Cast: Chris, Chef, Owen, Gwen, Heather, Duncan, Leshawna, Geoff, Izzy, DJ, Lindsay, Bridgette, Trent, Eva, Harold, Sadie, Beth, Cody, Tyler, Katie, Justin, Noah
Background: The TDI special was similar to canon but had a few changes. Katie and Sadie ran to Justin when he had the bucket on his head, so they got dragged with him into the water by the parachute. Noah talks to Eva about how crazy Izzy is so that, not trusting Izzy, they follow her to make sure she won't betray them, getting them in the water as well. Finally, logic exists this time so Cody and Tyler fall onto the sled this time with Owen and DJ, who they were tied to at the waist, so they also fall into the water. This means that the only people who don't compete in Action are Ezekiel, who had the parachute fall on top of him, and Courtney, who was the only person to fall into the green jelly, as punishment for being an insane person that episode.
Chris: Last season on Total Drama Island… Owen and Gwen battled it out for 100,000. In the end, Owen, a super-sized guy, won a super-sized check. But then gave it all up for the chance to win one million big ones! With the million smackeroos stuffed into a briefcase, our twenty-two campers set off on The Race for the Case! Until the case was eaten by an alligator. Then a shark. I bet you they didn't see that one coming. Haha. Now the twenty who were the closest to winning have been given the chance to win another million dollars. Actually…it's the same money. They've been instructed to report to an old film lot for a whole new set of challenges. Forty-two days. Twenty cast mates. One heck of a lot of cash! Welcome to Total. Drama. Action!
(A bus containing the twenty contestants pulls up as Duncan sniffs the air while getting off before all the others campers follow suit)
Duncan: Man, I miss the smell of the city.
Heather: Step off.
Gwen: You step off.
Heather and Gwen: Grr…
(Harold in the chaos is pushed into Leshawna)
Harold: Ow! Sorry, Leshawna.
Leshawna: No harm done.
(The bus leaves as everyone is let off the bus)
Leshawna: Where is everybody?
Gwen: Uh, maybe we got off at the wrong stop?
Justin: That broken down bus only had one stop.
Heather: I'm not hanging around here.
Leshawna: You're gonna give up the chance at a million big ones? Heh, that's a lot of hair weaves.
Heather: Guess I can stay for a bit.
Beth: Face it. The money's the reason we all put up with Chris.
Trent: Beth, you got your braces off! Nice!
Justin: Hot as ever.
(Justin's theme plays before he is pulled back by Leshawna)
Leshawna: You look fi-i-ine, girl!
Gwen: You really do!
Lindsay: You are totally on your way to looking the part of my new BFF. That's my new best French friend. I am so moving to France when I win.
Beth: My mom said my world would totally open up when I got my braces off! She was right! I'm going to France!
Lindsay and Beth: Yay!
(Tyler walks up to the two of them)
Tyler: France, here I come!
(Lindsay looks at Tyler confused)
Lindsay: Who are you?
Tyler: It's me, Tyler! I'm your boyfriend.
Lindsay: Oh right…Trent?
(Tyler stands there in complete shock)
Lindsay: Nice seeing you, Trent!
(Katie looks over at Lindsay, Beth, and Tyler)
Katie: Sadie, we should totally get our braces off too!
Sadie: Totally! Then we'll look extra hot!
(Cody walks up next to them)
Cody: But…neither of you have braces.
Katie and Sadie: Ah…
(A horn is heard honking)
Duncan: Dude, it's about time!
Chris: Hop-on, everyone! Come on, people! Sheesh, we haven't got all day! This cart's rented by the hour!
(The cart takes off with everyone on it except Izzy)
Owen: Izzy! Run!
(Izzy whistles in annoyance)
Owen: I mean Kaleidoscope!
Izzy: No one leaves E-Scope behind!
(Izzy runs to the cart as she yells like Tarzan)
(Noah looks at Izzy before looking over at Eva)
Noah: And they say you're the crazy one?
Eva: Exactly…
Chris: Welcome to the set of Total. Drama. Action!
Chris: This season's hottest reality show will be shot here, on an abandoned film lot.
(Lindsay gasps)
Lindsay: Does this mean we're gonna be in the movies?
