closeness between us, if that is possible. And then, suddenly, yet amazingly, happily so, an idea comes to mind that can possibly help such an important want to occur- if only Ron has absolutely no problem with it…
"I have an idea!" I immediately exclaim to Ron, making him concentrate on me on a whole new level, his eyes wider and curious and his lips a bit pursed in surprise and wonder.
"What is it?" he asks innocently, his hand on my shoulder absentmindedly stroking parts of bare skin just above my collarbone, making me feel a bit flustered in a good way, but I quickly proceed on telling him further of my little thought.
"I wonder if, you know, you can maybe tell me things…" I start, feeling a bit self-conscious about his possible reaction, because the previous time I asked him slightly indirectly about this, he politely said that he would do this at another, more proper time, when he could feel ready… what if this time hasn't appeared yet?
"What sort of things?" Despite the reassurance hidden in his voice and words, it takes me a few seconds before replying.
"A-About your past… you know, in Wales…"
Ron himself remains silent for some seconds, to the point where they seem like days without his answer and with that look of serious thought and concentration. But as I'm about to shrug off the idea as a stupid one, telling him that it's alright not to want to talk about it, maybe even apologise in case he feels uncomfortable with this kind of attention on him, he opens his mouth and speaks softly, cheerfully, eagerly.
"Sure! Ask away and I hope I won't bore you so much…"
"There is no chance of this happening!" I exclaim, laughing incredulously over the fact. How can he even think of such a prospect! "You lived during an entirely different period of time, in a wizarding community… There are so many things I want to know!"
"And here is the knowledge lover I know and love!" Ron teases me, smiling brilliantly as he probably sees my reddening cheeks and chuckles for a second before saying softer, shifting his body closer to mine so our sides can touch completely. "So… where should I start?"
"Your family! Tell me all about your family!"
"Well, you know some basics about my family," he starts nonchalantly, bringing me even closer to him with his arm around my shoulders, resting his cheek comfortably to my temple so I can barely feel the moves of his lips and cheek as he speaks. "A ridiculously large family; seven children, all boys except for the youngest, my only sister, Ginny. My parents, my grandparents from my father's side, as well as grandmamma from my mother's side… Of course, our family was much, much bigger than that, but at the Burrow, it was only us… well, if you can refer to twelve people as 'only us'…" He laughs softly and I laugh along for a bit, until my curiosity strikes again.
"What's the Burrow?"
"Oh, our home back in Wales; Grandpa Weasley named it that when he built it, and honestly, it's true to its name, in a way… You know, weasels leave in burrows, so, in a way, it brings a very nice, warm essence of closeness and familiarity, and makes the bond between our home and us even stronger. It was a paradox of a house in some ways, with too many floors and asymmetrical due to the constant additions of new rooms, but in the end I don't think I would have it any other way. I was born in this house and I was brought up there; each little corner and piece of furniture has a story to tell, a memory owned…it was a true home, to all of us."
I am speechless, almost breathless with the way he speaks, so beautifully and earnestly, almost passionately about his home, a thing that for some is plain walls and a roof, but to him… He put into words a whole philosophy about the significance of such a place without pompousness though, but with a so sincere and wholehearted, deep emotion that stirs from within, from the feelings arisen by the recollection of sweet, fond memories of the past. For a moment, we both remain silent, I because I am still pondering on the grandness of his words, and Ron probably due to wandering in his past, someplace in Wales, thinking of his large family and the home he came to adore deeply.
"So…" I eventually ask him after another couple of minutes in complete and comfortable silence, "Tell me more about your family members. So many people living under the same roof; it must have been something else!"
"Indeed!" Ron laughs merrily, his eyes shining handsomely, yet in a naïve, youthful way as well. "So many, different people… sometimes we reacted and behaved so differently, that other people wondered if we really were family! Of course, that notion was plainly stupid, considering we were all freckly redheads who looked too much alike, but it was fun anyway. It would be kind of boring with twelve people being identical in character with each other…
"Anyways, where should I start from? Well, firstly, there are the Weasley grandparents; Grandpa Septimus was a very warm, joyous man and loved us all dearly. He played with us without complaining, despite his back problems. He also tended to spend time with each of us individually; quite a miracle, if you ask me, but he did it, and I'm glad he did. He spoke to each of us, and he talked with us about everything, trying to bring the good out of each and every one of us. He told us stories about his travels when he was younger, and how he coped when his own family was too poor and he was struggling with everything, but in the end, how he always managed to have everything for his family, if only there was hope and hard work and love. He was brilliant and I loved him greatly…he taught me how to play chess, along with dad, and he taught me how to play the bagpipes."
"You can play the bagpipes?" I ask him incredulously, simply unable to believe the mere fact, even though he seemed really sincere when he was saying it.
Ron looks at me and exhales a faint laugh before replying,
"Em, yeah, sure. Well, I'm not as good as grandpa was and 'til I was good enough, my family struggled and gritted their teeth a lot. In the end, I could play enough so I could entertain them a bit… And it was nice to spend time with grandpa Septimus as well.
