Cut to Chris on a brand new island. "Welcome, Total Drama fans! Put on some clean undies. 'Cause things are about to get wild! Yeah! Fourteen spanking fresh contestants and a totally brand new location! A Cree island in Western Canada. As you might recall, during our super duper omega amazing All-Star finale, I mentioned how we were going to have a new island for the next season. The only things we brought back were the outhouse confessional and the horrific butt smells that live inside it." Chris said as an intern fell out of the confessional. "It'll be the roughingest roughing it that's ever been roughed on Total Drama. So, buckle up. This is Total. Drama. Pahkitew Island!" he ended the intro.
(Theme song)
The song begins with cameras popping out of everywhere before a clipboard snaps.
[Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine]
[You guys are on my mind]
The camera zooms past a river where Topher was on a rock before Chris shoved him off and posed as the camera went into the woods.
[You asked me what I wanted to be, and now I think the answer's plain to see]
[I wanna be famous!]
In the woods, Sammy was picking some berries from a bush before Amy dumped an entire bucket of them on her head as Rodney came to offer her some flowers before she smacked his hand.
[I wanna live close to the sun]
[Well pack your bags, cause I've already won]
Ella was singing on a cliff next to Sky, an annoyed Sugar and some animals. Sugar shoved her off the cliff as Sky gasped and the animals attacked her.
[Everything to prove, nothing in my way]
[I'll get there one day]
[Cause I wanna be famous!]
Shawn and Jasmine were looking around on a tree as Ella floated by them, carried by some animals. Meanwhile, Chef was doing some repairs on the confessional while Leonard and Beardo annoyed Dave.
[Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!]
The camera panned over where Max was laughing evilly with a remote next to Scarlett and a robot.
[I wanna be]
[I wanna be]
[I wanna be famous!]
[I wanna be]
[I wanna be]
[I wanna be famous!]
Max activated the remote as the robot began to malfunction as he cowered while Scarlett held up an umbrella as the robot blew up while time changed to the night. The camera panned down to the campfire where Shawn and Jasmine were sitting together before getting interrupted by Chris popping up with a zombie mask, scaring Shawn away as Jasmine looked confused. The camera panned away to show everyone around the campfire whistling. "Total Drama Pahkitew Island" is written on a nearby sign.
Cut to inside a flying zeppelin where the new 14 contestants were located. A girl in a pink dress and a straw hat was singing on a seat next to a girl with black hair, orange earrings, a yellow and purple vest and black shorts who took out a packet of pink gum. "Want some gum?" Sky offered to the short boy with a purple bowl cut and a black and purple supervillain outfit.
"Your offer of simple confectionery will not save you from the pure evil of me! But yes, thank you." Max said before taking it and choking on it. "Uh! Cinnamon! There is no need for you to be that spicy!" he angrily said.
Meanwhile, a guy with slicked hair and glasses in a blue suit with a yellow undershirt and brown pants laughed awkwardly at this. "That guy's a little weird…" Dave said to himself before turning around to see a guy in a green and yellow wizard suit.
"Expelliarmus! I know many spells to ward off evil." Leonard said as he waved a stick.
"Oh. Good?" Dave said awkwardly as the girl from before with the girl with the pink dress passed by him.
"And there's nothing that can't be made sweeter than a song!" Ella sang as she walked past a guy with a tied afro, blue hoodie with a fire design and headphones in front of two girls with cheerleader outfits, one red with a ponytail and the other blue with her hair down.
"Song!" Beardo said after beatboxing as the red cheerleader looked disgusted.
"Ew! Switch seats with me, right now." Amy angrily told the blue cheerleader as she sighed.
"Ugh, fine." Sammy sighed as they switched places, only for Amy to gasp when she saw a tall Australian woman with a green explorer outfit next to her.
"Giant!" Amy gasped.
"Are you and I gonna have a problem?" Jasmine asked.
"Switch back, now!" Amy angrily said.
"Fine." Sammy sighed as they swapped back.
"Hey, you alright mate?" Jasmine asked Sammy.
"Yeah. Sorry about that, Amy can sometimes be harsh." Sammy said.
"It's fine. But you really shouldn't just do everything she says and stand up for yourself." Jasmine said.