Chris: No. It means you're gonna be on TV. And don't interrupt me! Ever!
Lindsay: Oops. Sorry.
Chris: You'll be spending the next six weeks here, competing against each other in challenges, and for rewards. All for the chance to win some monster cash!
Owen: Yeah, baby! I'm gonna win me some moolah!
Chris: Shush! Like last season, one team will win, and one team will watch one of their own make their way down the dreaded Walk of Shame to the Lamousine.
(The Lamousine's muffler backfires)
Noah: At least the lame part is accurate.
Trent: Couldn't you have spun for a better ride?
Chris: No. Now, since we don't have the outhouse to dump your deepest darkest secrets in, you'll ditch the dirt in our new makeup confessional!
- Lindsay Confessional -
Lindsay: Oh my gosh. A whole trailer full of makeup?!
(An assistant passes Lindsay some makeup)
Lindsay: Oh, sorry, I don't use that brand.
- End of Confessional -
Chris: To your left is the Craft Services Tent. Catered by Chef.
Lindsay: Whoa!
Chris: If you survive Chef, you'll have to make it through our dramatic awards ceremony! Where all but one loser will receive a Gilded Chris Award!
- Gwen Confessional -
Gwen: That Gilded Chris? Ha. What a narcissist! Don't get me wrong, I still want one.
- End of Confessional -
Geoff: We done now, dude?
Chris: I have an eject button. And I'll use it.
Geoff: Please. Continue.
Harold: Whoa. Cool. Is this a dream?
Chris: No, Harold! It is not! But you may soon wish it was. A few months ago, this lot was home to a high-budget monster movie. Until the star began experiencing some… ah, uh, difficulties?
(Lindsay gasps in concern)
Lindsay: Oh no. Did she have like, a mental breakdown?
Chris: Actually, the star wasn't a her. It was an animatronic monster!
Gwen: What happened to it?
- Gwen Confessional -
(Gwen sighs)
In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have asked that question.
- End of Confessional -
(The monster can be heard roaring in the distance)
Duncan: Come on, dudes. He's yanking our chains.
(The cart stops moving as the monster hits a cellphone tower, which lands in front of the cart)
Trent: Whoa!
Geoff: Dude!
(DJ screams in terror)
Chris: Since we're on a film lot, this season's challenges will be based on movie genres. Today's genre?
(The monster can be heard roaring again)
Chris: The monster movie! Duh.
(Chris says as he laughs to himself)
(Everyone gasps)
DJ: Uh. Uh.
(DJ falls to the ground in terror before Chris pokes him with a stick)
Chris: Down for the count. For your first challenge, everyone must get from here to the cast trailers while our state-of-the-art monster prevents your every move.
(Chris chuckles to himself)
Chris: Chef has kindly offered to control the beast.
(The monster slowly begins making its way towards the campers)
Chris: And… action!
(Crickets begin chirping)
Chris: Uh… that means go.
(The cast begin trying to get off the cart as fast as possible)
Heather: Me first!
Trent: Out of my way!
Harold: Hi-yah!
Duncan: Move it or lose it!
Harold: Ah!
Chris: This is gonna be a long season.
(All the contestants scream as they run across the beach)
Owen: Whoa, baby! Did you see that?! That thing is so cool!
(Back at the cart, Chris pats DJ's head gently)
DJ: I can almost hear your sweet lullabies, mama.
(Back on the beach, the monster growls as Owen notices it appearing behind Izzy)
Owen: Izzy, duck! Duck!
(Izzy giggles in amusement)
Izzy: Goose!
(The monster swings at Izzy before sending her flying into a crane)
Izzy: Whee! Yeah! Haha. Do it again!
(The monster picks Izzy up and drops her into a bouncy castle)
Izzy: Whoo, yeah!
- Owen Confessional -
Owen: Maybe the monster won't look for me in here. I love Izzy. Not like "love" love. But I think she's amazing. I just wish she'd notice me and not that dumb monster. How can I compete with it?! Sure, we're both big and we both eat a lot. But it's really tall.
- End of Confessional -
(Geoff and Bridgette are seen kissing intensely on the beach)
Gwen: How are we supposed to find the actor's trailers anyway?
Justin: Follow the good looking people!