"Then, there's Grandma Cedrella, dad's mother. She was a very sweet woman; she would spoil us all a bit, like giving us a biscuit before dinner or when mum punished us… and if she was in an especially good mood, she would do some of our chores magically, so we could have more spare time and play. She was amazing, really, but, poor grandma, she got ill quite often. She had a weak body and Grandpa Septimus was worried so much about her- he really loved her, and she, too. She was disowned by her family, because she associated with such a poor blood traitor…
"After that, there's Grandmamma Lucinda, mum's mother. She and mum looked too much alike, and behaved in many ways the same. She was a bit strict, but she was only so because she wanted all of us to be raised right, not to be spoilt and arrogant, for the boys to be right gentlemen, and Ginny, a proper witch and lady, so she could find a good wizard to marry afterwards. She spent a lot of time with Ginny for that reason, teaching her how to knit, sew, and do the housework, because mum had a lot of other things to think about and do than to show her properly. Of course, she also spent time with the rest of us, telling us stories about how kind and brave Grandpa William was and helping us a lot with our homework. I know she really loved us all, even though she wasn't as affectionate as grandpa or grandma, but she really cared about us, only showed it in a different way.
"Mum and Dad were the greatest people on Earth; they were a lot like their own parents, dad so gentle and eager to please, affectionate and difficult to anger and really tried to spoil us at times, when mum wasn't around." At this, Ron laughs gently for a moment, his eyes a bit unfocused, most probably having a particular incident in mind that brings joy to his heart. "Mum was a bit stricter, but only to be able to tame the havoc in the house, considering that dad was more of an eighth child than a husband… but I guess by that secret, little smile of hers at times that she wouldn't have it any other way. She was born to be a mother and a wife, an exceptionally good one at that, warm and affectionate when she didn't fret over the chickens' feeding or the gnomes in the garden or our dirty clothes or cooking enough food so no one got malnourished. She would complain at some point, when we would be so very naughty or improper or when we didn't do our homework in time, but she never believed it. She really loved her family like nothing else in the world. She would tell us from time to time how proud she was of what she had and how she wouldn't change it for the entire world.
"And now, it time for us, the children… But, hey, haven't I bored y—"
"Don't even think about it, Mister!" I exclaim instantly, not even letting him complete his quite ridiculous question. "How could you possibly think that? This- your family seems amazing, and completely different from my own, minuscule one! That home must have been full of noise and life and love; chaotic, maybe, but one you come to adore, really! So, please, Ron, keep going."
Ron smiles adoringly down at me, his fingers gently pinching my cheek. "Alright there, my beauty, if you're so sure about it…"
"I definitely am…" I mumble persistently, snuggling more comfortably in the softness of his embrace and chest. He chuckles and shifts a bit too, making himself cozier as he takes a deep breath.
"So, the next generation of the Weasley clan… Let's see… First, Bill's born, about ten years older than me. He's a very agreeable fellow; everyone liked him in the village and just everywhere he would go… very smart, kind, yet quite funny as well. I think people now have a word that may suit him… err, chill?"
Ron looks at me quizzically, his thin eyebrows a bit furrowed. I try to understand what he wants to say for a bit, my own brows knitted in thought and then, it pops to mind.
"You mean cool?"
"Oh, I think this may be right…" he says after a second and then continues. "He was a true gentleman, yes, very proper and responsible, but there was something to him that instantly draws the attention, making him agreeable. He was like a second, younger father to us, especially to me and Ginny, who were the youngest in the family. He would give us advice about anything, support us, and did just everything. Of course, when I was about ten or eleven, he got married and left to make his own home and family, but he still was not so far away from us. He would still visit very often and I had my first niece at the age of twelve, and that was pretty awesome!
"Charlie was two years younger than Bill- way too adventurous. He couldn't really stand the mere thought that he may be obliged to stay in one place and have to work in some little farm or at the fields, so he decided on studying what really fascinated him- magical creatures. He was great at it; it was in his nature. At first he worked in some place in Wales, breeding Thestrals, but then he went abroad, working in places almost all over the Europe, this time breeding his true passion- dragons. Mum was a little stressed over this, but eventually accepted it, because she wanted to see us happy with our own lives and able to make our own decisions.
"Then, there's Percy, work-obsessed, proper Percy. He was really keen on working, wanted to do great stuff with his life, find a job at the Ministry of Magic, this kind of stuff. Back then, it wasn't as easy to take any position at the Ministry, even on the staff of the Magical Maintenance department- especially if you lived so far away from the capital city, in a small, little village like our own. But Percy was determined to do so, and he studied really hard all the time to achieve it. He was passionate with his studies and ambitions, and then, when he eventually did it, he was equally passionate, if not more, with his work at the Ministry. He became the pride of the family, justifiably so, and of the entire village, as well! He could be a bit pompous at that sometimes, but we didn't really care about that; we would tease him a bit, but we were all happy to see him achieving his dreams and succeeding.