"I know, I just…" Sammy sighed.
Meanwhile, a guy with brown hair who dressed up like a bootleg version of Chris ran by. "Chris? Yo, Chris? What the... I don't get it! Chris? Chris has gotta be here somewhere. Anyone seen Chris, you seen Chris?" Topher asked as he saw a fat girl with styled gold hair in a pageant dress filing her nails.
"Stop your fidgeting! You scuff my pageant shoes and I'll toss you out the window. You'll be squished flat in two minutes!" Sugar angrily said as she slammed Topher into a nearby wall before a ginger woman with a bun and a lab coat approached them.
"Actually, in the first fourteen seconds, he would fall 1,800 feet, but then he would reach terminal velocity and drop 176 feet per second, so if we're flying at the recommended 32,000 feet, he would hit the ground in three minutes and six seconds." Scarlett explained.
"The hell are you talking about? Is that some" Sugar asked as Scarlett looked unamused.
Meanwhile, a giant ginger freckled farm boy who was sitting next to a shaggy guy with a green beanie and an orange coat saw this. "Wow. That girl has some real brains, huh?" Rodney said.
"Brains? Whose brains? No one is getting my brains!" Shawn said as he cowered.
"Nah man, I meant like how her brains must be impressive due to her being so smart." Rodney said.
"Well, then maybe the zombies will attack her first… Ah!" Shawn thought as a thunderstorm began.
Meanwhile, Chef was in the cockpit. "This ain't good. Hang on! This might get hairy!" Chef said to the intercom.
"Oh!" Sugar gasped as Ella screamed while singing as everyone tried to hold onto something before Chris somehow arrived with a lightning zap.
"Hello, newbies. Ready for some fun?" Chris asked.
"Yes!" Ella said as she approached him.
"Yes!" Topher said as he approached him.
"Huh, a couple of keeners. I'm sure a little pain and starvation will fix that. Now let's get started. This aircraft stinks, and is equipped with two emergency exits. Here and at the end of the cabin. At said exits, you will find parachute packs. Only half of them contain actual parachutes. The other half contain surprises that will be utterly useless while falling from the sky." Chris explained.
"Well, hopefully we won't need them." Sky said.
"Yeah, I really don't feel like dying today." Dave said.
"Who knows? This season is full of surprises. Like this." Chris said as he pressed a button, blowing the engine up. Everyone screamed as they tried to grab parachutes.
"Ah!" Max screamed as he jumped.
"Move!" Jasmine said as she jumped.
"Gah!" Amy said as she jumped.
"Ah!" Sky said as she jumped while Topher approached Chris.
"This is great. You've outdone yourself, Chris. Heh, Parachute?" Topher said as he offered Chris a parachute.
"Oh, no thank you. I'm actually a hologram." Chris said as Chef came.
"Wow! That's so crazy awesome!" Topher said.
"What? Why ain't I a hologram?!" Chef said as he poked Chris, only for him to disappear.
"I guess the holograms are reserved for the host with the most!" Topher said.
"Of course. Abandon ship!" Chef screamed as he took the parachute from Topher and jumped.
"Hup!" Topher screamed as he jumped after him.
Cut to everyone falling from the sky while screaming. "The koala says "cluck" to the platypus for luck." Jasmine said as she pulled her string, opening a parachute.
Beardo pulled his string, only for a chicken and a trumpet to fall out as he made some sad trumpet noises.
Amy and Sammy screamed as Sammy held onto Amy's leg as she pulled her string, opening a parachute. "Yes! Ugh, why are you clinging onto my leg!? Get your own shitty parachute!" Amy said as she kicked Sammy off as she screamed and pulled her string, opening a parachute.
"Yes!" Sammy cheered.
"See, was that so hard? Next time, don't bother me!" Amy angrily said.
"Sorry." Sammy sighed.
"Purr-fect." Sky said as she pulled her string, only for some parachuted cats to fly out.
Sugar pulled her string out, causing a crown and a paper to fall out as she grabbed them. "Oh, thank you! Thank you! I'm not prepared to make a speech, but, I am so proud to be crowned Miss- oof! Crud." Sugar said as the paper was hit by a trumpet.