Beth: Yeah! Follow Justin!
(Geoff and Bridgette continue kissing)
Duncan: Um, I don't think this is the kind of action Chris had in mind.
- Bridgette Confessional -
Bridgette: What was I thinking? Duncan is so right. I like Geoff, but hello, I also like a million bucks.
- Geoff Confessional -
Geoff: Duncan's right. It's time to get our heads in the game. Booyah!
- Geoff and Bridgette Confessional -
(Geoff and Bridgette continue kissing)
- End of Confessionals -
(Duncan, Gwen, and Trent are running through rhe city)
Gwen: This challenge isn't so bad. What, no explosions? No burning buildings? No bears?
Trent: Maybe it's not in the budget.
(Suddenly loud explosions occur which burn down multiple buildings which accidentally burns a bear, who begins to chase the trio)
Gwen, Trent, and Duncan: Ah!
(Chris and Chef are watching through the cameras)
Chris: I thought the bear was tranquilized and returned to its handler.
Chef: Had one day left on its contract.
Chris: Nice!
(Geoff and Bridgette continue kissing in the confessional before the monster reaches in and grabs them)
Bridgette: This is it. The end.
Geoff: As long as we're together, baby.
(The monster drops the two of them)
Bridgette: I love you!
Geoff: I love you too!
(Bridgette and Geoff safely land in the bouncy castle)
(Leshawna is running across the beach hefore noticing Harold hiding behind an umbrella)
Leshawna: Come on, string bean! I hope you can run! We've got a challenge to win!
(Harold gets up and begins running with Leshawna)
Harold: If I wanted to, I could run as fast as a prong-horned antelope. It's the fastest land mammal after the cheetah.
(The monster roars, sending Leshawna and Harold flying back, before grabbing the pair)
Leshawna: Easy now! This booty is breakable!
(The monster drops them into the bouncy castle)
Harold: I love you!
Leshawna: Say what now?
(Justin runs by as the monster picks him up)
Justin: Yo.
(Justin's theme plays as the monster stops moving)
Chef: What can I say? Kid's hot.
- Justin Confessional -
Justin: I'm not just another gorgeous face. and abs, and butt, and shoulders, okay? I'm also a master strategist. And this year, I'm in it to win it.
- End of Confessional -
(Katie and Sadie look on as the monster is holding Justin)
Katie and Sadie: Justin, take us with you!
(The monster picks up the sobbing girls and drops them into the bouncy castle before carefully lowering Justin into the bouncy castle as Justin gives a thumbs up before noticing everyone looking at something)
Justin: What are you all staring at?
Leshawna, Harold, Bridgette, Geoff, Katie, and Sadie: You.
Justin: Oh. Right.
(The monster roars as Heather runs across the filmlot before Lindsay pokes her head out of a bush)
Lindsay: You tell her, we don't like her!
(The monster picks up Heather and Lindsay as Beth arrives)
Beth: I'll miss you, Lindsay!
(The monster drops Heather and Lindsay into the bouncy castle)
Lindsay: Ahh!
(Heather gets up and noticies her wig is missing)
Heather: Excuse me! I think you forgot something!
(The monster drops Heather's wig into the bouncy castle)
Heather: That's better.
(Beth, DJ, Gwen, Trent, Cody, and Eva are running away from the monster with everyone except Eva screaming)
Trent: Everyone, follow me!
- Gwen Confessional -
Gwen: That's what makes Trent such a great boyfriend. He's always thinking of others. It's one of the things I love about him.
- End of Confessional -
(The group starts running into a nearby building as DJ is frozen)
Trent: It's okay, big guy. I got you.
(Trent leads everyone into the building; however, it turns out to be a prop)
Trent: Oof! You mean, everything around here is fake?
- Gwen Confessional -
Gwen: That and Trent's exceptional powers of observation.
- End of Confessional -
(Gwen screams as the entire group is grabbed by the monster)
Beth: I'm comin', Lindsay!
(The monster drops the group into the bouncy castle)
Trent: I'm here for you, babe!
Cody: Me too!
(Duncan, Owen, Tyler, and Noah appear from behind a prop car as Duncan is laughing)
Duncan: Losers!
Owen: Boy, am I ever glad I'm not them.
