Our Moments

By Khira

Summary: Turning points of the relationship between Kakashi and Iruka since the death of the Third Hokage until the end of the manga. Yaoi.

A/N: Hello everyone! This is my first Kakairu story. I originally wrote it in Spanish (still in process), and now I'm going to translate it into English with the help of my beta Merley (thank you so much!).

Hope you enjoy it!

Khira

Scene 1

He didn't want to invade his privacy. He just wanted to make sure he was alright.

Those two thoughts danced around in Kakashi's mind while, using his best skills as a ninja to avoid detection, clasped to the side of Iruka's apartment window, with a sharpened ear like a common spy.

At first he heard nothing. Well, Iruka had just arrived back from the Third's funeral less than five minutes ago. Actually, the funeral had been over for more than an hour, but Iruka had stayed there a long time, alone in the rain, watching the stone written with the name of someone who had been like a father to him. Kakashi had watched him from the distance, not daring to approach him in order to give him privacy to grieve. On his way home, Kakashi quietly followed him roof-to-roof, his eyes trained solely on the chuunin. Iruka had stopped to buy a bottle of sake, which meant that the young teacher was going to drown his sorrows in alcohol and that worried the jounin.

After a few minutes, Kakashi began to hear the first sounds. Crockery sounds. And a few seconds later, Iruka was pouring himself a drink. Kakashi knew that by the sound of the liquid. He sighed. Perhaps it would just be one drink.

But Iruka poured himself a second drink. And a third. Kakashi bit his lip. What should he do? His heart ached for concern. He wished they were friends; if they were, he could come to his home and simply take care of him and his future hangover. But they were not friends, they were just acquaintances. And since that unfortunate incident, when Kakashi insisted that Team 7 was ready to face the chuunin exams and Iruka was opposed to it, they had barely spoken.

Iruka poured himself the fourth drink. Kakashi clenched his teeth. The last time Iruka had drunk so much it was when that stupid Mizuki showed his true colors. Many people believed that Iruka and Mizuki had just been colleagues, but Kakashi knew - his old habit of spying - that there was something else. And when Iruka came back home from the hospital where he had to remain hospitalized because of the wound on his back – a wound caused by Mizuki - the young teacher had emptied two bottles of sake and cried and cried until he fell asleep. Maybe this time would be the same and the only consequences for Iruka would just be a terrible headache.

Suddenly, a loud noise startled Kakashi. Concern made him ignore his ninja instinct to remain hidden as he looked through the window. Iruka had smashed the sake bottle against the wall -at least he couldn't drink more sake that night - and now he was bent over his knees, his face buried in his arms, sobbing. Heartbreaking sobs, in this case Kakashi's heart.

He just couldn't see him like this and do nothing.

The jounin ignored the warning signs in his head and entered the house through the window. Iruka reacted almost instantly, jumping up and looking surprised at the intruder with teary eyes.

"Kakashi?!" he exclaimed.

"Iruka..."

Iruka tried to wipe his face with both hands, but tears kept falling and soon his face was wet again. He had removed his uniform jacket and wore only a plain black T-shirt.

"Kakashi... What are you doing here?"

"I was worried about you. I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine."

"You don't look fine to me."

A tense expression appeared on Iruka's face, but it faded quickly. The chuunin stifled a sob again and wiped his face with one hand, clearly embarrassed.

"I'll be fine. Don't worry."

"Can't help it."

Kakashi knew he was talking too much, but at this time it was more important to him to comfort Iruka than hide his own feelings. He approached him slowly and put a friendly hand on his shoulder. Iruka was shivering from crying.

"Iruka..."

"I'll be fine..." the young teacher repeated, but his voice broke, "Fuck…"

Kakashi couldn't take it anymore. He held Iruka with both arms and hugged him.

"Keep on crying. It isn't good to hold the tears in."

"I shouldn't cry..." Iruka sobbed against his neck, "I am an adult ninja, for goodness sakes, I shouldn't cry…"

"Forget that and keep going. That's an order."