Dave pulled his string out, only for some feathers to fly out. "Yup. Feathers. I get it. Funny," Dave rolled his eyes.
Topher pulled his string out, opening a parachute. "Ah. I knew Chris wouldn't let me fall!" Topher said.
Leonard pulled his string out, only for some tambourines to fly out. "Time to cast a spell. Hmm, wings? Uh, page 318." Leonard said as he opened a book.
Chef pulled his string out, only for some meat and a chef hat to fly out. "Oh, that's just wrong." Chef said.
Rodney pulled his string out, opening a parachute. "All right! That's what I'm talking about!" Rodney cheered.
Sugar pulled her string out, causing a teddy bear with a parachute to fly out. "I'm glad you're safe, little bear! Hello there. Care for a song? I'm falling on a sunny, sunny day! Hit the ground, I just may!" Ella sang as a bird approached her as she grabbed a tambourine.
Scarlett pulled her string out, opening a parachute. "Hmm, the odds of getting this was 50% so it's not that impressive." Scarlett thought.
Max pulled his string out, opening a parachute. "White!? That is too non-evil! I need to paint this foul thing black… as soon as I land." Max said.
Shawn pulled his string out, only for some hot dogs to fly out. "Normally, I love hot dogs, right now, not so much! Oof! Hey, thanks!" Shawn said as Jasmine grabbed him and Leonard.
"Hey, my spell worked." Leonard said.
"Don't mention it. Too bad I can't carry more though." Jasmine said as Beardo, Dave, Sugar, and Chef fell screaming.
Meanwhile, Chris was next to a shore. "And here they come now." Chris said.
"Ah!" Beardo said as he fell in the water.
"Ah!" Dave said as he fell in the water.
"Ah!" Sugar said as she fell in the water.
"Ah!" Chef said as he fell in the water.
"Oof!" Shawn grunted as Jasmine landed and dropped him and Leonard.
"OMG, I did it." Sammy said as she landed.
"Break my fall!" Amy yelled from above.
"Huh? Ow!" Sammy grunted as Amy landed on her.
"Oh. Sorry. Hey, at least you were useful for something." Amy smirked.
"Oh, yay." Sammy groaned.
Sky slid down a tree and jumped in the water. "Phew." Sky groaned.
"Whoa. That was pretty cool." Dave said.
"Thanks! I've been practicing that at the gymnastics club for a while now." Sky said as Beardo made an olympic victory noise.
"Uh… what?" Dave said in confusion as Beardo made a confusion noise.
Confessional: Dave
"That guy is going to get annoying really fast. I came here to get some peace and quiet but a lot of the people here seem way too wacky, at least Sky seems cool for now." Dave said
Meanwhile, Ella was being carried by birds and landed in front of a flabbergasted Chris. "Thank you, my feathered friends." Ella said.
"Wha-? How did you do that!" Chris said.
"Oh, you see, all animals are my friends! They help me out when I sing for them!" Ella said.
"Yeah but those aren't- nevermind." Chris said.
"You could've at least given me one of the parachutes!" Chef angrily said as he approached Chris.
"Shoulda, coulda, oops, didn't. But you're right and I'm sorry. Maybe. Let's see… Huh, only one missing. Not so bad." Chris counted.
Max's parachute was tangled in a nearby tree. "If you do not release me, tree, you will be burnt to the gro-ah! Oof!" Max said as he fell off the tree.
Cut to everyone gathered up in front of Chris and Chef. "Welcome to Pahkitew Island. On the right, everyone who had actual parachutes. Scarlett, Topher, Rodney, Jasmine, Max, Amy, and Sammy." Chris said.
"What! No, her name is Samey!" Amy said.
"Uh, it's Sammy." Sammy said.
"Yeah right, keep telling yourself that. Everyone calls you Samey!" Amy said.
"Well, yes, but…" Sammy said.
"You're the second twin. AKA a lesser version of me, if you will." Amy said.
"But my real name is–" Sammy said.
"Her name is Samey, end of story." Amy said.
"Yeah, can you shut up? I really couldn't care about your annoying sibling fight." Chris said.
"I told you this would happen." Chef whispered.
Confessional: Sammy
"This is so unfair. I auditioned for Total Drama to get away from Amy and now I have to deal with her being here and on my team? Ugh, I should have hidden my audition tape better." Sammy sighed.