(The monster roars at the group as Owen "hides" under the prop car)
Owen: I'm gonna die!
(The monster takes Duncan, Tyler, and Noah as Owen screams for his life)
Owen: Ah! Ah! Ahh!
(Owen gets up as he realizes he's okay)
Owen: I'm okay? I'm okay! Yeah, baby! Time to find those cast trailers! Aw. I can't… run…any…more. Take…me…I surr…ender.
Chef: Kid really needs to lay off those cheese puffs.
(The monster picks up Owen before it suddenly stops moving)
Owen: Huh?
(The monster powers down from Owen's weight)
- Owen Confessional -
Owen: Boy, am I ever glad that I didn't go on that diet! Being big can really have its advantages. You know, like, when you're trying not to uh, uh, be captured by an animatronic monster, for example. That's just off the top of my head.
- End of Confessional -
Chef: Come on… come on!
(The monster's grip lets go as Owen falls to the ground)
Owen: Yes! I'm too heavy! I win! I win!
(Chris walks up to Owen)
Chris: Not yet, Owen, my man. You still have to find the trailers.
Owen: Aw, man.
(A speaker wakes the contestants up as Owen, out of breath, finally reaches the trailers before collapsing next to the bouncy castle)
Owen: Oh…
Trent: It took you ten and a half hours to walk three city blocks?
DJ: That's just sad, man.
(Owen pulls out a pin and pops the bouncy castle)
Duncan: How come no one thought of doing that last night?
Leshawna: Wait. Where's Izzy?
(The monster crushes one of the trailer before lowering Izzy down gently)
Izzy: Thanks for the date, baby! Don't ever leave me! 'Cause I'd find you.
(Owen looks at Izzy with a glare)
Duncan: How did you manage to escape?
Izzy: Monster and I had a romantic date. He doesn't take no for an answer. Mhm. Pretty crazy. I can't even tell you guys.
Chris: Whoa. Am I ever glad I chose to wait in that trailer. It looks like you all made it. Guess I lose the bet. That was just a warmup. Good news is, your next challenge is a reward. It will be the boys against the girls, with the winner getting the first pick of the trailers, where you'll be living for the next forty-two days! You will have your choice of Trailer A, or Trailer… yeesh. Off to the Craft Services Tent!
Owen: Aw, yeah, baby! I'm starving!
- Owen Confessional -
Owen: My mom says I eat when I'm upset. And happy. And tired. Not to mention bored, gassy, morose, joyous, comatose, semi-conscious, avuncular. Avuncular.
- End of Confessional -
(Chris brings the contestants to the Craft Services Tent where a table full of food is laid out)
Owen: Woohoo! This is awesome!
Geoff: Dude. This chow looks like something out of a commercial!
Lindsay: Ooh, can I star?
Owen: Let's get this speed-eating contest started! On your marks, get set, come to papa!
(Owen runs towards the food)
Chris: No, wait!
(Owen devours all the food, except the salad which he throws away)
Owen: Oh! Is this veal? It must be veal! I've never tasted anything like this!
(Owen collpases on the floor)
Chris: Owen, the man of many appetites. How was it?
Owen: The turkey was a bit…dry.
Chris: Not surprising, since the food was fake!
Owen: Fake?
Chris: Yep, just props made from foam core, silicone, sawdust, and wax. It wasn't a speed-eating contest. It was a contest to find the key.
Owen: What key?
(Owen suddenly burps out the key)
Owen: Oh, you mean this key?
Chris: That'd be the one.
Owen: Does this mean I win?!
Chris: Yes. Yes, it does.
Owen: All right!
- Duncan Confessional -
Duncan: Did you see that? The dude ate foam core and wax! Full props for that, man.
- Geoff Confessional -
Geoff: Way to find the key, dude! I used to think Owen was just some party dude, but he's really a stand-up guy. Party on!
- Harold Confessional -
Harold: I could've done that, you know. I just wasn't hungry.
- Owen Confessional -
Owen: Oh wait, wait, wait. There's still one more.
(Owen lets out a nasty burp as his stomach rests)
- Leshawna Confessional -
Leshawna: Know what that boy has? Guts. Guts full of foam core and rubber. But guts just the same.