"After two years, the twins of the family, Fred and George, came; they were mischievous, really funny ones. They'd do pranks all the time and make jokes… I think no one could spend time with them without eventually laughing or feeling even a bit happy - they had that effect on people. They were a lot like mum's twin brothers at that, always up to something. Eventually, they started making their own little tricks and practical joke objects and stuff, so they could sell them. They did really well, and they had enough money to open a small, yet very successful store of their own.
Then, there's me, but I guess you know a few things about me, so I'll pass to—"
"No!" I interrupt him yet again, quickly whipping my head towards his direction, looking in his eyes with a most probably crazed expression. "I want to know things about you back then! What were you like? What did you do? What were your interests and ambitions?" I ask him question after question, simply anything I can think of, not minding much about the gradual way my midriff and chest hollow more and more inwards, a sign that I should think a little bit about my breathing, as well, but I don't. I guess I should thank God that Ron is observant and cares about this kind of vital things.
"Hermione, please, love, just take a breath!" he ushers me in an instant, cutting me off. I oblige to his plea; only when I take that lungful of air in do I realize just how much I need it. I decide to take a few more inhalations before eventually turning my attention solely back to Ron, calm and thankful, giving him a tiny smile of gratitude as he looks back at me with his slightly concerned eyes and knitted eyebrows.
"Thank you," I breathe to him gently. "Now, please continue." He shakes his head a bit and smiles a ghost of a smile to himself before parting his lips again.
"Ok, then. There's me, two years later, Ronald Bilius. I guess I was one of the quietest and shiest, but not all the time; I could be a right, tiny devil if I wanted to be, but that was mainly when Fred and George targeted their mischievous attention on me. I had a little frog as a pet, and there was also this really playful dog that would come from time to time and play mostly with me. I grew up with not very big ambitions; what I really wanted was to make a family of my own, you know? Find a nice, amiable wife to love and for her to love me back… I always admired the way mum and dad communicated with each other, behaved with each other and I wanted that for myself. As for an occupation… well, when I was really young, before I started learning magic, I dreamed sometimes of becoming an Auror, or, later, a Quidditch player. But later on, I guessed that neither really was compatible with my bigger want to be a good husband and father. I wanted to be there for my family constantly, and being an Auror or a Quidditch player would prevent that hugely. So, I happily decided to work in the fields, along with dad, and it was more than satisfying. Then, I also worked part-time at various shops at the village, even at my brothers'. I would teach, from time to time, to children a bit of Herbology, basics in Defense against the Dark Arts or even about Magical Creatures or flying- it was great, so… fulfilling, being with children, spending time with them like this… I started this when I was about eighteen and the connection with the children was amazing to me; I want to hope for them, as well… I don't want to think that my attempts were so fruitless or awful, but I guess that the parents' want for me going back again was an encouraging gesture. Every now and then, I would also go and take watch at the village's limits during the night along with others, just for precaution. And… I cannot think of anything else right now…"
Ron looks down at me as I stare back at him with wide eyes and a slightly open mouth, unable to utter a single word due to my rightful astonishment. Of course, I always knew that Ron is something else entirely, an extraordinary presence, a wonderful person, so gentle and helpful and caring, but all the things he's just told me, the facts about his previous life he has just shared with me… All these amazing, astonishing things show even more brilliantly how much of an awe-inspiring person he is. I was blown over with all that he did…helping everyone whatever way he could; having all these occupations not due to his own benefit, but with only selfless intentions in mind…; working almost all day long, helping young children with their studies and losing his nightly rest so he can ensure his hometown's safety…
"Are you alright there, my love?" I suddenly hear Ron's deep voice, his hand shaking gently my shoulder as to seek my attention more successfully. I snap out of my reverie and wild thoughts and instantly shift my eyes up to him, staring at him with everything I have, trying desperately to show him how much his words have affected me, and how much more I love him simply due to a dusted past of his, an almost forgotten, fairy-tale-like reality. He keeps looking a bit stressed over my silent demeanor and lack of response, so I part my lips in order to shoo away the wrinkles of worry from his face.
"I'm more than alright, Ron," I say to him soothingly, bringing my hand to cup his cheek, my fingertips slightly caressing the soft, freckly skin. "I'm just… amazed by your utter altruism; it's- it's almost breathtaking…"
Then, I witness a sight that certainly I haven't seen before: Ron, at the sound of my words, lowers his eyes modestly and his cheeks instantly gain a redder hue, along with his ears. He seems so adorable like that, so unexpectedly shy because of my sincere praise, his one hand playing absentmindedly with the hem of his jumper and his mouth mumbling incomprehensible words of probable thanks and maybe even nonchalance. I have to laugh at that and, in the spur of the moment, I peck the corner of his lips, causing him, surprisingly so, to blush even more. I chuckle at this once more.