Confessional: Amy
"Well, I only really auditioned to mock Samey on live television but I guess the money could be nice too. I'm obviously going to win anyway." Amy said.
"Your team will be the Pimâpotew Kinosewak, which is Cree for Soaring Eagles." Chris said as he looked at a card.
"Um, no, sorry, wrong. That means the Floating Salmon." Sky said.
"Oh. Then I guess you're the Floating Salmon. Those without chutes. Shawn, Leonard, Ella, Dave, Beardo, Sky, and Sugar. Your team is the Waneyihtam Maskwak, which in Cree means Ferocious Ti–" Chris said as he looked at the card again.
"The Confused Bears?" Sky asked as Chris looked upset and tore up the card.
"This is what you get for using a free online translator. At least use Google translate or something!" Chris said.
"Pfft, my bad." Chef scoffed.
"Anywho... seeing as there's nowhere for any of you to sleep tonight, we figured your first challenge should be... to build your own shelter." Chris said.
"Oh, muffin tops. I'm too tired for that." Sugar said as she sat on a rock as Beardo made an among us noise.
"That sound! It can only mean one thing… one of us is an impostor!" Leonard gasped.
"Well, that was not me. A pageant queen is never an impostor unless it's her talent. But there'd be more to it. Maybe she'd play a flute or–" Sugar said.
"Don't worry new friend, I believe you!" Ella said.
"Hey! Who said you could interrupt me!?" Sugar angrily said.
"Oh, I'm sorry." Ella said nervously
"Why the hell are you guys talking about Among U–" Dave tried to say before he was interrupted by Chris whistling on top of a pile.
"Hey! Nice guy! Yeah, I was talking! Each team may take supplies from the common area before they begin to build. But these supplies are guarded by Chef, armed with a powerful tennis ball blaster. A glancing blow will sting." Chris said as Chef blasted a tennis ball onto Sky's forehead.
"Ow!" Sky grunted in pain.
"Are you alright?" Dave asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Sky said.
"And a direct hit can take you right to the ground." Chris said as Chef blasted a tennis ball onto Max's kiwis.
"Ah!" Max said as he fell.
"Will someone please help that little boy to his feet?" Chris asked.
"On it!" Rodney said as he pulled Max up, only for him to fall down again.
"Good enough. On with the challenge. Team Maskwak will build their shelter further inland. Team Kinosewak towards the beach. Best shelter, according to me, wins the challenge. Begin!" Chris said as he blurted an airhorn. Chef began firing as the teams ran away screaming.
"Bears, follow me!" Sky said as the Waneyihtam Maskwak ran after her as Beardo made car noises.
"Let's move, Salmons!" Jasmine said as the Pimâpotew Kinosewak followed her and hid behind a rock as Rodney carried Max.
"Listen up, we–" Rodney tried to say before he was interrupted.
"Here's the plan-" Jasmine tried to say before she was interrupted.
"We each grab-" Rodney tried to say before he was interrupted.
"Three of us should-" Jasmine tried to say before she was interrupted.
"What do you think you're doing?" Rodney asked.
"Could you just listen for a second?" Jasmine asked.
Confessional: Rodney
"On the farm, it's just me, my dad, and my five little brothers. I'm kinda used to being in charge." Rodney explained.
Confessional: Jasmine.
"It's always the big guys that are intimidated by me. Small guys, too. Heh, and most girls. I intimidate people." Jasmine sighed.
"Just listen to the plan. We need to decide what items are important and make sure we get them. Got it?" Jasmine said as she pulled Rodney to her.
Confessional: Rodney
"Well, I guess we can do it her way. And she seems pretty nice too. No… could it be?" Rodney said in shock.
"And that's how we'll win. Cool?" Jasmine said.
"With a plan that… uh… cool! Yeah sure!" Rodney chuckled as Jasmine looked confused.
Cut to the Waneyihtam Maskwak behind a rock. "One pass each. Grab something good and make your way back here. Got it?" Sky said as Beardo made a correct sound effect.
"Yeah! She's totally right! Good call. I have some dirt on my hands, but no big deal. Let's do what she says!" Dave said.
