Jack Kilroy The Check List

Suggested Listening: Fortunate Son.

Arizona Standard Time – ;7,901 B.C. Rotation Adjusted;

'Rotation Adjusted' meant that the Earth's orbit was at this moment in ;time; was not 365 days per year.

However, the years was accurate.

I was off by about 65 million years. Or so I thought. The first thing on my checklist was clearly stated as:

1) Kill and mount a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Everything I was taught in school about the dinosaurs was that they went extinct millions of years ago. I was a few million years later. I thought to myself that this must be a joke. However, since I had limited control over when and where I could jump to using time travel I wasn't about to go anywhere else; until I figured out why I was here.

My criteria for the time jump that took me here was that I wanted to be where I could find a Tyrannosaurus Rex to bag and tag on a big game hunt. I had even brought a machine gun with me. Mr. Stark had given me pretty clear instructions. However, since I was not going to assume this was the right place; I decided to call Barry Allen.

"Hey Jack," said Barry (aka The Flash). "How goes the big game hunt?"

"I'm in the wrong place and time," I said rather upset.

"Why do you think that?" asked Tony Stark; who was listening in.

"Well, my watch says that I'm in almost eight thousand B.C. and I was expecting sixty five million years or so," I complained.

"What makes you think that the historians were correct about the dinos being that old?" replied Tony.

I knew that Start liked to Troll people. But I had a feeling he wasn't this time. I heard a deep guttural sound that echoed aroundme. As I turned around I saw a large bird about the size of a T-Rex and shaped more like a roadrunner than lizard. Obviously the T-Rex I was looking for. It looked at me with a curiosity.

I flipped the safety selector to full auto on the M-16 I had borrowed from the Secret Service armory and emptied the whole magazine into the side of the large creature. I didn't do much. Then it looked at its side. I reloaded; and then it charged me.

Presumably I died. Because the next thing I knew I was back in Stark's lab. The Flash was there also. "You okay," asked Barry.

"Yeah," I replied.

"Well, the great thing about how you time travel is that you can try again," stated Stark.

"Is there a limit to how many times I can do that?" I asked.

"Only if you want to keep your sanity," replied Stark. His tone of voice was very monotone and steady. I think he was serious.

Okay, I got a nap and then replanned my dinosaur safari. This time I wanted a bigger gun. The machine gun had seemed like a good idea at the time but the 5.56 NATO bullets just didn't penetrate enough. After doing some research I found that the T-Rex was about as large as the largest African Elephant. So, I decided to step up to an elephant gun.

My next stop was the Arizona Boom Stick Company down in Phoenix. Corwin was there to greet me, "How you doing Jack? What can I get for you?"

"Well I really need an 'elephant gun' to dispatch something about that big," I said.

"Something like a Tyrannosaurus Rex?" asked Corwin.

"Uh, yeah," I replied honestly. I was still not used to the fact that Corwin had meet me long before I had meet him. Time travel was funny like that.

"Well, this will probably do the job." He handed me what looked like a double barrel shotgun. "This isn't a shotgun," he added; like he could read my mind.

"This is a 500 Nitro Express." He handed me the 15 pound rifle. "I actually carry ammunition for this," Corwin added.

"Thanx, what do I owe you?" I asked.

"Well, for the gun the ammo pouch and the cartridges you owe me about three and a half ounces," he said bluntly. That was expensive but I wasn't going to argue. I left three one ounce American Gold Eagles and one half ounce.

I took the ridiculous gun to the range and put about a dozen rounds through it. This thing was no pop gun for sure.

I didn't bother to clean it and decided to try for the T-Rex trophy once again.

I wasn't going to let that blasted bird get the drop on me again. This time I found myself in a similar place. I was about a thousand years earlier than before. I was stalking it. As expected I found a good place to hide. I set up an ambush and waited. Sure enough the T-Rex had doubled back and was hunting me. I had a broad side shot lined up perfectly. I squeezed the back trigger on the weapon and let the 570 grain bullet loose at about 2500 fps. I got a direct hit. The damn thing didn't move. I just looked in my direction. "[RETACTED," I cursed. I aimed quickly and squeezed off another shot. I was again it hit. But again, the creature didn't move. I observed however that it had stopped breathing.

I had fired both barrels and quickly decided to reload. I did so. The creature was still standing where it was looking directly at me.

I left my hiding place and slowly approached the gigantic bird. It's gaze didn't move; like it was frozen in time and rigor mortis had instantly set in.

I tagged the great beast and decided to return. As I walked into the back shop at the Arizona Boom Stick Company. I saw my T-Rex had already been retrieved and was being stuffed.

"Congratulations," said Corwin.

"Thanx," I replied. "I can't believe that's what they actually look like," I commented.

"It's not bad," said Corwin.

"You've seen bigger?" I asked.

"Yeah, but the ones this size are usually a lot meaner," he commented. That did make me feel better.

"You want some advice for the next thing on the checklist?" asked Corwin.

"Sure," I replied.

"It's gonna be to kill Hitler," said Corwin matter of fact.

I had to admit I was extremely curious as to what would happen. This was the ultimate 'time travel' morality question.

"If you kill Hitler before operation Barbarossa then the Nazis develop the atom bomb before everyone else and they win the war. If you kill Hitler after that then it has no effect on the outcome of the war whatsoever. The only thing you change is the date on Hitler's death certificate," concluded Corwin. I realized he was telling the truth.

Hitler

Got any advice I asked.

Hitler the next thing in your checkboxes Hitler. If you believe me then you don't actually have to do it. I highly recommend not doing it to see what happens.

OK what happened?

Well if you kill Hitler before operation Barbarossa Germany Develop the atomic bomb first and nothing stops them.

If you kill Hitler after operation Barbarossa starts; and it has no effect on the outcome of the war whatsoever.