- Noah Confessional -
Noah: I'm not an idiot. I know not being a "team player" cost me last season, so this time around I plan to play differently. My first step is making sure I have a solid alliance with that big goofball. That stunt he just pulled might be my one way ticket to winning this season.
- End of Confessionals -
(Chef prepares a drink to help Owen's stomach)
Owen: Guh, ugh… Oh, don't worry. I'm cool. Hahaha. My mom says I've got a gut like a goat.
(Owen's stomach gurgles)
Owen: Nope. Call 911.
(Chris walks up)
Chris: You're gonna need it. Since you're the winner, you get first pick of the trailers.
(The boys all cheer)
Owen: I choose the squashed one!
(The boys disagree as they argue with Owen)
Owen: What? It has more character.
(The girls all cheer before the monster comes back and crushes the other trailer as well)
Girls: Aw…
(Chris chuckles to himself)
Chris: Oh!
- Izzy Confessional -
Izzy: Ha, I am so over that monster.
- End of Confessional -
(Chef rebuilds both trailers as Chris pulls up in a golf cart)
Chris: Okay, everyone! Get a good night sleep because you've got a seriously early wake-up call. Call time is six a.m. Sleep quickly!
(In the boys' trailer...)
Harold: I'll take the top.
Geoff: I call the bottom.
Trent: I'll sleep over here.
Cody: I'll take the bed under you then, Trent.
Noah: Guess that leaves you and me, Owen.
Owen: Alright, I call bottom!
Noah: Guess I'll take the top.
Duncan: Oh, yeah, that's the stuff.
(In the girls' trailer...)
Heather: I need to sleep on the east side so my head will be closer to the ocean.
Leshawna: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. We're in Toronto. We're nowhere near the ocean.
Heather: Then maybe I don't wanna lay my pretty head near this big-butted, loudmouthed, mall-shopping–
Leshawna: And maybe I don't wanna sleep near a two-faced, bossy little string bean of a prom queen!
(Bridgette whistles to grab the girls' attention)
Bridgette: Girls! You heard Chris, we need to be on set by six a.m.?
Leshawna: Worried we might cut into your early morning make-out session?
(Leshawna imitates Bridgette and Geoff kissing to annoy Bridgette)
Bridgette: Yes! Kind of. Gwen.
Gwen: No way.
Lindsay: Heather's meanness might leech down while I'm sleeping.
(Beth gasps in concern)
Beth: Is meanness contagious?
Lindsay: Totally. Besides, I'm bunking with my new BFF. My Beth friend forever.
Beth: Aww.
Bridgette: Fine. We'll draw straws.
Leshawna: Who's got straws?
Lindsay: We can use makeup brushes instead!
Gwen: That's actually a good idea.
Beth: Longest ones get the top bunks. Shortest ones, the bottom. Shortest of all gets to sleep with Heather.
(Heather growls in annoyance)
Lindsay: Yes! Top bunk!
Beth: I got bottom! I call Lindsay.
Lindsay: I call Beth right back!
Bridgette: I got bottom. Gwen?
Gwen: I got top. Sure.
Leshawna: I got bottom.
Izzy: I'm a top!
Katie: Mine's bigger!
Sadie: Mine's shorter!
Heather: You mean, I get two beds? All to myself? Ahh! Sweet!
Gwen: Yeah, we've really gotta work on our math.
Heather: Losers!
(Heather laughs to herself before Eva walks over and places a hand on Heather's back)
Eva: Forgot about me? Guess I'll be your bunkmate.
(Eva smiles joyfully as Heather gulps out of fear)
(Chris walks over to the trailers)
Chris: Shh. They're sleeping.
(Chris begins speaking through a megaphone)
Chris: This is your five a.m. wake up call!
(The contestants wake up)
Chris: I'm only kidding. You can sleep for now.
(The contestants sigh as they head off to sleep)
Chris: That's a wrap on day one. How will Owen fare with a stomach full of foam core and sawdust? What will tomorrow hold for Gwen and Trent? Who knows what drama is in store for our cast? Well, I do. But I ain't tellin'. See you next time for another thrilling episode of Total. Drama. Action! McLean out.
(The monster is heard roaring)
Chris: Can someone please put a wrap on that monster?!