"Uh, right." Sky said.
"Just get a move on already!" Sugar angrily said.
Cut back to the Pimâpotew Kinosewak. "The wood is the most important thing out there, so... if you have something to say, Scarlett, just bark it out." Jasmine said as Scarlett raised her hand.
"Um, no, but the wheelbarrow is more important than the wood because it's a class two lever, and with the wheel acting as a fulcrum, you can–" Scarlett tried to say before she was interrupted.
"We can carry stuff in it!" Sammy said.
"You stole that from Scarlett! And that's probably a terrible idea anyway." Amy said.
"I have to disagree. Carrying stuff sounds pretty evil. Let's do it!" Max said.
"Nice, Amy. You and Samey help Rodney load the wood into the wheelbarrow and go." Jasmine.
"Whatever you say boss, I'm on it!" Rodney.
"Move it, Giant!" Amy said as she pulled Rodney's cheek.
"Ow!" Rodney said as Samey followed them.
Cut to the Waneyihtam Maskwak. "Who's up first?" Sky asked.
"I'll go. My training made me ready for this kind of stuff." Shawn said as he ran off and hid behind a rock before grabbing a can and running back.
"Way to go, Shawn!" Sky said.
"How did he do that?" Dave asked.
Confessional: Shawn
"Dodging those balls was easy. In my mind, I'm always running from zombies. And if you're not, you're crazy. Anyway, I grabbed some soup. Cream of broccoli? Aw…" Shawn sighed as he saw what he grabbed.
Cut to Amy using Sammy as a human shield. "Ow!" Samey said as she was pelted by balls.
"Hey, stop screaming? You're making us sound weak." Amy said.
"I have it!" Rodney said as he grabbed the wheelbarrow and ran back as he hit Sammy and Amy with it, causing them to fall in it.
"I'm going for the rope. Everybody bring something good, okay? Hi-yah!" Jasmine said to Scarlett, Topher, and Max before jumping away.
Confessional: Topher
"I'll bring my face!" Topher posed.
Cut to the Waneyihtam Maskwak. "Ugh, why couldn''t it at least be tomato soup? I heard zombies love this flavor." Shawn said.
"Zombies? Soup? You grabbed soup? You can't make a house out of soup!" Dave angrily said.
"Not with that attitude. I once built a castle using nothing but a sunflower and the eyelash of a dragon." Leonard said.
"There's no way we can lose. We've got a wizard on our team." Sugar said.
"Indeed! I'd love to see a spell!" Ella said.
"I can't waste TP. You'll see it eventually in this challenge." Leonard said as Beardo made some magic noises.
Confessional: Dave
"Oh god, what did I get myself into." Dave sighed.
Cut to Chris next to Chef firing balls as Topher came. "Hey, hey, Chris, you'll be throwing to commercial soon, right?" Topher asked.
"Um, yeah, why do you ask, Topher?" Chris asked.
"Well, it's always been a little dream of mine to watch your work, live! Heh!" Topher said.
"Who am I to deny the dreams of such an intelligent young man. Pardon me a moment. Building supplies are being collected, Team Kinosewak is doing a very wood job, but Team Maskwak is looking kind of soup-id. You don't wanna miss any of this here on Total. Drama. Pahkitew Island!" Chris said.
"Bravo, encore, brilliant!" Topher said.
"I like this kid." Chris said as the screen cut to black.
Cut back to Chris, Chef and Topher. "We're back. The players are moving, Chef is shooting, pick your favorite team, and start a-rooting." Chris said.
"So funny. Love it." Topher laughed.
"Thank you. But now it's time to get you back into the action." Chris said.
"Okay. Uh… Oof!" Topher grunted as Chef threw him away.
"When a house is a home, and a home is a house! This is not a dress, It's a skirt and a blouse!" Ella sang as she grabbed some planks.
"Is she singing?" Chris said.
Confessional: Ella
"I was a huge fan of Total Drama World Tour. I even memorized all the songs there! And just because we don't have to sing in this season doesn't mean we can't sing." Ella said.
"Good news! I found a bucket of glitter!" Ella said as she grabbed a bucket of glitter.
"Marvelous!" Leonard cheered.
"No, not marvelous. Glitter? Is she out of her mind?" Dave angrily said.