"Not my fault I'm a blushing Weasley…" Ron murmurs in protest and sighs dramatically, making my giggles a bit harder.
"So, there's Ginny left… Tell me about her!"
"Of course, Ginerva…" Ron declares and remains silent for a bit, a small, sweet smile tugging on his lips. "Little Gin, she was the only girl in the family, the first Weasley girl after many generations. Everyone held a soft spot for her; everyone adored her, even though she grew up to become at times tougher than all of her brothers! She was really quick-witted and when Grandmamma Lucinda took care of teaching her lady-like manners and qualities, she became a very amazing, pleasant girl, one that easily could capture a wizard's heart. Gin and I spent a lot of time together, because we were really close in age and because we were the youngest of all; we would tell our secrets to each other, and we would share our fears and our dreams for the future… She loved Quidditch a lot; she wanted to play professionally, but she didn't want to sadden our parents by choosing such a hard path away from all of us, one that really didn't suit a young lady. She started teaching children various subjects, such as Transfiguration and Charms or even Potions at times, and she was wonderful at that, so patient with children and understanding… At times, I would allow her to come with me to guard the village's limits, but I guess that, despite her big willingness to ensure the villagers' safety, she would also come to spend time with Andrew…" With his last few words, Ron begins to laugh quite hard in the reminiscing of something quite hilarious to him.
"What—who's Andrew?"
"One of my fellow villagers and a quite close friend of mine… Ginny would worship the earth he stood upon; she really adored him, and not unreasonably at that- Andrew was a very decent and good wizard and man. At first, I was a bit hesitant with this discovery, and did not know how to react. I didn't want Ginny hurt in any way, and even though I knew that Andrew would not, in any way, dishonor her or spoil her name and reputation, I was afraid in case she showed more clearly her feelings towards him, and he didn't reciprocate them. Eventually, I realized that my fears were outlandish, because Andrew had fond feelings for my sister and his intentions for her were nothing but honourable. So, when the time was proper, I had a talk with Ginny, then with him and the next day, he came to the Burrow, asking for a private conversation with Gin, then with dad… such a joyous day, that one was…"
I felt my eyes stinging a bit with the producing of some happy tears. "So, you also contributed to your sister and dear friend's united happiness… I don't get why you weren't sanctified then." We both laugh gently at that.
"I'm certainly not a saint, my dear, certainly not," Ron says seriously. "I did my fair share of sins on the surface of this Earth, believe it or not."
This gets me curious, but in a gentle way, if that makes sense at all. "Such as?"
"I took some lives away, Hermione - I killed creatures," Ron admits in a deadly cold whisper that drips poison of self-loathing and deep shame for the self. I feel my heart being squeezed for a second, but I shrug the reaction away in my attempt to keep this conversation going.
"You mean the battle back then, right?" I breathe my question, a bit hesitantly as I don't know what his reaction will be. Truth is, I've never heard him speak in such a tone before, even though it doesn't seem that harming, still is very surprising and momentarily makes my spine shudder, sending a slight tremor to the rest of my body. Ron immediately senses that bodily reaction and that probably shakes him out of any troubling thoughts of the past.
"I think it would be better if we stop having this conversation," Ron rushes, shifting his body so he can face me properly, his body now a bit more distanced from mine, not touching at all except for a hesitant hand that barely touches my forearm. I shake my head vividly, trying to shoo away this expression from his face showing deep concern and guilt for speaking on such matters. I need to take these concerns away from his soul and mind.
"No, Ron, please!" I beg him slightly, trying almost desperately to make him look back at me, as he now averts his eyes almost shamefully. "I won't think of you any less because of doings during a battle! Whatever you did I'm sure it was done only with the intention to protect those you really care about, and nothing else. You surely did what every sane, brave person would do to make sure that everything he loves and keeps dear to heart is safe. You did what your loyalty told you to do; you have a good heart and selfless spirit. You shouldn't consider yourself a bad person for one minute because you did a heroic thing, because you stood up for what was right. And you also shouldn't consider me as disgusted or frightened by you; I just want to know what happened back then, but only if you feel well enough to speak about it. I won't ever force you into something like this, if it is painful or difficult for you."
"No, it is not that," Ron whispers after a moment, still his eyes a tad reluctant about meeting my own as he lets out the words, a bit strained and cautious. "I just… I just don't want for you to hear such awful things, I do not want to upset your heart and mind with such cruel happenings of so long ago… It was not pretty, Hermione, and you're so pure… I just would not like to blemish that pureness…" I have to shake my head again at that and quickly grasp his hand in mine, squeezing it a bit in hopes of making my point clearer to him.
"Ron… I'm not fragile or naïve… I know that bad things happened and still can happen in the world. I'm not the epitome of pureness, as you may think… I know some things about the horror apparent in the world, so do not fear that your recollections about that battle will shatter my soul to a point unbearable or unfixable. I don't say that I'll jump up and down as I hear about your memories of a blood-shed fight, and I cannot say that I'll be totally unaffected by it. You died during that battle, Ron, so it's bound to be even a bit saddening to me, but I know that I can handle it, because you are here with me and because it is about you. I really wish to know as much as possible about you and your life before."