Iruka did. He cried on Kakashi's shoulder for a while and he – in turn - did not care. Finally he had Iruka in his arms, although the circumstances were not exactly the best.

When Iruka stopped crying at last, he did not turn away, but stood silently next to Kakashi. This surprised the jounin who began to feel nervous. Iruka was pressed against him, so tightly, and Kakashi, who had been long wanting, wasn't made of ice.

"Iruka..." he rasped.

"Why are you here?" Iruka's voice was a little doughy, and Kakashi realized that the alcohol was beginning to take effect.

"I've told you. I was worried about you."

"But why? I thought you didn't like me."

Kakashi assumed that Iruka was saying that because of the incident with the chuunin tests, but refused to bring it up.

"That's impossible. Everybody likes you. The whole village adores you."

Iruka stifled an embarrassed giggle. Yes, the alcohol had definitely gone to his head.

And Kakashi was getting a little problem of his own...

«Don't notice it, please... », he pleaded mentally. He knew all he had to do was pull away, but for some reason his limbs didn't respond to the commands of his brain. He could not blame them. Having Iruka pressed so tight against his body... It was like heaven!

But even a drunk Iruka noticed. And let him know.

"Kakashi... Are you excited…?"

Kakashi stared at the ceiling of the room and cursed his reproductive system for having his own life. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. Hopefully Iruka would not remember any of this the following day.

"Yes. I am. I'm sorry Iruka, I didn't want to bother you."

To his disappointment, Iruka pulled away from him. But when Kakashi looked at his face, Iruka did not seem upset, not even surprised, just... curious.

"This is.. because of me?"

Kakashi swallowed.

"Yes. This is because of you."

"Oh."

After a moment of silence, something happened that Kakashi did not expect. Iruka reached out and touched him. He touched him there. Kakashi winced and instinctively grabbed Iruka's wrist, but the chuunin didn't set aside his hand.

"Iruka, what are you doing ...?"

Iruka said nothing. He slid his hand just above the cloth and pressed the bulge a little.

Kakashi hissed and clawed his nails at Iruka's bare skin.

"Damn it, Iruka..."

"Don't want to?"

Don't want to? For god's sake, of course he wanted to. He had loved Iruka for so many years, indeed the first time Kakashi noticed him, Iruka was so young that their relationship would have been illegal. But he never dared to take the step: on one hand because Iruka had never shown any interest in him beyond professional, on the other because the jounin had gotten used to loving him from the distance. Besides, Mizuki was there for him. But now Kakashi was suddenly in this situation, on the threshold to do something that until now he had only been allowed to in his dreams.

The problem was: did Iruka want it? Or was it just a bad reaction to alcohol?

"You want to…?" Kakashi asked, even though he couldn't trust his response.

Iruka looked down for a moment, staring at the bulk in Kakashi pants with unfocused eyes.

"It's been a while…" it was all Iruka said as he moved his hand up and down.

«It's been a while sincewhat?», Kakashi was despaired. Since he had relations? Since he didn't want to have them? Or since he wasn't so drunk?

He couldn't stand it anymore. Iruka's hand was driving him crazy. He had to force an honest answer. So Kakashi released his wrist, took off his mask, wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed him.

Kakashi kissed Iruka heartily, with all the love accumulated through the years, he held nothing back. Iruka groaned and Kakashi took the opportunity to leave no corner of his mouth unexplored. With one hand, he yanked the chuunin's hair tie and threw it to the ground. He then buried his hand in Iruka's hair, enjoying the touch while gently pulling a few strands.

And there it was. The honest answer Kakashi needed. Iruka's arousal against him. Kakashi smiled and pushed him step by step towards the bed, until the young teacher stopped back on it. Kakashi watched him for a moment: wild hair, rosy cheeks, swollen lips. The sight of his waist. The bulge in his pants.

"Oh, Iruka…" he gasped, and laid ontop of him.