"She must be, 'cause it's obvious that glitter should be mine." Sugar said.
"What?" Dave said in shock.
"Dave, you draw Chef's fire while Beardo makes a run for the supplies." Sky as Beardo made a ding ding noise. "Ready?" she asked.
"Um… can it be with someone les-" Dave tried to say before he was interrupted.
"Go!" Sky yelled as Dave ran out.
"Hey... hello? Here! Ee, ooh, ah!" Dave yelped as he dodged the balls.
"Okay, Beardo, now!" Sky said as Beardo nodded.
Cut to Beardo running in slow motion while screaming. "Huh? Why are you running in slow motion?" Dave asked as Beardo passed him and got hit by a tennis ball in the kiwis and groaned.
"Six o'clock!" Chris chuckled.
Cut to Sugar searching the pile. "Come on! Ain't there another bucket of glitter somewhere in this mess? Oof! Oof!" Sugar asked as she grabbed a TV, only to be hit by a tennis ball and drop it on her head as Chref toxic yaoi laughed while Scarlett pulled Max who was in the wheelbarrow.
"Pull faster, minion! Before we're- eh! Ah!" Max yelped as he got hit by a tennis ball.
"Oh…" Dave said as he ran away and saw Leonard who had a pipe.
"This foe is beyond you! Fly, you fool!" Leonard said.
"Um... okay?" Dave said as he ran away.
"Go back to the shadows of Wawanwakwa! You shall not pa–" Leonard said before he got pelted by tennis balls.
Cut to Dave arriving in front of Sky. "Okay, Sky? I have an idea. Since everyone else on the team are weirdos, you and me can–" Dave tried to say before Sky jumped out, dodged some balls and grabbed a plank, deflecting a tennis ball back onto Chef's face.
"Wowzers! That girl's got some skills, huh?" Chris chuckled and blurted an airhorn. "It's building time! You coming or do you only wanna get paid for half the episode?" he asked Chef as he walked away.
"Still don't get paid enough for this…" Chef sighed as he followed him.
Cut to Max finding a cave. "This cave will be perfect. Muahaha- Mm, try that again. Muahahah- Pfft, it's not my lair!" Max said and failed to laugh evilly before going into the cave and running out screaming, being chased by bats.
Confessional: Max
"It was very dark in there. I prefer something less spooky. Not to worry, no rush, plenty of time to evil. Oh and finding someone else who is also evil to be my fr–I mean minion!" Max said.
Cut to the Pimâpotew Kinosewak working on a tree. "Topher, Scarlett, glue the boards. Rodney, help me with the support beams. Amy and Samey, faster!" Jasmine said before hearing some drill noises.
"Ugh, can't those assholes be more quiet?" Amy angrily said.
"What are they building?" Sammy asked.
"Sounds pretty serious." Rodney said.
"All the more reason to work harder!" Jasmine said.
Cut to the Waneyihtam Maskwak gathered around a rock as Beardo made jackhammer noises.
"Could you please stop making sound effects already?" Dave angrily said as Beardo made screeching noises and stopped.
"What are we gonna build?" Shawn asked.
"We have rope, straw, a hammer…" Sky said.
"Some very pretty glitter." Ella said.
"And soup, huh?" Shawn said.
"We shall build a wizard's tower!" Leonard announced.
"Oh, yes, I second that!" Ella said as she raised her hand.
"Wizard says, Sugar does. Who's with us?" Sugar asked as she raised her hand. Beardo made a whistle and a ding noise as he raised his hand. "Four votes for a wizard tower!" she said.
"But, no. No! That's a terrible idea. We're not gonna–" Dave said.
"Dave, I don't like this either but the team voted. Building something is better than building nothing. We gotta hurry. What do we do first, Leonard?" Sky said.
"First, we link arms and chant." Leonard said as Shawn, Sky, Ella, Sugar and Beardo gathered up.
"Really?" Dave sighed.
Confessional: Dave
"This better work." Dave said.
Cut to Jasmine hammering the last nail in the Pimâpotew Kinosewak shelter which was a treehouse that everyone was one. "There. All done." Jasmine said.
"Ugh, no evil shel-Hey! What are you nincompoops doing?" Max asked as he arrived.