Ron's eyes fast shift from staring indifferently at the carpet, to meet mine, all wide and slightly surprised. He looks at me silently for a long time, his lips slightly open and his front teeth grazing the bottom one unconsciously, as he stares and thinks deeply. I respect his silence, his mute wish to think for a moment, so I do not speak further, I do not pressure him, but I only stare back, giving him any sort of answers he may want or look for in there, in my eyes and behind them, in my heart. After some indefinite time, he slowly takes his hand away from mine, for a second making my heart halt its beating, only to bring me relief when he rests it under my jaw line, his fingers rubbing softly the side of my neck 'til they hide between my curls. His eyes remain a tad serious, yet a hint of a smile appears on his full lips.
"Alright," he only says and takes a deep breath before pushing me gently towards his warmth, embracing me softly and putting now both of his hands in my hair, rubbing the scalp soothingly. "But promise me, promise me, Hermione, that when you feel that you cannot tolerate this anymore, when you feel even the smallest of doubts and do not want to hear any more of these things, you will tell me to stop, because I cannot possibly bear the mere thought of you having to deal with ache and upsetting thoughts and feelings that should not be apparent, especially if I was one sole reason of their existence. Do you understand this, Hermione?" he asks me with a serious tone in his deep voice, while he gently pushes my head slightly back, so we can look properly to each other, and so his eyes can make clear the gravity of his words.
"I swear I will, Ron. If it becomes agonizing for me, I'll ask you to stop." He nods slowly and then takes another deep breath before leaning back into the sofa and parting his lips, starting to what I know will be a very important, maybe even life-changing experience for both of us.
"It was a day after my birthday, late evening. That night I wasn't to take watch, so I was at the Burrow with the rest of the family. Even the married siblings of mine- Bill, Percy and Ginny- were there, along with their spouses and children, and we were having a very pleasant time together, telling our news and playing with the children before their bedtime… Everything was cozy and all right, 'til…'til a Patronus was sent, telling us there was an emergency; there was an attack from goblins. We were shocked, all of us, and afraid, but we wasted no time; we went to the southern limits of the village, where the invasion had started, to see what we could do and to organize some kind of defense… All of us left, except for Grandma Cedrella, who was ill and too weak to fight along with the children. We put some extra protective enchantments around the house so we could be more at ease with leaving them behind. Thank God that Grandma Cedrella was also very good with her wand, and despite her illness, she was eager enough to make sure that, Merlin forbid, something bad happened to them, she could do her part and ensure the children's and her own safety.
"We straight away went to the place we were told, but the goblins had already made their way towards the central square and the market. We immediately headed towards there, along the way thinking of plans of better defense and tactics. But upon reaching the square, it was difficult to think about plans- God, it was difficult to think logically at that moment… Seeing- seeing your hometown like this, being ruined by some barbaric creatures… The goblins had brought along a small clan of wizards; they had made a deal to help them, as they had wands, thus they could do things much worse quicker and more effectively and in return, they would give them a quite good portion of all the things they could gain with the invasion. At the time we had reached the village, already some of the shops were set on fire or ruined and the goblins were in some sort of chaotic, crazed bliss. I- I was driven insane upon watching this… the mayhem unfold, my childhood hometown getting ruined by some… some gold-thirsty subjects and I got irrational, in a way… I was aware of my surroundings or the dangers apparent, but all I wanted was to make sure that everyone was all right, my family and fellow villagers were safe and sound, and our village would be safe in the end.
"We all got into the fight, and we battled hard and long. The wizards, who were our biggest concern at first, seemed to be quite inadequate and not ready enough; they just wanted to gain the gold and leave, so they weren't that prepared or in the right mind to think of a concrete plan. Many were captured easily by us, and the others just took whatever they could from the destroyed shops and ran away. But what we eventually understood was that the goblins were much more persistent in getting our land, and wouldn't give up easily. They didn't know anything about wands and our magic, but they knew all about swords and archery, even lethal hand-fighting tactics.
I had both a wand and a sword to fight with. Of course, I fought mostly with my wand; it was quicker and more effective, less exhausting to the body as well… I- I tried my best; I kept up well, until… until I saw it… T-Two goblins taking away Percy's wand and beating him unstoppably… I… I had to stop them, and I hunted them and threw spells at them, but they were wearing those goblin-made necklaces that made them unapproachable to our jinxes and curses, so I had to fight them with my sword… They- they b-bled to death…"
I slowly turn my head towards his profile, looking sideways because I fear that any sudden moves may upset him during such a stressful state. He seems to be shaking a bit, his eyes almost out of their sockets, frozen to remember unconsciously a sight too painful for such a gentle heart. His eyes are hazy and a bit glassy, and I feel more and more pangs torturing my heart at the plain sight of him like this, so vulnerable and sad, as well as the sound of his voice, strained and full of ache and guilt… I want to stop him, so he won't have to suffer this anymore, so he won't have to relive such painful memories, but something deep within me says not to, persuades me that the outcome will be worthy of the temporary ache… At first I cannot believe the particular thought, it seems outrageous, nearly hideous and sick, but then, as I observe Ron's eyes carefully, as I see some kind of determination in the black depths of his pupils, my heart comes to a sudden rest, and I keep my mouth shut, letting the present unfold without my interference.
