21st November 1972
Lily Evans had always prided herself on knowing right from wrong. But at Hogwarts, where lines blurred and emotions ran high, she was starting to realize that nothing was as simple as it seemed.
A few days earlier, things had felt easier. She and Severus had spent the afternoon by the Black Lake, sitting beneath a large tree, its shade shielding them from the bright autumn sun. The cool breeze rustled the leaves above as they tossed pebbles into the water.
"You think Slughorn will ever recruit us into his slug club?" Severus asked, smirking as he watched the ripples spread from where his stone landed.
Lily groaned. "Ugh. He keeps going on about how I'm one of his 'rising stars.' Like I care about impressing a bunch of stuck-up Purebloods."
Severus snorted. "Can't say I blame you. But still, you're good at Potions. Maybe he actually sees talent, not just bloodlines."
Lily rolled her eyes. "I doubt that. You're just as good, if not better. But he barely gives you a second glance."
Severus shrugged, a flicker of something unreadable passing across his face. "It doesn't matter. People like him only see what they want to see."
Lily studied him for a moment. There were times when Severus let his guard down, moments when he wasn't so bitter, so guarded. She missed those moments—they were becoming rarer as the years went by.
"We don't have to let them decide who we are, you know," she said quietly, hugging her knees to her chest.
He turned to her, his expression softer than usual. "I know. But sometimes, it feels like the whole world already has."
Lily wanted to argue, to tell him that he could be whoever he wanted to be, but before she could, the distant chime of the castle bell signalled it was time to head back inside. She stood up and brushed the dirt from her robes.
"Come on, we'll be late for dinner," she said, offering him a hand.
Severus hesitated for only a second before taking it, letting her pull him to his feet.
The Great Hall buzzed with energy that morning. Students were still whispering about Sirius and Regulus' fight at breakfast the previous day, but Lily barely paid attention. She was focused on the charms essay she hadn't finished, furrowing her brow as she scribbled a few last-minute notes.
Then, a sudden crack of thunder boomed through the hall, followed by Severus's unmistakable voice swearing under his breath.
Lily looked up just in time to see a dark raincloud forming above Snape's head, drenching his robes in icy water. The Gryffindor table erupted into laughter, and when she turned, she saw James, Sirius, and Peter smirking in triumph.
James leaned back in his seat, looking particularly pleased with himself. "Look at that, Snivellus, guess even the weather can't stand you."
Lily's blood boiled. She shot up from her seat, storming toward them. "James!"
He blinked up at her innocently. "Yes, Evans?"
"What is wrong with you?" she snapped. "Why do you keep doing this?"
James shrugged. "It's just a bit of fun."
"It's bullying!" she shot back, her green eyes blazing. "You act like he deserves it just because he exists." James simply scoffed in response and turned back to his friends.
Severus, still dripping wet, scowled but didn't meet her eyes. "You shouldn't have done that."
Lily frowned. "What was I supposed to do? Just stand there while they humiliated you?"
Severus exhaled sharply, running a hand through his drenched hair. "You don't get it, do you? Every time you step in, it just makes it worse."
Lily's frustration flared. "Worse for who? I don't care what James and Sirius think, Sev. They were being prats, and they deserved to be called out."
Severus hesitated, his shoulders tense. "You shouldn't have to do that for me."
Lily softened slightly, searching his face. "We've always looked out for each other. Why should that change now?"
Severus' jaw tightened, his expression conflicted. "Because it just does. You're in Gryffindor, Lily. And I—"
"Oh, come on," she interrupted, crossing her arms. "Not this again. Since when does a House define who we are? You and I—"
"It does matter!" Severus snapped suddenly, then immediately seemed to regret it. He took a deep breath before adding, quieter, "At least to people like them. And one day, maybe to you too."
Lily stared at him, something uneasy curling in her stomach. She wanted to argue, to tell him that he was wrong, that their friendship wasn't something so easily divided by house rivalries. But before she could, he shook his head and looked away.
"Just… don't get involved next time," he muttered before brushing past her, still dripping as he walked out of the hall.
Lily stood frozen, her frustration giving way to something heavier. For the first time, she wasn't entirely sure whether Severus was pushing her away—or if he was just afraid she'd leave first.
Lily had never realized how loud the castle could feel until she no longer felt like she belonged in it.
She tried to shake off the tension from the argument with Severus, but the weight of it followed her through the day. The conversation had left a bitter taste in her mouth, a reminder that despite how much she and Severus understood each other, there were things they would never see the same way.
…
The next morning, she avoided the Gryffindor table and instead wandered through the grounds, craving fresh air more than food. The morning wind blew crisp, carrying the scent of damp grass. Her feet led her toward the empty greenhouses, where she could be alone.
Or so she thought.
Sirius Black was leaning against the side of one of the greenhouses, a cigarette dangling between his fingers. He exhaled slowly, watching the smoke curl into the air before noticing her approach.
"Didn't think you were the type to skive off breakfast," he said, raising an eyebrow.
Lily shrugged. "Didn't feel like dealing with people."
Sirius smirked. "Yeah, I know the feeling." He held up the cigarette. "Want one?"
Lily hesitated for only a second before stepping closer. "Alright."
Sirius handed her a cigarette and lit it for her with a flick of his wand. She brought it to her lips, inhaled—and immediately coughed, doubling over as the smoke burned her throat.
Sirius barked out a laugh. "Yeah, that happens."
Lily shot him a glare between coughs. "How do you make it look so easy?"
"Lots of practice," he said with a smirk, taking another drag. "So, are you going to tell me why you're hiding out here?"
Lily exhaled slowly—this time, without choking—and stared at the ground. "Just tired."
Sirius studied her for a moment. "Of what?"
"Everything. James being an idiot, Severus being impossible, not knowing where I fit anymore."
Sirius nodded as if he understood. Maybe he did. "Yeah. Family's a nightmare, too."
Lily glanced at him. "Yours or mine?"
"Both, probably," Sirius smirked but there was no real amusement in it. "Mine sent me another lovely letter about how I'm a disgrace. Told me to be more like Regulus."
Lily scoffed. "That's rubbish."
"Tell that to them." He flicked the ash off the end of his cigarette. "But I'm guessing Snape said something that got in your head."
Lily didn't answer right away. Instead, she took another drag—this time, managing not to cough—and exhaled, watching the smoke curl into the air.
"He thinks we can't be friends forever because of what other people expect from us," she admitted.
Sirius let out a low hum. "That's bollocks. You decide who your friends are, not them."
Lily glanced at him, and for a brief moment, the usual arrogance that surrounded Sirius Black was gone. He looked almost serious, almost like someone who knew what it was like to have people try to dictate his life.
She flicked her cigarette to the ground and stomped it out. "Thanks, Sirius."
"For the fag or the wisdom?" he asked, smirking again.
Lily rolled her eyes. "Both. But don't let it go to your head."
Sirius chuckled as she walked away, the smell of smoke clinging to her clothes and something a little lighter settling in her chest. The Black Lake stretched out before her, calm and unbothered, unlike her own churning thoughts. She wrapped her arms around herself as a breeze rolled over the water.