"Working on the shelter unlike some people. Where the hell were you?" Jasmine asked.
"My evil is none of your business!" Max said.
Confessional: Jasmine
"I know who I'm voting out if we lose." Jasmine said.
"This is nice. And a smart move building it above ground level." Chris said as he flew over with a jetpack.
"Oh yeah? And why is that?" Max asked as the ground began to shake.
"Whoa!" Amy, Samey, and Topher said in shock.
"Oof!" Jasmine grunted as she fell in Rodney's arms.
"Here comes your answer!" Chris said.
"Oh!" Max screamed as he was run over by a group of moose.
"This island is a little more wild than our last one!" Chris chuckled.
Cut to the Waneyihtam Maskwak wizard tower which was just a pile of rocks. Beardo made some fanfare noises.
"Oh, zip it!" Dave angrily said as Beardo made a record scratch as Dave groaned. "Well, this is useless." he said.
"But it's not done! Ella?" Leonard said.
"Here!" Ella said as she showed the bucket of glitter before Sugar took it from her.
"Leave this to the professionals." Sugar said as she threw the bucket of glitter at the tower, making Dave choke on glitter.
"Ugh! Huh? Where's Shawn going?" Dave asked as he saw Shawn walking away.
"Maybe he is finding more stuff for the wizard tower!" Leonard said.
Confessional: Shawn
"Spend the night with a bunch of strangers who could turn into zombies while I'm sleeping? Ha, no thank you! I prefer trees." Shawn said.
"Team Maskwak. Wizard's tower, huh?" Chris said as he came while Dave sighed. "So, is it moose-proof? Ha ha." he asked.
"Is it what now?" Sky asked as some rumbling noises began.
"Ah, crud." Sugar said.
"Take cover!" Sky screamed as Beardo made some alarm noises as everyone went behind the rock aside from Leonard who ducked.
"Huzzah! The beasts of Pahkitew Island are no match for my wizard's tower!" Leonard said as he saw the tower was unscathed before it began to shake. "Forcefield!" he yelled as all the rocks fell around him, destroying the tower while Leonard was sitting unharmed in the middle. "It worked!" he said.
"He really is a wizard!" Sugar said as Dave facepalmed.
Cut to everyone gathered around Chris and Chef. "I'd like to say it was a hard decision. But let's keep it real. Team Pimâpotew Kinosewak wins the challenge." Chris said.
"Aw…" Sky sighed as Pimâpotew Kinosewak cheered while Sammy offered Max a high-five.
"No. Evil does not high five." Max said.
"If you say so?" Sammy said.
"The winners of each challenge will be rewarded this season with a take out order from a sponsoring restaurant. This week, it's the Petting Zoo Barbecue. The Petting Zoo Barbecue. "Someone else touched your dinner. We guarantee it."" Chris explained.
"Sgoor. I always wanted a pony." Sugar sighed.
Confessional: Scarlett
"A petting zoo barbeque does not sound appetizing, but it's better than having to hunt for food. I prefer doing more mind related things." Scarlett explained.
"Team Waneyihtam Maskwak, please go vote. One member of your team is heading home today." Chris said as they all complained.
Cut to the elimination. "Welcome to the Pahkitew Island elimination area. This is where we determine who stays to play another day, and who gets a one-way ticket home." Chris said.
Confessional: Dave
"Can I vote for four people?" Dave asked.
Confessional: Leonard
"How can a wizard's tower not win?
Confessional: Beardo
He made some driving noises before screeching and making a crashing noise as he fell.
"Scrawny kid! You spent most of your time complaining about your teammates!" Chef called out Dave who scoffed.
"Princess 1 and Princess 2! You voted for the failing wizard tower and spent your time bickering!" Chef called out Sugar and Ella and Sugar glared at Ella.
"Wizard guy! You think you're a wizard, and you convinced your team to build something very, very stupid." Chef called out Leonard who looked worried.
"Alla forgeticus…" Leonard said.
"Uh, yeah. Finally, beatbox man. You did very little to help your team and tried to convince us that there was an impostor." Chef said as Beardo made winding down noise.
"The votes are in. If I hand you a marshmallow, you're safe." Chris said as he began tossing the marshmallows.