"I- I was shocked beyond belief… I couldn't believe that I did this thing, that I killed those goblins, but… but I had to, I had to! They- they almost killed Percy and when I saw him all right and a-alive… I felt that it… it had to be done, otherwise Percy… Well, at that moment all I could feel was relief that my brother was safe and alive, but nothing had ended yet, so we kept fighting almost all night long. I had some minor injuries, some slashes from swords and some bruises and cuts from falls or rocks being thrown at me- the goblins got desperate after a while…
A couple of hours before dawn, thankfully we had dispatched almost all of the goblins successfully; many of them were captured and killed as well. The most fortunate part was the fact that there were no losses from our part, except from material losses, but that was gratefully fixable. From my family, despite Percy, everyone else had minor injuries, just like me and even less. The elder ones decided to go back to the Burrow, so they could see if everything was ok, and along with them went Percy and his wife, Audrey, so they could tend to his wounds. The rest, which was most of us, remained behind, though, to help with the wreckages and help other people whichever way feasible. For an hour, everything was all right, 'til we suddenly heard havoc, some couple of metres away… We ran there to see what was happening… A goblin managed to escape and take hold of a bow… At first all he did was threaten, because he was outnumbered by armed wizards. He was a bit insane and he was asking to set free the rest of the captured goblins. They ignored his threats and managed to catch him, but, on their try to tie him again, he slipped away, got free for a second time and took the bow again, along with three- four arrows. Everyone was in a deep shock; no one knew what to do, how to react- everything was happening so fast… And, the goblin- he, he wanted to ma-make a statement, so he threw the arrows at the very first p-person he set his e-eyes upon… G-Ginny…"
"My heart froze at that, the simple thought of something happening to her… sweet, innocent Ginny… I- I reacted immediately, without a second thought, without wasting a heartbeat… I ran to her and took those arrows, all of them, in my chest."
My heart freezes as well, as I am living through his description of the scene he had a couple of centuries ago. I feel my body getting colder as I picture the terrifying image of him being shot with arrows, arrows that dig deep into his chest to an excruciating, lethal point. I start to feel a bit dizzy but I overlook the mere fact, as well as my blurred vision, just so I can observe him, how he reacts to a re-living of his own, selfless and sacrificing act that led him to his own demise.
Ron remains still on the couch, looking straight ahead without realizing. His breaths are somewhat shallow and his eyes are still almost scarily wide, and wet, to the point some tears manage to escape from the outer corners of his eyes, maybe without his complete knowledge. He is silent for a bit, most probably focusing on the ancient, almost forgotten sensations and feelings, as well as on his breathing, in some frail attempts to tame it. I remain silent in return, only gazing at him gently. Despite him not acknowledging it, I know that somewhere deep down, he senses it and is not ungrateful for that. After a minute or two, he gulps down a mouthful of air and closes briefly his eyes before continuing with an almost hushed voice.
"It… It was so very painful, as far as my body can recollect it. A hellish heat spreading all over my chest, all over my body… I was getting dizzy and my rational, concrete thought was slowly slipping away from me, but before losing it all, I cast a stunning spell, as best as I could, on the goblin. I gather that the rest got him in time, because the spell almost took away every bit of strength I had within; the ache was rapidly lessening, as well as the dizziness and my consciousness. Everything was foggy and slightly unrecognizable at the moment; I couldn't understand much… I was able to distinguish my family's voices, all blended and desperate, and I tried to reassure them that I was all right, that everything was going to be all right. E-Everything was getting heavier and darker and I kept murmuring my thoughts, wishing that everyone was well, telling them that I love them and asking them not to mourn for me… but I'm not really certain if I ever said all these words, if they ever heard them… if I was even alive when my mind was flooded with them. Then, I just… fell asleep."
With these last words, Ron turns his head gracefully, so he can face me. For some reason unexplainable, the sight of his face, so melancholic, yet radiant, takes my breath away and obliges my eyes to be eternal slaves of this vision, never to make such a sin as averting them away. We stare at each other quietly, and despite the graveness and the sadness his last few memories arise, his eyes seem calm and undisturbed, maybe even relieved out of a burden that wasn't visible or even felt 'til that very moment. I gasp mutely as I feel his body, little by little, shift towards mine, and without much restraint, some of the blurriness in my vision disappears, as droplets of salty water are grazing my temples and cheeks in a slow trek towards my jaw. My external body may show trouble or sadness, but now, in a moment of almost apocalyptic change, I do not feel such emotion within my body. No, as I stare into his wet, blue eyes, as I feel his warmth embracing mine after a period of chill, as I feel his slightly trembling fingers reaching my face and tenderly wiping away my tears, I cannot feel sorrow or distress.