Although it was early morning and Kakashi was tired, he was unable to sleep a wink. Having Iruka sleeping beside him, his head resting on his chest, kept him awake, knowing that at any moment he may wake up to a not so pleasant awakening.

They had not gone far, only played with each other, but still Kakashi felt guilty for taking advantage of the drunk chuunin. What if Iruka thought just that? What if he did not forgive him? What if he did not return to speak to him ever? Kakashi couldn't bear a rejection so obvious.

Distracted with those pessimistic thoughts, he stroked Iruka's hair slowly until he noticed him move. The chuunin was waking up.

Now was the moment of truth.

Iruka sat up slowly, looking at Kakashi without seeing him, probably processing his last memories. Finally his eyes focused on the jounin, his bare chest first and then his face uncovered. He took a quick look around the room, his bare feet protruding from the sheets, and finally he looked at Kakashi again. Then he opened his eyes wide, realizing something, though it was not what the other man expected.

"You're not wearing your mask..." He murmured.

"It would have been difficult to kiss you?" was all Kakashi could think to say.

A slight flush spread over the cheeks of chuunin. He looked back at the sheets for a second time.

"We... uh..." He hesitated with uncertainty, "Did we…?"

"Fuck?" Iruka winced at the word. Kakashi couldn't help feeling annoyed to find out that Iruka remembered less than he expected, "No. Of course not."

"Why of course?" Iruka repeated blankly.

"You were not in any condition to get that far."

"Oh. But according to you, I was in a condition to do other things, then."

Kakashi fears were coming true. Iruka thought he had taken advantage of him. All or nothing, the jounin said. If he did not want to lose what little relationship he had with Iruka, he had to confess.

Iruka sat on one side of the bed and reached for his underwear while Kakashi searched for words. As Iruka was about to get up, Kakashi held him by hugging him back. Iruka froze, but did not pull away.

"Wait..." Kakashi murmured against his hair. "I have to tell you something." He took a deep breath before he continued, "What happened between us ... what we have done ... You have to know that I would not have laid a hand on you if you weren't excited too..."

"I was drunk..." Iruka replied.

"And I'm in love with you. So I could not stop."

There was silence for a moment. Iruka got rid of Kakashi's arms to stand and face him.

"You what?" he asked, with an expression that said he was in no mood for his jokes.

"I'm in love with you," Kakashi repeated without hesitation. The cards were already on the table so there was no backing down now.

"You never..." Iruka didn't know what to say. "I mean, you... You are not..."

"Gay?" Kakashi said.

"I was going to say that you have never shown interest in me, but yes, that too."

"I don't know if I'm gay or not, Iruka, but I don't give a shit. I'm only interested in you, and the reason I didn't express it to you is because..." «Because you did not show interest in me. Because I was afraid of your rejection. Because I'm a coward. Because it was easier to me to love you from distance. Because I didn't want you to suffer if something was wrong. Because I did not want to suffer if something happened to you. Because I realized that although we're not in a relationship, it would destroy me to lose you». "Well, because you were with Mizuki," it was all he dared to say.

To Iruka it was a slap in the face.

"That was long ago!" was all he managed to say, hurt and surprised.

"Not so long…" Kakashi insisted quietly.

Iruka clutched his hair, nervously.

"And now what?" he asked.

«That's what I'm asking myself», Kakashi thought. He looked at the sheets and realized that he was still naked and not wearing his mask, "I should put something on." he murmured.

Iruka said nothing, only nodded and quietly withdrew to let Kakashi cover himself.

After a few minutes, already dressed and with the mask in place, Kakashi found Iruka in the kitchen, also dressed. Despite being a late-night, the chuunin was drinking a cup of coffee. He offered Kakashi one who shook his head in turn.

"Well, I think I should leave", Kakashi said, and Iruka said nothing again. That silence on his part irritated him, but he decided it was not the time to push. Kakashi turned to the door. "Sorry for your loss", he said before leaving.

And with the door already closed, he heard Iruka's response through the wood.

"Thank you…"

TBC