"Sky." he said as he tossed her a marshmallow.
"Yes!" Sky cheered as she caught it.
"Shawn." Chris said as he tossed him a marshmallow.
"Dave." he said as he tossed her a marshmallow.
"Ella." " he said as he tossed her a marshmallow.
"and Sugar. You are safe." he said as he tossed Sugar a marshmallow which she ate. Leonard and Beardo both looked concerned.
"The last marshmallow goes to…
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Beardo." he said as he tossed him a marshmallow while he made a 1UP noise. "Leonard! Yeah, pack your potions. You're going home first." he said.
"Me?" Leonard said in shock.
"No!" Sugar gasped.
"Magic boots and armpit smell, bring forth a time reversal spell! Ah!" Leonard said as Chef grabbed him and walked away.
"Nothing? So weird." Chris said.
"Fireball! Lightning bolt!" Leonard said.
"This island is named Pahkitew, which is the Cree word for exploding, so we thought it fitting that this season's mode of transportation home should be something with a bang." Chris said.
Cut to Leonard in the Cannon of Shame. "Without further ado, I give you the Boom of Abashment, the Kablam of Chagrin. This season's humiliating way home. The Cannon of Shame." Chris said as everyone gasped.
"Aw, nuts." Leonard said.
"Check this out, Chef. I'm gonna show you a little magic trick of my own. Watch in amazement, as I make this contestant... disappear!" Chris said as he blasted Leonard away.
"I love you, wizard!" Sugar screamed as Leonard disappeared from sight.
"You know what's weird? I already don't miss him. Ha ha. Well, that's one down and thirteen to go. Who's the next human cannonball? There are just too many good choices. Tune in and find out yourself. Here, on Total. Drama. Pahkitew Island!" Chris said as the episode ended.
VOTES:
Confessional: Sky
"Yeah… I probably should have known to not build that tower." Sky said as she crossed out a picture of Leonard.
Confessional: Dave
"Ugh, it's hard to choose and not for a good reason, but Beardo's noises really tick me off." Dave said as he angrily crossed out a picture of Beardo.
Confessional: Leonard
"Sir Beardo's dangerous noises can attract monsters that I'll need to defeat to pass." Leonard said as he drew a dragon on a picture of Beardo.
Confessional: Ella
"I am sorry for this, my friend. I'm sure you are a real wizard but you failed today." Ella said as she drew some birds on a picture of Leonard.
Confessional: Beardo
Beardo made an exploding noise as he showed a picture of Leonard with an explosion drawn on it.
Confessional: Sugar
"No way am I voting the wizard! I guess that beatbox guy is kind of sus." Sugar said as she drew a giant cross on a picture of Beardo.
Confessional: Shawn
"Leonard is just weird. I mean who thinks they're a wizard? That's like thinking zombies aren't real. Yeah, right!" Shawn said as he drew a grave on a picture of Leonard.
BONUS CLIP
Leonard's Audition Tape
Leonard was in his room which was filled with posters and chemicals. "What would make me a good contestant? Well, I've battled armies of vampires and demons from the darkest mountains of Ravenscroft, and I've defeated them all with my trusty staff. I have also beaten every dragon and collected every single type of monster. I have 10000 power in Rise of Ki- eh, eh." Leonard said as his phone rang. "Hello? Oh, hey Timmy. No, can't. Making a video. Plus, yesterday, someone stole my unicycle. Yes, I'm very serious! Walk? But it's raining. No, I'm not made of paper. But my cape is." he told the person on the phone.
Waneyihtam Maskwak: Beardo, Dave, Ella, Shawn, Sky, Sugar
Pimâpotew Kinosewak: Amy, Jasmine, Max, Rodney, Samey, Scarlett, Topher
Eliminated Contestants:
14. Leonard
Pahkitew is finally here! Sorry for the wait, had some personal stuff to deal with. I hope you enjoyed this intro chapter, this cast is pretty mid so I hope the changes I make to them will make them more enjoyable. I don't hate Pakithew but it's my 3rd least fav season, only beaten by 2024 and AS. Oh and Leonard is first boot now because it's fucking Leonard why wouldn't we be first boot.
Next chapter might take some time, I wrote this one more as an intro.