Ron is carefully wiping away all evidence of my tears, and I do the same to him in a slow, kind manner. Both of our motions are unhurried and tender, 'til they cease, so our eyes immediately seek each other's in a comforting, silent shift. Eventually, Ron leans closer to me, looking deep into my eyes before resting his forehead onto mine, making our eyelids flutter close, our hearts reaching a lulling, calm state of another kind. It is quite bizarre, how I always felt wonder for the tranquility we could both feel in the presence of each other, but now…now that previous peace seems somewhat frail in comparison with this occurring right now between us. This one seems overwhelming, effortlessly reaching even the most remote cell of my being, warming every bone and easing every muscle of my body. My heart feels quiet and my mind is at rest, as I know that the bond between Ron and me strengthens during that moment of still, reaches an understanding for each other that might have seemed incomprehensible or unknown before now.
And it is consoling and heartwarming, and I want to feel it for the rest of eternity with him.
"Thank you," Ron breathes ever so gently after an indefinite amount of time, almost mouthing the words on the corner of my mouth. I smile almost imperceptibly at him, with eyes still closed, and I know that there's no need to say anything in return. I just embrace his gratefulness without questioning it, because I understand why he's thanking me so deeply and sincerely, even though he shouldn't, not really… He smiles in return from what I can feel, and adoringly pecks that slightly upwards-turned corner of my mouth. Unhurriedly, I open my eyes, just to witness him open his own with identical lack of rush. He fondly gazes at my face, making my heart flutter crazily in my chest, and I cannot help but wonder - wonder wildly, how can he possibly smile all the time, how can this serene, angelic beam never leave his lips, his entire face. Yes, it is the most wonderful sight, the most perfect to my eyes, and I'm not complaining, still I cannot help the wondering…
"I'm just so, so delighted…" Ron whispers suddenly, letting the words be blended with a flowing, gentle chuckle. My eyes double their size easily as I stare up to him with pure astonishment. He- He just answered, aloud, to my mind's inner wonderings, easily and kindly, like this was nothing out of the ordinary.
"I'm able to know what you're thinking and what you're feeling from time to time," Ron answers, yet again, to my mind's queries without trouble. "Don't forget, we communicated with each other for years before I re-acquired my old body; I practically lived within you in a way, Hermione… I think it is understandable to be fairly accustomed to your feelings and thoughts, the way this brilliant mind of yours works, don't you think, my beauty?" For my response, all he can receive are the bright, wide smile and a vivid, eager nod. For that he laughs wholeheartedly before almost burying himself in the corner of the sofa and simultaneously pulling me by our entwined hands, quickly settling me tightly by his side. I rest my head comfortingly on his shoulder as Ron takes my hand again with more gentleness and care in his own ones, gradually rubbing my little fingers and brushing with his thumb my knuckles ever so softly, causing little shivers to tease my entire body. We remain n peaceful, comfortable silence once again, with our deep breathing and quite playful hands interacting beautifully, almost breathtakingly. I cannot wholly understand the enormity of such a simple action, how it can so naturally bring the arising of so many, exhilarating feelings and sensations, how it can stand out from between so many things that happen in the world and seemingly flash grander… My chest is getting warmer and warmer, simply due to the bond between us, but, yet again, that restless mind of mine starts its way into deep thinking all because of these warm, overwhelming sensations and awe-inspiring sentiments. As the minutes pass and fade into young past, as Ron is still showering me with his love and mute attention, I cannot help, but start wondering again if…
And… could Ron possibly want this, too? What if he's repulsed by the mere idea of me? But no, this can't happen, Ron loves me and he cares about me; he wouldn't possibly be repulsed by the idea… surely not. And, even if he is, he certainly will not show it, not in a harsh, unkind way to me. No, if he doesn't want to, he'll gently, reasonably tell me, so he won't hurt me in any way… But, still, the notion is ever so sudden, yet quite naturally born into my mind, and now that it is here, whole and concrete, I know that I want to be like this with him, completely and inescapably one.
"Something wrong, my flower?" Ron mumbles softly, squeezing my fingers with encouragement. I am shaken out of my thoughts by his words and I turn my head slightly to look at him, wondering for a second how he can possibly define my little, slightly bizarre stress. Oh, for Godric's sake, Hermione, we've discussed this before- just minutes ago! I want to giggle slightly at my stupidity but I swallow it down, before taking a huge breath and giving mental strength to myself. Not better time than the present, I guess…
"No, nothing's wrong," I assure him before taking another gulp of air and attempting to let the words escape my mouth as smoothly as possible. "I just- I'd like to ask you for a - a little favour…"
Ron hums his approval and shifts his eyes to look properly at my eyes, giving me his undivided attention. "Is that so?" I nod, for lack of a better response for the time being. "Hermione dear, you know that I would do anything to please you, even if you requested me leaving you."
"What?!" I exclaim suddenly, totally shaken from the shock brought with his words. "How- How could you consider that as a possibility? I would never- and I mean never- ask you for such a thing, mister! So get it out of your thick head right this instant!" I immediately see his eyebrows raised in laughter, his crystal blue eyes shining brilliantly in joy and his white pearls as I hear his gentle, flowing laughter filling the air around us in the most graceful way possible. I have to admit that if not for my still slightly apparent surprise over his previous words, I would be totally swooned right this second.
"Well, it's a fact," he still laughs good-naturedly for a moment before inhaling lightly and continuing with a smile on his face. "So, what do you want me to do for you?"
I start feeling quite awkward and shy again, but I should do this- nothing to fear about, Hermione.
"Well… I've been thinking some lately about… well, no, I just… I was thinking and I… I came to the conclusion..." Oh, dear, I sound so pathetic right now, and Ron is staring at me with those huge eyes of his, full of this kind of gentle curiosity that I've only seen in his eyes. He's not even blinking right now; he just stares at me, waiting for me to continue… Oh, dear God! My palms are all clammy and even shaking some, and my heart skips beats from this weird blend of expectancy and anxiety… Oh, Hermione, just tell him! "I… I w-want us to make love…"
The last part comes out so faintly that I'm afraid he didn't hear me at all. My cheeks, neck and chest are burning an awful lot with embarrassment, and for a moment, I cannot bring myself to look up at his face. However, Ron does not seem to react differently from before; I can still feel his hands on top of mine on his lap, his thumb is still stroking my vaguely trembling knuckles. Frankly, I do not know how to feel about the little fact, relieved that he didn't react badly from my words, or anxious about the possibility that he didn't hear me, thus I have to spell out the words again.
"I said I would do anything for you, Hermione. If that is what you want, then so be it."
I'm rather taken aback from his response, because, honestly, I didn't except such. "Really?" is the only think I can get out of my mouth.
"Of course." His simple response should have a great, amazing effect on my body, but for some reason I don't feel completely elated- something probes my self-consciousness.
"I don't want you to agree to this because you feel obliged, Ron," I breathe out almost defeated, having to spell out my concerns. Ron immediately squeezes my hand harder and cocks his head to the side, so he can capture my attention through an eye connection between us.
"Hey, hey, don't think that way!" he says ever so softly and eventually his fingers gently raise my chin so we can look properly at each other. "Don't think about this at all, my love- just shoo that ludicrous idea out of your little head, alright?" Seeing my faint nod, he resumes. "But, my lovely, I want to ask you this seriously - are you sure that you are ready for such a thing? This is completely new and different for us."
This time, I can feel the smile widen on my face, as the slight dread and trouble disappears from my mind altogether. "I am sure about this more than anything else; I just want to be with you with any way possible."
His sweet smile makes my heart melt into my chest. "Then I will be really content to partake into such a beautiful act, my flower. But I want to be entirely sure that you did not force yourself into this thought, so you could believe that this would make me happy and satisfy me… I am as experienced to this aspect as you are and I do not feel the need inside of me to rush into things that you are not ready to handle right now, or ever. I do not want to hurt you, Hermione, or make you sad- I just want you to feel alright with me…"
His words, once again, have this mysterious power to make everything fade around us, and make the world lovelier and warmer and consistent only from the pair of us. My heart is more alive and blissful than ever, pumping into my ribcage with love and amazement, because when you're too young, you wonder if all this can ever be true, or realistic You wonder if love will ever happen to you and someone will cherish you for life, and now… now the answer is here, bright and grand, taking my breath away yet again.
"I feel more than alright- I am whole with you."
Ron laughs gently again, and his eyes laughing with him so handsomely, that I get myself easily lost in the awesome combination of sight and sound. I sense him lean down to me, closing the distance between our faces with slowness both beautiful and torturing. I lose myself in the brilliance of his blue eyes, the eyes that made me fall in love with him all those years back then, in that ethereal dream during fourth year…
"I love you, too," he breathes on my lips, replying to words that barely managed to form wholly into my head at the moment. I smile lazily, almost hypnotized by his entire presence, and lean a bit closer myself, parting slowly my lips as I let my eyes burn into his own, suddenly intense stare.
"I love you," I whisper nonetheless, and a second later, I lose myself yet again, this time in the warmth emitted by his breathtaking kiss…
-Well, I hope you all enjoyed this! I tried to make Ron's past as believable as possible, regarding he lived two centuries before the story's present.
Now, all I'd want is your reviews; I always like knowing what you think about the story. :)
Next chapter up hopefully soon. Currently, I'm working on chapter 7, so I hope that there won't be huge gaps between the chapters. Anyways, take care! :)